Thought Catalog


50 Ridiculously Dirty Sexts That He’ll Definitely Masturbate To While Reading

Posted: 13 Nov 2016 08:00 PM PST

Noah Kalina
Noah Kalina

1. Touch yourself. I want you to masturbate at the same time as me.

2. I’m looking through your Instagram photos and pleasuring myself. I hope that’s okay.

3. I just reached a hand into my underwear and can’t believe how wet I am.

4. I’m typing this with one hand and using the other hand to get myself off.

5. I’m picturing you naked. Underneath me. With your hands tied.

6. I’m rubbing my clit. But I wish I was stroking your cock.

7. I’m completely naked right now — except for my thigh highs.

8. Do you ever think about me while you’re cumming? Because I think of you.

9. I wish you were in bed with me instead of this vibrator.

10. If it takes me a while to answer your texts tonight, it’s because I’m masturbating.

11. My nipples are hard and my pussy is wet.

12. I want to kiss you down your back. And up your shaft.

13. Nothing makes me hornier than the thought of you thrusting into me from behind.

14. I want your hands in my hair and my lips on your cock.

15. What would you say if I asked you to fuck me in the ass?

16. I want to feel your dick hit the back of my throat.

17. Guess what color underwear I’m wearing. Or if I’m wearing any at all.

18. I just had the most intense orgasm.

19. I had a sex dream about you. And fucked myself as soon as I woke up.

20. I’m going to masturbate in the shower. Feel free to picture it.

21. I want to feel your hands on my breasts while I’m bouncing on your cock.

22. I want to wake up with your tongue on my clit.

23. I miss the taste of your cum.

24. The next time I see you, I’m ripping your boxers off with my teeth.

25. I can’t stop thinking about your orgasm face.

26. I want to cuddle with you — so I can feel your boner pressed against my ass.

27. You’re the best sex I’ve ever had. Did you know that?

28. I want to leave teeth marks and scratches on your shoulders.

29. I need you. In my pussy, ass, or mouth, I don’t care.

30. I’m masturbating, but your tongue feels so much better than my hand.

31. I want my tits pressed up against your perfect chest.

32. I can’t stop thinking about being pinned down and fucked from behind.

33. I want to look into your eyes as you orgasm into my mouth.

34. I want one of your hands on my ass and the other around my neck.

35. The guy in the porno I’m watching looks exactly like you.

36. I want to feel how soft your lips are. And how hard your cock is.

37. I wish you were in bed with me right now. Naked. Just like me.

38. I really want someone to suck on my tits right now.

39. I think about you every night when I touch myself.

40. I’m fucking myself in front of a mirror.

41. I wish you could see the new bra I’m wearing. It makes my tits look hot.

42. Do you want me to take pictures while I masturbate?

43. You have no idea how turned on I get when I picture your ass.

44. I know you’re not here, but I’m still going to moan your name as I cum.

45. Every time you text me, I get wet.

46. I can’t stop fantasizing about the last time we fucked.

47. You’re the hottest guy I’ve ever masturbated to.

48. I’m wearing that thong I know you love.

49. I always cum harder when I’m thinking of you.

50. I’m horny AF. TC mark

This Is How I Want To Be Wanted

Posted: 13 Nov 2016 07:00 PM PST

Ali Kaukas
Ali Kaukas

I want to be devoured — I want to be picked up and spun around with a thirst and a fire to consume me. I want to be wanted so passionately part of me could shriek and run with bare toes into the white froth of the ocean. I want to be chased lovingly, and sweetly–where his hands are magnets to the small of my back, where there may very well be super glue attached to our lips — where we ask if we can eat kisses because our limbs and arms and mouths do not dare part unless for food or ocean or work or play. I want to be chased with the intention of being kept.

And in being kept, I want the world to hum slowly in the distance for a little while as the entire world is found in one being.

And later we will play, yes yes of course we will play and interact and drink big glasses of wine and stare at stars and enjoy rich company that sparkles with joy — but in the beginning let us drown.

Not drown in a way that is suffocating, but in a way that we are taking gulps of freedom we didn’t believe could be found in togetherness.

Let us synch our hearts to beat to the same rhythm. Let us find freedom in how deeply we choose one another. Let our falling in love be like the exhale to the inhale we didn’t know we were choosing.

I do not want you to poke at me shyly, I want your hands to grab the flesh of my heart and swallow it whole.

I want to feel the entire presence of your being inside of me, while I sleep, when I first open my eyes — I want the worlds and planets to square in the rotation of our connection.

And I don’t wish you to fear this, I wish for every molecule of your being to not be able to withhold from throwing your foot behind mine.

This is how I want to be wanted. TC mark

13 Real Men Reveal What They Think Makes Someone A Good Woman For Dating

Posted: 13 Nov 2016 06:00 PM PST

Ieva Urenceva
Ieva Urenceva

1.

She’s a source of energy and strength, not something that depletes her man.

— SerPuissance

2.

A good woman is someone that adds something to your life and graciously accepts when you add something to theirs.

— LEIFey

3.

It starts with them considering themselves and therefore wanting to be a good woman/ a good person. People who define themselves as “bad girls” / “bad boys” are too immature for me.

Also, people seeing themselves as good and wanting to be good usually results in them discovering their own capacity for kindliness and gentleness, and a modicum of emotional balance. That is the minimum requirement of being a good woman for me. All else builds upon that first great cause.

— middaysun

4.

Kind to others

Healthy ego

Intellectually curious

Comfortable with who she is

Humble, yet confident

Seeks constant improvement of self no matter the scale

— Timanous

5.

  • Kind smile to the server at a restaurant. Somebody that is nice to wait staff, says thank you at the guy making her burrito at chipotle.
  • Is emotionally there when you need it, men face a lot of insecurities and uncertainties. We’re not all stoic all the time. So somebody that is emotionally there and strong when we’re not.
  • capable of non-judgemental communication. Able to talk out issues without going overboard with accusations. Able to just communicate issues.
  • has a good network of friends, you can tell a lot of a person by who they’re with. So a good network of stable friends, people she still goes out with. So her life isn’t totally dependent on you.
  • has her own career goals. Somebody who has her own life, and professional desires and goals. Works hard to progress with her own goals, somebody that didn’t base her whole life around her future partner but instead lived her own life and found somebody to live their own lives together.

— Lost_in_costco

6.

Off the top of my head: a good woman is honest and communicates openly and directly.

— John_Farrier

7.

Comfortable in her own skin.

Does not jump to conclusions and weighs decisions using logic, not personal opinions.

Is not afraid of expressing her needs vocally or physically but still equally understands and is considerate to her partners needs.

She is her own person, independent. When with a partner they become a team and are not in competition against one another.

Is not afraid to show her affection towards her partner in fear of giving away power. This should be mutual anyway.

— UnexpectedFun89

8.

Intensely loyal, honest, does not do shady things, high morals

— RaptorFalcon

9.

She is kind hearted, passionate, genuine and wants to grow as a person.

— spartan_317

10.

My grandmother summed it up nicely when talking to my cousin who was complaining about how men dont stick around.

“What virtues will you have when the pretty looks fade?”

A good woman is one that I feel I can trust. The same goes for men. It isn’t gender specific.

— holyerthanthou

11.

One that is always looking for ways to help me or build me up instead of using me for her own ends.

It’s pretty awesome when you’ve had a long day at the office, and your girl acknowledges it by having dinner ready, picking up tickets for the show because you don’t have time, starting a load of laundry, getting batteries for the remote, just simple stuff.

That may sound sexist or whatever, but it’s amazing, and doesn’t mean you can’t fix/buy/do things for her just because you want to.

— Cygnus_X

12.

Honesty.

It takes a lot to be always honest in the good way and the bad way, I like when a girl tells me everything on my face and on time because they tend to build up all that frustration and then in a fight they let it out and say things that can hurt.

— Radinax

13.

Somebody who is extremely loyal and genuinely cares about me and shows it. Somebody who supports me just as much as I support her and is there for me when I’m not feeling my best. Somebody who’s by my side when I’m killing it and successful, but also by my side when I’m not doing well and feeling like shit.

— SpacebornKiller TC mark

If He’s Been Micro-Mistreating You In These 10 Ways, Dump His Ass

Posted: 13 Nov 2016 05:00 PM PST

Brooke Cagle
Brooke Cagle

Keeping it in his pants and refusing to hit you doesn’t necessarily make him a good boyfriend. Little things can add up to a lot of trouble, so don’t let them slide.

1. He teases you in front of his friends. Not in a flirty way. When he makes fun of your job or your looks, you can tell there’s a layer of seriousness hidden beneath the humor. He’s demeaning you in front of other people, and he thinks it’s funny.

2. He doesn’t want to hear about your passions. When you talk about your artwork or even your favorite anime, he looks at you weird. He might even roll his eyes or make a comment about how he doesn’t understand your hobbies–but he shouldn’t be doing any of that. When you’re excited about something, he should be excited to hear what you have to say.

3. He makes you feel self-conscious. He doesn’t come out and say that you’re ugly or overweight, but he makes you feel that way. He’s always saying how he loves blondes when you’re a brunette or mentioning how you should eat healthier.

4. He hides his phone from you. He has a lock screen on his phone, and you can’t blame him. But whenever he texts in front of you and you ask him who he’s talking to, he won’t tell you. He just makes a joke and dodges the question.

5. He turns down your invitations out. Whenever you invite him to dinner with your friends, he claims he hates the restaurant you’re going to or that your friends would be happier without him there. He’s missing the point. You want to spend time with him. But clearly, he doesn’t want to spend time with you.

6. He lets others criticize you. If his mother makes a mean comment about you, he won’t say anything. He won’t defend you or correct her. If you argue with her, he’ll even take her side.

7. He has no concern for your things. He’ll eat the leftovers you were saving for yourself. He’ll borrow your favorite book and smudge the pages. He’ll rip your favorite leggings when he wants to fuck you. He has no respect for your belongings.

8. He never owns up to his actions. Instead of admitting that yes, he was looking at another girl, he argues with you about it. Calls you crazy. Paranoid. Psychotic. He never takes responsibility for his actions.

9. He strongly suggests how you should dress. He hates pink, so he tells you not to wear it in front of him. And he doesn’t want other men looking at you, so he warns you against wearing makeup. He tries to control your entire wardrobe.

10. He tricks you into feeling guilty. You ran into a male friend and hugged him hello. Nothing inappropriate happened, but your boyfriend makes you feel like you cheated on him. You end up apologizing, even though you’re not sure exactly what you’re apologizing for–and it’s not the first time. TC mark

If You Find Someone To Learn And Grow With — Never Walk Away

Posted: 13 Nov 2016 04:30 PM PST

Isabelle Portes
Isabelle Portes

Katheryn and Mathew, both in their 50's, have been together for two years. Both have been previously married and divorced. When they met, they fell madly in love, which lasted for a few months. Then the conflicts started.

Both Katheryn and Mathew left their marriages because they were with partners who were completely unwilling to open to learning in conflict. They both wanted to find a partner who would learn and grow with them. They found each other at a personal growth seminar.

However, each time a conflict occurs, which is often at this point in their relationship, they both threaten to leave. Katheryn is consistently yelling, "I've had it! I'm leaving!" while Mathew yells, "Why don't you just leave!" They each have a foot out the door.

Katheryn and Mathew are stuck in a typical control-resist relationship system. Katheryn wants to leave because she is so frustrated by Mathew's constant withdrawal and resistance, while Mathew wants to leave because he can't stand Katheryn's constant attempts to control him and make him responsible for her feelings.

Leaving is a waste of time for Katheryn and Mathew. Actually, these two people have exactly what they asked for – someone to learn and grow with. Both Katheryn and Mathew are willing to learn and explore at some point after the conflict. Each is slowly becoming more aware of their end of their dysfunctional relationship system. If they leave, they have no one to come up against, no one who triggers their issues, so their issues will not be addressed until they are in another relationship. Then the same issues will surface.

The people I work with often believe that it would be easier to start over with someone else, or easier to be alone. I assure them that, in my experience, all learning and growing relationships are very challenging – that all couples who desire to create a really wonderful and loving relationship have to go through the trenches of healing their woundedness within the relationship. It may be easier to be alone, but it's lonely and the major relationship issues never get healed.

If you are a person who deeply desires to continue your emotional and spiritual growth, and you are with a partner who also desires this, than DON'T LEAVE. No matter how bad the fights get or the distance gets – unless there is continued physical violence or intense emotional/verbal abuse – keep at it. It's too easy to leave, too easy to blame the other person, too easy to miss the incredible opportunity that relationships provide for healing and growth.

It's especially important to hang in there when children are involved. I'm not saying to stay just for the children. If you are with a physically violent or emotionally abusive partner, or a partner who has no desire to take any personal responsibility, or a substance abuser who has no desire to heal from his or her addiction, then you likely need to leave. But if you have a partner who is on a growth path, who is willing to explore with you, who is willing to have counseling with you, who is willing to learn to take responsibility for him or herself, then leaving is not the answer. No matter how difficult things get at times, you have a responsibility to yourself, your partner, and your family to do the learning you came to this planet to do.

If you are fortunate enough to be with a partner who is, at least some of the time, open to learning with you, you are fortunate indeed. The relationship will take you to the depths of your dark side and to the heights of your ability to love. It will take you where you need to go, so don't give up just because it's so hard. The challenge is to keep going within, connecting with your feelings and your inner wisdom, and learning what it means to move beyond compliance, anger, resistance, taking things personally, punishing the other, threats and bullying, blame and being a victim.

Even if you think that you are open and your partner isn't, it would be in your highest good to stay in the relationship until you are able to remain loving to yourself and your partner no matter what your partner is doing. As long as you are triggered by your partner's behavior, your healing is not complete and there is no point in leaving. If you reach a point where you are no longer triggered by your partner's behavior, you might discover that your partner has also changed, even though you believed he or she was not open to learning and growing. If your partner remains closed and there is really nothing more for you to learn, then it might be time for you to leave.

I hope you get both feet in there and do your Inner Bonding work before thinking about leaving. Don't waste this opportunity to evolve your soul in love. TC mark

47 People In Long-Term Relationships Reveal The Secrets For Making It Work

Posted: 13 Nov 2016 04:00 PM PST

lookcatalog
lookcatalog
Found on AskReddit .

1. If things are tense, hug each other for 20 seconds.

"• When you are starting to bicker with each other, check if you have both eaten recently and are relatively well-rested.
• If you are actually fighting, make sure you have understood what the other person has said BEFORE you respond. It will save you so much headache from misunderstandings. It’s as simple as, ‘So I think you’re saying _______; do I have that right?’
• Respect each other’s privacy and take time for yourself. Regularly spend time with friends independent of your SO.
• Lastly, this one sounds silly but it works. Me and my SO can say to each other ’20 second hug?’ at any time and often it dissolves the tension and reconnects us."
desirage


2. Buy each other presents every time you see something that they would like.

"Buy each other presents every time you see something that they would like. Doesn’t have to be big. Just once in a while my wife come home with a comic book or a video game for me, and sometimes I buy her Pok√©mon cards or amiibos or some shit. Feels good. I don’t know if it’s the best tip, but it works for me. AND DON’T GET A FUCKING DOG. Fuck dogs. Unless you like shit up the goddamn walls like Dumb and Dumber. "
ThomasMarno


3. Choose wisely and treat kindly.

"{m69, married 40 yrs}
Finding them:
Choose Wisely.
Keeping them:
Treat Kindly"
NYCMusicalMarathon


4. Don't keep score. You're on the same team.

"Don’t keep score. You guys are on the same team and have to work things out together."
lcw32


5. Separate bathrooms, blankets, and bank accounts.

"Separate bathrooms, blankets, and bank accounts."
akisawana


6. Spend a day together in your pajamas just playing games, reading, or binging shows.

"Spend a day together in your pajamas just playing games, reading, or binging shows. Fiancee and I do this. We end up having a lot of fun and talking constantly throughout."
iNomaDo


7. Smoke weed and bang a lot.

"I know everyone is going to say things like communication, honesty, blah, blah. yes, those things are important.

But seriously, just smoke weed and bang a lot.

You’d be surprised how much less hostility and frustration you have toward your spouse if you get high and screw 5-6 days a week once the kids are in bed."
luminous_beings


8. If they're looking really good, let them know.

"I read this in Psychology Today or something like it: Don’t say, ‘I love you but …,’ say ‘I love you and .’ Use I statements. Avoid the royal we when talking to others unless you’re certain you have a united front. And if they’re looking really good, let them know. Explicitly."
CarrotAnkles


9. Don't stray.

"Don’t stray. The relationship will never be the same. He did, a couple years ago, and I forgave him. The trust just isn’t there anymore, though."
inkie87


10. Always be the first to say sorry.

"Always be the first to say sorry. If you’re still angry, wait until you’re calm enough then be the first to apologize. 9/10 this leads to either an apology in return or an explanation as to why hubby did the thing that made me mad. You don’t need to be right to be happy."
IxamxUnicron


11. Spend time apart.

"Time apart. I love my husband dearly, but I look forward to Saturday when he works but I don’t. We both agree that we need our space and we’re OK with that. I didn’t know this in my 1st marriage, and it caused a lot of problems."
tarnished713


12. After any argument, always tell them you love them, and MEAN IT.

"After any argument, always tell them you love them, and MEAN IT. It’ll make both of you feel better and will remind your S/O that you still love them a lot despite the argument(s)."
GymFever


13. NEVER belittle or make fun of each other.

"Never speak to your spouse with sarcasm or condescension. NEVER belittle of make fun of them, in private or in public. Never use an ‘ugly’ voice. This can be VERY hard to remember in a moment of anger when you want to use every weapon at hand. But it is worth the effort to learn. That one time you fail will be remembered, is endlessly hurtful, and really breaks trust.

Know your own personality quirks and your spouse’s. Anxieties, sensitivities, etc. Each must tolerate the other’s. And if you can, help your spouse in dealing with hers and let her help you in dealing with yours. In the long term, you’ll help each other grow and help the relationship grow.

Humor. Learn to make running jokes about everything, including the way you annoy each other.

Don’t take everything your spouse does personally. My wife can occasionally leave things in awkward places that I could trip over, even though I have asked her not to. I used to take it personally (‘She doesn’t respect my needs!’), but the one time out of 10 that she might forget is not about ME. She just forgot. I instead learned to focus on the 9 times out of 10 she remembers (and I therefore don’t notice), and take that as a sign of caring. And for sure, I am equally forgetful about three times as many things that she HAS asked me to do. Let go of perfection."
Osiris62 


14. Choose wisely and treat kindly.

"{m69, married 40 yrs}
Finding them:
Choose Wisely.
Keeping them:
Treat Kindly"
NYCMusicalMarathon


15. Realize that you may have different communication styles.

"As someone in a ten-year relationship that has been through many twists and turns, I would say that while communication is very important, it’s not as simple as just talking about stuff—regardless of how calm and articulate you can be about the issue at hand. I went into this relationship, and thought for a long time during it, that as long as we could just have a good conversation about an issue we could solve it. And if we couldn’t do it that way, then it was a sign that things were doomed.

However, I learned it can be more complicated than saying ‘communicate,’ particularly because we don’t have exactly the same communication style. I’m a peacemaker type, and he enjoys a good debate/discussion/argument (no yelling, but he likes to get into it). I value apologies over everything, he doesn’t even think they are necessary. I want to discuss everything he does that irks me, he mostly just assumes that I always mean well and moves on without talking at all.

In the beginning, I thought he could be a rigid, bullying, uncommunicative asshole and this made things really tough. Now, I realize that we don’t need to discuss so many things, I don’t always need him to explicitly say, ‘I am sorry, I apologize, I have learned from what you have said and will modify my behavior,’ and that it’s normal to go through periods where we are on different wavelengths and just waiting it out without making a big deal of it is fine."
zazzlekdazzle


16. Do your best to make your partner laugh regularly.

"Adult life can be so goddamn high stakes and serious. Coparenting, illnesses, finance, buying a house….it’s all Serious Business and drudgery sometimes. And that can make the whole ‘keep up the romance’ feel unattainable, when you both feel sucked dry by life already.

So do your best to make your partner laugh regularly. Even if it’s just a dumb face or a joke cribbed from r/dadjokes. Not only does it lighten up the mood, but hopefully it reminds you both of being young goofy idiots. And THAT makes the romance come back. Because you were probably young goofy idiots when your started dating.

Also, if you can make this a regular thing, making a fart noise or stupid face can stop a fight in its tracks, if it’s the fights that you have only because you’re both tired and crabby. Highly recommend."
bettenoire


17. Learn to step away and calm down.

"If you tend to fight a lot, learn phrases like ‘help me understand’ instead of ‘you’re wrong/why would you/how could you/you’re not making sense.’

Take the blame off the other person. Just listen to him/her..and ACTUALLY listen, not thinking about what you want to say once he/she finishes talking.

Communication will always be #1, but think of yourself as an active listener: Do you body language and facial expressions convey that you are interested? When you respond, try to think of your tone of voice and delivery of the message: What kind of emotion/reaction are you trying to get out of your partner?

If all else fails, learn to step away and calm down."
2TyeDyeFor


18. It's okay to be angry, but not to scream or insult.

"The main thing I’ve been learning (I still need to remind myself of it now and then) is that the way you feel toward your partner doesn’t have to be the way you act toward your partner.

It’s okay to be angry at your partner sometimes, but it’s not okay to scream at or insult them. It’s okay to feel sad and hurt over something they did, but it’s not okay to guilt-trip them or expect them to read your mind.

