Thought Catalog


Here Are Your Non-Negotiable Guidelines For Hooking Up Sans Commitment

Posted: 24 Sep 2016 07:15 PM PDT

Two Night Stand
Two Night Stand

Dear Guy that is New and Unattached in Every Possible Way,

Let's float through this noncommittal hookup with some ground rules, shall we? Because life is like a box of chocolates, but I know what you're gonna get.

1. Use Your Words.

You were attracted to me because I'm "sexy and seemed nice." Turns out that I am nice. So when I text you to say, "Thank you. I had a great time last night," take this at face value. I have not named our future babies.

2. Don't Assume I'm Obsessed With You

"I like you" does not equal "I like red velvet wedding cake with cream cheese buttercream." I don't even know your middle name, so let's pump the breaks and hold the engagement photos please. Besides, I haven't decided what my signature will look like when I take your last name. It's too soon!

3. Do You.

I don't love that you smoke, and that does not make me your mother (so you can stop calling me that). To burn your future into a pile of cigarette butts is your prerogative. I'm not here to change you. I'm not your mommy.

4. Love Me Maybe.

You asked why my ex and I broke up. Fair. I told you, never implying that I'm broken. I left the relationship because I am strong, not because I need you to take care of me. (But if you decide to care about me on any level, I wouldn't hate it).

5. Date Me or Don't.

I don't care. If you don't want to date me, somebody else will. Something about busses and another one coming along any minute? Plus, I have a really snuggly dog who also happens to be the love of my life. Seat's taken!

6. If You Want A Doormat, Go Fish.

You think I challenge things for the sake of being difficult. Thanks, but no thanks. I challenge status-quos that are outdated and belittling. For example, unequal pay is to me as an influx of Syrian refugees is to Donald Trump. Complete. Madness. I stand up for what I believe (and against everything Trump stands for), so if you want a doormat of a woman, go fish.

And that's all I have to say about that. Ball is in your court to swing or miss, because "I want a man! Not a booooyyy whoooo thinnnkksss he careesss." …Spice Girls, anyone? No? Ok. #GirlPower

Sincerely Not Yours,

Your Also Uncommitted Less-Than-A-Fling Thing

PS. We wear condoms. Not sorry, and non-negotiable. TC mark

The Reason She Is A Slut

Posted: 24 Sep 2016 06:15 PM PDT

Audrey Reid - www.instagram.com/awaudrey/
Audrey Reid –
www.instagram.com/awaudrey/

It all started when she was a young girl. She was told that her prince charming would come along one day. That he would sweep her off her feet. That there would only be one boy for her, and he would be the best thing to ever happen to her.

So she waits. And she waits.

She grows. Now she is 16. She has a magnetic personality. Or that's what boys tell her. She's not sure. Many boys talk to her, and she tries to make it work with each of them. She has the perspective that we can learn something from everybody, and always gives people a chance. She thinks, "I can make it work with this boy, he is not perfect but I could learn to love him." But always, there is a problem. She is told by some of these boys that she is too 'innocent' and that she is too 'good' and others tell her that she is too 'intense'. Many times after that she is told she is too 'apathetic'; other times that she 'is too good for them'. She breaks one heart, but her heart gets broken too many times to count. There is always some excuse as to why they cannot love her back. She cries at night after each one of these boys; but she has hope that one day her prince charming will arrive.

She turns 18. She makes friends with other like-minded girls who have not found love either. They tell her that these boys do not deserve a girl like her. They help her move on after each heartbreak of an 'almost.' She helps them in return.

She meets a boy. Her 'dream-boy'. He resembles everything she has ever wanted in a boy. And the best part is that the dream boy feels that she is his dream girl. They are made for each other. He tells her that he felt this way as soon as he saw her. He tells her that they met for a reason, that they are from the same star, that they have a connection that surpasses anything either have experienced before. She believes him because she feels the same thing, and does not listen to that tiny whisper behind her, warning that "this is too good to be true."

She gives him her first kiss. He leaves. She loves this boy. She does not know why she does or why he left. She analyses every conversation they ever had, replaying it in her head word for word while she cries and remembers all the good memories she has of her dream boy. But he does not come back. He is only a good memory; her dream boy.

