Thought Catalog

Live Blog: I’m Spending The Night In Room 217 Of The Hotel ‘The Shining’ Is Based On

Posted: 11 Sep 2016 10:02 PM PDT

12:01 am

We’re in bed watching The Shining. Will go live again tomorrow night with some final thoughts after I have the day to do some final interviews.

I will also update if we get any activity from Miss Wilson. She prefers married couples and single women and does not like single men. We’re not sure what she’s going to make of two sloppy, single 30-something women sharing her most watched over bed, but we’ll definitely report here immediately if anything happens.

11:39 pm

At the theatrical seance I was invited to, I was supposed to invite a little girl who used to summer at the Stanley to play with me. This is her doll, it’s meant to look like her.


Don’t ask me why I got involved with dolls.

11:32 pm


The original bar where Stephen King was served a drink by Lloyd Grady. Does that name ring a bell?

11:17 pm

We’re totally freaking out over this photo. It was taken at a time when I made sure no one was behind me and everyone was off the to the side, letting people take photos by themselves, one by one. I also took the photo as part of a “burst” on my iPhone and you can see the mystery object fade in and out:

Beginning of burst:


End of burst:


It seems like a figure that comes into focus?


We’re going over the pictures I took on the tour. In one place (the concert hall basement) there’s been especially convincing photos taken in a mirror, so I stopped to take a picture of myself in the mirror. I checked carefully that there was no one behind me while taking it, and it definitely looks like you can see the faint outline of someone behind me:


Ummmm. Guys?

11:05 pm

Does anyone remember this from the book/miniseries? ^__^


10:57 pm

Reader Jenny wanted me to ask what the spirits need in order to move on. I pulled this card:


The Hierophant usually conveys a need to follow a traditional path. Maybe all the “go towards the white light” stuff we hear is true?

From what I’ve heard, there aren’t many people who have had “bad” experiences here other than the fact that paranormal experiences can be scary! Most ghosts here return because the hotel represents some of their happiest memories.

10:51 pm

Reader Dalton wanted me to ask Miss Wilson if she’s happy. Since we’ve been having better luck with the cards, I asked them and got The Empress card. It’s a happy card of a feminine, nurturing woman who is in control and full of energy. I would say yes!


10:45 pm

Apparently Miss Wilson loves to help women pick out their clothes. I left two options for tomorrow hanging in the closet, hoping in the morning one of them is on the floor and one is left hanging.


10:40 pm

Thanks for watching the live video! If you have questions for us to try to answer view ouija or tarot, just leave them in the comments, we will try again later.

So, the ghost tour. I did learn a lot of interesting stuff that is not available online, as I read pretty extensively before I came here. One of the most interesting stories (because it involves a celebrity) was about Jim Carrey’s 2 hour stay in room 217. Apparently he could only last that long and won’t say why, but it *sounds like* the resident ghost of 217 (Miss Wilson) didn’t take kindly to an uppity movie star staying in her room — especially since in her time single men weren’t allowed to stay here.

10:12 pm

Hey guys, I just got back from a ghost tour by one of the Stanley’s staff and a “theatrical seance”. I’m going to go on Facebook live and give a tour of the room and then talk about what I just experienced.

You can follow along on Creepy Catalog’s Facebook here.

6:40 pm

We’re about to go on the hotel’s ghost tour, and then we’ll attend a “theatrical seance”. Afterwards, we’re going to dive into the Ouija board and directly seeking out some supernatural evidence. We’ll be on Facebook Live around then, check back in around 9:30.

In the meantime please leave questions in the comments, we’ll use them for Ouija and tarot later.

6:20 pm

We’re back from dinner and Miss Wilson did NOT clean up our room, unpack our bags, do our laundry, or finish any of my writing for me.

We did, however get to visit the grounds and take some more pictures:

The hotel:


This reminded me of the hedge animals from the book:


They’re starting to grow a hedge maze:


A special beer they brew up here in Estes Park:


4:00 pm

Feel free to ask questions in the comments. We’re going to get dinner and then see if we can use our ouija board before our ghost tour with the staff.

4:05 pm

We’re going to go to dinner and get some photos of the rest of the hotel. While we’re gone we’re going to leave two “tests” for the ghosts.

1. I know Stephen King isn’t dead and haunting this hotel, but he’s such an important part of the history of this room that I’m going to leave a book by another horror writer (the amazing Shirley Jackson) out and see if anything happens to it:


2. Since Miss Wilson is such a neat freak I’ve left a cup on the ground next to the garbage can:



There’s said to be a ghost specific to room 217.

Back in 1911 this was the presidential suite of the hotel. During one summer storm the power in the hotel went out. A maid, Elizabeth Wilson, was sent to light the rooms with gas lanterns while the guests waited in the lobby. There was a gas leak in the room when Miss Wilson entered with a lit candle. There was a massive explosion that severely injured her. Stanley (the owner of the hotel) got her medical care and made her “head chambermaid” until her death in 1950.

After she died, she became a type A ghost of sorts. She’s reported to unpack guest’s bags for them, line up their shoes, and tidy the room when no one is present.

A little surprising, then, when we opened the door and found pillowcases randomly scattered on the bed. Is this a ghostly presence? Or a careless cleaner?


2:45 pm


I’m checked into room 217.

I’ve been to Estes Park a few times before, but this is the first time I’ve been in the Stanley. It lends some credence to my theory that there’s no way I can get that freaked out tonight. Hotels seem inherently safe (which is perhaps, why The Shining is so unnerving — it takes something we think of as “safe” and makes it terrifying) because you’re surrounded by people. Especially on this sunny Sunday afternoon the Stanley is crawling with people here to tour the hotel and explore the grounds.

