Thought Catalog


21 People Reveal The Most NSFW Thing To Ever Happen At Their School

Posted: 07 Oct 2016 08:00 PM PDT

@lindsay94ferris
@lindsay94ferris

School is a pretty shitty place, right? I mean you get ferried to all these classes that you are forced to take and then you leave. But somehow these people made the whole thing even WORSE with all these totally WTF moments. Read on:

1. Spying on girls

IT guy was investigating what was eating up all the school’s bandwidth and discovered that there was a computer streaming video 24/7. They figure out the computer belonged to a teacher and the video that was being uploaded was coming from a camera he placed in his desk at knee level and one in the closet in his classroom that was looking through a hole drilled in the wall that was shared with the girls bathroom.

Many girls were identified from the videos and offered counselling and the girls bathroom was locked down for a few days. Before the news broke everyone was guessing as to why the bathroom had become a crime scene.

When the police raided the teacher’s house they found hard drives filled with cp and large amounts of cocaine and meth.

2. Predator teacher

My 7th grade teacher had ongoing sexual relationships with 3 boys between the ages of 11-13.

I just looked her up, and apparently she got 6 years, so she’s been out for quite a few years now.

3. Don’t shit there

Once, at high school, we had a girls only assembly to address the issue of “Who shat in the pad bin?” Never found out who it was, but was pretty scandalous at the time.

4. Got distracted in class

Happened in my Sophomore or Junior year of high school.

A seventh grade girl was suspended for jacking off two guys during class.

5. Not quite a teacher’s pet

Kid went to the toilet, took a dump, put that into a zip lock bag and put it in the teacher desk draw for a prank

6. More than computers in this lab

Kid got caught jerking off in the computer lab.

7. Using sin to find the answer

A guy got suspended for jerking off in math class.

8. LOL

Back in preschool we used to play with these DBZ bottle cap thingies. I don’t remember what they were called. They were made out of metal and you’d stack the pot on top of each other and throw another one onto the pot and received whatever landed face down from the pot. As you can guess that shit was noisy as hell.

My homeroom teacher got fed up with it and confiscated them. Of course, the little bubs we were, he basicly stole our stuff in our eyes. So we stole them back out of his bag, nicking an additional dildo for revenge. We had no idea what the hell it was, but it was in his bag so we took it and showed off our bounty during breaktime. Secrets not being kept secret, pointed questions were soon asked, awkward answers were given, and mortified parents were informed that their children ran around, playing with a rubber dildo stolen from the teacher.

9. “Oral” exam?

During college, had oral exam for trade law 1, male teacher. The system was always 1 person gets in, gets the questions, 15mins to prepare, then does the oral exam. While that person does the oral exam, a new student comes in, prepares his/her questions, etc.

Anyway, I get in, take my questions (pick 3 cards out of random 30). Student sitting at the desk ready for the oral part. Grown man, late 40-ies sitting in the back reading a newspaper. Weird. Anyway, I prepare, do the oral bit, get my grade at the end, I passed. All’s well. I leave the room and other students who still have to do the exam huddle around me for questions. I tell’em what I know, and I also point out that there’s some adult dude in the back. Another student says that our teacher apparently had inappropriate relationships with a female student and had received a warning from the school (no proof only hearsay). The other man in the back of the room is simply there to make sure nothing happens anymore.

Anyway, one year later, supposed to have this dude again for Trade Law part 2, new teacher. Apparently the guy from last year went to a female student’s house to do an oral exam there, and the school didn’t like that.

10. Blood. Everywhere.

I walked into the bathroom and there was blood EVERYWHERE. Wall. Toilet. Sink. Floor. Urinal. Dunno if it was a stabbing or what, but it was the guys room so definitely wasn’t someone’s time of the month.

11. Cafeteria orgy

A male junior had a three-way with two sophomore girls in the cafeteria bathroom while a bunch of students watched.

12. Jizz ear

A couple from my high school were at a party and a third girl was sleeping on the couch. The first girl gave the guy a BJ and didn’t want it on her so she pointed the guy away and he came in the second girl’s ear.

She was known as jizz ear for the next 4 years.

13. ???

Our philosophy professor in high school “french kissed” not one, but three different girls at the graduation party. In front of his wife. Who in turn threw a full glass of beer to his head.

14. Never let this guy be a father

I seen a kid push his pregnant girlfriend down 2 flights of stairs. Let’s just say it didn’t end to well for the kid. He got beat up badly.

15. More shit

When I was in high school this one guy went to the bathroom, pooped in his own hands, and smeared a handful of shit on the mirror, walls, footbath, floor and doorhandle. Smelled like a MF

16. Coke Day

My third grade teacher was an unmarried man in his 40s who lived alone with two cats. He was a good teacher and always made sure we learned. He was a bit more strict than the other third grade teachers, but we managed to accomplish a lot more than the other classes. Every other Tuesday was “Coke Day” where he would bring in a can of Coke for each student in his class and before he would give you the can he would say in front of the class, one thing you had done really well or improved on since the last Coke Day. A strange tradition, but it was a nice effort.

Fast forward two years, and he’s arrested for the purchase of a large amount of cocaine with intent to sell and police raided his house to find large amounts of drugs and paraphernalia including, marijuana, cocaine, and heroin. He was arrested after school, but they made sure there were no kids around to see it. I always felt kind of sad, since he was a good teacher that basically ruined his life.

Coke Day took on a whole new meaning after that.

17. Not what he wanted to see

One of the boys in my year (year 9) walked in on our Science Teacher having sex with the TA. Science Teacher was married to our previous Primary School Teacher.

We lived in a small country town and husband/wife teacher duos normally worked between the two main schools.

The whole school knew by the end of the day & Science Teacher went on a 3 month ‘career break’ to sort himself out…

Both their kids were in my school and suffered through a very public breakdown of their family home.

18. FIRE

Someone decided it would be an amazing idea to launch a rocket firework down a corridor just as the bell for the end of the school day went off.

You could feel the building shake two floors up.

19. Dirty pool

One time a kid got diarrhea in the pool during sophomore PE class. He ran out of the pool to the locker room 5 minutes before anyone saw it. The only reason it was discovered to be his diarrhea was the loud groans coming from the locker room toilet while my class showered and changed. He transferred shortly after.

20. So much wrong with this

The most NSFW event in my highschool happened in grade 10 where a chick was fingering herself under the desk. That’s not the most fucked up part, the fucked up part is that one of the students was actually filming her finger herself with his MacBook integrated webcam. The police came took his laptop and questioned him and the whole school had a huge meeting about laptop usage. The school said not to talk about these events ever again and guess what as soon as we left everyone was talking about it. Fast forward two years and no one really cares or takes notice about the event, both students still come to the school.

Another weird moment in the school is that some ex students came and spray painted Swatstikas and huge girthy penises on school classroom windows and peoples locker.

21. LOL replaced computers with porn

I replaced all of the Windows 95 startup screens with pornography and edited the startup scripts to replace the default file every time the computer was rebooted so that the tech guys couldn’t fix it easily. Nobody ever knew who did it. A while later I asked one of the techs what had happened, “We had to rebuild all the computers, but we took copies of the files first!” TC mark

47 Men Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Woman Ever Said To Them In Bed

Posted: 07 Oct 2016 07:00 PM PDT

(Thought Catalog Tumblr)
(Thought Catalog Tumblr)
Found on AskReddit.

1. “Make a mess on me.”

"Fwb of mine and I would typically use the pull out method on top of her birth control. Every time i pulled out to bust, she’d get this wild grin on her face and massage my balls, telling me to 'make a mess of/on/for her.' I’m surprised I didn’t blow a hole through her.

Then the one day she held me in and told me to fill her up. God damn. The sudden switch/risk, heat of the moment drove me crazy."

FenrisJager


2. “Fuck me like you want to kill me.”

"Tiny Asian girl pulled my head in and whisper growled in my ear, 'fuck me like you want to kill me.'"

GronkieMcFadden


3. “Wow, I won’t even do this for my husband!”

"After my first date with a cougar (42) back when I was 21, while she was giving me a blowjob in her car behind the bar we had been at, she looked up at me and said, 'Wow, I won’t even do this for my husband!'"

PM_ME_UR_SIDEBOOOB


4. “I need your cum in me right now.”

"My wife has this crazy uncanny ability to detect when I’m right on the edge, and then she’ll say something like 'I need your cum in me right now.'

