Thought Catalog

Do That Thing With Your Tongue

Posted: 03 Sep 2016 06:15 PM PDT

Giulia Bersani
Giulia Bersani

Do that thing with your tongue that makes me forget that you're a bad guy. Like a really, really bad guy. But in that moment when we're just two naked people fulfilling our physical needs instead of emotional. Even though we're not on the same level in our minds, our bodies clearly didn't get that memo. And the way they fit together is heaven.

Do that thing with your tongue that makes me stop thinking about the future and live in the here and now. Because I never live in the here and now. But with you everything momentarily stops and all I care about is this. This raw need to be nothing but vulnerable with you.

Do that thing with your tongue that makes me remember that my body isn't as disgusting that I sometimes perceive it to be. You touching me like this makes me stop looking into the mirror and pointing out every single flaw. It makes me stop thinking I'm just a little too soft in places I should be more tone.

Do that thing with your tongue that makes me momentarily lose my breath. Not in that cute, you stopped my heart because you're so adorable way. But in that breathless sexy way that only you can do when you're making me feel like the most beautiful person in the world. When we're in nothing but skin and letting ourselves indulge in each other.

Do that thing with your tongue that makes that temporarily makes me insane. Like the kinda crazy that's actually scary. The one that makes me start to think that this is more than what we're doing right now. And even though we have deal to use each other's bodies every once and a while, my brain when you're doing that thing with your tongue forgets to disconnect my heart from our actions.

Do that thing with your tongue that takes all the lonely out of me. Those nights without you and I'm struggling to remember what skin to skin contact feels like are difficult. And even though I'd rather suffer through them alone because I know doing it with you would only be disappointment, in these rare occasions we're together the lonely temporarily disappears. You are the best temporary fix.

Do that thing with your tongue that makes me scream your name.

A name I hate saying out loud in any other situation. Because I can see my friends' faces when I mention you. They know how bad you are for me but they don't get to see us in these moments. And while logically I know everything they're saying is right, the pure unfiltered sex that oozes out of your pores pulls me in every time.

Do that thing with your tongue that reminds me that there is life after heartbreak. We're both coming off of some pretty shitty heartbreak. While I didn't cause yours and you didn't cause mine, when we're together we forget about those other people who made us feel like we weren't enough to fight for. We weren't enough for their love anymore. Because our momentary rendezvous remind us that there's a chance for love again even if it's not with each other.

Do that thing with your tongue that makes me lose control. Of everything. On a good day, my need to control every situation is overbearing. But in that moment with you, you're in control. You're the boss. And I'm more than willing to hand the reigns to you. No one would believe you if you told them I let you be in charge. But I'm fine being submissive in this case.

Do that thing with your tongue that reminds me why this will continue to be my secret. Because you are a secret. Even if it doesn't seem that way. I keep it under wraps because I know exactly the judgements that would follow if I told anyone. And while my friends, my real close friends would try to understand, they ultimately wouldn't. And I don't want anyone to tell me to not do this with you because right now I need it. I need you.

Do that thing with your tongue and keep doing that thing with your tongue. Keep doing it until we both can't do it anymore. Till we decide that this is no longer an arrangement that works. And when that day comes I'll be alright. I'll know in my heart why we couldn't. It'll be an ending to something that was always fleeting.

But until then please keep doing that thing with your tongue. TC mark

22 Men On The Most Unexpected Reason They’ve Been Attracted To Someone

Posted: 03 Sep 2016 05:15 PM PDT


1. "She looked exceptionally sexy in blue."

2. "She likes tacos. There's something about a woman that likes tacos."

3. "She understood me when I made a reference to an episode of Spongebob."

4. "She had a genuine smile. It just got me."

5. "She was downright nerdy."

6. "I was expressing my opinion amongst a group of friends, and after I finished she told me to 'Shut up and sit down.' It was a strange mix of feels. Knocked me off my feet."

7. "She was mean. I don't know how else to explain it, but I saw her being a downright bitch and I don't know, it was hot."

8. "Her dancing. She could work to any beat."

9. "I bumped into her and she snapped at me. It was pretty rude but there was something about how her lip curled up that just made her so attractive."