Sometimes during arguments/serious discussions, a million shitty things will come into your head before you even consider saying something kind to your partner. But a simple ‘I love you’ can really go a long way—even if you don’t FEEL love for them at the time. It’s really hard to do when I’m angry/hurt, but it’s worth it when my boyfriend reminds me he loves me too, and the atmosphere generally improves a lot."
MittensTheLizard


19. When arguing, make sure you understand the problem.

"Married 42 years, and still madly in love with my wife. The worst time in our marriage was a period of continuous argument that we couldn’t resolve. We finally saw a counselor and discovered that we were fighting about two different things in regard to the issue in dispute. Once we had that revelation, we resolved the issue. Moral of the story…make sure that you understand the problem. Pride can blind us. Sometimes you need outside help to get to the place of true communication."
greylensman312


20. Have your own separate activities.

"Have your own separate activities. Not everything should revolve around each other. You’ll start to get sick of each other if you spend all your time together. It’s healthy to have friends other than your s/o."
DreamTimeDeathCat


21. Kick up the lust occasionally.

"Kick up the lust occasionally….Love, friendship, and caring are all important, but too few people talk about maintaining a visceral lust for their partner. After more than 30 years of marriage it occasionally requires a conscious jumpstart, but so far we’ve found it an integral part of the relationship."
galaxyWanderer


22. You have to let small things go.

"You have to let small things go. You should always work on becoming a better partner for your SO but when I forget and leave something on the bedroom floor my wife forgives me automatically because she knows I didn’t do it to annoy her. She tells me she likes a clean house later and that when I get messy she feels unloved and rather than feeling like she is nagging me, I understand that she just wants me to be a better husband and person so I let it go and focus my energy on being more clean, etc."
philter451


23. Say 'please' and 'thank you.'

"Manners. ‘Please’ and ‘thank you’ make a person feel appreciated; after 22 years I still smile when my husband says thank you for something as simple as making him a coffee."
chosenamewhendrunk


24. Have each other's backs.

"Have each other’s backs, don’t give family or friends too much info on the bad stuff. I know sometimes we all need a good rant but some people will hold that against your partner."
Imachemistree


25. Try to make a damn effort.

"Actually try to make a damn effort. If you don’t have the energy to set aside time and talk to him/her, or make them a meal, or get them a nice gift, then maybe you’re not made for each other. Just because it takes a little work doesn’t mean the relationship isn’t real, but you should feel a little inspired to go out of your way for the love of your life."
cwall1


26. Share your joys and fears.

"We’ve been together 30 years, married 27. We’ve had our ups and downs, but we still love each other like crazy and have a healthy physical relationship. Here are a few things that we’ve learned that have kept us together:
•Be kind, but don’t be a doormat
•Cheer on your partner in business, sports, hobbies, etc.—anything that is important to them
•Let your spouse know that you are proud of them and that they have a refuge in you. (My husband has said that he was able to do things he never thought he could, because he knew that even if things went badly and/or he failed, I would always love him and be there for him. I feel the same.)
•Tell the truth, always (but if it’s especially harsh, soften it where you can)
•Check in with each other daily if you can.
•Do the little things for your spouse, even if they can do it for themselves—it shows that you are thinking of them.
•Have your own activities, but also have an activity that you do together
•Don’t let misunderstandings fester into bigger problems
•Share your joys and fears."
leahpet


27. Cultivate shared hobbies and interests.

"Be your own people, accept you ARE your own people, but still cultivate shared hobbies and interests."
leffykins


28. Try to resolve your quarrels within a day or two.

"Not all fights have to end in sulking—most of them are just opportunities to get to know your partner and understand them better. We typically try to resolve our quarrels within a day or two. If both of us think that it was each other’s fault, we’d tell each other that we were hurt but apologize anyway."
Kaeriuchi


29. Know the difference between a temporary fight that can be worked out and something that just ruins it all.

"The only thing I can say is don’t give up. All those fights that can end a relationship like that? Yeah, I’ve been through them. But once you work things out you will look back on those problems you had and wonder why you ever took it so seriously. If you say you are going to commit, actually commit. But obviously know the difference between a temporary fight that can be worked out and something that just ruins it all. Trust me, even fights that seem to be about big things aren’t actually that big, but knowing the difference is a big deal, too."
lil_nuggets


30. Keep It Simple, Stupid.

"Keep It Simple, Stupid. My last long-term relationship was with a former Navy brat. On my drives home from work, I’d rehearse stories so I’d have something interesting to share when she popped the dreaded ‘How was your day?’ Eventually she caught on that my work life had an operatic narrative arc and told me point blank: ‘You don’t have to make shit up. I’m just with you for the smiles.’"
laterdude


31. Plenty of sex, and laugh at everything.

"Just passed our fiftieth. Plenty of sex, and laugh at everything. Just everything."
alycidon97


32. Don't go to bed mad at each other.

"The advice I always give is don’t go to bed mad at your SO. Basically the same as communicate, but I feel like putting that time limit on it really forces you to talk to each other sooner. If you had a fight, even if you are still upset just try to talk to them. Also, if they do something that makes you uncomfortable, talk to them about it, they might not even know about it. And be open to changing small things about yourself. I say small because you shouldn’t have to change everything about yourself to be with someone, but relationships involve compromise to meld the two into one. So be willing to give and take. Don’t make fun of your partner’s hobbies or passions. If you do, emphasize you are joking and don’t mean it. Nobody likes to be told what they love is stupid, especially from their SO. And it doesn’t hurt to try to do things with them every now and again, even if you don’t love it. Showing them you care is the most important thing. I guess I’ll stop here, but that’s what I’ve gotten down so far."
doggo_man


33. Talk it out, always.

"Communication…talk it out, always. None of this passive-aggressive, let-it-build-up-and-one-day-explode nonsense."
santana6688


34. Take weekend trips or go to a hotel room overnight somewhere.

"Set aside time to do something new and fun to bond over. Take weekend trips or go to a hotel room overnight somewhere."
reddy_freddy


35. Rock Paper Scissors for small decisions.

"Rock Paper Scissors for small decisions. Can’t decide where to eat? Best 2 out of 3, loser has to pick, winner can’t object. Solves 90% of our disagreements. Works for other small stuff, too."
tiffibean13


36. Tell each other 'I love you' as much as you can.

"My husband and I have been having a rocky time of things. We recently found out some bad news about one of our direct family members and now we’ve been actively telling each other I love you every time we can. That’s it. Just saying those words to one another as often as you can and hugging each other as soon as you see them works. It’s the little things. I feel better and he feels better. Let them know. If you love your SO, hearing I love you all the time never gets old."
sscheiby95


37. Be 100% honest with how you actually are and what you like, no matter how stupid it is.

"Be 100% honest with how you actually are and what you like, no matter how stupid it is. If you act differently around the person and hide what you actually like and come to find out they don’t accept it then your relationship is fucked.