Another fun fact about the Stanley is that they play Kubrick’s movie 24/7, every day of the year on a dedicated channel at the hotel. I happened to turn it on to a very serendipitous scene:

My writer friend and I are now watching the scene where Wendy brings Jack lunch and asks “get anything written today?” And we both “SAME-ed” this scene so hard. Maybe he wouldn’t have flipped out and gone crazy if she hadn’t been such a whiny nag who commits the cardinal sin of being married to a writer: asking how their writing is going.

10:00 am

Packing up
Packing up

Leaving aside for a minute the specific deaths and hauntings that have occurred since the hotel has been built, the town is said to be haunted or cursed in other ways. There are “time warp” caves, “Indian curses”, and reports of skinwalkers stalking the area.

Here’s a report I found this morning from 1885 about mysterious “blue mists” that haunt the Estes Park area, and eat people alive leaving behind bizarre tripod footprints:

Colorado Legends & Lore
Colorado Legends & Lore

Here’s a description of one of the blue mist’s victims:

Finally, a search party was sent up Mount Caplain where they found Bill’s three beloved hound dogs ripped to shreds, surrounded by the same peculiar hoofprints that the enigma had warned about. Inside Bill’s cabin, they found what was left of the misanthrope after the mystic haze got a hold of him. At least the oldster died a hero, since he tried to warn others about the carnivorous mists.

We’re about to pack up and head up the mountains to the hotel. Stay tuned for updates later this afternoon as we check in and get to talk to the staff. For now, you can read my own history of loving The Shining and some pretty creepy background info here.

The Stanley hotel in Estes Park, Colorado is routinely included in lists that describe the most haunted places in America. There have been reports of hauntings and paranormal phenomena since the hotel opened over a hundred years ago. Most famously, Stephen King stayed there in 1974 — he and his wife were the hotel’s only guests, as it was off-season. What King experienced that night was so vividly unsettling, that he had outlined the entirety of The Shining by morning.

Here is a quick look at the most terrifying details of the place we’ll explore tonight:

[*] While filming Dumb and Dumber, Jim Carrey requested room 217 but checked out after just three hours. He refuses to talk about what happened to him there.

[*] This picture of a little girl ghost captured by a guest of the hotel.

[*] The story behind what may have inspired King’s book: "Elizabeth Wilson was the chief housekeeper who, during an early summer storm in 1911, was injured in an explosion as she was lighting the acetylene lanterns in room 217. She survived with broken ankles, but to this day takes special care of room 217's guests, possibly even King, who stayed there just days before the near-deserted Stanley closed for the winter. King is said to have encountered a young child during his stay, though there were no children visiting at that time. Guests have reported items moved, luggage unpacked, and lights being turned on and off."

Tonight I’m staying in room 217. I’ll be updating this live blog as the day/night goes on.

29 Disgusting But TRUE Stories Of Female Emergency-Room Patients That’ll Freak You Out (NSFL)

Posted: 11 Sep 2016 10:00 PM PDT

Illustration by Daniella Urdinlaiz /
Illustration by Daniella Urdinlaiz /
Found on AskReddit.

1. She’d sewed a raw chicken inside of herself in the hopes that it’d turn into a baby.

"Once had a doctor tell me of a case he took where one of his female patients was complaining about abdominal pain. After a thorough exam, he noticed a pungent aroma from…down there. Upon further inspection, she’d sewed a raw chicken inside of herself in the hopes that it’d turn into a baby…."


2. Two D-size batteries had exploded inside her vagina.

"A lady came in via ambulance. She was complaining of vaginal pain and bleeding and mentioned nothing else. Lo and behold when we started her pelvic exam the speculum revealed that she had two D-size batteries that had exploded inside of her. She was admitted with third-degree burns on her vaginal wall. She also came in two weeks later and her boyfriend had shoved car oil in her vagina.


3. A small turtle, wedged up a woman’s vagina, was blinking at her.

"A woman came into the ER complaining of strange discharge from her (you guessed it) vagina. So she was admitted and a male nurse saw to her. As a note, the male nurse was gay and was relatively flamboyant. Anyway, the woman had her legs hiked up, and the male nurse has his head under the blanket, looking at her hoo ha. But suddenly he jumped back, looking terrified. My friend, in a bout of good-natured ribbing, joked that the male nurse couldn’t be THAT afraid of women; but, then he looked at her, fear and confusion clouding his eyes, and said, ‘something blinked at me.’

My friend is bewildered and ducks under the blanket to see for herself. And sure enough, she saw something blinking. Something small, wedged up a woman’s vagina, was blinking at her.

I’m not sure what happened next, but it was a turtle. A tiny pet turtle. ‘Tad the vag turtle’ my friend called it. The woman, somehow, believed that her vagina was a more suitable ‘tank’ that which her turtle had been in and managed to wedge him up there.

And, before you ask, my friend didn’t know what happened to the turtle, and it still makes me sad to wonder if he went home with his owner."


4. She’d had a large steak shoved up into her vagina for quite some time, and maggots were crawling out of her.

"I have a family member who is a surgical tech. She often has the best stories but this one has stuck with me for years.

A female PT came in complaining about severe abdominal pain. The nurses peeped the woman to have a vaginal check. When the doctor came in and lifted the sheet there where maggots crawling all over the bed. And we are not talking just a few…Long story short, this woman [had] a large steak shoved up into her vagina that had been there for quite some time. She was full of maggots. My family member never did find out why this chick shoved it up there. And I can’t look at steak without gagging."


5. The woman’s nipple kept falling off.

"My cousin told me about a patient who complained about her nipple falling off all the time. She said she tried to glue it back on or use skincare creams to have it stick to her breast. Turns out she had (not sure what stage anymore, probably pretty bad) breast cancer.

From what I remember the tumor got so big that the breast-skin was stretched quite a bit. Somehow that plus friction lead to an open, not healing and oozing wound which extended to her nipple.. Well…

Nobody there understood how she didn’t go to a doctor or a hospital earlier. Keep in mind this happened in Germany. She had a job. Health insurance and everything."


