Thought Catalog


16 Men Describe The Worst Blowjob They’ve Ever Gotten (And What Made It So Terrible)

Posted: 10 Nov 2016 08:00 PM PST

henkholveck
henkholveck

1.

Teeth. They used teeth.

— RampagingKoala

2.

She was extremely enthusiastic.

Used her teeth…enthusiastically.

Grabbed bollocks and massaged them like the Mountain massages heads…enthusiastically.

Allowed her enthusiasm to overstep her ability…enthusiastically. This lead to projectile vomiting of the sort usually reserved for the morning after a dare to deplete the full liquid reserves of a city’s breweries. To be fair, it was enthusiastic upchucking. But there’s something about picking carrot chunks out of your willy-moustache, and wiping puke off your sac, while she’s having a sob about how “it’s never happened before” and she doesn’t understand why it did “because every man she’s sucked off was waaayyy bigger so it must be your fault” that just ruins the moment.

Then she wanted to make-out to make-up. Without brushing her teeth. Blood shot eyes from her bout of amateur dramatics, snot dripping, and Mr Happy very much on a protest strike. Which lead to an argument about not finding her attractive.

— blondevikinginvader

3.

Pulled on it 3 times, licked it once. That was it. Wasn’t even the worst part of that experience. She told me to bite her boob. I did, gently, then she ripped it out of my mouth and bled on me.

— Solution68

4.

Barely any enthusiasm, pressure, or response to direction. I actually never felt less sexually compatible with a gal I went out with than after that blowjob.

— KingEsoteric

5.

She’s puked chicken Mac n cheese on me after trying to deep throat.

— wheredoyougetoffhuh

6. 

She just put it in and sucked. Maybe she’d flick her tongue here and there but that’s it. No bobbing, no enthusiasm(she hated anything sexual). Glad I got out of that shit.

— ManOfLegends

7.

Girlfriend had just got braces, felt a little burn but didn’t mind, thought it was nothing big. Didn’t realize until later, when we were having sex and afterwards I found out I could apparently become a death metal stereotype and ejaculate blood.

— Haeguil

8.

My ex was giving me head in the hotel room one night while we were on a trip with other people, and she scraped me a bit with her teeth. Didn’t think much of it, although it was odd because I Had many blowjobs from her, none with teeth.

Then, there was more teeth. So I said “Ooh hey be careful there” and she smiled and kept going.

Then again, but when I said something she looked up at me angrily, opened her mouth and fucking chomped down. I was so pissed, and my poor dick was bleeding. Of course, I said “What the fuck!” And she goes “You ignored me all day today!”, crossed her arms and pouted.

Worst blowjob ever.

— Z3ppelinDude93

9.

Her mouth was super dry, she didn’t use her tongue and the smell of my, just washed, completely clean, penis was apparently “super gross.” She had the enthusiasm of a dead marmot. Let me tell you something about marmots. . . they’re not overly enthusiastic about blow jobs even when alive.

— Valkes

10.

She passed out with my dick in her mouth. Turns out she had been prescribed Ambien for insomnia and didn’t mention that she took one a little bit before. I didn’t notice until I heard her cock-snoring . I had to very carefully lift her drooling face off my rapidly deflating penis and put her to bed, and to this day she either doesn’t remember or feigns convenient memory loss as to that night.

— SovietPropagandist

11.

The unenthusiastic blowjob is the worst. If the blowjob is out of done sense of obligation, then I just don’t want it.

Fuck, I can pay a prostitute and she’ll at least be excited about getting the money….

Or at least, I’m assuming.

— Meatros

12.

It was about a decade ago. We went out had some wings….got home and I think I hit a wrong angle with a hip thrust….suddenly wings came back up.

What made it the worst was these were stupid hot wings, so now my cock is burning from the challenge level hot sauce she ingested.

— d3rp_diggler

13.

The worst blowjob I’ve experienced was with a then-co-worker girl I knew.

When her lips went over my cock, she just slightly bobbed with no sucking or licking or damn near anything. Was super passive and a huge turn off.

— LurkingStoic

14.

She didn’t completely know what to do and was just sort of bobbing open mouthed over my little man. I had to try my hardest to subtly indicate she should try things differently.

— PhoneShop

15.

Earlier this year. We were kind of casually hooking up and one night at like 2 she decided she wanted to give me a blowjibber. After about 5 minutes of her just kind of bobbing her head up and down she asked if I was close. I was just like “not really” and asked if she wanted some tips and put her hand on it.

