Thought Catalog


Your Man Would Get A Massive Boner Over These 30 Sexts You’ll Probably Never Send

Posted: 18 Nov 2016 08:00 PM PST

Twenty20, dantes1401
Twenty20, dantes1401

1. My pussy is off limits tonight. But you’re free to do whatever you want with my ass.

2. I’m imagining you naked. Tied to my bed. With scratch marks down your chest and cum squirting onto my chest.

3. I just masturbated to the thought of you, and you have no idea how hard I just came.

4. I bought a shit ton of sex toys and I want to test them all out tonight.

5. I’m bringing over my video camera, so you’ll have footage of me sucking the cum out of you.

6. I hope you’re horny. Because I don’t have the patience for foreplay tonight.

7. I think you’ve turned me into a nymphomaniac.

8. How many times do you want to orgasm today? I’m thinking at least three.

9. Start lubing up your cock. I’ll be there in five minutes and I want you to shove it up my ass.

10. I hope there’s beer in your fridge. I want to get tipsy and suck your dick.

11. If you promise to make me orgasm tonight, I promise I won’t wear any underwear.

12. Blindfold me. Gag me. Spank me. Handcuff me. I want it all.

13. Do you think your neighbors would notice if I came over in a trench coat with nothing on underneath?

14. I want your cum in every one of my holes tonight.

15. Answer your phone. I’m touching myself and I want you to hear the moans.

16. I wish you were here. My pussy is wet enough for you to shove your entire cock inside.

17. I’m wearing a dress with crotchless panties and old leggings I don’t mind if you rip.

18. I’m horny. Want to Skype, so I can masturbate in front of you?

19. I want you to close your eyes, imagine me riding your cock with my nipple in your mouth, and jack yourself off.

20. I’m in the mood to take nudes. Do you want to see my tits, my ass, or both?

21. Want to watch lesbian porn while you bend me over the couch?

22. Do you still have those handcuffs? I want to tie you to the bed and see how long I can torture you before you cum.

23. Get on your knees, because as soon as I walk through your door, you’re licking my pussy.

24. Do you want your dick in my ass and a dildo up my pussy, or vice versa?

25. It’s nice out today. You should bang me on a park bench.

26. I want to lick your shaft, suck on your head, and take your entire cock in my mouth until I gag.

27. You. Me. Any other girl of your choosing. We’re having a threesome and it’s happening tonight.

28. Tell your roommate to get the fuck out. I have some dirty things to say to you that he wouldn’t want to hear.

29. I can’t think about you without ruining my underwear.

30. You’re everything I’ve ever wanted. And your cock is everything my pussy could ever need. TC mark

20 Period Sex Tips, Because She’s SUPER Horny During That Time Of The Month

Posted: 18 Nov 2016 07:01 PM PST

iStockphotos, gbrundin
iStockphotos, gbrundin

1. Don’t make her feel shitty about her body. How many times has she gotten your semen in her hair? She didn’t complain about that, so you shouldn’t complain about a little blood.

2. Make her feel sexy. Even though women are usually hornier on their periods, they’re usually more self-conscious, too. So shower her with compliments to make her feel less bloated.

3. You don’t have to go down on her, but you can come close. Instead of leaving kisses across her pussy lips, leave kisses across her thighs.

4. If you don’t want to get your hands dirty, then grab one of her vibrators and use it against her clit. Or stick a dildo inside of her instead of your dick. Hey, it’s better than nothing.

5. If she’s uncomfortable removing her clothing during her period, then you can just rub her clitoris through those clothes. It might take her a little longer to get off that way, but it’s still possible.

6. Get into the missionary position, so she doesn’t have to climb on top of you. After all, she’s dealing with cramps and headaches and backaches. Doing all the work is the least you can do.

7. You can also try getting into the spooning position and thrusting while you’re side-to-side. It’ll create a strong sense of intimacy.

8. Enjoy yourself. Don’t stare down at her crotch every five seconds to see if blood is getting all over. Stare into her eyes instead.

9. If she’s interested in anal, go for it. Of course, you might end up dealing with a totally different type of mess.

10. Have sex in the shower, so all that gunk washes right down the drain.

11. Or have sex in the bathtub. Let her soak in it for a few minutes to soothe her cramps, and then jump inside to join her.

12. If you’d rather stick to having sex in a bed, then all you have to do is put down a large, dark beach towel. As long as she remains on top of it, you won’t have to worry about washing stains out of your sheets.

13. Wear a condom. Even if you rely on her birth control pills to keep her from getting pregnant, a condom will make for easy clean up.

14. Remember how important it is to give her an orgasm. It can reduce her cramps, get rid of her headaches, and even cause her period to end earlier than usual.

15. Don’t forget to ask her if she likes what you’re doing. Women are most sensitive during their periods, so she might end up hating a move that she normally loves.

16. Even if she doesn’t want to be touched below the belt, you can still turn her on in other ways. Play with her nipples and nibble on her earlobes.

17. Don’t expect her to go down on you if you refuse to have sex with her. It’s not fair for you to ask for an orgasm when you’re not willing to give her one in return.

18. If she gets blood on one of your pillows, don’t freak out. It’s not her fault. It’s natural, so don’t overreact and embarrass her.

19. Make sure she’s up for period sex, too, before you try to initiate something during that time of the month. Even if you’re comfortable with the idea, she might not be.

20. If you two agree that you aren’t interested in trying out period sex, then at least eat her out once her period week is over. She deserves it. TC mark

I Gave You Space, But You Never Came Back

Posted: 18 Nov 2016 07:00 PM PST

Unsplash, Angello Lopez
Unsplash, Angello Lopez

This is what it feels like when you give someone the space they need, only to realize that they’re going to walk away for good.

It happens — you know it does. People do it all the time. That's the reality of life. You just didn't think that it would happen to you.

When you're with the wrong person, there comes a point when things begin to unravel. One person gets too busy to see the other. One person struggles with another aspect of their life and starts to neglect the other. It becomes static, and you begin to reassess your situation with them.

The affection is still there (or at least you hope it still is), but it just doesn't feel the same anymore. Since you’re mature, you decide that it would be best to give each other space, and you do so with the best intentions. You genuinely want them to do what makes them happy — and seeing them do what makes them happy is one of the reasons why you fell for them in the first place.

If they need space to do that, you will gladly give it. But let's get real. You’re giving them the choice to leave, because you understand that the more you push for something at the wrong time, the worse the situation will become. So you leave them be. You give them the space to do whatever they need to do.

Truth is, you let them walk away, because you hope to God that they'll come back. You leave the door open, because you want them reenter the threshold and close that door when they get inside. You want to hear them say, "Hey, I'm back. And if it's all right with you, I'd like to stay a little longer this time."

You leave that door open and hope for the best. You want to be the person they turn to, because you believed in them. You had faith and decided to find the good in them.

But it is devastating when they decide to walk out of your life without another word. It will hurt. No matter what mask you put on, it will hurt like a bitch.

You expect them to chase you as much as they had in the beginning, but they don't. You are left on the curb with a box full of memories that you thought were enough to convince them to come back. And you are worth coming back for — scratch that, you are worth staying around for — and you know it in your gut.

But you still feel tightness in your chest, because even if that were true, you're still the one that's been left behind. And in that vulnerable space, you are tempted to chase.

Don't. Let them go and leave them be. You gave them space. You left the door open. The ball was in their court, but they decided to drop it. You gave them the choice, and they decided to choose otherwise.

It happens — you know it does. People do it all the time. That's the reality of life. You just didn't think that it would happen to you.

But it’s okay, because the best days of your life will never decide to leave you without saying another word. The best days of your life will decide to stay. TC mark

35 Things I’ve Learned In 35 Years Of Life

Posted: 18 Nov 2016 06:30 PM PST

Thomas Kelley
Thomas Kelley

Last week I celebrated my 35th birthday. 

In one way the phrase ‘I am 35 years old’ feels like I am getting old as I have lived almost half of my life (if average life expectancy is 75 years) and this saddens me because then I think of all the things I have not yet experienced, things that have been on my to-do list for the past many years and things that I wish to accomplish before it gets too late.

In another way it feels like my second and most important inning has just begun. I feel more zealous for living and more focussed on the fundamental blocks of life such as relationships, integrity and social service. It feels good to see my growth as I view myself as a more matured woman now. Wiser and more patient. 

Whichever way I look at my 35th birthday, I am certain about one thing – I have learnt many good lessons.

I think I have learnt the crucial lessons of life that will now govern the next cycle of my remaining life. One of the most important lessons is that I must share my knowledge with people I care for. You, my readers, are the people I care for and hence I am applying this lesson in practical. Here I am, sharing my wisdom – 35 crucial lessons learnt in 35 years of life. 

1. People are the biggest asset. In an organization it is its employees and for ordinary people like you and me, our biggest assets are our close relationships – our loved ones.

2. Family comes first. In line with the first lesson, our family must come first because nothing in this world can replace the family.

3. Virtues like honesty and self-respect are priceless. Never bargain on these. Never.

4. Accumulate experiences and not products. Experiences give us memories and products lead to clutter.

5. Spend at least 20 minutes everyday in silence. Spend them in a way that gives us solace. Walk or read or listen to music. Just be sure to get that dose of ‘me’ time everyday.

6. Words are the most powerful tool. They can make or break a relationship. Choose your words wisely especially with people you love.

7. Make people feel good about themselves. Like Maya Angelou said, ‘people may forget what you said or did to them. But they will never forget how you made them feel.’

8. Kids learn more from their parents’ behaviour than anything else. So behave yourself.

9. A ‘NO’ goes a very long way. Learn to say no to things that do not add anything meaningful to your life.

10. Our company affects us more than we can imagine it to. Choose your company wisely. Be with people you want to be like.

11. Pleasing others is a bad hobby. We all spend a great amount of time in trying to please others which is utterly useless and harmful in the long run. If I must, please myself.

12. Cry for those who value your tears. And they will not let you cry.

13. Never say never. Always be ready to accept any surprise element from life. Life is unpredictable, after all.

14. When people tell me that I have changed, I accept it as a compliment.

15. Accept that people change. The sooner you accept, the easier it gets in dealing with people.

16. In the equation of life, add those who make you love yourself. Subtract those who fill you with negativity. Multiply the genuine people around you and divide the ones who take you for granted.

17. Take it easy. Slow down and do not rush. That is the only way to live a content life.

18. Decluttering is very important. Declutter your mind, body and the house you live in.

19. The best gift I can give to my child is my undivided attention. She may forget the things I buy for her but she will always remember my presence around her.

20. Resist from sharing your opinions on everything. In this times of fortified social media presence, you never know what opinion of yours lands you in trolling. I learnt it the hard way when I shared a post on Karvachauth.

21. When you want something, ask for it. Especially with your partner. He isn’t a mind reader. Make your marriage simpler and more convenient by asking for things that you want. Ever since I started telling him and asking him for what I want, my life has got easier and marriage has only strengthened.

22. Ask questions. Challenge conventions. Do not conform just because you have to and because you have been taught to.

23. Say sorry and thank you. These two words go a long way in establishing peace and harmony.

24. Save water. In the last few years, I have travelled to many small, offbeat, lesser-known places and the dearth of water there fills me with fear that the day is not faraway when we all may have to live without water.

25. Moisturize your skin. Moisturize it really well. A well hydrated skin glows and a simple habit of keeping it moisturized will save you lot of money and efforts in the long run. You can try my DIY recipe of a 24 hr body moisturizer.

26. Do not waste too much time in arguing. People who want to understand things will understand without much argument. Those who don’t get it, will never get it.

27. Discover your love language and your partner’s. And then communicate using that language.

28. Ensure sufficient Vitamin D and calcium in your body. Indians inherently have low levels of Vitamin D and calcium and this leads to serious health and bone related problems.

29. Drink more water. I have noticed huge improvement in my skin, digestive system and overall health after I upped my daily water intake.

30. Read. Read. Read. Not only reading helps in knowing more things, it also helps in gaining wider perspectives and helps in understanding human nature at a deeper level. Whenever in doubt, pick up a good book.

31. Engage in a hobby. Be it reading, writing, crafting, sewing, cooking or anything. A good, constructive hobby helps in decluttering of mind.

32. