Thought Catalog

10 People Reveal What It Was Like Actually Banging A Real Life MILF

Posted: 07 Sep 2016 10:00 PM PDT


Responses quoted from R/AskReddit


I didn’t sleep with her but did fool around with a buddies mom. We were in college and he was one of the last of us to turn 21. His mom was a very cute (not porn milfy but just a very attractive woman) in her mid 40s who had been divorced about three years at that point.

She and a few of her friends came out with us for his bday. We got a limo for the night provided by her and went bar hopping. He got obliterated of course and had to be sent home by cab with two of our buddies around midnight.

The rest of us got pretty drunk and at the end of the night we took the limo and went around dropping people off. I lived farthest from the bar area so was dropped off last, besides friends mom who rented the limo.

We had been a bit touchy feely even before we were alone but she turned it up a lot. We opened some champagne and did a toast and she sat next to me and kind of threw her leg over me.

We flirted for a bit then bam, we kissed. We made out for a bit and she straddled me. She got topless and I played with her boobs for a while. I tried to finger her but the angle was awkward so we kinda laid down.

I fingered her for a couple min but before she got off she got up and pushed me back. She gave me head, which was awesome although I was super hammered and everything is a bit blurry. Before we could go further we got to my house.

She freaked the fuck out the next day and called and made me promise to never tell her son and said it was fun but could never happen again.


Spent the night at a friend’s house. I was told I could sleep in his mom’s bed because she was going to be out most of the night and would crash on the couch. I went to bed at 2ish. She came home, showered and went bed at like 3ish. I woke up to random cuddles when she climbed in bed and a “It’s fine just go back to sleep”. Nothing really happened but she made pancakes in the morning and we never spoke of it.

I don’t think my friend was aware of it except to deliver the message that “Mom thinks your a good friend and can stay again whenever.”

Unfortunately we went to different schools next year so that never happened again.


I slept with my mom’s military friend. I was only 16 and she thought I was in my 20s even though I looked 10… I know she wasn’t lying cause she cried when I told her my age.


I slept with the mother of a high school kid I coached. I was only 21 at the time, he was 18. We had gone to the same high school and I was mentoring him, as well as recruiting him to play at the same college as me once he graduated. I would consider him a friend because I saw a lot of myself in him, and he was mature for his age. He invited me over for a bbq, I stayed for awhile talking to his mother to discuss university plans.

Eventually, the son decided to go to sleep early, he said he was tired from two a day practices. I stayed to talk to his mother, she was very thankful for all I had done and was filling my stomach with food and drinks. We both got drunk, one thing led to another and she took me up to her bedroom. About 5 minutes into it, I caught a glimpse of a picture hanging above the bed, which was of her son. I started to feel guilty and couldn’t stop looking at the picture, weird, I know. As I lost focus from having sex, distracted, I ended up smashing my skull into the headboard of the bed. It hurt, a lot. I stopped for a moment to realize that I was bleeding all over the place, in a panic, I yelled and asked her where the washroom was. I ran outside to the hallway naked, I guess the son had heard all the commotion and came outside.

We ran into each other right outside the bedroom, locked eyes, sighed and went back into his room. He stopped talking to me at practices and eventually decommited from my university. I still feel bad to this day.


Ya. A mom of a girl from a group of friends. We were in our late twenties. One night I wasn’t digging the club, just not feeling it. Went outside to try to get some air hoping I’d feel like going back inside. Struck up a convo with a lady there who was also not feeling it. Decided to hit up Denny’s. Then my house. Then I was in bed with a 40 plus lady and it was great.

Next morning she thanks me for a great night and makes it clear it was a one nighter and leaves. Fast forward to a big summer party at the house of the girl I mentioned earlier. Halfway through the night her mom comes home with a few friends to party with us. Ya it’s her. She’s a tiny bit surprised to see me but says nothing, at first. A few drinks later and she’s a mess. Pulls aside her daughter to ‘confess’.

Daughter hates her newly divorced moms habits and loses it. She comes at me fists flying, I take a couple weak shots to the face before another girl grabs her and they start a screaming match, about me and her mom fucking. Like I purposely fucked her mom to embarrass her. Then she remembers that her and I made out once a year or so prior and now it’s ‘ I turned you down so you went after my mom’. Messy night.

I left with friends and they all thought it was too funny. I walked away with a great story. The girl and her mom had a falling out triggered by that night and the daughter moved to Toronto shortly after that with her dad. The mom, now with nothing holding her back, became a cougar on the prowl for a few years and eventually settled down with a cool dude about 15 yrs younger than her. I still bump into her once in a while and she’s settled into old age rather well.

The daughter and I now message each other once in a while. She’s sorry she hit me. I’m not sorry about any of it. Although my friends bring it up a little too often :) I don’t mind because it’s funny.


I slept with my buddy’s mom after seeing her at the club downtown. I kept it a secret for years until he poisoned me. I ended up getting him back by having a cookie made to break the news that I had sex with her.


Also, the chocolate on the cake was a laxative.


I slept with my life long friend’s mom when I was younger and it was pretty amazing. Here’s how it went down:

She asked me to fix her computer as it was being slow. A common occurrence among my friends and family as I was pretty computer savvy back when I was younger. Opened up Internet Explorer and she had about 11 toolbars and instantly I knew what the problem was. I made a joke about visiting shady porn sites and she just let out a nervous chuckle and we went about the task.

Somewhere along the line I downloaded something to clean the malware and was trying to find her download folder so I opened up a few folders and there it was. Large thumbnails of her nude. At this point she’s in the kitchen with said friend making us snacks of some sort.

I get curiously aroused and open up a couple and bask in their glory. Suddenly I can feel something strange and glance behind me and there she was. Like a ninja. Didn’t hear her coming at all. I’m so beat red and to embarrassed to even say anything now. Felt like she was there just smiling nervously for hours but it was probably a few seconds. She took a peek into the kitchen from her bedroom door and came back over. Took the mouse and closed the open picture, bent down and whispered “There’s some better ones in this folder,” and walked out.

I’m just sitting there so nervous I’m shaking and sweating at this point so I just close everything. Run the program. Remove the malware and tool bars and walk out of the room. Without making eye contact with either of them I tell her the job is done and she excitedly thanks me about 30 times and my buddy and I head downstairs to covertly smoke some weed. The entire remainder of the night felt awkward as all hell and I think I said about 9 words to him the whole time. So it’s late and we crash out.

Next morning we sleep to about noon as stoners usually do on a lazy weekend. We smoke another joint and head upstairs to eat something. His mom was bugging us about the smell of the basement and making jokes about how we’re probably going to end up sitting around watching stupid cartoons all day now like usual. Then the phone rings. She talks for a bit in German and comes back over and says my buddy has to go help his elderly grandma do something at her old people home so she’ll drive him there and drop me off at home afterwards.

We get in the car. She drives him there and he gets out. Then she starts heading towards my place and looks back with a smile and turns on to a road going the other direction. Drives us back to my buddy’s place and tells me to follow her for a nice chat. I figured I was going to get the third degree about snooping into her pictures. We get inside and she almost immediately drops her shirt and asks me if it’s better in real life. I’m just completely stunned and trying to make words come out of my mouth but it was probably just gibberish. She then takes my hand brings me to her room and tells me, “not a goddamn word to ( friends name ) ok ? I just nodded and she began to strip down and kiss me and tell me how she thought about a younger guy and thought about it being me the previous night and it turned her on.

We had the most glorious sex. Well for me anyway. Pretty sure I came about 11 times. She was older and had an aged face but that body was amazing. Her vag was tighter than I’ve ever felt too. We finish up. She drives me home and we never mentioned a word about it for probably like 6 or 7 years. There were some awkward days after that, let me tell you. Never mentioned a word of it to my friend either. He’s still my best friend. Known him 27 of my 28 years on this planet.


