Thought Catalog

5 Real Sex Dreams That Will Make You Really Horny

Posted: 16 Oct 2016 08:00 PM PDT

1. "I wander to the bathroom in the middle of the night to pee and find my two roommates in the tub, splashing around and making out. At first I'm stunned and they are too, and then one of them casually invites me to join. I don't even like my roommates but I don't think twice about saying 'yes.' I strip out of my blue nightgown and hop right in, offering up my body for a threesome like it's nbd, even though none of us are lesbians and we all have serious boyfriends. We start fondling each other's breasts and kissing each other and fooling around like we do it on the regular. Then we take it to my bedroom and really go at it with vibrators and dildos and a sexy swing that magically appears in the corner until the sun comes up and it's time for class." — Violetta, 21

2. "So I'm seven months pregnant and I secretly have no idea who the baby's father is because dream me has slept with so many men outside my marriage. I'm not actually married irl, but whatever. Then I find out from my doctor that the baby's black—the seven-month sonogram shows race, weirdly—so I know I'm fucked because when the baby comes out my Asian husband will know it's not his. Running away with my doctor seems like the most reasonable thing to do, so I convince him to take me across the border so we can start a our own religious cult in Mexico together. Everything seems to go okay until my husband tracks us down and kills my therapist and kid with a crossbow. On his way out, he says, 'Have a nice fucking life' and just leaves me there in shock. " — Rachael, 25

3. "My dream starts off in a conference room at work. I'm with my entire team, giving some big presentation when this young hotshot from sales suddenly addresses me by my childhood nickname, 'Anna Banana,' except that he says it wearing this devilish little grin. Next thing I know, I transform into Anna Banana, reigning champion of the International Sex Games. I'm wearing my normal glasses and this giant, yellow, banana-shaped suit, like I'm some kind of walking phallus, and I'm refereeing this seedy wrestling competition between all of my colleagues. The more intense things get, the more aroused we all get. So I call a masturbation timeout. Then I ring the bell and the next round starts until we're all having this massive inter-office orgy." — Anna, 29

4. "I had the most bizarre dream that I'm at a school where 'clowning' is the big thing on campus, so every football player dresses up like one on weekends. My actual boyfriend, who plays basketball, has a rivalry with the quarterback i reality. So to get back at my boyfriend—I'm secretly suspicious that he cheats whenever he's on the road—I seduce the quarterback in his clown suit. The quarterback clown is mean af, but I love it. He tells me to rip my clothes off, so I do. Then he orders me to touch myself and I roll over like a puppy in training and start rubbing my crotch. I give him head like it's an honor—like his clown dick is the soufflĂ© of popsicles and I'm Jenna Jameson or something. Next day, everyone at school knows what happened and I'm freaking out about how my boyfriend will handle the news and then I wake up, sweating like crazy." — Carly, 27

5. "In my dream, I'm the Sex Ed teacher at the high school where I actually teach history and for whatever reason I decide to give a demo instead of using slides or a textbook to make my point. So in walks the principal, my boss, who's incredibly sexy in actuality. He doesn't say a word—just lifts up my dress, pushes me over the edge of the table, drops his pants, and starts banging me from behind. I let him fuck me right there as all the students watch. Then we do a little oral sex demo. He comes right as the bell rings and I come as the students are packing up their things. I can’t look my boss in the eyes ever since I had thatdream and if my husband knew he’d probably make me quit" — Mrs. Wright, 34 TC mark

27 Men Confess Why They Cheated On Their Significant Other

Posted: 16 Oct 2016 07:00 PM PDT

Illustration by Daniella Urdinlaiz / lookcatalog
Illustration by Daniella Urdinlaiz / lookcatalog
Found on AskReddit.

1. ‘I was 17 and there was a girl naked on a bed that said 'come fuck me.' So I did.’

"I was 17 and there was a girl naked on a bed that said 'come fuck me.' So I did. Wasn’t right, but wasn’t thinking, either.

I was house sitting for a family friend and I had a friend over and we were having some beers. He had been talking to his GF while we watched TV. His GF told him 'Jane' wanted to hang out with me (she had a crush). I had known her for a while, same school. I thought his GF was cool. The two girls came over. My friend then told me that he and his GF might scram. My GF is out of town. I’m a virgin who had been drinking with alone with another girl. This doesn’t look good. He hands me a condom and says 'ya might need this.'

This is how I know I’m not thinking. My GF goes to the same school too. We all did. I graduated with 85 people, no way 4 of those 85 people know I lose my virginity to not my GF and the whole school doesn’t hear about it within the week. But I still just say whatever, not thinking anything will happened. He insisted by saying 'just in case.'

After they left…she goes to the 'bathroom' but went to the bedroom. She called me in there and she was not completely naked but had a bra and some panties that made it look like she intended to try to get some. She did say 'come fuck me' or something close to that…and that’s kinda where I just ripped off my clothes."


2. ‘I wanted to feel like garbage and sleeping with people who didn’t care about me did that.’

"I was in bad shape in terms of mental health and I went through bouts of wanting to self-destruct. Basically, I wanted to feel like garbage and sleeping with people who didn’t care about me did that. I did a lot of other self-destructive things as well. You know how they say, 'I should have been on the back of your mind' or some crap like that? The truth is, I wasn’t thinking about my SO at all when I did those things, even though I loved them deeply. I just wanted to kill myself without killing myself."


3. ‘She was cold, distant, and a bit of a bitch.’

"I was with a woman who should have been 'right' for me. But she was cold, distant, and a bit of a bitch. She was smart, witty, well-liked and highly thought of by colleagues and friends; but, behind closed doors, she was the opposite. I tried to change her, I even tried changing myself. She had 'accidentally' cheated on me earlier in our relationship, and when I met someone who was nice to me and made me feel good about myself…well, I went for it. Cheated on my SO. But, to be fair, I dumped her immediately afterward."


4. ‘I would flirt and sell myself to other desperate, lonely people.’

"We had very poor communication and were both very insecure (wife and I).

She assumed I was cheating when I wasn’t, facilitated a threesome to control the insecurity and then we flip-flopped for years between open and not, all the while our sex life which had been daily when we were dating dropped to a dead bedroom.

I talked, I begged, I volunteered to do counseling (she would never do mutual counseling) and I did without. I gave up passwords and stopped seeing friends. I went to a couple Sexaholics Anonymous meetings. And I did without. Month in and month out. and we would cycle over the years. Cheat, get caught, make amends, be happy, dead bedroom, cheat. And the problems were always my fault. My timing, my not understanding her meds, or her aches, or her bad days.

I got selfish. I got desperate. I would flirt and sell myself to other desperate, lonely people. Park sex, car sex, elevator machinery closet, bathrooms. Anything to just feel desired. It’s fucked-up."


5. ‘I had a chance to have sex with a 21-year-old Swedish model.’

"I had a chance to have sex with a 21-year-old Swedish model who was also a really close friend and I thought I’d regret it forever if I didn’t go for it. I broke up with my girlfriend a week later, carried on having sex with the Swede for a couple of months until she went home to Sweden.

No regrets."


6. ‘It was sheer passion. I had been stuck in a dead relationship for far too long.’

"It was sheer passion. I had been stuck in a dead relationship for far too long. I thought I was at fault, tried to change myself, ended up spending an entire year doing things I didn’t want to do. When it became clear that I would not get anything (not even thanks) in return, I knew I would leave that year. I never told my SO because we just didn’t talk. At all. Around the same time I met someone who DID pay attention to me, who did talk to me. When we first kissed, it was fire! I left my SO a month later. It was messy. I mourned the failure of that relationship for a year. But I ended up building something new with the person I cheated with, and many years down the road, we are now happily married!"


7. ‘I cheated because there was someone I found attractive who wanted me and I was horny.’

"I’ve cheated a few times in my long and storied career as a monogamous relations specialist, and although one time I was intoxicated and another time I was mad and yet another time I was in a long-distance relationship, I can honestly say that 'logic' never has anything to do with it. I didn’t cheat because I was mad, or because I was drunk or because I had fallen out of love. I cheated because there was someone I found attractive who wanted me and I was horny and as a result my brain put everything else in a little box I had no access to. That’s it, and honestly I think that’s the only thing approaching a viable excuse for cheating. If it’s not working out, break up. if you’re sexually unsatisfied, break up. if you’re mad enough to cheat, break up. if your SO cheated on you, break up. if you’re being abused, break up. There is no excuse for it at that point."


8. ‘I wanted to fuck every decent-looking girl I met.’

"I shouldn’t have been in a relationship in the first place as I wanted to fuck every decent-looking girl I met. And if they were up for it, then we went at it. I’m done with all that now."


9. ‘We had been slowly falling out of love and turning into roommates that occasionally rubbed privates together.’

"We had been slowly falling out of love and turning into roommates that occasionally rubbed privates together. There was a lot of talk about spicing it up in the bedroom but by her own admission, she’s pretty vanilla and didn’t want to wrap her head around the idea of other positions besides missionary and her being on top. I had been training a very attractive and smart woman at work who noticed I was having a hard time one day and I spilled everything out to her at lunch. A few more weeks of shameless flirting between the both of us culminated in an incredible night in a hotel room that currently holds the top preferred customer spot in my spank bank. It felt awful imagining my girlfriend’s face but at that point the path ahead was crystal clear, we broke up the next day and I never told her what happened. The coworker and I continued to date off and on for two years. We never could make a relationship work but fell back on the sex. That whole time was full of lessons I’m still learning."


10. ‘My GF at the time was really busy and couldn’t be there for me the way I wished.’

"I was in a serious car accident. My GF at the time was really busy and couldn’t be there for me the way I wished. But my ex was. One thing led to another, and I ended up sleeping with my ex. Worst decision of my life."


11. ‘She was constantly accusing me of cheating after I caught her cheating.’

"The reason was because she was constantly accusing me of cheating after I caught her cheating and speaking with her ex behind my back. She would steal my belongings and if I broke up with her she would use that against me to force me to talk to her and eventually get back together because sex…

Just ended a month ago when she caught me on a date with another girl and hit me with her car. So it was kinda worth it. Though my custom made ironwood bear, watch, and ps4 are gone now :("


12. ‘I was drunk and didn’t stop the advances of another girl.’

"I was drunk and didn’t stop the advances of another girl. I had never been so happy than in my prior relationship. Never felt so loved and loved someone so much. I gave up everything in a split second…."


13. ‘Thinking with my dick.’

"Thinking with my dick. Feels good in the moment then regrets later. Why would I risk so much for such a stupid fleeting feeling? I love my SO. This is way back in my past and I’ve learned a lot and wised up."


14. ‘Honestly, undiagnosed borderline personality disorder.’

"Honestly, undiagnosed borderline personality disorder. My brain was fucked up, whole bunch of emotions I didn’t understand and a lack of impulse control. What I did was still my fault, I’m not denying that. But after I was diagnosed I went through a lot of self-help therapy books, saw a counselor…and the urge to cheat has never come up in the past 3 years with my current SO.

Mental illness is a bitch. It can influence you to do things that you never thought you would do. Those things are still your actions and your responsibility. But it’s like your brain holding a gun to your head and telling you to do something. And if you don’t have the right coping skills, you don’t know how to say no to your brain."


15. ‘She was pushing me away slowly while also removing any sexual aspect of our relationship.’

"I cheated on my ex after she became too clingy one summer. We’d just finished our freshman year of college and moved back to our hometown for the 3-month break. She refused to get a summer job, and conveniently decided to ruin every single one of her friendships in our hometown. So, she was left with me and only me to entertain her and fill her time.

A typical day for me that summer looked like this:

Wake up to a text from GF 'Hey babe good morning I miss you.' Then I’d go to work and text with GF all day. 'Ugh I'm so bored when are you off work?' She’d say. Get off work, go to GF's house, watch TV with GF til about 11pm. Go home, get text from GF 'Hey let's Skype!' Skype with GF til about 1am, say goodnight. Repeat.

Sometimes she’d even make me call her from my car when I’d leave her house.

I couldn't do it anymore. She literally wanted constant contact with me during every hour I wasn’t sleeping. Sleep was actually the only reprieve I had from her. She bitched all the time about how bored she was and about how all her friends were assholes and how terrible her summer was going. In my mind, I was thinking 'well you did this to yourself, you ruined your summer get over it.'

Around this time, my GF also started withholding sex from me. She said she wanted to slow things down, so all we did was make out. I constantly had blue balls and started watching porn WAY more often to remedy the situation. It was a perfect storm. I couldn't stand to be around her anymore, but I loved her and didn’t know what to do.

A new girl had started at the place I was working that summer. She and I hit it off and we connected on how dissatisfied we were with our current relationships. One thing led to another and we hooked up in the walk in freezer of the restaurant we worked at.

I regret cheating on my ex, for sure. But the reason I did it is because she was pushing me away slowly while also removing any sexual aspect of our relationship.

I should have just ended it and THEN hooked up with the girl from work, but you know…I was 20 and stupid. And horny. And my balls hurt."


16. ‘I just couldn’t help myself and then justified any guilt by saying she would be more hurt if she found out.'

"I just couldn’t help myself and then justified any guilt by saying 'she would be more hurt if she found out.' I think the constant wanting to be out of the relationship but still liking her and being scared to be without her made it easier for me to do what I did rather than break up with her and then sleeping with the girl.

Anyone reading this thinking of cheating, don’t. Just don’t, you will destroy that person. I'm still paying for what I did, going to therapy, on meds for anxiety. But that is nothing to what must be going through her head after being betrayed by the one person she loved and thought she could trust. I have cut contact, she was ready to forgive me but I couldn't. I couldn’t trust myself right now to not take her for granted, I need to grow up first.

Anyone who has cheated but hasn’t told them, tell them. Please. Sure you might think it is better they don’t know but it will come out eventually, the guilt will be too much, i promise you. And then they are faced with the decision of staying with someone who has lied to them for the past however long, and how many other lies have been hidden? Just tell them."


17. ‘She didn’t care at all about my concerns. I just gave up and started cheating on her.’

"I had given up on the relationship. We had been together about 2.5 years. Moved 14 hours away together, got 2 dogs together. Rented a house together. But I felt that she had stopped contributing to and participating in the relationship. Wouldn’t hold up any flash cards for me while study for my law school exams. Wouldn’t bring me my laptop power cable that I left at home and needed for class because it was her day off. Wouldn’t take time out of her holidays with her family to go say hi to mine. Wouldn’t help take the dogs to the dog park. Stopped taking care of herself. Stopped writing her own checks for bills, so I would write them, and then she we would argue about her signing them. I was in the process of buying a house for us, signed a contract, put my money down and everything, but she was moving her sister in with us against my objections, and I didn’t have a say in how much my ex or her sister would pay in rent. They wanted to pay more to board and feeding and riding horses than they were willing to contribute in rent. Didn’t care at all about my concerns. I just gave up and started cheating on her."


18. ‘I was in a terrible relationship where we didn’t get along at all.’

"I was in a terrible relationship where we didn’t get along at all. There were rumors that she was with another guy. I thought 'fuck you' and just started hitting it off with some other girl. We broke up just a few weeks later, but the relationship with the other girl lasted three times longer. I’d say it was worth it."


19. ‘I was in a long-distance relationship for almost a year and it was very problematic.’

"I was in a long-distance relationship for almost a year and it was very problematic…I was about to move again abroad for work and she was also. We knew that it could not work out even though we tried very hard. One night I was getting drunk with one of my friends and I was talking to a girl at the bar and she was into me. I tried to avoid it at the beginning but then the drinks hit me and I said 'what the hell, let’s go with it.' She ended up blowing me that night and the next day I broke up with my girlfriend. Next thing I know, I am happy this happened."


20. ‘I just wanted my ex out of my life but I should have been honest.’

"My ex and I were still living with one another. She wanted one last hurrah and wouldn’t leave it alone. I could have done a lot of things differently and I’m filled with regret, but that ruined the beginning of the best relationship I’ve ever had. It destroyed trust and it’s all my fault. Aside from other issues this was a big error but it has forced me to become better than who I was. I just wanted my ex out of my life but I should have been honest. Lying is a death sentence for relationships."


21. ‘I met another girl around this same time who I fell in love with almost instantly.’

"My girlfriend and I had been dating for around 3 months when I just started falling out of love with her. The sex was still pretty good, we never fought or anything, I don’t have one specific reason for falling out of love but I did anyway.

Eventually we did have our first argument about something that made me realize that she kind of started taking me for granted. She still loved (still loves) me very much, but she began expecting me to solve all of her problems for her. Eventually started feeling more like a caretaker than a boyfriend because she wanted so much out of me. Not necessarily gold-digging, but when I brought up this issue she didn’t really seem to understand why it would bother me. Kind of was a red flag.

Anyway, I met another girl around this same time who I fell in love with almost instantly, everything about her is intoxicating. I never really believed in love at first sight (still don’t) but I imagine it’s pretty damn close to how I felt, if it’s real. Took me two or three days of talking to her, just platonic, before we started getting a lot closer and it turned into a mini relationship of sorts—no labels, but the communication/feelings/etc. was all there.

I broke up with my girlfriend, but I didn’t tell her that this was the reason why because she was still very much into me and I didn’t want to hurt her more than I had to.

I know it was definitely a dick move but at the time it seemed like the best and easiest way to handle it. I don’t regret it."


22. ‘She wanted a break. She told me she blew one of my close friends a few weeks before we went on break.’

"She wanted a break. She told me she blew one of my close friends a few weeks before we went on break. I hung out with them that day. I sat where it happened. Her best friend had feelings for me, I had repressed feelings for her for a few years. We hooked up, we started dating. It was lit. 'On break' girl found out from someone else and sent me a text the size of a fucking senior paper about why I’m an asshole.

If 'on break' means I can see other people, then totally fair, she blew up in a manner of exquisite hypocrisy. If not, I wasn’t the first to 'cheat,' and at least I didn’t do it while there was active dating going on.

All her friends I met during the course of the relationship pretty much decided I was a better friend than her. Everything went better than expected."


23. ‘Food became more important to her than me or our family.’

"Met my girl when we were in high school. We’re from a small town in the south; typical redneck/married by 18 deal. We both wanted to get out. We dated all through high school, then went to the same state school for college. Our graduating class was around 200 (see: small town); maybe 20 went to college. Maybe.

We dated all through college, I was an engineering major, she was social work/pre law. I pop the question a week before graduation. She says yes, we cry, have a shoestring wedding in August. I get a job near where her law school is.

All is well up until this point. When we met, she was a curvy girl. I’m a typical southern dude, and I like a healthy lady who knows how to eat. She starts law school and starts getting stressed out all the time. She eats more. Ok, no problem. I’m gaining weight from my office job (free snacks are my shit). We both agree we could work out more, so we start going on walks, bike rides, etc. It’s awesome, and it gives us more energy.

Her last year of law school is 2008. (Y’all can see where this is going.) My job isn’t as impacted thank the good lord. But there are no legal jobs. None. After graduation, she’s stuck at home all day looking for work. And when she’s home, she eats and starts gaining more weight. Finally, FINALLY, 9 months after graduation, she finds something; it will even let her use her undergrad work in social work (to some extent).

And…she hates her job. It’s not her fault, they pay her absolute shit because they can (I’m talking barely over the minimum wage for a student who graduated top of her class at a top 50 law school). Her coworkers are horrible. Horrible as in, lose important court documents and then shred the evidence to make them look less incompetent (this happened on a regular basis). She feels she can’t quit (see: 2009 now, and still no legal jobs). So she reacts by eating more. She’s fucking miserable all the time, and has done a complete 180 from the sweet, optimistic, loving girl I knew in college.

At this point, she’s around 5’3, pushing 200. I’m not a small guy either (about 6’0, 250 at this point). We stopped having sex more than once a month or so. She says she feels gross and ugly. I tell her she’s still beautiful to me, and she is.

Well, by some miracle, she gets pregnant towards the end of 2009. I’m excited/scared to be a first time dad at age 27. It seems like I’m getting my old happy girl back. She gains a lot of weight during the pregnancy, but that’s to be expected, right?

We have our son in August of 2010, a week after our anniversary. It’s the best fucking anniversary gift anyone’s ever gotten me. She stays home with him for four months and it’s amazing. She’s happy, son is happy, I’m happy. She goes back to work in January of 2011 and immediately the happiness level drops. She starts overeating again. She comes home late and doesn’t want to do anything besides stare at the TV for a few hours then sleep. I ask her—BEG her actually—to not go back to a place that makes her miserable. The four months off were unpaid, and I can easily support us with my salary. She refuses, says she’s doing important work. OK, I respect that. We stop having sex.

At this point it’s like I’m living with an unhappy roommate. We’re only together for our son’s sake. She’s miserable and I can’t do anything to cheer her up, which tears me up inside. I tried everything: suggesting counseling, prayer, hiring babysitters so she’s not tied to son all the time. Nothing works, and I feel like shit. Meanwhile, she’s gaining more weight. She’s so big now she can’t get down on the floor to play with our son. Food becomes more important to her than me or our family.

Oldest story in the world. I start looking online. At first, I tell myself it’s 'Just to see what everyone’s talking about.' And then it’s 'Not fair that I missed out on the online dating era.' And then I meet someone. I was only around 28 at this point. I wasn’t prepared to go the rest of my life without sex.

So, yes, I cheated. Long story short, she found out, we got a divorce and share custody of my son 50/50. My now ex seems to be doing much better now, she’s had the surgery and now has a job she likes."


24. ‘I ended up cheating on my girlfriend one night after drinking as a result of some serious trust and self-confidence issues.’

"I was in an abusive relationship prior with a girl who cheated on me multiple times then left me for my best friend, I got in a new relationship and ended up cheating on my girlfriend one night after drinking as a result of some serious trust and self-confidence issues, plus my new girlfriend and I had been fighting, this all happened right around the manifestation of some serious mental health issues and it was a very bad, lonely time. I’m not advocating cheating at all though, because I know firsthand how much it can hurt and mess someone up, but when it happens it almost always isn’t as clear-cut as someone being selfish and/or simply wanting to hurt their SO, just my perspective."


25. ‘She just doesn’t care to have sex and I’m supposed to just 'be okay' with not getting any.’

"It all boils down to sex.

Went from probably 6-7 times a month…to maybe 1 a month. Has gotten as bad a 1 time in 3 months. Sadly this is occurring more frequently.

Every time I leave town I’m looking for a one-night stand. It’s a wham bam, thank you ma’am with no strings. Both of us have fun, and my needs are somewhat satisfied.

My SO has ZERO sex drive. Takes almost all of the incentive to stay in the marriage anyway. I love her, but it’s utter bullshit and unfortunately will likely result in a divorce. We’ve had frank discussions about the lack of sex, but the root issue never gets fixed. She just doesn’t care to have sex and I’m supposed to just 'be okay' with not getting any. I can’t even think of the last time we got freaky and did something besides missionary."


26. ‘After 9 months of being treated like a cheater every time I was an hour late home from work or meeting friends I was drunk on a trip and cheated.’

"A couple of exes ago, madly in love with her and even moved country to be with her. We were in an open relationship before we moved in together, and then I was completely faithful once we lived in the same place. It was only then she became wildly jealous. After 9 months of being treated like a cheater every time I was an hour late home from work or meeting friends I was drunk on a trip and cheated. I felt bad, but I was getting pretty resentful of our day-to-day living, so not too bad. She found out. We lasted 6 more messed up months until we ended it. She is an amazing woman, but turns out we were very different people who could not live together."


