Thought Catalog

You Gave Me Something I’m Afraid To Lose

Posted: 23 Sep 2016 05:30 PM PDT

João Silas
João Silas

One night. One night was all it took for me to fall head over heels for you.

I've never felt so right about something or someone. I kept looking at you and wondering how we even got here.

I wonder if you felt it too.

Our food got cold from talking too much but we didn't run out of things to say. Not once.

There was a comfort to silences that made them the least bit awkward.

It was stepping close to one another but nothing really happening other than my heart beating through my chest.

And cliché moments they write about became reality as you wiped the chocolate off my face and I smiled.

It was taking your hand and leading the way and I wondered if you felt mine shaking.

It was your arm around me like it was a middle school date but here we were adults.

It was leaning in for a kiss and I've kissed a lot of people before but with you it was like the right kiss.

And we talked over a movie I wasn't even watching because in reality my eyes were on you.

You made me feel safe.

And all I wanted was for time to freeze. Because if I could just have that moment, that one night on replay whenever I chose, I'd be happy. I'd be secure. I'd be confident. There was a confidence looking into eyes that looked right back at me, and in the silence it said, “I won't hurt you.”

Genuine words came out of your mouth and I actually believed them because there wasn't a prior motive behind a compliment like I'm used to.

And my walls came crumbling down with your touch and I told you everything. There weren't rules that applied to this date of what I should or shouldn't say because with you no one in the past mattered. I looked at you and I saw what I wanted to be my future.

How does someone know something like that so quickly?

But with you it was easy.

But with all these feelings that rushed to me at once when we parted ways with a hug and a kiss I didn't want to end. I knew looking at you leave at a normal hour I had something to lose.

I knew looking at my reflection with clothes still on and a body still sober you weren't like the rest of them.

And flowers sat on the table that brought me tears when I was alone because they told me someone like you existed.

If we talked about my past you'd discover a list of names I wish I could forget and nights I don't even remember.

But it was like I was drunk on you with no alcohol at all. I didn't need to be. Because for the first time I needed anything to numb my pain because with you there wasn't any.

I watched you go hoping that wouldn't be the end.

Because in a single night I let you closer than any of them in the past.

So now here I am scared shitless of messing this thing up. I don't even know what this is or if it's anything.

And I look at my phone too often thinking maybe you'll change your mind. Maybe I'll overwhelm you. Maybe I'll say too much or the wrong thing. Maybe I'll try too hard. Maybe you'll stop answering. Maybe you wake up and decide you can't do this. Maybe again I'll be blindsided. Maybe you'll think I'm crazy. Maybe you'll hate me for everything I'm not but I wish I could be.

But then the maybe I cling to, is maybe none of what I've come to learn is 'normal' in relationships will happen with you. Just maybe you are the exception.

But what I do know is I want you a part of my life. And I haven't said that to anyone in a while. And it scares me. It scares me to admit that. It makes me feel weak saying I care. But I do.

You make me laugh and smile in a way I'm not faking it.

You make me want to remember everything and not drink to forget.

I went to bed crying that night, like all the pain had been flooded out of me. And my phone went off around 3am and for the first time I chose not to answer.

It was in you and in a single night I got what I've deserved this entire time of settling.

So even if this doesn't work out, I find comfort in knowing someone like you exists in the world. Someone who in a single night taught despite a heart that's black it still beats and I can still feel everything I've repressed and feared for so long. TC mark

I May Regret This In The Morning, But Tonight I’m Saying Hello

Posted: 23 Sep 2016 03:00 PM PDT


I may regret this in the morning, but tonight I'm saying hello.

You come across my mind every now and then. I don't think that is all that surprising.

What does surprise me is how much I miss you when that does happen. It surprises me how overwhelming that feeling is. I remember a lot of people, you know. I have fond memories filled with nostalgia and soft smiles that I like to replay.

Your memory doesn't feel that way. It doesn't feel like something I just happened to remember, but like something that's been trying to force its way to the forefront of my mind. Like it's demands to be remembered, to be noticed. It feels less like a small tug or a tap on the shoulder and more like an earthquake; I don't remember you without my brain rattling to some extent.

And on some of those nights, like tonight, I want to reach out to you and say hello again. I want to ask how you've been and how life is treating you. And truthfully, I want to reach past all the small talk and say "I've been thinking about you." Most nights I manage not to say anything to you. I talk myself out of it; I even type out introductory messages that I delete instantly. I tell myself it's not worth it, that reaching out will only manage to prolong this intense feeling you stir up in me that doesn't seem to want to fade.

Tonight, I don't talk myself out of it.

Wanting to talk to you doesn't stem from loneliness or boredom- I have more than my fair share of people to talk to. Sometimes, I just want to remember some feelings again. Maybe you will remind me of why you stir up this kind of emotion in me. Why you can still manage to create butterflies in my stomach and bring a smile to my lips without even being in the same room.

Maybe you'll respond and remind me, but I'm also just as aware that you may not. You might read it and not bother to reply. Maybe you will be making some other girl smile and taking her down another memory lane. I'm optimistic, but not unrealistic. I know that I may regret reaching out to you tomorrow. I may shake my head and kick myself for it. Yet the thing is, my regret will pass. It won't stick with me for days and days on end. What will stick with me is if I don't reach out; the "what if I'd said hello?" I know that question will haunt me more than reaching out to you ever would. "Hello" is one word, that could fall on deaf ears and I'll forget about it, or it could open up the door that's been closed for so long.

Something in me still thinks there might be magic between me and you, and that's enough for me to send five letters, one message, this one night.

I may regret this in the morning, but tonight, I'm saying "hello." TC mark

The Unedited Truth About What Men Really Notice About You 

Posted: 23 Sep 2016 02:00 PM PDT


What is it that really separates "a bit of fun" from "girlfriend material"?

What is it that men notice that makes a select few women stand out as keepers?

It's probably not what you think.

Here's the unedited truth about the top 10 things men really notice about you.

Whether you have a life you love

Men really notice whether you like your life.

It's basically what determines if we want to become a part of it.

From how passionately you talk about it to how content you seem in it, from the moment we've met you, we're noticing how you view your own existence. The more you seem to love it, the more we think we'll love it too.

How you treat people you don't know

A self-absorbed woman is easy to spot – her treatment of others is roughly proportional to what they can do for her, and we sense it in every interaction we see her in.

Occasionally though, men meet a woman who moves about the world with a default level of respect for others that is as honorable as it is attractive. From cashiers to wait staff, taxi drivers to a homeless person in the street, they treat everyone with the same respect and interest they would show for someone they care about.

You can literally watch – almost in slow motion – as the people they interact with sense their genuineness and warm to them, like butter on toast. It's a rare thing to find, and when we spot it, we want to bring it home to mum.

Whether you can make fun of yourself

Does anything show confidence more than the ability to make fun of yourself?

A woman who can laugh at herself shows she doesn't take him, or herself, too seriously. If you trip up (figuratively or literally) and can make fun of yourself for it, you communicate a level of self-worth that men rarely come across.

This applies to all forms of communication, too. Take texting. If you want to turn us on, send us a pic of you in lingerie. To impress us, send us a pic of you making a screwed up face and asking us how beautiful you are.

Whether you offer to pay for yourself

Are you a down to earth girl, who considers herself our equal?

Or are you up in the clouds with entitlement?

One of the easiest ways to tell is if you offer to pay for yourself.

Just as you might judge a man who doesn't offer to pay for you, men notice women who think they are entitled to a free ride by virtue of their gender.

Most gentlemen will decline your offer and foot the bill. But it doesn't mean we didn't notice it. We did.

It shows you're investing in the date, too. It shows you're as keen to impress us as we are to impress you. And it shows you're a woman who's independent and in control of her world.
You might think it's unfair we'd read so much into something so small, but it speaks volumes to your intent and the way you see yourself. Its absence is impossible to ignore.

How much you rely on your looks

We liked what we saw – you know that from the fact we're on a date with you. But the importance of your looks begins to decrease from the first moment you talk to us. From then onwards, we've started to weigh up how much more there is to you.

If you've stacked on the makeup and have little else to offer, sex (if things get that far) is as far as our animalistic programming will take the relationship. If you show up trusting in yourself, rather than your looks, you will peak our interest – big time.