She got like insulted and said “fuck you” and left. I was so surprised I just kind of laughed. That was the last time we hooked up and she started dating my buddy

— julius_sphincter

16.

Two seconds of a blowjob followed by, “My jaw hurts.”

If you don’t want to do it, just say so. Don’t make up some bullshit about why you can’t do it.

— kingcal TC mark

7 Sexy Surprises Every Man Loves Getting From His Girlfriend

Posted: 10 Nov 2016 07:00 PM PST

CreateHER Stock
CreateHER Stock

When it comes to spicing up your love life, there's nothing that's going to make your man happier than an unexpected – and very sexy – surprise. If you want to ensure you're always the woman he fantasizes about – why not do some of the things his fantasy woman would do?

Lingerie

So simple – yet I still meet many men whose girlfriend has not granted them the pleasure of seeing her in a beautiful set of lingerie. When a man gets the exclusive pleasure of seeing you dress this way – just for him, it sends his brain into a spin of lust, reminding him of one of the many rewards he gets by having you as his girlfriend.

The fact is, he already knows what you look like naked, so while you might feel insecure because you don't look like a Victoria's Secret model, the reality is that's the last thing on his mind.

If you can't remember the last time you surprised your man with a nice new set of lingerie, you're missing out on one of the simplest and most effective ways to be his fantasy.

Striptease/lapdance

If you really want to give your man a treat, be his own personal stripper. Sit him down, then move, grind and lapdance as you unwrap yourself to nothing. Make use of that new lingerie as your final layer. I'll guarantee none of his mates’ partners have done it for their men, and he'll think himself the luckiest bloke in the world.

You initiating sex

Men are used to being the initiators who kick things off and move things forward.

But if, week in, week out, this is the only pattern, there comes a point where a man wonders "Would this even happen if it weren't for me?"

If he starts to suspect it wouldn't, it makes him feel unwanted, unattractive, and like he no longer does anything for you.

If you want to give him a surprise he'll love while letting him know how sexy you find him, then show him, every once in a while, how much he turns you on. Initiate sex when he isn't expecting it. You'll make him feel like a man and guarantee he's going to keep wanting to jump you.

Spontaneous sex outside of the bedroom

If you want to surprise him, then it's about doing something he isn't expecting. Initiating sex in the bedroom is one thing – but what if you were to initiate a quickie… elsewhere?

I can't think of anything sexier a woman has done for me than surprised me with "I want you – right here, right now" and I know many men who share the same sentiment. If your goal is to be the most mind-blowing girlfriend he can imagine – spontaneous quickies will leave him the envy of every man he knows.

If you're not feeling confident about spontaneous quickies, there's a wonderful book by Joel D Block called The Art of the Quickie: Fast Sex, Fast Orgasm, Anytime, Anywhere. It's about spontaneous sex and ensuring you enjoy it just as much as him. If you're a little unsure about sex outside of the bedroom – it's well worth the read.

Role play a fantasy

It's old school, but it works. Surprising him with a policewoman, schoolgirl or maid outfit is always going to be a winning strategy when it comes to making your man happy.

You'll usually have to do this one in 2 parts – the first step is finding out what his fantasy is. Don't overthink this – just ask! See what he's done before, what he hasn't done, and what he loves the idea of. Don't give too much away though – ask in an off-the-cuff manner, then for the next few days, act as though you've forgotten about it. That way, when you stroll in two weeks later wearing it, he's truly taken aback.

If he doesn't seem to have any fantasies or seems shy about sharing them, you can always suggest some of your own.

If bringing up your own fantasies makes you nervous, tell him about them in the context of 'dream you had'. "Sooo – I had this dream last night where you… (insert fantasy). It was actually really hot"

Spontaneous blow job

Let's be honest: We knew this one was going to be here. Remember, men are used to having to initiate and get you riled up before you want us. It's an absolute fantasy to find you want us – this badly – without any prior warning.

An alternative – if you're feeling extra loving – is to warm him up first with an unexpected massage. There's no way to better relax your man after a big day than a massage with a little something extra at the end.

If you want it – come get it

Finally, here's a sexy little surprise that combines a few of the above. I first heard about "If you want it, come get it" from a friend, and considered it to be one of the simplest and sexiest fantasies I've ever heard of.

Get your man out and about. A park, a picnic, a walk. Somewhere low on people and rich in plant life. Then, get him riled up. Whisper in his ear about all the naughty thoughts you've been having. Tell him about fantasy you've been thinking about. Let him know you're not wearing any underwear…

He's hot under the collar. He wants more. Soon, he's telling you he wants you right there…

That's when you tell him "If you want it – come get it" and dart off into nature! You’ve already got his testosterone surging, and having to chase you will only get his blood pumping more. He gets to chase his catch – then do what he wants once he's got you. What he does once he finds you is anyone's guess – but I guarantee he'll enjoy it.

Many women let their own insecurities get in the way of doing something surprising, spontaneous, and incredibly sexy for their man. Fear and insecurity is the enemy of fulfillment. If you're a little self-conscious doing some of these things – that's ok. Hell, that's normal. But don't let it stop you. If you're serious about blowing his mind, building confidence by pushing through your insecurities will truly make you the woman of his dreams. TC mark

5 Things You Should Never Do Right Before Bed

Posted: 10 Nov 2016 06:30 PM PST

Alisa Anton
Alisa Anton

You might have heard people say that you should only use your bed for sleeping, and in this blog I want to explain why that is SO true. I'm sure many of us have had a night where we felt we only tossed and turned and got pretty much no sleep at all. I know between busy lives and distractions finding their way into our bedrooms, plenty of you are having a lousy night's sleep.

Your routine and behaviours during the day can have a big impact on the quality of your sleep that night. Healthy sleep habits, known as good 'sleep hygiene' are really important to ease you into the land of slumber. Bad habits, on the other hand, can really ruin a good night's sleep.

For a better chance of nabbing a restful night of sleep and waking up ready to take on the world, here are a few things you should never do in bed.

1. Be tempted by late night snacking

While it's a bad idea to go to bed hungry, eating a big meal right before you sleep can also lead to a restless night. Often snacking before bed isn't necessarily the problem, what you choose to snack on has more of an impact. As you may have guessed, late night burgers aren't topping the list for foods that make it easier to sleep. Foods with high fat content can cause heartburn, which may keep you awake long after you've finished snacking.

If you're feeling peckish, I recommend opting for lighter options or foods with naturally occurring tryptophan If you were wondering, tryptophan is an amino acid that assists serotonin production, which can help you drift off to sleep. You can read about some of my favourite late night snacks here. Stay away from sugary cookies or biscuits, as well as caffeinated drinks, as the sugar hit can help keep you awake. When your tummy rumbles at night, avoid snacking in bed too. Your bed should be a place of relaxation and used only for sleep.

2. Finish off that presentation

I'm sure the idea of working from the comfort of your bed is VERY appealing to many people. In saying that, being in work mode when you should be in sleep mode (or at least pre-sleep mode) means your brain is still very active. When you are on a deadline or replying to emails, you're still thinking and planning. Your brain, being the clever little thing it is, may then begin to associate your bedroom with this kind of activity.

Following a nightly pre-sleep routine can help your brain to associate your bedroom with sleeping (which is why I recommend not to eat or work in it). Once you've trained your mind to recognize it's time to slow down, you may find falling asleep much easier.

3. Have an Argument

Being angry or having a heated argument with your significant other (or anyone else) can severely affect your ability to nod off. Your bed should be a sanctuary where you feel calm and relaxed. Arguing leaves you feeling tense and flustered, so it will probably take you longer to fall asleep. Even worse, not getting enough sleep can make it hard to get through the next day – hello crankiness!

There is also a chance you will replay the argument over and over, which can reinforce the negative mood and keep you awake longer. If you feel yourself getting agitated at a situation or a person—remind yourself now is not the best time to act on it. Sleep it off and then pick-up the conversation again in the morning.

4. Sleep with your pets

I love a cuddle with my dogs as much as the next person (or even more!), but they don't always understand the idea of quiet time. Sharing your bed with a pet may be comforting, but it's not always good for a peaceful night's sleep. Particularly if your pet is a large breed, their movements can disrupt you during the night. There is a good chance you'll notice every time they scratch, roll or make noise. Not to mention they can hog the covers, leaving you in an intense game of tug o' war when you want to roll over!

5. Watch TV

If you are one of those lucky people who can fall asleep anywhere, watching a little TV before bed might not bother you. For many of us though, the light from your screen can affect our brain's ability to wind down. While you might think the noise and the lower lighting makes it easier to drift off, the light can actually affect your circadian rhythms. Without going into too much detail, the light can actually trick your brain and body that's it is time to be awake when you should be winding down.

The same goes for tablets and phones — even with the new night modes many of them have, it's best to keep them away from the bed. In general, try to keep your bedroom as dark as possible.

Poor sleep can have such a big influence on your productivity for the day, and it really is essential for a healthy lifestyle. I recommend being consistent with your sleep schedule and practicing good 'sleep hygiene' as much as possible.

Try to stop worrying so much if you can't fall asleep straight away, as this can often keep you awake as well. As with many concerns, a positive mindset can help to encourage a better quality of sleep. I hope these suggestions make it easier for you to get plenty of restful slumber! TC mark

When He’s Your Dream Guy One Day And An Asshole The Next Day

Posted: 10 Nov 2016 06:00 PM PST

Jesse Herzog
Jesse Herzog

Your feelings for him aren’t going anywhere.

After weeks of complaining about him, you decide you’re finally going to say goodbye–and that’s the exact moment when he decides to be adorable again. He flirts with you, compliments you, and reminds you why you liked him so much in the first place. It’s impossible to get over him, because every time you think you’ve had enough, he changes his tune.

You have no idea how to treat him.

You never know how to behave around him, because it’s like he has two completely different personalities. When you text him, he’ll either text back in two seconds with a flirty reply or he’ll completely ignore you. He’ll either remind you why you should keep fighting for him or remind you why you shouldn’t be wasting your time with him.

He puts in the minimum amount of effort.

He doesn’t go out of his way to make you happy, but he puts in just enough effort to keep you hanging on. He’ll pick up a coffee for you if he’s already going to Starbucks himself. He’ll tell you personal details about his childhood, but only because you brought up the subject. He doesn’t actively try to be a part of your life. But he does enough to make you think he cares.

He shares intimate moments with you.

You’re the type of person that thinks a kiss means something. Sex means something. Even those tiny glances that you shared in a roomful of people mean something. But you can’t tell if he actually gives a shit about those “significant” moments. He never tells you what he’s thinking, and when he does, you can’t tell if he’s lying to get what he wants from you. When it comes down to it, you really don’t know him at all.

You can’t tell if you’re single.

Should you be exploring your other options? When you flirt with other men, you feel like you’re cheating on him, even though you’re pretty sure he’s been flirting with other girls. Maybe even sleeping with them. You don’t want to be a sucker, sitting around waiting for a man that’s never going to commit, but you don’t want to run off and ruin your chances with him, either.

He has constant mood swings.

When he treats you right, you feel like the luckiest woman in the world. Nothing can snap your smile, even a fight with your parents or a sucky day at work. But when he treats you like crap, you question yourself. Are you too ugly for him? Too boring? Too predictable? Your mood depends entirely on his attitude.

You’re confused about where you stand with him.

Does he want to be with you or not? He’s the king of sending mixed signals. Yes, you know that everyone says mixed signals mean he isn’t actually interested, but… On his good days, it really seems like he wants to be with you. It really seems like you’d work as a couple. That’s why you don’t know what to do. TC mark

What It Really Feels Like When Someone You Love Cheats On You

Posted: 10 Nov 2016 05:00 PM PST

 María Victoria Heredia Reyes
María Victoria Heredia Reyes

Cheating on someone is one of the worst (I repeat – WORST) things you can ever do to someone. To you, it might have been all a game, but to them, it might have meant everything.

Whether or not you're doing it to fill a void or just for the thrill of it, when you cheat on someone, you're doing more than just hurting them. You might be unaware of the consequences of your actions, but let me tell you, for someone who has been cheated on, it will always be some sort of reminder to them – it will always haunt them. It is a concoction of heartbreak, anger, regret, anxiety, and shame all rolled into one.

When you cheat on someone, you're telling them they're not good enough for you. That you never loved them.

You may beg to differ, but how can you put someone you truly love in such a position? To make them doubt their self-worth? To make them question everything they thought they knew about you? To make them believe that their trust was completely misplaced?

"Did I do something wrong?"
"What could I have done to prevent it?"
"Why did this happen?"
"Am I not good enough?"
"Why did you do it?"

– are questions you'll ask yourself over and over again when you've been cheated on.

You don't cheat on someone you love. Period.

When you cheat on someone, they'll always be emotionally scarred. They'll have their walls up because they don't want to ever be hurt that way again. To feel like your world is crumbling, to believe that things like that happened, but just not to you. You see it in movies all the time, but we all know what happens in the movies and what happens in real life are two completely different ball games altogether.

They won't let just anyone in; and even when they do let someone in eventually, they'll always be guarded.

They'll be paranoid, and you can't blame them for it. Even if they're in a new happy relationship, they'll carry the hurt and the emotional baggage from the previous relationship into their new relationship – whether it be conscious or not – and it can't be helped. They'll always be suspicious, but don't blame them for it; they're just afraid that the same thing will happen to them again, and they can't go through something as painful as that ever again.

They'll want to trust again, but it'll be difficult for them. They would take forever to learn how to trust, and how to be okay. Even if they've come to the rational conclusion that their cheating ex is a horrible person, you'll somehow still fear that every future partner has or is cheating on you. Congratulations, you're now an emotional wreck and a mess inside, and you're going to spend every waking moment trying not to imagine the worst because you believe you're completely broken.

When you cheat on someone, what you really mean to tell them is this: "I don't love you. I don't respect you, and I don't care for/about you. I didn't think about us, and how this would affect us. I was only thinking about myself."

Is just one person not enough for us anymore? Aren't we supposed to just find one person whom we think is worth it, and always stick by them through the good, the bad and the ugly?

When you love your partner, it means you respect them. And when you cheat on them, you're betraying all of that. Isn't it absolutely apparent that loyalty is fundamental in any relationship? We don't need a Guide Book for Dummies for that, do we?

So please, leave if you must, but don't cheat on someone you love, because that is the worst kind of damage you can do to someone who loves you.  TC mark

How To Heal From A Relationship With A Narcissist

Posted: 10 Nov 2016 04:30 PM PST

Tyler Rayburn
Tyler Rayburn

Many of us have been there.

You met the person of your dreams – charming, intelligent, romantic, attentive, incredible chemistry and great lover. You might have been told how wonderful you are, how this was the first time your lover had ever felt this way and had this level of connection, and you felt truly seen for the first time.

Perhaps there was a nagging unease that all this was happening too fast – that he or she couldn’t possibly feel this way about you without knowing you better. But you were swept off your feet and finally decided to open your heart.

The confusion may have started then, as your lover pulled away and become critical. Or, it might have started after you married, and you found yourself with a partner totally different than the person you fell in love with.

Whether your relationship was two months or two years or two decades, it was likely tumultuous, confusing and painful. And if you were married and then divorced, it might have been more painful or even frightening.

There is much healing for you to do if you were in love with a narcissist.

The Process of Healing From Your Narcissistic Partner

1) First you need to be very compassionate with yourself and let yourself grieve for the huge loss of what you had hoped for. It might seem easier to judge yourself for the big mistakes you believe you made, but self-judgment will keep you stuck. There is no possibility of healing when you judge yourself.

Each time the grief comes up, embrace it with kindness and caring toward yourself. Even though you know it’s better to have ended this relationship, it’s hard to let go of the intensity of a relationship with a narcissist. It’s hard to imagine a future relationship that isn’t boring compared to the intensity you’ve been experiencing.

2) Once some of the grief has subsided, then it’s time to go inward and explore why you were vulnerable to this person. Was your partner giving you what you were not giving to yourself? Was your partner seeing you and valuing you in the way you need to be seeing and valuing yourself? Did you ignore some red flags because you so wanted it all to be true?

Did you make excuses for your partner to avoid facing the truth? Did you give yourself up to try to have control over getting your partner to be loving to you again? What did you sacrifice to keep the relationship – your integrity, your financial security, your time with family and/or friends, your time for yourself, your inner knowing?

It’s vitally important to be honest with yourself so that you don’t end up feeling like a victim, and so that you have less of a chance of repeating this in a future relationship.

During this time of self-reflection, it’s very important to get support. You might want to join a 12-Step CODA group, go into therapy/facilitation, and/or join a support group.

3) Educate yourself about narcissism. There are numerous books, websites and articles devoted to understanding narcissism. Since I’m certain that you don’t want to repeat this, you need to do all you can to learn about what happened. You need to become sensitive to the numerous red flags so that you can pick them up very early in a subsequent relationship.

One of my clients shared that she had met a man six years ago, dated him a few times, and then they remained distant friends. Recently, when she was in his town, they saw each other and she was very attracted to him. He came on strong, inviting her to join him on an upcoming European vacation. She felt uneasy, but a day later texted him to see if he wanted to have dinner with her. He never responded to the invitation. It took her only 24 hours to recognize these two red flags of narcissism – coming on strong and then disappearing. She was pleased that she found this out so soon! Instead of beating herself up for being attracted to another narcissist, she congratulated herself for staying open to the truth.

Since narcissists are often very attractive, any of us can become attracted. But whether or not we will pursue it depends on how much Inner Bonding work we have done. TC mark

Just Because I Stopped Chasing You Doesn’t Mean I Stopped Loving You

Posted: 10 Nov 2016 04:00 PM PST

Brooke Cagle
Brooke Cagle

Just because I stopped chasing you doesn't mean I stopped loving you; it only means that I am putting one foot in front and choose to free myself from the shackles and nightmares of our past, a wish that I would grant on my own.

Chasing you was like anticipating for the rain in summer, it made me realize that I am just wasting my time, energy and efforts.

Instead of waiting for you and hoping for you to come back, I've decided to just let it go, let you go.

There's no point of holding onto something that I don’t have any assurance of. I've been your captive for how many years, and maybe it's time for me to focus on myself now. You deal with your own and I with mine.

In need to live a happier and more peaceful life; I need to do this, not because of you or even for you but for myself.

I am not saying that life with you was just all disgrace, drawbacks, and troubles; with you, it was a combination of ups and downs but never giving up, an incredible and unstoppable mess I enjoyed creating, a rollercoaster ride that made my heart pound, an exciting journey I would never mind getting lost, and an adventure I will always miss.

But this is it—God, the universe, fate, destiny—they intervened and there's nothing I can do to change what has happened.

If gaining the best for myself means letting you go, then I must be willing to do it. If losing a connection with you right now means opening myself to new connections around me, then I'd rather choose not to hear anything from you. If not giving you the ability to see me in my weakness means being capable and undaunted of my own frailty, then I'd give you the satisfaction that I am doing well and fine by myself.

I must grab this opportunity to grow, to recover all the time that I’ve lost, to discover new things, to create new relationships, to make wonderful memories especially with my friends and family, to achieve the things that are ahead of me, and to become this woman I’ve always wanted to be.

I can't deprive myself of the true joy that I fully deserve.

All the tears we wept and problems we faced, they were bridges to something more extravagant, and I truly believe in that. All the stories we made, wishes that we once clung to, plans that were thoroughly laid out, and good memories we collected, shared and treasured, they were lovely things that will always be in our pasts.

They are pieces of us that no one can ever take away.

I swear, they were all true, they were real, and we were real. We were tandems you and I, but this time it's different, it's going to be just you and just me.

But choosing to end things with you and putting myself first doesn't mean that I'll stop loving you. Because in the back of my mind, you're still there, a space in my heart that will forever be occupied by your existence.

You left a mark on me that no one could ever replace.

I'll forever love you. I'll love you in a way that accepts you as the person who changed me, who gave me the inspiration to make myself better as before, and to love myself even more. I'll love you for the friendship and companionship we've established and shared. I’ll love you for the way you helped me through this cruel life. I'll love you in a way that will still leave space for you, if we would ever stumble across each other 5, 10 or 20 years from now. And if we run into one another then, I'd be pleased to know your story over a cup of tea or coffee.

And what I promise to never stop doing, is to love you by praying for you, wishing what's best for you in life and hoping that you’ll have everything you’ve been dreaming of.

Because, after all, you're still that person who once believed in me, trusted me and loved me with all your heart, mind, and being. And you'll always be special to me. TC mark

11 Things You Might Not Realize She’s Doing Because She’s Guarding Her Heart

Posted: 10 Nov 2016 03:00 PM PST

Jesse Herzog
Jesse Herzog

1. She’s hard to get to know. She’s been hurt before, she isn’t just going to be an open book for anyone to pick up. She values her privacy and wants to make sure anyone she shares sensitive information with is worth the risk of opening up to.

2. She’s more interested in learning about you than talking about herself. Before she trusts you, she has to know you. She wants to know that you’re trustworthy and that you’re not going to put her on blast or make her regret opening up to you. She won’t tell her secrets to just anyone, she’s going to wait for you to prove you’re worth it.

3. She won’t sleep with you right away. It’s not because she doesn’t want to, or because she won’t (eventually) have a high libido. She needs to see you wait around to prove that’s not all you’re interested in.

4. She’s cautious when meeting someone new. Long after she trusts you, you notice her being shy around new people when she’s not a shy person in general. You can see that her nervousness isn’t unique to you, she’s hesitant to open up to everyone.

5. She wants to prove to you that she’s enough. She’s been made to feel like she’s nothing before so she has a drive to prove to the people she cares about that this notion is false. She’ll be extra dependable and refuse to make promises she can’t keep.


6. She wants you to protect her.
Not because she’s weak. Not because she can’t take care of herself. But because she’s used to watching out for herself and knowing someone else has her back is a complete game-changer.

7. She wants you to have confidence in her. Her greatest fear is that she will fail you. Even if she cares about doing the best by you, even if she’s smart enough to give you what you need — she’ll still worry about it. She wants to make sure she’s capable (and you believe she’s capable) of being the absolute best partner you could have.

