Thought Catalog


Why You Shouldn’t Apologize For Being Emotional And How To Embrace It

Posted: 01 Sep 2016 08:45 PM PDT

 Milada Vigerova
Milada Vigerova

"You are so sensitive. Geez!"

"Stop being so emotional! Stop crying already. It is just a dog!"

These are, inter alia, the animadversions thrown at me whenever I release my bottled-up emotions.  Subsequently, I stopped being emotional and all my emotions started to pent up and that was when I felt like the planet earth seemed like a dark place.  As a consequence, I started hating everybody.

I was afraid of being judged for being my emotional self as given the nature of my job, being a professional, we are portrayed as fearless, emotionless and incorrigible.

"but no one will understand me"

You do not need people to understand the chaotic emotions you are experiencing.  Do not apologize for shedding a few tears.  Do not try to explain.  Cry as much as you need to.  It does not make your problems wither away but it helps you to feel better about yourself.  We are human after all. 

In the words of Captain Kirk in Star Trek "We humans are full of unpredictable emotions that logic alone cannot solve" and that is why, in my opinion, the emotional Kirk makes the best Star Trek Captain.

In this article, I am not going to write 1001 ways on how to make yourself emotionally numb.  One of the reasons why I am writing this article is because contrary to popular belief, we are on our quests to embrace our emotional selves.

A good support system.

Growing up, I have only seen my mother cry a handful of time.  I begged her to try to get into the root of my tohubohu soul but to no avail.  Thereafter, I apologized for being emotional.  I tried to replicate my mother’s  emotional walls but I realized it has taken its toll on me – I became more bitter and angry.  That was when I realized repressing my emotions is hazardous to my mental health.

Different people have different ways of dealing with emotions.  You just need a good support system preferably someone who is on the same par as you, emotionally.

Someone who would tell you that it is alright to feel what you are feeling and would be there for you if you need a shoulder to lean on. 

Someone who is very dear to me wrote – please vent to me when these things happen.  It is good to let it out and I want you at maximum happiness.

That was when I realized that the planet earth is not that dark after all.

Channel your emotions into something else.

Before my ACL injury, I was very much involved in Capoeira.  Capoeira is all about emotional expressions.  You get to play instruments, sing and let your emotions flow unhindered and translate it into movements and and no one is going to judge you for being you.

Alternatively, when I feel uncomfortable talking to people about my emotions, I would go for a trip to my happy place, Tip of Borneo (3 hours drive from the place I live) and just blend in with nature.  Paddling at the point where the South China Sea meets Sulu Sea is immensely therapeutical.  It is one of my conduits to emotional release.

Emotional people are unusually creative.

I was never a painter but when my emotions get overwhelmed, I would translate my emotions into arts and writing. My paintings are probably not good enough to be sold but seeing my string of paintings keeps my emotions in check.

And I do write poems..sometimes.  Those poems are the products of being my emotional self.

We get to connect with other people on a deeper level.

Because we dare to share our flaws and empathy with another person. We tend to go beyond the surface and delve into the feelings behind the surface.   This is vital in developing meaningful relationship.   We can’t connect with another person based on "a dazzling display of logics".  The emotional people go into the root of the souls and connect emotionally.

The moral of the story is don’t apologize for being emotional. 

Embrace it.  TC mark

21 Simple Sex Moves That Will Make Him Crave You Even More

Posted: 01 Sep 2016 08:00 PM PDT

Yana Toyber
Yana Toyber

1.

Make eye contact. When you’re going down on him, when he’s on top, when you’re doing it doggie style turn around. Eye contact lets him know how invested you are, and how hot you think it is that he’s the one you’re fucking specifically.

2.

Be vocal. Moan, say his name, dirty talk. He’s not going to know you like something unless you make it known.

3.

Be active. No one likes having sex with someone who just wants to lie there. That’s boring.

4.

Get on top. Too many people settle for missionary these days. Get on top of him and ride him.

5.

While on top don’t just move up and down. Grind on him, move your hips in circles. Change up your direction and watch him lose him self to the different sensations.

6.

