Thought Catalog

What Your BF Desperately Wishes You’d Do More Of In Bed, Based On His Zodiac Sign

Posted: 16 Nov 2016 08:00 PM PST

Sokoloff Lingerie
Sokoloff Lingerie

Aries: March 21st – April 19th

He wishes you’d give him more spontaneous blowjobs. He’s thankful for all of the oral you give him during your period week and late at night when you’re not really in the mood for sex, but he’d love to be taken by surprise. For you to walk through the door, shove him onto the couch, and unzip his jeans without warning.

Taurus: April 20th – May 20th

He wishes you’d dirty talk more. As much as he loves looking at your naked body, he’d get even harder if he heard you talk about how badly you want his body on top of you. So don’t be afraid to tell him what you want. He won’t find it bossy. He’ll find it sexy.

Gemini: May 21st – June 20th

He wishes you’d buy more sex toys. He gets bored easily, and sex toys would be an easy way to spice things up. Dildos, nipple clamps, hot wax… He wants to try it all.

Cancer: June 21st – July 22nd

He wishes you’d have sex in the shower more often. He wants to experience something more exciting than banging in the bedroom, but less intense than doing it in public. That’s why the shower is the perfect place.

Leo: July 23rd – August 22nd

He wishes you’d be more open to letting him dominate you. He wants to pin your hands above your head, pull your hair, dig his nails into your waist, and shackle your ankles to the bed. But he’d be happy if you at least agreed to use fuzzy pink handcuffs.

Virgo: August 23rd – September 22nd

He wishes that you’d touch yourself more. That you’d grab your breasts and play with yourself while he’s inside of you. He’d even like it if you’d just let him watch while you masturbated.

Libra: September 23rd – October 22nd

He wishes you’d wear more lingerie. You have a hot body and (he thinks) you should show it off more. After all, he’d rather look at you in a tight little outfit than jerk off to some porn star in a magazine. He thinks you’re beautiful and wishes you’d see yourself the same way.

Scorpio: October 23rd – November 21st

He wishes you’d agree to anal more often (or at least let him stick a finger up there). But, the thing is, he doesn’t want you to do it if you’re uncomfortable with it. He wants you to want to do it. Hell, he wants you to beg for it.

Sagittarius: November 22nd – December 21st

He wishes you’d get a little creative. That you’d find some kind of strange sex tip online and test it out on him. He can’t really tell you what he wants, only because he doesn’t know what he wants. He wants to be thrown off guard, to be completely and utterly surprised.

Capricorn: December 22nd – January 19th

He wishes you’d pay more attention to him during foreplay. After all, it shouldn’t be purely for your benefit. It should be for both of you. Once in a while, he’d like it if he got a massage or if you reached over and rubbed his dick through his jeans to get him excited for the night ahead. He just wants a little extra attention.

Aquarius: January 20th – February 18th

He wishes you’d get on top more often. He doesn’t want to be the one stuck up there 24/7. He wants to get the chance to sit back and relax while you take care of the rest.

Pisces: February 19th – March 20th

He wishes you’d roleplay with him. You two are comfortable together, so even if you don’t get off, you’ll be able to laugh about how ridiculous you look. No matter what, it would make for an interesting night. TC mark

11 People Who Lost Their Virginity To A Prostitute Reveal What Exactly Happened

Posted: 16 Nov 2016 07:00 PM PST

Thought Catalog Tumblr
Thought Catalog Tumblr


It went really well.

Had horrible social anxiety, barely ever dated at all, never got anywhere.

Turned 30, decided to just get it over with, researched for a couple months, found an exceptionally hot and talented high-end ($800) escort.

Flew to her city, got a nice hotel suite, had her over, went three amazing rounds (didn’t know I had that in me).

Anxiety gone, had a girlfriend within a month, married a few years later.

Best money I ever spent, seriously.

— glorfignel


I much later realized that prostitutes are a very expensive addiction that isn’t very easy to ween yourself off of.

— rhb4n8


I spent a weekend in Vegas alone. Walking down the strip drunk the last night I saw this smokin hot woman and said, “hey what’s up.” I was surprised when she actually stopped but she was dressed very slutty. She asked where I was going and we negotiated price.

