Thought Catalog

The Blowjob Technique That Will Make Him Hard AF, Based On His Zodiac Sign

Posted: 11 Nov 2016 08:00 PM PST

Twenty20, carleyscamera
Twenty20, carleyscamera

Aries: March 21st – April 19th

Don’t give him a blowjob in his bedroom. Do it somewhere public. In the bathroom of a restaurant. In a classroom on your college campus. In the car on your way to a party. Somewhere spontaneous and unexpected.

Taurus: April 20th – May 20th

While you’re touching him, use one hand to touch yourself–either by fondling your breasts or by rubbing your clit. When he sees you masturbating, it’s going to send him straight over the edge.

Gemini: May 21st – June 20th

Don’t use blowjobs as a means to an end. Use them as a form of foreplay. Warm him up by moving your mouth along his cock, and then finish him off by climbing on top of him and riding him. He’ll orgasm instantly.

Cancer: June 21st – July 22nd

Cancers love intimacy. That’s why you should look him in the eyes while you’re blowing him. You don’t have to stare. Just flick your eyes up every few minutes to make him feel special.

Leo: July 23rd – August 22nd

While you’re going down on him, tell him how badly you want him to cum in your mouth. And when he does cum, make sure to swallow and compliment him on how delicious he tastes. Show him that you enjoy everything about blowing him.

Virgo: August 23rd – September 22nd

Tease him. When he gets close to an orgasm, stop what you’re doing. After he calms down, you can start back up again. If you do this, it’ll take him a while to cum, but when he does, it’ll be the best orgasm of his life.

Libra: September 23rd – October 22nd

Libras love the human form, which is why you should give him some extra stimulation by putting on porn. Or, if that idea makes you uncomfortable, remove your own clothing before going down on him. Give him something sexy to stare at.

Scorpio: October 23rd – November 21st

When you’re blowing a Scorpio, don’t be afraid to get a little rough. Suck hard. Dig your nails into his thighs. Let him grab you by the hair. Just don’t bite down.

Sagittarius: November 22nd – December 21st

Experiment with different sensations. Try grabbing an ice cube and sucking on it for a bit before going down on him. He’ll love the cold feeling against his cock.

Capricorn: December 22nd – January 19th

Once in a while, give your mouth a break and use your hands, so you can dirty talk. Tell him that you love the feel of his dick. That he’s making your pussy wet. That he’s the sexiest motherfucker you’ve ever seen.

Aquarius: January 20th – February 18th

If you’re blowing an Aquarius, you shouldn’t use the same move over and over again. Get creative. Move your tongue in different directions. Fondle his balls. Try swallowing or humming while his dick is still in your mouth. Anything.

Pisces: February 19th – March 20th

Moan. He cares about your experience as much as his experience, which is why you should show him you’re really into it. Make it clear that the blowjob isn’t a chore. It’s something you’re excited to do. TC mark

17 Men Reveal The Most Brutal Way A Girl Has Ever Broken Up With Them

Posted: 11 Nov 2016 07:00 PM PST



In high school my ex broke up with me by texting me on christmas morning at like 7am to tell me she was leaving me for some other dude (who I later found out she was cheating on me with).

That was fun

— PlanetaryGenocide


After 2 years with her I got a text in the middle of the night that said “I have a new boyfriend now”. So that was pretty weird and unexpected.

— chubbyurma


I met a girl when she was a couple months pregnant, fell pretty hard. Helped her through the process, ended up even being her birth partner. Cutest kid. I did everything right, was very supportive, a life saver when she wasn’t able to get around by herself.

Anyway, she works through PPD. After that, we’re still going strong, the cute kid helps. Come Christmas time, we’re house sitting, with the kid, having a great time. Exchange gifts, the whole works. I go to work one day, stop a friend’s house on the way home. Sending her texts but I’m getting terse comments in reply. I figure she’s just busy or something, get going.

I walk through the door, and everything is just gone. All the baby stuff, stroller, walker, everything. All hints of her and the baby have just been vacuumed up. A little note left on the counter, saying “Nice knowing you.”

T_T most awkward thing in the world was having to tell people when they asked about the cute little baby they’d had the chance to meet.

She ended up giving the kid up to her parents, getting married, getting divorced, and this was all in the last 2 years.


— Siliceously_Sintery


Wasn’t even really told. Just got blocked.

She had moved to Brisbane 3 months earlier, I had been visiting every second week. She became real close to another guy, didn’t bug me, I trusted her. But at the same time I felt like something was off. At the time I wasn’t sure if my discomfort was a result of adjusting to long distance or jealousy so I just left it. One afternoon I get off work, try to text her and she’s blocked me on facebook. Blocked my number. Everything.

Got a text later that night from her new boyfriend saying “don’t bother visiting”, along with a bunch of pictures of them fucking…

That sucked.

— iLikeAssFightMe


She started being a huge bitch while I was on vacation with my family to try to get me to break up with her. When I figured out that’s what she was doing I convinced her we should stay together. We made it another month and she started doing the same thing – and also cheated on me with one of my best friends.

— whatswhat61


GF of a few months went to Paris with some friends (1:20h flight from here) and by pure chance met her ex who had left her before.

She came back explaining she would leave me for the chance of being with him again after they fucked around in Paris.

It was pretty bad. Being cheated on and broken up with. In the long run it was for the best. She stayed single for many years.

— GYN-k4H-Q3z-75B


Was with a girl for ten years. Out of nowhere one day she picks a fight with me over nothing, screaming at me and trying to get me to yell back but I wouldn’t. She says she’s staying at a friends house if I’m going to act that way. I told her fine but if you leave you’re not coming back. A switch flipped like that’s exactly what she was waiting for, packs all her stuff and starts leaving.

At this point I’m freaking out and asking why she’s throwing away ten years of our lives. She just smiles and said she doesn’t love me, I ask since when she says she never had. I tell her she’s destroying me, I love her very deeply and need her, again just a smile before she says, “I know that’s why I’m leaving.”

Got in her car blocked my number and drove off, never to speak to me again. I hear from friends later that she’s telling people I was emotionally, mentally, and physically abusive, also I cheated on her. None of that was true not sure why she said it. That was a year and a half ago and I still feel completely broken by it.

— cvb457


She cheated on me after 5+ years of dating but still refused to break up (she was “confused”), so I had to do it.

So not only did I have to be upset about the fact she cheated, but also had to deal with her negative reaction to me breaking up with her.

Dodged a bullet, though, I don’t talk to her anymore but heard through a mutual friend she cheated on 2 other dudes she dated after me. Glad I didn’t listen to her pleas to take her back.

— CardinalsFanatic


I was pissed off she wouldn’t cut ties with her ex (eg he would beg, and she would say “maybe”) so I told her to leave and come back when she was done with him.

So she went straight to my roommate and fucked him.

— PolloMagnifico


She studied abroad in Russia for severals months, did not hear from her ONCE throughout the entire trip other than the initial “hey I’m in Russia now” phone call. When she came back, I was pissed that I was ignored the entire time and she acted like we were broken up, so basically we “broke up” when she left to study abroad without my knowledge.

— ChompRock


After dumping me she immediately ran over and kissed the dude she cheating on me with. She looked as happy as happy could be.

— Cornelius4129


In my second year of college I was sorta seeing this girl. We had hooked up a few times, had sex once, but I wasn’t really really into her. She felt that, and one day she had a conversation with me telling me that she wanted me to be more involved in the relationship. Her dorm neighbor was hitting on her, and if I didn’t want to lose her I needed to be more involved.

So I tried to be, and it went apparently fine. A few weeks later she invited me to her place on a sunday night and told me she was making me tartiflette, a very nice dish which I love. I arrive at her place, and the tartiflette is disgusting. But she’s dressed super sexy, and keeps flirting with me during the meal.

After the meal we sit down on the couch, begin to talk and we come closer and closer. At one point she tells me “Hey, do you remember I told you about my neighbor who was hitting on me, and I couldn’t choose between you and him?”. With a smile, I said yes and began leaning in to her. She told me “Yeah, and I chose him”.