Being presentable is important – as it is for him – but a guy can sense what you believe is your trump card.

Whether you have opinions

There is nothing sexier than certainty. If you want to him to respect you and see you as an equal (which, if you want to be more than a booty call, you do) then you need to have opinions.

Don't be that woman who comes across bland, who answers "I don't know" or "I don't really mind" or "never thought about it" to everything. It's tempting, because it doesn't risk breaking rapport. The problem is, it's an attempt to keep rapport based on connection, rather than attraction.

When you find something you disagree on and stick by it, you challenge him. You make him think. You force him onto his toes. Disagreeable? Perhaps. Challenging? Yep. Potential Girlfriend? Absolutely.

Whether you have an agenda for us

There's a difference between a woman on a date to get to know us and see where it might lead, versus a woman whose mind is already three dates and commitment ahead. Men aren't great people readers, but we can read this.

If we get a sense in the first couple of dates that, despite you hardly knowing us, you've already sold yourself on commitment, it's an A+ turnoff.

Whether you can outwit us

Any woman who can run us around the proverbial wit playground is irresistible. Why? She clearly doesn't put us on a pedestal; she's challenging, and she must be comfortable being herself. All these communicate true confidence and belief in her own value.

Win or lose, simply by playing the game, you've shown you're girlfriend material.

How you fare when left alone

It's not that we will wander away for the sake of it, but sooner or later, a situation will emerge where we need to leave you alone, and we're watching what happens next.

We can either come back to find you making a great impression and mingling positively, or awkwardly keeping to yourself in the corner. It's a chance either to impress the hell out of us or leave us questioning whether you're not such a good fit for our life.

What your relationships with other women are like

Don't underestimate how much we notice your relationships with females and what other women think of you. It speaks volumes about your loyalty and trustworthiness as a girlfriend.

There's nothing that sets off alarm bells more than if your girlfriends don't seem loyal or if you tell us, "I don't have female friends because they're too much drama." Most women are obsessed with what men think of them, so it's rare and refreshing to find a woman with other priorities. If it's hard to get you on a date because you're constantly out with the girls or if you have a couple of close friends we believe would take a bullet for you, we know we've found a keeper. TC mark

This Mysterious Tweet Was Posted From Murdered Woman’s Twitter After Police Already Found Her Dismembered Body

Posted: 23 Sep 2016 01:30 PM PDT


Police are currently investigating the tragic murder of Jacqueline Vandagriff, whose body was found in a Texas park by firefighters last week. The strange part of the case, however, is not just the grisly murder itself, but also the social media activity on her account…after her death.

Roughly a day after her badly mutilated body was found by authorities, this tweet was posted on Vandagriff’s Twitter account:


Police have actually made an arrest in this case already, bringing in 30-year-old Charles Bryant for the crime. Witnesses saw Bryant leaving a local bar with Vandagriff. He is being held on charges of capital murder.

Speculation is forming that it was the murderer himself, Bryant, who made the tweet from Vandagriff’s Twitter. If that’s the case, the tweets seem to imply that he received some sort of “thrill” from the killing, and for covertly advertising it on his victim’s social media accounts.

This theory seems to be supported by posts that Charles Bryant made on his own social media platforms — specifically these Facebook posts:

The night of Vandagriff’s murder, he posts that he is “walking in the rain” around Dallas.

And, again, on the very night of the murder, he posts that he will “teach you tricks that will blow your mind.” These are sexual lyrics from the song “Wolfe Like Me,” but very eerie given the context.

He returns to Facebook the day that authorities find Vandagriff’s body — and the same day a post mortem tweet appears on her Twitter.

Would this “trouble” have included brutally murdering an innocent woman — like he is accused of doing just a few nights prior?

Since this post, he has made some bizarrely philosophical posts:

Including a rallying cry against “liars.”

Vandagriff’s burned and dismembered body was found wrapped in a plastic pool by local firefighters. Bryant’s housemate said that, until recently, he had kept two paddling pools in the backyard.