27. ‘I was 18 and was suspicious of her cheating on me. Did it as revenge.’

"I was 18 and was suspicious of her cheating on me. Did it as revenge. Found out a few months later that my suspicions were true. I’m not trying to justify it, but I wasn’t wrong in my suspicions."

obvioustroway TC mark

17 Signs You’re The Type Of Woman That Men Find Sexy AF

Posted: 16 Oct 2016 06:00 PM PDT

Twenty20, LariStreule
Twenty20, LariStreule

1. You have high standards. You aren’t going to settle for the first man that asks to buy you a drink. You’re holding out for that special someone.

2. You’re playful. You don’t flirt by shoving your cleavage in his face. You flirt by teasing him.

3. You’re independent. If he’s busy one weekend, you won’t mind, because you have your own life. You have plenty of other friends to catch up with and hobbies to pursue.

4. You’re confident, because you know you’re a catch. If some random guy thinks you’re anything less than a 10, then his vision is screwy.

5. You’re passionate. And it doesn’t really matter what you’re passionate about. Knitting. A baseball game. The Sherlock fandom. As long as you talk to him about something you love, it’ll turn him on.

6. You’re friendly. No guy wants to date the bitchy girl that can’t get along with the people that matter the most to him. He wants someone that makes an effort to get along with everyone.

7. You’re low-maintenance. If he takes you out camping with his friends and hands you a beer, he doesn’t want you to complain about how cheap it is and how the mosquitos won’t leave you alone. He wants you to have fun.

8. You love to laugh. If you’re a serious businesswoman from 9-5, that’s great. But when he’s with you, he wants you to let loose.

9. You’re honest. You don’t tell him you’re fine when you’re not. You just admit why you’re pissed at him.

10. You have a high sex drive. Even though sex isn’t the most important thing in a relationship, he’ll be thrilled if you get horny as often as he does.

11. You’re a total sweetheart. If you thought men didn’t care about romance, you thought wrong. Once he’s dating you, he’ll be happy to come home to a freshly cooked meal or a brand new game.

12. You’re spontaneous. If you follow the same routine week by week, things will get boring fast. But if you unexpectedly take him to a new restaurant or use a new move in bed, it’ll shake things up.

13. You care about your appearance. You don’t always step out of the house in a skintight dress with a face full of makeup. But you wear flattering clothing and keep your hair washed.

14. You have close friends (or are close with your family). If you’ve been besties with someone for five or ten years, it proves you’re reliable.

15. You have big goals. You aren’t going to settle for a mundane life. You have dreams and you’re in the process of going after them.

16. You’re smart and you aren’t afraid to show it. No, you’re not an art snob that brags every chance she gets. But you won’t dumb yourself down to look “cute” either. You’re unapologetically intelligent.

17. You’re happy being single. You don’t actually need him–or any man, for that matter. If you’re going to date him, it’s because you want to. It has nothing to do with wanting to get married by a certain age or looking good on Instagram. TC mark

Read This When He Leaves You And There’s Nothing You Can Do

Posted: 16 Oct 2016 05:00 PM PDT


When you're lying awake in bed until 4 AM and you can't stop the tears from flowing down your face. When you can't eat because you're so sick to your stomach. When you just don't understand what you could have done different or better in order to make him stay.

When all those thoughts are streaming through your head on repeat there's something I want you to know; I want you to know that you did nothing wrong. That you loved with your whole heart, you gave him every piece of you and even tried to dig deeper for more. I know it wasn't hard for you to find more though because loving him was easy for you and it was fun.

You loved him so much and he claimed he loved you too, but he still left.

True love doesn't just look you in the eyes and walk away, especially when they don't give you a justifiable answer.

That's what hurts the worst; not even knowing why he's walking away. All you know is there is nothing that you can do to change his mind because he's so damn stubborn. He made the decision for the both of you on his own and it’s not fair. It’s tearing you more and more apart because now you can see it’s really over and he’s not coming back.

But here's the thing, he knows you didn't do anything wrong, he knows you loved him with your whole heart and he knows how good of a girl you are, but he still let you go.

There is nothing wrong with you, there is only something wrong with him. Something he might not even know, but subconsciously he knows he's holding you back, he knows you deserve a better life and you deserve more. He knows something he isn't telling you, that's why he's letting you go.

He knows he hurt you, but he just doesn't know how to make the hurt go away. He thinks he’s doing what’s best for the both of you, but you might not see that until the future after you’ve reestablished yourself. Or maybe you’ll never see it and continue to love him always, even through the pain.

All you can do is stay strong and stay true to yourself, let the moments of weakness in and allow them to break you down into a puddle of your own tears. Those moments of weakness and vulnerability will only make you stronger.

You can't see it now and I'm sure you're sick of hearing that things will get better, because right now it doesn’t feel like it, but they will. That doesn't mean you still won't miss him or that you'll never think of him because you will. You'll always remember him, but maybe you'll forget what his kiss felt like or what his deodorant smelled like. Maybe you will forget the little things, but you probably won’t ever forget him completely and that's okay.

You can keep his memory in your heart and look for it for comfort on days you feel scared in the world all by yourself, but if I know one thing it’s that things will get better in time.

Unfortunately you have to suffer through the bad days in order to reach the good ones, but you will heal at your own pace and you will smile again. You will fall in love again and you will remember what it feels like to live without him. You will move forward and everything won’t feel so dark and lonely.

When he leaves you and there's no changing his mind and no getting him back you just have to move forward because that's all you can do.

Move forward and know that there are better days ahead because there are, there certainly are. TC mark

10 Tiny Signs You’re In A ‘Good’ Relationship

Posted: 16 Oct 2016 04:00 PM PDT

JD Mason
JD Mason

“My parents had a very good relationship,” I often hear my clients say.

“What do you mean by good?” I ask.

“They didn’t fight. They spent a lot of time with each other.”