So she tries to move on. She tries to talk to other boys. But she compares every boy to her dream boy even though she knows she shouldn't. These boys know that she is heartbroken. They take advantage of her because they know that when a girl is emotionally damaged, she is seeking attention to heal her. So one by one, they push her sexually and emotionally to see how far she will go with each of them. These boys do not care about her emotions, because they have been hurt themselves by their 'dream girls'.

She kisses many boys, sometimes she kisses girls, sometimes she doesn't remember who she has kissed. She goes out every weekend and it is a very rare night when she does not kiss at least one boy. She is seeking a connection like the last one she had, but even though she does realize that she cannot find a connection by drunkenly kissing boys, she likes the attention she gets and she keeps doing it. She doesn't care anymore who she kisses.

She decides to grow up. She goes on a date. She thinks she could care about this boy, but this boy decides he isn't ready to settle down with her. He wants to sleep with her. She says no. He leaves.

She decides that she does not want another boy to hurt her. So she makes a decision. The decision to lose her virginity to somebody that she does not care about. So she does. Because she does not want to lose it to a boy who she thinks cares about her when they don't. She is not brave enough to risk her heart anymore.

Now she doesn't care who she sleeps with. And that is okay, because this is the reason why she is a slut. TC mark

This Is The Brutal Truth About Why You’re Afraid To Be Happy

Posted: 24 Sep 2016 05:15 PM PDT

_saraheiseman_
_saraheiseman_

Are you afraid to be happy?

It was a simple question with a simple answer. Of course I wasn't afraid to be happy. Everyone in this world is fighting to find their forever happiness. But as the question started to seep into my brain and I looked at the source of the question, someone I loved more than anything, I realized it was valid.

And the more it simmered the more I started to realize that maybe I am scared of happiness.

I guess it's because we're taught to look for the next best thing. So as soon as anything feels like settling to me something internally starts to make me panic. It makes me panic so much that I start to self-sabotage. And it sounds dumb. It sounds so dumb that I allow myself to ruin my own happiness but I do it daily. I do it so much that my own friends feel like they're watching a car crash they can't intervene to stop.

I know many people who are happy. They're content. And I envy them. I am jealous of their happiness. But mostly I'm jealous that they can feel true and unadulterated happiness. The kind that makes you feel like you're walking on air. And they let themselves be loved. Because even though I love people and tell them I love them on a regular basis, receiving love isn't something I'm good at.

Being afraid to be happy sounds stupid. It sounds like something I'm actively fighting against. It sounds like I'm a big coward who isn't willing to let themselves feel content. Someone who constantly has to keep moving because as soon as the mundane sets in is when the depression gets kicked into over drive.

Maybe it's because I'm craving something more for my life. Maybe.

But really it's because I am a coward. I'm too much of a coward to tell someone I love them. I'm too much of a coward leave a situation I hate. I'm too much of a coward to start over one more time. I'm too much of a coward to admit to failure yet again.

Because if I'm being honest, truly honest, I am completely and utterly terrified to be happy.

I am so scared of someone actually loving me back. I'm scared that I'll wake up every day excited to start my day. I'm scared I'll look in the mirror and love the person staring back at me. And that doesn't make sense. Why that would scare me. But it does. It is a complete horror film to me that one day I could actually be happy.

What does happy even mean anymore? Is it love? Is it passion? Is it money? Is it all three rolled into one?

What it truly boils down to is my inability to see what I'm worth. And that's the scariest sentence I've ever put into the universe. I am completely unsure of what I'm worth anymore. Because when I was a kid I was reminded I wasn't good enough. My first love told me I was only good for one thing. And that was a sentiment that was repeated relationship after relationship. It's been hammered into my head when I'm passed over for a promotion. It's what I feel every time I do something that makes me unsure if it's good enough. If I'm good enough.

So when I sabotage myself for the 50th time, it reminds me that I am, 100 percent, not worth much. But I do it to myself. No one is doing it to me. No one has been whispering 'you're worthless' as I stand in the mirror every morning. No one but my own mind.

And that's sad. It's sad that I can admit that I am completely afraid to be happy. It's sad that I look to sabotage my own life so I can tell myself I told you so. It's heartbreaking that knowing I do this and continuing to do it. It's something I feel like I'm not sure I can control anymore.

If you're afraid to be happy, if you're not sure what your worth is, if you're struggling with self-sabotage: the first step is to getting over it is admitting it. The second step is remembering you deserve to be happy. It's hard work to rebuild yourself after feeling completely destroyed.