I was pretty worried she was a cop but was drunk enough to think fuck it whatever. We got to my room and talked for awhile. (I talk people’s ears off when I get drunk.) Then we got to it. It was awesome. Even did it on the balcony over looking the strip.

— craziedave


So there we were, on deployment in Thailand. I was 22, and we had a weekend of liberty to go out on the town. We decided to make the 4 hour pilgrimage to Bangkok (We’re on the train to Bangkok!!) So it was well known in my group that I was a virgin, and was truly not looking for anything but some sightseeing and exploring.

Anyhow, that night we ended up at a bar called the Pink Panther. (Go-go dancers and live muy Thai fights. Who could pass that up?). So I was about 6 long islands in, and we each had a dancer on our lap. Everyone was talking and laughing, it was really a good time. Then a couple of my friends got up and said they would be right back. Not unusual for these guys to go off on some goofy adventure so I didn’t think much of it. What they had actually done was go out, find a street drug dispenser, and try to haggle for cheap knockoff Thai street viagara. That is a whole story in itself, but needless to say they were successful. By the time they returned, I was a couple more long islands down. They got back, crushed up the viagara, and mixed it into my drink. Yeah, it tasted like bitter chalk, and yeah I knew something was weird. I said something about my drink being nasty, and my friend told me that he had squeezed a lime into it.

My drunk brain thought that was a perfectly valid answer, so I carried on. It wasn’t much long after this that my dancer got up and walked away. I didn’t think much of it, just figured my time was up. Then Mama-san came over and asked for, like, 30 bucks or something. I figured I was paying for the girl sitting on my lap for the past couple hours, so I happily obliged. Seemed more than reasonable. Anyhow, shortly after that, the girl showed back up in her streets with card that had my hotels address on it and room number (the viagara friends are a couple of sneaky bastards). They already had a cab waiting and gave her the card because they knew I wouldn’t remember the name of the hotel.

So we go back, and I’m still completely confident that i can resist the temptation (she was absolutely gorgeous). We get back to the room and she tells me to take a shower. I guess this was customary, and I needed one anyway so no biggie. I take my shower, get out and lay on the bed and wonder how im going to get out if this as she takes her shower. Anyhow, she comes out wearing nothing but the complimentary hotel bathrobe (all closed up though). She stands at the foot of the bed and asks to see my phone. I’m like, sure why not? It’s merely a camera and music device this point since I don’t have cell service or anything. Well, I’ll be damned if she didn’t put on “Shook Me All Night Long” by AC-DC, and proceed to strip the robe. Checkmate. You win.

Oh, and viagara is miserable. The whole next day, every little thing caught the little guys attention. Not to mention your lower abdominal muscles are sore as hell. I thought I caught a damn std (yes I wore protection. Another check in the box for the thoroughness of my asshole friends) anyhow, no regrets. Didn’t lose it in the back of my car in high school like everyone else. It’s a story and a memory and apparently I’m still a legend of some sorts in my old unit.


18-year old me, just let loose in Amsterdam, walked through the red light-district and thought “Why not?” Well, because it’s not cheap and I get (almost) the same results from my right hand.

— darkbee83


Was 25. Wasn’t really bothered about being a virgin but figured if i lost it this late i might as well lose it in an interesting way. So my first time was a threesome with 2 thai prostitutes, of which one anal. The sex itself was what you’d expect for a first time, awkward but good. Was kinda awkward when after the first time i came one of the girls asked me “you papa me mama”, since she had a baby, to which i politely replied “me no papa.

The most awkward part was really picking out the girls. I mean, i went into the brothel and some fat big half thai/half american dude comes walking up to me with a thick American accent “Welcome to our establishment how can we be of help today!?”. He’d line up the girls, like 12 of them, and there was a yellow line in the middle. And he went “now remember, right of the line anal, left of the line no anal!”. So well yeah, i just stood there for a bit not wanting to pick any girl because i didn’t want to disappoint any of the girls by not picking them (which sounds kinda weird, i know that).

— Snitsie


I attempted to lose my virginity to a prostitute in a country where it’s legal. The experience was very nice, however I was not successful in PIV sex (which some consider “the virginity”). The lack of success was due to my very sensitive penis head and extreme pain when trying to insert.

The lady I saw was very nice and attractive, I visited her at her home. She ask me to undress. She made some small talk asked where I was from and complimented me on my body which felt genuine and really that’s all that matters. She rubbed me down and we kissed and four play stuff. I tried to insert but the pain caused me to lose my stiffy. So she ended up giving me a blowjob (with condom) and then a hand job to finish off.

Now after, she cleaned my penis up with a wippy and she was very caring. She mentioned that it looked like I didn’t wash properly and gave me tips on how to keep my tip clean. Which was helpful because as a younger man (who was not getting any action) I was not very good at cleaning especially because it was painful for me at the time.

Because I paid for an hour and had only spent maybe 15/20 min with her she gave me a massage. After a few min of this I got another hard on and I asked if we could go again which she obliged for another $20 with another blowjob/hand job. I probably stayed a little more than the original hour I paid for.

We showered then dressed, she hugged me as I left.

— im_normal


Age 28, after chatting to a psychologist for about 2 years they helped me realise it was something I should seriously consider. “Getting with women” was a big mental obstacle for me, I’d never kissed a woman at that point, only held hands with one at age 26.

To paint a quick picture; I’d had a woman on my couch, alone in my house with me, stroking my hand and leaning on me, after I’d cooked dinner for us, and I was too terrified to do anything.

So age 28, after weighing the pros and cons, I decided to go for it. Where I live it’s not uncommon for guys to go to a local whorehouse (we call them brothels, much nicer name…)

I went along during the middle of the day, nervous as hell. But confident in a way, that this would be fun and interesting, at least.

The hostess puts me in a room and 4 ladies come in 1 at a time. I liked 1, she was about mid-20’s, had brown, short hair. wearing nylons, which I found attractive. Also she had tattoos.

The hostess comes back and asks if I’ve decided, I mention the lady I want (above). She comes back in and takes my hand to the room. Basically from there she points me towards a shower in the next room, I shower, and there is this thing where they inspect your junk for diseases under a lamp. Kinda kills a bit of the mood but it’s necessary and makes you feel better about their health.

Anyway I tell her it’s my first time, like, ever. And she says “good for you” etc and is very reassuring.

We start with a massage, I’m on my stomach and 5-10 mins later she puts a condom on me and gives me a blowjob, honestly though I just felt kinda bad for her, like “why would anyone want to put my dick in their mouth?”

From there we did whatever the opposite of Missionary is, I was on bottom and she was over me on her knees. I lasted about 10 minutes which I was happy about.

For the rest of the 20 minutes or so (I’d booked 45 mins, $150USD) we held hands and chatted. Honestly my favourite part was the holding hands and chatting. Sex felt good but the closeness of holding hands lying next to eachother was nicer.

Since then (4 years later) I’ve dated a couple women and although I haven’t had sex with a free-range woman yet, I’ve had oral sex (giving/receiving) with 1 and just started a new fling with a nice lady and it’s looking great.

— sexfiendxxx


I was 21 years old visit Las Vegas for the first time (friends 21st birthday). Had an awesome experience met her at a casino bar after winning around 300 USD playing roulette. She walked right up to me and I bought her a drink. Ended up finding out what her line of work was and decided fuck it let’s do this. She even had a small blunt that we smoked on the way. (Which was awesome)

She ended up being the same age (only a couple months apart) very cute light skinned African American girl with pierced nipples. I also found out that you’re not supposed to kiss them (lol I know why would I do that?)

Ended up lasting the 30 minutes that I paid for and I’m pretty sure the room next to us could hear the bed against the wall lol.

Overall I would say definitely the best night of my life and probably runner up to the best vacation I’ve ever had. 10/10 would recommend to anyone feeling a lot of pressure to lose your virginity.

— BigmeechDMV


So I was just 18 and wanted to fuck. Got to a prostitution street in my city, choose one with big boobs and blonde hair. She looked gorgeous.

We went inside and I told her it was my first time, and she said just to relax. She thought it was my first time with prostitutes. But when I tried to put the condom on she was like, wait, is this your first time having sex? And I said yeah.

She then asked me if I was sure I wanted to do that, if I won’t have any regrets. She was pretty nice to me so I told her I just want to fuck and experience it, and so we continued.