I was completely flabbergasted, I left after 5 minutes and went home by walking. To this day, I still don’t know why she did all that.

— organichewn


Dated a girl for about a year, so I decided we should start talking about expectations and plans. Not marriage, but just making sure we have long-term potential.

Well, she kinda visibly deflated (figuratively of course), and said she doesn’t see long-term potential with me. After a long conversation, in which I explained that from conversations we had shared, I thought our long-term goals, world-views, and career plans were pretty well-aligned, she goes on to explain that it’s not the big things, but the little things. Things like the fact that my car is always dirty (I’m a soccer coach), I make a mess when I cook (she doesn’t cook because it’s messy), I sweat in my sleep, and while my spontaneity is fun, it makes her worry that I’m undependable. She said she loves me, and has never enjoyed spending time with a guy as much as me, but would get tired of “that stuff” after enough time.

Basically, all the little details that make me who I am aren’t worth all the things that make me a good boy-friend. That was a BIG ego killer…

She’s now engaged to the antithesis of me: a short, bald real-estate developer that she even admits has no sense of humor and isn’t the best kisser. But he’s comfortable and provides security, which I must admit that I don’t.

— 91Bolt


For the whole time we were together she kept getting calls from her ex-bf. Dude was a real piece of shit. She was his girl on the side, he knocked her up, called her a slut and said it wasn’t his, she miscarried, and he tried to start things back up with her, after saying he wanted nothing to do with her when she was pregnant.

Once we became “facebook official” she started getting calls from him calling her a bitch and saying she should come back to him, only he can make her happy, etc. I told her to just block his number but she kept saying “I’ve never done that to anyone, I just want him to respect my decision”. Shortly after that he started showing up to her house when she wasn’t there. She said he was on really good terms with her dad so he was just stopping by to say hi to him.

I told her that this made me really uncomfortable and that I wanted him out of the picture, which she threw in my face telling me I was being paranoid and that she was done with him. Yeah, we all know how this ends. “I still have feelings for him”, I was out of her life. The icing on the cake was when I found a coat her dad had let me borrow a couple of weeks later and called her to see if he wanted it back. She had blocked my number. He treated her like garbage and she still had feelings for him, he didn’t even take her to the hospital when she was having a severe allergic reaction because he was busy playing xbox. I treated her like a princess and I got blocked.

The story has a happy ending though. I’m in a dream relationship with a girl that blows me away with how amazing she is. Both of us are excelling at our dream jobs and looking into where to buy our first house. I don’t know, nor particularly care where my ex is, but as far as I know she’s still a cunt.

— Bilbo332


I invited my then GF over for dinner. I was going to cook for her. She doesn’t show up, isn’t answering texts and calls. Doesn’t answer me for a week saying she thinks we should end it. By the end of the week though I was like yea no shit.



One time I walked in on my ex with another dude. And I had specifically asked her not to talk to this dude. And that’s when I learned a very valuable lesson: never ever ask a girl not to talk to a specific person. Because they will seek out that person like they are the only water source in a nuclear wasteland.

— danielsucksvagin


So I was seeing a girl in college. A girl had roommates. My friends all start seeing her roommates. One big happy group spending their days in one big happy house where said girls lived.

These guys were my friends through my childhood and teen years, very close. Well one of us was having some mental health issues, things got really dark, and he took his own life. I got the phone call from his parents and flipped into autopilot, ended up having to tell the other guys, his roommates, even his girlfriend. I cleaned out his filthy room of all the mess and drug paraphernalia. Tough shit, don’t remember that entire day except one part. After a day of breaking bad news, all I wanted was to go back to stay at my girls place where all my friends were.

I knocked quite a bit. I called, texted, nothing. Chain smoking in the cold, I finally got ahold of one of my friends. Apparently the girl I was seeing didn’t want to see me. So I walked home and slept alone. Eventually just stopped trying to contact her. Damaged my relationship with these guys I had called my brothers my whole life, too. Instead of supporting me, they took her “side” because the people the got comfort from lived in the same house as her. Never felt so outcast in my life. Came close to suicide a few times in the years after.

I get that she wasn’t into me if I was grieving, fine. But don’t just discard people like that. If she could have just helped console me for a week, even just one night, I would have seen the decency in that. But no. Not one word. Not one acknowledgement. Completely thrown away. She literally replaced me within the month with a guy who has THE SAME NAME, looked like me, studied the same major, and was from the same general area. Made some poor decisions to cope.

Over the next few years I continued to run into her around the city. In my anger I thought she was callous but eventually realized it was shame. She was afraid of damaging a fragile person and made a cowardly decision. I’ve forgiven her and moved on. We were only seeing each other for a few months and I held onto that anger for too long. Although, my relationship with my male friends from that time has all but disintegrated. For the best I guess. Those years taught me resilience and thus I’ve come along way. They all ran to comfort and they are still in our tiny home town.

Doing much better now!

— FernsAreFine TC mark

23 Sweet Things To Say After Sex That Will Make Your Connection Even Stronger

Posted: 11 Nov 2016 06:00 PM PST

Franca Gimenez
Franca Gimenez

1. “You always make me feel so good.”

2. “You get me so hot.”

3. “I love the way you make me cum.”

4. “I love you”

5. “You spoil me.”

6. “How did you get to be so skilled?”

7. “I missed this.”

8. “I love making you cum.”

9. “You’re so fucking hot.”

10. “Your cock is perfect.”

11. “I love the way you make me feel.”

12. “Thank you.”

13. “Holy shit.”

14. “You’re the best lover.”

15. “I’m so lucky you’re mine.”

16. “You definitely know how to fuck all the stress out of me.”

17. “You drive me wild.”

18. “That felt incredible.”

19. “Wow.”

20. “I really needed to get off today.”

21. “You’re so sexy.”

22. “You should write a book.”

23. “You getting me off is the perfect way to end every day.” TC mark

Read This If You’re Feeling Disconnected From Your Partner

Posted: 11 Nov 2016 05:30 PM PST


“We can’t seem to connect anymore.”

This is one of the most common complaints I hear in my counseling practice.

We all know that it is generally easy to connect at the beginning of a relationship – before all the protections and defenses come up. But what do you do to reconnect once you feel disconnected from each other?

In order to answer this, let’s first look at what creates disconnection.

Emotional Disconnection

Emotional disconnection occurs when one or both partners have closed their hearts. We emotionally connect with each other from our hearts – not our heads. We can connect intellectually from our heads, but when people complain that they can’t connect, they are generally talking about emotional disconnection.

When your heart is closed, you have disconnected from yourself. The heart is the channel through which you can feel your feelings, so if there are feelings you don’t want to feel, you close your heart in order to not feel them.

What are the feelings you don't want to feel?

It took me a long time to understand why I would close my heart. I had been closing off from some very painful feelings for so long that I didn’t even know what the feelings were. Upon exploration, I thought that I might be closing myself to avoid feelings of anxiety, fear, hurt, guilt, shame or anger. But with deeper work, I discovered that it was actually my disconnection from myself – my closed heart – that was causing my anxiety, hurt, guilt, shame and anger. So, if I was causing these feelings by closing my heart and staying in my head, and by judging myself or by turning to various addictions, why was I closing my heart in the first place? What was I avoiding feeling?

It took me years of inner inquiry to discover the deeper feelings that my closed heart was protecting me from feeling. These were the feelings of intense loneliness I had experienced as an only child, with distant parents and no siblings to play with. These were the feelings of heartbreak when my mother screamed at me daily, blaming me for her misery, and the heartbreak of my father’s attempts to have sex with me. These were the feelings of helplessness over their disconnection from me and over not being able to ever get them to see me. These were the feelings of grief at having my beloved pets suddenly disappear because my mother didn’t like them.

I could not handle any of these feelings, so I learned to disconnect from my heart and stay in my head. I learned to turn to various addictions rather than feel these feelings. I learned to be a very good girl, to try to get the love that I had not received, and didn’t know how to give to myself.