But I know if I can do it, so can you. So start this journey to self-love and start today. It's got to be better than this. So don't be afraid of being happy.

Be afraid of never loving yourself.

Take the first step and never look back to the person who's too afraid to find true happiness. TC mark

Someone Has Been Renaming All These Classic Kids Books And It’s F*cking Hilarious

Posted: 24 Sep 2016 04:15 PM PDT

Out there on the internet, there is an Instagram page called “Paperback Paradise.” The page takes old classic children’s books with bizarre covers and gives them bizarre titles to match. These are really quite hilarious.

Like this book with a spaceship shooting a Pterodactylus:

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Or this one with a guy riding this crazy monster thing:

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Or this one with the sassy AF bird:

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What was this book’s title originally??

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These new titles are so much more improved!

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Here some more of my favorites!

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For even more hilarious paperback book title replacements, check out the Instagram here! TC mark

7 Ways To Make Sure Your Next Date Isn’t Awkward

Posted: 24 Sep 2016 03:15 PM PDT

lookcatalog
lookcatalog

There's a lot more that goes into a successful date than just looking good and smelling good. We always hope we won't act awkward, standoffish, or accidentally say something weird. You want the date to go smoothly, and you don't want to do anything that might turn off your date. It's never a good feeling to leave a date with someone you're interested in feeling as though it didn't go well, and feeling certain you won't be seeing him or her again.

Sometimes, the first few dates are agonizing and uncomfortable, but you then start to learn what types of dates work for you and you notice which dates allow you to feel more at ease and therefore less awkward.

With these tips, you'll be able to avoid bad dates and figure out how to put a stop to an uncomfortable date before it starts. Here are 7 ways to make sure your next date isn't awkward:

1. Plan ahead

Having a plan is one of the best ways to make sure your date will go smoothly. A lot of introverted people and socially awkward people rely on this dating strategy. Your date night plan should include things like reservations, an outfit picked out, a set time, a meeting place and a second location pre-planned in case the date is going well and you want to stay out.

Research things like comedy shows, karaoke bars, and don't shy away from reading reviews and asking around so that you know what you're getting into. It's a lot better than being surprised when a venue isn't at all what you expected. If you can, go on a reconnaissance mission so that you know what to expect, and if it doesn't go well, add it to your list of date locations to avoid.

2. Embrace distractions

When I suggest that you embrace distractions, I don't mean that you should be scrolling through Snapchat on your date. What I mean is, an awkward person doesn't need the attention on them at all times on a date. Go to places like open-mic nights, karaoke bars, comedy clubs and improv centers so that you can enjoy your date's company without feeling the pressure to make conversation all night long.

I recently went for drinks with a guy who planned the perfect date. He knew of a cute little restaurant / pub that had 9pm stand-up comedy performances every night. So, he suggested we meet there at 8pm, giving us one hour to chat before we would be focusing on the performance. This worked well because it was easy to find things to talk about for an hour, but it was nice to be able to stop talking after that and just watch a show and laugh while his arm was around me.

3. Don't go anywhere too fancy

If you somewhere fancy on your date, you'll feel even more uncomfortable and consumed with obsessive thoughts. At a fancy place, you'll be like is what I'm wearing nice enough for this place? and am I using the right fork? Should I be using the little fork? and am I going to have to pay for half of this expensive ass bill? Not to mention the fear that you didn't pronounce the menu item you ordered properly.

For some reason, you really feel the pressure and feel the expectations at a fancy place. You feel as though you must be on your best behaviour, and you end up not really being yourself. It's better to keep it casual for the first few dates, until you're comfortable enough with each other to survive the white tablecloths and 3 forks.

4. Dress appropriately for the type of date you're going on

When you're choosing an outfit for a date, you want to avoid anything that requires maintenance, constant adjustments, or causes pain. For example, don't wear the skirt that is notorious for always riding up. Don't wear the blouse with the buttons that sometimes pop open. Don't wear the red lipstick that smears. And definitely, definitely don't wear the high heels that hurt to walk in. If you wear these things, you'll make your date awkward and feel uncomfortable.

There are plenty of lip stains that don't come off when you eat, and there are lots of stylish yet comfortable shoes. Fashionable sneakers are trendy right now and you'll definitely be able to walk in them without complications.

