Thought Catalog

19 Men On The Single Sexiest Thing A Woman Could Do To Make Him Cum

Posted: 16 Sep 2016 10:00 PM PDT


1. “I want a nice, long blowjob. I feel like most girls want to get down and get it over with as quickly as they can–which I completely understand. I’m sure it hurts their jaw to be down there for a while, but… I like being teased. I like when it takes more than two minutes.” — Louis, 22

2. “Just get on top and ride me. I’m a simple man. Seeing a hot chick on my lap with her tits out is enough for me.” — Kris, 24

3. “A few years back, I dated a woman who loved anal and it was the hottest thing ever. I’ve been with other women who agreed to do it, but only to make me happy, and the lack of enthusiasm ruined it. I want you to want my cock in your ass.” — Will, 31

4. “Show up at my front step in heels and lingerie. I don’t care what color it is or what fabric or whatever. The fact that you’d do something like that for me is attractive.” — Freddie, 20

5. “I can’t get off unless my wife talks dirty to me. I want to hear her say how she loves my cock rubbing up against her clit and how she wants my semen dripping out of her lips. If it’s a lie, oh well. I still want to hear it.” — Danny, 27

6. “Masturbate in front of me. I don’t even need to touch you. Seeing you is hot enough.” — Alexander, 22

7. “I like being surprised. Not like, a finger-in-the-ass surprise. Like, surprised with toys or something. I like going into a girl’s room and then seeing her pull out a massive dildo for me to use on her or some porn for us to watch.” — Taylor, 23

8. “I’m a sucker for Zooey Deschanel. I don’t need a girl who looks exactly like her, but I’d love for my girlfriend to dress up like her in bed. Roleplaying is always fun.” — Chad, 26

9. “I want to have sex in front of a video camera. We could delete the footage right after. But knowing we’re being taped would be pretty damn sexy if you ask me.” — Craig, 21

10. “Bite me. Hard. Draw blood if you want to. It sounds fucked up, but I’d cum instantly.” — Matthew, 28

11. “Every girl I’ve been with has refused to bring food into bed, but I want to make a mess. Pour whipped cream on her nipples, draw on her with melted chocolate, and all that crap. We can always toss out the sheets.” — Justin, 25

12. “Do those Kegel exercise things while I’m inside of you. It makes your vagina grip down on my dick. It’s really fucking nice.” — Jesse, 23

13. “Say my name. It’s all I need to hear.” — Sam, 19

14. “I actually prefer it when I’m on top, so really, all she has to do is kiss me while I’m thrusting. And maybe lightly run her nails down my back.” — Andrew, 30

15. “I kind of like being blindfolded. My girlfriend once tied her scarf around my eyes and then rode me. Hot as hell.” — Sal, 22

16. “I want a girl to sit on my face while I jack myself off.” — Kevin, 20

17. “I like fucking in front of mirrors. And windows.” — Jordan, 24

18. “Quickies are great. I know girls usually need a while to warm up, and I’m all for that, but when they’re ready and raring to go? That’s the best. Makes me horny to know they’re horny.” — Paulie, 31

19. “I’m still a young guy. A hot girl could just look at me a certain way and I’d cum.” — Russell, 18 TC mark

The Difference Between A FWB And A Guy Who Secretly Wants To Be Your Boyfriend

Posted: 16 Sep 2016 08:00 PM PDT


FWB relationships are intended to be solely about filling each other's sexual needs. You generally talk minimally in order to ensure your feelings stay as far away from your sex filled relationship as possible. You make an agreement from the start that you're not there to comfort each other when it's 2 AM and you're lonely, but you will come over at 2 AM to hook up and leave.

But the line and boundaries drawn in a FWB relationship are never crystal clear. There are always some loopholes, whether it's one person (or both) falling for the one person they swore they'd only like sexually. It could be feelings, jealously, complications, or whatever your personal experience with your FWB turned out like.

Guys haven't always been known for having a way with words and expressing their feelings, but here are a few signs that might indicate he doesn't want to solely sleep with you, but he also wants to be a major part of your life.

1. He tries his best to act uninterested in your life, but always ask you about your day.

He is trying not to play like he's too into you, but he still looks for a genuine answer when he asks how your day was while you're lying in bed together.

2. He will bring up topics from the last time you saw each other.

If something happened at work that you brought up last time you were together, he will do a follow up question. He will try to slyly bring it in to the conversation like it just popped into his head, but he remembered what you said all along. He wants to try to fit into your personal life and built a relationship outside of sex.

3. He does random things like surprise you with a doughnut.

Remember how last time you were together and you said you really wanted a doughnut? No? Well he did. And when he gave it to you he said something like, "oh, I was just getting myself a coffee and I remembered you said you wanted a doughnut, so here." He purposely got you that doughnut because he wanted to do something nice for you.

4. He suggests sleeping over.

If all he’s after is a FWB relationship he really shouldn't suggest sleeping over, simply because that takes the whole ‘benefits’ thing to a whole other level (you'll, like, actually be sleeping together). If you think you're mature enough to have a FWB relationship you should be mature enough to realize that females tend to get attached and by having her sleep over you know that she will start thinking you want more. So just know if you're asking her to stay the night she isn't the only one who is starting to get hopeful.

5. He starts to ask if you want to do things with him.

He tries to keep it casual like going to a drive thru with him and he pay. Or him asking you to help him with some shopping because, you know, guys hate shopping. But it progresses and your relationship starts taking place outside the bedroom more and more frequently.

6. He asks you to go to family functions with him because, you know, his family is starting to question if he's gay, or whatever excuse people make.

He brings you to his cousins wedding or to a family BBQ or to meet the family for a special occasion. That's him showing interest in you, that's him showing a lot of interest in you in order to bring you around to introduce you to his whole family.

7. He confides in you.

He used to only talk about minimal things in his life, but the longer you've had your relationship going the more he trusts you. The time you used to talk about random things after you had sex, now turns into "pillow talk" and he confesses things to you he usually wouldn't tell others.

8. He brings you around to hang with his friends.

He suggests you should come to his friend's basketball game because their group always goes to watch, or he suggests you come to his friends house to watch a movie because it just came out on DVD. He still justifies why he's asking you, but he's still asking you and he's hoping his friends will give him some feedback on how cool you are.

9. He asks about the other men in your life.

First you think he might just be curios if you’re sleeping with anyone else, but he kind of doesn’t let it go. Or he will always make jokes about how you’re always hanging around ‘Derek or whatever his name is’.

10. He cares about you.

If you're having a bad day, he is there for you. He tries to make you laugh or will call you just to talk. He takes thing further than just being FWB. He shows you effort and tries to be in your life and build a deeper relationship than just FWB.

Men are simple species most of the time and more than likely when they say they just want to be FWB that's what they mean. They don't want to further the relationship, they don't want someone to hold hands with and go on dates with, they simply want someone who's got the same mindset and agreed to satisfy each other's needs in the bedroom. But things change, feelings are unpredictable and he might be one of the few who actually see something more than just sex with you.

I'm no expert, but those are all pretty good indications he wants to be more than FWB, he wants to be your boyfriend, and if you have the chat and he doesn't, send him packing because he's failed at giving mixed signals and you don't need that kind of negativity in your life. TC mark

Why All Porn Users Are Total Losers

Posted: 16 Sep 2016 07:00 PM PDT

Thank You For Loving Me, Despite Being My Biggest Heartbreak

Posted: 16 Sep 2016 06:00 PM PDT

I cried over you for months, I thought I'd never be able to pull myself back together after losing you. I sat in the dark screaming of how much I missed you, I drowned my sorrows into a bottle and kissed the lips of other's I didn't care about all to try to erase you from my memory. But as hard as I tried I realized no one could ever replace you because you can't replace true love.

You can't erase memories with a bottle. You can't forget their touch by fucking strangers.

You can miss them with every inch of your body, but that doesn’t mean they’re coming back.

I lost myself in the heartbreak I experienced from you, but years later I found myself again.

Years later I now realize what I was doing all that time, I realize I was trying to replace you. I was trying to find a new you and fill the wounds in my heart from you leaving by people who didn't care about me. I tried to replace you, but you can't replace who loved you. I wish I knew then what I know now because I would have saved myself a lot of trouble.