Bryant is currently being held on $1 million bond. TC mark

Here’s What You’re Like In Bed Based On Your Drink Of Choice

Posted: 23 Sep 2016 01:00 PM PDT

Adriana Michele
Adriana Michele


You’re either a super average dude or a girl who tries a little too hard to prove how ~*~chill~*~ she is. If you’re the former, you think there are only four positions, but at least you’ve mastered them. If you’re the latter, despite your bravado, you are very submissive in the bedroom. You’ll talk shit in the bar, but want to be dominated when you get alone with someone.

Red wine

You’re incredibly sensual. Like, you probably listen to Prince all day long in preparation for a date. Sex with you is a meeting of the senses: hearing, sight, touch, smell, taste. You want every part of someone, and for them to have every part of you.

White wine

You fake orgasms. A lot.


You think enjoying doggy style somehow makes you kinky. Honey. No. Many people like doggy style.


You’re a huge fan of morning sex. You’re relatively vanilla, but will have the occasional “let’s try some weird shit” night. Sex with you is always enjoyable, even if it’s a little predictable sometimes.


You’ve had sex in a bar bathroom before. And frankly, you’d do it again.

Rum and coke

You’re not flashy or overly flirtatious. But you’re a VERY selfless lover. Like, someone should give you an award. Because, damn.

Whiskey neat

You think you’re amazing in bed. You’re just okay.


You’ve had (or thought about having) a threesome and ended up not being that into it.

Gin and tonic

You’re so fucking cool. Like, you just are. You’re funny and effervescent, and a ton of fun in the sack.


Who do you think you are, Don Draper? You don’t get laid enough for me to even speculate what you’re like in bed. TC mark

All The Things I Want You To Know

Posted: 23 Sep 2016 12:00 PM PDT

 Arkady Lifshits
Arkady Lifshits

Please know that I am happy for you. I heard that you like someone now. I heard that you really like her. With her in your life now, I have things that I would like to tell you if I had the chance or if I had the courage at all to tell you face to face.

I want you to know that I am thankful that you came into my life. I am thankful still, even if it had to end and that we had to go our separate ways.

I want you to know that I have let go of everything, all my questions, my fears, my what ifs, my understated pain, everything that involves you. I have accepted the fact that this is what we’ll ever be. Nothing more and maybe someday, less.

I want you to know that you don’t affect me now as much as you did before. I don’t spend my day wondering where you are and who you’re with or if you would tell me everything about what happened to you during the day. I just don’t wonder about you anymore.

I want you to know that I see you as a different person now. I still see you on social media from time to time and there are times that I try to recall the ‘you’ when we were……..well, anyway, the ‘you’ that I remember is so far from the ‘you’ that I’m seeing now. I’m not sure if you changed or if that’s who you really are and that I just didn’t get the chance to really know you much.

Lastly, I want you to know that I am okay now. Really.

Please take care of her. Guard her heart as much as you guard yours. Treat her well. Never do something that would make her question your intentions to her. If you can’t say it now, make her feel how much you care for her, how much she means to you and how much you could love her only if she lets you.

If you think she’s worth it, don’t get tired in pursuing her, in showing her that you are worth her time and effort, that you deserve the trust that she gives you. Or just gather all the courage you could get and just tell her. Tell her. She’s worth the risk. If she’s that important to you, then she is worth the risk. Just don’t get tired. Don’t get discouraged. Fight for her if you have to.

I believe that you are good and I pray that the universe will be kind to you as much as you are kind to people. As much as you were kind to me.

That is all.  TC mark

Clear Your Calendar, Here Is Every New Netflix Release For October

Posted: 23 Sep 2016 11:30 AM PDT


Netflix has released their October list of upcoming shows and movies. I’ve presented them below by date. 