That may have been the definition of a good relationship years ago, but now most people want more. Following are ten signs of a healthy relationship.


Is kindness more important to each of you than having your way, being in control, or being right? Do you each receive joy out of being kind to each other? Being kind rather than controlling with each other is essential for a healthy relationship.

Spontaneous Warmth and Affection

Do you and your partner well up with warmth and fullness of heart for each other and express it with affection? Are you each able to see the beautiful essence within each other, rather than just the faults? Are you able to get beyond the outer to the unique inner Self of each other? Do you enjoy sharing affection? Warmth and affection are vital for a healthy relationship.

Laughter and Fun

Can the two of you laugh and play together? Do you appreciate and enjoy each other’s sense of humor? In the midst of difficulties, can you help each other to lighten up with humor? Can you let down and be playful with each other, letting yourselves be like kids together? Laughter and fun play a huge role in a healthy relationship.

Enjoying Time Together and Time Apart

Are you both each other’s favorite person to spend time with? Are you motivated to set aside time just to be together?

Do both of you have friends and interests that you enjoy doing? Are both of you fine when you are not together?

Some couples spend a lot of time together because they really enjoy it, while others spend a lot of time together out of fear of being alone. It is important for a healthy relationship for each person to have friends and interests, so that they are not dependent on each other. Dependency is not healthy in a relationship, particularly emotional dependency.

A Method for Conflict Resolution

All relationships have some conflict. It is not the conflict that is the issue, but how you deal with it. Do you have a method for resolving conflict, or do the issues just keep getting swept aside? If fighting is part of how you deal with conflict, do you fight fair, or are you hurtful when you fight?

Letting Go Of Anger

If one or both of you get angry, do you hang on to it, punishing your partner with it, or can you easily let it go? In healthy relationships, both partners are able to quickly move on, back into kindness and affection. Practicing the Inner Bonding process is a powerful way of letting go of anger and blame and moving back in kindness.

Trust in Your Love for Each Other

Do you each trust that the love is solid, even in very difficult times between you? Do you each know that you can mess up, fail, disappoint the other, emotionally hurt the other – and the love will still be there? Do you each know that the love is about who you are, not what you do? This level of trust is essential for a healthy relationship.

Listening, Understanding, Accepting and Learning

Do you each feel heard, understood and accepted? Can you share your secrets with your partner without fearing being judged? Are you each more interested in learning about yourselves and each other than you are in controlling each other? Is listening to each other with an open heart and a desire to understand more important than judging each other or defending yourselves?


Is your sexual relationship warm and caring? Can you be sexually spontaneous? Can you talk with each other about what brings pleasure to each of you?

Freedom to be Yourself

Do you each feel free to be all that you are? Do you each feel supported in pursuing what brings you joy? Does your partner feel joy for your joy?

While some people may naturally be open, kind, affectionate, accepting, and emotionally responsible for themselves, most people need to heal the fears and false beliefs they learned in their families. Healthy relationships evolve as each person evolves in his or her ability to be loving to themselves and each other. TC mark

What It’s Like To Crush On Someone (From A Man’s Point Of View)

Posted: 16 Oct 2016 03:00 PM PDT

Unsplash, James Bates
Unsplash, James Bates

I remain suspended in fluid. All around me are faces I recognize, flickering with the strobe: former schoolmates, acquaintances, and even a few “friends” sprinkled in hazily. Though I don’t know who I consider a friend anymore. All the conversations tonight have been vacuous and still too lengthy. If these are friends, what are my enemies like?

The party is at a triply-removed acquaintance’s apartment, a two-bedroom somewhere in a nondescript neighborhood, presumably south of some places and north of others. The music, electronic sonic pollution, emanates from two monitors propped up against the back walls. I am above this, yet almost like clockwork, I find myself back in these situations, playing the part. The part of the smiling young man who sips and talks, nods and laughs. All I really am anymore is an actor. And just like the greatest thespians of the generation (Hanks, Day-Lewis, Hartnett, DiCaprio), I blend in like a chameleon.

An intoxicated girl slips away from her circle of friends and chats me up next to the bookcase, where I’m admiring the host’s collection of thick postmodern novels (most of which have been unread, I presume).

“You don’t seem like you’re having a good time.” She speaks a bit too loudly.

“What makes you say that?”

“You’re not talking to anyone, you’re just looking at these books. Why don’t you come and hang out with us?”

While I’m contemplating whether she truly wants me to answer that question, she sweeps me away from the wall with a vigorous stroke of the arm. Before I know it, I’m listening to someone in a flannel shirt talk about his rock band and how they’re “so close” to getting signed.

The others sound impressed, but I can see right through him. He seems like the type of person who enjoys talking about his music career more than actually creating art. But in the current year (2016), I suppose that’s to be expected. A time of likes and retweets, but not of true artistry. The artist has been killed, and it was the celebrity who delivered the fatal blow.

I space out for a moment, losing track of the conversation. It takes a moment for my senses to refocus. “Did you know that if you eat celery, you actually lose calories because it takes more energy to digest it than the celery has in it?” There’s no way that’s true.

I interject, “I don’t think that’s right.”

The short blond who brought it up doubles down on her claim. “Yeah, if you eat celery, you actually lose calories because it takes more energy to digest it than the celery has in it.”

I find no reason to continue arguing over something so banal, but already people are giving me stares as if I was too aggressive. Maybe I’m “ruining the vibe.” Right when the tension reaches a maximum, the intoxicated girl next to me turns and begins to speak. But instead of language, vomit comes out. She begins apologizing profusely as I assess the damage.

I’m upset, but also relieved to have this as an escape route. I announce that I’ll be going back to my apartment and nobody tries to stop me, for I have an excuse in the form of a puke-encrusted blazer. The air outside the apartment cools my lungs, which had been steadily rising in temperature from the muggy air and hedonism inside.