You were my biggest heartbreak, you partially destroyed me and I spent months, even years torturing myself over the loss of you because I never thought I’d be okay again.

But now I’m okay and I want to thank you, despite all the pain I felt.

You taught me what it felt like to be loved and to be wanted. You made me feel what it meant to be the center of someone's universe and you taught me about love and loss.

A lot of people in this world never get to experience true love, but because of you I'm lucky enough to say I have.

We were to young, to naïve and to dumb to realize just how much we still had left to discover about ourselves, but the years I spent with you by my side are years I've now began to cherish.

I don't miss you, per say, I think about you, but I don't cry over you anymore. I don't wish I was spending time with you and I don't ever feel an urge to call you to tell you exciting news. Instead I keep your memory near my heart, I keep it there when I feel alone in the world and I relish in the fact that despite everything I know what it feels like to have been loved in a world that can be so cold. I keep it in mind when I feel unlovable because you are proof that I am.

You loved me through my quirks, you loved me through the struggles we faced, you loved me through everything. You always stood up for me and you had my back no matter what.

You bet on me when I wouldn't even bet on myself, you believed in me when I had no faith left, and that’s what love is.

You put me first and made sure I was happy. You sacrificed repeatedly for me and emphasized the fact that what we had was real.

You taught me what love is, despite being the hardest break up I've ever had to go through, you taught me how wonderful love is. You taught me to open my heart, you taught me that people are good; you taught me it's okay to let someone care about me. You taught me what a relationship is all about so for that I thank you; I thank you because some people will never experience what we had. Even if it was for a fraction of my life I feel lucky enough to know what love is from you. TC mark

Here’s What You Need To Realize If Your Ex Moved On Quickly

Posted: 16 Sep 2016 05:00 PM PDT

Chloé Coislier
Chloé Coislier

That gut-wrenching moment when you find out your ex has moved on with someone else.

Whether they're seeing, sleeping with or in a full blown relationship with someone else, the pain of knowing that it's really over can be unbearable.

I think part of that pain is not being able to understand how they're able to move on so quickly. How can they just disregard us and go straight into something with someone else?

So obviously they didn't love us that much in the first place.

Maybe they were secretly seeing that person behind our back.

The relationship clearly didn't mean that much to them.

They found the break-up easy whilst we're still in pain.

All of these things can go through our minds because the thought of us being with anybody else just isn't an option. So how can they just hop onto Tinder in search of the next person whilst we're crying ourselves to sleep, resembling someone who looks possessed the next morning?

I think it's important to understand that all of the thoughts listed above, many times, aren't true. Just because someone has seemingly moved on quickly, it doesn't mean that they didn't love us or that they're over us or that the relationship didn't matter to them. Just think of all the stories you hear where someone has dated a guy/girl and it hasn't worked out because they were still hung up on their ex?

The thing is, often people go in hot pursuit of finding someone else because they think that will fill the void of being without their ex. It will fill the gap where the relationship was and will fix what they're feeling, which they can't handle or deal with alone. Even if the relationship ended for the right reasons and they don't want to be with you, moving on quickly doesn't mean they've forgotten you. It probably means that this is what they're using as a plaster/bandaid to temporarily heal that wound.

It's rare that you can meet someone when you're straight out of a relationship and be fully in that new relationship for the right reasons. That's not to say it doesn't happen, but in many cases, it's to fill that gap. Some people struggle to face being on their own and what that means. They want to know that they can still get someone else and instead of using the time to get over the break-up and focus on themselves, they jump straight into the thing that's going to give them the instant reassurance and confidence boost – dating someone else. And whilst doing that they'll be taking all of the stuff from the break-up over into that new dating scenario or relationship, which is a cocktail for a complete and utter car crash.

So if you are feeling crushed that you're sitting here alone and your ex is out with someone else and plastering pictures about their new amazing life on Facebook, just know that it can be a coping mechanism. People deal with break-ups very differently and just because on the surface it doesn't look like they're feeling anything, that likely isn't true.