Don’t forget about your hands. Trace his body with your fingers, hold down his arms when you’re on top, tangle your hands in his hair.

7.

Experiment. Have sex in different places, in different positions. Don’t get stuck in a rut.

8.

Ask him what he wants, what feels the best for him. Then do it. And don’t just blow him because it’s his birthday. Do it because you both deserve hot sex and crazy orgasms.

9.

Bring up sex when you’re both away from each other. Send him dirty snaps, naughty texts, little tidbits of want you want him to do to you. Be on his mind at all times.

10.

Be enthusiastic about sex. It’s obvious when someone is just going through the motions, and when they’re actually excited and into what they’re doing. Turn him on by being turned on.

11.

Figure out what part of your body is his favorite and pick positions that highlight it. Cowgirl for your boobs, reverse cowgirl for your ass, standing while grabbing your ankles for your back, kneeling together for your hair. It’ll be fun for him and make you feel extra hot knowing that he’s getting a visual like none other.

12.

Tell him when you’re about to cum. There’s nothing quite as exciting as knowing you’re about to get someone else off.

13.

Find the things that make you feel the sexiest, you feel the hottest, and do them for you. Seeing you wearing lingerie on a Monday, savoring a bubble bath on a Thursday, and really just feelin’ yourself? That’s super attractive and memorable.

14.

Masturbate together. Not only can it be crazy foreplay, but it helps know how to get the other person to climax. It’s educational and hot!

15.

Dirty talk dirty talk dirty talk. There’s not enough emphasis in the world put on how ridiculously arousing it is to hear what someone wants to do to you, or what they’re thinking while they have you inside them. A girl who dirty talks is always on someone’s mind.

16.

Make sure to pay attention to his balls. They’re often neglected.

17.

Nibble on his lips when you’re kissing him. It’s a sign you’re actually hungry for what he’s about to do to you.

18.

Don’t run to the shower or bathroom directly after. Savor each other, linger. Soak each other up as much as you can even when you aren’t in the actual act.

19.

Don’t be afraid to touch yourself or guide him to your clit or your nipples or wherever you need a little extra attention. It’s helpful and really hot to know someone wants to cum.

20.

Eight little words: “What do you want to do to me?” Say them and then let him do them.

21.

Over all? Just communicate. Be the girl who is unafraid to ask for what she wants and give her partner what they want. That’s how you have the best sex. It just is. TC mark

It Costs So Very Little To Be Kind

Posted: 01 Sep 2016 07:00 PM PDT

Flickr, Kenneth Lu
Flickr, Kenneth Lu

On my birthday I went to the grocery store with my husband. We were having a good time, picking up special snacks for the evening of Netflix ahead of us and cracking jokes. Everything was going smoothly until we approached the checkout lane. Apparently, ahead of us, someone had started checking out and then left the lane to grab one last item. Another shopper maneuvered her cart into the lane just as the other woman returned.

“Oh,” she said, “sorry, I was already checking out, my stuff is on the belt.”

No big deal, right? Well, not according to the shopper. She began grumbling something under her breath as she pulled her cart out. Awkward enough, until the other woman suddenly barked:

“Excuse me, ma’am? EXCUSE ME, MA’AM?”

“I can check out WHEREVER I WANT TO,” the shopper spat, then promptly left for another lane. Meanwhile, my husband and I stood there, incredibly uncomfortable.

The whole exchange upset me on a deeper level. It wasn’t just that it was petty and weird, more that it could’ve all been avoided with an ounce of kindness from either of the parties involved. A little bit of understanding. What’s the point of putting out more ugliness into a world already full of ugliness?

I have a challenge for you: the next time you venture into the world, try to put forth only kindness.

I’ll give you an example: I take a lot of Ubers. That means I come into contact with a lot of Uber drivers (obviously.) Sometimes they want to talk, sometimes they don’t. In any case, I try to be open and friendly. I try to make a connection. I feel that in this life, we don’t make enough connections, so I try to change that. The last Uber ride I took showed me how important this can be.

