Thought Catalog


17 Women Share The Bullshit Stereotypes About ‘Females’ They’re Sick To Death Of Hearing

Posted: 17 Nov 2016 08:30 PM PST

@marishkakuroedova / www.twenty20.com
@marishkakuroedova / www.twenty20.com

1. Don’t Want Kids? You Hate Babies

How we’re supposed to be ‘naturally predisposed’ to wanting children. And if we don’t, that must mean we’re sick/crazy/etc. and must HATE children.

doomflower

2. Women=Difficult

“Women are difficult to understand.”

No. People are difficult to understand if they don’t know how to communicate their feelings, thoughts, desires, etc.

WasabiHoney

3. “It’s all in your head”

That all the stuff that happens to me and tons of other women doesn’t really happen ie “it’s all in your head.”

UnicornMeatTaco

4. All Women Are Jealous

That if I don’t like another girl for whatever reason that automatically means I’m jealous. I hear it constantly (not just about me I mean, I hear people say it all the time to other girls) and I honestly don’t even know where that logic comes from because, me personally, if I do happen to “be jealous” of another girl the last thing I would do is act catty towards her.

sliceofwonderbread

5. Emotions=PMS

That every emotion we exhibit is chalked up to being PMS, because obviously women are incapable of having rational and valid emotional responses to events in our lives…

supbanana

6. “you’re not like other girls”

I hate “you’re not like other girls”. Unfortunately, I think there are a lot of guys out there who sincerely believe it’s a sweet compliment. It comes with all kinds of nasty implications and stereotypes about women as a whole, so when I hear it, it makes me think that that particular man who said it doesn’t have a positive view of women in general.

youcancallmecal

7. That you’ll “change”

“What, you don’t want children? Oh that will change, you’ll change your mind when you get older!”

Yeah thanks for wishing upon me the failure of my childfree relationship and the loss of everything I always believed about myself and my dreams.

Not every woman wants children, just like not every man wants them. The fact that we have the uterus does not mean we are less capable of making a decision about this, or should be taken less seriously when we do.

JWitch90

8. That Anger Is only an emotion when women are angry

That we’re more emotional and thus irrational idiots. I know a few guys who act like women make no sense and are driven by feelings instead of logic. Dude I’ve seen you lose your shit over a sports game on TV, don’t come at me like you’re fucking Spock.

Pariah_Dog

9. Relaxation cliches

That I’m supposed to be a sucker for wine, chocolate, salads, yoga, and bubble baths.

wermberm

10. Women Love Assholes

That we all have the same female taste and it’s predictable who we will be attracted to. No, not all women like men who are assholes (I certainly don’t).

ohdearsweetlord

11. Asking For it

That women are “asking for” sexual advances/harrassment/rape because we…wear dresses/makeup/high heels/other scandalous attire.

No. If I was asking you for sex, it would be in the form of “hey, wanna fuck?”, not in the form of red lipstick.

thetrishwarp

12. so much nonsense

“You have equal rights already. Now you just want the upper hand.”

“Dating is so much easier. I wish I had a vagina and people would just chase me!”

“You’re only voting for Hillary because she’s a woman.”

“Let me tell you a fact: All of your guy friends want to fuck you.”

ApricotPickles

13. Bad drivers

That women can’t drive for shit.

tinadima

14. delicate flowers

That we’re delicate little flowers who need to be treated with kid gloves.

recovering_spaz

15. “calm down”

Getting told to “calm down” when what I say makes you uncomfortable.

zadillac

16. That women shouldn’t control their own bodies

That women shouldn’t have abortions. If you don’t have the ability to get pregnant AND you are not living my life, you have no right or a say in what I chose to do or not to do with my body.

Super_RN

17. that women don’t have agency

That bisexual women are just “looking for attention” or “into threesomes”.

That trans women can’t be women because “women don’t have penises.”

That when I’m angry I “must be PMSing” even though I don’t even get periods.

That I should take any man that wants me because “who else will want anyone like [me].”

That if I’m nice to a guy, I “was definitely flirting.”

TheOneRuler

18. gold diggers

I’m tired of hearing women being accused of gold-digging agenda’s or plotting to trap men by getting pregnant. Does it happen, yeah, do men do things like this too, yeah but I’m really over the assumption that money=everything to women.