A Cinderella Story (2004)
Barbershop 2: Back in Business (2004)
Blue Streak (1999)
Breakfast at Tiffany's (1961)
Dazed and Confused (1993)
Dr. Dolittle: Tail to the Chief (2008)
Fairy Tale: A True Story (1997)
Ferris Bueller's Day Off (1986)
Gentleman's Agreement (1947)
Ghost Town (2008)
Grizzly Man (2005)
How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days (2003)
Millennium (1989)
Murder Maps: Season 2 (2015)
My Little Pony Equestria Girls: Legend of Everfree (2016)
Once Upon a Time in the West (1968)
Oriented (2015)
Patton (1970)
Picture This! (2008)
Pooh's Grand Adventure: The Search for Christopher Robin (1997)
The Queen of the Damned (2002)
Quiz Show (1994)
Robotech (1985)
RV (2006)
Saving Mr. Wu (2015)
Snake Eyes (1998)
Snow Day (2000)
Sphere (1998)
Three Kings (1999)
Titanic (1997)
Unforgiven (1992)
The Uninvited (2009)
Unsealed: Alien Files: Season 4
Without a Paddle (2004)


Dheepan (2015)


American Horror Story: Hotel (Season 5)
Chevalier (2015)
Dartmoor Killing (2015)
The Flash: Season 2
The Grinder: Season 1


Arrow: Season 4


iZombie: Season 2


Dinotrux: Season 3 ­NETFLIX ORIGINAL
The Ranch: Season 1 Part 2 ­NETFLIX ORIGINAL
Russell Peters: Almost Famous NETFLIX ORIGINAL
The Siege of Jadotville (2016) ­NETFLIX ORIGINAL
Supernatural: Season 11


The Originals: Season 3
Vampire Diaries: Season 7


Kuromukuro: Season 2 ­NETFLIX ORIGINAL
Love Between the Covers (2015)


Justin Timberlake + The Tennessee Kids (2016) NETFLIX ORIGINAL


DC's Legends of Tomorrow: Season 1
Mascots (2016) ­NETFLIX ORIGINAL


Haters Back Off!: Season 1 ­NETFLIX ORIGINAL
Project MC2: Season 3 ­NETFLIX ORIGINAL
Sky Ladder: The Art of Cai Guo­Qiang (2016) ­NETFLIX ORIGINAL


Being George Clooney (2016)
Chapo: el escape del siglo (2016)
Glitch: Season 1 ­NETFLIX ORIGINAL
Power Rangers Dino Super Charge: Season 1: Part 1


Dark Matter: Season 2


Black Mirror: Season 3 (Part 1) ­NETFLIX ORIGINAL
Containment: Season 1
Joe Rogan: Triggered ­NETFLIX ORIGINAL
Midnight Diner: Tokyo Stories ­NETFLIX ORIGINAL
The Mr. Peabody and Sherman Show: Season 3 NETFLIX ORIGINAL
Word Party: Season 2 NETFLIX ORIGINAL


Doctor Foster: Season 1


Big Eyes (2014)


Jesus Camp (2006)
Kung Fu Panda 3 (2016)


7 años (2016) ­NETFLIX ORIGINAL
I Am the Pretty Thing That Lives in the House (2016) ­NETFLIX ORIGINAL
Into the Inferno (2016) ­NETFLIX ORIGINAL
Skylanders Academy: Season 1 ­NETFLIX ORIGINAL
Trailer Park Boys: Out of the Park: Europe ­NETFLIX ORIGINAL


The Fall: Season 3 ­NETFLIX ORIGINAL


Chewing Gum: Season 1 ­NETFLIX ORIGINAL TC mark

The Unedited Truth About Why ‘Almost’ Relationships Are Never Worth It

Posted: 23 Sep 2016 11:01 AM PDT

Tim Gouw
Tim Gouw

I think that it is safe to say that I’ve had more “almost” relationships than long term connections at this point in my life. This is the type of relationship where you are technically together but aren’t entirely ready for a such a strenuous commitment just yet. So why do we do put ourselves in these “almost” type of situations? Is it the thrill of not knowing?

Do we just not want to be alone?

These relationships habitually begin with an initial attraction to each other. You’ll end up talking to that person every day and become comfortable with the presence of them in your everyday life.

When people ask if you’re in a relationship you are so torn between whether to say yes or no (because you aren’t exactly too sure yourself.) After a couple of months it will feel like it’s going somewhere and might even lead to a prospective relationship. But-eventually the connection will fade and you’ll talk less and less until they cease to exist in your life completely.

There are several reasons why these types of relationships are unable to make it for the long haul. Maybe one person is afraid to wholly commit to the other. Maybe there is someone else from the past that they forsee themselves getting back with eventually. Whatever the circumstances may be, there is some undetermined reason that the relationship is incapable of moving forward and become something resilient, so to speak.