She laid down and said to put it in, which I did. Her vagina was so smooth it felt like heaven. Because I wanted to last, I masturbated in the morning so I didn’t cum right away. Maybe it took 10 minutes or so?

Anyway, first was missionary, then she said she’ll make me cum and put me down and started cowgirling. Oh man did her thrust felt good. I came pretty quickly.

Somehow I was still hard, and we talked a bit about stuff cuz I paid for an hour. After about 15 mn or so I just wanted to fuck again and she told me she’d blow me. It was heaven. I don’t know how she did it but it felt incredibly good.

I was about to cum when she stopped and said that since it’s my first time, I should experience it all and asked me to fuck her in the ass.

I think I came after 2 minutes or so. Best experience ever!

After that I went back a couple times and always fucked the same girl.

Maybe it was because we fucked many times that I got confident or so, and finally got a girlfriend and that was the last time I fucked that prostitute cuz after that I moved to another city.

No regrets, except I want to go back and fuck her sometimes. Her vagina smelled good too.

— ShoweringPpl


While working a summer job at age 16, my boss decided to treat me to a massage for a job well done.

We parked behind the building in a secluded, fenced-in area and I’ll never forget the comical smile and thumbs-up a middle-aged man gave me as he was leaving. At first my presence was met with much resistance by the woman working the front of the house but eventually she relented, grabbed my hand, and led me to a room in the back where I was given a table shower. After the shower she walked me to another room, which reminded me of a doctor’s office, gave me a massage, and my first sexual experience.

The masseuse was very attractive, looked to be in her mid-thirties, which complimented my MILF fetish, and spoke English well. She insisted I rub her shoulders after since I asked her to be on top. We talked for a short time and I remember being asked my age and telling me I was a nice boy and I needed to get a girlfriend instead of paying for it.

In retrospect I have very mixed feelings about this. Since then I’ve developed more of a conscience and part of me is worried that I supported human-trafficking in some way. Then again, I don’t view the experience negatively. I’m not interested in going back but I don’t regret it.

—  Savage__Henry

The 30 Most Hilarious ‘Dark Kermit’ Memes On The Entire Internet

Posted: 16 Nov 2016 06:30 PM PST































If He Does These 11 Dumbass Things, He Doesn’t Deserve To Fuck You

Posted: 16 Nov 2016 06:00 PM PST

Troy Freyee
Troy Freyee

1. Refuses to talk about the situation. If he’s going to sleep with you, he should at least tell you why he’s sleeping with you. Does he want a relationship? A one-night stand? A fuck buddy? You deserve an answer.

2. Causes pain. Sex isn’t supposed to be painful. If there’s zero foreplay and you’re dry enough that it hurts, then don’t sleep with him. Either have a conversation about what you need to get sufficiently turned on — or, if he isn’t willing to help you get comfortable — then you should find someone new to fuck.

3. Gives you major anxietyIf you freak out before he comes over, because you feel the need to shave every inch of your skin, apply ten layers of makeup, and slip into too-tight underwear, then he’s probably not the right one for you. He should make you feel pretty, even when you’re not dressed to the nines.

4. Ignores your requests. If you tell him that the position you’re in hurts or that you want him to stop pushing your head down during oral, then he should listen. If he keeps doing whatever the hell he wants with no regard for your saftey, he’s an ass.

5. Gives you ultimatums. If he warns you that he’ll leak your nudes or break up with you if you don’t bang him, then don’t bang him. He shouldn’t get a prize for treating you like shit.

6. Lies about sleeping with other girls. There’s nothing wrong with being FWB or having one-night stands, but if he’s been sleeping with tons of other girls, he needs to let you know. If he’s been fucking around without getting checked in between, you could end up with a STD, and that’s not fair to you.

7. Lies to get you into bed. If he lies about his job or lies about being single, never sleep with him again. There’s no reason to reward a liar.

8. Injures you. It’s one thing if you’re into BDSM and give him approval to pull your hair, spank your ass, and choke you. But if he leaves painful bruises on you without your permission, it’s best to stay away.

9. Only focuses on himself. Sex involves two people — not one. If he’s in your bed, then he should be taking care of your needs. His orgasm isn’t the only thing he should be concerned about.

10. Mentions other women. If he tells you that your tits are smaller than his ex’s or cries about the fact that she left him, then there’s no reason to sleep with him. Let him get over her before he gets back underneath you.