6. She’d put a potato in her vagina to hold up her prolapsed uterus.

"From a friend. Somewhere deep in Alabama. An elderly lady came in and said that she was having stomach pain or some kind of pain. When he was examining her, he noticed she had pain near her uterus/female areas. So, she got undressed for another exam, and she casually said to him, “Now, I do got leaves growing out of my Virginia.” He looked and saw that by God she did, and that she’d put a potato in her vagina to hold up her prolapsed uterus."


7. She got chlamydia from letting him fuck her in her colostomy hole.

"This story came from a nurse I was good friends with. She worked at a Metro hospital and this was her most memorable one to date.

Couple goes to ER, the lady of said couple comes in complaining of a rash around her colostomy hole and she is very concerned. They do a few general tests and take a bacteria sample to the lab. When the results came back our friend had to deliver the news to the couple. Turns out the ‘rash’ was chlamydia of the colostomy hole. Now I will give you a minute to let that all sink in here.

Ok so this lead to the following break down of events. It was now discovered that the couple were engaging in sexual intercourse in her colostomy hole beyond the normal areas of choice. The lady also later checked out to not have said chlamydia of her genital area therefore leading to the discovery that her man was cheating on her and brought her home a gift from his ‘other lover’. Manm some weird-ass shit goes down in the Motor City."


8. She didn’t realize that the huge bleeding, stinking mass on her chest was breast cancer.

"I treated a lady who’d passed out in the shower, came in for a CT. They found she had fungating breast cancer. When she was asked about the huge bleeding, stinking mass on her chest, both she AND her husband both denied all knowledge of it. By that stage she also had metastatic cancer in her brain. Very sad."


9. The pungent smell and foul discharge were from a tampon she’d accidentally kept up there for a month.

"Not a doctor but worked as a patient care assistant in an ER for 4 years. My first weekend shift on the job a couple came in with the female complaining about vaginal discharge. The boyfriend talked to us outside the room about how he noticed a pungent smell while pleasuring her and then noticed the discharge. So the nurse and doctor do their jobs as I take vitals and lead him to the waiting room for some privacy she requested. 5 minutes later the doctor comes over to the nurse and I to inform us that the female forgot to remove her tampon from the previous month and when she realized that was the cause she didn’t know how to inform her boyfriend and so she turned it into an ER visit…."


10. Her vaginal acids dissolved the plastic wrap around the $9,000 in cash she’d shoved up her hoo-hoo.

"Not hidden from us, but from her boyfriend. Came in with $9,000 in cash which she had wrapped in plastic and shoved up her hoo-hoo. Her vaginal acids disintegrated the plastic wrap and she had to be anesthetized to get it all out."


11. She broke her cervix by shoving two Coke bottles inside her.

"Well I’m a radiographer and sometimes you see those objects stuck deep inside patients, I’ve seen a spray can, a screwdriver, a potato, a dildo gone way too far…but the more surprising one was a woman that used a Coke 33cl glass bottle as a dildo, and she didn’t have enough so she used another, I guess she felt nothing due to excitement cause she pushed the first bottle into he uterus breaking the cervix by pushing with the second bottle."


12. She had been trying to self-acupuncture, and the needles got embedded.

"A 60 y F came in after 'falling asleep and rolling on a pin cushion.' She had three two-inch needles in her left shoulder on X-ray. Later found out she had been trying self-acupuncture :S"


13. She had a massive vaginal tumor the size of a football.

"When I interned in the OB/GYN department, we had a lady sent to the ER due to vaginal bleeding.

When she was examined, she had a massive vaginal tumor, the size of a football, growing between her legs.

Her husband was with her, both said that it had just appeared, and they never noticed before.

There was absolutely no doubt that the thing had been growing for months. Sometimes when in shock, people can be in denial of the most absurd things."


14. Fecal matter was draining out of the wound where she kept stabbing herself.

"Doctor here, in my 4th year of residency. You know how there are ‘cutters’ who lacerate and scratch their wrists chronically for psychiatric reasons? I once had a patient who, for similar reasons, would stab herself in the lower abdomen frequently and chronically enough that a permanent open wound developed, which she continued to pick at and stuff with paper and other gross stuff. She finally came to the hospital complaining that her ‘belly smells like it’s farting.’ She had developed a nasty, fibrotic fistula between her colon and her wound, letting fecal matter drain out into the skin. Don’t stab yourself folks; that’s our job."


15. She had her first child, then ran out into the parking lot ten minutes later to shoot up with the child’s father.

"Had a patient that was a heroin addict leave the NICU ten minutes after having her first child to run to the parking lot and shoot up with the child’s father.

Ten minutes later she took a drug test. When we consulted her she said that she knew she was going to jail (it was her 5th child) and she wanted one last hit."


16. She would stick razor blades up her vagina or shards of glass…

"Used to have this patient…that would stick razor blades up her vagina or shards of glass and wouldn’t let anyone remove them and would just sit in her room curled up while it stank the room rotten.

And another lady who was elderly who for years had been sending her husband out to buy her cotton wool pads; turns out she had been padding this gigantic hole in her breast from breast cancer and she never wanted to go to the doctor due to a bad childhood experience; sadly she died a few days later and her family were distraught that she had kept this a secret so long."


17. She hid a whole pack of soggy Oreos, with some of them missing, under her tits.

"My mom (physician) was prepping a lady for weight-loss surgery back when she was a resident. She’s taking all of her vitals, doing all of the necessary pre-op questioning, and then starts to hook up her heart monitor (bunch of sticky pads on the chest). This lady had massive boobs that are physically in the way of where my mom needs to stick everything, and she’s actively trying to prevent my mom from accessing those places around her chest. Finally, my mom just says look, this has to happen or no surgery. My mom lifts (literally) the lady’s boob up and out of the way to expose the spot, and what does she find?