It works every time."

holypig


5. Sometimes she would scream at me in French.

"One of my exes’ first language was French. Sometimes she would scream at me in French when she was getting there, it was the hottest thing that’s ever happened in my life."

SuperCoolant


6. “I need you to fuck my ass. Now.”

"'I need you to fuck my ass. Now.'

Well, OK."

TheBoldManLaughsOnce


7. “Mmmmm I’m such a slut for you.”

"Ex gf use to look back/up at me say 'Mmmmm I’m such a slut for you.' I don’t know why, but that shit made my balls tingle."

Cho_Zen


8. “I can’t wait to taste my cum on your cock.”

"'I can’t wait to taste my cum on your cock.' The best I’ve heard."

bmxkeeler


9. “I want you to cum on my clit.”

"'I want you to cum on my clit.'

I obliged, she started masturbating with it. Drool."

dubuaska


10. “I love tasting me all over your dick.”

"Was with a girl that I had a huge thing for. She was on top, and asked to switch positions. Cool. So I pull out (no condom, dumb, I know) and she climbs off me, and I start to get up to get behind her. During the transition, she grabs my dick, which was slick with her, yanks me to her mouth, and starts sucking and moaning. After a few strokes she stops, panting, and says 'I love the tasting me all over your dick.' Then went back to blowing me.

I’m not sure how I even made it to the next position. Sexiest thing I ever heard in the moment."

bugcatchercraig


11. “Fuck me like you own me.”

"One thing an ex-girlfriend said, that in the moment suprised me, but later I realized how hot it was, was 'fuck me like you own me.' To this day, I think it was probably the most insightful look into her psyche. One of the biggest problems in our relationship was how possessive she was. At the time, I thought whatever I say to this is just gonna start a fight, so I ignored it. Afterwards I realized she wasn’t picking a fight, she was talking dirty. Unfortunately, she never said it again, so I never got the opportunity to properly react."

wolfbyte


12. “I can still taste your cum on the back of my throat.”

"'I can still taste your cum on the back of my throat'…

She said it matter-of-factly, as if she was talking about the weather.

Young bachelor me was punching his fists into the air."

Aterius


13. “Let me know when you’re ready to go again. I’m not done with you yet.”

"This feels like one of those 'tell your children' stories by the way I repeat it every time this topic comes up here, but:

She gave me a hell of a handy in the shower at a friend’s place. After I almost collapsed, she leaned in and told me 'Let me know when you’re ready to go again. I’m not done with you yet.'

Jayzuz fuhkin croist did that ever drive me nuts (pun intended). Especially since she was a really meek girl."

DrFrankly


14. Only one has ever said my name.

"Of all the women I’ve been with, only one has ever said my name. It was amazing and I’ll never forget it."

Grecco_Roman_Fire


15. “I want to make you cum right now but I don’t want to stop sucking your cock.”

"My girlfriend: 'I want to make you cum right now but I don’t want to stop sucking your cock. I’m so conflicted!' She was patient and I came so hard my whole body quivered."

UberFluben


16. “Take out your stress on me.”

"We have fairly rough sex…one day after I had a shitty day at work things were heating up and she said 'take out your stress on me.'"

TakeFourSeconds


17. Please don’t stop, please keeping going, please, please, please.”

"She was crying and begging me to 'please don’t stop, please keep going, please, please. please.' It was surprisingly really really hot."

Bassethounds4ever


18. ” Oh my God, you feel so good and your house smells like chocolate cake!!”

"1. My partner, the other day: 'Oh my God, you feel so good and your house smells like chocolate cake!!'

2. Ex, from a few years ago…no idea what she said…she switched between French, Spanish, and I think Italian, and it was incredible. She could have been listing soup ingredients, but different languages are OMG."

Diablo165


19. “If you let a single drop out, I swear…”

"My ex and I were in doggy and we’re normally used condoms and pulled out, but this time we didn’t use protection, she came and pulled my as hard as she could with her legs not letting me pull out because I was about to and in the midst of moaning/screaming 'If you let a single drop out, I swear…' It left me shaking. Lol."

TheHesitantHero


20. “Fuck my asshole, right now!”

"For me: 1) Demanding to be fucked, but genuinely enjoying it in the same way I enjoy it. I.e., 'Fuck my asshole, right now!' or 'Fuck that pussy and then fuck my face. I want to taste your cock and my pussy!' or even demanding me to be submissive, like 'Eat this pussy until I’m done!' and then sit on my face.

2) Anything to do with cum. Anything. 'Fill my mouth up!' and as I shoot the cum, go 'Mmmhmmm.' Or things like, 'C’mon baby, I need that cum! I have to get my cum fix today!' And then acting enthusiastic about when I do cum. 'Yea! Good job!” or 'Yesss, look at all that cum!'

Either of those pretty much do it for me like no other."

Cbs87


21. “Harder, daddy.”

"'Harder, daddy.'

Didn’t know I was into that, but I most assuredly am."

simiotic24


22. “Stick it in my ass and make it hurt, Daddy.”

"'Stick it in my ass and make it hurt, Daddy.' I think I lasted 10 seconds after that."

BeautysBeast


23. “Use me!”

"When I’m dom and wife says: 'Use me!'

When wife is dom and wife says: 'Good boy.'"

RomeoandJulieWet


24. When she was really getting into sex she would drop into the old Los Angeles chola girl accent.

"I have a thing for accents and bilingual girls.

One of the hottest was this Mexican girl i used to date. During normal circumstances she was very eloquent and well spoken. But when she was really getting into sex she would drop into the old Los Angeles chola girl accent. Both the things she would say in English and Spanish would drive me fucking crazy.

There was also a Puerto Rican girl that would drop into Spanish and start throwing around the papi chulo stuff. So hot.

One of my longest relationships was with a South African girl and her normal accent was hot enough but she would sometimes mix Afrikaans/Dutch words into her English while getting excited/flustered during sex. I loved it.

The girl I’m seeing now speaks English, Spanish, some French and Hindi. All sound amazing when she’s talking dirty."

KnockoutKingNSFW


25. “Can you feel my hot little cunt squeeze your hard cock?”

"'Can you feel my hot little cunt squeeze your hard cock? are you going to cum in my wet little pussy?”

Yes! i can! and yes, yes i will.

*a close runner up i just remembered from an long ago fwb: 'Yes, fucking use me. Fuck your dirty little slut.'

Well sure thing miss, glad to be of assistance. doffs cap"

cryonisis


26. “Can I choke you while we are at it?”

"[while riding me]

'Fffuck fuck I shouldn’t be that wet, you look barely legal! Can I choke you while we are at it?'

Her hands weren’t around my throat for a very long because I lost all control over my orgasm and exploded.

But cock remained stiff for a awhile enough for her to get herself an orgasm and fall on the pillow beside me. Most special copulating ever."

Spreadingyourlegs


27. “You’re so deep inside of me.”

"Two I remember: 'you’re so deep up inside of me' and 'it feels so good, it doesn’t hurt, just feels so good' after much, much gentle foreplay."

siddhartha666


28. “I stopped taking my pills over a week ago.”

"'I stopped taking my pills over a week ago.' – my wife

I think our frequency has quadrupled since she told me this."

megagreg


29. “Make me your fuck doll.”

"'Make me your fuck doll' as I was fucking her in the ass. I complied.

'I want you to shoot that shit down my throat' (in reference to my cum) was another pretty good one. Complied with this request as well."

frank225


30. “You’re now officially The Boy I Captured.”

"'You’re now officially The Boy I Captured. Behave. Your orgasms are from now on under my strict control. Understood?'

As girls would said it. 'Sploosh.'"

hetit93


31. “Let me fuck you.”

"I was on vacation and met these two girls at a bar my first night in town. We just so happened to be staying at the same hotel. I went back with them and ended up hooking up with one (we went to my room when things got hot and heavy, the other girl had fallen asleep). Anyway, she was on top ridding me and I was kind of controlling her with my hands on her hips, she grabbed my hands and held them back above my head and said, 'Let me fuck you' and then proceeded to ride me better than any girl ever has. That was a hell of a weekend."

shh_I_am_on_reddit


32. “You’re the Devil.”

"'You’re the Devil.'

As an ex Christian, that was the hottest thing you could say to me."

mrjfray


33. “You’re so thick.”

"'You’re so thick.' It’s hot in the moment, but looking back on it she may have been calling me stupid…"

thelazyrunner


34. “Ay ay papi.”