But what matters here is you, not them. What matters, and what I try to focus on when coaching people through this stuff, is that you're setting yourself up SO MUCH BETTER by allowing yourself to feel this pain and kind of feel through it. Taking the time out alone and to be single is important because it helps you get over this break-up and everything that comes with that. It means that when you do want to go out dating again, you'll be starting fresh over (or as much as is possible) instead of taking all that crappy break-up residue along the way.

This isn't to say that you should now live in denial about the break-up and sit here waiting for your ex to stop dating other people, realise the error of their ways and beg you back. As I said before, the relationship probably is over. But just know that just because they're with someone else or going on a dating spree, it doesn't mean you have instantly been forgotten.

And if they are able to genuinely move on that quick, then the relationship clearly wasn't right for you either.

What's important is that you focus your time and attention on what you can do right NOW to move forward. TC mark

One Day I’ll Wake Up To The Sound Of Your Voice

Posted: 16 Sep 2016 04:00 PM PDT

H Influencer Collective / Alivia Latimer
H Influencer Collective / Alivia Latimer

One day it won't have to be like this, two people separated by distance and dreams.

One day I won't have to pick up a phone, just to hear you smile through the receiver.

One day I won't have to wonder. Wonder where you are or if you're happy. Wonder what little things are filling your days. Wonder if, in the middle of your shift, you find yourself thinking about me, wishing it was as easy as turning around and pulling me into your arms.

One day it won't be this complicated. We won't have to skirt around what we really want, acting disinterested, settling for less and pretending that this is the choice we made, the choice we agreed upon. And that we’re happy, miles and miles apart.

One day I won't have to ask you what you're thinking, then attempt to decipher the pause, the hesitation, the slight break in your voice as you tell me there's nothing wrong, and that nothing will ever come between us. Though I know something already has.

One day I won't have to picture your face or try to read it through the lens of a filtered camera, imagining what that expression is truly hiding, believing that you've let me go just because it's easier that way.

One day I won't be so far from you that I begin to forget the shape of your face, the little birthmark on your right cheekbone, the way your eyes squint when you smile.

One day I won't have to ask myself if I'll ever see you again. Because one day you'll be right in front of me.

And one day when I open my eyes, I'll see your arm wrapped around my middle, your hair wild and unruly against the pillow.

One day I'll roll over in the middle of the night and feel you shift next to me, pull me closer.

One day I'll laugh at something silly and lean across the center console of the car to show you, or kiss you good morning, or playfully shove you away from my side of the bathroom sink, or throw pillows at you, or steal all your caramel corn.

One day I'll take you to the top of the mountain I climbed, or down my favorite running path, or cook you the new pasta with fresh basil from the farmer's market and watch your face as you take the first bite.

One day I won't have to ask you what's on your mind because I'll see the creases in your forehead and know that you're worried. So I'll slip behind you and rub your shoulders, kiss your neck until you smile.

One day I won't feel so far away from you, in physically and mentally.

One day I'll feel your touch, your kiss, your arms around my middle.

One day I'll wake up to the sound of your voice, sweet like a melody in my head all day long.

One day you'll be with me, right here, right now.
And I won't have to wish for 'one day' anymore. TC mark

40 Micro Gestures Women Secretly Want Men To Do For Them Without Having To Ask

Posted: 16 Sep 2016 03:00 PM PDT

Grace Chung
Grace Chung

1. Forehead kisses.

2. Good morning texts.

3. Hand written notes to remind her that she is beautiful and badass.

4. Breakfast in bed.

5. Renting old black and white movies for her.

6. Spending a whole Sunday with her in bed.

7. Random steamy make out sessions on the dining room table.

8. Pouring another glass of wine for her. Just because.

9. Making the bed if she seems tense.

10. A night where you leave her alone to hang out with her girlfriends.

11. A bear hug after a long day.

12. Not asking to have sex every single night.

13. Surprising her with a homemade cooked meal after a particularly stressful month.

14. Giving her a heating pad without question.

15. Buying her tampons and pads without complaints.

16. Being ‘man’ enough to call yourself a feminist.

17. Standing up for her when your friends say you’re ‘whipped’.

18. Giving her a shoulder massage on a Tuesday afternoon.

19. Sing along to Taylor Swift with her, without cringing.

20. Take naps with her.

21. Stop being a backseat driver.

22. Amuse her by using those blackhead nose strips at the same time she does.

23. Watch ‘The Bachelor’ with her.

24. Tell her cheesy lines that are actually truthful.

25. Get to know her friends.

26. Tell her why your mom loves her.

27. Grab her hand when she wants to rush to work early.

28. Give her a wink every now and then.

29. Tell her she looks hot in her old sweatpants and with blemish cream on.

30. Hugging her from behind.

31. Tell her you love her in moments where she least expects it.

32. Hold her when she is crying from being so frustrated.

33. Never underestimate the power of flowers.

34. Watch ‘The Notebook’ with her and don’t complain.

35. Look her in the eyes when you’re in a crowded room.

36. Telling her all the reasons why you love her.

37. Telling her what you picture your future looking like with her.

38. Pulling her closer to your chest when you are cuddling.

39. Turning slow, sweet kisses into eager ones.

40. Giggling at her jokes even if you don’t think they are funny. TC mark

Please Do Not Love Quietly

Posted: 16 Sep 2016 02:00 PM PDT

Zechariah Lee
Zechariah Lee

I refuse to live my life terrified of looking desperate.

We live in a world that says that you should wait to call someone when they give you their phone number so you don’t look too desperate. That you shouldn’t text back too fast because you might seem too eager. I call bullshit on this notion.

If you have found a person that you think is magic, a person you don’t want to live without, a person who makes your life better and brighter- tell them.

My favorite feeling in the world is telling people that are in my life that I think they are wonderful, that I am glad they exist, that I need them, that I miss them, that I love them. I am more afraid of loving quietly, to have people silently wondering my feelings, than I am to look desperate.

We never really know how long we have on this earth. It is nice to make plans and to dream as if we will live forever, but the honest truth of it is that we never really know how long we have. I could be driving home tomorrow and someone could run a red light, and that could be it. I could leave behind all the people who I love, and leave them wondering how I really felt. While I would like to think I have a lot of time, decades and decades ahead of me, the truth is nobody really knows.

I am not about to waste whatever time that I have on this earth being too cool to care.

I don’t want anyone to love me quietly. I want love that loves back, and loves back without hesitation. Love that is daringly, wonderfully, beautifully bold. Because love is desperate. The love we all so desperately desire is a love that is not shy, a love that is loud and alive.

So why are we all so scared of looking like we care? The inner workings of our hearts was never meant to be taboo.

Real love, the kind of love that I want in my life, it doesn’t let you walk through life unsure. Real love is the love that cannot be silent. It cannot be denied. Real love is not scared of looking silly, of being vulnerable, of being honest. The next time you are wondering if you should send that text, or utter those three little words, or to show up with your heart in your hand, stop wondering. Stop overthinking. Do it. Let your love be loud.

Please be risky. Put your heart on the line. Be straightforward. Be bold and brave and share the love you have with the ones who deserve to know. Please do not love quietly. TC mark

15 Personality Traits That Strongly Predict Your Romantic Future

Posted: 16 Sep 2016 01:00 PM PDT

Love, particularly love that lasts, does not happen by chance. It happens for people who are ready to drop their illusions, commit, keep committing even when it’s the harder thing to do, and generally not need someone to save them from themselves. Love is a practice, and it’s success isn’t random. Here, 15 personality traits that can predict the quality of your romantic future:

1. You like yourself. Some research shows that for a romantic relationship to work, your “big 5” personality traits need to align. You have to like who you are as an individual, otherwise you’re not going to like the person who mirrors you.

2. You can respect others you don’t understand. You can acknowledge that other people’s feelings are valid, even if you haven’t had them yourself. In other words, you can practice empathy.

3. You base ideas on experiences, not assumptions. This is to say: you will pick a partner because you love to spend your days with them, not because you have checked off enough boxes and believe them to fit some description you made up about what your soulmate would be like.

4. You have a “growth” mindset. You believe that your life is about developing yourself, and because you look at everything that happens to you as feedback, you’re able to do the same in a relationship. It makes you better able to function in a relationship that will naturally change and evolve.

5. You can work even when you don’t “feel like it.” You don’t always need to be comfortable and happy to carry on, which is absolutely crucial when it comes to compromising and making a relationship work.