I’ve been sleeping with my mom’s old work friend.

I’m 25 male. She is 40 We have been fucking here and there for over a year. We just text each other when we wanna meet up. Do our business. And leave.

It all started when she came into my work and said she moved back to town that week after her divorce was finalised.

We went out later that week and had sex at her mom’s place. (it was where she was staying and her parents were staying at their summer home in arizona)

Since then we have done it in a hotel. My car. My house. Her house. Her car. It’s been nuts.

I always regret it soon after. Maybe because she isn’t as hot as she was when I was 15 and met her. Talking with her is just boring too. I definitely don’t want to date her or anything.

Also she is OK in bed. Not amazing. And not shitty.


I got a BJ from my then-girlfriend’s mom when I was 17 or 18. I would mow their lawn sometimes, and was over there doing that one day while my GF was at work. When I was done, I went in for a drink.

I’m chitchatting with my GF’s divorced, 40-something mom, totally innocent, and out of nowhere, she says, “So, how’d you like it if I sucked your cock?” I was shocked, and just kind of mumbled out, “Uh, well, um… OK”, and she went to town.

She wasn’t exactly a MILF, but she gave great head. I was just kind of going back and forth in my mind between “Holy shit, this is amazing” and “What the fuck is happening?!” I finished, she swallowed, and said, “It’s probably time for you to head home. Let’s just not tell [GF] about this, right?”

I went home, never told anyone, it was never spoken of again, and nothing else ever happened.


I slept with my mom’s old supervisor years after they worked with each other (she was actually my boss at the time). She was married, it’s never been made known. I also slept with an ex’s mom after years of flirting with her. We were all over at her (the mom) house playing cards and drinking, the ex got really drunk and my good friend (now her husband) took her home. We chatted for a bit at the table, moved to the couch to “watch a movie” and she “got scared” and grabbed onto me and got close. Took about 2 minutes after that for the kissing to start.

The only thing that really happened there was that no one trusts me around their moms anymore (jokingly but a few are definitely serious, and they should be ’cause they got some hot, single moms). I’m sure I’ll never get another booty call from the daughter (her and my good friend are now divorced). I was 20 when I was with my boss (then 42, I think), and I was 32 when I slept with the ex’s mom (she just turned 50). Both were great but the first one went too long and it became like a relationship which just wasn’t cool given our line of work/proximity. TC mark

24 People Reveal The Dirty Details Behind Their Sluttiest Hookup Ever

Posted: 07 Sep 2016 08:00 PM PDT

Flickr / Mario Antonio Pena Zapater
Flickr / Mario Antonio Pena Zapater

Out on the internet there is a Twitter account called “Hookup Confessions” that takes confessions from ANYONE about a hookup that they’ve had. These aren’t typically run-of-the-mill hookups, these are typically dirty, nasty, scandalous hookups. Here are 24 of the craziest we could find:

























It’s a crazy world out there. TC mark

Why I Crave Your Imperfect Love

Posted: 07 Sep 2016 07:00 PM PDT

 Asaf R
Asaf R

"I want you. All of you. Your flaws. Your mistakes. Your imperfections. I want you, and only you." — Anonymous.

Our love is not a story from 'Mills and Boons’, there have been times we have thrown words, like knives at each other. There have been tons of hours we haven’t spoken to each other and silent treatment has been resorted to.

However that doesn’t take away the fact that with you I can brave through any phase of life and even walking through the netherworld holding your hand, is something I would gladly do.

Our fights make me cry and leave me with a feeling of being lost in a jungle of scary emotions. I become vulnerable and I feel angry with you for turning your back on me, but I know that this is a passing chapter of our lives and we will be back in each other’s arms soon. It is this reassurance that makes me hold on to you. It is your stupid smile in the middle of our kiss that makes me fall in love with you all over again. If given a choice I wouldn't wish for it any other way, because it is this flawed erroneous love that keeps the magic of our imperfect love going.

I don’t want to sound like a resident of Narnia and say that my life has been a bed of roses ever since I bumped into you. There are times when we have driven each other up the wall and millions of moments we can't get across to each other; it probably is these unsaleable flashes that make our love for each other IMPERFECTLY PERFECT.

Perfection is vapid and monotonous; it is for those who live by book, for those who live life with just one color. I love living off the edge and You My Dear, Are My Perfect Imperfection.

It is this acceptance of our flaws that make our love real at every level because perfection is just a myth, an illusion that only cowards would want to believe in.

I want u with all your flaws. I want you with all the scars and mistakes you carry from the past, because it is these imperfections that make you the only truth I want to believe in.

While I may have the definition of this 4 letter overrated emotion, "LOVE", totally wrong, all I know is that with you, the imperfect ‘Me’ becomes the perfect ‘US’. TC mark

This Is Why I Won’t Text You Back

Posted: 07 Sep 2016 06:00 PM PDT

Hector Martinez
Hector Martinez

If you do not hear from me, this is what my radio silence means.

It means that I love you so I can’t. Can’t tell you. Can’t burden you with my feelings. Because you do not feel the same way. Or maybe you used to but that love has expired. Dissolved into thin air. Faded with the passing of time.

You used to react to my bold confession with a beaming wide grin or a shy smile across your blushing face, you used to exclaim enthusiastically back how you love me, you used to squeeze my hand and hug me tightly to show your appreciation, you used to say how I was your pillar of support and strength, now all you feel is heavy guilt and responsibility chained towards me.

You no longer love me or want to be with me.

Your eyes shift down looking at anywhere except me and when our gazes meet, I have to will myself not to flinch away at the blank nothingness there. When you speak, the words are carefully crafted and diplomatic. As if we are conducting a business transaction. As if you are trying your hardest to do the right thing. To let me down easy.

And because I love you, because I love myself more, I will not tell you how much you meant and still mean to me.

If you do not hear from me, it means that I am too afraid to tell you how I really feel. It may be too late now, but I knew right from the start that you were everything I wanted. You still have all the qualities I admire. The steely determination to go after what you want. The crystal clear vision you have for your future. The compassion and kindness you have to do the right thing. You are still all that I dream of and I am utterly crazy over you. But for some reasons, you always feel so out of reach. So out of my league. I feel that it is delusional of me to think that you will ever want me back. I feel that it is all a one-sided unrequited love of my part.

So instead of telling you, I choose to let the words die.

If you do not hear from me, it means that I want you too much for it to be safe. Your words curt and cold cut me like a knife. Your inconsistency lights an uncomfortable flame inside me that threaten to destroy all that I hold dear. Your ghost of a smile haunts me as I realize bleakly how much I have grown to care for you. So I decide I am done. Done caring. Done idealizing you.

Done breaking my own heart to want someone who won’t want me back. TC mark

16 Men Tell Us What Flaws Make Their Significant Other Special To Them

Posted: 07 Sep 2016 05:00 PM PDT

H Influencer Collective / Alivia Latimer
H Influencer Collective / Alivia Latimer

1. “I love her stretch marks. They are signs of growth and of maturity. She always tries to hide them from me, which I will never understand.” — Mark, 30

2. “I’m obsessed with my girlfriends gap in between her two front teeth.” — Peter, 25

3. “I adore my wife’s thighs. And no, she doesn’t have a thigh gap.” — Rob, 35

4. “My girl’s button nose is the cutest thing I have seen in my entire life.” — Stephen, 23

5. “Her stomach rolls. There is nothing sexier than a woman with curves.” — Adam, 28

6. “She despises her moles and freckles, but I think it gives her character. It separates her from all those plastic barbie wannabe’s out there.” — Luc, 27