"Hispanic girl 'ay, ay, ay, papi' with that sexy accent."

EBfarnum


35. “I love how deep you fill me.”

"'I love how deep you fill me' or 'I can feel how close you are.' For some reason it is amazingly hot that she knows when I’m about to bust.

Although it wasn’t in bed, still one of the sexiest things anyone has said to me was 'I can’t wait to get you home.' Sent from a FWB via text while in a friend’s living room, sitting right across from her. I still think about that to this day."

the_durgs_did_it


36. “Don’t treat me so badly.”

"'Don’t treat me so badly' with a girly voice and a 'sad' pitch while I was throat-fucking her. Yeah, that made me do it even harder."

almostbig


37. “I need you to pound me tonight and you need me to pump as much cum into me as you can.”

"I remember one night, the Mrs. grabbed me by both sides of my face, pulled it to hers, looked me dead in the eye, and said 'I need you to pound me tonight and you need to pump as much cum into me as you can.'

Fucking Yes Ma’am."

MachinegunTapshoes


38. “Please fuck my ass…please please please.”

"Gf the other day…

'Please fuck my ass…please please please.'"

Mickeyphree


39. “It’s yours.”

"Ex gf so this brings pain to say haha I’d smack her ass and grab it practically all night. But whenever I was inside her I’d grab some ass and say 'who’s?' With some authority. She would reply in the most innocent voice 'it’s yours.' I practically creamed every time I heard those two words. Fuck her though, but I do miss that interaction."

Coachurd17


40. “Good boy.”

"I hate myself for sharing this, but I had an ex who would want me to (or she would) finish on her clit and as I’m cumming she’d look me right in the eyes, hand on my face, 'good boy.'

It killed me every fucking time."

kingofbreakers


41. “Do whatever you want to me. I’m your toy to use.”

"'Do whatever you want to me. I’m your toy to use.'

Pretty much the hottest thing ever."

mildlycoherent


42. “I love the way your balls slap my asshole.”

"Ukrainian mistress once told me, 'I love the way your balls slap my asshole'…in that thick Eastern European accent…"

ravendarklord76


43. “When I have your cock in my mouth…I dunno, just all my worries seem to melt away.”

"My old FWB used to say, 'When I have your cock in my mouth…I dunno, just all my worries seem to melt away.'"

KinRiso


44. “Ruin me.”

"'Ruin me' in a whimpering voice."

DrinkLiquidSnake


45. “Why don’t you shut up and eat my pussy?”

"'Why don’t you shut up and eat my pussy?'

Still the best."

SexySexyLittleForks


46. “Choke me.”

"'Choke me.'

Always gets me going, from any position makes for a different sensation from different positions.

Missionary, you can look into each others eyes and that passion can really heat up the moment. Doggy, she says “choke me,' both thumbs on the back of the neck fingers across her throat."

reasonablypriced


47. “Punch me in the face.”

"1. Ex turned around from doggy, looked me in the eyes and commanded 'Punch me in the face.' I miss her.

2. 'Mr. President' made me melt."

couriercody TC mark

10 Key Ways To Avoid The Trap Of Dating A Narcissist

Posted: 07 Oct 2016 06:30 PM PDT

Pexels
Pexels

1. In initial conversations make sure you ask them as many questions as they ask you.

Wait for an answer. If they say that they like something, ask a more specific question.

Why This Is Important

Narcissists actually probe you for information so that they can learn as much about you as possible. By asking them questions, you force them to tell you about themselves. This slows down the process of them collecting data and allows you an opportunity to determine if they are lying.

For example, you say, "I love dancing the Macarena" They reply, "I do too!" You can ask, "Where do you usually go dancing?" This next direct question forces them to be more specific. The first set of lies is very simple, but the more detailed the questions the more likely you will catch them in a lie. Also, it can put them off balance and make them less attracted to you.

It is important in any relationship that there be reciprocity, so asking someone about themselves as much as they ask you, is a good thing.

2. Never reveal personal or private information early.

The rule of thumb is that if you wouldn't tell everyone at work, it is not something to share in the first couple of weeks of a relationship.

Why This Is Important

Sharing personal information has two effects. The first is that it gives you a sense of intimacy with this person. Exchanging private information is one of the ways that we get close to someone. Narcissists use this method to get close fast. Getting really close to someone before you know them is never a good thing. The second problem is that sensitive material can be used against you and if the person turns out to be a narcissist you will regret sharing things that you did not want everyone to know.

Realize we all crave intimacy.

There is a strong urge to reveal things to the same level as someone else.

It is good to base any relationship on trust and intimacy and these things take time. There will be time in the future to share these details if this is the right person.

3. Don't fight for the relationship right at the beginning.

If someone that you are just starting to date tells you that their friends or family would not approve of your relationship or if they let you know that they are leaving town or that they are worried about you breaking up with them right away it is a warning sign. They are looking for assurances, way before it is reasonable, for you to say that you would not leave. If for any reason, the relationship seems to have opposition or an expiry date, see it as a red flag. Statements like, "This is just a summer fling" are a warning sign.

Why This Is Important

Think of dating a narcissist as a job interview. They want someone that will be there for the long haul. They want to know that you will go the extra mile to make the relationship work. All of these things are desirable in a good, long-term relationship, but they show you are desperate in the short term. Narcissists are attracted to someone that is too desperate to easily leave any relationship, even a bad one.

If their friends or family wouldn't approve, why would you want to be with someone when you would be an outcast or disliked? If the person you just started dating may have to leave town for a job or to go back to school, recognize that it is too early to make that kind of commitment and don't. These situations can also be a ploy. If you move to another town with them early in the relationship they have you trapped because you are relying on them for everything and none of your friends or family are around.

If early on you get the impression that there might be opposition to your relationship or an expiry date you are being pressured to make a commitment prematurely.

4. Maintain your private time.

If you are being flooded with attention it may initially feel like you are loved. This is not the case. A narcissist will flood you with attention as a way of controlling you. You get used to this level of attention and then you expect it, long after it is taken away. Try to not respond to the multiple texts, messages and calls. Don't respond until it is convenient. Constantly interrupting your time with other people is one of the ways that narcissists distance you from your friends.

Why This Is Important

Narcissists need constant nourishment from others. They are trying to figure out if you are the one that is going to give it to them. By not giving it to them, you are less likely to be pursued.

A person that actually loves you, respects your right to privacy, time with your friends and your need to have time to yourself.

5. Keep seeing your friends, doing your hobbies and pursuing your interests.

If your new dating partner insists on seeing you every minute, it as a sign of pathology not adoration. The beginning of a relationship is too early to be spending most of your time with someone.

It is one thing to say, "I'm going to the movies with friends." But if someone you have just started dating digs for more detail: which friends, which theatre, which movie, are you going out afterwards? It is best to not give it. "Hiding" information from a narcissist will drive them crazy and they will not want to date you.

Why This Is Important

The ultimate goal of a narcissist is to have you all to themselves. This is part of the control that they have over their partners because the narcissist manages to eliminate everyone else from your life as much as possible. Having only one person in your life makes you very dependent on this person.

Realize you may want to be "good" and not realize that you are wired to "obey" when someone asks you to do something.

In a healthy relationship your partner will want you to be happy and having friends, hobbies and interests is a large part of that.

6. Maintain your private space.

Agreeing to have someone move in right away, or suddenly noticing that one "sleep over" has resulted in the person never leaving is a major red flag. You should make other plans and tell them that you want to go out with your friends and that they can't stay at your place.

Why This Is Important

This is just one element of how a narcissist moves in and takes control of your life. Suddenly, you will realize that they are living at your place full time. The longer they are there before you stand your ground the more difficult it becomes to maintain your space. Having someone move in right away does not allow time for you to balance this new relationship with the other priorities in your life.

Realize you are fighting biology here.

We instinctively want others around. It feels good to have company.

Quality relationships are not based on spending as much time together as quickly as possible. They are based on mutual respect for each other's lives and priorities.

7. Resist the urge to "take care of someone" you just met.

If someone tells you early in a relationship that they have come upon bad times at work, in health, a tragedy, ask yourself why you want to take care of them and why there is no one else in their lives to fulfill this role.