6. You can be present. Your mind isn’t always reaching for something else to look for, or another problem to fix. You’ve already begun doing the work of learning how to focus on what’s happening in front of you. So you’re able to actually fall in love – not fall in love with the idea of someone.

7. You have the grace to communicate your feelings, and the confidence to know they matter. You express what you want and need rather than suppress your true emotions and wait for them to explode some day. You can share what you want and how you think without it becoming a stress-inducing ordeal.

8. You’re independent. You see yourself as an individual first. Even better: you’ve lived on your own, or at least supported yourself in some capacity. When you develop sense of self first, you are no longer dependent on a relationship to make you who you are, or make you feel secure.

9. You’re more realistic than you are romantic. Ironically enough, a romantic outlook on life does not make a romantic relationship work – it’s realists who have an easier time accepting the dark sides of intimacy, and then being more grateful and present for the lighter ones, too.

10. You have standards, not expectations. The difference is that a standard is being able to determine what’s acceptable vs. what’s not. An expectation is the idea that something will turn out exactly as you imagine or desire.

11. You have goals for your life that you desire just as much as you do a romantic relationship.

12. You aren’t a perfectionist, which is to say that you don’t believe you can earn or guarantee love by eliminating “risk factors.” You see love for what it is: a genuine exchange, most profoundly given between two imperfect people, in spite of those imperfections.

13. You can confront the pain of your past. If you can’t let yourself feel pain, you will also be unable to feel love. It’s not an either/or kind of thing. To be avoidant of one is to also avoid the other.

14. You are willing to be wrong. You know you don’t know what you don’t know (read that twice-over). This one is probably self-explanatory in terms of a relationship, but what it also indicates is that you’re willing to grow.

15. You don’t think the world owes you anything. You believe that a soul mate relationship is something you build more than it is something you “find.” You know you have to work for what you want to have and keep. This is the attitude that tends to keep people around, because you don’t take them for granted. TC mark

Read This If You Still Miss Him

Posted: 16 Sep 2016 12:00 PM PDT

Caden Crawford
Caden Crawford

That’s the worse thing about missing someone.

You can be in the happiest place right now, glowing with blissful joy, but you cannot appreciate it or be able to. Because instead of celebrating your moment, instead of joining the lively conversations and bustling activities around you, you are miles away with him. Replaying what happened for the thousandth times. Dreaming of being back in his arms. And if you could bring yourself to admit it, how you would trade everything you have just to have him back.

Or you can hit a rough path and nothing goes right. Instead of refocusing your attention to build yourself up, to rectify your mistakes, and to come back stronger than before, you feel that nothing matters.

Not even the bad aftertaste of defeat. Not the humiliation of falling flat on the concrete pavement so loud you thought you hear your jaw crack. Not the fear of falling so deeply into the bottomless pit of failure that you fear you can ever crawl out.

No, for nothing matters without him. He is the reason for the joy in your eyes, the smile on your face, the lightness in your steps, the love in your heart.

Like the craft master, he assembles your misfit and haphazard pieces into one that tells a story. Like the novelist, he is the pulse of your universe as he arranges the sequence of past events to make sure that your story flows. Like the doctor, he heals the broken and fragmented parts of you into one that is as good as new.

Like the lover, he promises to love every inch of you to eternity and beyond.

But guess what, he is not real.

The him that you are so absorbed with does not exist. You are in love with the idea of him. The promises not reality. The potential not his true self. The imaginary idea that he is all you want and you will not find another like him.

Because if he was real, he would be with you right now. You would not be here missing him.

There is a reason why it did not work out with him. Perhaps he chose to end it or you decided to call it quits. It might seem like a good idea then but now you are having second thought. Did you do the right thing? Maybe you should have tried harder.

Don’t blame yourself for walking away. As hard as it is to see it now, you did the right thing. For love itself is uncertain enough. You need someone who is one hundred percent absolutely sure of you. Not the halfhearted efforts, the confusing actions, and the fickle-minded ways his mind changes like the seasons.

When his only certainty is that he is unable to love you the amount, the extent, and the way you need to. Then, and only then, is he the one. TC mark