5. Don't go anywhere too quiet

In general, the noisy buzz of people and music will help you get through an unnerving date, and that noise in the background will also help you not notice any awkward silences. An awkward silence feels 10 times more awkward in a silent, empty restaurant. I'll tell you that much.

You don't want to go anywhere that's so loud that you can't hear each other talk, but you do want to pick a place that has a healthy level of background noise. Again, this is where research comes in handy. You'll get to know the restaurants and lounges that are always decently busy, not too loud and not too quiet.

6. Avoid anywhere with line-ups

Although going to the Zoo or going to a theme park may seem like a good date idea, it's not. At least not until you're comfortable with that person. You're going to be waiting in long line-ups, and that can be awkward. Sometimes you're stuck in the sun and you're hot, sweaty and not in the mood to make small talk while you wait in line. Plus, nobody likes waiting in lines, so maybe it's not as fun of a date idea as you think.

7. Say no to anything overly romantic

I'm all about the romantic date, but it's not something I want to partake in until I'm confident that him and I will become something. I want to know that what we have is real, and get to know him in casual settings at first. It can be super awkward to go on an extremely romantic, extravagant and intimate date in the beginning. If you act too much like a couple too soon, you can end up scaring each other away. I made the mistake of going on a romantic weekend getaway at an intimate hotel with a guy I had only been dating for a few weeks, and I realized it an incredibly stupid thing to do. It was too soon, too awkward, and the last I ever saw of him. TC mark

How I Learned That Love Isn’t Enough

Posted: 24 Sep 2016 02:15 PM PDT

unsplash.com
unsplash.com

"There are all kinds of love in this world, but never the same love twice." – F. Scott Fitzgerald

I saw you last weekend at a place we'd discovered together. I had this feeling that you'd be there that night, somehow. And, of all nights, I guessed right. Should I be surprised?

I stepped out from the bathroom and in my peripheral vision… Your tall figure, your brisk walk to the bar. It was all too familiar. And trailing behind you was some girl you'd brought with you.

When the feelings of the past come surging up, in that moment it's as if all of our negatives had dissipated and been forgotten. Nevermind those late night drunken accusatory phone calls and text messages. And who cares about that one night you got so drunk and I never heard from you and you ended up in jail? Or the times when you told me you wanted to kill yourself and told me it was my fault? Where were those memories when I saw you?

Funny how the mind works. In the days following, I felt – feel – this deep longing for the best of what we had. The intimacy, that intellectual connection, the companionship. I haven't felt that void in a while and yet when it comes back, it hits hard.

But what I'm longing for is just a fantasy of sorts, isn't it? Because we never really JUST had that love, intimacy, connection, and companionship – did we?

The truth is, we were hopelessly codependent for so long that we didn't even realize it until it was too late. When I finally realized it, it was the beginning of the end for us. What we had in the mix, too, was your deep denial of your alcoholism – and hell, my blindness to it right alongside you. Depression was there too, de-saturating so much of your life and I didn't even know its presence until your cutting and drinking and our fighting coincided. Confusion, dishonesty, blurred boundaries muddled all of it.

So that's the reality. I miss parts of what we had – so, so much. But that, as parts of a whole, is not real. I'm sorry – not to you, nor to me – but I'm just sorry for that. May there be more, and better, for the both of us. I love you, but like they all seem to say – love isn't enough. TC mark

50 ‘Would You Rather’ Questions To Ask If You Really Want To Get To Know Someone

Posted: 24 Sep 2016 01:15 PM PDT

unsplash.com
unsplash.com

1. Would you rather only be able to watch one show repeatedly for the rest of your life, or only be able to watch the first episode of every show in existence for the rest of your life?

2. Would you rather have a car alarm go off every night outside of your window but get to sleep in as late as you wanted, or have a peaceful, quiet sleep every single night but have to get up every morning at 3?

3. Would you rather be immune to hangovers forever, or never have to go to the dentist ever again?

4. Would you rather be able to eat everything you ever wanted and have an amazing body, or buy everything you’ve ever wanted and never run out of money?

5. Would you rather have to stand up in the middle of every wedding ceremony you attend and scream “It should have been me!” or take the microphone during somebody’s reception speech and cry about how alone you are?

6. Would you rather be able to speak to animals or be able to read other people’s minds?

7. Would you rather have all water taste like vodka or all food taste like old feet [without their actual essences changing]?

