Thought Catalog

You’re Not Really A 20-Something Until You Make These 27 Micro Mistakes

Posted: 20 Oct 2016 08:01 PM PDT

Twenty20, @eimyfig
Twenty20, @eimyfig

1. Hooking up with a f*ckboy.

2. Convincing yourself for a minute that you might actually be the girl who changes said f*ckboy.

3. Bothering to question why a f*ckboy doesn't want to be with you, as if the idiot were even capable of appreciating your awesomeness.

4. Quadruple texting a f*ckboy, even after it's clear that he's ghosting you.

5. Getting your heart broken by a f*ckboy.

6. Crying over a f*ckboy who doesn't deserve your tears.

7. Hooking up with another f*ckboy, even though you know it's a terrible idea and you’ve sworn that you’ll never make that mistake, like, ever again.

8. Splurging on a new outfit because you really want to look hot even though your bank account balance tells you it's a horrible idea to buy anything right now.

9. Feeling jealous of someone in the same field who's further along in their career than you are.

10. Assuming success will come to you eventually, just because you're talented.

11. Failing to understand the value of hard work in all aspects of life, including romance.

12. Drunk texting or drunk posting something to social media that you immediately regret the second you wake up the next morning.

13. Gossiping about something without realizing that the potential repercussions just aren't worth it.

14. Accepting a second or third date with a guy you don't really like because you feel like you SHOULD like him. Or because you want to be the kind of girl who COULD like him.

15. Saying 'yes' to one more drink even though you're already well past wasted.

16. Taking a shot when you know it'll lead you to black out.

17. Going out when you really don't feel like it because FOMO.

18. Staying out way longer than you should because FOMO.

19. Running up credit card debt without thinking much about those crippling annual charges because you figure you'll get your shit together…one day.

20. Falling for the latest fad diet or juice cleanse.

21. Trying a crash diet of any kind precisely one week before a beach vacation because you think you need to lose weight or you want a 'bikini body.'

22. Beating yourself up for skipping a workout, as if it matters in the grander scheme.

23. Spending way too much money on groceries because you can't be bothered to pay attention to things like price tags.

24. Overdrawing your checking account. Again.

25. Assuming that you have to travel just because you're young.

26. Fearing that it's all downhill once you hit 30.

27. Trusting that you'll reach an age at which the stars will align and you’ll feel like you've finally got your shit together. TC mark

50 Insanely Simple Questions That Will Tell You If You’ve Found Your Forever Person

Posted: 20 Oct 2016 07:00 PM PDT

Twenty20, edric
Twenty20, edric

1. Does he deserve your love?

2. Can you be weird AF around him?

3. Does he soothe your anxiety or increase it?

4. Does he treat you better than all of your exes did?

5. Is he your best friend?

6. Does he know your body well enough to make you orgasm?

7. Do you spend more nights laughing over inside jokes or crying over ridiculous fights?

8. Do you get along with his family (at least enough to see them on holidays)?

9. Does he make you feel beautiful?

10. Is it easier for you to imagine marrying him or getting your heart broken by him?

11. Do you wish he would change?

12. Is it easier to fall asleep at night when he’s by your side?

13. Does he put in effort on a daily basis?

14. Can you imagine a realistic future with him?

15. Does he know all of your secrets?

16. Is he capable of calming you down when you cry?

17. Have you changed your appearance to impress him or does he like you just the way you are?

18. Do you look forward to sex or do you treat it like a chore?

19. Do you think you’re settling?

20. Do other people consider you a cute couple or a dysfunctional one?

21. During fights, do you still treat each other with respect?

22. Honestly, do you think your relationship is healthy or toxic?

23. Is he the first person that you’d call with either good or bad news?

24. Do you trust him not to cheat on you?

25. Does he treat you like an equal?

26. Do you have fun whenever you’re together?

27. Does he openly admit how he feels about you or does he make you guess his emotions?

28. Are you comfortable with the idea of never sleeping with anyone new again?

29. Have you ever seriously considered breaking up with him?

30. Does he know the real you, and not just some version of you that you’ve been using to impress him?

31. Does he make you want to be a better person?

32. Are you happy when he’s happy and sad when he’s sad?

33. Do you feel like you’ve known him forever?

34. Does he encourage you to go after what you want?

35. When you talk about him, are you mostly bragging or complaining?

36. If you met your celebrity crush tomorrow, would you cheat on him or remain loyal?

37. Would you consider him a proper gentleman?

38. Would you leave him for any of your exes?

39. Is it easy for you to pick out presents for him?

40. Do you feel like he’s the person you’ve been waiting for all your life?

41. Are you happy to share everything with him, from your bathroom to your bank account?

42. Is it impossible to go a full day without thinking about him?

43. Do you have chemistry?

44. Are you proud or embarrassed to be seen with him?

45. Does he actually show you he loves you or does he just say it?

46. If soulmates exist, do you think that he’s yours?

47. Do you honestly love him or are you trying to love him?

48. Is he everything you’ve ever wanted?

49. Do you want to spend the rest of your life with him?

50. Would you die for him? TC mark

Selma Blair Opens Up About That Time She Flipped Out On A Plane

Posted: 20 Oct 2016 06:45 PM PDT

Selma Blair's Instagram
Selma Blair’s Instagram

Back in June Selma Blair made headlines when the usually low-key celeb when full bananas on a return flight from Cancun with her 4-year-old son. The actress, 43, was enjoying a drink in first class one minute when witnesses say she began breaking down. She reportedly said:

"He burns my private parts. He won't let me eat or drink. He beats me. He's going to kill me."

Instagram Photo

She was eventually removed from the plane in a stretcher and rushed to the hospital. Blair hasn’t talked about whether she was referring to her ex, her son’s father Jason Bleick, with whom she was returning from visiting with, or whether the incidents happened at all. It appears that Bleick was with Selma and her son on the plane at the time:

Instagram Photo

Yesterday Selma was a guest on The Talk where she opened up about the incident, saying she had a “psychotic break.” The interview was summarized by Vulture:

“She begins by calling herself "someone who should never drink," but acknowledges she did that day, and then took some kind of medication that didn't belong to her. "Someone gave me a pill that I thought was something that I had taken before, which I don’t take on a regular basis," she told the hosts. "It was something completely different. A very bad choice and I had a total psychotic black out." Blair says she is completely okay now, that she does not drink at all anymore, and seems pretty comfortable being candid about the whole situation.”

You can view the whole interview here:

My best wishes to her and her son. TC mark

If You Don’t Feel These 12 Ways In Your Relationship, It’s Not Meant To Be Forever

Posted: 20 Oct 2016 06:01 PM PDT

João Silas
João Silas

1. Butterflies

Everyone knows that somewhat sickening feeling when butterflies take flight in your stomach, signifying that your little heart is attracted to another person. If you don’t feel any butterflies when you’re with this person (especially in the beginning), you may not be so into them.

2. Anticipation

It doesn’t matter if it’s been a day since you’ve seen them, or three weeks. When a relationship is strong, you should feel some sort of eagerness to see them again.

3. High

Being in love is a drug that is more potent than anything else. It’s expected to feel a little out of control when you are with someone you love dearly.

4. Nervous

Nerves are just a part of life. It’s normal to feel a little worried when you don’t hear from your significant for a few days, or when they tell you those dreaded words, ‘we need to talk’, no matter how strong the relationship is.

5. Exposed

You’ve put everything on the line. You’ve given them your all and you’ve shown them who you are (including all your ugly parts.) Feeling exposed should be an essential part of a great relationship because you are constantly learning new things about one another.

6. Frustrated

No matter how tight knit a couple can be, being frustrated is healthy. A forever relationship is not a calm one all the time, and it shouldn’t feel picture perfect all the time.

7. Confident

Relationships are all about supporting one another and lifting your partner up. You’re supposed to feel confident when you are with them, no matter what you are wearing or what you look like.

8. Lucky

When you are with your significant other, and when you talk about them, your eyes should light up when you mention their name. You should be feeling like the luckiest person in the world that you found one another.

9. Supported

When you’re in a great relationship, you should be feeling supported by your partner. You should be feeling incredibly comfortable and encouraged to be the best person you can be in the relationship and on your own too.

10. Calm

There is no better feeling in the world then feeling at peace and content in yourself and in who you are with. Great relationships should bring you a sense of calm that you have finally found the person you want to spend the rest of your life with.

11. Appreciated

In a forever relationship, feeling appreciated is essential for both people. Just a simple ‘thank you for doing that’ can make your day and in a relationships, the little things truly do matter.

12. Ridiculous

The best relationships are where you can get incredibly silly and weird with each other. When you have found your forever person, singing at the top of your lungs and making the most vulgar dance moves are a routine for you. And you wouldn’t want to be this ridiculous and crazy with anyone else. TC mark

The Least Flattering Selfie Of All My 90’s Teen Crushes

Posted: 20 Oct 2016 05:16 PM PDT

I turned 13 in 1998 so naturally I’ve spent my entire life wishing I was a real teen in the 90’s. All my celebrity crushes are 90’s heart throbs and I’d trade lives with Winona Ryder any day. To assuage some of my lifelong 90’s teen fomo I’ve assessed my teen crushes’ current looks.

Luke Perry aka Dylan McKay aka history’s most crushable man

This list was partially inspired by Luke’s gracing of the cover of AARP magazine for his 50th birthday.

Lets get this out of the way: Beverly Hills, 90210 is my favorite TV show of all time and I consider Dylan McKay to be a perfect human. I pay for Hulu for the singular purpose of watching old 90210 episodes. Previously I had a dvr to record the show playing in syndication with my roommate every day (and 4 hours on weekends). At one point I was watching 14 hours of 90210 a week.

This is a current candid of Luke Perry because he is a weird old man without his own Instagram:

Instagram Photo

He also says weird old man things on Twitter like “aunty” and this old man yells at sky rant.

For comparison, look at how well noted fuckboy Steve Sanders has aged:

Instagram Photo

I always knew Dylan McKay was not going to age into a crushable dad. All the stress of taking himself so seriously is showing on his face. Even worse, our boy does not have good aesthetics. This is what his website looks like:

I can probably handle a guy who isn’t aging well, but I definitely can’t handle one who doesn’t know how to code or take selfies.

Andrew Keegan

Yoooooooo did you guys hear about Andrew Keegan?? Andrew Keegan started a cult religion thing (??) in Venice Beach called Full Circle. Officially, it’s a “Co-Creating Conscious Community”. Unofficially, it’s blowing my mind.

Here’s a current pic of the self-described “Actor / Producer / Soul Surfer”:

Instagram Photo

Sign me up for your cult thing !!

Mark Paul Gosselaar aka Zack Morris

Was there a woman alive in the 90’s who didn’t have a crush on Zack Morris? He was cheeky and cute and a bad boy in a non-sexually threatening way.

I have to say, the dad-hot version of Zack Morris is way hotter than the actually-hot version of Zack Morris:

Instagram Photo

I am totally digging this beard.

Rider Strong

Corey’s BFF Shawn Hunter was definitely my jam when I was watching Boy Meets World on TGIF every Friday. He can still get it.

Instagram Photo

Jonathan Taylor Thomas

JTT needs no introduction. Has anyone even eclipsed him in becoming famous by only their initials? JTT turns 35 this year which I think is supposed to make me feel old but a) I am 31 and b) did I not mention that Luke Perry is 50??? I can handle lil Simba turning 35.

This is not a selfie because JTT is trying not to be made fun of by staying out of the public eye, currently, but he looks cute:

Instagram Photo

Jason Priestly

I wasn’t going to include Jason Priestly in this list because like any real American woman I never had a crush on Brandon Walsh. I always just assumed he was too busy crying about moral issues alone in his closet to be dateable. But, I did notice that Jason Priestly is selling a 3d printed Jason Priestly doll on his website and I had to share:

Here’s a current snap:

Instagram Photo

Josh aka Cher’s dorky stepbrother aka Paul Rudd

Clueless came out on my birthday in 1995 and I only saw commercials of it before asking for and receiving the VHS for Christmas later that year. I had health issues that year that kept me out of school and I basically sat at home all day by myself rewatching Clueless and imagining that this is the life I was missing in Jr. High. I ordered the Clueless books through the Scholastic newsletter and became convinced I was missing out on a magical world.

Of course this meant I had a crush on Josh even though it is law that no woman should ever crush on a guy who reads Nietzsche by a pool. But Paul Rudd was a great horse to bet on because he’s only become exponentially more likeable and cute as he’s aged:

Instagram Photo

Joshua Jackson

Beside Luke Perry, Joshua Jackson was probably my #1 90’s crush because he was in The Mighty Ducks which was a very big deal for me. He grew up to be a kind of non-dorky but also not super in the spotlight adult. Also he dated this really hot aspirational woman and I really wanted them to work.

Instagram Photo

I like him more now, tbh. TC mark

A Woman Asked This Man Why He Was Buying Dog Food, And Everything Gets Hilarious Really Fast

Posted: 20 Oct 2016 05:15 PM PDT

Flickr / j_lai
Flickr / j_lai

There are two things in this world that I don’t care for:

  1. Stupid questions
  2. Unnecessary conversation

A woman in a checkout line with this man, somehow managed to embody both of these annoyances. This poor, innocent dude is just trying to buy some dog food…for his dog (obviously) when a woman asks him if he…has a dog.

What is with our world. Read on:

via Imgur
via Imgur

I wonder if she ever caught on? TC mark

One Day You’re Going To Meet Someone And Understand Why Nothing In The Past Worked Out

Posted: 20 Oct 2016 05:00 PM PDT

Jenny Woods
Jenny Woods

It’s easy to get discouraged in life. We get our hearts broken, our hopeful futures don’t turn out like we hoped.

And it gets hard. It gets hard to keep putting yourself out there when nothing seems to work out. It gets hard when all you want is lasting love, but love is the last thing on the menu.

There will be days when you want to give up. There will be days when you curse the world and how unfair it can be. You’ll be hurt and confused and wonder why it hasn’t happened yet.

But it will. And when it does, you’ll know why things didn’t work out in the past. You’ll see every broken relationship led you here, to the right person.

One day, someone is going to love you and there won’t be any conditions to it.

You won’t feel this emptiness. You’ll be filled with such strength and security, you’ll realize the love you always wanted is finally here. It’s right in front of you and finally, it’s yours to cherish and appreciate.

One day, someone is going to see you and not want to change a thing. They’ll accept your flaws and love you even harder for them. It will be everything you hoped existed, and guess what? It does.

We think fairytale love is made up. And in some ways, it is.

But that feeling? Meeting someone and feeling understood and seen? That exists. 100% that exists.

One day, you’re going to feel it. And all the hurt from before will make sense. You were meant to get here, to this moment.

One day, it won’t be so hard. And Darling, I can’t wait for you to know that kind of happiness. TC mark

The Question You Need To Ask God When You’re Dealing With Anxiety

Posted: 20 Oct 2016 04:30 PM PDT

David Marcu
David Marcu

I'm not always certain what triggers anxiety in me. It's usually the little things rather than the big things. It can come from a noise too loud or a light too bright. Regardless, it comes. Like a fast train headed down the tracks, it has full intent of taking me on a journey. My heart beats fast while my thoughts focus on nothing else but the feeling of a war waged deep within.