10. "The way she said the word 'thirty.' She has this Russian accent. It's incredibly hot."

11. "Her short hair. I've always been into girls with long hair, but her hair was short and falling in her face and damn. It was f*cking hot."

12. "This sounds weird as f*ck, but I took this girl to dinner and I was honest to God attracted to the way she ate. She, like, took these tiny bites and wiped her mouth in-between. It was something else."

13. "She always matched her purse or bag or whatever with her shoes. So weird, but it was just this thing she always did."

14. "The most random thing I've ever been attracted to is how my girl sleeps. When we first started talking, she was over at my place watching TV. She fell asleep on the pillow next to me and watching her sleep—it was just, I don’t know. I swear I fell in love right there."

15. "The fact that she eats junk food."

16. "How my girl braids her hair. She can do it without looking. I don't know, I find it really sexy."

17. "Her shoes. They were these neon yellow Nikes. A girl with good shoes—that's a must."

18. "Her glasses. I've always had a schoolgirl fantasy."

19. "I was attracted to her hands. She has these thin hands and her nails are always done and natural. They do something for me."

20. "The way she handles situations. Random, I know, but she's always calm. I like that."

21. "She kissed me on the cheek. The first girl that has ever done that and it made me feel some type of way."

22. "She had this laugh that was like a f*cking hyena but it was great. I couldn't stop laughing whenever she did." TC mark

I Will Not Love You When You Leave

Posted: 03 Sep 2016 04:15 PM PDT

Sophia Sinclair
Sophia Sinclair

Lately I have learn to see the inevitability of things like the sun setting, the flowers dying, the leaves falling, and you leaving.

I love deeply and with everything I have. I am willing to throw caution into the wind and follow you to the end of the earth if you will let me. I can get on my knees and cling onto you like a child and sob with open abandon to beg you to stay if I know that will change your mind.

Nothing will.

So instead, I close my eyes and look away to shield the raw, half-crazed pain from you. I bite my lips, dig my nails into my skin, and nod in quiet acknowledgement at your awkward goodbye.

Letting the words die off in my throat.
Letting our love die a natural death.

The way you loved me was quiet. You held my hand when no one was around. You had no qualm telling me every single thing from your hobbies to your daily routines but clamped up when it came to matters of the heart.

You might be physically close with me but I always felt like you were out of reach. You felt too unworldly and good for me. Even your confession of love although uttered sincerely, I never believed a single word. You eyes so warm and loving yet all I could see were a distant future when your love run cold and those eyes grew hard.

When it finally did, when you uttered those cold fatal words, the tears finally fell. My stone heart started to feel a flicker of emotion.

For your cold words were the most heartfelt words I ever heard from you. They felt the most truthful.

The way I loved you has always been in the past tense.

I commit every detail of your face, your smile, and your voice to my memory for eternity as through I know that one day, I will not see you anymore. When you form a routine with me, fear grips me as I imagined a day I would be forced to go on without you. When you profess your love, my blood turns to ice as I think of the uncertain future when you say the brutal words of how you don’t.

I have been waiting for you to slip up, to fail me, and to stop loving me. So go ahead and treat me coldly, ignore my existence, and walk out casually or create havoc when you leave.

I am well prepared.

Because before your love becomes loved, mine already did.

You may mean the world to me but you are not a part of mine. I could as easily remove you just as how you extinguish my hope. I do not need you to show me how I can be loved when I already am. I am a practical girl. I will not invest in something with no outcome. I will not waste my time in trying to convince you to.

I will not love you if you do not love me back. TC mark

No Matter Where This Ending Leaves Us, You’ll Always Be My Best Friend

Posted: 03 Sep 2016 03:15 PM PDT


I love you and only you. Not what you have, nor what you can give to me. I love you and your flaws; I love them wholeheartedly. Yes I’m scarred for life but, I will definitely heal.

I knew it was that bad when all I wanted to do after waking up was for the moon to rise so I could go back to bed again. I didn’t want to see the daylight anymore because it served as a certain reminder of the happiest days that you had given me.

But, it’s different now.