On a round-trip adventure to grab some food for the evening, I was picked up by a very nice, soft-spoken Middle Eastern man named Muhammed. I put out feelers, trying to see if he was interested in talking, but he seemed sort of shy. At some point I mentioned that Uber drivers are always very nice and it makes the traveling experience much more pleasant. He responded, “They are probably nice because you are nice.”

Sure, a good fluff to my ego, but it opened him up more too so we continued talking. I can’t remember what all we covered — I know we discussed his move to St. Louis, his brother, the phenomenon of Pokemon Go — and when I got to the restaurant he insisted on waiting for me so he could take me home. I warned him it could be up to 30 minutes but he promised to stay.

We talked the whole way back and his enthusiasm only grew. By the time he dropped me off I felt like this was the first good conversation he’d had in a while — at least, I hoped I’d added something good to his day.

I started to get out of the car and he told me, “Thank you for talking to me. I’ve been in St. Louis for six months and you are the first nice passenger I’ve ever had.”

That was a wonderful compliment but to me, it spoke more to the fact that he’s been driving people around town for six months and I may have been the first person who actually took the time to speak to him as a person. And do you know how much effort it took on my part? Almost none. I just talked to him. A ride that might have been 15 minutes of silence turned into something that not only improved his day but mine as well.

This whole thing probably stinks of #humblebrag but it’s not what I’m going for. In all honesty, I’m not sure exactly what I’m trying to accomplish here. I just know that kindness is something that can be very easy to take for granted or, even worse, neglect. Over the past year I’ve learned to trust my instincts and my gut tells me this is a message some people could stand to hear right now.

So just keep this in mind: there is so much you can do, so easily, to project kindness into the world. Give it a shot. You won’t regret it. TC mark

Here’s Your Reminder That Things Are Going To Be Okay

Posted: 01 Sep 2016 06:15 PM PDT

Wendelin Jacober
Wendelin Jacober

Three months ago, my best friend got in an accident that left her with bruises, cuts, sprains, torn muscles, trauma, broken ribs, and two broken legs.

Today she made her way across the hospital floor with a walker.

As I watched her, my heart, my face, my entire soul beamed with pride. "That's my best friend," I said to anyone who passed us by, "Look at her."

As I walked next to her, slowly, watching her feet take small steps and watching her smile at the nurses and hospital staff, I realized something that is so heartbreaking and beautiful it's difficult to put into words—life really is about the little things.

Life is about picking yourself up when you fall. It's about learning to smile when smiling feels like the hardest thing you can do. It's about focusing on what you can do, on what you have, on what is good rather than bad.

It's having two broken legs, a banged up body, an arm that can't move, and a head that's pounding, and saying, "Well, at least I can still talk."

My best friend reminded me that things will be okay. They won't always be the same; they won't always be easy, but somehow and some way they will turn out alright in the end.

Suffering is a natural part of our lives. We lose loved ones, we get hurt, we fall down, we watch others destroy themselves, we see disasters and rape and death and pain and fear—and yet, we somehow find the strength to carry on. That's incredible. That's so often underestimated. That's so often overlooked.

A man stopped my friend, as we walked the outside perimeter of her hospital. He handed her a card and smiled at her, thanked her for changing his life.

"Remember," he said, "what's the only constant in life?"

I smiled, knowing his answer already.

"Change."

He wished her good luck on her journey and stepped through the hospital doors. I found myself wanting to cry just by the sheer wonder of it all—how strangers can feel like family, how tiny moments can change your heart, how we meet people who shift our lives in ways we never imagined.

And how he was right, change really is the only thing we can count on.

Change, in the ways that things will get harder. Change in the way things will get better. Change in the way things will always be changing and that's a part of life where we have to grab ahold of, then take a deep breath, hold on, and let go, all in balance.

As I watched my best friend take her first steps, smile with such pride at how far she's come, and see the world in a new way, it made me slow down. It made me remember that things, no matter how awful and frustrating and scary they are, will always be okay.

You learn to guide new leg muscles into walking motion. You learn how to battle life without a spouse, significant other, friend, or sibling. You learn to move on after a break up. You learn to love people after pain. You learn how to push forward when you're feeling defeated.

You learn to be okay in this crazy world.
And you will be. You will be okay. TC mark

Frank Ocean Has Some Excellent Advice For Your Next Relationship

Posted: 01 Sep 2016 06:08 PM PDT

Buy on Apple Music
Buy on Apple Music

If you haven’t been listening to Blonde, Frank Ocean’s 17-track whopper of a follow-up to 2012’s Channel Orange, drop everything and get your ass over to Apple Music (or here). With sexually frank lyrics (“No trees to blow through, but blow me and I’ll owe you two grams and a sunrise”), this thing is epic. And that’s to say nothing of his separate, mesmerizing visual album Endless, the music video for “Nikes” or the Boys Don’t Cry zine, all released this past weekend.

Aside from beautiful, breathy vocals, innovative sounds and the most fabulous back-up singer of all time (Beyoncé! See below!), Blonde has something powerful to say about your relationship, too.

You pump to the club and meet someone you want to boyfriend and you’re all texting your friends that he’s like so totally hot and epic and the first thing you do is add him on Facebook. IF YOU’RE NOT FRIENDS ON FACEBOOK IT ISN’T REAL LOVE. lol jk, but who doesn’t smile knowing that someone you think you want to be with just commented or pinned a heart next to your status or profile pic?

But all that’s glitter isn’t gold. Being Facebook friends with someone you’re dating or even hope to date can be a complete disaster, too, especially if everything goes tits up in the end.

One of the high moments on Blonde is “Facebook Story,” an interlude narrated by French producer SebastiAn about how his relationship fell apart because he wouldn’t add his then girlfriend on Facebook. Isn’t that silly!

Facebook Story

I was just telling that I got this girl before
And I was together since 3 years
And uhh, I was not even cheating her or what
And Facebook arrived and uhh she wanted me to accept her on Facebook
And I don’t want it because I was like in front of her
And she told me like “Accept me on Facebook”
It was virtual, means no sense
So I say “I’m in front of you, I don’t need to accept you on Facebook”
She started to be crazy
She thought that because I didn’t accept her
She thought I was cheating
She told me like, uh, “it’s over”
I can’t believe you
I said “come on you’re crazy” because like yeah
I’m in front of you, I’m every day
Here in your house
That’s, it means like it’s jealousy
Pure jealousy for nothing
You know
Virtual thing

She thought he was cheating because he wouldn’t add her on Facebook. Super dumb, yet also v real. So much of how we value ourselves and our relationships comes from Facebook. And if this interlude doesn’t dig into the heart of the troubles of the modern day relationship, I don’t know what does.

So there you have it, folks. Facebook is killing your relationships!TC mark

10 Fun, Cheap Date Nights You Can Have At Home (That Aren’t Netflix)

Posted: 01 Sep 2016 04:00 PM PDT

@robinbobin
@robinbobin

How often have I babbled on about the importance of keeping the romance alive in your relationship? I'm not trying to be annoying or repetitive, but it is important! I am a firm believer that religiously practicing date night on a regular basis is crucial to relationship health. Let me be mores specific. I'm not talking about a double or triple date where the conversation is flying six different ways. I do love those group dates with my favorite couples, but I am talking about the importance of one-on-one dates with your boo. Setting aside quality time to spend with your hubby with no distractions is like an "apple a day" for your relationship.

To keep these date nights interesting, you'll want to mix it up and try new things. Obviously, date night has the potential of becoming a very expensive activity. Try hitting up Groupon and Living Social for not only cheap dates, but dates you would have never thought of yourself, like flying trapeze classes or a painting class at a local bar. But for those of us that aren't rolling in the dough, these internet deals can still be a splurge. Don't worry, I am here to tell you that you can still have a date night every two weeks (or once a month, whichever you fancy) at home and on a budget. Here are some creative ways to make your date night romantic, entertaining, and low cost.

