Thought Catalog


I’m Sick Of Being Told That I’m Single Because I’m ‘Intimidating’ To Guys

Posted: 30 Aug 2016 08:00 PM PDT

Sophia Sinclair
Sophia Sinclair

Several weeks ago, I found myself at a bar in downtown Denver with two good friends, both of whom happened to be visiting for the weekend from across the country. As we sat at a table laughing over college memories, catching up, and drinking Colorado craft beer, a guy in his mid-twenties came over to our table, and took a seat without saying a word or introducing himself. Suddenly our conversation shifted into banal small talk with an inebriated stranger. Unlike my friends, I wasn't actively engaged in the interactions with this stranger. I was not rude, but answered his probing questions with relatively short answers and did not make an effort to get to know him. Was he a nice guy? He probably was. Did I really care about him, however? No.

With a short weekend with friends from out of town, I was more interested in spending quality time with them, rather than spend the evening hanging out with a random guy who none of us would likely see again.

As we left the bar one of my friend's joked, "Grace-Ellen, you just kind of come off as… intimidating to guys." Although I've heard a similar sentiment before, this time the comment stuck with me to the point that I had to look up the official definition of "intimidating" in the dictionary.

So what does being "intimidating" really mean? At the bar, was I intimidating because I didn't bat my eyelashes, smile, and laugh with a stranger I didn't really care to be spending time with?

On a larger level, when Hilary Clinton (and let's put political ideology aside here) is labeled as "intimidating," is she really intimidating, or is she a woman who is sharp, direct, and articulate?

About a year ago, a wonderful family friend brought up in passing that she did not date throughout college because she was focused on her grades and studies, and probably "intimidated guys." So, was she intimidating, or was she simply a woman who played a greater value on her education than dating casually? Let's not exclude Beyoncé from this conversation, either. I have heard countless comments on her physical appearance, but that her power is "intimidating." Is Beyoncé intimidating, or is she a woman with an interest and commitment to social justice issues, who also happens to be a crazy talented singer and performer?

I am sick of being told that the reason I am single is because I am "intimidating" to guys. In fact, I am calling BS. We need to eradicate the "intimating woman" label. Since when does the success and confidence of women equivocate to "intimidating?" While the word "intimidating" doesn't necessarily always have negative connotations, I can't help but wonder if the "intimidating woman" label is another ploy to badger women back into traditional gender roles.

Healthy relationships are those that are filled with mutual respect, support, affection, and communication. So, for all of the "intimidating" women out there, keep being your bad ass self. Doing so will also allow you to find a partner who not only celebrates your ambitious self, but joins with you in becoming a mutually "intimidating" power couple. TC mark

Nick Viall Is The Next Bachelor And I Can’t Stop Screaming

Posted: 30 Aug 2016 07:53 PM PDT

A lot of surprising things have happened during my life:

  • My boobs were nonexistent forever and miraculously appeared when I turned 23.
  • I found out I like brussels sprouts! So yum!
  • And in my senior year of college, I joined a competitive poetry team (lol, yeah).

But of all the surprising things, the one that is still most shocking is that I developed a liking, NAY, a love, for a franchise that has been captivating audiences for over 10 years. I, Ari Eastman, am part of Bachelor Nation.

Sorry, Mom. You can blame my college roommate, Alyssa. We sat down with a glass of merlot and I’ve never looked back since.

I genuinely look forward to seeing Chris Harrison’s non-aging face every week. I mean, I follow Jorge from Bachelor in Paradise on Instagram! Like, I am ALL in, guys.

And being an original Nick Viall fangirl, I am over-the-moon-thrilled-pouring-myself-a-glass-of-champagne excited that the man, the myth, the legend has just been announced the next Bachelor.

nickviall
nickviall

I’ve been #TeamNick since Andi’s season. Never a huge fan of the dudes who end up vying for love, Nick always seemed different from the rest. His mumbly voice, self-deprecating sense of humor, and lack of “I AM MAN, HEAR ME ROAR, ME LIKE STEROIDS” mentality seemed too good to be true. A guy like this? Oh man, no brainer. Who wouldn’t pick him?

nickviall
nickviall

And yet, our beloved Nick hasn’t found lasting love. Which is good news for me because I’m pretty sure the reason he hasn’t settled down with a lovely lady is because I haven’t stepped out of the limo yet. (I’m not joking. ABC, check your mail. My audition tape includes rapping to Salt-N-Pepa, so you know I’m serious.)