7. “My wife has a pretty decent sized scar on the left side of her cheek from a car crash. She used to hide it with cover up, but I told her I liked it better without all that makeup.” — Alex, 33

8. “My wife’s curls. She ALWAYS straightens her hair and I don’t get it. Her curls drive me absolutely insane (in the best way).” — Kelly, 30

9. “My girlfriend has always complained about how thin her lips were. But to me, it was always something I loved about her. So many girls these days are getting lip injections, and I think natural beauty is always the way to go.” — Chris, 25

10. “As we have aged, of course we have gotten more wrinkles. My wife is so embarrassed and mortified by them and I always tell her, “honey, don’t you want to show the world that you’ve laughed more than a lot of people their lives? Don’t you want to show off the great life that you have lived thus far”?” — Randy, 50

11. “My girlfriend’s pale skin. She always looks like an angel.” — Jack, 22

12. “I love her most when she is without makeup. Despite the acne scars and markings, I really do believe she is so much more beautiful without piling on that crap.” — Drew, 26

13. “Her tiny eyelashes. I don’t know why, but I think they are so cute and delicate to look at.” — Miles, 23

14. “I adore her crooked smile. It was one of the first things I noticed about her. I wouldn’t call it love at first sight, but it definetely was something special.” — Tim, 21

15. “Her chicken legs. There is something so delicate and precious about them.” — Adam, 27

16. “I am obsessed with my wife’s crooked teeth. Every time she smiles, I can’t help but smile too. Whenever she mentions anything to me about getting veneers, I tease her and tell her I’d divorce her if she ever did that.”— Richard, 37 TC mark

23 Micro ‘Firsts’ That Are So Much Better Than Anything Sexual

Posted: 07 Sep 2016 04:30 PM PDT


1. When you stop thinking twice about the exact wording of every text or hesitating before hitting send because you're past the point of all that nonsense.

2. When your partner actually picks up the phone and calls you with nothing to say other than "How's your day?"

3. When your partner introduces you to someone they know as their girlfriend or boyfriend and you sigh with relief that you're on the exact same page.

4. When the very mention of your partner's name makes you smile wide and your stupid happy look doesn't go unnoticed by the person who inquired.

5. When you witness something hilarious and your first thought is that you wish you partner was there to experience the awesomeness with you.

6. When literally everything starts to remind you of your significant other in some small but important way.

7. When your significant other chooses to hang out with you instead of doing something they love with a friend and you can't help feeling like you've kind of won.

8. When you find yourself declining an invitation to do something fun because you'd honestly rather be with your boyfriend or girlfriend.

9. When you come home earlier than expected and you can see and feel your significant other's sincere delight at the chance to spend yet more time in your presence.

10. When you catch them staring at you with those crazy eyes that basically say, "I adore you and I'm yours for good."

11. When you can poop at their place without a care because you know that lingering icky scent will probably be viewed as endearing.

12. When you start sniffing them whenever you can because doing so leads to the most amazing comfort high.

13. When the simple act of wearing their t-shirt or sleeping on their side of the bed brings you such deep satisfaction.

14. When you catch someone checking your partner out randomly and your immediate reaction reflects a degree of jealousy you've never before experienced before because you’re that invested in your relationship and you’ll do whatever it takes to protect it.

15. When you overhear your significant other describing your relationship in a super positive way to a friend or coworker.

16. When that first couple-y photo of you goes live on social and your heart flutters a little with every single like it generates.

17. When you start calling each other "babe," or, better yet, some weird petname specific to your relationship.

18. When a big night out goes horribly wrong but you just don't care because you'd rather go home and chill together instead.

19. When you overhear your significant other on the phone with their mom or dad and you can tell they just asked about you, which means that you're officially part of the parent-child catch-up conversation.

20. When a friend or family member comments on the fact that you seem so damn happy these days and you know it's because you've finally found your forever person.

21. When you're forced to spend time apart and you realize just how much less fun literally everything is without them.

22. When "I love you" starts to seem insufficient in articulating just how much you treasure your connection so you start saying grandiose things like "you are my world" instead.