Gennova666

19. “you’re prettier without makeup”

I’m sick of hearing a lot of men talk about make-up as if their opinions matter to women. I don’t wear make up for you, guys. I’m not lying to you by putting mascara on my weird blonde eyelashes. I run errands with none on some days, other days I feel like putting on concealer and eyeliner, and some days I feel like having bright pink lips. Get over it!!!!

melcrawmeow

20. dating is easy for women

I’m tired of hearing people say dating is easier for women. No, it’s actually not any easier. Not every woman is attractive. Unattractive and average women exist, too.

needvitaminD

21. virginity matters more for women

When people think the virginity is some ‘precious’ thing that women have. Young girls shouldn’t feel so much pressure about losing their virginity. You either have had sex, or you haven’t. Not being a virgin doesn’t make you a slut, and being a virgin doesn’t make you prude or ‘saintly’.

abmont153

22. women doesn’t equal “girl”

I’m tired of being infantilized. I’m 34 years old; I stopped being a “girl” decades ago. I am most definitely not your “baby.” If one is so threatened by women that you have to reduce us to children, then there’s a serious problem going on, and it’s not mine…

atenea-del-sol

23. that women are dull

That when we are parents we helicopter, are overprotective and no fun

That women can’t truly be intelligent or creative

That women aren’t funny

That women hate other women

That women hate being women

That women have no real hobbies or interest

And that women really are more happy being housewives

JediKnight1

24. sexual double standards

That women can’t have multiple sexual partners. It makes them a ‘slut’. Mate you’ve slept with thirty girls and not one of them is a slut. Number one, what makes it okay for you/men to do it, but you can shame women for doing the same? Number two, get your dick out of your mouth you ignorant pleb.

Sarahkubar

25. women are frivolous

I’m tired of women and their interests being labeled as basic/silly.

An example of what I mean, is the meme about how guys and girls take pictures. How it shows a guy only taking pictures of the cool thing and women only taking pictures of themselves. Even if that were true, who cares?

You have people that seem dedicated to finding things wrong with what women like. The “just girly things” got targeted as being stupid and basic and while I didn’t personally relate to those images, I also don’t care about it enough to make fun of it. Tumblr is labeled as an “sjw” haven when it’s really not. It has a lot of cool shit going on and you’ll never have to see any political shit if you don’t go searching for it. But women frequent it, so it must be emotional and stupid.

Abeshaves

26. that all women are the same

I live in a houseshare with three men and basically just hate any sentence that begins with “women are….”

Any generalization is de facto false. What’s interesting is that even when I provide evidence to the contrary, they just seem to make me the exception to the rule rather than accept heterogeneity.

The last one I heard was that “women tell you how you feel or assume how you feel rather than listening to you and what you actually want”.

Annoying as it is, these generalizations always come from a person’s insecurities. If you have had one or two experiences that reinforce ideas you already had (such as the idea that other people lack empathy or don’t respect your needs) then you will focus on those experiences and generalize them. This seems to be what has happened every time I speak to the men I know about what “women are…”

reallybigleg TC mark

33 Little Things That Will Make Her Orgasm Hard When You Eat Her Out

Posted: 17 Nov 2016 08:00 PM PST

CreateHER Stock
CreateHER Stock

1. Say her name in between licks.

2. Moan, like her pussy is the best thing you’ve ever tasted.

3. Tell her it’s the best thing you’ve ever tasted.

4. Glance up at her.

5. But don’t stare at her for so long that she becomes self-conscious.

6. Kiss her on the lips of her vagina.

7. Tell her how hard she’s making you.

8. Remove your shirt so she can get a glimpse of your muscles.

9. Turn the sound on your phone off, so you’re not interrupted or distracted.

10. And turn the television off. Unless the steamy scene from the Titanic or the oral scene from Gone Girl is playing.

11. Let her wrap her legs around your head.

12. Compliment the scent, taste, and feel of her vagina.

13. Compliment her stomach, her eyes, and any other body part you’re attracted to.

14. Play music in the background — either something that will help her relax or something that will help put her in the mood.

15. Kiss the inside of her thighs.

16. Use lube (or at least make sure she’s sufficiently wet) before sticking any fingers up there.

17. Let her reach down and play with your hair.

18. Skim your fingers across her thighs, her stomach, and her hips.

19. Caress her breasts.

20. Take things slow. Don’t rush through the foreplay, because women enjoy anticipation.

21. Never ask her if she orgasmed or if she’s close to orgasming, because it’ll only make her nervous.

22. Don’t glance at the clock, either.

23. Use a vibrator if it seems like your mouth isn’t getting the job done.

24. Listen to her moans to see what she likes and what she isn’t all that crazy about.

25. Play with her nipples with one hand and her clit with the other hand.

26. Ask her if there’s something specific that she’d like you to do to her.

27. Move your tongue in ways you’ve never moved it before to see if you can find something new that she likes.

28. Reach underneath her to squeeze her ass. But don’t put any fingers inside, unless you know she’s into that.

29. Keep your fingernails short and clean, so that they don’t end up irritating her.

30. When your tongue gets tired, take a short break to talk dirty to her.

31. Make her feel fucking beautiful.

32. When she starts to cum, don’t stop touching her, because her orgasm will be more intense if you keep doing what you’ve been doing.