1. Living Room Camping

This is one has sentimental value to me. When my fiancé and I first started dating I was going through a rough time in generally and the bad days at work didn't help. When I'd had a particularly crappy day, I would come home to find a good old fashioned fort in the living room. The outside was made with sheets and furniture; inside he made a comfortable cushioned floor using pillows and comforters. We would take refuge inside the fort and forget about all of our problems. Don't knock it until you try it! Use your fireplace or some candles as a mock campfire, roast some marshmallows and tell ghost stories. How does that not sound like a good time?

2. Outdoor Dining

If you've got a nice or even just a clean backyard, use it! Set up a small table for two outside complete with candles and a bottle of wine. Put on some nice background music and have a good old fashioned backyard dinner. It's very romantic. Unlike eating on patio of a restaurant with twenty other couples sharing your moment, this makes for a very private and intimate setting. Think your backyard or patio doesn't have the ambiance needed for outdoor dining? An easy fix is to hang cheap outdoor lights. It's amazing how one detail can work wonders on setting the mood.

3. Boudoir Photo Shoot

Okay, so if you are a little more on the reserved side (cough, prude, cough), this one may not be your cup of tea, but hear me out before you rule it out completely. Date night is supposed to be all out coming together with your significant other and getting intimate. I think this is pretty intimate, not to mention fun for all parties involved. Start by choosing a designated back drop like a free wall, a hanging sheet, the bed, etc. Pick a few different pieces of lingerie to change into. Give your guy a camera (prob best if it's not a camera phone, don't want these pictures accidentally getting posted on Facebook or Instagram), and let him take control of the photo shoot. You're the model, he is the director. Enjoy (insert winky face here).

4. Wine Tasting

If you and your guy are wine-os, you'll love this one. Use your kitchen table, bar, or coffee table. Set out a few different bottles of wine and glasses. Make sure to set out some food that pairs well with what you'll be drinking, think cheeses, veggies, bread, etc. No food equals getting drunk way too fast, passing out early, and a nasty hangover. That being said, take your time as you would if you were in Napa on a rustic vineyard. Swirl, sniff, sip, and then discuss your opinions on flavor and stuff. Obviously I am not well educated on wine specifics, but you don't have to be to enjoy this. It's just you and your boo, no wine snobs to make you feel dumb. If you are a wine snob, great! You'll have fun with this one too and there won't be any amateurs to slow down your night. Remember to light some candles and put on background music!

5. Game Night

Game night can go one of three ways and I'll leave it up to you to try one or all three. The first is nostalgia game night. Choose your favorite childhood board games (mine are Candy Land and Operation) and laugh at the memories over a bottle of wine or your favorite beer. The second is adult game night. This includes a more grown up version with games like Cards Against Humanity. The third is x-rated game night. Go to your local sex shop or search online for an intimate adult game. There are tons to choose from involving blind folds, melted chocolate, and roll of the body part dice. Whether you choose PG, x-rated, or all three, game night with your handsome babe is sure to be loads of fun.

6. Project/Craft Night

With all of the hours we spend pinning cool crafts on Pinterest, this option seems very appealing. But please, for the love of god, do not make your significant other do something he will hate like knitting or scrap-booking. Choose a house project you've been meaning to get around to or a fun project you can both be involved in. Make sure this is an activity that interests BOTH of you, not just you and not just him. You'll also make sure this is something that is more fun than it is hard work, remember you are doing this as a date. Order a pizza or take out and of course you can add alcohol to the mix if you fancy. Put on your favorite Pandora station and get to work. My man and I did this as a date night with a painting I had seen on Pinterest. It was a hand painting in which each family member's hand was in a different color and the prints were all over the canvas, overlapping each other. It looked really cool, so we tried it and of course included the dogs. It was interesting night to say the least, dogs and paint can get messy. No matter, now we have a somewhat decent piece of handmade art to hang in our home.

7. Karaoke

Yes, Blake and I have done this and it was so much fun! We didn't plan on it, it just happened. We started one night with tacos and margaritas, an hour later we were taking turns on the Play Station 3 mic and singing our little hearts out. A bit of heads up, this may not be the greatest idea if you have close proximity neighbors who don't like crappy singing and loud music. If you can, do this! Such a great way to let loose with the one you love. Not into singing? No problem, make it a dance party instead. I'm not a video game person, not in the slightest, but karaoke and dancing games are perfect for this. We have "Sing Star" and "Just Dance" for Play Station. If you don't have these games but want to try them, check your local rental store or RedBox. You won't regret this one!