A whole pack of soggy Oreos, with a couple already missing. What. The. Fuck. They had to postpone the (weight-loss, ahem) surgery because she had recently eaten them and no longer had the required (or ideal) empty stomach before surgery. This lady literally had a cache of junk food stored under her tits."


18. Seeking a voluptuous butt, she kept injecting fish oil into her ass.

"A patient came into the ER with severe pain in her buttocks on both sides, as well as fevers and some other indications of infection. After further evaluation she was diagnosed with a nasty deep tissue infection requiring inpatient hospitalization and IV antibiotics, but the question still remained as to where the infection came from.

As it turned out, she had read online that rubbing fish oil on your butt can make it more voluptuous. She figured, if it works on the surface, it might work even better on the inside! So she took her insulin syringes and withdrew the fish oil from an oral capsule, and injected herself with fish oil daily for two weeks until she inevitably became infected.

And no, her butt was not more voluptuous. It was red, swollen, hard, severely tender, and she was unable to lay on her back or sit down for weeks."


19. The patient was advised to avoid chinchilla semen in the future.

"Not a doctor but my sister is a nurse. She was working the ER when this lady came in with a nasty rash on her legs. She was being cagey about what had happened and the department was particularly busy that evening, so my sister told the woman either to tell her what was going on or she would have to go help someone else…

Apparently the patient had been sleeping. She awoke when she felt a strange bumping sensation on her leg, and looked down to see her pet chinchilla humping her. As the patient described it, this continued without interruption for a short while before the chinchilla ‘went.’

‘Went?’ my sister asked. The patient then made a splooshing motion with her hands.

‘You know, it…went.’

My sister nodded her head and said she’d go get the doctor. She barely made it to the hallway and shut the door before breaking down laughing.

Eventually the doctor came by to see what was up, my sister filled him in, and they had a good laugh. The doctor then pointed out that in order for the patient to have a reaction, this had to be at least her second chinchilla spunk money shot.

After that, the doctor wrote a script for some topical cream and advised that the patient avoid chinchilla semen in the future."


20. She kept injecting herself with toilet water.

"Not a doctor, a nurse. I once had a patient who had bloody diarrhea, nausea and vomiting…every day. Couldn’t find the source so we started to get sketched out.

We soon found out that she was stealing syringes and drawing blood straight from her porta-cath (catheter in chest that goes directly into a heart for lab draws/IV fluids and meds) and injecting it into the toilet to make us believe her.

She had Munchausen’s Syndrome."


21. She smuggled two McDoubles under one tit and a half-liter of Cola under the other.

"Had a LARGE lady come in who needed to get a scan before entering a strictly control diet, what shows up? Two McDoubles under one tit and a half-liter of Cola under the other. She then starts to complain the hospital isn’t feeding her enough and they are starving her."


22. Her intestinal guts were spilling out through her vagina.

"A close friend worked at a gynecologist’s office. She said a woman came in and she smelled so bad. The doctor saw her and asked what happened. She said she was cleaning, heard a pop, and then felt pain. Apparently, her vagina had been ripped open and her intestinal guts were coming out through her vagina. The doctor said there was no way this could physically be possible by bending over….This was a trademark case of horse (or something similar) bestiality gone wrong."


23. A stinky street woman came in with maggots all in and around her vagina.

"When a friend was on E.R. rotation a stinky street woman came in with maggots all in and around her vagina."


24. She had tried to commit suicide by stabbing her vagina with a chef’s knife.

"A few years ago had a young girl come in with what appeared to be heavy menstrual bleeding…but arterial (bright red) blood. Seemed shifty. On further exam and questioning she ‘tried to commit suicide’ by stabbing her vagina with a chef’s knife. Unfortunately she also perforated her rectum in the process (these are only separated by a thin fascial plane along the posterior aspect of the vagina). She left the hospital with a diverting colostomy…probably not the attention she was originally looking for."


25. She got some sort of orgasmic relief from shoving pens up through her urethra.

"This woman had a bizarre addiction to shoving pens up through her urethra. Anything, BICs, Pentel, Pilot. She got some sort of orgasmic relief from it despite all the pain. I never really understood it. We found out what was happening after I lost a few pens in her room…"


26. The woman’s husband had to shove a 2×4 on her stomach to move the flaps in order to have sex with her.

"My friend’s mom was an ER nurse. She had a rather large female patient come in with her husband. The patient was complaining of severe itching on her abdomen, of which she could pinpoint the reason. After the doctor and nurses held up the many skin flaps on her abdomen, the saw the rash and several splinters causing irritation. Turns out, the woman’s husband had to shove a 2×4 on her stomach to move the flaps in order to have sex with her."


27. She’d used a potato as a tampon, and it started sprouting leaves.

"I heard this story from a friend of the person who is supposedly a nurse in an ER (I don’t know if this story is true because of that but it is an amazing story nonetheless). One night a woman is carted in by the EMTs and she is so large she needed two stretchers. We are talking well over 500 lbs. The doctor comes over to her and asks what’s wrong. ‘Something is growing out of me.’ the doctor rolls his eyes and thinks, ‘Great, another hypochondriac,’ so he asks her where it is growing out of. She points down to her nether regions. The doctor puts her in stirrups (don’t ask me how cause I don’t know) and parts her legs. Lo and behold there was something green coming out of her lady bits. He stands up and goes to her and asks what she put up there. She denies anything and reluctantly the doctor removes the foreign object to find it is a potato! That’s right—a potato. He holds it up to her and she was like 'Oh that’s right! I put that up there when I was on my period and I ran out of tampons. I forgot about that.'"


28. When they took the shampoo bottle out of her vagina, it made that suction noise because it was buried that deep into her.

"Had a teenage patient come in whose mom said she slipped and fell while showering, causing a shampoo bottle to go up her vagina. My brother said, ‘So you slipped in the bathtub causing you to do the splits and the bottle went inside of you?’ And she agreed.