As time passed by, it made me realize that distance from you helped me so much in seeing the good in this. It helped me learn how to stand by myself again, and it taught me how to live everyday independently. I’ve always wanted your happiness over mine because I was happy when you were happy. It hurts to know that it came to this point where your happiness might have not included me anymore.

It was hard to start over again. It’s hard to go through the coming days knowing that a part of me is already gone. It’s hard to believe that it will never be the same anymore since we both made it all so realistic. I guess it’s now time to change plans for our future. Or now, maybe I’ll call it my future.

It’s not okay, but it’s okay. It may be hard to understand that, but you’ll see. I want to thank you for one hell of a ride.

I’m just blessed to have fallen in love with my best friend because from the very beginning, I never had to pretend to be someone I’m not.

I want you to know that I never loved you less after our love story. My love is still there but it has already been transformed into something better for us.

There are still nights when I cry. Well sometimes even in daylight, I cry too. I was so used to sharing my days, thoughts, and dreams with you. Then, I started to think about the cause of my tears. I miss you. I want you back but not in that way anymore. I want you back in my life. I want to live in a world where I get to keep you for good, and not in the world where we lost the fight. In a world where we won’t need to put ourselves in this situation ever again.

Best of friends, and that’s it. Maybe that’s what’s destined for us after all. In His perfect time, I hope and pray that the universe will do its thing so everything can fall to its place again. TC mark

Today I Decided To Let Myself Be Heartbroken

Posted: 03 Sep 2016 12:15 PM PDT

Audrey Reid
Audrey Reid

I fell apart today. I gave in.
I let the waves hit me
and I didn't even dig my feet in.
I let it all wash over me
and pull me apart in
all the ways I feared
losing you would do.

I didn't try to
prepare or give myself a
chance to breathe,
I just let myself shatter
on the ground because
here I am again,
wondering why all the things
I want to love
seem to end up here.

I know what happens to me-
all of the parts crack and fall,
scattering themselves
left and right,
I don't move.
I just let them all fall as they want.

Yet every other time,
I'm always in a hurry to
put myself back together.
Perhaps out of pride,
Because I don't want people to see the hurt.
Perhaps out of shame,
because I don't want
the people I love to see me like this.
Perhaps out of desperation,
because this hurts and
all I want it to do
is anything but hurt.

So I run around
trying to pick up
the jagged pieces,
running with bare feet
over my glass heart,
transparent for the rest of the world.
I pick up others
with bare hands
and try to fit pieces
back together,
all the while cutting myself,
bleeding all over the place.

I just ignore it,
ignore that this isn't healthy,
ignore that even if I successfully manage
to put me back together somehow,
my pain is still going to bleed
into the next new thing.
I always stain the next thing red
and pretend it's all part of the process.

Today I decided to be different.
I've fallen apart,
but I'm staying this way
for a while.
Not because I want to live
in a pity party for myself,
not because I'm a masochist
who loves the pain,
but because maybe for once,
I need to take this slowly.
I've never examined
all of these broken shards,
and I need to get to know them.
I need to hold each one in my hand,
carefully, easily,
in a way that lets me know
exactly where it needs to be
placed to bring me back together again.

I'm falling apart and staying like this
so that maybe even if it takes a long time,
I'll know when I build it back again
that it will be closer to what
I'm supposed to be,
instead of a haphazard shack
of what I've been lately.

I'll put myself back together
one day.
Yet today,
on a Thursday,
I've fallen apart and
I'm letting myself staying this way. TC mark

Enough With The ‘Boys Will Be Boys’ Thing

Posted: 03 Sep 2016 11:45 AM PDT

Redd Angelo
Redd Angelo

Any individual not currently living under a rock has probably heard the expression "boys will be boys."

It's an expression used when we decide to shrug our shoulders, roll our eyes, and chalk up the behavior of boys and men to their sex. It's no secret that the same concept doesn't quite apply to women (there's no "girls will be girls" expression floating around, last time I checked). From an early age, girls are taught that they will be held accountable for their actions, and often for the actions of men (more on that later). When it comes to boys and men, on the other hand, we continue to remain hesitant to ask much of them, particularly when it comes to relations between the sexes. Oh, he hit her on the playground? He probably just likes her. Boys will be boys! Oh, those men are making that woman feel uncomfortable by catcalling her? Boys will be boys!