When two people do this in a relationship – each partner protecting against feeling their deeper core feelings with each other – the feelings that are there when there is anger, blaming, judgment, withdrawal or contempt – they feel emotionally disconnected from each other.

Emotional Connection

The challenging truth is that we cannot connect with another until we connect with ourselves. This means that we need to open our hearts to feeling and learning from all of our painful feelings – the wounded feelings we create and the core existential feelings of painful life experiences.

When you learn to fully embrace all of your painful feelings – with a compassionate intent to learn – you will be able to keep your heart open with your partner. When your partner is also able to keep his or her heart open, the two of you will connect.

Connection with your partner will occur easily and naturally when you and your partner have the courage to fully embrace all your feelings with a deep intent to learn. You will easily and naturally connect with each other when you are both openhearted and connected with yourselves. TC mark

The Truth About The Girl You Call ‘Hard To Get’

Posted: 11 Nov 2016 05:00 PM PST

She let her head rest on his chest. It had become a regular occurrence. She waited until she knew he was asleep before she snuck out for the last time. She grabbed her shoes and carried them in one hand as she headed towards her car. Even though she slept in his bed, she was never going to be his.

She was always the leaving type.

Some girls are built differently. They're not ready or willing to think about forever when they have so many other things filling their lives. Maybe they don't believe in love. Maybe it's because they were hurt bad before. Maybe they're just not interested in falling in love right now. Either way, they're not going to be the one who you wake up with in the morning. It's a quick rendezvous that will leave your head spinning and wondering where the hell you found her.

She's not trying to hurt you. She'll always be upfront and honest. She'll tell you the truth even when you don't want to hear it. She's not going to be the type of girl that's around forever unless you can show her something she's never seen before.

She's not going to be able to stay put unless you make her feel things, real things, she never thought existed.

Otherwise she's going to hit the road. She's going to be around long enough for you to wonder exactly what the hell you had managed to get yourself into. She cares about you but she cares about herself more. She's needed to be on her own for a while and it'll take a special person to make her realize she can rely on more than just herself.

When she meets her person, the one that's going to make her stop dead in her tracks, she's not going to know what hit her.

Suddenly everything she never needed becomes everything she wants. She's going to fight it with everything she has. She's not sure what being settled is but she knows she doesn't want it.

Except she does.

She's always known that when she found someone who felt like home it was going to scare the absolute shit out of her. She was going to hate the fact that she was turning into those gushy, love sick people she had always made fun of. Her friends are going to notice she's different. They're going to notice that when she talks about him a small smile creeps across her face. Every guy before was a nonchalant shrug but this guy is a full blown smile.

She's going to let herself think about the future. The future she never wanted to share with anyone except maybe a dog. She is going to finally figure out why every one of her friends liked having a plus one at big events. She was going to experience that once in a lifetime feeling that shows her what she's been missing out on.

She won't show you right away her cards that she's holding so close to her chest. It's something she's never had to do before. It's because all of the guys before were temporary. She's never been the type to just let someone in. They have to earn a spot in her life. She never wanted to be this way but life has taught her she needs to trust actions and only just listen to words.

So maybe this girl is hard to get but when you do get her she's going to show you more love than you've ever known. She's never done anything half ass and that'll be obvious. When she slows down and realizes she's met her match, she's going to blow your mind. TC mark

My Anxiety Isn’t ‘Quirky’ — It’s Exhausting

Posted: 11 Nov 2016 04:00 PM PST

It’s a Friday night and all of your friends are over at your place eating dollar-store tortilla chips and microwaveable cheese dip when all of a sudden Johnny throws up in the middle of the room! Come on, duuuuuuude!!

Maybe it was the marked-down cheese dip that got to him (my bad), or maybe it was the beefy burrito he scarfed down from Taco Bell on the way over… either way, the smell coming from that gigantic heap of Johnny’s stomach acid instantly makes everyone start throwing up too.

So now, it’s this huge big barf-tastrophy: a barf-ocolypse of sorts.

In other words, it’s a big disgusting heap of throw-up which continues to grow, the smell of barf making your group of friends continuously empty their stomachs onto the already cringe-worthy apartment floor.

Not a pretty picture, is it?

Well, that’s what anxiety feels like: a group of friends constantly throwing up in your head. Every thought, every plan, and every “what-if” compiled, constructing this huge shit-show freakout you can’t stop.

I have so much anxiety that my anxiety has anxiety. It’s like trying to maneuver through 879 tabs in a browser while also attempting to have a meaningful conversation with a friend and simultaneously trying to study for a test.

It’s crazy. It’s chaotic. And it never stops.

People who don’t have anxiety don’t fully understand it. I’ve had people tell me, “Don’t worry about it! We will get it done tomorrow.” Or, “It’s okay! If it’s meant to work out, it will work out.”

And I just want to say right back to them, “No, it’s not okay.” And, “I WILL worry about it, thank you very much.”

This is just how my weird brain works.

I have two planners in my purse just so that I can try and keep everything organized. I’m constantly making lists in the notepad on my phone in order to not forget anything. Whenever I have to participate in a group project at school I end up taking the reins because I’m too afraid everyone else will wait till the last minute and it won’t get done.

I have to control everything or my anxiety worsens.

My mind is insane.

Sometimes these “quirks” work to my benefit, but the majority of the time this craziness doctors call anxiety is extremely debilitating.

Anxiety IS a mental health disorder. Some people think that people who suffer from anxiety can just change their mindset. They think it’s not so much a mental disorder as it is some kind of need to control everything. But that is not the case.

It plagues my mind. It makes me think of the worst case scenario all the time; it makes me worry about anything and everything, and it frequently takes over my life. It dictates almost everything I do.

The group of friends throwing up in my brain does not stop. Ever.

Sometimes I can put a tv on in that vomit-filled apartment and drown out the noises – pretend it’s not happening for a bit – but then it returns.

I’m tired of people telling me it’s “easy” to think differently. It’s not. I’m tired of people telling me to “stop thinking negatively” and to “just let it go” and "stop trying to control everything" because I can’t.

People need to understand that anxiety is a mental health disorder, and it can’t just be turned off. It’s so common that 3 million people are diagnosed a year! 3 million people who cannot function normally because of the thoughts in their heads. 3 million people who have a barf-ocolypse occurring in their heads.

If you had a group of friends throwing up in your head constantly, I don’t think you’d want other people to telling you “don’t worry” about it either. TC mark

You Don’t Give A Damn About Me And It’s Slowly Killing Me

Posted: 11 Nov 2016 03:30 PM PST

Look Catalog
Look Catalog

I think it's time to walk away, but it's so much harder than I could have imagined. I can't wrap my mind about you no longer being in my life, even though I know it would be the best thing for me.

I had this vision in my head, where you played the main character and we fell deeply in love with each other. The only problem is that I wrote the script and I never shared it with you. I never let you know the role you were supposed to play, but instead I just assumed you knew. I assumed you knew what I wanted and what I hoped you could give me, but now it's apparent that you can't.

You can't give me what I'm after and I have to accept that and be okay with it. I have to let you go because I'm holding on to nothing, I'm holding on to made up scenarios and empty, unfilled hopes.

Because it's clear you don't give a damn about me.

You don't give a damn about me and it's getting the best of me. It's consuming me and I'm trying to stop it, but I can't.

I need to shut the script and start over. I need to scratch the lines that I wrote for you and go forward on my own. I need to stop waiting for you catch up to a place you'll probably never get to.

I need to stop hoping you'll turn out to be the guy I made you out to be in my head.

I tried to turn you into someone you're not and someone you'll never be, well at least someone you'll never be able to be for me.

You call me, but only when it's convenient for you. You sleep by my side, but only when you're lonely. You might want me, but you don't need me.

And that's the biggest problem. You don't need me and I need you.

I long for you and you don't even reach for me. I dig deep for your soul and you only give me the surface.

To you, I'm only an option and I promised myself I'd never be anyone's option again. I told myself I deserve more than to be a backup for someone, because I do.

I don't deserve to be only called when you get lonely because I love too hard and you don't love at all. But you know I'll be there, you know I'll be hanging around because you know just how into you I am. You know you have me wrapped around your finger, but it's time to cut the string and let it all go.

It's time to stop giving my heart to guys who don't want it and start saving it for someone who is proud of it. It's time to stop allowing myself to be mistreating and taken advantage of because I get lonely. It's time to stop all of it and it's time to put myself first. It's time to love myself and be my own first priority.

I'm done giving a damn about you when you never gave a damn about me.

I'm done letting it slowly kill me. TC mark

If He Does These 16 Things Without Being Asked, He’s A Grown-Ass Man

Posted: 11 Nov 2016 03:00 PM PST

Derrick Freske
Derrick Freske

1. He tells you how he feels about you. He doesn’t want to leave you guessing because he cares about you feeling secure in the relationship.

2. He celebrates your accomplishments. He isn’t jealous or intimidated to be with someone who has something going for her.

3. He keeps his apartment clean because he’s too old to live in filth and has a high standard for the kind of life he wants to live.

4. He trusts you. His demonstrations of love are not dependent on being possessive or jealous.

5. He doesn’t raise his voice just because he’s angry. He’s able to be calm and reasonable in conflict.

6. He talks about you to his friends and family, he is proud to be with you.

7. He has goals for the future and works towards them. Wherever he is now, he has a plan for what he can do next to create the kind of life he wants.

8. He brings things up to you instead of avoiding conflict, he trusts you to handle tough conversations and earnestly cares about you two having a healthy relationship.

9. He makes you feel like you are enough. He doesn’t lament your shortcomings, compare you to his exes, or go on about how his life would be better if it weren’t for your flaws.

10. He makes sure you orgasm in bed. He doesn’t put pressure on you if it takes a long time, but is genuine and inquisitive about how he can make sure you have an awesome experience.

11. He apologizes when he’s wrong. He doesn’t make excuses and he owns up to his mistakes.

12. He treats service people with respect. He says “please” and “thank you” and doesn’t treat people as if they are less than him.

13. He can cook for himself and isn’t looking for a relationship because he’s lonely or needs a mother-surrogate.

14. He shows up on time. When he says he will be somewhere, he keeps his word.

15. He puts down his phone when you are talking to him. He wants to listen to you, not be distracted.

16. He sticks up for you. If someone says something bad about you, he defends you. Even if you’re the one being self-deprecating, he supports you. You know that he’s always got your back. TC mark

36 Ways To Tell Who You Are, According To Your Myers-Briggs Personality Type

Posted: 11 Nov 2016 02:00 PM PST



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9 Reasons Why Dating Someone With An ‘Avoidant’ Attachment Style Will Actually Lead To A Forever Relationship

Posted: 11 Nov 2016 01:00 PM PST


Those with an avoidant attachment style will often forgo intimacy for autonomy and self-sufficiency; however, avoidants have a heightened sense of awareness regarding their avoidant tendencies, knowing these propensities can hinder a relationship. While many psychologists claim those with avoidant attachment styles are the most damaging in relationships of the four types, I disagree. In fact, I believe dating the right type of avoidant can actually lead to a forever relationship.

1. They don't rush into things.

Avoidants are the ones who trust the least out of the types, but they will be cognizant of this. They will know that to truly trust someone will require them to be vulnerable. Avoidants will take their time getting to know you, gauging whether you are worthy of their trust. Some do this by starting the relationship with a friendship first. This is good — people often rush into relationships only to realize they weren't compatible in the first place, and by racing towards a label or with an end goal in mind, they often miss out on obvious red flags. Avoidants contend with themselves wanting to be close to someone and pushing them away simultaneously, but they won't let physical or false intimacy dilute their judgment; thus, avoidants will take things slow.

2. They don't allow strangers into their lives easily.

At the beginning of a relationship with someone whose attachment style is avoidant, you will be piqued by their enigmatic nature. When asked about themselves, avoidants will reply with one-sentence answers and make the focus of the conversation about you, hence avoiding talking about themselves. Avoidants are so adept at diverting the attention off them with their charming demeanor that it might be hard to see at first how guarded they can be. It is important to note this form of gracefully maneuvering attention away themselves isn't always done with conniving intent.