8. Spa Session

I know what you're thinking, "my manly man won't even get in a bubble bath". First of all, that sucks for him. Second of all, he will end up truly enjoying this one if he approaches it with an open mind. Okay ladies, don't torture your men! No tweezing, waxing, or anything else that is painful and/or will change his appearance. That's how you'll send him running and screaming out of the bathroom. Instead, make this a relaxation effort, not a make over. Run a warm bubble bath with salts and scented oils. While you're waiting for the tub to fill, start with a face mask. I like the warming ones, they immediately send my mind into relaxation mode. Help your beau apply and rinse off his mask. Slip into the tub together and just relax and talk. For added romance, carefully place a few candles safely around the tub and bring a glass of wine for each of you. Just don't get so relaxed that you fall asleep, because after the tub you'll want to move it into the bedroom and take turns giving each other back massages. Stop by a body shop like Bath & Body Works for some aromatherapy massage oil. Best spa session ever.

9. Cooking Class

I know I said "in home" and I meant it. When I say "cooking class" I don't mean attending an actual cooking class, I mean doing your own cooking class with just the two of you. Find a recipe from a cooking magazine, book, or show that sounds delish to both of you but neither have any experience with cooking such a dish. You will work together, sharing the tasks at hand. And I mean for you to cook an actual gourmet meal, not Mac & Cheese from a box, no matter how much you crave it sometimes. This is your date night activity, so have some fun with it. Put on your aprons and help each other chop, season, and stir the ingredients. When you've completed your edible masterpiece, it's time to dig in. Sit down to a table set for two and cheers each other to your cooking accomplishment.

10. Star Gazing

It's back outside for this date night. Sometimes all you need is star-filled night sky to add that little extra bit of romance. If you have a cozy backyard (and ideally a fire pit to keep you warm), take a thermos filled with hot cocoa or spiked cider, a blanket, and your loved one to do some star gazing. Do some research before hand and make a game of trying to spot certain constellations. If you have a stable flat roof, set up some lawn chairs and enjoy the view from up there. Be careful getting on and off your roof! No back yard or accessible roof? Take a stroll down to your local park. Odds are, it will be deserted after dark and the jungle gym style toys make for great seats.

No matter what you choose to do on your date nights, make sure you are focused on each other. Make it about you two and nothing else. Hopefully I've inspired you to try something new with your partner in crime. Maybe one of these unique date nights will start a spark and you'll be truly glad you branched out. If nothing else, simply relish in the company of your loved one. TC mark

17 Ways Lazy Girls Fake Having Their Shit Together

Posted: 01 Sep 2016 03:00 PM PDT

 Elliott Dunning

Elliott Dunning

I’m one of those lazy girls that constantly floats between wearing glasses and sweatpants, to the whole nine yards with killer heels and a little black dress. But, most of the time (all the time), I’d rather not really try. I have come to find that, none of us really have to try so hard to seem like we know what we’re doing. It’s easier than it seems.

1. Throw your hair up in a messy bun. No matter your hair texture, or how badly the ends of your strands look, you can always put it up and spray with a bit of hairspray to make sure it lasts all day.

2. Sunglasses. They hide tired eyes, puffy eyes, hangovers, and blemishes. They are truly the best accessory. You don’t even need make-up.

3. Starbucks. I don’t care if you despise it, but carrying around a Starbucks cup in your hand makes you look SO darn fancy.

4. Wine. Display wine bottles all over your place. Collect the corks to display on your coffee table. Basically, wine will always be the answer. No matter what.

5LaCroix Water. I probably will never be able to pronounce it, but when you pull one out of your bag, you will look fancy as f*ck.

6. Throw on a dress. Honestly, why even bother putting on pants anymore?

7. Always order the biggest plate of pasta you can. Literally, everyone else with their pathetic salads are going to stare at you with envy. #winning. #alwayssayyestopasta.