8. Would you rather tell someone that their new baby is ugly or that their new spouse is ugly?

9. Would you rather look 90 starting right now but live until you’re 90, or look 21 starting right now but only live for another 10 years?

10. Would you rather only be able to text in emojiis for the rest of your life or have the ‘low storage space’ notification pop up on your phone every day for the rest of your existence (and be unable to fix it)?

11. Would you rather be the top dog at a shitty company or be the worst employee at the best company in the world?

12. Would you rather be The Bachelor(ette) or be a contestant on Bachelor in Paradise? 

13. Would you rather be sent home on the first night of The Bachelor(ette) or stay on until the ‘Final 2’ but be the villain?

14. Would you rather be banned from ordering delivery ever again or be banned from using Uber (or any similar service) ever again?

15. Would you rather have to abstain from alcohol or from caffeine for the rest of your life?

16. Would you rather have unlimited La Croix forever or be able to binge watch any show you want, even if all the episodes haven't aired yet?

17. Would you rather never wash your sheets ever again or only be able to shower once every two weeks?

18. Would you rather snort obnoxiously every time you laughed or have a voice that sounded exactly like Janice from Friends?

19. Would you rather have unlimited free therapy sessions forever, or a one-time three-hour life session with Oprah?

20. Would you rather have to eat the same exact thing every single day but never have to pay for your food, or be able to eat whatever you want but have to pay twice as much for everything you buy?

21. Would you rather be unemployed but have everyone think you’re the CEO of a Fortune 500 company, or be the CEO of a Fortune 500 company but have everyone think you’re unemployed?

22. Would you rather be absolutely adored by everyone or have unlimited power?

23. Would you rather have your life be narrated (publicly) by Morgan Freeman or Alec Baldwin?

24. Would you rather appear unbelievably attractive to your partner and extremely unattractive to everyone else, or unbelievably attractive to everyone else but extremely unattractive to your partner?

25. Would you rather have to permanently give up salts or sweets?

26. Would you rather have eyes the size of a baseball or eyes the size of a pea?

27. Would you rather have a straight, flawless smile with super yellow teeth, or super crooked teeth that are pearly white?

28. Would you rather spend the rest of your life always cold or always exhausted?

29. Would you rather be plain-looking but always the funniest person in the room, or super hot but always the most boring person in the room?

30. Would you rather have to wear the same outfit every day for the rest of your existence or have every single piece of clothing you own have a massive brown stain on it?

31. Would you rather show up to work one day with no pants, or pee yourself in the middle of a presentation in front of all your coworkers?

32. Would you rather have to sneak the word ‘moist’ into every conversation you have, or have a piece of pepper permanently stuck in your front teeth?

33. Would you rather have everyone publicly claim to hate you but secretly love you and admire you, or have everyone publicly claim to love you and admire you but secretly hate you?

34. Would you rather permanently smell like gasoline or like nail polish?

35. Would you rather have people think your significant other is way out of your league or that you are way out of your significant other’s league?

36. Would you rather cry every time you spoke or fart loudly every time you laugh?

37. Would you rather be permanently thirsty or permanently nauseous?

38. Would you rather have permanently bad breath or have your partner have bad breath but only around you?

39. Would you rather have your feet look like a second pair of hands or your hands look like a second pair of feet?

40. Would you rather be cheated on or be the person known to everyone else as a cheater?

41. Would you rather announce every single thing you say the way Oprah does (you get a car! you get a car!) or have every person ask you to repeat yourself after every single thing you say?

42. Would you rather be super intelligent but a huge asshole, or insanely kind but also incredibly stupid?

43. Would you rather post an extremely unflattering photo that gets hundreds of likes, or a super flattering photo that only gets one like total?

44. Would you rather have to lick people’s face whenever they go to shake your hand or scream “I didn’t wash my hands!” to all of your coworkers every time you come back from the bathroom?

45. Would you rather have a permanently spotless kitchen and a disgusting bedroom, or a permanently disgusting kitchen and a spotless bedroom?

46. Would you rather have all of your google searches, or all of your text messages, be broadcasted to everyone on Facebook?

47. Would you rather be known as someone who always crop-dusts or someone who never offers to pay the bill?

48. Would you rather be considered extremely lazy but have tons of friends, or be considered extremely successful but only have one friend?