Agree with your SO in public, express your disagreement in private. Nothing breeds resentment more than feeling like you don’t have their back, especially in front of others.

Don’t give them a reason to doubt you at any point. IMO number one relationship killer is doubt. It festers in the back of your brain and makes you question any tiny thing the other person does, once you’ve reached that point its really difficult to create something that lasts long. One tiny moment of distrust early on can be the difference between ‘oh he’s gonna be coming home late, must have been traffic’ and ‘oh he’s coming home late, maybe he was with someone else.’

It’s totally possible to have relationships ignoring these things, but in my opinion these ones are really the keys to a strong-ass foundation."
ambushh


38. Shag her at every possible opportunity.

"Shag her at every possible opportunity. If you’re tired give her a quick one, if you’re sleepy make her go on top, if you’re kinky get her some handcuffs. Just make sure that she is getting her beans as often as you can manage.

When the shagging stops everything becomes so much harder relationship-wise. So my advice is: Don’t let it stop."
pawnografik


39. Do little things for them that make them happy.

"Do little things for them. Things that make them happy. Brush their hair after their shower, give them a back rub, give them a hug or even just give them space.

Don’t think to yourself, ‘Oh, I did this for them so they owe me’ or, ‘I did this thing last time so now it’s their turn.’

There are no ‘turns’; you are one unit, not one person but close enough to it. You’re a team. You get shit done because it needs to be done. If they aren’t pulling their weight then tell them constructively. Don’t barrel into it and make them hate you for constantly yelling.

The thing is, if they love you they’ll eventually do it. If they don’t, then perhaps they don’t appreciate you enough to help you out.

Appreciate their quirks. My partner came from a very clean household, I didn’t, so it’s always been tough to try to bring myself up to his standard. If he wants the taps to be polished then God damn it polish those damn taps so there’s no water marks. Vacuum every other day, make sure things find their way back into their right place. He will be doing these things anyway. You should do them, too. You have your own quirks; hopefully they will notice and appreciate them, too. I can’t stand the sound of the fridge humming while I’m trying to sleep. When he gets up early for work he messes with it so it stops and I can get back to sleep.

Make them a tea or a coffee now and again. Get them nice things. Take them out for lunch even if you’ve been together for years; going out together is awesome.

Don’t try and cover up when you’ve fucked up. My sister used to buy my mum flowers every time she upset her. But don’t do what she did and not actually fix the reason why the person was upset in the first place.

It’s not an exhaustive list but it’s what I think of, and it’s not full proof. I know I still have things to work on and do, hopefully I’ll never forget my own advice.

You don’t always have to like the same things either. It’s cool when you do, but don’t hate them if they don’t like something you do. It’s not the end of the world."
SuspiciousDave


40. Don't rehash old arguments.

"Even if a past argument or indiscretion or whatever still makes you mad when you think about it, if it’s been hashed out you don’t bring it up again, you don’t get to have it on reserve as a 'well you did THIS' during another argument (probably one that you’re losing ). I grew up in a house where past stuff was constantly thrown at your face for years and thought this was normal/fair. It’s not. It’s a really shitty thing to do to someone you supposedly love. If you really can’t let go of something in your relationship’s past, break up."
sowhatagiraffe


41. Never stop surprising them.

"Never stop surprising them, and yourself. After being with someone for years and thinking you know everything about them it’s really fun for both of you to surprise them with a small gift, a new activity/new way of doing things, whatever. It just lets them know that hey, they did this just because they thought I would like it. It keeps the fun going and keeps you from getting bored."
aahagerr


42. Never make them feel stupid or wrong.

"Never make them feel stupid or wrong. Your spouse does things differently from you. That’s probably why you love them so deeply. Embrace those things. Never try to change them."
FordyceFoxtrot


43. Never forget why you fell for them in the first place.

"Been with my wife for 9 years and recently we’ve been going through a rough patch in which she’s told me, 'you’re not the man I fell in love with,’ which to me means that somewhere along the line I forgot who I was and got my priorities jumbled up.

So what I recommend in maintaining a healthy long-term relationship is to not forget why you fell for them in the first place….Don’t let everyday life get the better of you. Make sure you still make time for the one you love, and keep it interesting. That doesn’t mean it has to be interesting every second of every day. Just maybe once a month, have a date night where you pawn the kids off and have a night to yourselves. Maybe even make it a weekly thing where you leave your work phone at home and go do something with the family.

In the end, if you’re with the right person, you will both make the proper moves to accomplish this together. The best way to maintain a long-term relationship is to be 50/50 with the other person. A long-term relationship won’t work if it ain’t shared equally."
TheHonourableCurls


44. See as little of each other as possible the longer you’re together.

"See as little of each other as possible the longer you’re together."
ZapPowerz


45. Don't take things out on each other.

"Sleep. Do not underestimate sleep. Especially if kids are involved. I sleep in on Saturdays, husband sleeps in on Sundays. It keeps you fresh and not as likely to kill each other. Also, not talking things out on each other. My husband and I have made some stupid and irresponsible choices. However, we don’t blame. We come together and decide the next best course of action. We keep communication open and by not falling into a blame trap we are not nervous or scared to approach one another on different matters. But really… sleep.

Source: 13 years married."
whywouldyouwhat


46. Don’t be with someone unless you legitimately prefer their company to all others.

"I’ve known my spouse for 26 years and been married 17 of those.

First, don’t be with someone unless you legitimately prefer their company to all others. This is something I wish every person would understand. Don’t settle for less because they fit your timeline, you’re lonely, or for any other reason.

Second, stay interesting to that person. If when you met you loved talking about sports, books, movies, whatever, stay engaged with those things. My spouse is liberal and very interested in politics, civil rights, etc. I listen to NPR and frequently discuss those topics with him. Being busy with kids, etc. is not an excuse to become uninteresting.

Third, and probably most important, treat your spouse with love, kindness, and respect. Don’t bash him or her publicly or behind closed doors. If you’re fighting, keep it as clean as possible. There are things that can’t be unsaid and will never be forgotten, so putting love, kindness, and respect first will save a lot of heartache."
educationofbetty


47. Stay fit and attractive and ignore a bunch of stuff.

"After 30 years I would say stay fit and attractive and ignore a bunch of stuff."
Sadiebb TC mark

You Shouldn’t Have To Beg Him To Do These 16 Basic Things

Posted: 13 Nov 2016 03:00 PM PST

H Influencer Collective, Alivia Latimer
H Influencer Collective, Alivia Latimer

1. Buy you meaningful gifts. You shouldn’t have to drop hints about how your best friend’s boyfriend always buys her flowers and you’d love it if you got flowers. He should do nice things for you without you bringing up the idea.

2. Include you in his life. If there’s a Christmas party at his office, he should invite you. If his mother ends up in the hospital, he should call you to let you know. You shouldn’t be the last one to find out about his life.

3. Send thoughtful texts. You shouldn’t have to convince him to send you sweet good morning texts–and you definitely shouldn’t have to convince him to text you back. He should always have an answer for you, and a few cute emojis to go along with it.

4. Behave himself around your friends and family. He shouldn’t show up to Thanksgiving dinner drunk. He shouldn’t comment on your sister’s breakup when he knows it’s going to upset her. He should make an effort to get your friends and family to like him.

5. Initiate sex. You shouldn’t have to make the first move all the time. You deserve to feel beautiful. You deserve to be seduced.

6. Ask about your day. He should be eager to hear all about your life. If he never asks you about work, then he clearly doesn’t care about work.

7. Plan dates. Once in a while, he should come up with an exciting idea and then execute it. It doesn’t matter if it ends up being a flop, because it’s truly the thought that counts.

8. “Like” your social media posts. It sounds silly, but it’s always nice to see a notification from your boyfriend. After all, if he doesn’t like your selfies, then who else is going to?

9. Compliment you. You shouldn’t have to fish for compliments. If you get a new haircut, he should notice. If you wear a new dress, he should tell you how beautiful you look in it.

10. Wear the clothes you bought him. Even if he hates the shirt you gave him, it wouldn’t hurt for him to wear it around the house or to the gym. After all, you picked it out especially for him. He should realize that.

11. Cuddle with you. He shouldn’t have sex with you and then roll onto his side of the bed. If you want some cuddle time, he should give it to you. After all, snuggling up to someone can feel just as intimate as sex does.

12. Clean up after himself. He doesn’t have to scrub the kitchen floor clean, but he should at least wash the dishes that he dirtied up and pick up the underwear he threw on the floor.

13. Listen to your music. When you’re in the car together, you shouldn’t be stuck listening to songs you hate. You should take turns choosing the music or meet in the middle. It shouldn’t be his way or the highway.

14. Treat you with respect. Even if you have wildly different opinions on politics or religion, he should respect your views. You can’t be with someone that thinks they’re superior to you.

15. Cut his ex out of his life. He should be smart enough to know when he’s crossing a line. If his ex-girlfriend is acting flirtatious in her texts, then he should delete her number without thinking twice about it.

16. Tell you how he feels. If he loves you, then he should tell you. If he’s pissed off at you, he should tell you that, too. Knowing where he stands is the only way that you’ll be able to keep your relationship healthy. TC mark

Always The Rule, Never The Exception

Posted: 13 Nov 2016 02:00 PM PST

 Jez Timms
Jez Timms

Humans are interesting creatures that no one knows exactly how to tame or explain. Society is evolving and the gap in understanding people is expanding. There's an elite group in particular that don't seem to understand how monogamy or dating works.

From 18 year olds to 30 years olds and everything in between, a lot of men and women are looking to have fun and have no strings attached. They argue that they are not looking for anything serious as an excuse to sleep with as many people as possible.

They compel the innocent into being with them by using the 'giving and taking' technique, which means they'll be sweet and loving until they get what they want before disappearing for a week or and then coming back. This behavior deeply affects the individual in a psychological way and it makes them ask themselves, "Why am I not good enough to have a clear label?"

The truth is, there's nothing wrong with the individual. They are simply the rule and not the exception.

Of course not all people are the same but it can't be ignored that this trend is growing and that's due to three main facts: a lack of intimacy, fear of commitments and past experience that have traumatized the individual.

People who experience this sort of behavior tend to blame on something that has happened to them in the past. It's understandable, we're all messed up in one way or another but we're bound to end up alone if we let the demons of our past dictate our decisions. It's an irrational thought process that is very difficult to break.

"Trauma happens in relationships, so it can only be healed in relationships. Art can't provide healing. It can be cathartic and therapeutic but a relationship is a three-part journey" – Alanis Morissette.