11. Pressures you. You don’t owe him anal or oral. If you’re uncomfortable with a certain sex act, then there’s no reason for you to perform it. Don’t let him talk you into doing something you’re uncomfortable with, because it won’t be worth it. TC mark

Ladies, There’s A Difference Between Guys Wanting You And Respecting You

Posted: 16 Nov 2016 05:00 PM PST


There's a big difference between being wanted and being respected. Sometimes I think we get way to caught up in the moment of being wanted and desired that we forget to respect ourselves. We allow ourselves to be mistreated in the heat of the moment because it's just so nice to have some attention from time to time.

Attention is nice, it feels good, and it makes us feel special. It's instant gratification. We like it when a guy comes up and flirts with us, we like being hit on at bars in a non-creepy way because it makes us feel good about ourselves. It's why we like swiping on Tinder so much because being wanted and sought after feels good.

It's a confidence booster when you're feeling low and it makes us feel good about ourselves.

But that's the difference between being wanted and being respected.

Being respected is more difficult; it takes longer to respect a person. It takes time to learn their values and to understand why someone believes the things they do. It takes in depth conversation and in order to respect someone you have to care about them on some level.

Being wanted and being respected are two completely different things, but you should always desire to be respected over being wanted.

You might like the instant gratification of being wanted, but it shouldn't mean a thing if he doesn't respect you.

Don't be with someone because they've got a smooth voice and can string together pretty words that make you feel good for a second if they're going to turn right around to their friend and trash talk you.

Everyone wants to be liked, it's basic human nature but it's easy to lose yourself in the moment. It's easy to toss your values to the side for a night or two and let your body take over. It's easy to just make out with the guy from the bar, it's easy to just make a drunk decision, but the "what the fuck" feeling you wake up with in the morning is because he didn't respect you; he just wanted you and he used you.

Don't fall into the arms of someone who doesn't respect you and cares more about sleeping with you than how he's going to make you feel when he doesn't call you back.

Don't stand for that.

Don't let him take the best of you and leave you feeling used because when he doesn't respect you it's going to leave you feeling hurt. It's going to leave you questioning what went wrong, but the truth is he never intentioned on staying, not even a little bit. It's easy to walk away when you don't respect someone unfortunately. It's easy to just forget about them when you don't know or appreciate their values.

You have to treat yourself with respect in order to gain other's respect.

A guy can like you, but his words shouldn't mean anything until he respects you because by allowing someone into your life who doesn't respect you ultimately shows that you don't respect yourself. You should never let someone walk all over you, use you or make you feel like you're just a side piece because that shows lack of respect towards yourself and he'll know he can just continue to put you in those horrible situations and leave you hanging. He knows he can do it time and time again.

Invest in yourself, show yourself some self-love and care, and you will start to see the value you hold. You will start to respect yourself more and you will start demanding that respect in return.

If someone doesn't respect you kick his butt to the curb because the attention isn't worth the self-torture you're going to put yourself through. TC mark

Don’t Apologize If You’re Not Going To Change

Posted: 16 Nov 2016 04:00 PM PST

 Brooke Cagle
Brooke Cagle

You don't apologize by saying sorry and not changing your behavior, you don't apologize by telling someone that you're sorry, that you regret everything you’ve done and continue to do the same things that will hurt them.

Apologies don't mean anything if you don't plan on changing, if you don't try to repair the damage.

Apologies are only a waste of words if you're not truly feeling each word and naturally changing your ways because you know better and you don't want to lose the person again.

Apologies only count when you'd rather be with someone than lose them, when you know what it's like to lose someone special.

But you can't expect forgiveness when you're still the same and you can't just count on sorry to fix everything.

Forgiveness comes when you try, when you're consistent, when you don't take the person you love for granted and when you appreciate their presence in your life.

Forgiveness comes with effort, with remembering little details and following up, with going out of your way to let someone know you care, with taking some time out of your busy life to be there for them and it comes when you let the person know that you won't walk away again and you're not going to repeat the same mistakes because you learned your lesson.

But if you say sorry just to buy yourself some time until you're ready or say sorry because it's the right thing to do, then don't say it — keep it to yourself.