NICK, U WANT SOME OF THIS?!?!
NICK, U WANT SOME OF THIS?!?!

Nick Viall is almost too great to be The Bachelor. I’m so pleasantly shocked. Remember Farmer Chris? Yikes. This is our treat for suffering through that fiasco.

nickviall
nickviall

Nick is handsome, endearing, and just the right amount of weird. BRING IT ON. This will be the best season yet. And seriously, Nick, if they don’t cast me and the girls all end up being duds, call me. TC mark

WE GET IT NICK VIALL

Posted: 30 Aug 2016 07:22 PM PDT

Hi Nick

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I heard you’re the next ‘Bachelor’

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You’re about to bang date 25 beautiful women

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and find fame love

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Also happened to notice you’re nearly perfect complexion

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And chiseled bod

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And jealousy-inducing pupper

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And this other fluffer

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Just wondering, can u like, stop?

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Seriously?

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We get it, you’re perfect

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WE GET IT.

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Our Generation Has Completely Screwed Itself Over In Terms Of Romance

Posted: 30 Aug 2016 07:15 PM PDT

freestocks.org
freestocks.org

As a 23-year-old single female it is safe to say that I'm a part of what is called "the hookup culture." One night stands have replaced dating and tinder profiles have replaced meaningful conversation.

While I was in a long-term relationship I listened to all my friends bitch and moan about being single and now that I'm single myself, I finally understand exactly what they were complaining about. Our generation thinks that it's cool to not care. Since when did not caring become cool? Expressing any signs of emotion is considered clingy and putting in effort is a bad thing.

Don't text him first because you'll seem like you're too needy. And definitely don't ask him to hang out two nights in a row because you'll seem too desperate. Never expect an explanation from a guy you're "just hooking up with" because everything is just casual nowadays. Make sure to always re-read every carefully thought out text message you send to him and make sure to choose words that will make you seem interested, but not too interested. Because being "too interested" in somebody is a bad thing nowadays, right?

If you're just "HANGING OUT" you can't get upset if he talks to another girl. Because you're just hanging out, right?

If you're "talking to someone” that absolutely does not mean that you are in a relationship. It means that you're both too insecure to make it "official" and by official I mean Facebook official, duh. We don't want to be tied down to one person anymore because the grass is always greener somewhere else, am I right?

Instead of being asked out on a date, he'll most likely ask you to "hang out" and afterwards you'll probably spend the next three days waiting for a text message that may never come. You'll be stuck wondering what you did wrong and every little detail will be analyzed. Did I talk to much? Was I boring? Or was he just simply not interested?

The problem with dating nowadays is that people don't say how they feel anymore.

If we're upset with someone instead of picking up a phone and calling them we ignore the problem until it fades away, or worse…it doesn't.

We can't say how we feel anymore because we're afraid of rejection. We're afraid to scare away a person we're interested in by showing any real feelings for them. Instead, we act as if we don't care and they'll do the same.

And it's a vigorous cycle that never ends. TC mark

10 People Who’ve Experienced A Real Miracle Explain Exactly What Happened

Posted: 30 Aug 2016 07:00 PM PDT

Flickr / Hartwig HKD
Flickr / Hartwig HKD

Answers originally published on R/AskReddit

1. Angel Hitchhiker

My father once was traveling along a country highway. It was early morning and he was at the front of a long line of traffic. Along his way he spotted a hitchhiker with a hiking backpack and being the kind person he was, he stopped for them and lost his place at the front of traffic. The guy seemed really friendly, dad chatted with him about his family and work, told the guy how he wanted to have a kid, the guy was super friendly and nice and supportive.

All of a sudden he asked my dad to drop him off. Dad was confused as this was right next to a field in the middle of nowhere. The guy said don’t worry about it and got out which weirded my dad out. My dad turned to leave and noticed the guy left his bag and went to let the guy know but he was gone. Nowhere to be seen. Dad says he searched for him but it made no sense where he went or how he could hide. Upon getting back in the car he looked in the bag to find it to be empty. Also weird. He decided to continue on his way and joined back in traffic. He came to the first set of lights eventually and noticed an accident had happened to the car that was behind him in the line of traffic originally and he realized had he not picked this guy up he would’ve been in that accident. That guy saved him.