I decided to write an article about this lovely expression and the implications contained therein because of something I recently witnessed in Colombia, where I am currently teaching English. Allow me to share it with you.

A few weeks ago, two women came to the vocational institute where I teach to give a lecture on "family planning." Prior to their talk, they asked my co-teacher if the class primarily consisted of women, because what they were about to discuss was mostly for the girls to hear. The women went on to give a slide show presentation on "family planning," during which they mostly addressed the women in the class, and even told them that if they had more than one sexual partner, they were "promiscuous." Somehow I doubt they would have said something like that to the male students, given that we celebrate men's sexuality and shame women for theirs.

A couple weeks after that talk, more women came to the school where I teach, to give a talk on "family planning," and once again asked my co-teacher, who is completely fluent in both Spanish and English and had been translating for me, if the class mostly consisted of female students. After their presentation, I decided to ask him about it: "Twice now people presenting on "family planning" have asked if we mostly teach female students, because they would mostly be addressing the girls in the class. Why is that? Why shouldn't this talk also be directed towards the boys?" He responded with something along the lines of, "Because we always just expect that men will want to have sex. Women, on the other hand, can say no to sex."

I couldn't help but think that that was the biggest load of bullshit I had heard in a while. Um, how about teaching young men that if they aren't ready to be fathers, they shouldn't have unprotected sex? What kind of message does it send to young women if "family planning" talks are so obviously directed at them versus their male peers? You, and you alone, are responsible for avoiding an unplanned or unwanted pregnancy. Once again, women have to bear the most responsibility in a case involving both sexes. Not only that, but teaching "family planning" in a way that essentially excludes young men and lets them off the hook tacitly condones a cycle of neglectful fathers, should unplanned pregnancies occur.

When my co-teacher said something like, "we always just expect that men will want to have sex," I couldn't help but be reminded of the phrase "boys will be boys." Why are we so quick to just expect certain things of boys and men, and so willing to excuse them in cases where we ask so much more of women? I understand that I witnessed something occur within the realm of a different culture, but I can't help but feel frustrated with something that I perceive as being fundamentally sexist. Furthermore, it's no secret that this sort of mentality is far from being unique to one country. It's widespread throughout the world.

Our society is more focused on telling women to avoid getting raped than telling men not to rape. We are more focused on why women stay in abusive relationships than why men abuse women in the first place. We are willing to teach "family planning" in a way that unfairly favors men over women and reflects our tendency to expect and propensity to celebrate the sexuality of one half of the population over the other. We need to get over our hesitancy to ask anything of men in such a wide variety of situations. Boys and men need to be held accountable for their actions, just like girls and women are.

Enough with the "boys will be boys" thing. TC mark

Follow Your Passions Instead Of Your Heart (Because In The End, It Leads You To The Same Place)

Posted: 03 Sep 2016 11:15 AM PDT

Elliott Dunning
Elliott Dunning

Maybe the phrase 'follow your dreams' is a little cliché, but I've always believed in it. I've always stood firm in the fact that when you chase what you love, passion-wise, you'll end up the happiest you've ever been. I think that's why I've always tried to keep myself busy. Throughout college I always had a to-do list of a million things, just so that I could accomplish a lot while still being a dreamer, while still finding time to write and draw and draft poems in the edges of all my notebooks.

I've always been a dreamer, but I've always been a lover too.

And as much as I believed in chasing passions, my heart finds itself getting in the way. I've thought about chasing men, too. Thought that maybe if I found the right one, our dreams would meld together. I thought that love would trump everything, and that my passions would just ooze into the holes where love wasn't, making me incredibly happy and completely whole.

But I was wrong.

I was wrong because I fell out of love, because I haven't yet found 'my person' and because I decided to chase my passions instead of a boyfriend and found that everything has fallen into place.

See, sometimes I think we give love too much credit. Yes, love is the thing that makes us human. Yes, love can pull us from the darkest of places. Yes, love connects us to others in unexplainable ways and changes our lives and brings us happiness.

But our passions do that too, sometimes more so.

Our passions make us unique, individual, complex humans. Our passions bring us out from depression, from loneliness, from fear. Our passions connect us to the world, help us find others like us, help us see the world differently. Our passions bring us pure bliss, and can sometimes bring us into love with others.

See, it's our passions that can save us. Love cannot.

It's crazy to hear myself think about these things, to write about them, to put them on paper. I've always been the girl who loves too deeply, cares too much, and is proud of that. But in the last few months I've realized that love comes to us when we least expect it.

Love isn't something you chase; it's something you discover when you're already living the life you're meant to, when you're already the woman or man you're supposed to be, or on the road to becoming that person.

Love is something you discover when you're chasing your passions, and too busy falling in love with yourself, with your life, with the things you do, to be looking for it.

You can't chase people, really. I mean, you can, if you know in your heart that you love them with everything in your soul. And you can if you know they're 'your person' because you can't get them out of your head.

But you can't chase people to find happiness. Happiness comes from within, and from pursuing what you love to do.

So don't follow your heart, that stupid little amazing muscle inside your chest. Don't follow it because you're lonely and because you think that love will make you whole. Don't follow it because you're lost and have no sense of who you are or where you should go.

Follow your passions, your dreams. Follow what keeps you up at night, or the things you can't stop doing even if you tried. Follow what makes your body light up, your soul spark, your mouth curve into a smile subconsciously.

This life is too short to not do what you love, and celebrate doing it.

Love will come. Love is all around you.

But first you must pursue what you love. Because in the end, you will be lead to the same place, and you will be happy. And your heart will be full. TC mark

I’m Trying To Forget You, But I Can’t Bear To Lose You

Posted: 03 Sep 2016 10:45 AM PDT


It’s April and I’m so happy because we’ve made it another year,
We kiss and make plans for the future.

It’s May and I don’t know how you’ve stayed this long,
You hold my hand and we take long walks in the rain to avoid my parents.

It’s June and you keep disappearing like the butterfly I just want one picture of,
just some proof it existed,
all I wanted was to know you still loved me.

It’s July and things are warmer now, not only the weather,
but things between us as well, we strip down and hide under the covers,
but little did I know, we couldn’t hide from the end.

It’s August and we’re having the same fights over the same friends
and at this point, I’m sure you don’t care about me.

It’s September and I’m begging for change, begging
for love from a boy who is disappearing as fast as summer.

It’s October now and you’ve been swallowed up by the cold inside your mind,
you’re almost completely gone when he arrives.

It’s November now and I give it one last chance,
I tell you your door is closing and I start holding his hand.

You don’t look at me the same, and he’s not you,
but he looks at me the way you used to.

It’s December and you say you can’t do it, you end things with those words,
but I’m still the one that leaves,
I can’t face you, I hide inside of him.

All arms and clothes and hair and I hug him so close that it hurts.
Because I am hurting you,
And he kisses me,
And he doesn’t kiss like you do,
His mouth is opened too wide and his lips aren’t as soft,
It’s like even our bodies are never on the same page.

I kiss him anyways,
I tell myself he is a completely new chapter,
There is no going back,
And later,
You ask about it,
You want to know if I’m moving on,
I tell you we’ve kissed already, that I’m forgetting you,
You never try to come back,
You’re a moth now,
You disappeared right after I turned off the light.

And he’s not you,
But he looks at me like you used to. TC mark

Here’s Hoping That Someday You See This

Posted: 03 Sep 2016 10:15 AM PDT

Screen Shot 2016-08-27 at 9.03.28 PM

Here's hoping that someday you see this.

That someday, you know that I didn't forget about you.

Because I didn't.

Even when you see the read receipt hit when you say that I'm still on your mind and for whatever reason, I don't say anything back. Even when I hear you've asked about me, and I don't reach out. Even when I feel the familiar static of my body rejecting vulnerability and missing you coursing through my veins.

I still didn't.

Here's hoping that someday you see this.

That someday, you can finally hear everything I never said.