23. When their place starts to feel as much (or more) like home as yours, so the only reasonable thing to do is cohabit. TC mark

Don’t Fall For The Guy Who Doesn’t Deserve You

Posted: 07 Sep 2016 04:00 PM PDT

Mateus Lunardi Dutra
Mateus Lunardi Dutra

Don't fall for the guy who isn't sure of what he feels for you. You will end up questioning every single thing he says or does, not knowing what his intentions are. You will end up being confused and not knowing what to do, what to say or how to act towards him. Before he pursues you, he should know and be sure of the feelings that he has for you. He should know what his intentions are and make it clear to you. You don't deserve to have your feelings played with and be left in a confused state.

Don't fall for the guy who pursues you only for the sake of having a girlfriend. You deserve to be wanted and to be loved genuinely. If you fall for a guy who pursues you for the sake of having someone to call his "girlfriend", it's not worth it. Trust me. Fall for the guy who pursues you because he wants and loves you for who you are.

Don't fall for the guy who controls you. You are a strong, independent woman. Repeat after me. I am a strong, independent woman. If he tells you what to wear, how to act, what to say, who to spend time with, how you should spend your time or what to do, leave. You shouldn't be controlled to the point where you can't do or way what you want. You will only be left feeling like you're in a prison, having every single move that you make feel as if you are being controlled and being robbed of your freedom. You will end up not feeling yourself. You will end up not being yourself.

Don't fall for the guy who doesn't support you. As a person, surely you have your goals and dreams in life. And it is important that the man who means most to you should be able to support them. Don't fall for the guy who doesn't support you because you might end up giving up your dreams for his sake. You will not feel like pursuing your dreams and goals because the one person who's support means most to you, can't give you the support you need. Fall for the guy who will support you and encourage you to reach for your goals and to dream even more.

Don't fall for the guy who doesn't pray for you. I believe that if a man prays for you, it shows how serious he is about you. Imagine a man talking to God about you. Feels good isn't it? It shows how much he values you and values God's opinion about the two of you. If he doesn't run to God, it says a lot about who he is as a person. A man who prays for you is not only pursuing you as a girlfriend, but also as a wife. After all, relationships should end in marriage. Why waste your time in a relationship that will only end in heartbreak? Don't fall for a man who doesn't pray for you because without God's guidance, how will he be able to love you genuinely and treat you with care that a daughter of God deserves? TC mark

He’s Not Worth Texting Back If He’s Doing Any Of These 5 Things

Posted: 07 Sep 2016 03:00 PM PDT


Texting: the preferred method of communication for most young people.

Personally, I hate it. If I meet a new guy and we start a conversation through text, I hand my phone over to one of my friends. If you're a guy and I've texted you it most likely wasn't me. I prefer the old school communication, the in-person real life type of shit. There are all these rules and thousands of different ways to read into a text, punctuation marks, and length of time in between responses. I think it's a crock of shit, although many of us choose to play into all of the games.

Over the years I've chosen to not answer a text and I've also had a guy not answer my text. After many instances of denying others and also being denied myself, I've come up with a number of reasons to why you aren't getting a text back.

1. He's busy.

So he's not glued to his phone. You shouldn't be either. Of course, it's great when you both are free and have that extra time to continue the conversation back and forth. However, you shouldn't assume the other person is on the same schedule as you. The other person might not have the time to sit there and talk with you back and forth. If he wants to talk to you, though, he will answer eventually. If he doesn't, then it is because of at least one of the additional reasons below.

2. He doesn't know how to respond.

Maybe you've asked a question he doesn't know how to answer. Perhaps he doesn't like where the conversation had headed and he doesn't know how to divert. Not knowing what to say or how to say it may default into a non-response. The thing with texting is that you have the option to not respond right away, even if you look at it. The other person has no way of knowing unless you're one of those weirdos that willingly leaves their "read receipt" on.