2 weeks later his wife was pregnant with me. My dad still has the bag and carries it with him in his car at all times hoping to eventually run into the guy and thank him.

TLDR: dad was saved by weird guardian angel hitchhiker guy. Still has momento from occasion. Doesn’t understand what happened to this day.

2. Beat cancer without chemotherapy

Co-worker was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer. Said she was just going to juice and hope for the best because she didn’t want chemo. 4 months later she was cancer free.

No idea. Don’t even know where to begin. We had began collecting to help her family with funeral costs.

3. It’s a miracle our child survived

My wife and I tried having a baby for a couple years with no luck. Got to the point of IVF, which is what finally worked. We both were excited that it was actually happening, and made it the point where you can see a heartbeat flicker.

Shortly after she bled to the point where she passed what looked bigger than a clot and was assumed to be the baby. We went to the doctor and they confirmed no more heartbeat, come back in a couple days to check if all passed or if surgical removal was necessary.

Started checking her out and the tech called the doctor in the room, turns out they saw flickering again that they didn’t before. Everything appeared to back in order but threatened that a miscarriage could still happen. Fast forward to 30 weeks, wife’s blood pressure rises and gets diagnosed with preeclampsia. She wasn’t allowed to leave the hospital until the baby was out.

After a week and a half they move her to a different floor because she’s stable. The morning after the move she has a seizure and an emergency c section is needed. Baby was born and taken to the NICU, which she started out strong. The second or 3rd day her lungs were collapsing and needed chest tubes to expand the lungs. 45 days later after learning to eat from a bottle she came home at 5lbs.

Now she’s almost 3 and other than being skinny you couldn’t tell what she went through other than 2 scars and respiratory colds taking a little more effect on her.

4. My grandfather was brain dead, but then he wasn’t.

My grandfather had a heart attack while driving and crashed into a tree. He was without oxygen to his brain for 25 minutes. The hospital did everything they could to revive him, actually trying to revive him for 3+ hours because it was a veterans hospital and he was a decorated green beret.

I was called to this hospital and was told he was brain dead. he was without oxygen for too long. I cried and cried, and all the while my family was around his bedside talking to him. The doctors told them that he might be able to hear them.

They were going to take him off of life support that night but my uncle for San Diego missed his flight and couldn’t come until morning so they decided to wait. Well, good thing.

A few hours later I was next to my grandpa and his hands started twitching. I called the nurse in and she told us that these were just spasms, and that its normal. The twitches kept getting more severe and more frequent.

After a while, the doctors started to get a little concerned and checked his vitals, they seemed shocked. After a while, he opened his eyes. We were all in shock. Complete disbelief. They told us he was brain dead and we were going to take him off of life support. He couldn’t talk for hours, but asked for a pen and notepad to write something. The first thing he wrote was “energizer” and “bunny”. It took him about 2 days before he could speak and now 4 years later, he is a fully functioning 62 year old man.

5. We thought this patient was a goner

Working as a nursing tech/assistant in the ICU. I was getting report form the night shift and she told me about a patient that wasn’t doing well. Patient had emergency c-section and then numerous complications; they couldn’t control the bleeding.

Night tech was running to get blood products all night, and I did a couple times during the day. This women looked like hell. I worked about a week later and was asking about her and she was still in the ICU. Went to her room and she looked like a completely different person. Went from tons of machines hooked up to sitting up in a chair with her baby next to her. Yes, this was all thanks to hard working doctors/nurses/etc but it was still amazing. She needed around 80+ blood products in 24 hours and lived to tell the tale.

6. How did I not hit anything?

I was 18 and driving down the 5 (freeway) towards San Diego. I was on the far right lane going about 65 and there was an old chinese driver who was going about the same speed as be on the lane to my left. There was a bunch of other cars around us going at a steady pace. He didn’t realize that I was right next to him and tried to merge into my lane, I freaked out and I swerved to my right, my car (96 Accord) broke out and I ended up doing two 360’s through 4 lanes and I stopped facing the on coming traffic.

There were absolutely no cars around me when it happened and when I stopped the cars were a really good distance from me, it was as if something pushed all of them back when my car broke out. I didn’t hit anyone and after I stopped I was shocked, took a second to catch my breath and pulled off to the right lane.

Then I bawled like a baby and called my mom.