I have been on both sides of this erratic spectrum. I have cut ties with my “almost” relationship and I’ve had someone cut ties with me. Either way, it is undeniably a shitty feeling.

The one thing we must always remember about “almost” relationships is that if it was meant to be, it would have been.

One of the most notable things I have unveiled from my own personal experience is that if somebody disengages things with you before they even begin, they were never really ready in the first place.

It is more than likely that you will encounter several of these situations during the course of your dating life. Keep in mind that eventually one of these will be the right fit for you and will evolve into something that can flourish and be long-lasting.

Until then, cheers to being single. TC mark

Maybe This Time, We’ll Get It Right

Posted: 23 Sep 2016 10:00 AM PDT


This is your final chance
to be with me
this is your final chance
to show me that you care
because I've been waiting for you
and you never really show up on time
I've been waiting for you
and you have a tendency to be a little too late

So here's what I have to say
I'm either black or white
but I'm willing to settle for grey
because the problem is
it's you
and you always change the rules
you break down walls
you make me break my own promises
and you know how to open my heart
so that it goes back to you

And maybe you'll always be that person
the one I can never say ‘no’ to
that will always have a way with me
that will always make me hope for more
that will always make me smile
and for that reason
I want another chance with you
I want a tenth chance with you
because you make chances look easy
you make chances worth it
and I still believe
that someday we'd get it right
that one of those chances
will finally pay off

Because you're like me
you'll say you'll over me
you'll say you don't want me
you'll say you deserve better
then you see me
and it hits you
that I'm the only one you want
and we go back to where it all started.  TC mark

Be Thankful Your Almost Relationship Never Turned Into A REAL Relationship

Posted: 23 Sep 2016 09:00 AM PDT

Twenty20, rodrigodaibert
Twenty20, rodrigodaibert

I liked him (a lot), but we never would’ve lasted as a legitimate couple. When I image what it would’ve been like to be with him, I see jealousy and lies and late night fights. Moments that would inspire powerful love songs, but wouldn’t do much for my self-esteem. As much as I miss him, I honestly don’t need any drama in my life.

It was fun hanging out with him. It was fun flirting with him. It was fun kissing him. But that’s over now. And I’m okay with that.

In fact, I’m happy our almost relationship never turned into a real relationship. We experienced all of the best parts of a being a couple without any of the downfalls. We didn’t have the opportunity to nag each other over chores or fight over stupid shit, but we spent plenty of time sexting and snuggling and spilling compliments.

If we actually dated, chances are that we would’ve ended up apart eventually, filled with bittersweet memories. But, right now, most of my memories of him are positive. They make me smile. Make me laugh. Make me horny.

If we actually dated, then he would’ve had even more opportunities to hurt me. Yes, I’m currently annoyed with him. Yes, my heart is fractured, because it’s possible to develop deep feelings without dating. But he didn’t hurt me as badly as he would’ve if we were together for five years and then slowly grew apart. We saved each other some trouble.

Besides, if I ever want to invite him back into my life, I can. Things might be awkward between us, but they’re not exactly the same as our relationship would’ve been if we were exes. There’s still sexual tension between us. There’s still something between us.

So before you get upset over the fact that your almost relationship never turned into something real, appreciate it for what it was. Did you have a good time with him? Did he make you happy? Did he make you feel sexy and smart and special? 

Then what’s so bad about what happened?

Yes, it sucks to get disappointed. It sucks to imagine taking him home to meet your parents or to picture moving in with him and then finding out that it’s never going to happen. That you’ll technically never be more than just friends, even though he was practically your boyfriend.

But if you stop focusing on the things you hoped would’ve happened and focus on the things that did happen, you’ll realize it wasn’t all that bad. It was actually a lot of fun, so why would you complain? After all, he brought a little excitement to your life, even if it was only for a few weeks.

So be happy your almost relationship never turned into an actual, honest to goodness relationship. Now you can find someone that fits you better. Someone that realizes what you deserve. Someone that thinks you’re worthy of the title of girlfriend. TC mark