8. Save old selfies. Whenever you feel on ‘fleek’, take a picture. On the days when you are lying in bed with nothing to do, post one of those old but HOT pictures of yourself. Likes guaranteed.

9. Google pictures of the gym. Then, post some believable ones on your snapchat. Keep ‘slaying’ in bed.

10. If you must go out, don’t forget your ‘medicine’. Now, when you want to leave early to a gathering, show your friends your ‘antibiotics’ that the doctor prescribed for you. You are free to go, and in the clear.

11. Fairy lights. So, you don’t feel like vacuuming or cleaning your apartment up at all? Not a problem. Buy some cute lights, hang them up, and your friends won’t even notice the disaster that is right in from of them.

12. Adult coloring books. Some may say you’re lazy for not going out on a Friday night, I say you are relaxing your mind with some good old fashioned fun (and alcohol).

13. Make up your bed. No matter how messy and disgusting your bedroom is, making up your bed will always make you look like you are on top of things.

14. Always have gum on hand. Sometimes, you forget to brush your teeth while you were in a rush to get work. What does the job? Gum. Sometimes, you have a really bad hangover and brushing your teeth isn’t cutting it. What does the job? Gum.

15. Dry shampoo. We all don’t have time to wash our hair every single day. Meet dry shampoo: your new best friend. It gets rid of excess oil and makes it look like you actually tried (for once).

16. Fake plants. I don’t know what it is about plants, but they are really hard to take care of (or it’s just me). Solution? Fake flowers, fake hydrangeas, and fake succulents will make you seem like the queen of having your shit together.

17. When all else fails, stop giving a crap. Pay no mind to the people who try to put you down. Embrace your laziness. Embrace who you are. You’re freaking awesome. TC mark

Dear Period: Why Do You Love Hurting Me?

Posted: 01 Sep 2016 02:00 PM PDT

Thought.is
Thought.is

We’ve been together for a long time now. When we first met, I was T-H-R-I-L-L-E-D. Having you meant something huge for me – it meant I was shedding my little girl identity. I finally understood what Aretha Franklin was singing about, you DID make me feel like a natural woman!

But our honeymoon phase quickly passed. The excitement dulled and shooting pains in my lower abdomen became more prominent.

Which leads me to ask one simple question.

Period, why do you hate me?

Are you upset with me for not being with child? Does Uterus call you drunk and crying every month about how empty she feels? Now is not the time, Period. I fell asleep in a bathtub the other day. I’m not at my optimum Mom level, you know?

It just feels like a personal attack and I’m upset that it has to come to this. I get it, Period. You’re a bold gal. You like your presence known. Choosing the color red is a major power move. I appreciate that you’re not afraid to shout, “HERE I AM, WORLD. AND ARI’S WHITE DENIM SHORTS!”

But why the pain? Can we re-work the deal on cramps? And the alternating constipation and diarrhea (seriously, pick a side). Collectively, you have made me cry more than men have. That’s saying something. I’ve known some real dickheads.

Period, I love you. I know you don’t think I do. And I get why, I’m always complaining about you. I’m cursing your name, saying things like, “I FUCKING HATE YOU, PERIOD.”

For the record, I don’t. If you didn’t show up, I’d be terrified. I’d run to my local CVS and buy 17 pregnancy tests. I WANT you to keep coming. Please don’t confuse my occasional whining with me wanting to break up.

It would just be super cool if you eased up. A little. Please? TC mark

40 Insane Photos Of Hickeys That Will Make You Think Twice About Sucking Face

Posted: 01 Sep 2016 01:00 PM PDT

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TC mark

Here’s Why You’re Actually Unhappy With Your Life, Based On Your Zodiac Sign

Posted: 01 Sep 2016 12:00 PM PDT

@xtramoney
@xtramoney

Aries

(March 21st to April 19th)

You’re not being challenged.

Aries thrive under pressure, and as resident devils advocate of the zodiac, you love to argue the counter-point, challenge the mainstream, or at strike up a bit of competition with others. It pushes you to be better and know more, and Aries are nothing if not hungry to grow.