I remember being a little girl when it started. I would wake my mom up in the middle of the night and tell her, "I have the feelings in my throat." What I couldn't communicate at that young age was I felt as if I couldn't swallow. It was as if something was blocking my airway, but nothing really was. To this day, if a bad panic attack sets in, swallowing is difficult.

I've often felt ridiculous about being plagued with anxiety. I'm healthy, my family is healthy, we have nothing to complain about. Everyone goes through the mud at times, but we always reemerge and clean up well. Many times I've thought, It's a shame there are people in hospice care dealing with life better that I can. The whole thing causes guilt. And guilt does nothing more than lead to deeper anxiety.

I've asked God the famous question, "why?" The truth is, I'm not sure He's ever answered specifically. In fact, I'm not sure He's ever answered that question at all. I've pretty much determined the "why's" of life are for Him alone and really none of my business. It's the "How?"question He tends to answer best and most often.

When I ask, "How?" He answers, "Jesus."

Jesus said to him, "I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me."

-John 14:6

Jesus is the how. In every situation Jesus is the answer. Yes, I know, it sounds like a typical cliché Christian remedy with no layer of depth and not one admission to open mindedness. Welcome to the life of a Jesus Lover who knows God can beat any enemy, even anxiety. Having this belief system most certainly doesn't make me any better than anyone else, and everyone who knows me will tell you I'm nowhere near perfect. The only place my Jesus lover self has an edge is where hope lives.

I don't battle anxiety nearly the way I used to. However, some days I feel all the old feelings. Today, I've been thinking about you who might be feeling panic and anxiety. I'm thinking of you who are waving a white flag of surrender because you feel you have zero control. Well, I'm no medical professional and when I feel it rising up, I often don't believe I have any control either. And though some may disagree, I don't think medication is off the table when you're having proper counseling and medical supervision. However, I need to tell you this: In the middle of your darkest battle, BE A HOPE SEEKER. Don't stop looking for hope, and don't let your hope be called anything other than Jesus. Some days are harder than others and if we're not careful, those days can dissuade us from living our purpose. Anxiety does nothing but work to distract us from hope. It makes us feel as if there's something terribly wrong, when in actuality, God sent His only Son to make everything right. No matter what today holds, our ending is victorious.

When we allow anxiety to filter our surroundings, hope becomes distant and freedom doesn't register a definition. If we are going to battle anxiety with faith, then we must be willing to ask God for wisdom. We have to be patient, ready to take a deep breath and ask the question, how? In most cases, the question "Why?" leads to nothing more than distraction. TC mark

I Can’t Help But Wonder If You Still Think Of Me

Posted: 20 Oct 2016 04:00 PM PDT


I sat by Fullerton Bay last night and the light show came on. It reminded me of the Saturday when we caught the light show at Gardens by the Bay with my head on your shoulder. We got drinks at IndoChine after, where I thought to myself how glad I was to be back in Singapore, and how thankful I am to have met you. When I almost got knocked over in the lift by a very huge girl, when I got yelled at by my boss this week, you were the first person I thought of.

I finally got the new set of retainers done and the dentist asked "do you grind your teeth?" You came to mind – I thought of the first night we spent together when I realised that I wasn't the only one who grinded my teeth. But I can't just text you whenever I please anymore.

Sometimes when I'm struggling, I think about our arguments and feel relieved that that part will never be again. But sometimes I get reminded of the good times. Minus the bad bits, I miss calling you my other half. I miss the times when you would wrap your arms around me, hold my hand, and kiss me on the forehead. And some days it hits me harder than others, like today. Maybe because I was working yesterday in front of a corkboard of our ticket stubs to the rugby, Les Mis and Shakespeare.

Maybe because I woke up to lightning and thunder, maybe because it's a Sunday and we would always make breakfast together or do brunch, spend time by the pool or on the couch, and then have Thai night – even when I was in Phuket, "here's my dinner T, I'm having Thai night with you in spirit".

Your parting words were that we would drift only if we allowed it to happen, that we would speak every few days, and that all I can do is trust you. But I wonder if you'll ever reach out to me first. It's been odd and difficult not hearing about your day and not being able to tell you about me. Everyone has said that I'm holding on to something / someone that doesn't exist anymore, and that I shouldn't speak to you again. There are so many questions and things I want to ask and say to you, but all I can do is write and write and keep them somewhere safe.

But I can't help but wonder if you still think about me, whether you eventually spoke up for me, and whether we will end up as strangers after everything we've shared.
You were my Monday mornings, my 6.15am gym partner, my company on my morning commute, my weekends, and the first person I'd share with whenever I did something silly – or in your terms, a cabbage.

The thought that I would some day forget your voice and the person you are, and that we would become complete strangers, that upsets me more than anything else. TC mark

A Bartender’s Perfect First Date

Posted: 20 Oct 2016 03:30 PM PDT

Photo by Fair-Rose Louverture.
Photo by Fair-Rose Louverture.

Let's say you've finally exchanged phone numbers with your bartender and made plans for you guys to go out on a first date. Whether you're a guy or a girl in this situation, you should have a good indicator of what's a great activity that you both can enjoy on that first date. Expensive dinners or nightlife in general (clubs, lounges, etc.) should be avoided at all costs. We in the service industry spend most of our time in nocturnal situations, surrounded by alcohol, so it feels great to be away from such environments when we're trying to get to know you. The best place that any bartender you meet will have no problem going on a first date is a bowling alley. Bowling is like kryptonite for most bartenders. It's our weakness. I don't know what it is about bowling, but there's something about having a cold beer while knocking down wooden pins with huge polyurethane balls that makes all of us in the service industry weak in the knees. So I'll give you an example of what the perfect first date should look like:

You want to make sure you meet up with your date already in a nighttime setting. For bartenders in general, we do not consider it a date unless the setting takes place at night. We witness so many intimate events take place at our bars at night that it becomes an almost innate notion for us to spend a majority of our time going out in the evening. So plan for a bowling night around the 6-8 PM timeframe. Going to a nightclub = no. Going bowling at night with a bartender = yes.

It's key that you avoid using your vehicle on the first date. You want to make sure both you and your date take an Uber to the bowling alley as to lower the chances of either one of you choosing to drink and drive.

You guys are flirting and the conversation is light and not too serious. Somewhere around the middle of the night what you should do is mention that you've recently watched this documentary or new series on Netflix that you thought was pretty funny or really informative. What you're doing is planting seeds into your date's subconscious mind, concurrently setting up a potential date to take place later that night. Maybe two or three times over a thirty-minute span, mention the documentary (let's say it's Blackfish) or a TV series (House of Cards maybe), and see if your bartender date takes the bait. If they mention that they've only seen one episode or that they've never actually seen that particular documentary on Netflix, then this is your opening. Ask your date if they would be interested in a little Netflix & Chill back at your place. If everything on the date was laid back and effortless then he or she will more than likely say yes to your invitation. The two of you can then share an Uber ride back to your place.

Side note: Bartenders are unlike the average person in the sense that going back to your apartment on a first date is not at all taboo for us. Trust me. If we like you and the chemistry is right, we have no problem spending intimate moments with you alone, so keep that in mind.

The perfect first date for a bartender involves bowling, beer, Netflix, and a nightcap; it honestly is that simple. We aren't that hard to impress; in fact, we don't want to be impressed at all. If we've decided to go out on a date with you it means we genuinely like you. Use this to your advantage. Treat us like a buddy you've known for years when you go out with us, and when the mood is right, make your move. Lean in and go for the make-out. The opportunity will absolutely present itself and all you have to do is live in the moment to capture it. Remember…carpe diem. Seize the day. TC mark