3. He doesn't want to respond.

He doesn't feel like talking to you. This is an obvious sign he's just not that into you so listen to it. Perhaps he'll shoot you a text during the late hours on a Friday or Saturday night. Don't let this confuse you. Guys will sleep with you, almost always. Don't confuse sex with actual communication and interest. If he's not responding, you have no reason to be interested.

4. He forgot.

So he didn't have the time to answer you, got super busy, and then forgot about answering you. It is very possible. However, that's still not an excuse to rationalize hope. If he forgets you he still doesn't like you. Guys don't forget girls they like. If a guy wants to talk to you, you will know undoubtedly and he will talk to you.

5. He wants to fuck with you.

Very possible he's a part of the little bitch movement. He enjoys playing the game of denying the girl only to invite her back in. He enjoys the back and forth and believes it makes him more desirable. He doesn't have feelings for you and he doesn't have any genuine interest in you. He gives a half-ass effort at communicating. You are a game that he keeps on the backburner. You wouldn't want your friend wasting time on someone like this, right?

So you don't want that for yourself either.

Although it can be a number of these reasons or a combination, the fact remains the same. The hard truth is that there is no hope with this guy. He is just not that into you. Maybe he's a little into you. But even if it is just a little, that will eventually diminish into not at all. Besides, you don't want someone that's not completely into you. Look at the reality of the situation. Don't try and rationalize with excuses in order to bypass your feelings of disappointment.

He's not texting you back so you have to reason to even want to text him. TC mark

I’m Starting To Think I’ll Always Be A Little Bit Broken

Posted: 07 Sep 2016 02:00 PM PDT


I've started getting chest pains every day.

WebMD screams, "CALL 911″ when I enter my symptoms and I scroll through the list of possible of conditions with my palm pressed to my sternum and just wait until I see "cancer" inevitably listed somewhere. I chew on Tums, set reminders to stop drinking coffee and start drinking water in my phone, even try counting to 10 with giants gulps of air to see if that will stop the pain that sears for an hour every day.

But it doesn't.

Regardless of what I do or don't do at some point in every day I'll sit up too fast or take another sip of coffee that burns the roof of my mouth and I'm not only greeted with a head rush or a scorched tongue, but a heart that is on fire and apparently begging to leave my body.

My therapist claims it's stress. That the unbelievable pressure I put on myself and attempt to carry around day after day is finally getting to me and my symptoms of anxiety are becoming physical. She recommends meditation, all sorts of breathing exercises, even offers to switch up my prescription. But regardless 2 AM will roll around and even after breathing in and out and saying, "I am enough" to myself for half a fucking hour, there those nagging chest pains will be.

My friends say it's because I'm repressing things. So I'll focus my energy on writing about people who have hurt me and forgiving them. I'll get rid of photos and delete texts and numbers and focus on purging myself of these things that make me unconsolably sad. But then I'll be sitting in a cafe, reading another poem about letting go, and even though I like the shade of red that I thoughtlessly swept over my lips in an attempt to love myself, without asking permission if they could sit at my table there those searing aches will be.

I've started getting chest pains every day – and I don't think the doctors or the shrinks or my friends are right about why.

I think I have finally given my heart away one too many times and it's begging me to stop. I think it knows how much I wish the dark parts of my mind hadn't chased away another guy who made me laugh and so it's telling me to stop following my head because clearly, this four chambered organ knows better. I think my heart is trying to escape the cage I have locked it in because it's sick of watching me self-sabotage over and over and over again and wants a shot at running things.

I do not think that WebMd is right. This isn't acid reflux or GERD or even a result of being a stressed out 20 something with too much on her plate.

This is a result of knowing that I have let my guard down again when I should have kept it up.

This is wanting what I can't have and swallowing feelings when I want to say, "Please tell me you care about me," but instead say nothing but lol.

This is overanalyzing Facebook likes and looking for hidden meanings in the spaces between 140 characters and trying to make a connection but failing to load completely.