Consider your apology accepted, consider yourself forgiven for all that you've done but it's not going to be the forgiveness that brings you back into someone’s life, it's going to be the forgiveness that kicks you out of it.

Because apologies are another way of telling the person that you value them and that they mean something to you, they're not just words, they're actions, they're ways to fix things, they're ways to show you care, they're text messages, calls and heart to heart conversations.

The best kind of apology is when you try to change your behavior from hurting someone to loving them.

The best kind of apology is when you try to replace everything you've done wrong with everything you can do to make it right.

The best kind of apology is not saying sorry, it's showing how sorry you really are. TC mark

To Immigrants, With Love

Posted: 16 Nov 2016 03:30 PM PST

Flickr / Freedom House
Flickr / Freedom House

What if I asked you the cost of a home?

Not a house, not four walls, not a palace, not even a shelter, just a place that doesn’t eat you up, that doesn’t put a knife through your spine for calling it your own.

What is the cost of such a home?

These homes are exchanged, not for money but for lives. Families are ripped to shreds because their home is the inside of a volcano that can’t help but burn them to ashes.

This is the world that we live in, now. This is the state that has befallen us. This is what we have become. This is how lines on a map have divided us. And slowly, we ourselves have become the divide that separates human from human, life from life.

I am not here to write about why people are migrating from their homelands. We know about the reasons. I am but here to remind us that standing in the face of adversity, standing at the mouth of destruction, it is us humans who have to help ourselves, our kind, our own people.

It is us who have to understand that no one flees from their home and tries to seek shelter in a foreign land unless their homes are raging forest fires, unless their homelands are lifeless graveyards that consume them from the inside.

This is not a sermon. I am not here to preach about what is right and what is not. These are one of those things that every individual needs to realise by themselves and grow from, there on. We aren’t talking about people from another country infiltrating ours and stealing our jobs, our money and our lives. Instead we are talking about human beings, born and bred in a land no different from that we call our own, human beings who have lost their right to exist where they used to through no fault of their own, human beings who share families no different from ours, human beings who share the same red beneath their skin as we do.

Imagine yourself stranded in a land where war-torn skies were the only theme and gunfire the only music. Imagine your father telling you that you might not see him again because staying together would increase the chances of death. Imagine your child being washed away while you tried to flee after being rejected entry into a country only because you didn’t have a passport.

Remember Alan Kurdi, the little boy whose corpse floated onto a beach and yelled at the entire world for being careless enough to let that happen?

It is a sorry state of affairs if the decaying body of a three-year-old is what is needed for us to wake us to our reality.

Are we still humans, now that we don’t want to allow homeless innocents into our land because we think they will pollute our skies with change and treachery?
Who are we to decide?
Who are we to declare that this land is ours and not theirs?
What are geographical borders if we are so divided from the inside?
And how in any state of mind, can we humans, profound and brilliant, allow this to happen?

The world is a not a fairy tale adventure. It has issues. Issues that we have created and we have to destroy, ourselves. We humans though, have become too self-centered. This age has us chasing all the wrong things for all the wrong reasons. At this time, we have to be brave and positive. We have to heal people through love and compassion. We are in this together and no war or religion separates us.

And in the name of our faith, in the name of humanity and in the name of all that we seek comfort in, we must help our fellow beings because by the end, they are all that we have.

And beyond that, there is nothing. TC mark

Wait For Someone To Show You What Love Is (Even If You Don’t Believe It Exists)

Posted: 16 Nov 2016 03:00 PM PST

Tim Gouw
Tim Gouw

Do not tell me that I first need to love myself before I can find someone who will love me, because that will never happen. Loving myself means knowing what love is, and I don't.

I have never had a stable home life, I have never loved or been loved and to top it all off I suffer from Bipolar. I am a train wreck, and the only thing I know how to say is, "it is going to take a very special person to deal with me," as I laugh along with my mom. But deep down, I am crying, crying with the thought that no one will choose me. I am the type of person who would do anything for you, who would be devoted to you, but all I see are scars and imperfections, and so I believe that, that is all you see as well. I don't want to be a burden, I don't want to hurt you, but I have no idea how to love.

You need to understand that for me to believe that someone could love me for me is impossible. I have never known how to love, and maybe that is part of the problem. Every relationship around me is either unhealthy or never lasts. I want to believe that love is real and that it will find me, but how do you believe in something that you have never seen?

