Thought Catalog

13 Sexual Milestones You’ll Hit Once You Find The Person You Belong With

Posted: 14 Oct 2016 08:00 PM PDT

Unsplash, Denis Gavrilenco
Unsplash, Denis Gavrilenco

1. The first time you have sex. Maybe it’s wild and exciting. Maybe it’s clumsy and awkward. You don’t know each other well yet, so there’s no telling what will happen the first time.

2. The first time you have completely comfortable sex. You used to worry about what you tasted like down there and if you shaved well enough, but now those things don’t even cross your mind. You’re just enjoying the moment.

3. The first time you make love. For the first time, instead of focusing on the way your clit feels, you focus on the way your heart feels. So instead of telling him how goddamn sexy he looks, you tell him how much you love him.

4. The first time you’re completely honest during sex. Hate the thing he’s doing with his tongue? In the past, you would try to break the news gently, but now, you tell him without sugarcoating it. You two are completely honest with each other.

5. The first time you have sex with the lights on (and still feel confident AF). You’re comfortable with each other. You don’t mind if he sees your pimple scars and cellulite. You know he loves you, “flaws” and all.

6. The first time you have sex that makes you even hornier. Your orgasm should’ve calmed your hormones down, but it only made you want him more. You’re ready for round two as soon as round one is over.

7. The first time you have truly X-rated sex. You’re comfortable with him now, so you’re going to say some pretty nasty things during dirty talk. Things that you wouldn’t want your closest friends to know about.

8. The first time you have sex you’re not really in the mood for. You could’ve said no, but you have some time to spare and might as well try for an orgasm. Of course, you’re not really into it, so you never finish. But he does, so you’re still happy.

9. The first time you really don’t give AF. You didn’t shave yet. You didn’t brush your teeth yet. But what the hell? He loves you no matter what, so you have sex anyway.

10. The first time you have sex without a condom. You’ve decided to go on the pill to avoid pregnancy, and you trust him enough to believe he won’t give you any STDs. You’re in a serious relationship, so you know he isn’t fucking anyone else.

11. The first time you act out your wildest fantasies. You usually hold back, because your kinks can be embarrassing. But you love him, so you tell him everything you want to do to him. And he lets you do it.

12. The first time you have sex as a married couple. The sex doesn’t feel different, but at the same time, it does. You’re excited to start your lives together, so every touch feels a little more intense than usual.

13. The first time you have sex to make a baby. It’s weird. For he first time in your life, you’re not fucking for the fun of it. You’re doing it to change your entire life. You’re doing it to create an actual person. It’s insanity. TC mark

If You See Any Of These 7 Things In Your Life, It’s Probably Time To End Your Relationship

Posted: 14 Oct 2016 06:00 PM PDT

Andrew Neel
Andrew Neel

It’s a question in life that you never really want to answer…

When is it time to end a relationship?

Things build up. Something feels off. The magic has faded. Or maybe you're just not happy anymore. Whatever it is that's causing this burning question to rise to the top – it's not going away. So you have to figure out if this skepticism is permanent, or just a phase. Tough call.

Relationships have rough patches all the time. In fact, I call them "growing pains." Many relationships hit tumultuous times when two big personalities are adjusting to one another. It's normal. So, trust me when I say: not every rough patch means the relationship should be over.

Alas, the question remains: When is it actually time to end a relationship? When is a rough patch no longer a rough patch, but a pattern?

Here is how you know when it's time to end a relationship:

1. You don’t like yourself in the relationship.

You know how colors look differently when lined up next to each other? Your blue eyes POP when you're wearing navy, hunter green, or purple – but they glaze over when wearing white or gray. The same happens with people.

People can complement our personalities in vastly different ways. Some can bring out the funny side of you, while others encourage that vulnerability and authenticity to seep out. Your partner has the most influence over this dynamic – so be honest with yourself when you ask – do you like yourself in this relationship?

Is your best self coming to light, or are you consistently coming face to face with your unfavorable side?

We all have flaws. We all have demons. It's not that we want to completely erase them – but we don't want to highlight them, either. And if our partner consistently brings out the worst in us, it's going to be hard to thoroughly enjoy the relationship.