Why This Is Important

This is one of the tactics that narcissists use to get close to you. Examples are, "I've just lost my job and have no money". "I was living with my last lover and I ended it, so I have no place to live". "I just moved into town and have been living on a friend's sofa but I've outstayed my welcome". If they say that they just got out of a bad relationship with an awful person, insist that you don't want to be their rebound person and move away quickly.

Realize that you are fighting instincts here.

We all want to pick up the fallen bird and nurse it back to health.

Healthy relationships are between two self-sufficient individuals. If this person cannot support themselves now, they are unlikely to take care of their half of the responsibility in a relationship.

8. We all like to dream and plan, but the beginning of a relationship is a bad time to be planning to be together forever.

Try the phrase, "I think we are getting ahead of ourselves". This allows you to be honest and can be used like this: "Yes, I would love to move to New York City with you and pursue my comedy career, but I think we are getting ahead of ourselves."

Why This Is Important

One of the tactics narcissists use to keep you from leaving is to point out that you "agreed" to this relationship and wanted this relationship from the beginning. Now you are a "quitter" or "selfish" or "mean" if you are just abandoning this dream. Often, the dream was premature.

It is good to have dreams and long term plans together but these should be based on a solid relationship, not an elusive goal that is agreed upon before all of the facts are in.

9. Pay attention to how your date treats others.

Ask yourself if you want to be treated that way.

Why This Is Important

Narcissists often think that they are justified belittling those around them. They think that they are superior and therefore they can treat others badly. In any relationship, how your partner treats others can be how they will treat you — eventually.

A nice person has respect for others and respect for you and treats people accordingly.

10. Focus on reciprocity.

If they compliment you, compliment them back. If they ask about you, ask about them. If they do something for you, do it for them.

Why This Is Important

Ideally, we all want good relationships. Keeping things in balance is a good starting point for a relationship based on mutual support. By treating them exactly how they treat you, you will become aware of whether or not it "feels normal." For instance, if they buy you several gifts and it feels abnormal to buy someone you just met that many gifts, you realize that this is a red flag. This method helps you see past the joy you felt in receiving the gifts and puts them in context. If you feel like you are being disingenuous complimenting them repeatedly, realize that their level of compliments may be abnormal and this is certainly a red flag.

It is easy to get caught up in the whirlwind of a new relationship and suddenly realize that your whole world has changed. With a narcissist it is important to be very aware at the beginning and not let this happen.

This is kinda a good news, bad news type of post.

The good news is that this information will help you side step a relationship with a narcissist, someone that can wreak havoc on your life for decades.

The bad news is that your next new relationship might not work out.

Keep in mind you don't always want relationships to "work out"; some of them can be bad for you. TC mark

12 Sex Workers Explain The Difference Between Banging For Cash And Banging For Love

Posted: 07 Oct 2016 06:00 PM PDT

Flickr / Yellow Girl Follow
Flickr / Yellow Girl Follow

1.

I was essentially a long-term escort (I’d see the same guy every week for months). Since I was always seeing the same guys, I was able to develop business relationships as opposed to romantic ones.

I’d say the biggest difference is the lack of ability to get comfortable with the other person. One guy would stay the night with me in hotels and I would wait for him to fall asleep to take my makeup off and wake up before him to put it back on, even after knowing him for months. I wanted him to get what he was paying for, which was me being made up and looking nice all the time.

Something surprising I guess would be how nice the guys were. I was never asked to do anything out of my comfort zone and was always treated like a queen. Even the men that would just get a hotel too to bang in for a few hours would always get up and get e a washcloth after we did the deed, stayed to chat for a bit, and usually gave me a gift as well as cash.

— 0P055UM

2.

The biggest difference is whether or not I can relax. My boyfriend would never try to gag me or switch holes or pinch me, but the men who would pay me didn’t care. I used to be so tense during sex that I’d be sooo tight. It was very uncomfortable. There were positions I’d refuse to do because I wasn’t about to get a bruised cervix or get torn behind again.

It’s so different now. My boyfriend loves me, I feel so safe. I can do things like put my ankles on his shoulders or close my eyes.

Sometimes, my boyfriend will accidentally hit my cervix too hard or sometimes nothing even triggers it it just happens, but I get really anxious and panicky like I did with the guys who paid me. I cry so much and he always says he doesn’t mind but I feel guilty for it.

I wish I had never done it. I don’t know why I ever said it was easy money, it fucked me up pretty bad.

— ParadiseSold

3.

I was a prostitute through craigslist over my student years and also a sugar baby (male here).

Sex is pretty different as it’s just part of the role without intimacy, although you can still enjoy both the act itself and the ‘job well done’ feeling, believe it or not!

If you get on well with a repeat client they can almost become friends, with a sugar daddy, there’s genuine liking there on a rapport level.

— HouseDownTheStreet

4.

There is a lot about it that you wouldn’t expect, particularly understanding the mindset of the sugar daddies- it’s not just about paying for sex it’s about intimacy and feeling close to someone too.

I had a younger SD (35) when I was 26, so in a lot of ways it was very similar to a traditional relationship. We went on dates that didn’t involve sex (although it was part of our relationship, just not every time we saw each other), and I was able to go to fancy restaurants and events that I never could of afforded myself. The way he described it to me was imagine that you’ve worked really hard to become successful in your field. That has been your primary focus throughout your twenties and now you’ve finally reached a point where you don’t have to worry about money. My SD worked in finance and was pulling in close to a million a year and had been for about five years before I met him. He said at first it was amazing and he bought himself nice cars, multiple houses, took trips, basically bought everything he wanted for himself.

But after that he started to get really lonely and realized that there weren’t any material items he wanted that he didn’t already have, and that what he really wanted was someone to spend time with when he wasn’t working. Hence becoming a SD. The perks for him are more than just sex, it’s also having someone consistently in your life but who has the understanding that you wont be able to see each other all the time. He said he had a hard time having a traditional relationship because being so busy with work meant he couldn’t commit the time that a relationship needed, with a sugar baby that is part of the understanding.

— throwaway167532

5.

Anyway, I had a sugar daddy. He was in his late 40s. The best thing about sex with him was that he made me feel like I was something special. People my own age tend to play it cool and act uninterested, but sex with him was very passionate and very quick, and I always walked away feeling very desired, so there was no shame involved in it at all, from my end.

The price of success, for him, was that he couldn’t hold down a relationship because of how much he travels. So when it was time for him to move to his next job, he asked me if I would drop it all to be his ‘manager’. He would have paid me a hell of a lot of money, and I would have joined him on trips to the most amazing places, which he takes all of the time. It was really the life that I spent my time wishing I had, but when it was on the table, I couldn’t give up my education, friends and family for some luxury. So, I turned him down.

The time before the last time we met, he told me that he gets people things all the time, but nobody ever gets him anything. We couldn’t sit down outside or go to a shop without people asking for photos or making comments or whatever, and in private, he was filled with sadness and needed someone who would give to him genuinely. The last time we met was the day before he was leaving to wherever he was going next, alone. We had a ritual of going out for drinks, dinner, then sex, but the last time, I decided to bring some stuff to make cocktails and we stayed in, I made pasta, and we watched TV instead of doing something expensive or fancy. I initiated sex that night (something I never do with sugar daddies) and gave him a little something personal at the end.

I guess that relationship made me re-evaluate what I wanted from my life, so I quit all the sex stuff and got a minimum wage job cold calling people while I finished my degree.

— lllllllllllllllllsq

6.

I actually signed up for a sugar daddy site as research for an article I was writing, and kind of got sucked in. When you’re broke and young, the idea of getting paid for “work” you’re doing anyway sounds damn good. The first man I met with didn’t work out. We didn’t have any chemistry, so the sex was pretty blah and it only happened once. The second was only a few years older than me and it was just straight prostitution. He seemed to get off on handing me wads of cash after sex. But then he wanted to date and I wasn’t interested so I called it off.

The third guy though. He was 24 years older than me, not bad looking but not mind blowingly hot, and sort of soft the way middle aged men get. I was pretty apprehensive about whether it was going to be another no go. I was so wrong. Best sex I’ve ever had, hands down, and definitely taught me some kinks I didn’t know I had. We saw each other off and on for 3 years, even after the economy tanked and he couldn’t afford to pay me. By that time, I loved him – not really in a romantic way, but still. There was a lot of affection between us and we spent as much time bullshitting as we did having sex. I only stopped seeing him when I met my now-ex husband, and that was the end of that particular career

— frickineh

7.

I’m a camgirl and I have a sort of arrangement with one of my longtime best customers where we meet up once every week or 2, go out to eat or and/or go shopping and have sex, he throws me some cash and continues to spend lots of money on me on cam so it’s very beneficial for me. Plus he is a super cool dude and I actually like spending time with him.

I would say the thing that might surprise people is that I don’t ever feel degraded or shitty about myself for doing it. When I was younger I dated guys in my personal life that treated me like absolute garbage and I got nothing emotionally or fiscally out of it. This guy listens to me, is kind, gracious, just is really one of the nicest people I’ve ever been with. I feel like people who aren’t involved in the sex industry would tend to get all judge-y and regard this kind of relationship as debasing when it has proven to be exactly the opposite. We both get what we need out of it and we have affection and mutual respect for each other, which is maybe not as common in traditional relationships where money isn’t a factor as people would like to believe.

— bbc4kez

8.

I’ve been escorting for a number of years now, mostly as a courtesan (though that’s just semantics and keeps prices up, I refer to myself as a prostitute). My clients are usually regulars, typically older men (very few women) and very wealthy. They pay for a whole experience with me so subterfuge is sort of part of the deal. I sometimes orgasm with them and the sex can be enjoyable but it doesn’t have to be; not that the client would ever know because all the sex is the best sex ever. It’s about their fantasy and their pleasure and what I think of whatever’s going down doesn’t really matter.

I never host, only outcalls, and no bookings under 2 hours so nothing is spontaneous or unplanned. No client of mine has ever seen me without make up, I never sleep (as in actually sleep) with a client and I don’t ever drop whatever facade it is they’re paying for.

That’s probably the biggest difference. A client buys an experience that’s discussed beforehand and very rarely deviates from our arranged scenario. Sex with my boyfriend is different in that he just gets an unfiltered, real version of me. Sometimes I orgasm, sometimes I don’t, we try stuff and if I don’t enjoy it, it’s not happening again, etc.

At the end of the day, though, it’s just sex, really.

— LDN_Escort

9.

The biggest difference is that you have to always enjoy the sex when you are getting paid. Like “yes that feels amazing licking my armpit”. Don’t get me wrong I can get past some stuff and I can enjoy the sex for myself.

I had a boyfriend before I started working and he wold never eat me out. I’d asked him why and he would tell me it’s not his thing. Fine whatever. Even before I started working the guys I slept with would never eat me out. It’s just not their thing. It wasn’t until I started working. Men would eat me out. And it feels amazing!! I no longer have a boyfriend but I’m fine with that. I feel that some of the sex I have with my clients was better then having sex with my ex and I’m getting paid on top of it! BTW I’m a woman don’t mind the username.

— SirLancelotTheBanana

10.

You still can climax but it’s not fulfilling and though you become numb some moments are absolutely horrifying. Seeing yourself outside of yourself. Knowing that life has brought you to that point simply for money. I spent most of my sugar baby days imagining my current boyfriend.

Hardest part for me is being in love now and not making money. The sex is absolutely intoxicating but I don’t make 500 dollars every time. Being a sugar baby has changed what sex is to me and sometimes I regret it deeply for that reason. I can deal with the shame however the urge to be compensated is frustrating. Also, having sex as a job did over stimulate me. I found myself disinterested and overwhelmed by all the faking I had to perform. No matter how much you love something… when it becomes a job it can very well become a chore.

If anyone is reading this and considering it please give it extensive thought. I always want to abandon being in love because I know that I could hook up with a rich man a few times a month and get a free car and apartment and it hinders my relationships. Life isn’t all about money.

— yokohoeno

11.

This is going to sound odd, but I’m far more affectionate during sex with sugar daddies than I am with my boyfriend. Many older men want a sugar baby because they feel lonely – their relationships have fizzled out and their children have grown up and moved away. So they turn to sugar babies not just to satisfy their sex drive, but to fulfil their need for intimacy and affection. When I have sex with a sugar daddy, therefore, my goal is to make him feel like I'm almost in love with him (as well as make him cum harder than he's ever cum in his life). It's far more gentle, there's a lot more kissing involved and my focus is 100% on his desires – but I do frequently orgasm from this kind of sex.

Things are different with younger sugar daddies (under 40) – they often do want sex more than affection. It seems like the only reason they want a sugar baby rather than an escort is because there's less stigma involved, so sex with them is more of a performance. When I'm with them, my focus is on being sexy as hell rather than loving and attentive. The sex is messier and kinkier – although so far I've never had anyone with any "out-there" fetishes, it's mostly light-moderate BDSM and anal. It’s much more interesting, but I’ve never had my own orgasm from it. Sometimes there's post-sex cuddling, sometimes they want space. Almost every sugar daddy I've spoken to is dominant in the bedroom.

Sex with my boyfriend is usually due to lust (because he is fine as hell) so it tends to be quicker and rougher. Rather than having to reassure him of my enjoyment and enthusiasm all the time, I can focus on myself more.

The most surprising thing? I orgasm more from sex with sugar daddies than with my boyfriend. Contrary to what people think, there is genuinely a lot of affection between me and my sugar daddy, and he wants to make me feel good as much as he wants to feel good himself. They have more experience and more patience than guys my age, so even though I'm less physically attracted to them, they know exactly what to do and don't mind persevering.

— cygnenoire

12.

Former camgirl, and currently a pro cuddler (who dabbles in escorting on my off days)! Camming was iffy. I was never that good at it. My knees would hurt from sitting, or my internet would lag, also my camera is shitty. But I had a few regulars. Mostly just wanted to talk to me while I was in my bikini. Nice to talk about my interests!

Pro cuddling isn’t sex work, but it is intimate. People really open up, and you have to love them in order to make them feel comfortable. They are not going to relax if I am standoffish and cold.

Escorting is similar. Yes, some people just want to get laid, but mostly I see people who are figuring things out for themselves. They want someone, but they don’t know who. Or they are having confidence issues, and can’t do it with their partner. For me it isn’t just pay me x amount and we go do whatever for an hour. I want you to feel better emotionally and physically when you leave. It is about making you a better person (well and making money!).

— VioletViola TC mark

17 Of The Scariest Horror Movies Streaming On Netflix This October

Posted: 07 Oct 2016 05:01 PM PDT

13 Cameras

13 Cameras
13 Cameras

This movie is absolutely terrifying. It’s everyone’s worst nightmare about moving into a new place — the creepy landlord whose actually watching your every move.

The Blood Lands

The Blood Lands
The Blood Lands

What is it about pig masks that make everything so creepy?

Most Likely to Die

Most Likely to Die
Most Likely to Die

You’ve seen something like this before, but it’s still classic and fun and exactly what you want to watch around Halloween.

Sacrifice

Sacrifice
Sacrifice

Imagine being trapped on an island with a bunch of corpses from pagan rituals. If you’re not convinced, watch the trailer.

V/H/S

V/H/S
V/H/S

If you still haven’t seen this it’s a must watch. V/H/S 2 and V/H/S Viral are also streaming now on Netflix, so this is the perfect pick if you’re looking for a horror movie marathon on a lazy Friday night.

Preservation

Preservation
Preservation

Totally bizarre in an unsettling way that will stick with you.

Hush

Hush
Hush

A new spin on the classic scary man with a knife terrorizing a woman home alone story.

The Houses October Built

The Houses October Built
The Houses October Built

A perfect afternoon horror movie to watch in October. You’ll get sucked into the somewhat realistic plot of searching for the story behind “extreme” haunted houses — and then be absolutely terrified when the story turns on it’s head.

Wolf Creek 2

Wolf Creek 2
Wolf Creek 2

If you don’t think this movie is terrifying enough, read the Wikipedia article while you watch it.

Honeymoon

Honeymoon
Honeymoon

I’ve raved about this movie before, it’s truly scary and unsettling. It also feels “fresh” — it’s not something you’ve seen a bunch of times before.

Dark Skies (2013)

Dark Skies
Dark Skies

One of the movies that’s terrified me the most in recent memory. Lot’s of jump scares if that’s what you’re looking for.

Children of the Corn

Children Of The Corn
Children Of The Corn

Make this classic fresh by reading the short story ahead of time. It costs $1 on Amazon. It’s scary!!!

Sleepy Hollow

Sleepy Hollow
Sleepy Hollow

A classic, but refreshingly horrifying in it’s gothic scenes. Definitely worth a rewatch this season.

The Awakening

The Awakening
The Awakening

Watch this one on a dreary fall afternoon.