Maybe that is why I go after men that I know are no good for me, or that will never want me the way that I want them. Because being in a relationship and being vulnerable is not something I ever want. So I chase the unattainable guys. I go after them until I know that they will never like me, and then I move on. This is my way of never being completely vulnerable.

But as much as I do not believe that love exists, I still hold out hope that someone is out there who will prove me wrong. Someone who will show me what love is, who will love my scars and show me that being perfect is overrated.

So I will wait, and maybe one day, I will love my scars as well. TC mark

What He Considers ‘Girlfriend Material,’ Based On His Zodiac Sign

Posted: 16 Nov 2016 02:00 PM PST

Franca Gimenez
Franca Gimenez


(March 21st to April 19th)

A sense of adventure. He wants a promise that you’re not going to slow him down. He knows a lot of girls dream of growing up and settling down and he wants no part of that. A partnership with him needs to be one that will continue to be exciting. Show him you prefer cities over suburbs, that you’re the kind of girl who doesn’t desire a stereotypical ‘adult’ life.


(April 20th to May 21st)

A girl who has his back without fail. Loyalty is the most important personality characteristic to a Taurus. They are very picky about who they hang out with and one of the things they demand is trustworthiness. They will only date someone they know without a doubt will always be on their side. Show him you possess this quality by refusing to gossip about the people you love, he’ll be able to see that you take your relationships seriously.


(May 22nd to June 21st)

A girl who encourages his passions. Gemini love to get excited (and sometimes carried away) by new people, ideas or hobbies. They want someone who encourages them in this regard, not someone who is a buzzkill — or worse, makes them feel like a silly child for loving something they’ll forget about in a week. Show him that you won’t mother him and shame him for having a zest for life, you want him to explore and engage as much as he wants to.


(June 22nd to July 22nd)

Affection. He wants needs someone who is open with expressing her feelings verbally and physically. He wants to feel completely loved and adored by the person in life who is closest to him. Show him every day through word and action that this is the case.


(July 23rd to August 22nd)

Adoration. It seems egotistical to say a Leo needs his girlfriend to look up to him, but this is the fundamental quality Leos look for in everyone. People receive love in different ways and none of them are fundamentally shallow. The love language Leos speak is compliments, show them you’re willing to give them what they need in order to feel loved.


(August 23rd to September 22nd)

A partner who pulls their own weight. Virgos are smart, hard-working creatures who are good at almost anything they try, even if just through sheer effort. They can be perceived as joyless because they like order, making lists and planning — this is not a good way to view someone in a love relationship, so try not to be this person. Show them that you won’t be another worry to add to their never-ending to-do list but the driving force to help them with some well-earned relaxation at the end of the day.


(September 23rd to October 22nd)

Someone their friends love. There’s nothing more important in a Libra’s life than their family and friends. They have big social circles and spend a lot of time and energy making sure everyone in it is happy. If you love a Libra, make a great impression on the people they love. There’s absolutely no hope for you if you can’t do this.


(October 23rd to November 22nd)

Vulnerability. The way to get a real relationship with a Scorpio is to pursue them. They love to be hunters themselves but they are fiercely protective of themselves, they will never be the one to open up first. They need to see you do this and providing a loving, open environment for them to follow suit.


(November 23rd to December 21st)

Passion. Sagittarians aren’t interested in overly serious relationships, at least not at first. They want a light-hearted and passionate partner who wants to discuss their dreams — not reality. Feed them jokes and travel stories, show them you can be the kind of conversationalist he dreams of.


(December 22nd to January 20th)

Ambition. There’s nothing sexier to a Capricorn than ambition. They want to be one-half of a power couple that everyone else looks up to. It’s important to them that they achieve the things in life that they view as success milestones, and it’s total icing on the cake if they can have you right there with them.


(January 21st to February 18th)

Open-mindedness. There are two things an Aquarius cannot date: stupid and closed-minded. Their biggest nightmare is to end up with a sheep who doesn’t think for herself and adopts everyone else’s sense of what a good life is. He wants to discover and decide these things with you. Show him that you can think for yourself and you’re willing to break the mold and do whatever makes the two of you happy.