33. After she orgasms, see if you can make her orgasm a second time. TC mark

27 Men And Women Confess The Weird And Dirty Hot Traits That They’re Shamefully Attracted To

Posted: 17 Nov 2016 07:00 PM PST

@chantylove/ www.twenty20.com
@chantylove/ www.twenty20.com

1.

Lola Bunny from Space Jam.

Also Jasmine when she’s in red. Belle in the yellow dress.

Tibeardius

2.

When I was a kid: the reporter from the Skippy the Kangaroo animated series. Yes, she was a kangaroo.

costumus

3.

Girls with nice backs. Not overly muscular, but smooth, clear, lightly tanned skin. Some guys are ass men, some are boob men. I’m a back man. Love it and I can’t explain why.

Fire_x_Ice

4.

There was a girl in my college chemistry class who had suffered from severe facial burns that were uncorrected. She could best be described as ‘Lisa Kudrow cast in the role of Two-Face, or the Norse Goddess Hela’. To many, she’d be a butterface- great body, blond, 1/2 half of her face was gorgeous. The other half was messed up with keloid tissue, but still largely the same (she had a face). If you didn’t get within 50 feet, you’d assume she was just a statuesque blonde girl. I was fascinated and couldn’t stop staring. She hated me because she thought I was gawking at her because of her deformity. One of my great regrets is that I never developed the bravery to tell her I was staring because I thought she was fascinating, that she was more beautiful because she was unique.

LeRoienJaune

5.

Collars on women. The recent resurgence of the choker has been amazing.

Boopyoursnoot

6.

When a girl is a complete wreck and just gives you that look like “this is me.” There’s something about it that is just so attractive and sexy.

UnmaskPsycopath

7.

I wouldn’t say I’m exactly ashamed but I definitely don’t advertise that feet are a big turn/attraction for me.

PM_Me_Your_Ass_Feet

8.

Trashy girls. Seriously if I see a pretty trashy girl I’m fucked.

FedDetainee

9.

Girls with off-color hair, used to be mostly punk chicks, now there are a lot of cos-play girls that do it too.

Nothing turns my head faster than a glimpse of blue, purple or green hair in a crowd.

Unique5309

10.

Men I don’t know. I don’t want to get to know them, I just want to have sex with them once. I wanna accidentally bump into them at a store, make eye contact, go bang it out somewhere, and never talk to them again. I dunno, I guess I’m really curious as to what different dudes dicks look like.

TheDoubtfulGuest

11.

Women ages 40-60 with big butts.

I’m 30.

MindofKB

12.

Girls who laugh in a way that suggests mental instability. The most attractive girl I ever knew shook and laughed until every molecule of air in her body was expelled. She sounded like an albatross being forced through a cheese grater, and I loved her for it.

TheSump

13.

Tall women, basically “larger” than me in every regard. Idealistically around 6’0″ to 6’5″. There’s something so dick-hardening about a woman who could easily overpower and rape/murder me whenever she wants, but doesn’t.

SomeMetroid

14.

Lesbians. I’m only ashamed because I feel like a dick for how many times I’ve asked out lesbians. I don’t know they’re lesbians when I ask them out if that makes it any better. There’s just something about them, the short hair, tomboyish clothes, confidence in everything they do. I find it insanely attractive.

Judge_Bredd2

15.

I would never tell anyone this, but… women dressed as clowns.

Im not sure where or how it started.

GozerDaGozerian

16.

Resting bitch face.

weaksaucedude

17.

I want the ever loving fuck degraded out of me in bed. Call me every bad word in the book and that gets me going, I love the idea of a guy having power over me and going rough. Telling me what to do and taking control.

Although at an intellectual level I’d be disgusted by a guy who treated me so badly so it’s unlikely I’ll find someone who can adequately fulfill that desire and still be a good partner who respects me out of bed.

sithhappensbro

18.

Oh gee, confession time.

I have a deep, ridiculous, almost weird obsession with chubby guys. I’m not ashamed of liking chubby guys btw, I’m ashamed of the intensity to which I like them.

I also feel so guilty about fetishising them but I can’t help it. I love hugging a chubby guy and feeling them being all soft and cuddly; it makes me weak in the knees and gives me an instant ladyboner.

I’m sort of on the skinny side and for some reason, I seem to repel the kind of guys I’m physically attracted to; all of them ignore me and it just makes me want to want them more.

AdorkableGeekster

19.

Girls with low self-esteem. I just want to lift them up to the point where they realize they are too good for me.

Darkuwa

20.

Men’s back and shoulders. Mmmmmmm. I just want to lick them.

anim0sitee

21.

For whatever reason, I’m attracted to women who hate everyone. Homebodies, cynical, with a general disgust for other people.

Maybe it’s the challenge of breaking down their walls. Maybe it’s an opposites attract kinda thing, since I generally enjoy being in large groups of people and meeting new people. Idk, I never really thought about it before now.

Kpc04

22.

Sticking things up my bf’s butt…

BoneJumper

23.

Guys who think they have no chance with me, or are conventionally unattractive. This is really shitty of me to admit, but through them, I actually feel like I am pretty. Realistically, I know I have a lot of physical features that people consider “attractive”; but I never really feel that way about myself unless I’m receiving an obsessive level of devotion.

TruePseudonym

24.

Confidence. Like, deluded fucking ridiculous confidence. The type of woman who legitimately thinks they could have any guy they wanted and prides themselves on it.

blargh29

25.

The way women dress when they’re home alone and know they’ll be staying in.

I love the oversized t-shirt. I love the sweatpants with the two-day old beefaroni stain. I love the messy, shitty ponytail with the split-ends and fly-aways sticking out all over the place.

Much like Troy from Community, I’d take it over lingerie any day, because I just like knowing she’s comfortable. If she’s a mess and she’s happy, so am I.

I mean, maybe it’s not something shameful, but it’s not something you mention. “I wanna see you look like shit” isn’t exactly the most attractive come-on, is it?

ElGrumpo

26.

Blowjobs, giving.

For some reason, almost every other person I speak to either detests giving blowjobs and thinks its gross, or is just very indifferent to it.

I love it. I even like swallowing. I like just being able to play with it and do what ever I want, like when you eat a popsicle for fun, but I also like when he grabs my hair and basically just fucks my mouth.

Do other people’s boyfriends just have gross dicks? I don’t understand why so many other people don’t like it.

CutestBoy

27.

Girls who clumsily try sexy things but kinda goof. Like when she spontaneously tries to lick her own nipples but finds her boob arent quite big enough.

jsnforce TC mark

11 Intimate Acts That Might Mean Absolutely NOTHING To Him

Posted: 17 Nov 2016 06:00 PM PST

Troy Freyee
Troy Freyee

1. Having sex. Be careful, because he might want your body and only your body. Not a girlfriend. Not a relationship. Not a genuine emotional connection. Just an orgasm.

2. Texting all night long. Even if you stayed up extra late to talk to him about the minuscule details of your life, it doesn’t mean you’re on your way to becoming a couple. He might’ve been up anyway. And he might’ve been talking to other girls at the same time. He might’ve been having the same conversations with them or even more intimate conversations with them.

3. Holding hands. If he does this in public, when you’re surrounded by people you know, he probably does want to date you. But if he only holds your hand when you’re alone in his bed, then it doesn’t mean as much as you think it does. It might mean nothing at all.

4. Cuddling. Some men want a warm body pressed up against them, because it’s comforting (and usually leads to sex). They don’t necessarily care who that woman is. They don’t necessarily want a relationship with her.

5. Receiving oral sex. You might be so used to giving orgasms that you freak out when you actually get one. But some men are gentlemen. Even if you’re just a one-night stand, they’ll still eat you out.

6. Talking about his past. Your friends know all about your childhood crushes and embarrassing moments, don’t they? Then hearing about his past doesn’t guarantee that he wants to date you. But he at least sees you as a friend, which is better than nothing.

7. Flirting. Some men find a woman they really like and flirt with her and only her. Other men flirt with every girl they see, regardless of whether or not they’re actually interested. It depends on the guy. His flirting could mean everything or nothing at all.

8. Paying for your meal. Some men will take you out to dinner, hoping to get laid or start a FWB relationship. It’s not a date-date. It’s just casually hanging out.

9. Exchanging nudes. He might send dick pics to every woman that seems the slightest bit attracted to him. The picture he sent you might not have even been taken for you. It might’ve been taken for the last girl or the girl before that.

10. Kissing. Even if that first kiss felt amazing, it doesn’t mean that there’s going to be a second one. It’s not because you were a bad kisser or because he got bored of you. It’s not because you’re unattractive or unsuccessful. It just happens.

11. Telling you how much he likes you. He might be telling you this to lead you on. Or to fuck with you. Or because he does really like you, even though he’s not ready to commit to you. TC mark

Ditch These 6 Thoughts About Food Immediately If You Want To Lead A Healthy Life

Posted: 17 Nov 2016 05:30 PM PST

kellydecoteau
kellydecoteau

I'm sure we're all guilty of thinking of desserts as 'naughty' or 'bad'. Maybe you've even told someone how many calories are in that biscuit you're both eyeing off. While meant in an innocent way, the way we think about food can actually cause problems that we may not realise.

A healthy attitude towards food is one of the most powerful tools you can have to help you follow a healthy lifestyle. Today I'm going to talk about some of the common thoughts about eating you need to kick to the kerb!

"I deserve this"

Treating yourself every now and then is absolutely fine, so long as you do it in moderation. That being said, telling yourself you 'deserve' a particular food because you had a bad day can cause bigger problems. Using food as a reward can be a slippery slope for some of us. In some cases, food can be used to numb feelings, which means you aren't really addressing the issue that's bothering you. Rather than feeling better, you may end up feeling guilty about snacking instead.

Find other ways to reward yourself instead of using food. Sink into a nice relaxing bath, or treat yourself to an at-home facial. It can be a much better pick-me-up than a huge bowl of ice cream each time you feel stressed or sad.

"It says 99.9% fat free, so I can definitely eat it."

Whilst fat free foods may seem like the answer to your prayers, they aren't as great as they may seem. To replace the flavour lost when removing the fat, these foods may contain higher levels of sugar. The other problem? Thinking the terms 'all natural', 'low fat' or 'fat free' means you can eat twice as much. Portion control is just as important as eating healthier options, so ditch the idea that these so-called 'healthy' foods are a free pass.

It's always a good idea to review food labels and use them to determine if something is healthy, instead of relying on the marketing. Once you understand how food labelling works, it can really make a big difference to your shopping habits. Arming yourself with that knowledge is much better than choosing food based on what looks good on the shelf or TV.

"It's all or nothing!"

It's not always a smart idea to drastically change your diet overnight. While choosing to eat healthier is a fantastic move, you may find you're the type of person who gets better results by making gradual changes. Scrapping your favourite foods in one hit can leave you feeling deprived, which may lead to a binge down the track. With a binge often comes guilt, which can cycle the whole process again.

A positive mindset goes a long way towards beating the binge guilt. Don't punish yourself if you ate more than you intended to yesterday. Focus on how you can develop better habits today and tomorrow.

"I can't eat that, it's bad"

Labelling food as 'bad' can actually work against you. Telling yourself (and other people) that particular foods are off-limits builds fear and often makes you crave the food even more. If you give in and indulge the craving, you might even begin to associate that negative label with yourself. Does this sound familiar? Saying to your friends "I ate a huge bag of chips last night, I'm so bad."

Instead of using 'good' and 'bad' food labels, consider how those foods made you feel when you ate them. Did that bag of chips make you feel like you had enough energy to get through the day? Probably not. You don't have to feel guilty for enjoying food — aim for balance in your diet instead.

"It's not my fault, I'm addicted to…"

It sounds like passing the buck, and it kind of is. When you make statements like "I'm addicted to sugar," you may actually be convincing yourself that you're powerless to resist the urge to indulge. Thinking in this way almost puts the food in control! It then becomes very easy to make excuses for choosing less-than-healthy options.

Remember that you can take control of your health and choose not to eat high fat or high sugar foods. Reminding yourself that your body deserves the best foods to do the things you love is a powerful mindset that might help overcome this negative thinking.

"I wouldn't normally eat that, but it is a special occasion"

Don't be your own worst enemy when dining out or celebrating. Thinking of how much exercise you need to work off that slice of chocolate cake is the easiest way to ruin it for yourself. Using food as a reward or seeing exercise as a punishment for enjoying food is not a good way to approach your diet. Don't get caught in the trap of thinking you need to earn food by exercising first or skipping meals.

As I've said, you can treat yourself occasionally. Balance is incredibly important for all aspects of our lives – physically, emotionally and mentally. Your healthy lifestyle CAN work in conjunction with a social life, so long as you don't overdo it every time you go out.

Our relationship with food can have a huge bearing on how we enjoy and process it, as well as our body image and confidence.

Rather than feeling guilty or depriving yourself, recognise that you may have good days and bad days. Be kind to yourself as well — having dessert once in awhile is not a bad thing! TC mark

31 Men And Woman Describe Exactly When You Have To Break Up With Your SO

Posted: 17 Nov 2016 05:00 PM PST

29644578843_ca3852c528_h
@willduncan / www.twenty20.com

1. “When the memories mean more to you than the person standing in front of you.”

hirgon13

2. “I was with my ex for almost 5 years. For the last 2.5 years of the relationship, I wasn’t all that happy. What kept me around though was remembering the fun times we had the previous years and the few good memories we were making in the present. Eventually I had a come to Jesus moment and said fuck it; I deserve better than occasionally being happy around him. It’s a tough thing to go through when you finally realize it’s over, but you’ll be better off in the end.”

THROWIN

3. “When either or both parties start exhibiting contempt for the other. Contempt is corrosive and there’s no recovery from the damage it inflicts. Any betrayal that the betrayed party can’t forgive.