I want to make one thing exceptionally clear: this isn't necessarily your partner's fault. Your partner most likely cannot help how their personality complements yours. But regardless – you deserve to be in a relationship where you feel like a better person for it.

2. There isn’t perceived equity in effort.

Do you feel like you're carrying the relationship? Are you the one always reaching out? Making plans? Showing affection? Sharing stories? Geeze. You must be exhausted.

People share and receive love in different ways. Your relationship does not need to be quid pro quo down the line. But if you don't perceive that the relationship is equal – that is a massive problem.

Everyone is busy. Everyone has baggage. Everyone has obligations. But when you're in a relationship, you make time for it, period. Otherwise you guys can just date and casually enjoy each other's company while you keep on living your life. Relationships require effort and commitment. So if you're not perceiving either – then what's the point? You deserve to be courted just as much as you should be expected to court. Walking away at least gives you the opportunity to find a balanced relationship.

3. You don’t feel loved.

One of the best perks of being in a relationship is having the solid belief that you are *special.* They chose YOU. You get their kisses. You get their compliments. You get their affection. You are the one who gets to be their partner, and they get to be yours. You are Queen of the world!

So if you don't feel this way, again, what's the point?

Not feeling loved has got to be one of the worst feelings EVER. Yes, I am all for self-love and completely encourage women to love themselves so much that it doesn't matter what other people think. But subjecting ourselves to feeling not loved on a daily basis just sounds like misery-poop stew.

That's a hard pass from me. And it should be for you, too.

The reality is, life is hard. There are going to be moments in life where you don't feel intelligent. You are going to have days when you think all of your hard work has been pointless. There will be months when you feel like absolutely nothing is going your way. I promise you, it will happen. So in those moments, the last thing you want is a partner who doesn't help build you back up. It's hard convincing ourselves of our worth – we don't need the duty of convincing our partner, too.

Let them go, and find someone who is dead sure of your fabulousness.

4. You know you don’t love them.

Do not let guilt, fear, shame, or embarrassment keep you in a relationship. Not only are you doing yourself a disservice, but you are completely screwing over your partner, too.

Breakups are hard. People get their feelings hurt. But human beings are resilient. We are wired for survival. Emotional setbacks are difficult – but we bounce back. In fact, we were designed to bounce back. And the hurt that we suffer is *completely* worth it when we are finally able to find someone who treats us the way we deserve. But guess what? You – nor them – will get that opportunity if you hold onto a loveless relationship because you're scared of short-term consequences.

I say this with love: Get over it.

You are going to hurt people, and people are going to hurt you. That's life. So do what you know to be right and cut people free when you can't give them what they need. And hope to goodness that they do the same for you.

5. You love them, but you don’t like them.

We all know there is a *massive* difference between like and love. You love your family – but you don't always like your family. You like your next door neighbor, but you don't love them (especially when their damn dog barks all day). (This is not a personal reference). (Ok, yes it definitely is).

So ask yourself, do you like your partner?

Do you admire their accomplishments? Do you think they are a good person? Do you like their friends? Are they nice to strangers? Do they tip their waitresses? Do you brag about them to your family?

If you are struggling to come up with concrete things that you like about your partner, that's not a good sign. You need to love AND like your partner. (Leslie and Ben style!) Life is too long to be with someone you tolerate. They can have a good heart, and still not be the one for you. Give yourself permission to find someone who lights your haystack on fire AND is nice to your mother. They're out there. But you won't find them, unless you end it.

6. You are putting your life on pause.

Let's get one thing straight: relationships are bonuses in life. The goal is to have an independently happy life, find someone who also has an independently happy life, and share your fabulously independent lives together.

So if your life is being put on hold completely because of their choices – that ain't good.

It's ok if there is a little give and take. Your relationship responsibilities won't always be evenly distributed. But you should always be able to pursue your goals, keep moving forward, and build the life you envisioned while you are dating somebody else. The two are not even close to being mutually exclusive.

There's another way of putting this: your significant other is holding you back.

You can love someone with all your heart, but they just might not be on your same frequency. This might not be their fault. It might not be anyone's fault. But if you can't ignore the reality that your life isn't progressing the way it should because of this relationship – things aren't going to get any better the longer you wait. You're only going to fall further and further behind on your goals, and in the end, you will resent your partner for the lost time. Don't do that to them. Don't to that to yourself. End the relationship, and keep moving forward.

7. The negative outweighs the positive.

This is pretty self explanatory. If the fighting outweighs the kissing, the crying overshadows the laughing, the knots outweigh the butterflies – then it's time to move on.

Most relationships aren't meant to last. They are meant to teach you something, offer you some amazing memories, and fade away. Give the relationship the dignity it deserves and put it out of its misery. It's dying out, and it deserves a proper goodbye instead of an explosive ending.

Yes, it's hard. But you're going to be just fine. TC mark

This Is What Women Mean When We Say We Want A Gentleman

Posted: 14 Oct 2016 05:00 PM PDT


We don’t have unrealistically high expectations. We really don’t. When you hear us say that we want a gentleman, you might be imagining a well-dressed man with unlimited power and money, but that’s not what we’re talking about. Not at all.

We don’t need some rich guy to take us to a five-star restaurant where we can order steak and caviar. We just want a guy that actually puts in the effort to plan dates. You can take us to a museum or a free concert at the park, and we’ll be happy. We just want you to go out of your way to make us smile.

We don’t need a guy to dress up in a suit and tie to show off how handsome he is. We just want someone that will show up in a shirt that’s clean and shorts that are meant to be worn outside of the basketball court. We want you to spend a few minutes picking out an outfit, because it usually takes us a few hours.

We don’t need a guy that showers us with compliments to keep our self-esteem high. We just want you to show appreciation for all the time and effort we put into making ourselves look good. But only give us genuine compliments. We don’t want the superficial ones. They’re useless.

We don’t need a guy to know the difference between a salad fork and dessert fork, or to keep his elbows off of the table as we eat. We just want you to be nice to the waiter and refrain from cursing in conversations with our parents. We just want you to show respect for us and for those around us.

We don’t need a guy that refuses to pick up a beer or even a glass of champagne. We just need you to drink responsibly. And if you know that you’re going to get wasted with your buddies, do it someplace safe. Do it someplace where you won’t end up embarrassing yourself or kissing another woman and begging for an apology in the morning.

We don’t need a guy that’s a virgin, someone that’s never put hands on another woman. We just want to know that you aren’t using us for sex. That you actually like our personality, and not just the beauty of our bodies. We want to know that you’re not the type of guy that’s going to use us and leave us behind.

We don’t need a guy to wait on us hand and foot. We don’t need a guy that cooks every night and cleans the entire house before we have the opportunity to help. We just want a guy that that acts like our teammate. A guy that helps us out with the housework and helps us save up money for the rent.

Basically, when we say we want a gentleman, we’re saying that we want someone that treats us like like an equal. Someone that we actually deserve. TC mark

25 Things You Should Stop Justifying By Age 25

Posted: 14 Oct 2016 04:00 PM PDT


1. Your significant other’s behavior.

2. Living on habitual autopilot rather than actively choosing what you want to do each day. Your brain will re-wire itself to what you repeatedly do. It will get to know those things as “comfort,” and keep seeking them. Make sure you like what “comfortable” is to you.

3. Needing motivation because you lack discipline. You wouldn’t need to wait to be “inspired” if you did the harder thing and developed the discipline to work even when you didn’t want to. You have to learn that motivation is akin to momentum. It builds when you start, not when you remain idle.

4. “Checking up” on people from your past on social media, which is a thinly veiled excuse to judge them, which is a thinly veiled excuse to feel validated for them no longer being in your life.

5. Hanging out with people you actively dislike, and discuss with others. Be the same person in private as you are in public, as often as you can be.

6. Being consistently overwhelmed by work. Being too stressed or busy is a choice, and most often people make it in order to seem important, or keep themselves distracted. Don’t dig your grave then complain when you end up laying in it.

7. Not being empathetic. The people who seem least deserving of understanding are the ones who need it most.

8. Being mean for the sake of it.

9. Being mean for the sake of bonding with other people. You either need more interests, or new friends.

10. Continuing to put your time, energy and thoughts into a relationship that is clearly not reciprocated. Piecing together “signs” that “prove” why someone cares and it should work. If they aren’t with you, they don’t want to be. Most people aren’t blunt about this because they either want to keep you around for something (sex, loneliness) or just don’t want to be called an asshole. (Which, you know, they would be.)

11. Why you don’t have enough money. Get another job. Get a better budget. Move to another part of town. If you don’t want to be strapped down by your situation, change it. You are the only one who is able to.

12. The ways in which other people are responsible for what you are or aren’t doing with your life. Using them as excuses for not doing what you want to be is a short road that runs in a very small circle. It keeps you moving, but gets you nowhere.

13. How much you eat, sleep, and take time for yourself. You don’t need to make excuses for engaging in basic acts of self-care.

14. Why you should have what you want for the sheer sake of how much you want it.

15. Why you can’t forgive your parents. Their purpose was not to love you perfectly. It was to set up gaps and challenges that would give you the opportunity to become the person you were always meant to be.

16. Not working out, eating at least some sort of vegetable each day, and reading anything other than your newsfeed.

17. Why you don’t want to be with someone. Wanting to leave is enough.

18. Wanting love. It’s a beautiful, perfectly normal part of being human. Intimate connection is chief among our innermost core desires, and seeking that for yourself makes you brave, not pathetic.

19. Being cynical. It doesn’t make you safer, cooler, or smarter than anyone else. It only means you’ve lost your ability to see the magic in life in favor of remaining comfortable.

20. How you’ve changed. Maybe evolving is failing the people who are in love with a particular idea of you, but not doing so is failing yourself. You decide which is worse.

21. Not answering texts or phone calls. Either establish with the people in your life when they shouldn’t expect to be able to reach you on demand, or respond to things when you receive them.

22. What you do to avoid pain. Running from it is what’s creating it.

23. Why you love the stuff you do. Nobody really cares whether you’re into comic books or Joni Mitchell or Tarot cards or crystals or video games or football or cats. People respond far more warmly to genuineness than anything else you can pretend to be.

24. Why you can’t choose what you think. Why you can’t control what you feel. You are not in charge of every emotion and thought that arises within you. You are, and always have been, in charge of how you respond to them.

25. Why you aren’t living the life you want. You have to change your mindset about money before you can expect to see your financial situation change. You have to change your beliefs about love before you can expect to see your relationship status change. You have to change your idea of yourself before you can expect your self-esteem to rise. Your life builds from the inside out. Stop waiting for someone else to start it. TC mark

Read This When You Feel Like Falling Apart

Posted: 14 Oct 2016 03:00 PM PDT

Sokoloff Lingerie
Sokoloff Lingerie

Your hands are trembling, the anxiety quivering through your fingers. Your eyes are in distress, a little watery even. Your breathing is uneven, quickening in pace as you begin to ramble. You’re spewing arguments, trying to seek validation. Your defenses have fallen, your guarded exterior severed. You’re pleading now as your hands enfold with mine in desperation.

Just stop. You don’t need to do this, this unwarranted plea for atonement. You don’t need to explain yourself. There is no need for a lengthy confession. It’s okay, whatever it is, whatever you did or didn’t do, it’s all okay.

There’s no judgment here, no prying eyes to exploit you of your dignity.

In this house, we uphold empathy. We do not hasten to shrewdness. We do not hide in the ignorance of biased perceptions. We only abide by the objective commitment engrained in the foundation of all-important relationships – to merely listen and to understand with compassion.

My eyes are here to reassure you, and my hands are here to comfort you and these words are here to remind you of a fundamental truth you seem to have forgotten.

There are no heroes, no villains. There are just people, ordinary and mundane. There are just people prone to competing intentions that sometimes manifest in unintended outcomes. Morality isn’t black and white; it’s a complicated colour of subjectivity. Those that are quick to judge are mere cowards; they fail to see this because it makes their crimes harder to swallow. For if they understood that they were no different from the wrongdoer, they wouldn’t be able to handle their damned reflections. So instead, they hide in the shadows of judgment and point their loosely defined morals at others, creating self-defeating constructs of what it means to be human.

The only definition in being human is being subject to error. It is in our nature to be fallible.

We enter this earth with an abundance of uncertainty that can only be rectified by failure and the lessons it births. How else would you grow and develop if not from an accumulation of poignantly worded, fucks-ups? Look at the certainty piercing through my eyes when I tell you this, do not apologize for what fundamentally defines you, do not apologize for being human.