Obviously she was masturbating with the shampoo bottle and it went too far inside. With the mom there my brother didn’t press much after cause she wanted to lie.

Regardless, he said when they took the bottle out of her it made that suction noise because it was buried that deep into her…"


29. A lady who fell. On an apple. Naked. It ended up in her vagina.

"I’m not a nurse but a well-known story from the hospital I work at (administrative job) is the story of a lady who fell. On an apple. Naked. It ended up in her vagina."


10 People Reveal The Dirty Details Of Their Most Shocking Sex Dreams

Posted: 11 Sep 2016 08:00 PM PDT

Shutterstock, Mayer George
Shutterstock, Mayer George

1. "I'm a vet and I love animals, but I've never thought of any single non-human creature in a sexual way. It really fucked me up a few weeks ago when I dreamt that I was sleeping with a goat. The worst part is, it wasn't just about the sex. I was legitimately in love with the thing. I caressed it and stuff. Gives me the creeps just retelling it, man." — Claus, 27

2. "In my weirdest dream of all time, I'm a door-to-door saleswoman, but I'm not peddling skincare products or fancy knives. I'm selling my virginity. I go from suburban town to suburban town, telling every guy I encounter that I've never been penetrated and that they can take my virginity for a cool $1,000. Literally every single guy accepts my offer and the dream-me gets high off of the deceipt, and of course the money." — Cheryl, 33

3. "My mom's an attractive older woman and my buddies have been riding me about it ever since I can remember. I swear it's their fault that I had this messed up dream the other night that my own mother and I had the hots for each other. She seduced me and I let her because all I wanted was to suck on her tits. I woke up crazy sweaty, sucking my thumb. Whack, man. Whack." — Carlyle, 29

4. "I've always been into a little light BDSM and in my craziest sex dream, I got straight up violent on my husband. I tied him up and blindfolded him and then I started spanking him with a ping pong paddle and flogging him with a series of torture devices I don't actually own in real life. He kept begging for more and I kept giving it to him, even though he was bleeding. I was covered in blood and so was he when I finally realized I'd accidentally killed him." — Hayley, 28

5. "I dreamt that I was swimming in an ocean of cum, riding the white sticky waves and taking gulps in as often as possible. After a few minutes of swimming, I head back to my towel on the beach dripping in milky white goo, smiling at my boyfriend who's just chilling there, watching me. Such an anti-feminist head trip. What's wrong with me???" — Martha, 31

6. "So it's the future, and my husband and I are super wealthy and we live in this lavish mansion and we each have our own sex slave that we can call on whenever we please for a little naked play. Sensual massages, oral, anal, you name it. Everything's on the menu, even good ol' fashioned missionary penetration. But one day my husband's having intercouse with his female robot, Kyla, when she short-circuits and somehow castrates him! Instead of calling the hospital or helping my poor hubby out, I decide it's a great opportunity to grab the baby and run away with my mechanical gigolo! I have NO idea what any of it means, and I'm not sure I want to." — Alina, 35

7. "I dreamt that I had a rocking body and I was this really successful stripper named Shandra who was known for breaking the 'champagne room rule'—for the right price. I was living it up, making serious bank. But one night I showed up to work dressed in my signature hot pink g-string bikini and everyone started plugging their noses as I walked by. For whatever reason, I suddenly had uncontrollable body odor and I couldn't shake it, no matter how many showers I took. It was the worst curse. I looked hot AF, but no one wanted to be anywhere near me." — Matilda, 32

8. "It's been ten years, and I still haven't gotten over my college sweetheart. She dumped my ass a month after graduation, when she met some 30-something banker who could take care of her, or whatever. They're married now with a kid on the way and I'm still living in my parent's basement. Anyway, I have this recurring dream that I'm fucking my ex from behind on the hood of my car and I'm feeling awesome—until I realize that she's on her phone the entire time, live Tweeting the entire experience, making fun of me with every thrust to her 10,000 followers." — Jared, 26

9. "I'm a twin and ever since my sister and I turned 16, guys have always taunted us about doing sex stuff. I guess the twin thing is a real fetish for some people. In my last dirty dream, my sister and I were out at the bar and some guy offered us each $500 to make out in front of everyone. We accepted the dare since we both needed the money, but as soon as we go for it, my face hits a mirror and I wake up, totally disgusted with myself." — Samantha, 22

10. "I'm back in high school and the girl of my dreams, Kate, this knockout theater chick who always wore braids on Wednesdays, randomly shows up at my house one summer night around 10pm. She's clearly bored and has nothing better to do but I don't care. She drives me to the town pool and tells me to break in so we can skinny dip. Then she makes me strip, and before undressing herself, she promises me a blowjob if I can prove how flexible I am by doing a backbend. I figure it's worth a shot, but I end up with my head literally stuck inside my ass and she just leans over and smirks as if she knew exactly what would happen and then she runs the hell away, laughing her ass off." — Bennett, 27 TC mark

Real Sex Stories book cover

Read more writing like this in Mélanie Berliet’s book Real Sex Stories That Will Make You Really Horny here.

What It Means To Be The Girl Who Always Loves ‘Too Much’

Posted: 11 Sep 2016 07:00 PM PDT


I've always been the type of girl who is too much. I give too much, care too much, and love too much.

I've got a big heart. I believe in big love.

And trust me, I've spent countless hours hating myself for it. Somehow being too much translated into not being enough. Giving too much, transformed into people taking more than they ever should have. When others couldn't handle me, I took the rejection personally, mistaking my overabundance of emotions and love as being inadequate.

Still to this day, I struggle trying to decide where to draw the line with others, battling with deciphering how much of myself I should feelingly give. I frequently contemplate if people are worth the effort, or if they will run the other way scared.