It’s best to make a clean break and part company right away.”

pissbum-emeritus

4. “There is no perfect time to break up. Some people say ‘oh, I’ll wait until after the holidays’, or ‘I’ll wait until after their birthday.’ My ex broke up with me the day my grandmother died, which at the time did indeed suck, however, if she had faked it and saw me through all that, I might have grown even more attached and in the end, it may have been worse. Don’t delay the inevitable, you aren’t doing anyone a favor, and it will be harder in the end.”

BruddyMarvaris

5. “When the relationship feels like taking a dead dog for a walk.”

chandetox

6. “When you’re arguing every day. When you feel like you’re trapped. When other men/women are appealing to you and the only reason you aren’t with them is because you are already in a relationship. When you are hiding issues from your friends whom you tell everything because you don’t want them to know how fucked up everything really is in your relationship and you don’t want the judgement. When you don’t speak because you feel that it will anger the other person and you don’t want to argue anymore. When you feel powerless.

I got out of something and I never looked back. It isn’t easy at all but you feel better if you get out of something that is hurting you daily.”

LeiLeiVB

7. “When you start understanding country music.”

Kiygre

8. “When abuse happens. The FIRST time it happens.
When you lose respect for your partner, or visa versa.
When the relationship feels more like a chore instead of a pleasure.”

not_falling_down

9. “When you’re fantasizing about living normal life, but without the other person there.”

VforFivedetta

10. “When the idea of breaking up is in your mind more often than the idea of staying with your SO.”

cami_loretto

11. “When you dread the times that you’re supposed to hang out together.”

PM_ME_LEGAL_PAPERS

12. “It’s time to break up when you’re consciously behaving to keep peace or avoid a fight. That’s no way to live.”

Xeno505

13. “When they start only caring about themselves without taking you or the relationship into consideration.”

funnywind

14. “When you feel as you can’t say anything to your SO without them making you feel like shit. May it be by smart remarks or feeling as you did something wrong when you just try to show Him/Her you love them, Albeit it might be in a weird way.”

Dogs_did_911

15. “When trust exists, but must always be verified.

When attraction ceases.

When the highlight of your life with them is choosing between TGI Fridays and Applebees.

When their/your principle excuse for cheating is either boredom or hatred.

If they put the TP in the ‘under’ position.”

Dehy

16. “When you have tried to talk out your problems but they keep coming back.”

ItchyButtCheeks

17. “When you realize not only are you not in love, but you don’t even like your SO as a person anymore.”

hidinginplain_sight

18. “When it feels like you have become more of a parent than a companion.”

nakedwines

19. “When your SO doesn’t smell good to you anymore. I don’t mean they stink or they have a smelly moment (ate bad mexican, just worked out etc) but if their general smell is no longer appealing it’s over.”

BexandBlackcats

20. “You choose every day to be with that person.

The day you feel like you’re not making a choice, that you’re forced into something, is the day.”

homoanthropologus

21. “There are a lot of people here saying that as soon as you think it’s time to break up, you should definitely break up with them. I can see where they’re coming from, but I don’t agree entirely.

As soon as you start thinking seriously about breaking up with them, think about why you want that. What about the relationship isn’t making you happy?

Then talk to them about it. See if they feel the same way. See if they’ve noticed that they’re behaving in a way that upsets you. If they don’t care, won’t work with you to make the relationship worth having, then it’s time to break up.

But if they take into consideration the things you have to say, then you could end up taking the relationship to much better level than you’ve experienced up until now.

I’ve been in both situations. My first ever proper SO, I was with for 15 months. When things started getting awful, we talked and he wasn’t prepared to do anything differently to make things better even though I wasn’t asking him for anything I wasn’t fully prepared to do myself.

But I’ve also been with a partner who stressed me out almost to breaking point. First we argued, then things calmed down and we just sat and talked for about two days about what we wanted out of being together, in a way that we never had properly before then. After that, we had to spend a little while working on the things we’d been arguing about, but we got to a place that was ultimately better than before.”

CaptainKurt08

22. “When you realize that you’re apathetic… sex.. meh take it or leave it.. no arguing because you really just don’t give a shit about anything anymore.. you don’t even get upset about things that should really hurt you, because there’s nothing left to give anymore.

Get out of there and make yourself happy again.. as shitty as the break up may be, things do get better.”

princesspants26

23. “When you start hoping that they will break up with you. When you fantasize about coming home to an empty house and having time and space to yourself.”

Clover_Point

24. “When you have determined that you and your partner have incompatible goals, or incompatible lifestyles. Love does not conquer all, and it can be very painful for some people to learn that.”

Tangurena

25. “When you argue and it doesn’t even bother you anymore.”

HausofMeow

26.

“When the rose colored glasses come off and the flags start looking like red flags.”

Lululemonparty_

27. “When you’re only together for pure convenience.”

ihateusernames12345

28. “If they suddenly showed up to where you are/were hanging out and you’d be upset/petrified rather than happy, excited or content.

If they speak to you with contempt.