Haunter

Haunter
Haunter

A nice haunted house movie to watch alone, with all the lights off.

Kristy

Kristy
Kristy

A weird gang terrorizes a young woman alone on a college campus during holiday break.

Scream 2

Scream 2
Scream 2

It’s just not October unless you marathon-watch all the Scream movies. Unfortunately this year Scream 2 is the only one on Netflix so you’ll have to rent the others through Redbox or YouTube. TC mark

5 Ways Saying EXACTLY What You Mean Will Make Your Life Awesomer

Posted: 07 Oct 2016 04:30 PM PDT

Sweet Ice Cream Photography
Sweet Ice Cream Photography

The folks in my life know that I'm a little obsessed with "linguistic precision" – the art of finding the most accurate words to describe the thing you want to say.

I love linguistic precision because I think it's as close as we humans can get to a Vulcan mind meld. Language can be imprecise at the best of times, so I encourage people to make it a practice to get as precise as possible with the words they use.

Linguistic precision is not just about using big words. In fact, it's most helpful when you don't use big words. It's about finding better words to describe our intentions or curiosities.

Linguistic precision is all about being understood. As Leonardo da Vinci said, "The noblest pleasure is the joy of understanding."

Joy, pleasure, and understanding? Sounds good to me.

Here are five reasons to get more linguistically precise:

1. It can make your sexual requests easier to action.

Linguistic precision is powerful – so powerful that I consider it a superpower. In my "Become a Sexual Communication Superhero workshop," I outline several sexual communication superpowers, one of which is (you guessed it) linguistic precision.

The ability to clearly articulate what you want and don't want sexually can seriously upgrade the quality of sex you have.

The difference between "go down on me" and "I want you to lick me with your whole tongue and make it soft" can mean the difference between having OK sex and having sex that rocks your world.

Not all communication needs to be verbal, but verbal language is certainly an exquisite tool we have in our Homo sapiens toolbox. Why not use it to your full advantage?

2. It can help you be supportive to loved ones who are having a rough time.

Imagine someone you care about comes to you and they are experiencing some unpleasant feelings. You do the awesome thing and ask them if they want empathy or strategy (go you!). It may turnout that they want some empathic reflection – a few words that let them know you understand their feelings and needs.

Here's where linguistic precision comes in. Rather than just saying, "That sucks," try getting more specific. Are they feeling frustrated? Anxious? Overwhelmed? Tired? Angry? Try making a guess – "It sounds like you're feeling…Is that accurate?"

Wrong guesses are cool, too. Sometimes, knowing how you don't feel can be equally helpful in your process.

3. It can help prevent miscommunications.

When we get more precise in the language we use, we prevent all kinds of miscommunications. This benefits our intimate relationships, but also our work and family relationships as well.

When we use clearer language, it can also help to prevent misinterpretations. It's easy to get in our own heads and interpret the situations around us based on the info at our disposal. It's what our brains do.

But often in intimate scenarios, our interpretations can be based on incomplete data sets. How do we get better data? By getting more linguistically precise.

My mind immediate goes to the strap-on episode of Broad City. Abbi asks her new lover if he wants to "mix it up," which he takes as a cue to bring out his harness and dildo. She just meant change sex positions.

While it makes for some great comedy, it's not exactly best practice sexual communication.

4. It helps you create more exciting questions that are fun to answer.

If you're a regular reader of my work, you know how enthusiastic I am about asking better questions. Upgrading your questions can upgrade your connection and your life in general.

Linguistic precision helps you craft questions that act as invitations. Even if your partner doesn't have an answer right away, finding the answers together can be delicious foreplay.

Here are a few examples of some linguistically-precise sex questions to add to your repertoire. Feel free to change the language to make them sound more "you."

"What kind of play sounds fun tonight/this morning/right now?"

"What would absolutely delight you?" (my personal favorite)

"Can you show me what you mean by rub/massage/spank?"

Conversely, you can switch these questions around into statements:

"You know what sounds fun tonight? Doing/playing/exploring ______."

"You know what would absolutely delight me? ______________."

"Let me show you what I mean by rub/massage/spank."

5. It helps you connect more deeply to the people you love.

Linguistic precision is also about using language in more creative ways so that our intentions really register with the person we're trying to connect with.

For example, the question "How are you?" can almost fade into the background. It's asked so often, we barely register its meaning before we reply.

I was thinking about this recently at my neurologist's office. I had a migraine and the receptionist asked me how I was. Without thinking, I said, "Fine thanks, how are you?" Clearly, I was not fine, but I was on conversational autopilot.

With the folks who are close to me, sometimes we'll ask each other, "What's alive in you today?" By that we mean, "What are the feelings – both positive and challenging – that have been coming up for you recently?"

Sure, it sounds a little touchy-feely, but language that gets us to more intimate connection often does. I choose to let go of that self-consciousness in favor of having the connection I really want. And linguistic precision helps me do that.

So find the words that delight you to say and help you connect to the people you love. It's worth the time to find uncover those word gems. TC mark

What It’s Like To Be In Love When You Have Depression

Posted: 07 Oct 2016 04:00 PM PDT

"No one will love you until you learn to love yourself" is an easy enough phrase to believe is true. But it's terrifying, especially when you have depression. What if you never learn? As a teenager, it made me fear for my life as an adult. I was certain I would never be capable of being in a relationship, but I was very wrong. Honestly, I do not like myself very much, and in August of 2013, a boy fell very, very much in love with me.

I have dealt with depression for as long as I can remember. I've been on and off medications, been to therapy, but it's still alive and well, comfortable in its home in my bones. I can feel it every day, a tiny inkling that causes breathtaking emotional pain at the most inconvenient of times.

My depression doesn't care that I am in a relationship with a boy who makes me laugh, tells me I'm beautiful 20 times a day, and cares more deeply for me than any other boy has. I am grateful for the nights he holds me while I cry for hours for no reason. I am thankful that he puts up with my random periods of irritability. He constantly attempts to comfort me if I am suddenly uncomfortable when we're out in public. He fills me with hope for the future when I lead myself down the darkest of paths, plays with my hair when I'm having trouble sleeping, and encourages me to eat when I have no appetite. He takes care of me and I never even had to explain myself. I still consciously think to myself, nine months into this relationship, "Wow, someone is in love with me." I often think about how lucky I am to be loved, regardless of my flaws in chemistry.

This intense love is frightening, because every day, I fear that one more thing will push him over the edge. That one more time of me rolling over in bed, teary-eyed, for no reason, could push him away. I know it upsets him, and I reassure him through my salty, blurred vision that it's not his fault. I am often overcome with guilt and I hate that my feelings about myself cause any pain on his part. Sometimes he is not easily convinced, but I try as hard as I can with the little energy I have. Some of our nights end in a tight hug and an "I'm sorry" mumbled from my lips, but I'm just thankful that he is still happy to wake up to me every morning.

Every day is a struggle. I am constantly on edge, going back and forth between caring too much and not caring at all, wondering when he will have enough. He is quick to remind me how much he loves me, but I am just as quick to be overcome with crippling doubt. We both know that this is how forever will be, and if he hasn't given up yet, I'm certain that he is 100% all in.

Never let anyone tell you that you are not worth being loved if you don't love yourself. Never let anyone tell you that your mental illness is the reason why you are not in a relationship. Never let anyone tell you that you should smile more, fix your hair, or wear more color. Never let anyone makes you feel bad about what you can't always control.

Someone will be in love with you regardless of your most comfortable state, and if that happens to be curled up on the floor of your room, crying as you listen to your favorite sad songs, then you have found true love. TC mark

featured image – Bhumika Bhatia

10 Things That Women Over Thirty Are Too Damn Old For

Posted: 07 Oct 2016 03:00 PM PDT

basiciggy
basiciggy

If you're a woman, chances are pretty high that you'll spend most of your twenties making mistakes and trying to find yourself. It's an era of insecurity and questionable decisions – a time of terrible internships, and bad sex, and confusing emotions. If you can escape your twenties without making any life-altering mistakes, like marrying a psychopath or ruining your professional reputation, you're doing pretty good.

On the flip side, however, your thirties are the time for self-fulfillment. By this point, you've established your career (yay, big-girl job!), you've become secure in your identity, and you're somewhat solid on the path you hope to create in life. You're at the point where you're ready to stop taking shit from others and start kicking ass. You're entering a pretty amazing era.