And if the world still seems lonesome, my door is always open. No matter the act, no matter the extent of how far you have fallen or how lost you have become, I am here. I am here, unfeigned by your trials and mistakes because I accept you, every fragmented part.

Because as you exist, you are worthy and you are enough. TC mark

This Is How You Truly Move On From Someone You Thought You Were Going To Marry

Posted: 14 Oct 2016 02:00 PM PDT

When you have a breakup with someone you envisioned walking down the aisle towards, it can incredibly shocking. It can almost feel like you’re in a terrible nightmare, just waiting to wake up. 

You think to yourself, I’m never going to get over them. They are the perfect person for me. This can’t be the end. You say to yourself, This person was the person I’m supposed to be with. They will come back to meThey have to.

But, those thoughts aren’t going to stay forever in your mind.

I promise you, you are going to move on from this person. It doesn’t matter how long you were together. It doesn’t matter how picture perfect you were together. You will eventually realize that maybe they weren’t so great after all. Or maybe you will eventually realize that everything happens for a reason, and you’ll find someone else when you’re ready.

You will move on from this person. And this is how you’ll do it.

You’re going to cry. There is no doubt about it, no matter if you are a guy or a girl. Everyone cries. That’s just how grief works. You’re going to probably be in denial for a long time, so you’ll keep everything they gave you. You’ll keep the pictures up on your Instagram and Facebook, just in case they will come to their senses.

You’re going to drunk text them. It’s just what happens. You’re going to drunkenly type on your phone things like, ‘I misss youuuu’ and ‘ I still love you. Let’s get back together’. The next morning you will wake up with shame more powerful than your headache. Because, you’ll look down on your phone and realize they didn’t respond. 

You’re going to wallow in self pity. You’re going to listen to really sad music and sleep till 3 pm most days. You won’t be able to eat because you hurt too much everywhere. You will think that you won’t ever smile again. Or be happy again. 

You’re going to get angry. You’re going to curse them for ending it. You’re going to curse them for not wanting you back. You’re going to punch a few walls, or at least attempt to. And you’re going to tear up their letters and pictures and erase every memory you have of them.

And my god, will you miss them.

Then one day, you’re going to wake up without the pit in your stomach. You’re going to still be sad sure, but you will feel a little bit better for some reason. You don’t know how, or why. But for some reason, you miss them a little bit less.

A friend will tell you a joke, and you’ll actually crack a small smile, remembering that there are still things to enjoy about life even though they are gone. And then you’re going to go for a night out and actually enjoy yourself. And you aren’t going to get the urge to contact them.

And one day, you will realize that you are over them. It won’t be easy. It won’t be quick. And it won’t be a simple process. But it will just happen.

And one day, you will meet a person who doesn’t make you feel empty anymore. You will meet a person who doesn’t remind you of them. And you’ll be ready. Ready to finally let go of that person that you used to want to marry. Ready to give up on that ‘forever’. And you’ll finally be happy. TC mark

I Think There’s Part Of Me That Will Always Be A Little In Love With You

Posted: 14 Oct 2016 01:00 PM PDT


When I was in high school, I read this theory about soul mates. It was known as The Red Thread of Destiny, springing from an old Chinese legend.

"An invisible red thread connects those destined to meet, regardless of time, place, or circumstances. The thread may stretch or tangle, but never break."

I was always so busy choking on my own romanticism. I wanted that Big Love. The grand gesture. My heart was blooming and I needed the right person to tend to it, to water it, to pluck away the weeds.

And I found it. I did. I truly loved him. And he loved me.

And for a while, it was everything. The kind of relationship that showed me what love looks like, smells like, how it requires work no matter how dreamlike it may seem.

But things break apart. Time does what it does. Distance doesn’t make the heart grow fonder, it makes it colder. It teaches it to keep beating alone. It grows a thick wall, one that, after a while, becomes hard to break down.

There were more guys. I had hopeless crushes, flings that faded when hormones settled. I dated. I dated people who liked me more than I liked them. I dated people who I desperately hoped would reciprocate my feelings.

And then, there was you.