7. I was never prescribed the drug that saved my life

Had cancer that was slow to respond to even Red Devil chemo. The doctor switched me to Ibrance plus a hormonal drug. I took it for three months and the tumor went from being the size of a very large grapefruit to one too small to be measured. The doctors never saw anything like it.

After 3 months, I needed a refill on the hormonal drug. I called the oncology nurse, named the drug. She said it was never prescribed for me. The MD prescribed something else.

The records indicated the drug I was on was one no one gave me. But it was the combo that tamed the tumor. No one knows where that prescription came from. They were joking that well, there’s a blind study we can’t discuss.

8. I shouldn’t be able to do any of this

I was born 3 months early in the 90’s and survived.(Which is a miracle for the time) With cerebral palsy as the outcome they said I would never walk run or function normally. I learn to do all of that and more. Now I can do almost anything set my mind to. I’m an independent single mother. I have lived alone and raised him along with all the things I shouldn’t be able to do. It is yet another miracle.

9. No reason my dog lived this long

I was “gifted” a pure breed boxer who came with a host of problems. The vet diagnosed her with congenital heart disease and that at six months of age, she was likely to die in a month or so. We spent a lot of time walking through a national forest I lived near and I keep finding rocks that were in the shape of hearts, so I started collecting these heart stones in hope that they may help my dog.

Turns out my dog didn’t die until many years later from cancer. Seems I should have also been looking for tumor stones. But not sure if this is a miracle or the vet made a misdiagnosis.

10. Jesus healed my father

My dad was in a bad car accident around 1994 and had to walk with a cane because of herniated discs. The doctors did back surgery on him and fused part of his spine with titanium rods. He was bed ridden a good amount of the time. I was really little and believed that Jesus would heal him if we would just go to one of those places on TV I saw (Benny Hinn crusades).

My mom heard that a local church was bussing people to one of them and she called and got us seats. We were seated in the nose-bleed section and it came to the part of the night where people started walking on stage and reporting that they were healed. I looked at my dad and said “don’t you want to be healed? You should go down there.” At that time my little sister said the same thing to him (she was around 5 years old).

My dad gave my mom his cane and wobbled out of the row of seats. There were at least 6 flights of stairs to get to the bottom of the arena. My dad took the first step down without his cane and I thought he was going to fall down the stairs. He took the second step and the next thing I remember, we were racing each other down the stairs to the bottom. When we got to the bottom, a lady grabbed my dad by the shoulder and said “God told me to wait for you.”

She took his hand and lead us straight to the side of the stage. One of the ushers started asking him what God had done for him and he quickly told him what had happened. The next thing I knew we were on the stage and my dad was running back and forth with no cane (something I hadn’t seen my dad do for over 6 years at the time). The rest was a blur.

Long story short, my dad has been walking fine ever since, 16+ years. He went back to the doctors afterwards and they couldn’t explain what happened. Even though that happened when I was younger, it’s hard to not have doubts as an adult that some people are phonies when it comes to those types of church programs. At least for my dad (one confirmed case) it was 100% real. Jesus literally healed my dad and there is real life evidence to show for it. Crazy. TC mark

This Is What It’s Like When Depression And Anxiety Double Team You

Posted: 30 Aug 2016 06:15 PM PDT

Elliott Dunning
Elliott Dunning

Depression is a b*tch. And she lies. A lot.

She tells you all the right things to make you feel like the worst person in the world. She knows which buttons to push and which wounds to poke. She fills your head with horrible things and convinces you they are absolute truth. Sometimes, she even says you don't deserve to be here anymore.

And you believe her.

She tells you your children would be better off without you. That they deserve a mother who is better, who is "normal." She tells you your husband hates you and you don't deserve to be loved. She says you will never have a real friend who cares about you because you are fundamentally flawed, and of course, no one will ever like you. Depression will whisper in your ear you are bad, you are broken and you are unworthy.

And you believe her.

Depression takes over your brain and your heart. She fills all the holes in your soul with sadness, making it hard to raise your head, impossible to look people in the eye. She sneaks into your subconscious until you think it's you having these thoughts, not her. She makes you believe she is you, until you don't feel like you even exist anymore. You are just a husk of yourself. She is inside, taking over your mind and your heart and your soul.