I'm turning 32 in a few months, and I now feel like I have enough solid years in my thirties to share the decade-appropriate life knowledge I've gathered with other women – hopefully to the betterment of everyone involved. I also solidly believe that one of the best ways to figure out what you want is to first be confident in what you don't want. Therefore, I've compiled a list of things that every thirty-something woman should refuse put up with – things that we all reluctantly dealt with in our twenties. This is a short list of things we should no longer accept or waste our precious energy on as grown-ass women.

Okay, here we go. Here are 10 things that women are too old for past the age of thirty:

1. Being underpaid.

This goes double if you know that you are being paid less than your male counterparts for the same types of positions. I have no idea how the gender-based pay gap still exists in 2015 in the United States of fucking America, but it does. If you feel like you are being underpaid, or you know you are, you need to take the appropriate steps to get that money, girl. Do your research, build a case for the value of your unique skillset, approach your boss, and let them know what you expect to earn going forward.

Don't accept the run-around or a litany of bottled corporate excuses. If they don't want to pay you what you're worth, it is time to clear the decks and move on. Let them pay the intern salaries to the actual interns. You're a grown-ass woman and you deserve to buy yourself something nice, or at least not struggle paycheck-to-paycheck. Get. That. Money.

2. Neglecting your body.

Okay, so everyone understands that metabolisms slow and weight shifts on every lady as time passes. However, the "I'm in my thirties" excuse is not a valid reason to stop taking care of your figure once you reach a certain age. If you're hating on your hips or missing your old waistline, hit the gym and reclaim that shit. You may not be a youthful size zero ever again, but you can certainly transform yourself into the best, healthiest version of thirty-something you possible.

Personally, I'm 5'5 and have gone from a waifish 118 lbs in my twenties to a healthy 125 lbs in my thirties, and I couldn't be happier about it. Mostly, because I'm exercising regularly and taking care of myself, and that's the best way for a girl to maintain her physical confidence. So get yourself up on that elliptical, girl. I hear the view is pretty great from the top of your physical game.

3. Apologizing for who you are.

I'm a writer. I'm ambitious. I'm passionate. I love with my whole heart. In my twenties, I would often apologize for myself when others accused me of being too much of a dreamer, too impulsive, or overly romantic. Now, I literally give zero fucks about others' opinions.

If you feel good about the decisions you make and how you treat others, that's really all you need at this point. Insecure people who feel lousy about their own behaviors or lack of confidence may try to pick apart your character or life choices, and that is completely their problem. You keep doing you girl. Live how you feel and let your freak flag fly as high as you want it to. If you know you're a good person, you've got nothing to apologize for at all.

4. Inconsistent dudes.

In your twenties, you have plenty of time to waste on guys who are super sweet toward you one night and then pretend they don't know you the next. Some guys are just not ready to handle a romantic situation with a grown-ass woman or willing to put forth the effort that you need from them. And that's okay.

If you have to guess what he's thinking, initiate every date, or wonder how many other chicks he's banging on the regular, it is time to show the bro to the door. You're an adult now, lady. An amazing smile and killer night moves are no longer adequate replacements for consideration and honest communication. If you've given that guy every chance to prove that he's worthy of your attention and he still keeps fucking up, it's time to move on. Your thirties are not the appropriate era in which to be putting up with romance-related bullshit. Regardless of how much you care about him, let it go. You are worth someone who puts forth a consistent effort to be a part of your life.

5. Being insecure about getting physical.

I have had countless conversations with my girlfrans who expressed concern over various sexual encounters in which they were worried about the way that their may have ass looked from behind, or if the bedroom lighting was ideal, or if their partner thought that their thighs were too fat. My advice to them, almost always, is: Who. The. Fuck. Cares?

If you're a woman in her thirties who is doing everything she can to keep herself 100, there is no reason to waste your time or energy stressing about whether or not your man is comparing your thigh gap to Taylor Swift's. Because if he is, he's probably an asshole. Your body is a temple and you are aging like a fine fucking wine, girl. Be proud of what you've got to work with.

6. Comparing yourself.

Fuck Facebook. I mean really. Fuuuuck Facebook. With my most recent Facebook event invite, I realized that I will be the only one of my college girlfrans to show up at the next engagement party sans husband. And I'm okay with that. While still-insecure girls in their twenties may measure their life statuses by how many of their friends are engaged, buying houses, traveling the world, etc – grown-ass women in their thirties pay zero attention to such comparisons. By the time you're solidly in your thirties, you're mature enough to realize that everyone on the planet travels their own, unique path to happiness. You're calm enough to just chill out and just enjoy the ride. It is pointless to compare yourself to the girls you graduated high school with, or your best friends from college, or that chick who dated your graduate-school sweetheart right after you did. Comparing yourself to others only leads to unneeded self doubt, and you are way too baller of a chick to waste your time with that, now aren't you?

7. Cheap make-up.

There's a reason that high-end beauty products cost four times as much as the drug store brands. If you want to escape Wednesday's happy hour without getting raccoon eyes halfway through – you need to splurg a little for the good stuff. The same goes with skincare, eye cream, and high heels. There are some indulgences in life that make a woman really feel like a woman, and at this point you have worked too hard and come too far to live without them.

So go on, girl. Take yourself to Ulta and go crazy. Save up and buy yourself those Monolos. You deserve it, and besides – it should be easy since you've already taken charge and demanded equal pay in step one.

8. Dwelling on the past.

In the words of life coach Amy Young: "I have always done the best I could."

Sometimes, it's easy to get caught up in the choices you could have made, or what your life might have been like if you hadn't done this or that. The truth of the matter is: You did do this. You did choose that. And life does not have an rewind button. There is no sense, at this point, in dwelling on your past mistakes or missed opportunities. Your sad feelings will do nothing to propel you into the future you want. More than likely, dwelling on what could have been will just drag you down. You've got to make like Frozen and let that shit go, girl. You need to trust that you have, in fact, always done the best you could for yourself with the knowledge you had at the time, and that's all anyone can ever do.

9. Pretending to be okay.

So, I'm not saying that you have to let your emotions rule your actions at all times. However, if you're going through something rough, it's okay to take some time to yourself and deal with your shitty feelings about it. Who cares if other people don't think that the thing you're hung up on is a big deal? You do, and it's got you down, so give yourself the proper time needed to heal.

This past summer, I was thirty-one and went through a terrible break-up with my boyfriend of over three years. He made some really bad decisions regarding our relationship, and my friends urged me to "get over it" as quickly as possible on the merit that "he didn't deserve me." While that may have been true at the time, I was the only one who knew how I felt about the situation, and therefore I was the only one who could decide what I needed to do to heal. If you're going through something tough, listen to your instincts and take care of yourself. You owe that to you.

10. Boys without real jobs.

Okay, so I while totally respect a guy who has dedicated his life to a worthy cause or is currently leading a major peace-core effort or something, our thirties are the prime time to be working towards our futures here in the good ol' US of A. If I meet a dude who is around my age and still living in his parents' basement, trying to finish his bachelor's degree, that's a deal breaker. He could have a face like Gerard Butler and all I would see when I looked at him was the word "unemployed."

Work ethic and ambition aren't only sexy, they are key factors in determining the kind of future we might have together should we ever become a couple. Thirty-something gals, don't settle for a guy who wants to sit at home watching Netflix with his hand down his pants and make you his sugar mama. You'll only end up resenting the dude. Life is just too short to date boys who don't know how to man up in the career department. It's time to find yourself a go-getter.

I hope this little list inspires you to take charge and live the most amazing decade of your life in your thirties. And I promise to take all of the hate comments from the unemployed male readers in stride when they start rolling in.

The bottom line is: Enjoy your thirties, lady. You've earned the right to keep your standards and head high while marching to the beat of your own drum. You only have ten years to enjoy this perfect blend of youth and experience. Make the most of it. TC mark

Thought Catalog writer Heidi Priebe explains how to manage the ups, downs and inside-outs of everyday life as an ENFP in her new book available here.

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Here Are Your Best And Worst Traits, According To Your Zodiac Sign

Posted: 07 Oct 2016 02:00 PM PDT

Greg Rakozy
Greg Rakozy

Aries

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Eve Stanley

Positive Traits

  • Adventurous. Aries absolutely adore to take risks and are not afraid of them.
  • Courageous. There is no braver sign then the Rams!
  • Versatile. Since their constant thirst of adventures, an Aries often tries new things in the life.
  • Lively. The typical Aries is extremely energetic, there is no way for you to miss it.
  • Positive. This is why they are so popular in the social circles.
  • Passionate. Rams will usually take up with a new project with all of his heart.