I hate to admit this, but lately, I've let this fear change me.

It turned me into someone I'm not, a version of myself which was unrecognizable. I bit my tongue. I hid my emotions. I pretended not to care. I'd gone stone cold.

I turned myself off.

At first, turning off my emotions made things a little easier. I found myself less stressed out and more at peace with the world. It was fun being the "cool-chill girl" who didn't give a shit about anything or anyone.

But with a few months time, I began to see changes occurring in all aspects of my life: my friendships, my performance at work, and my relationships. I felt so distant from my own world. I disconnected myself from everyone, and found myself alone. For the first time in years, I felt extremely lonely.

I caved and let the world change me, clearly for the worst.

Being the type of girl who is "too much" is hard. Rejection and disappointment come too easily for us. We feel everything a bit too much. Honestly, we can't help it, it's just who we are.

But, you know what?

Being the type of girl who doesn't care is even more difficult.

It becomes a lonely and dark place when you block out compassion and love. It's bone-wrenching cold down in the cell of isolation.

It's no place for a girl with too much of a heart.

So I'm here to say; don't be like me. Don't change yourself in the face of tough times. Never let the world cheat you from who you truly are, and certainly do not allow anything to turn your soft into something unrecognizable and hard.

Be the kind, thoughtful girl people always adore. Be the friend who others can rely on. Show up, and be the best, caring version of yourself.

Love without hesitations and regret. Let people in. Start allowing them to see your beautiful soul, and give people the chance to love you for who you really are.

Give everything you have, and never apologize for any of it. Say all the things you know you shouldn't. Show your emotions, cry if you must, and yell if you want. Care more than you probably should.

Mostly, stop hating yourself for being "too much", because at the end of the day, no one has the ability to label the amount of your being. No one has the power to place a meter on your worth.

Perhaps we're not too much, they're just too little.

Life is too short to be anything, or anyone but yourself. So, remain too much.

Care too much. Give too much. Love too much.

Embrace your big heart. Keep believing in big love.

Just be too much.

And never, ever change. Not even a little. TC mark

13 Guys On What Separates A Girl Who’s ‘Just A Hookup’ From One Who’s ‘Wife Material’

Posted: 11 Sep 2016 06:00 PM PDT

Zechariah Lee
Zechariah Lee

1. “If a girl kisses me on the first date, I think that’s sexy as hell that she is going for it without hesitation! What more could a guy want? Definitely wife material.” — Justin, 26

2. “If we hook up and I immediately want her out of my bed the next morning, it was just a hook up.” — Josh, 30

3. “When I hook up with a woman, I usually know where it’s headed. If she is only interested in the physical stuff, I won’t complain. But, if I meet someone who wants the physical stuff plus wants to get to know my emotional side? She’s a winner.” — Sean, 29

4. “This honestly depends on me. If I am too involved in work and myself, I’m not going to want anything serious. So, any girl I hookup with is ultimately just going to be a hookup.” — Stewart, 34

5. “All my life, I have never had a one night stand. If a girl respects this and doesn’t take offense to me not wanting to sleep with her right away, she is definetely girlfriend material, if not full on wife material.” — Danny, 25

6. “Once on a date, I got food poisoning from the lobster I had eaten. The girl I was on a date with didn’t even flinch. She took me to bed and took care of me that whole night. I married her two years later. If she had taken off, I never would’ve called her the next day.” — Rob, 38

7. “For me, the difference is easy. If I meet a girl and she is interested in what I have to say, she is already wife material. I’m not the best looking guy. I’m not the smartest. So, if someone shows interest in me, it’s rad.” — Aaron, 31

8. “If she can make me laugh till I am doubled over on the floor, she is completely wife material.” — Keith, 22

9. “If we hook up and she doesn’t reach out to me to hang out again, I know she was only in it for the hookup.” — Matt, 37

10. “If we have been hooking up for a while and have had little to no conversations about what we want or need, she is not ready to settle down. Period.” — Richard, 29

11. “If a woman is brave enough to tell me how she feels about me, then I would be a fool to not give it a try! It is rare for people to be so honest these days.” — Tom, 27

12. “Usually for me, if I have been seeing someone for awhile and she still has no interest in learning about my hobbies or meeting my family, then she’s out the door for me.” — Steven, 25

13. “I can tell straight away if someone wants a night of fun, or years of fun. If she seems interested in my opinions, and asks me questions about me, then she is in it for the long haul. I don’t have the patience for someone who will only hook up with me just for the heck of it. We aren’t in college anymore.” — Ryan, 29 TC mark

If You Actually Care About Her, Stop Going Back To Her

Posted: 11 Sep 2016 05:00 PM PDT

Derrick Freske
Derrick Freske

I've seen her cry a few times and whenever I asked why, it was always about you.

I've seen her smile a few times and whenever I asked why, it was always about you.

Her life is centered in a world both of you created. But she's more than an average girl who loves you unconditionally. She is unique, funny, beautiful, smart, and strong. She is a masterpiece.

I was there when you left her. She was vulnerable, helpless, and devastated. I've seen her during the lowest points of her life. There were times she wished she was the other girl, the one you’re with now, and other times when she just wanted to end her life. She spent months fighting with the demons inside of her head. She became a train wreck you unconsciously created. All she wanted was to be loved and to be appreciated by you. Was that too much to ask?

Yes, she made her own mistakes and had her own shortcomings. I'm not saying that she was the only victim here. I'm pretty sure she did something that triggered you to treat her in such a horrible way. It's not solely your fault. But if you really love her like you claimed you did, then stop coming back into her life and let her be happy without you.

Stop going back to her when things aren't going smoothly with the girl you chose over her. Stop going back to her when you feel empty. Stop going back to her for your own convenience. Stop going back to her when you're bored. Stop going back to her, telling you miss her, but then leaving her again. Stop going back to her, making her feel like trash.