Your mutual friends don’t want to hang out anymore because your arguments and unhappy tension ruin everything.

Hanging out with them feels like a chore.

You feel like you can’t trust them.”

deleted

29. “When the idea of them breaking up with you gives you relief and not devastation.”

k9centipede

30. “If they’re possessive to the point of suffocating your life. If you aren’t allowed to talk to other people without them reacting negatively. If you aren’t allowed to have your own views on things and feel pressured to conform to theirs. If they get mad if you do anything fun without them, even if it was impossible for them to be there in the first place (seems to happen a lot with long distance relationships). You shouldn’t feel like you have to hide innocent things from them because they would react negatively.

For a lot of people these things aren’t all that apparent when you’re in the relationship, but they’re pretty much abusive behaviors. The person you love should love you for you, and trust you. They should let you be your own person with your own life. Someone wanting control over you is not romantic, don’t explain this kind of shit away with ‘oh well they just love me so much they want me all to themselves’.”

Luffing

31. “I think when you have to will yourself to set things right. If you have a fight and the next day you don’t want to make up but you feel you have to, I think it’s a sign it’s over.”

Tom_Foolery1993 TC mark

25 Hilarious E-Cards That Say ‘Thanks’ Way Better Than You Could

Posted: 17 Nov 2016 04:30 PM PST

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TC mark

9 Ways Fuckboys Will Manipulate You Into Falling For Them

Posted: 17 Nov 2016 04:00 PM PST

Pexels
Pexels

1. Acting innocent.

It doesn’t matter if he kisses another girl or responds to your text three days late, because he’ll act like he didn’t do anything wrong. Arguing with him is pointless, because it makes you feel like a crazy person. Like you’re the one who was wrong. Like you were overreacting and he has nothing to apologize for.

2. Keeping in constant contact.

This doesn’t mean he’ll text you every morning, because he won’t. No, he’ll only contact you as much as he needs to stay on your mind. That’s why he’ll like your selfie or send you a Snapchat every few days. He won’t put in much effort, but it’ll be enough to keep you hooked on him.

3. Playing the victim.

If you call him out for leading you on, then he’ll give you a BS (but believable) reason why he hasn’t put a label on your relationship. He’ll either say that he’s recently been cheated on and is trying to piece his heart back together, that he’s dealing with family issues, or that he’s busy struggling to make money. There will always be an excuse, and there will never be a way for you to prove he’s bluffing.

4. Showering you with affection.

He’ll go missing for months, but when he comes back, you won’t have the chance to yell at him. Why? Because he’ll be completely and utterly charming. He’ll compliment you. Buy you gifts. Take you out on cute little dates. You won’t even be able to remember why you’re mad at him. That is, until he pulls the same stunt again and leaves you all alone.

5. Sleeping with you.

Somehow, someway, he’ll figure out how to get you into bed. But there won’t be a conversation about any of it. When he kisses you, you won’t be able to tell if it means nothing to him or everything. And when you wake up the next morning, you won’t know if you have a new boyfriend of if you’ve just been used. It’s impossible to read his thoughts and figure out his intentions.

6. Straight up lying.

He’ll do whatever it takes to look likable. He’ll tell you that he’s single. That he deleted his Tinder. That he doesn’t know the girl that tagged him on Facebook. That you’re the only girl he’s interested in. He’s a natural liar and he never even feels bad about it. He’ll say whatever he needs to say to get himself out of trouble — and into your bed.

7. Sending mixed signals.

He’s always on your mind, because there’s always some weird thing he did that you’re trying to interpret. Maybe he texted you and then suddenly stopped responding. Maybe he made plans with you and then canceled. You’re always trying to figure him out, because he’s as confusing as hell.

8. Being vague.

He won’t tell you that he’s looking for a relationship — but he won’t tell you that he’s happy being single, either. And he won’t tell you that he’s interested — but he won’t tell you that he’s found somebody else, either. He’ll make you think you stand a chance. Even if you don’t, you won’t know it, because he never posts selfies with other girls or changes his relationship status on Facebook. He always looks like he’s single, even when he isn’t.

9. Acting jealous.

Even though he’s running around with other women, he’ll act offended when he sees you flirting with someone else. It’ll make you wonder if he has a serious crush on you, if you’re different from all the other girls — but no, that’s another one of his tricks. He just doesn’t want to lose you as his backup plan. TC mark

Here’s Why Addressing Diversity On College Campuses Is So Important

Posted: 17 Nov 2016 03:30 PM PST

Visha Angelova
Visha Angelova

Protests around the country at college campuses have become more and more prevalent the last couple of years. While protesting has always existed for various reasons by student-activist groups, the surge in protests lately is due to the alarming frequency at which racism and stereotyping has taken over universities.