Negative Traits

  • Arrogant. Aries tend to be insensitive of others' emotion since their belief that they know everything.
  • Stubborn. I am pretty sure you know this if you have an Aries close to you. This trait makes them hard to deal with!
  • Impulsive. And in addition, impatient.
  • Indiscipline. They are not the most organized people in the world.
  • Confrontational. Sometimes you'll even have the feeling that Rams love to argue.

Taurus

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Eve Stanley

Positive Traits

  • Generous. Will help anyone in need.
  • Dependable. This is what makes them excellent employees and friends.
  • Down to earth. Also polite and pleasant.
  • Patient. Unlike the impulsive rams, a true Taurus is patient.
  • Independent. Financially and emotionally.
  • Persistent. Failures and setbacks rarely occur.

Negative Traits

  • Stubborn. Horns are horns, though they are easy going and respectful.
  • Self-indulgent. They tend to be rude and ignorant of others' emotions.
  • Lazy. When not motivated properly, they won't move even a muscle.
  • Materialistic. Mainly because their future is extremely important for them.
  • Possessive. We can say that this is the major negative trait of Taurus which leads to jealousy and resentment.

Gemini

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Eve Stanley

Positive Traits

  • Adjustable and flexible. Twins definitely don't want to miss a thing.
  • Versatile. Because they are interested in a wide variety of subjects
  • Enthusiastic. And also lively.
  • Soft-Spoken. They possess brilliant communications skills.
  • Witty and very humorous. The best part of it-you'll never get bored in their company.
  • Intellectual. Clever and sharp.

Negative Traits

  • Lack of Consistency. It's hard for them to stay dedicated to one thing for a long time.
  • Superficial. Twins don't really pay attention to details.
  • Lack Decision Making Ability. Constantly on two minds.
  • Lack of direction. And they easily get bored.
  • Anxious. Gemini-born people tend to bite off more than they can chew and this results in anxiousness.

Cancer

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Eve Stanley

Positive Traits

  • Creative. Brilliant ideas are expected from them.
  • Spontaneous. Crabs usually rely on their intuition when taking decisions.
  • Faithful. Moreover, they often do not expect anything in return.
  • Loving and protective. In case a crab loves you, you'll immediately know.
  • Emotional. Although sometimes they seem distanced and icy.

Negative Traits

  • Moody. Cancer-born people tend to suffer from mood swings.
  • Pessimistic. Willing to abandon everything if they experience a failure.
  • Clingy. They sometimes find it hard to move on.
  • Overemotional. Imaginary hurts and setbacks are not rarely seen.
  • Suspicious. Again, imaginary fear.

Leo

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Eve Stanley

Positive Traits

  • Kind and helpful. The Leo easily shows love and affection on people.
  • Energetic. Ruled by the Sun, this sign has tons of energy.
  • Optimistic. The glass is half-full and that's it.
  • Straightforward. Honesty is something the Leo is familiar with.
  • Loyal. And they demand the same in return.

Negative Traits

  • Headstrong. It takes a lot of convincing to change their mind.
  • Egoistic. Actually, their ego is so big that it stumbles them in their path to success.
  • Possessive. Prone to jealousy.
  • Dominating. Because he/she is the King of the Jungle, remember?
  • Impatient. I want it all and I want it now!
  • Arrogant. Self-centred. Because this is how a king should behave!

Virgo

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Eve Stanley

Positive Traits

  • Watchful. An extreme attention to detail.
  • Intelligent. And they are always happy to learn more!
  • Practical. A true Virgo doesn't believe in living in a fantasy world.
  • Analytical. Something complicated? Call a Virgo and he/she will solve the mystery.
  • Reliable and trustworthy. He/she will absolutely do their best to do the job.
  • Modest perfectionists.

Negative Traits

  • Overcritical. This is because they already have a clear picture in their minds how the things should be done.
  • Fussy. Sometimes they get lost in the details.
  • Fastidious. Everything must be perfect!
  • Harsh. No sugar-coating.
  • Conservative. No modern ideas, please!
  • Judgmental. Because, as I said, everything must be perfect!

Libra

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Eve Stanley

Positive Traits

  • Tactful. And also experts in getting things done.
  • Romantic. Don't forget their ruling planet is Venus.
  • Charming. Their manner is very pleasing.
  • Just. The fair play is a high-valued virtue by them.
  • Diplomatic. A true Libra will always listen to the different points of views patiently.

Negative Traits

  • Superficial. Can be so impressed by someone's outer beauty that they can forget about inner one easily.
  • Detached. Sometimes they pretend to be pleasant just because they don't want to displease anyone.
  • Unreliable. Prone to changing their minds and this is why they sometimes don't keep their promises.
  • Lazy. Of course. Like the other air signs.
  • Indecisive. The hardest thing for Libra-born people is to make whatever decision.

Scorpio

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Eve Stanley

Positive Traits

  • Focused. One does not simply divert a Scorpio from his path.
  • Brave. Regardless of how difficult the situation may seem, they will make their best to solve it.
  • Balanced. Passionate, but not immature and careless.
  • Faithful. He/she will always stand by you as he/she promised.
  • Ambitious. What motivates them best are power, position and money.
  • Intuitive. In fact, they often read other people's mind.

Negative Traits

  • Jealous. And even possessive.
  • Secretive. They just don't trust people.
  • Resentful. Despite their look, a Scorpio can be hurt easily by negative treatment.
  • Manipulative. They love to dominate.

Sagittarius

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Eve Stanley

Positive Traits

  • Straightforward. The brutal truth must be spoken at whatever cost!
  • Intellectual. You can be easily impressed in conversation by them.
  • Philosophical. In addition, they have a very strong sense of right and wrong.
  • Large-hearted. Generous.

Negative Traits

  • Careless. Prone to taking things for granted.
  • Tactless. Being honest is not a negative trait, but sometimes they overdo it.
  • Impatient. Sagittarius-born people often push the things too hard.
  • Inconsistent. A consistent performance is something they find really difficult.
  • Over Confident. Because they think they are perfect!

Capricorn

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Eve Stanley

Positive Traits

  • Practical. All facts must be taken account before a decision is made.
  • Ambitious. Goats usually have big goals.
  • Wise. Also mature and sensible.
  • Disciplined. Because their big goals require it.
  • Patient. They understand everything good takes time.
  • Cautious. Definitely not impulsive.

Negative Traits

  • Pessimistic. Going against the odds is not something they like.
  • Stubborn. Goats do not easily change their views.
  • Shy. They enjoy only the company of their best friends.

Aquarius

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Eve Stanley

Positive Traits

  • Friendly. Aquarius-born people are famous for their ability to make a lot of friends.
  • Humanitarian. They do their best to make the world a better place to live.
  • Intelligent. Their interests are wide-ranging.
  • Creative. There is nothing more boring than the monotony.
  • Independent. Both emotionally and financially.
  • Loyal. If an Aquarius gives his word, he will fulfill it for sure.

Negative Traits

  • Unpredictable. This sign will not follow any behavioural pattern.
  • Inconsistent. In fact, it depends on their mood.
  • Detached. Live and let live!
  • Stubborn. Though they are excellent listeners it is extremely difficult to make them change their mind.
  • Aloof. Sometimes they become distant for no particular reason.
  • Extremist. No middle path exists for them. All or nothing!

Pisces

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Eve Stanley

Positive Traits

  • Imaginative. They like to think outside the box.
  • Kind. Fish are unusually soft people.
  • Compassionate. Always in a helpful mood!
  • Intuitive. And they rely on their intuition when making decisions.
  • Sensitive. Moreover, Fish are affectionate and gentle.
  • Selfless. Though this trait is not always appreciated by others.

Negative Traits

  • Escapist. When the things go wrong, their luck is responsible.
  • Idealistic. Hence even the best sometimes seems like mediocre to them.
  • Over-sensitive. It is not hard for them to get very emotional.
  • Pessimistic. Especially when the things don't turn out as they expected.
  • Lazy. Only for things that don't matter to them. TC mark

19 Hilarious Times People Texted The Wrong Number And Everything Went Wrong

Posted: 07 Oct 2016 01:00 PM PDT