8. She’s stronger inside than most people. She’s cautious because she’s almost expecting something to go wrong. Don’t judge her by how many times she has fallen, judge her by how much strength it takes to get back up.

9. She needs you the most when you’re fighting. She has a difficult time with conflict because as distant as she can be, she cares deeply about your feelings. When you’re not aligned is when she most needs your reassurance that you two will figure it out together.

10. She lets you initiate. When you initiate, it reinforces your interest in her and eases her doubts that you’re not as into it as she is.

11. She loves you fiercely. The reason she bothers being guarded to begin with is because she fiercely believes in love. She wants it more than anything and she’s willing to do the difficult work of doing something that’s hurt her before. If you can make it through this beginning period, she’ll be dedicated to you forever. TC mark

11 Men On The Excruciatingly Honest Thing They Miss About Their Ex

Posted: 10 Nov 2016 02:00 PM PST

Look Catalog
Look Catalog

1. “She dumped me, so I’m dealing with the rejection and missing her. It sucks. I still wonder constantly if I’ll meet someone like her again. She wasn’t like anyone else I’ve ever dated. She made the world seem bigger, like more things were possible. She was supposed to be my partner, and now I just feel stuck in my sad, small life again.”

2. “I was fine right after the break up. I didn’t miss her that much and generally thought it was the best thing for both of us. But as the weeks went on, I actually found myself missing her more. She has a lot of friends and family in our city, while I only have a few guy friends. I didn’t have someone to really talk to anymore, and I realized I won’t until I start dating someone new, which could take awhile.”

3. “I tend to not feel things that much, and I was fine with breaking up with my last girlfriend, we we just weren’t compatible. But this random Sunday a few months later I was sitting at home getting stuff ready for the week ahead and this overwhelming sense of loneliness hit me. I missed her so much in that moment I almost broke down and called her and every other girl I’ve ever been with. I don’t know where it came from but it made me start taking dating a little more seriously. I want to meet someone now. I’m tired of being alone.”

4. “I broke up with her because I’m in my early 20’s and I was jealous of the freedom all my friends have. I was tired of answering to someone and not being able to flirt with strangers and do whatever I feel like doing. But it turns out being single is pretty lonely. I miss her laugh, I miss the cute texts she’d send me every morning, I miss being counted on and having someone to talk to at the end of a shitty day.”

5. “I actually met a great girl a month after a really bad breakup. We’ve been dating for four months at this point and I’m really happy, but that doesn’t mean I don’t miss my ex sometimes. I miss the little things she did that my current gf doesn’t, like how she was so affectionate where I sometimes feel like I have to ask for a hug or something now. There’s pluses and minuses to every relationship, but it’s hard to not to compare someone to your ex and miss all the ways they were a little bit better.”

6. “My ex was out of sight, out of mind. I thought I was totally over her until I saw her at a bar one day. She was out with friends and she was laughing and she was looking incredible in a sexy dress. She electrified the whole place. I actually ended up texting her later that night, but no dice.”

7. “My breakup was followed by an immediate sense of relief. I was happy to be single for the first time in 3 years, to sleep in a bed alone, and basically just to not have to answer to anyone. But as time went on I began to miss having a partner in crime. There was no one to laugh at my jokes or cook dinner with. There’s nothing like a sad microwave dinner for one to make you realize the single life ain’t that great.”

8. “I worry I’ll never meet a girl whose sex drive matches mine again. It was a pretty rare thing.”

9. “I hate getting home and parking my car in the garage and knowing no one will be there when I open the door. I hate coming home to an empty house.”

10. “My ex was very affectionate and was very affirming that she was turned on by my body, that she respected my intelligence, and that she loved my personality. Current gf clearly likes my personality, but is pretty judgmental about attractiveness. She’s never expressed it, but sometimes I feel like she’s slumming it with me. She’s super hot and very fit, and I’m not so much. It’s an insecurity I didn’t deal with in my last relationship because I always felt so loved.”

11. “I never felt like she was ‘the one’ until she was gone. Losing her made me realize what I had. I was an idiot for not seeing it at the time and I still miss her every day. Hindsight, I guess.” TC mark

15 Men Confess The Surprising And Uncommon Traits That Always Make A Woman Attractive

Posted: 10 Nov 2016 01:00 PM PST

Brandon Stanciell - www.heretakethese.us/
Brandon Stanciell –
http://www.heretakethese.us/

1. Beauty, Kindness

Beauty and kindness. A sense of humor is a bonus, but the other two are more important.