49. Would you rather spend four total hours of your day commuting to and from work in a super luxurious car, or spend only one hour of your day commuting to and from work but on the smelliest, hottest, most crowded bus ride that’s ever existed?

50. Would you rather have a ten-hour car ride with someone you absolutely cannot stand or a thirty-hour car ride with someone you absolutely love? TC mark

Here’s How I Got Done Being Broken Hearted

Posted: 24 Sep 2016 12:45 PM PDT

Thought.is
Thought.is

At the beginning of the summer, I was wrecked. I felt like a shell of myself — a shell of anyone, really, because I didn’t even feel like myself. I woke up, and all I could think about was when I looked over at my phone, there wouldn’t be a message from you. No “good morning” text, no late-night phone message, no snapchats. No nothing. And that thought was the only thing that seemed to stay with me through the day. Things would happen in my day, and my instinct was to tell you about them, but I couldn’t. So I’d text someone else, and be totally unfulfilled by that outcome, no matter how much I loved the friend on the other end of the text.

I’d eat dinner, make plans for the night, whatever. It didn’t feel like it mattered. I didn’t care what I did with my night. All I could think about was that you weren’t part of my night. And that feeling dominated me, so much so that I felt like I couldn’t possibly feel anything else.

So here’s what I did to stop being broken hearted. And you can say it’s lame or trite or overly simplistic, but I don’t care. It worked.

Every morning, I would have my best friend text me, “good morning, I love you.” It wasn’t the same, of course, but it was better than looking at a blank screen with no new messages in the morning. She did it every day for a month, so every day, I didn’t allow my first thought to be “he’s gone.” My first thought was that my friend had done something sweet for me.

Then, I’d force myself to plan my day, and write down what I was looking forward to. Again: pathetic? Maybe. But necessary. I decided that if I was numb, the best I could do was force myself to feel something. Anything. So by writing down what I was looking forward to, I would force excitement.

Every time I started to cry, I would take out my notebook and write down exactly what I was crying about. And after a while, even though I felt like a sap, even though I felt shitty and awful and undervalued and upset, I got all of the hurt out of my system and onto a page. And then I didn’t have to hold onto it anymore. It was a huge relief. It was like taking a weight off my shoulders.

I started to only make plans with people I liked, and cut all obligation plans out of my life. If my plans for the night involved people who didn’t make me feel good, or people I just didn’t care about who honestly didn’t make me feel anything at all, I would just not go. Or I’d just say no to the invitation. And yes, that’s flaky, but staying in and learning to be content and comfortable by myself helped me more than any of those plans would have. And when I did go out to dinner or to parties or over to friends’ houses, I went because I wanted to go, and I learned that I actually could feel and enjoy myself and be happy in other people’s company.

I don’t know what you were hoping to find when you opened this page, especially if you are someone who is going through a break up right now. Maybe you were looking for some story about great rebound sex. That isn’t how I got done being broken hearted though. I treated myself as well as I possibly could, and I allowed myself to deal with the hurt in a healthy and positive way, and little by little, it got better. And I really believe that that will happen to anyone going through a break up. After all, it worked for me. TC mark

What It Means To Love A Girl Who Will Never Be Perfect

Posted: 24 Sep 2016 12:15 PM PDT

mdyorke
mdyorke

I don’t want you all dolled up, eyeliner perfect, lipstick smudge-free, beginning of the night flawless. I don’t want you when I’m in heels and spanx and and posing with arms made to look skinny in front of cool walls to break 100 likes on Instagram.

I don’t want you when I’m coifed and answering questions the right way. I don’t want you when my nails are done and my teeth are whitened and my every pore has been removed thanks to FaceTune. I don’t want you with painted on smiles and perfect poses and hair that never seems to move.

I don’t want you when everything seems photographable.

I don’t want you when everything seems posed, forced, fake in a way.

I don’t want you when things are perfect.

Sure, I hope you’ll be around.

But I’d rather have you when things are a mess.

I’d rather you were mine when and where things are going to shit.

When I haven’t washed my hair in days, when I’m fighting a deadline and a lack of sleep. When I’m picking at my cuticles and judging myself for my inability to take absolutely anything seriously. When I’m an anxious mess and when I’m unsure of things even when they seem easy to you.

I’d rather have you when things are tough, instead of jumping to when they’re seemingly picture perfect.