A second reason why people nowadays have this problem is because of the lack of intimacy in their lives and upbringing. Psychological theories and studies agree that people who experience a lack of intimacy and affection during their upbringing, will have problems in the future. Where I live, it’s very common to find people who only speak to their parents once a month. Of course, it can also affect those who live at home. They don't speak to their parents for months on end even though they live under the same roof. It's definitely a generation and cultural thing, which parents seem to be OK with.

"Life doesn't make any sense without interdependence. We need each other and sooner we learn that, the better for us all" – Erik Eriksson

Some people freak out when the person they are seeing starts talking about commitment because they think it means marriage. This is not the case!

Ladies and gentleman, when a person talks about commitment, they mean a monogamous agreement that this is not just a fling. It's a basic attribute of human interaction.

We want to feel as if our time is being well spent and that we can trust you enough to tell you our deepest thoughts while knowing that you're not texting a million other people.

It can be assumed that things are going to get worse before they get better, because more broken souls will begin to behave like this as a survival technique. Meanwhile, those who want to have the sort of relationships and romance that have been highlighted in books and movies, will keep asking themselves, "Why am I not good enough"?

Some of us will always be rule until someone, someone who is our idea of love, enters our lives and says we're their exception.

"But sometimes we're so focused on finding our happy ending we don't learn how to read the signs. How to tell from the ones who want us and the ones who don't, the ones who will stay and the ones who will leave. And maybe a happy ending doesn't include a guy, maybe…it's you, on your own, picking up the pieces and starting over, freeing yourself up for something better in the future. Maybe the happy ending is just moving on. Or maybe the happy ending is this, knowing after all the unreturned phone calls, broken hearts, through the blunders and misread signals, through all the pain and embarrassment… you never gave up hope" – He's Just Not That Into You.  TC mark

Here’s What You Need To Do In Order To Ease Your Anxiety, Based On Your Zodiac Sign

Posted: 13 Nov 2016 01:00 PM PST

Jenny Woods
Jenny Woods

Aries:

Ask for a hug and allow yourself to feel completely safe and supported in the arms of someone you love. You are allowed to feel vulnerable and you are allowed to ask for help.

Taurus:

Call a close friend and have an in-depth conversation freeing the weight in your chest, while eating your favorite comfort food. Indulge in the good stuff that makes you happy.

Gemini:

Write down the thoughts inside your head and if you feel even braver share those thoughts with someone close to you to help escape what's running rapid in your mind. Expressing your concerns will help free your mind.

Cancer:

Drink a hot cup of tea on the couch snuggled in blankets and surrounded by candlelight. Light a good aroma therapy candle and try to relax to your favorite movie.

Leo:

Find a soothing song that helps you feel more understood and less alone, the listen to it on repeat until you can feel a little better.

Virgo:

Try reading to distract your mind from making your situation worse than it is. Get lost in another world with your favorite characters to forget your own.

Libra:

Spend time out in public with friends to help you from wallowing in negative emotions. Even if you don’t want to go, you should be around people you love.

Scorpio:

Spend time in peaceful spots in nature to relax and inhale in fresh air. Nothing will help you feel better than the simple things to take you away from the hustle of everyday life.

Sagittarius:

You shouldn’t be alone even if you feel like you need to be. Spend your nights by yourself if you need to decompress, but go out to lunch and express your feelings. It doesn’t make you weak and it really will help you feel better.

Capricorn:

Take a warm bubble bath with calming music and a glass of wine on the side. Try to relax and pamper yourself.

Aquarius:

Go for a walk by a body of water and focus on the good in your life. When the anxiety conquers your mind remember it’s not all bad, even if it feels like it. Remembering the good will help soothe you slightly.

Pisces:

Call up your close friend and discuss what is running through your mind so you don't retreat to your own world filled with negative thoughts. TC mark

If Your Partner Doesn’t Do These 10 Things, He’s Not Good Enough For You

Posted: 13 Nov 2016 12:00 PM PST

itsmemolly
itsmemolly

1. Validates your feelings.

Instead of him telling you the reasons why you should or shouldn’t be feeling a certain way, he needs to be able to acknowledge you true emotions, to accept them, and to show empathy.

2. Actually listens to you.

He shouldn’t just nod his head or shrug his shoulders when you are telling him about yourself or about something that’s important to you. The right man for you will be able to look you in the eyes and show his consideration for you while you speak.

3. Ask questions.

If your guy isn’t asking you questions about your life and about who you are, something isn’t right. The right guy who is truly worth it, will want to get to know you on a deeper level and will be curious as hell about every aspect of your life.

4. Gets along with your family.

If he doesn’t even at least try to get along with your family and win them over, he’s not worth it. Period.

5. Gives you your space.

If your guy tends to get super clingy and won’t ever give you your peace and quiet, he’s not good enough for you. You need a man to have his own life outside of your relationship, and you need a man who wants you to have your own space, just like him.

6. Pleases you in bed.

If your guy doesn’t want to please you in the bedroom and has no intention of making you happy, what the hell are you doing with someone like that?

7. Respects your body.

If you want to wait to have sex, or if you feel tired from a night out, he should respect your decision 100%. He needs to be able to have the patience and love for you, to only be intimate with you, when you want to.

8. Makes you laugh.

You deserve someone who can make you laugh until you can’t breathe. you deserve someone who’s sense of humor blends perfectly with yours. If he can’t make you laugh, I doubt he is going to be your forever person.

9. Calls you in a crisis.

When someone calls you for help or when they are in need, it shows that you are the first person they thought of when they were in trouble. Find someone who finds comfort in just your voice when they need it most.

10. Sends you ‘checking’ in texts.

There is something so special about someone taking time out of their day to call you up or text you, letting you know they are thinking of. You deserve a guy who does little things like this, to make you feel loved and to make you feel like you are the most important girl in his life. TC mark