Because avoidants take their time letting people in, the relationships they do form are deeper and more meaningful.

3. You get healthy independence from being with an avoidant.

Avoidants prioritize the need for autonomy, and will ensure that level of independence even when they are in a relationship. Their partner must respect where their avoidant is at and meet them there as they grow in their relationship together. In other words, it will take time for your avoidant to learn to rely on you, and you must be patient with them.

As you're getting to know your avoidant, you will experience a refreshing dose of independence from being with them. Avoidants will need time away from others to recharge and do their own thing. They won't be clingy or demanding. They won't feel the need to know where you are at every second. They're also not the type to change up their schedule for another person, and will appreciate when dates are planned and when their partner follows through. Avoidants don't put their partners on a pedestal; instead, they encourage them to maintain separate lives from one another and not be codependent. Avoidants will appreciate the relationship they have with their significant other as it is, and won't center their entire life around a single person.

4. They're honest with you while still keeping your feelings in mind.

Avoidants have an extreme aversion for confrontation and expressing emotions, but just because they are reluctant to open up doesn't mean they aren't forthright about their feelings. It might take your avoidant a few hours, or even a couple of days to finally divulge what's on their mind, and conflicts can be frustrating, as they can take a while to resolve. Chances are, they'll need you to gingerly coax the words out of them, but they won't play games and will always tell you the truth because avoidants are honest people. Honesty is important to avoidants because it helps reduce conflict, and avoidants hate conflict.

5. They are highly empathetic.

Avoidants understand what it's like to be hurt by someone, and will do all they can to make sure their partner doesn't experience what they themselves went through. Most avoidants become avoidants either from neglect or trauma from their childhood. They have experienced pain and loss, and as a result are more empathetic than others. Avoidants are best paired with people who are accommodating and compassionate, and whose attachment style is secure.

6. They know their weaknesses and will handle constructive criticism well.

An avoidant who's interested in a committed relationship will do all they can to be present and mindful of their avoidant tendencies. It's essential their partner understand how distant they can be, and not take it personally. This is simply how your avoidant is wired. If your avoidant repeatedly distances him or herself from you, you should give them specific examples of what they do that makes you feel they are distancing themselves. They will appreciate your straightforwardness and take criticism well, as long as they know it will help them be better partners to you. Avoidants are definitely not the best at communicating, but encourage them and be gentle with them, because they will do what they can to to make it work.

7. They value emotional closeness more than physical intimacy.

Avoidants have a buried need for emotional connection. They are more interested in getting to know how you think about the cubism movement more than how your lips feel on their skin, which is why many avoidants prefer being friends first before dating. Emotional intimacy is built by spending quality time together just as friends would, and avoidants are happiest on dates where they can laugh one minute and and have serious conversations the next.

8. They are extremely loyal to those they love.

Avoidants are extremely loyal to those they love because it is hard for them to love. They typically have a few confidants (whom they completely trust) over a wide circle of acquaintances, and they know how valuable it is to meet someone who accepts their flaws and calls them out when they need it. Avoidants typically have extremely close friendships up to the point where they will do anything to protect them. Once a significant other gains the trust of an avoidant, know they will do the same for them.

9. Once they love you, they will never let you go.

Every attachment style is capable of loving deeply, but once you earn the trust of an avoidant, they will give you all they have. They will surprise you with how much they are constantly improving to be a better version of themselves. They will reveal their nurturing nature towards others and show you that part of them, the side they are afraid makes them look weak. They will no longer hide their imperfections from you, and will gladly spend all their time with you (in reasonably healthy amounts) instead of burying themselves in their careers or hobbies. They will even start speaking up when they have something they need to address, knowing full well the substantiveness of communicating. They will freely initiate affection towards you because they want to give, and not giving when they yearn to will be too frustrating for them to handle. Once they love, avoidants will no longer hold back from themselves. They will let you see who they are underneath all the walls they have built over the years and they won't let you go, because once they love, they realize you could be their forever. TC mark