Stop using her weakness against her, because no matter what she does, she will always choose you, because she loves you. But guess what? Being with you will only end with her being miserable again.

So, please, as her friend, I'm asking you to be man enough to help her. We both know she deserves better than everything you’ve put her through. If you two are meant to be together one day in the future when everything's finally on your side, then that's great. But, for now, please let her heal all of her wounds and bruises. Help her gain the self-respect, self-love, and self-worth she needs in order to recover, because right now, she's tired of everything. She's emotionally, physically, and mentally exhausted.

I hope your future daughter won't have to go through the same thing you put my best friend through. I hope you won't do the same thing to your new girlfriend. I hope you stop complicating such simple emotions. If you love someone, you love someone. If you don't, you don't.

It's all black and white. Gray is never an option. TC mark

You Deserve A Love That Doesn’t Leave

Posted: 11 Sep 2016 04:00 PM PDT

Vivien Liu
Vivien Liu

You deserve a love that doesn’t leave. We all do.

You see, the type of love that we all deserve is probably not one we have felt yet. And it is probably not one we have experienced. Yet.

You deserve a love that does not make you fear being let go of. You deserve a love that you feel all around you, regardless of when you are with them or not. You deserve a love that you know has the strength of steel. And even with all of the twists and turns life will hand out to you, it won’t ever split in half.

You deserve a love that is patient. That acknowledges your faults and imperfections. That knows when it is time to give you space. That is patient with your mistakes. And that doesn’t let silly fights rip you two apart.

You deserve a love that refuses to leave. That even when you are far apart from one another, that love will rise no matter what. You deserve a love that will reach out it’s hand to you, no matter what you have done or what you have said. You deserve a love that does not give up on you. Ever.

You deserve a love that will work for you two to become closer. This love will not lay stagnant in a dusty, empty room. The love you deserve is always present. Even when it’s hard to be, you deserve a love that does not lock you out of open communication. You deserve a love that does not turn away from your open heart, and you deserve a love that doesn’t reject a single ounce of who you are.

You deserve a love that is mighty. The kind of love that is stronger than anything you could come up with. You deserve love that is a fighter. The kind that will walk through a storm to get to you. The kind that will sacrifice themselves for you. The kind that will want to lift you up higher even if it drags them down.

You deserve a love that doesn’t pretend. This love will never hide anything from you, because they know you are worth more than a broken promise or a lie. You deserve a love that does not hide in the shadows from your greatness. You  deserve a love that makes you want to scream out, “I deserve this. I am worthy of this love. And I accept it”. You deserve a love that makes you recognize your strengths.

You deserve a love that doesn’t and wouldn’t ever dare leave. That never questions you. That never looks at other people and question if they are better than you. You deserve a love that doesn’t stray. You deserve the kind of love that always, always believes. TC mark

Never Be The Person Who Lets Things Go Unsaid

Posted: 11 Sep 2016 03:00 PM PDT

Will van Wingerden
Will van Wingerden

I want you to know.

Too often when someone we love, or even someone we just know, passes away, so many things go left unsaid to that person.

When someone passes, it’s traumatic. It’s confusing. It’s devestating. But, it brings our minds to that person and how much we cared about them or how much of an impact they had on our lives. It’s always so beautiful to read the heartfelt Facebook statuses or hear the meaningful conversations people have about that person and how much they meant to us or how much we admired them.

But, we wait until it’s too late. I see people saying things like “he changed my life” or “she probably doesn’t remember me but she helped me get through high school” and it’s touching and beautiful. We wait, however, until it’s too late to tell that person how they made us feel, what we thought about them, or how they impacted our lives. We say these things and of course they have meaning but how much more beautiful would it be if that person knew how much people cared? Did they know? Maybe they did, but we can make sure of it if we tell them how we feel now, while we can.

Too often we focus too much on ourselves to actually take the time and think about what others mean to us. So, think about it.

I’m sure there is someone out there right now that did something to make you feel better when you were feeling down, someone you want to know that you admire them, someone you think is beautiful. Whatever it is, say it now, before it’s too late. You honestly never know how long someone is going to be here and you should take every opportunity to lift people up and make them feel loved.

Make and impact on someone’s life by telling them how great you think they are so you don’t have to think later, “I wish she would have known how loved she was.” Call them now, even send a Facebook message if you might not be close friends.

Start by telling them, “I want you to know….” and let them know that you think they’re a fantastic mother, make them aware that they helped you get through a tough time, tell them how genuinely kind hearted you think they are and how much that inspires you, whatever you think, say it while you can. TC mark

I’m A Hopeless Romantic, But I’m Not Afraid To Be Alone

Posted: 11 Sep 2016 02:00 PM PDT

Elena Montemurro
Elena Montemurro

I’ve always craved a hefty amount of alone time. I ducked out of sleepovers early, usually complaining of a stomach ache or some other sort of ailment to justify why I called my mom to pick me up. It’s not that I wasn’t enjoying myself, I was, but I’d reach my limit. My energy would feel depleted and I’d know what I needed. I needed a break from people.

It’s not uncommon for those in my life to be confused by my talkative nature but undeniable introverted tendencies. It’s weird to them, how I can be “on” one minute, and secretly dying to go home the next. It’s always been a struggle – not wanting to hurt people’s feelings. Even the person I love the most is someone I need breaks from. And to borrow the oldest line in the book, it’s not them, it’s me. Because it is.

I love being alone.

It’s how I recharge. It’s the way I can collect my thoughts, my bursts of creative ideas. As an only child, I learned to enjoy my own company early on. I’ve never lost that ability. It’s something I feel lucky to have. I like who I am. I like sitting with just me.

But I’m also a big, ooey-gooey, hopeless romantic who would, to quote Meat Loaf, do anything for love. I would! Really! It’s an unpopular thing to say, but I consider myself to be a much better girlfriend than I am friend. I put everything into my romantic partnerships. I love to support who I’m with, to be the one cheering in the front row. Basically, I’m in love with love.