Taurus

(April 20th to May 21st)

You don’t have the right aesthetics.

This may seem shallow, but you need your world to look as beautiful as it feels, and a lot of the time for a Taurus, the solution to a lot of their stress is just for things to appear a certain way. Do not underestimate the power of your space, or how you dress yourself – both things can heavily influence your mood.

Gemini

(May 22nd to June 21st)

You don’t have direction.

You know what you love, but you don’t always know how to commit to it in a way that makes it sustainable. What you need more than anything is purpose and direction, you need to know where to put your energy. You feel deeply and strongly about things, but don’t always know what to do about them. If you don’t know where you’re headed, it’s easy for you to end up circling the same issues, blocks, excuses or ideas. Sit down and get clear on what you want.

Cancer

(June 22nd to July 22nd)

You’re around the wrong people.

Cancers are emotional, particularly when it comes to their relationships with other people. If you’re not careful, you can find yourself being heavily influenced by the wrong company, trying to keep up with the Jonses or appease someone who doesn’t have your best interests at heart. Be mindful of the company you keep, as the saying goes, it will influence who you become.

Leo

(July 23rd to August 22nd)

You haven’t developed your sense of self.

Leos are happiest when they know themselves. This is tricky, however, because of course your sense of self has to evolve as you do – your idea of who you are must keep evolving, otherwise you’ll become stuck and complacent.

Virgo

(August 23rd to September 22nd)

You care too much about what other people think.

The amount of stress that a Virgo feels around what other people think is proportionate to how much power and freedom they experience when they stop caring, too. If you’re unhappy, it’s probably because you’re living for someone other than yourself, or making choices based on what you were taught would be best, rather than what you know to be right.

Libra

(September 23rd to October 22nd)

You haven’t found balance between work and love.

Libras care about two things: the work they do and the people they love. If you could boil their life purpose down, it would be to love someone wholeheartedly, and do something impactful. Because they feel these things so strongly, it’s often hard for them to strike a balance between the two: their energy is easily consumed by one or the other. The problem with this is that Libras need balance to feel content.

Scorpio

(October 23rd to November 22nd)

You can’t control your thoughts.

Scorpios feel as intensely as they think, and this becomes a problem when they don’t know how to manage their often irrational, impulsive ideas. It’s not that you can actually control what you think, but that you must learn how to choose what you focus on, and how to let other ideas pass. For this to work, you need to know what you care about and what kind of person you want to be. You’re always going to feel more than other people do, but that doesn’t mean you have to live your life controlled by it.

Sagittarius

(November 23rd to December 21st)

You aren’t doing enough.

Sagittaruses need to be on the move constantly. They are hungry for experience, and if they are unsatisfied with life, it’s because they feel unable to do what they really want. Sags might *think* they want the picture-perfect life and home and partner, but unless they’re able to couple that with adventure, they’ll never really feel content.

Capricorn

(December 22nd to January 20th)

You aren’t grounded.

Capricorns are the most grounded sign of the zodiac (sometimes to a fault). If you aren’t grounded in a home you appreciate, a partner who loves you, a job you feel purpose doing, you’re not going to be happy. For a Capricorn, happiness is in how content they are with the constants: what they do, and where they go, each day.

Aquarius

(January 21st to February 18th)

Your ambitions aren’t big enough.

Aquariuses desire accomplishment, and if you’re not happy with your life, it’s because you’re not doing or dreaming enough for it. Your happiness will come from falling in love with project after project, and idea after idea. If you stop working toward something greater than yourself, you’ll be in a total rut.

Pisces

(February 19th to March 20th)

You don’t have a creative outlet.

Pisces have an intense need to be understood, and at the same time, often feel as though they are not. The best way for them to express themselves is by creating something, be it art or writing or even a business. Pisces need to create a part of themselves in the world, rather than spending their whole lives searching for a part of the world that is just right for them. If you’re unhappy as a Pisces, it’s because you aren’t using your creative energy in a productive way. TC mark