While it's important to not ignore that this issue has been around forever, a lack of equal treatment for students has escalated in many ways in recent years. This has equated to violence aimed at minorities and non-violent protests turned violent by the hands of police officers and authority figures.

Activist groups are striving for a campus setting with equal opportunity; an academic world free of racism. The following information points out the realities of how U.S. colleges are in many ways, not diverse.

1. Athletics are convoluted by white men.

Many people make bogus arguments such as: "plenty of minorities play college sports." They claim that the playing field is equal and that statistically speaking, college athletics are diverse and fair for everyone who wants to play.

But this is simply not the case.

The Lack of Diversity in American College Sports, a resource by Ohio University’s Master of Coaching program points out the following:

Of all male athletes at universities, 69.4% are Caucasian.

When it comes to women's sports, 76.2% of athletes are white.

But it doesn't stop there. Caucasians also dominate the head coaching ranks for both men and women’s sports. On average over 85% of coaches are white, and the majority are men.

2. Even the mascots are racist.

In addition to how representation in college sports is dominated by white males, a slap in the face of diversity presents itself when the mascots and associated imagery for these sports teams is examined.

In my previous Thought Catalog article, titled Why Mascots Aren't Part Of Tradition When They're Racist, I explored this issue in sports ranging from high school, even early education, all the way to professional sports teams.

It's important to recognize the severity of racism that exists in sports teams, especially when the U.S. capitol's pro NFL team is still called the Washington Redskins. The thick racist irony here is not excusable.

Additionally, U.S. high schools remain substantially guilty of distasteful mascots, with over 100 teams calling themselves "Braves", 74 "Warriors", over 50 "Redskins", and over 400 teams currently calling themselves "Indians".

Thankfully programs exist that aim to reverse this racism in sports mascots. Adidas stated in a recent press release that they are willing to float the costs associated with changing uniforms and images for teams if they agree to change their names to something less harmful.

But this is just a starting point. Full blown restructuring needs to happen in order to keep racism out of sports team names and athletics in general.

3. Professors aren't diverse.

It's obvious that there are illegitimate racial barriers at stake for college athletes, but they also exist in other areas of education. This is also an unfortunate truth when it comes diversity in teaching roles.

A piece by Fusion takes an in-depth look at the race of professors at 30 top U.S. universities. And a chart in that article shows that all had about 60% or more white faculty, some over 75% white.

The article quotes data from the Mother Jones show, and concludes the following:

"Unsurprisingly, the numbers show that the teaching staff America's universities are much whiter and much more male than the general population, with Hispanics and African-Americans especially underrepresented. At some schools, like Harvard, Stanford, the University of Michigan, and Princeton, there are more foreign teachers than Hispanic and black teachers combined."

4. We need to look at how to promote diversity at colleges in other ways.

But what can we do to promote change, especially if we are in a position of privilege?

First off, the schools themselves absolutely need to take action. Brown University has taken the lead on this recently, by putting forth $100 million to address diversity and racism at the school. Universities around the country should follow their lead and invest in more well-rounded futures.

Students should also do their part. The more student-led activist groups that exist, the quicker change will actually take place. If there is no group at your school pushing equality, then take initiative and start one! And these groups are out there at your school already, join and support by not accepting the 'fate' of predominantly Caucasian led schools and athletics.

Minorities deserve equal representation, and students speaking their minds on the issue will truly make the difference. TC mark

What Your Girlfriend With Anxiety Wants, But Won’t Ever Ask For

Posted: 17 Nov 2016 03:00 PM PST

@BYONELOVE
@BYONELOVE

She wants your reassurance without you perceiving her as ‘needy’. She wants to hear you say you love her and that you’re not going anywhere. She wants your arms around her as you say it, showing her with your affection how much you care.

She wants you to understand and not be annoyed when she asks the same question over and over. Sometimes talking out loud helps, even if you’ve already discussed it. Did we turn the oven off? Yes. Did we lock the doors? Yes. Will we be okay if something bad happens? Yes. She just wants to hear from the person she trusts the most that everything is going to be okay.

She wants you to remind her that she has nothing to be sorry for, even though she’s apologizing all the time.

She wants to be a team with you. If it makes her anxious to order food, or argue with the cable company over the phone she’d be grateful forever if you’d take these tasks over in exchange for her doing something you don’t like to do. She wants you to understand that this isn’t coddling her, couples divide up chores based on preference all the time.

She wants you to text her ‘good night’ and ‘good morning’ when you’re not sleeping together. What she needs most of all is a partner who is steady and loyal and these actions remind her of the reliability of your love.

She wants you to hold her in your arms at night when she might be anxious and tell her that it will all be okay. Whatever in the world can go wrong isn’t bigger than the two of you. She wants you to tell her that she is strong and capable — and reminding her that she’ll always have you on her side too. TC mark