I want my woman to have eyes worth losing track of time whilst gazing into on infrequent periods, and a heart that will never, ever make me want to leave her side.

TheAdventurousWriter

2. Red Heads

Is she pretty?

“Yeah”

Is she pretty and has red hair?

“Excuse me while I wreck my life because crazy redheads are the best.”

whoshereforthemoney

3. She Has To Have A True Sense Of Humor

Laughter. If a girl can laugh, and take herself, the people around her, and life in general not-too-seriously, I’m on board.

Humorless people just kill me inside.

VincentGrayson

4. An Affectionate Woman

If she is affectionate.
I’m addicted to affection.

_Real_Me

5. She Has To Be Brave And Care About Others

Radical, but mature love for the other.

Someone who sees others as human regardless of who they are or what they think or do.

Someone who is willing to take a risk just for the chance at helping someone else.

Someone who would chase down the man who stole her purse and give him her coat too.

But someone who is willing to stand up to wrongdoing with courage and spine, yet still gentleness.

Who will fight viciously against hate and exploitation. But will still want to care for the wrongdoer.

Who values others over herself.

And most of all who knows that though it’s impossible to achieve all of the above, believes in that model of love firmly enough to strive for it despite the fear, and pain, and failure. And has the grace to forgive those around her who also fear, and hurt, and fail to achieve the ideal that they pursue.

That’s attractive beyond anything else. Always.

Kwickgamer

6. She Needs To Be A Rebel

Intelligence, determination and a sense that rules are for other people.

WasterDave

7. Intelligence, Passionate About Life

Intelligence and passion in something (wether it’s in life itself or a hobby or their job, etc).

My first girlfriend was an absolute workaholic, was fluent in five languages, went to some of the best schools in the world and interned and later found jobs in several prestigious companies where she currently works. She was more intelligent then most people I knew (male or female) and I just loved talking about random policy changes in various countries or she would just out of nowhere go “oh do you know what’s happening in X country?” and after shaking my head no she would go into a deep analysis of some current situation and we would talk about it.

We’re still friends now and I absolutely love talking to her to this day.

My second long term girlfriend was intelligent but in a different way. She was/is an artist and is currently going to grad school to become an architect. The look on her face when she saw some magnificent piece of art or the way or eyes would dart around when she saw a well put together building, I can’t really put it into words but it made me feel so warm inside seeing this beautiful intelligent woman get so wrapped up into an art piece or a building.

Sorry for my rambling, they are both in my past now but for better or for worse I hope I can find someone who is equally passionate and intelligent.

komnenos

8. It’s A Balancing Act

There’s no one thing. There’s always another parameter that in the extreme could turn into a deal breaker.

I am very attracted to an exuberant personality and intelligence… so much so that I’ll overlook a lot of physical beauty issues…but if you’re 350 lbs it’s not happening no matter how awesome you are.

Likewise if you’re a perfect 10 with great tits and legs for days you’ll definitely turn my head, but if you have a shit personality or are dumb as a box of rocks I’m out fast.

djc6535

9. She Has To Be A Kind Amazon

Confidence, assertiveness, kindness to those less fortunate than them or where they have authority/power over, and of course a similar sense of humour to mine.

Physically? Amazonian traits and/or ‘lesbian’ hairstyle.

Arcforward

10. Someone Who Pushes Herself

Obviously appearance, but beyond that: being outgoing, not ashamed of what they like or dislike, pushing themselves and others to do more.

awkwardindividual

11. Basic But Essential

If she is nice to me.

Wolfhoof

12. She Has To Be A Conversationalist

Pretty & good at making conversation.

I’m the type of guy to walk into a room and just start talking to any random person. The amount of people I’ve spoken to who can’t make conversation is disheartening =/

Also, I’m not trying to blame them or anything, just saying being a good conversationalist is very attractive.

ConflictedJew

13. Looks And Skill

Black hair, green eyes, a chocker, sharp wit, and skill in some hobby/talent that I suck at.

Causes mental short circuiting. Certain brain processes just don’t function and damn. Just damn.

TheCharmingImmortal

14. A Joker

Intelligence and cheekiness. If a girl can make a (good!!!) joke about me, she’s earned herself a lot of attention.

clawjelly

15. A Girl Who’s Competitive

One who beats me. I’m extremely competitive.

Oh you got 93 on our contract law quiz? Yup, were gonna be looking into anatomy on our soon to be study date.

Chicago_Jazz_Hands TC mark