This is not heartburn and an island flavored antacid will not make it go away.

This is being heartbroken and never really fixing it. Instead I just break it again and again, time after time.

This is walking around giving pieces of myself to boys who never deserved them in the first place and I think there is nothing left to give. This is wanting with no way to satiate, loving with no reciprocation, needing with nothing to take, and giving with no thanks. This is being 26 and realizing that you may never be 100% again and will always have to settle for somewhere in the 80s.

This is knowing what you want, being able to see it on the other side of an iPhone screen, and knowing that you need to just close out the app and move on.

I've started getting chest pains every day. And even though I think they're just a part of me now like blue eyes, messy hair, and nails that are always bitten down, I keep searching and searching for a way to make them stop.

They say you can't die from a broken heart.

But you sure can wake up in the middle of the night and feel it trying to kill you. TC mark

How Successful You Will Be In The Future, Based On Your Zodiac Sign

Posted: 07 Sep 2016 01:00 PM PDT

Joseph Strauch
Joseph Strauch

Aries: March 21st – April 19th

As an aries, you are incredibly optimistic and definitely know what you want in life. You are a go-getter who won’t stop until you achieve your dreams. Your assertiveness will get you an amazing job in government or education. Whatever your passion is, you’ll reach for the stars and succeed no matter what.

Taurus: April 20th – May 20th

As a taurus, you are honest and incredibly smart. You have a wide range of abilities, but you work with others extremely well. You most likely will thrive in finance or even law. Whatever you do, you will give it your 150%.

Gemini: May 21st – June 20th

As a gemini you are incredibly adaptable and also love surprises. You want a job to be something you are incredibly passionate about and you crave adventure. You would 100% thrive in law enforcement work or maybe could take a whack at being a sky diving instructor.

Cancer: June 21st – July 22nd

As a cancer you are kind-hearted and giving. You adore helping others and it fulfills you in a way nothing else can. You most likely will do well in health services such as being a nurse, doctor, or a teacher. You couldn’t live a full life if you couldn’t make others smile.

Leo: July 23rd – August 22nd

As a leo, you crave power and success more than anybody. You love to be at the top, and you’ll eventually get there. Maybe you’ll have an outstanding career in politics, or even become the next president. Whatever you decide to do, you’ll always be a charmer and you will always win.

Virgo: August 23rd – September 22nd

As a virgo, you love details. You are incredibly organized as well and will do anything you can to have everything done before a deadline. You will definitely do well in sales and research work. Anybody who is as detail oriented as you, will find a great job in no time.

Libra: September 23rd – October 22nd

As a libra, you are a people person. You crave human interaction constantly and are a social butterfly. Your charm and smooth talking self could definetely have a career in the entertainment industry. You could also be an awesome radio host.

Scorpio: October 23rd – November 21st

As a scorpio, you’ve got a big brain. You adore complexity and math is your jam. You were the kind of person who always got straight A’s in every single subject. Your one true love though, is science. You will absolutely thrive in computer science, or engineering.

Sagittarius: November 22nd – December 21st

As a sagittarius, you are optimistic and get along with anyone you meet. You love having an outlet for negative energy and are pretty great in the arts. You will most definetely have a career in the entertainment industry or marketing industry.

Capricorn: December 22nd – January 19th

As a capricorn, you are incredibly responsible. You love working and thinking hard in life. You also thrive in having a position of power and being in charge. You will thrive in being the big boss for leading and top dollar companies.

Aquarius: January 20th – February 18th

As an aquarius, you are creative, and also very much a dreamer. You love being independent too and won’t ask help for anything. You will thrive in something both creative and technology based, like photography or computer science work.

Pisces: February 19th – March 20th

As a pisces, you are the most selfless of all of the zodiac signs. You love helping out others. You will do well in running your own pet care service, or could also thrive in any kind of social work. Helping others is what makes you get up every morning. TC mark