I take a 5 minute walk before opening Google Maps, allowing myself to experience the sensation of being lost for just a moment, a rarity in today’s plugged-in age. 13 minute walk to the station. Perfect. The time passes easily, the night is still. Apparently I’ve taken the scenic route. When people aren’t around, it’s astonishing how beautiful a city can look. Sometimes I think all cities would be better without anyone living in them.

Late at night, you don’t hear things. You only hear artifacts of things, bleeding across their designated borders, a car horn here, the bass from a nightclub there. It makes one feel so lonely and so communal simultaneously.

I would be lying, though, if I said I didn’t wish I had someone to share this with. But not just any person. Someone to love. Someone who thinks like me, who can see past the illusions of life and truly understand what is going on and what is important. I have yet to meet anyone who fits this mold. I want to be with someone who has had a real conversation sometime in their entire life. I should also think they’re hot.

The train arrives. It’s middle hours between rush hour and the late night exodus which, just like so many middle children in suburban America whose tree-houses will remain perpetually unfinished, are mostly neglected.

The train car is near empty. I sit across from a girl about my age, with hair in her eyes and over-ear headphones on, quietly leaking some tune I can’t quite make out. She is radiant. She is like a pearl. But unlike pearls, which are housed in the exoskeletons of oysters, she is cased in beautiful pale skin beneath multiple layers of fabric. An overcoat to keep her warm, a light jacket underneath for fashion. Her head gradually becomes more and more buried in the book she’s clutching. She is a cocoon, remaining inside herself, reading, reading, reading.

An intellectual in today’s age is a woolly mammoth, a tiger with ombre stripes, a rare specimen. Her existence only makes me want to know more. But should I talk to her? Should I say something? I feel like saying anything would destroy the sanctity of the scene. In my mind, she can be anything I want her to be and that’s the beauty of it all.

I avert my eyes. I stare at the floor. The car seizures as we pass under the industrial district, a rougher ride than usual. It’s as if the exaggerated motions of the train on the track are speaking directly to me: “Talk to her!” I wish I could talk to trains so I could spit out my 100 different excuses why I’ll do anything but.

We stop in the heart of downtown. A few teenagers returning from a night out board and sit at the back of the car. I have five stops to choose. Choose between an imagined nothing and a tangible something. I look back up at her, feeling like an absolute cretin for what could now be considered staring. Creep. Voyeur. Peeping Tom. I try to make out what book she’s reading, but can’t quite discern the lettering on the spine.

Four stops left. Perhaps if she’s getting off at the same stop as me, I could try to talk to her on the street? No, no, no. The only thing worse than being approached on the bus is being approached late at night curbside, by a stranger no less. Even if I’m polite, it’ll feel like I’m accosting her. This is the place. If you’re going to take a shot, take a shot.

As we pass through a certain section of the tunnel, the interior lights dim. Stud lights shining through the window behind her intermittently form a halo-like vision that dances six inches above her head. Divine intervention. This is my chance! As my mother used to tell me, don’t read when there’s not enough light. She can’t read while the lights are down.

Right on schedule, she puts the book in her bag. Should I act? But what would I even say? I could talk about how I too enjoy reading and what a worthwhile pursuit it is. Is that worth saying? My tongue is tied. I hesitate too long, the pause not being simply pregnant; it has gone ahead and raised the child all the way to adulthood during my time of indecision.

Three stops left. A group of four men in their mid-20s, dressed uniformly in classic fraternity attire, board and split between my bench and the bench beside my crush (the term crush seems too juvenile, but this is certainly a juvenile predicament, isn’t it?). They are chatty, with a slight hint of inebriated aggressiveness in their voices.

She turns up her music, the melodies singing out from the headphones now recognizable as distinctly classical in nature. Another person in the world who appreciates the subtler notes of culture! But the new riders pose a problem. I feel frozen, overcome by stage fright. If I were to approach the girl, I would now be performing in front of an audience. The stakes have been raised. Failure has been elevated from potential dejection to humiliation.

Two stops left. She begins to gather her things and takes a quick glance at a phone to check the time. No, this is not how I imagined it happening. The fates must be feeling mischievous tonight, almost having her and my destination line up. Almost, but not quite. The train rolls into the station, the deceleration feeling like the peak of a roller coaster, pit in stomach and all.

A wave of adrenaline swims through my veins. I am going to transform this nothing. As she heads towards the doors, I follow behind her, courage pumping my vocal chords like an accordion to get them to say something, anything.

“Excuse me, Miss?” I’m buried under the sound of her headphones and the ambient train noise, she doesn’t hear. I speed up to get closer to her. The doors open and she steps out. She’s only a few feet away, but it feels as if she’s become part of another world. She is in the real world. It’s no longer a controlled environment. It’s not the dream of minutes past. It can’t be and will never be the same.

I am on a train. I ride for a short while longer until I reach my destination. Alternate eternities are flickering in front of me, being born and killed in instants of time too small to measure. I see smiles and laughter mixed with winces and tears, along with emotions too subtle and situational to classify. All these realities, all these possibilities. Together, we could have made some somethings out of nothing.

Back home now. Tonight, I experienced the totality of human existence in the moments that I believed in ‘us.’ But you can’t spell us without you. TC mark

He’s Not Your Forever Person Unless He Does These 15 Things In The Bedroom

Posted: 16 Oct 2016 02:00 PM PDT

Twenty20, marybeth
Twenty20, marybeth

1. Makes you feel beautiful. I don’t care if your retainer is in and acne cream is spread across your face. If he’s your forever person, he’ll still make you feel pretty.

2. Soothes you after a nightmare. If you wake him up in the middle of the night with your whimpering, he shouldn’t be pissed about losing sleep. He should pull you closer and try to calm you down.

3. Cuddles with you. I don’t care if his arm falls asleep after being crushed by the weight of you. That’s the price you pay when you love someone.

4. Gets consent before doing anything new during sex. He shouldn’t be sticking a finger in your booty or putting his hands on your throat, unless it’s clear that you’re okay with it.

5. Gets consent before having sex. You’re his girlfriend, but that doesn’t mean he gets to do whatever he wants to you whenever the mood strikes. He still needs permission to touch you each night.

6. Deals with your snoring. Yes, it may be slightly annoying. Yes, he may tease you about it. But it shouldn’t be that big of a deal to him. If it is, then how are you going to peacefully share a bed for the rest of your lives?

7. Puts your needs first. I know he wants to stay up with you all night, but if you have work early the next morning, he should keep the noise to a minimum. If he’s going to read or watch television in bed, he should be keeping the sound low and the screen directed away from your face.

8. Wakes you up when you oversleep. If he’s the early bird in the house, then he should know what time you leave for work and should nudge you awake when you’re running late, no matter how cranky you are.

9. Makes you orgasm. It doesn’t matter if he’s using his hand, his tongue, or a toy. As long as you’re climaxing on a weekly (or daily) basis, that’s all that matters.

10. Helps you fall asleep. Maybe you need to rest on his chest to get comfortable. Maybe you need to hear him sing. Either way, if you need his help, he should give it to you.

11. Shares with you. His pajama pants should be your pajama pants. Your blanket should be his blanket.

12. Stays up all night talking to you. This can’t happen every night, but it should happen some nights. If he’s really you’re forever person, then you should have a million things to talk about. It should be hard to shut each other up.

13. Touches you. Not inappropriately. Sweetly. He should be rubbing your back and tracing your lips with his fingertips.

14. Abides by the rules. If you hate when he eats in bed, he shouldn’t leave crumbs all over the sheets. And if you don’t want the cat on the bed, he shouldn’t call the cat up onto the bed.

15. Picks up on your clues. If you whine about having a headache, he should know that means sex is off the table. And if you start kissing his neck, he should know that means sex is definitely on the table. TC mark

The Life-Changing Advice You Need To Hear Right Now, According To Your Zodiac Sign

Posted: 16 Oct 2016 01:00 PM PDT


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TC mark

18 Modern Dating Rituals We ALL Do Today (But Would’ve Thought Were Weird AF 10 Years Ago)

Posted: 16 Oct 2016 12:00 PM PDT

Master of None
Master of None

1. Saying “we’re talking” about someone you’ve basically been seriously dating for the last five months.

2. Thinking of it as a huge step when one person actually calls the other person on the phone.

3. Asking someone to “hang out.”

4. Instead of just going for it and asking them out on a date – and not being uncomfortable about literally saying the word date. 

5. Following a specific set of rules about texting back.

6. …Such as don’t respond until this many minutes have gone by, or if you use more than one emoji you’re gonna seem weird. What? No.

7. Subtweeting.

8. Couples-themed hashtags. Weddings are fine. But I’m not a fan of the casual #amberandjasongoonvacation

9. Thinking it’s clingy to call someone instead of texting them.

10. The act of ‘swiping’ through people – which is so bizarre when you slow down and think about it.

11. Being able to take screenshots of entire conversations and send them to your friends in less than two seconds.

12. Easily tracking your SO’s previous relationship from start to finish just through Instagram tags.

13. Having someone tell you something about themselves (while on a date) that you already secretly knew because you saw it on their Facebook.

14. And having to act surprised and intrigued when they tell you these bits of info about themselves – even though you and your friend discovered all of this last night while you were sitting on your couch, drinking wine, and looking at your date’s social media accounts.

15. And just generally being able to discover so much about someone in minutes because of all the different outlets – Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Snapchat, LinkedIn, blah blah blah.

16. Pulling out your phone during a mediocre date and scrolling through your other dating apps while your current date is in the bathroom.

17. And knowing that they’re probably doing the same thing right now, in the bathroom.

18. But also knowing there’s some really sweet moments you can share with someone in this day and age, like telling each other something that nobody else knows – none of your friends, none of your followers. Just the two of you. TC mark

The Brutal Truth About Getting ‘Closure’ With An Ex

Posted: 16 Oct 2016 11:00 AM PDT

Jenny Woods
Jenny Woods

I don’t believe in ever having final ‘closure’, especially with someone who you have truly grown to love and adore. There’s such thing as goodbyes. There’s such thing as a clean break. But I don’t think anyone can get quite what they need out of ‘closure’.

An ex told me once all he wanted was closure. My friend once told me all she wanted was closure with her ex. At one point in time, all I wanted was to find some sort of closure with my first love. We all want it and crave it. Because we want answers about why it ended. About how it ended. And we want to feel better.

But is ‘closure’ really going to make us all feel better?

To get closure is to finally end the chapter of the partnership. It’s to close the book, and to pull down all the curtains. I understand why we all want it. It makes sense that we all need to try to make sense of it all and to get some sort of answer. But, if the breakup is already said and done, what good is it to rehash the old wounds?

What good will it do to meet up again, just to say goodbye for the second time?

In theory, closure sounds quite lovely. It almost acts as a cure-all for our breakup woes. And we all would do anything to make the hurt stop. We would do anything to make the pain go away.We want it, to finally move on. We want it, so we can finally let go. 

But, I’m afraid closure could make the breakup worse. You are going to have to hear all about why they ended it with you. Or you’re going to have to explain to them why you broke their heart. You’re going to have to see their face again, and feel butterflies, and pretend they don’t exist. You’re going to have to see them look at you in a different way now.

 And then you’re going to go home. And feel yourself crumble all over again.

Closure, while painful, can also be scary. You might have to face someone who despises you for breaking their heart. You might have to listen to them stomp all over you, while you stay frozen in silence. Closure could rehash all the negativity that relationship brought you, and you’re going to wish you never agreed to seeing them in the first place.

I hate to break it to you, but closure isn’t going to magically help you move on. You’ve got to do that on your own. You’ve got to work at it, and let time do it’s thing. Closure isn’t going to give that to you. You are the only one who can make the effort and move on with your life. 

So, don’t fall victim to this idea of getting closure. It’s not going to help you. It’s not going to make anything easier. It’s not going to make the hurt go away. That’s for you to do. And that’s for you work on, by yourself. Not with your exTC mark