Because an Instagram where we’re both poised just so and flashing smiles and wearing our best is nice.

But knowing you’ll be around when things aren’t as nice, and that you’re not afraid of what will show itself when the picture perfect fades?

That’s even better.

See, if I’m being totally honest, I’m not interested in the perfect. I’m not interested in the days when things are going well and we’re hashtag this and hashtag that. I’m not interested in the moments when I feel swept off my feet, or when I can’t catch my breath due to butterflies or emotions or what have you.

I’m interested in the other. The moments other people aren’t concerned with. The moments other people shrug off and choose to not think about.

I’m interested in the moments where I stop being funny and start being real. Where I stop putting on a show and start telling you who I am. Where I get anxious and you don’t get scared. Where I get sad and you get protective. Where I’m less than and you fill in the gaps.

I’m interested in the moments where I’m not what you’ve always dreamed of, but you still love me anyway.

Because here’s the thing:

I don’t want you just because it’s easy.

Easy is great. Easy is simple. Easy is..well…easy.

But real love, true love, absolute love? It comes with messy. It comes with flaws. It comes with cracks and breaks and damaged pieces and it makes the best of everything. Instead of saying, “What can I do with this?” It says, “Look at this mosaic I can make from all of these pieces.”

I understand that loving me won’t be for the faint of heart. It won’t be for the person who’s never seen a hurricane or experienced being anything other than the boy from the bar. I understand that it’s not going to be all fun all the time, and I understand that loving me is not for everyone.

Which is why, if you choose to love me, I expect that you’ll love the imperfect as much as I do.

I expect you’ll love me when I’m dolled up, and I expect that you’ll love me when I’m in sweatpants. I expect that you’ll love me when I’ve painted my face with $50 makeup and I expect that you’ll love me when all I’ve managed to do is splash some water on my cheeks before heading back to bed. I expect you’ll love me at my skinny jeans and you’ll love me in my overalls. I expect you to love me when I’m completely coifed and poised, and I expect you to love me when I can’t find my hairbrush and I’m at a loss for words to accurately describe what I’m feeling.

Babe, I don’t expect you to love every moment, but I do expect you to love me.

So no.

I don’t want you when I’m all dolled up. I don’t want you when my eyeliner is untouchable and I know that every Insta is going straight to the triple digit likes or when I feel my most lovable.

I hope I get you then, but it’s not when I want you.

I want you in the other moments. The messy moments.

The moments when I am my most unlovable.

And I hope, just maybe, that those are the moments when you want me too. TC mark

23 One Sentence Reminders For Anyone Who Knows They Have A Greater Purpose In Life

Posted: 24 Sep 2016 11:45 AM PDT

@marjramos
@marjramos

1. Your purpose is what you do with each moment of your life – the big things are just small things, done over and over again.

2. You do not have to know what your purpose is to be already living it out.

3. There is no purpose that is greater than another, we all affect one another in mysterious and invisible ways.

4. Your skills are not random, they show you what you’re here to work with.

5. The things you worry about are not random, they show you what you’re here to work toward.

6. Your greatest happiness will not come from being comfortable, it will come from being useful.

7. You are not here to be happy all the time, you are here to create and appreciate, two things that tend to arise from discomfort.

8. You will help people more by changing yourself than by telling people how to change themselves.

9. You will inspire more people by being yourself than telling others to be themselves.

10. Everything that happens to you is a resource, it is showing you a part of yourself and forcing you to think in a way you never would have before.

11. You are always growing, so it’s not about whether or not you’re moving forward, but which direction you’re going.

12. Your entire life does not need to unfold today.

13. What you think about you will bring about; what you focus on you will continue to create.

14. Your power, therefore your purpose, mostly resides in how you think.

15. Your purpose is not just that you do one specific thing, but how you go about doing everything.

16. It’s not about how perfect you appear, it’s about how you rationalize your actions and how you mend mistakes when you make them.

17. The most powerful work is that which is done willingly without applause.

18. You do not need applause to be doing purposeful work.

19. You can always decide what you want your purpose to be, and it’s best if you choose something that helps others and makes you feel alive.

20. Purposeful work is not always fun.

21. That does not mean you can’t choose to love it anyway.

22. Your purpose happens in the moment, not in ideas of the past or future or how you appear to others.

23. When all is said and done, people care far less about what you’ve accomplished than they do how you treat others. TC mark