And so enters this strange dichotomy: my desire for partnership and love of solitude.

As a result, being single has never been scary to me.

Sure, there have been undeniably lonely moments. There have been times I’ve been nostalgic for relationships I once had, times I’ve questioned if I will have that again. I’ve ached for a pal to love and cherish and experience life with.

But I don’t fear a life on my own. I don’t see it as a failure. I see it as a beautiful opportunity to be with myself, to grow into who I will become. I get to have my space and remember how glorious that can be.

That doesn’t mean I’ve stopped wanting love. That doesn’t mean my fluttery heart has turned cold. That doesn’t mean I’ll ever give up on the thought of someone wonderful coming along.

For now, it’s me. And for now, that’s all I could ever need. TC mark

This Is The New Loneliness

Posted: 11 Sep 2016 01:00 PM PDT

Eugenio Marongiu
Eugenio Marongiu

It's a weekday evening and you're feeling restless. You're texting friends and you're watching Netflix and you're on your laptop and you're scrolling through Tumblr or Facebook or Instagram or Twitter. Your attention is in ten different directions, yet there's a tug, a tiny voice in the back of your mind. It asks: what are you distracting yourself from? You ignore. Scroll again. Click again.

You send a text: "Wanna hang tomorrow night?"

"Sure, I need to leave my apartment eventually, lol"

"L O L, me too, goddddd. Ok, let’s plan tomorrow"

Tomorrow rolls around.

"You know, can we maybe rain check on plans? I'm cozy!"

"YES, omg, I totally wanted to bail, too. PERFECT."

Then, you two text all night. Netflix on in the background. Computer on your lap. Scroll. Click. Scroll. Click. Refresh. Scroll. Click. Text.

Wait a second. What? How is this our new normal? What are we doing with our lives? Making plans with actual human beings and then canceling in favor of a screen, Netflix, gchat, bullshit, bullshit, bullshit. How is this okay? How are we accepting this?

How is this a life?

It’s not a life, actually. We cannot spend our days hunched over a screen forging a sense of human interaction. This is not what we were made for. I can guarantee all your best memories live within the moments with others. Where's your great memory with the internet? Is this really all there is now?

When you look back on your life, will you be happy by how much Netflix you've watched? Will you be happy about the graveyard of plans you let fall by the wayside? Will you be happy when you're surrounded by no one because we've all pushed each other away? Pushed and pushed and pushed and, in favor of what? What the hell are we pushing each other away for?

It's the weirdest thing: our generation. We're the least and most connected generation ever and yet if you spend some time on the internet, you see:

depression, undiagnosed, unchecked
anxiety, of the social variety
loneliness, rampant and unbelievable
sadness, like it’s a lifestyle
homebodies, like never leaving our apartments is healthy
introverts, like connection with other people is a bad thing
hate people! like it's cool…
cancel plans! like it's kind…
Netflix! like it's a human being…

Do people have true mental illnesses? God, yes. Of course! But this isn't about mental illness. People with diagnosable depression, anxiety, and other mental illnesses don't make a lifestyle of it. They don't make a home in those diseases. They frantically fight for their life, because they must. They get help. They furiously chase their happiness.

Our generation of sadness and loneliness is of the unchecked variety. Of wallowing. Of letting ourselves be disconnected from both others and ourselves. Learning to soothe more than heal. Learning to put a band-aid on problems instead of working through and solving our problems. If something is not immediate, we don’t want it, even if it’ll make us stronger. We’re not growing as people, not really. We’re shoving away “bad feelings” we don’t want to face by clicking, refreshing, scrolling until we’ve numbed ourselves out enough. It’s addiction.

Emotional strength is earned. It cannot be earned by self-distraction. And, that's what all of this is. DISTRACTION.

Distraction from ourselves.
Distraction from potential pain.
Distraction from our lives, those hopes, those dreams.
Distraction from vulnerability.
Distraction from compassion.
Distraction from kindness.
Distraction from… each other.

And, it is making us miserable. It really is. Take a look at your life. Take a look at how you spend your time. Are you happy? Do you have joy? When's the last time you sat in front of a computer screen for longer than 2-3 hours and walked away feeling joyous and energized? When's the last time a computer, a television screen, an iPad, a phone… made you feel alive? When's the last time you felt you were loved and taken care of and healed? When's the last time you felt strong?

We've taken it too far, that's what is problematic. The internet and these devices are not wholly unhealthy, but it's the obsession, the constant consumption, the way it breeds a lack of connection with real people. And, it does breed that.

Can all of this technology be great? Yes. But we're not using it that way. We’re being reckless. We’re acting like none of this matters, that how we spend our days is not how we spend our lives, but it all matters and how we spend our days is exactly how we spend our lives. It is. It just is.

I think we’re afraid, but that’s the whole point of life—that facing down our fears provides for a richer experience. We are not meant to circumvent the process of healing ourselves. We need to face who we are in order to be who we are. We cannot find true connection and true love and the purity of both of those experiences while spending our days not caring about others or ourselves. To not care is to be cool now? Pizza! Netflix! Do nothing all day! Sweatpants! Homebody! Introvert! Hahahahahahahahahah, we're all so sad and hate each other!

But, it’s not funny. None of this is.

This is your life. YOUR. LIFE. Do you get it? This is it. And you're fucking wasting it. Wake up. Life happens in a blink. Once it's gone, it's gone. Don't scroll, click, refresh it away. Be here, now. Show up. Care about shit. Care about others. Care about yourself. Be better than this. Let's all do it. And, if we all do it: maybe it'll be a fucking revolution. Finally.

I'm sick of this sadness. I'm sick of this loneliness. I'm sick of this disconnection from others. I'm so sick of it. Aren't you? TC mark

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