My romanticism came rushing back, almost nauseatingly. It was you! I was so sure. That invisible red thread had brought you to me. All this time, and you arrived in the most unexpected of places. I wasn’t looking for you. I wasn’t looking for anyone, really.

But one look at you and I was done. I’ve never believed in love at first sight. You were the first time I saw someone and thought, “He’s going to fuck me up. Oh, he’s going to change it all.”

I loved you with a stubbornness. I loved you even when I shouldn’t have. I loved you when my friends were telling me to let go. I loved you when you were hurting over another girl, and I’d rub your back and tell you it was going to be okay.

I loved you so, so much.

I loved you in a way that has never made sense. It’s never been logical. I can’t make sense of how entirely I wanted to be yours, to be by your side when things were tough, to cheer you on when you were dying to give up. I just wanted it. I wanted you. All of you.

And you wanted me, but not the same way. You wanted parts of me. You wanted me in conditions. You loved me, but as a substitute.

It’s been years. We are different people. We’ve grown apart. I wonder if you’d even recognize me.

But even when I want it to quit, my heart keeps choosing you. I still answer your call, even when it comes out of nowhere and everyone I care about is telling me to let it go to voicemail.

I will always answer your call.

Because part of me will never stop loving you. I’ll never stop wanting to be there for you.

“The thread may stretch or tangle, but never break."

All this time, the thread hasn’t broken. I wonder if it ever will. TC mark

What Each Zodiac Does When They’re Dying To Kiss You

Posted: 14 Oct 2016 12:00 PM PDT

Unsplash, Denis Gavrilenco
Unsplash, Denis Gavrilenco

Aries: March 21st – April 19th

The thing about Aries is that they don’t really think. If they want to kiss you, they’ll press their lips against you the second that the idea pops into their head. They won’t waste any time. There’s no sense in trying to figure out if they want a kiss, because they’ll immediately make a move.

Taurus: April 20th – May 20th

This sign is romantic. They won’t kiss you for the first time in the middle of a club. They’ll kiss you by candlelight. They’ll kiss you in the rain. They’ll kiss you on your front stoop after taking you home. If a Taurus wants to kiss you, then they’re going to plan ahead by inviting you out on a romantic date.

Gemini: May 21st – June 20th

When a Gemini likes you, they’ll tease you. They’ll sit shoulder-to-shoulder with you and then turn their body away. They’ll make you think that they’re going to touch your waist and then pull their hand away. But don’t worry, because all that teasing means they’re secretly dying for a kiss.

Cancer: June 21st – July 22nd

If a Cancer wants a kiss, they’ll pay you a genuine compliment. They don’t want to settle for getting close to you physically. They want to get close emotionally, as well. That’s why they’ll act like a total sweetheart. They’ll seduce you with their words.

Leo: July 23rd – August 22nd

When a Leo wants to kiss you, they’ll primp themselves. They’ll run a hand through their hair, adjust their sleeves, and apply Chapstick. They’ll make an effort to look as kissable as possible, because they think they can seduce you with looks alone.

Virgo: August 23rd – September 22nd

When a Virgo wants a kiss, you might catch them fidgeting with their hands or shaking their leg. They have a habit of overanalyzing every situation they’re in, which is why they get so nervous. They want to kiss you, but they’re not sure if you feel the same.

Libra: September 23rd – October 22nd

This sign is known for their flirtatiousness, so a little banter doesn’t mean a thing. You need to ignore their words and pay attention to their body language. Have they been checking you out? Are their eyes flicking from your lips to your eyes? Then they want a kiss and aren’t just playing around.

Scorpio: October 23rd – November 21st

When a Scorpio wants a kiss, they get physical. They won’t hesitate to lean in close to you as they talk or place a hand on your thigh. They’ll touch your body in any way that they can to see how you react before going in for the kiss.

Sagittarius: November 22nd – December 21st

This sign is honest. If they want to kiss you, then they’re going to make a straightforward comment about how sexy you are or how soft your lips look. It isn’t hard to figure out how they feel about you, because you can read it on their face.

Capricorn: December 22nd – January 19th

Capricorns don’t like PDA. So if they really want a kiss, they’re going to find a way to get you alone. Maybe they’ll invite you over to their apartment. Maybe they’ll pull you aside at a party so you can talk in private. Either way, they’ll try to get you into a one-on-one conversation.

Aquarius: January 20th – February 18th

Even though they’re creative, they’re also fans of clich├ęs. So when an Aquarius is ready for a kiss, you’ll feel like you’re in the middle of a movie. They’ll take you to the top of a Ferris wheel or to a hotel balcony. They’ll hold your waist or brush a strand of your hair back. They’ll do whatever they can to set the mood.

Pisces: February 19th – March 20th

When a Pisces wants to kiss you, they’ll try to impress you by joking around with you–of course, they joke around with everyone. That’s why you have to look out for little things, like pregnant pauses in conversation and extra long glances. The sexual tension will give their feelings away. TC mark

For The First Time, I Want To Be Away From People

Posted: 14 Oct 2016 11:00 AM PDT

For the first time, I want to be away from people. I want to be away from everyone who knows me, from everyone who expects me to behave in a certain away and from everyone who tells me one way or another how I should live and how I should love.

For the first time, I don't want to answer my phone. I don't want to force a conversation or a laugh. I don't want to pretend that I'm okay when someone asks me how I'm doing and I don't want to tell anyone why I'm upset when they ask me if I'm OK.

For the first time, I don't want to dance. I don't want to pretend that I'm enjoying the music when I can barely hear it. I don't want to pretend that I'm in the mood when all I want to do is stay in bed, wrapped up in my thoughts, trying to clear my mind.

For the first time, I don't want to date. I don't want to wait by the phone and wonder if they'll call. I don't want someone I just met to ruin my night because they weren't paying attention to me. I don't want to go home and think there's something wrong with me.

For the first time, I need to be by myself. Away from the noise, away from the words people tell me, away from the life that no longer excites me and away from the same type of men who keep breaking my heart.

For the first time, I'm starting to realize that maybe I'm in the wrong place with the wrong people. Maybe everything feels wrong because this is not the right direction, this is not the right road.

For the first time, I want to leave everything secure and familiar and go in search of something mesmerizing, even terrifying. I want to leave everything I know behind and make room for another life to find me.

For the first time, I want to go somewhere where no one knows my name. I want to remember who I was before all these labels were plastered on me. I want to go somewhere that my soul can connect to, that I can connect to. I need to get in touch with myself again without anyone telling me how to do it.

For the first time, I want to disappear. TC mark

I Want To Be Stuck On A Long Flight With You

Posted: 14 Oct 2016 10:00 AM PDT

 Sofia Sforza
Sofia Sforza

I want to be stuck on a long flight with you. The 10 plus hours flights that people dread, the tedious and uncomfortable flights. I want you to be next to me.

I want to spend a long time with you away from everyone else, away from home and away from our friends. I want to be stuck in the air with you for hours talking and rambling on about the things that we never had the time to talk about.

I want to get to know you away from all the noise. I want to get to know you in the stillness of the skies and the silence of the dark.

I want to know that there's no chance for anyone to interrupt us, or anyone to join our conversation. I want to be able to see the real you. When you're tired and groggy, when you're fidgeting because the seat is not comfortable, when you take a few seconds to look at the sky from your window and when you doze off to sleep.

Because long flights show you the essence of a person and long flights can seem so short when you have the right person by your side.

Long flights give you the chance to ask deeper questions, to spill some secrets and to provide a sense of security to the person next to you, that whatever happens on this flight, they won't have to face it alone.

I want to know if you'll pick chicken or beef, if you'll drink water or wine, if you'll watch a movie or a TV series and I want to know if you'll accidentally rest your head on my shoulders when you're sleeping.

But more than anything, I want us to be heading to the next destination together, to know that we will both land in the same place, to know that we are both going in the same direction.

Long flights and empty airports always made me feel lonely, they made me feel scared and I always wished that I didn't have to be traveling alone or landing solo.

Because planes and airports are only scary when you're alone. They're only scary when they remind you that there's no one traveling with you and no one waiting for you.

Because having a hand to hold during take-off is sometimes all you need to feel safe.

And having someone to hug when you land is sometimes all you need to make you smile when you’re tired.

I want to be stuck on a long flight with you because long flights give me a glimpse of you that only I can see and they show me who you really are when nobody is looking. TC mark