Because there's a lot.

Like I never said that I don't hate you. That I forgive you. That I don't blame you. That the only person I've ever admitted that I loved you to is my therapist. That I miss your smile. And the way you smell. And the way you held my hands when you would fall asleep. That I miss your family. And I hope you're safe. And I hope someday you are actually happy and self-assure and you know how much you’re capable of and how much you could accomplish if you just believed in yourself for a chance.

Because I don't hate you. And I do forgive you. And I don't blame you. And I did love you. And you can do anything.

Here's hoping that someday you see this.

And you can realize, that I remember everything.

I remember everything about us. About you.

Like when we would ride on your bike around town and kiss right next to the train as it blew past us at 3 AM. And when you would crawl into my bed all sweaty and smoky and wrap yourself around me in the summer. How you held me in your arms when I finally told you why I built up these walls and what happened when I was 17. And how you'd never force me to say anything but would just light candles and play Michael Bublé and sing while you cooked in my kitchen and kissed me in between stanzas and sauces.

I remember the fights, but I remember the making up. I remember the tears, but I remember the heart. I remember the struggle, but I remember the ease.

I remember everything.

And I remember you.

Here's hoping that someday you see this.

That someday, we can both get the closure we need.

That someday, we can both know that we did in fact matter.

That we can know that all of the screaming, all of the hostility, all of the mess, all of the heartbreak, was worth it. That we can know that you didn't just choose her because she wasn't me, but that you chose her because she was what you needed at the time. That you can know I didn't shut you out because I was punishing you, I was just protecting myself. That you can know, that you were everything to me, even if only for a little while.

Because maybe someday, we'll be okay.

Instead of hoping that you saw this, I'll know. And instead of texting my friends that I want to text you, I'll just say hi instead. Instead of trying to force myself to remember your smile, I'll see it. And instead of hoping, it'll just be.

But for now…

Here's hoping that someday you see this.

And here's hoping, that that same someday is the day when it will be exactly what you need. What we need.

Someday.TC mark

You’re The Only One Who Has To Live Your Life, So Live It However The Hell You Want

Posted: 03 Sep 2016 09:15 AM PDT


People are always going to tell you how to feel, how to think, how to react, how to believe, how to choose.

People are always going to tell you how to live your life.

Sometimes the advice is helpful, sometimes it’s coming from people whom you admire and people whom you care about. Sometimes it’s not. Regardless of who it’s coming from, they can say whatever they want – but at the end of the day, you’re the person who will most directly live with the consequences of whatever decision you make.

At the end of the day, you’re the only person who has to live the life that everyone else is chiming in on.

In the age of sharing (and oversharing), our barriers are down. Our lives feel more intertwined than ever. We trade opinions and beliefs and photos and personal news and life milestones back and forth in nanoseconds.

And that means that sometimes, the viewpoints and perspectives of dozens of people (if not more) can feel overwhelmingly suffocating as they come crashing down on you. 

So it’s natural to try to please everyone. To sweat out even the smallest of decisions in your life as you contemplate what everyone is going to think about your choices, and even more terrifying: what everyone is going to think about you.

It’s not wrong for people to have opinions, to have advice to give you, to have a specific perspective on your life. It’s natural. It’s what makes it possible that there are over 7 billion people living on this planet and that each person is still completely unique from the next. Sometimes it’s wonderful advice. Sometimes it’s an incredibly helpful perspective. And of course, other times it’s neither.

But the important thing is that, no matter what, you have to take it all with a grain of salt. You have to remember that you are one of over 7 billion people on this planet, and that no one else will ever have the job of living your life other than you. 

And that means that you have to listen to yourself above anyone else. That you can keep your mind and your heart open, you can learn from others’ mistakes, you can listen to the advice of those who have lived longer than you or in a different way than you, you can maintain the mindset that everyone you meet has something to teach you. But you also have to have the final say. You have to make choices and stick by decisions and come to certain conclusions based on what you believe, based primarily on your gut and what your body is telling you to do.

Learn from others. Listen to others. Respect others. Admire others. But when it comes to living your specific life, remember that no one else can do it for you. TC mark