(February 19th to March 20th)

A girlfriend who is deep. A Pisces cannot date someone shallow, period. They absolutely need someone who cares about having long, meaningful conversations about the big questions in life. Show them that you’re more than capable of thinking about subjects more nuanced than whatever is trending on Twitter. TC mark

A Tribute To The Facebook Heroes Who NEVER Post Anything Political

Posted: 16 Nov 2016 01:30 PM PST

Out of all my Facebook friends, there are about four or five who don’t regularly festoon their wall with political vitriol, all of it tinged with an unearned smugness. So let’s take a break from the masturbatory indignation to honor the handful of heroes who don’t post anything political on Facebook.

They’re like the marshmallows in Lucky Charms, or Lucky Charms mixed in a worse cereal. As graceful innocents, they refrain from manipulating the conversation with their political agenda, and merely exist on Facebook, never pushing. I love them for it.

There’s my friend Pete (Hi Pete!), who occasionally posts artwork and pictures from his travels. Or take Sarah, who rides horses and always posts horse-related things. If she ever posted anything not related to horses, I’d get worried. Brian posts new songs he’s written, and Jeff posts pictures of his kids. There’s only a few more I could list. The rest are shit.

To be honest, I’d be happy to see the Facebook versions of all my friends die. But perhaps it’s like The Matrix, and so it might cause them to die in the real world. Tough call.

It’s simply that I know so many people who are more disciplined in regularly posting political items than they are at producing their own work. Many of them can’t understand why their pet peeve is not the national agenda, and others love jumping on fashionable outrage. Bloviating as if I've subscribed to their personal blog, they often warn that they’re about to get political or serious, even though it’s something they do several times a day. If any of my Facebook friends talked to me in person the way they proselytize on Facebook, I’d break the very hand they use to click “post.”

This is not meant to take away from the power of Facebook to do good. We all know that World War II ended when Cameron from Seattle shared an article about Nazis and simply wrote: “This.” And who can forget that time when Heather from Austin ended slavery with a nasty white people meme?

But this article is not about them.

No, we’re here to serenade those whose Facebook presences actually resemble how they are in real life conversation: natural and human. They listen and interact, as opposed to the rest who resemble the crazy people yelling about the government in Times Square.

Perhaps you think that there’s nothing inherently noble about abstaining from posting political items. We disagree, and we’re probably not Facebook buddies.

Even more than sports, politics reduces once logical people to over-emotional children, who feel their emotion renders them an expert.

Understand that your friends only like you for a few reasons (sorry), and one of them is surely not your rancorous political opinion. So if you begin to go beyond those few things and force your agenda on them, they might just lose interest, and you will die alone (we all die alone, I guess, but that’s a side issue).

Think of this before you post something political to Facebook: If you physically invited all of your Facebook friends into a press room, and said what you want to post, would they come? Would they ever return to another press conference? Probably not. Most of them won’t show up to your wedding.

Facebook should add a few features to discourage the onslaught of political bile, like a new reaction featuring a smiley-face pleasuring itself, or perhaps some sort of automatic check which analyzes your post for its similarity to the 1.7 billion other Facebook users. So when you wrote your coattail-riding treatise on the trending news of the day, the Hack Check would say, "Your post has 97 percent words in common with 6.4 million other users' posts. Are you sure you want to publish, you unoriginal hack?" It could help.

Here are things I’d rather look at on Facebook other than my friends’ political postings: new cars I can’t afford, badly lit pictures of food, updates on weight loss, the women they slept with the previous night, awful tattoos, worse accomplishments, and even, yes, babies, as long as they’re not wearing political buttons.

So thank you Pete and Sarah and Brian and Jeff. Thank you to all those who allow Facebook to be a somewhat organic environment. Perhaps you have friends in your life like this. Tell them you appreciate them, because one day they may leave Facebook without ever knowing how you feel.

And to all the rest: I hope your candidate loses in a horrible flameout of shame. I hope whatever issue is important to you turns out for the worst. I hope the demographic you think it’s cool to hate become the very people you need help from in the future. I hope.

It’s like Yeats said in that poem I don’t understand: “The best lack all conviction, while the worst are full of passionate intensity.”

Come on, people, let’s take Facebook back to what it used to be: a place to pretend you were enjoying your life. TC mark