She is persistent and stubborn. She holds on tight when you try to fight her and whispers her lies more insistently. Her whispers become shouts as you get closer to defeating her. Pills, meditation, exercise, mindfulness, supplements, sunshine, therapy, a million things to try, but if you loosen your grip, even just a little, then she weasels her way back into your brain and you spin out into that black space.

Depression has a sister. Anxiety.

Anxiety whispers worst case scenarios into your ear and won't let up. The phone rings with a number you don't recognize. It must be a collection agency or the hospital calling to tell you a loved one has died. Or the bank. Or the IRS. Or. Or. Or.

Your friend hasn't returned your text. So she has decided she doesn't like you anymore or to stop lying about liking you in the first place. Your car made a funny noise so you and your children are going to die in a fiery explosion. A person smiled at you at the grocery store so they must feel sorry for you. And on and on and on.

When depression and anxiety double team you, you spiral, completely out of control. Anxiety says your friend doesn't like you and depression says of course she doesn't. You are completely unlovable and why would she?

Anxiety says your husband is late because he's having an affair and depression says you deserve it because you are a horrible wife. Anxiety tells you not to go to a mom's night out or play date because they won't like you. Depression tells you you are fat, ugly and stupid and they are better than you. Anxiety tells you something is wrong with your kid. Depression tells you you are unfit and don't deserve to be his mother.

Anxiety says horrible things and depression validates them.

They get put on an internal loop and all you hear in your head are a thousand nasty things. You can't turn it off. You become a shell, filled with fear, sadness, blackness and doubt.

You want to hide, but you can't. You want to run away, but you don't.

You keep on going, doing what you can to make it through each day. You take your meds, you meditate and you practice mindfulness. Maybe, if you're lucky, depression and anxiety leave you alone for long enough that you can claw your way out of the spiral and be a mother, a wife, a daughter and a person. Not a ghost. Not a shell. You. TC mark

This story was published on The Mighty, a platform for people facing health challenges to share their stories and connect.

How To Overcome Your Deepest Fear, Based On Your Zodiac Sign

Posted: 30 Aug 2016 06:00 PM PDT

rgags
rgags

Fear, the wicked beast that shackles you with worry, luring you to your heart's desires only to yank you back to square one with feverish delight. It is the state of mind that is so destructive, yet so human that we are unable to detach ourselves completely from it. Fear clouds our minds with illusion, engulfing us with an obscurity that only the Muses can chuckle over as we weave our own fate, blindly.

I've never been one to wave the white flag without a fight.

All humans contain an inner magic, an endless power cell of purity, a penetrating life force. This of course, comes from The Sun, and its position in the sky when you were born, blessing you with sacred powers that just need to be harnessed.

Yes, I mean your "Sun Sign" or "Zodiac Sign." Once you tap into this energy, you will discover the root of your conscious mind. Is that a peaceful oasis, a sacred pool of vitality, or an awe-inspiring volcanic eruption of glory?

Let's get to fighting.

Aries

With feisty Mars as your ruling planet, you will always be blessed with initiative courage. Fear may leave you moody, confused, and kicking your feet at the dirt asking, "What is the point?" Sweet Aries, your power comes from the charge, the battle, and the passion. Recognize that you are an inextinguishable flame – a force to be reckoned with. Only then will you discover that defeating fear is just a straight charge away.

Taurus

My lovely Earthly beauty, with a pride for your stubbornness and grounding energy, you may only want to move when prodded. Center yourself in Nature, and hold the dirt in your hands. You will realize that the Earth is constantly moving, active with new life. Sweet Taurus, my answer for you is to not allow Fear to stand upon the same Earth that you do every single day. You control the landscapes. You control the ebb and flow of the world.

Gemini

With Mercury as your ruling planet, and Air as your element, you are truly the only sign able to transit from Heaven to Hell with ease. With a knack for higher though and discovery, sometimes it's necessary to recruit evil, to defeat evil itself. Your adaptability is unmatched. Rationalize the fear, and then deliver a finishing blow with a sly smirk.

Cancer

Ruled by the Moon, you are the tides. Known to be one of the most emotionally potent signs of the Zodiac, you are able to persevere through any emotional strife. Fear has never had a friend, or a warm meal. Fear has never seen the light at the end of the tunnel. It's up to you to persuade Fear that it has no place in your tender heart. A bit abstract? Your determination is a deluge to wipe away the worry.

Leo

You are ruled by The Sun, the same energy that holds your hidden power. How can you truly identify your fears to defeat them if you never walk outside during the moonlight? Your creative and cheerful vibe will be able to demolish your fear once you walk away from your palace. Your shine isn't just bright – it can be subtle too.

Virgo

Fear uses the dirty details to attempt to destroy you. Your purity and practicality is your unwavering friend. With Mercury in your court, you must realize that taking care of your fear is just as important as taking care of anything, or anyone else. Once you channel your unmatched, dynamic loyalty, the fear will dissipate.

Libra

My dear Venusian beauty, the ultimate power of perspective is your strength. You are the divine law of the land and the harmonious peacekeeper. Is it fair that Fear gets so much air time? I didn't think so. Get out your gavel, and play devil's advocate until Fear retreats. Your beauty will shine in the land for eternity.

Scorpio

My Plutonian powerhouse. My magnetic mirage. You have the power to shift landscapes with a single word, and control lovers with a single kiss. How have you allowed Fear to stay with you for so long? Recognize that you have the power to transform the universe. You must shed your skin to regenerate and rest. To let go of past pain.

Sagittarius

With lady luck always smiling upon you, no other sign can match your expansive nature. You are the true adventurer. With a clever sense of humor and ideas that can carry you over mountains, the key to defeating Fear is realizing that a quest takes time. This doesn't mean you can't have a good time along the way.

Capricorn

My beautiful, self-controlled game master. The ball is always in your court. After all, you made all the rules. With structured Saturn as your divine ruler, you have difficulties freeing yourself from the responsibilities of the universe which weigh heavily on your shoulders. In order to oust fear, you must surrender yourself to it. Only then will it be close enough to you to destroy.

Aquarius

My stunning humanitarian and independent extraordinaire, you love to fight for a good cause for the betterment of everyone. Fear tries to lace you in emotional expression, to which you've dodged again and again. You are the progressive energy of the Zodiac, raising our overall consciousness to transcend Fear in all fields of existence. You must be your own best friend. You must fight for yourself.

Pisces

My Neptunian void, you are the release point of all of the energy in the universe. It may burden you at times and make you feel Fear in its extremes, but please know – there is nothing more powerful, there is nothing more gentle, there is nothing more wholesome, than love. Due to the universal laws, Fear has no choice but to dissipate in your energy. Let Fear, be your power.

I don't want to live a life being afraid.

Good luck, fear sucks. TC mark

What It Means To Be A Girl Who’s Had Her Heart Severely Broken

Posted: 30 Aug 2016 05:15 PM PDT

Flickr /Nadja Tatar
Flickr /Nadja Tatar

Girls who have had their hearts broken — shattered — are a different breed. There is a strength that lives inside of them that did not exist before heartbreak. Each one shares a secret that nobody knows. There is a victory that they share — one that they rarely reveal — because for a brief time, they got so lost, that they forgot how to breathe, and had to somehow find their way back to air. And they did.

They angrily resent their own deep-seated need for knowledge of the person who broke them. They hunt hungrily for information. They are disgusted by their own desire to know their breaker's whereabouts and feelings. They are so afraid of the day they find that he has now moved onto someone else, and they are still alone. They cannot understand how he does not value the moments they shared together — so incredibly sacred. They cannot understand how they will move on if they still value the moments they shared with him — so incredibly sacred.

Girls who have had their hearts broken — shattered — keep a secret. After the heartbreak, they became a new version of themselves. Their heart is healed, but the scar covers a soft spot deep within. They will never completely heal this wound. They will compensate for it in other ways. They learn truths about themselves from this chink in their armor that only they can know. They get out of bed and land on their shaky feet, determined to keep going and put more and more space between them and their vulnerability.

And they do.

Girls who have had their hearts broken know something that the rest do not. They are the sages of their time. They more intimately know themselves and their resilience — their propensity for living — because of their heartbreak.

They come to find, over time, that the chink in their armor is a gift from the most unlikely place. Through this wound that never completely heals, they find empathy and strength. Their heart is open to the world, because they know a certain kind of devastation, and will listen to others with similar stories. In losing the love of their life, they gain a love of the world. They will see more, do more, and know more than those who will never know heartbreak, and for that, they are quietly and sometimes unknowingly grateful. TC mark

25 Little Pieces Of Life Advice Every 20-Something Girl Needs To Hear Right Now

Posted: 30 Aug 2016 05:00 PM PDT

pexels
pexels

1. You will actually miss nap time when you're older. Milk it.

2. Your parents are your biggest supporters. Treat time with them like the treasure it is.

3. Quit wishing for happiness, create it.

4. Every second you spend wondering what someone else is thinking is a second lost.

5. Next time your mom cooks dinner, let her show you how.

6.  Just stop trying to sneak out- you get caught every time.

7. The more you chase boys, the more they elude you.

8. It will take a LOT of failed attempts before you find your way, don't worry.

9. Sometimes your accomplishments will not make other people happy.

10. Crush those goals, anyway!

11. Remember when your brother bit his nails? Don't try it. You won't be able to stop.

12. Never, ever stop writing.

13. Not everyone is meant to stay in your life. Learn to let them go.

14. Hot Pockets are not dinner. Neither are Reese's Cups. (See #5.)

15. Start and keep a journal. Take pictures. Your memory is terrible.

16. Drinking isn't always fun.

17. Those things you hate: taxes, bills, insurance? They're frustrating, but important.

18. Learn to love yourself before you give so much love away to the wrong people.

19. Someone is always prettier/smarter/luckier. Stop comparing, you still have things they don't.

20. Friendships ending can hurt worse than breakups. Despite everything, you're worthy of the best love.

21. Take that damn trip!

22. Stop spending so much money on stupid shit. Seriously.

23. Start running. It will teach you more mentally & physically than you could ever know.

24. You are never too young or too old to change your life. Do what your heart wants.

25. You're going to be just fine. Laugh it off or learn from it- it's all going to be okay. TC mark

Here’s The One Crucial Thing You Need To Know Your Friendship Is Actually Built To Last

Posted: 30 Aug 2016 04:15 PM PDT

leniepanini
leniepanini

Friendships are difficult to cultivate. We want so desperately to find our person that we sometimes skimp on the quality of our friendships and focus on quantity, instead. We settle for less than we deserve because we crave emotional intimacy with other people.

In this quest we get confused about what friendship really means.

What makes friendship between two people so special?

Friendship isn't the person who is going to roll to the mall with you and let you buy more shit you don't need before you've paid your rent. It isn't the person that will let you get too drunk and wallow in your own pity because you have to 'let it all out' and it sure as hell isn't the person that drags you out to fulfill ride-or-die duties every night despite knowing you have other obligations as an adult.

Friends don't get angry or upset with you for not being able to perform your due diligence as a prop to their social calendar. Those aren't friends! Those are people who find pleasure in trying to control your life because they don't feel like they can control their own. You shouldn't seek friends so you have someone to tag occasionally on social media.

Are you really that lonely?

Friends should be able to understand the demands of our lives, but even still, we all have those friends that are going to be upset with us for having to flake at the last minute due to some unforeseen circumstance relating to our grown-up lives.

These are the friends that place a higher value on making sure the entire squad is there on their birthday, just to get a picture to plaster across social media so all of their other friends know how many friends they have. We find ourselves wondering why our friends are getting so bent out of shape over the little things and we come to the understanding that our friends aren't friends at all, and we're just another pretty filter on their unsatisfying life.

Why are only the visible things the things that matter? Do you have to be seen with them to be their friend? Rather than being disappointed that you had to leave the party early, shouldn't they be happy that you came to the party in the first place?

True friends are far more understanding than that. They don't only love you because of what's right with you, but they love you because of what's wrong with you, too. Flaws and all! They'll do their best to make you stronger in the face of your demons.

They're there when you need them and more importantly, they're there when you don't.

They don't need you hooked on their arm every weekend to know that you'll always be hooked on their heart. You don't have to call or text them every day, telling them how much you care, because your actions have already shown them that. Friendship is the person who might be completely silent; you might go weeks, months and maybe even years at a time without seeing them, but they've still taken up permanent residence in your heart.

Knowing that you don't have to hide your scars, your flaws and your insecurities from this person because you know they'll be sharing theirs with you, too, makes your friendship special. Telling you when enough is enough and that you are enough makes your friendship special. Helping you be the best person that you can be while still understanding your fragility as a human makes your friendship special.

Just being two normal people totally content with living your incredibly normal lives, but knowing those lives are better together, makes your friendship special. TC mark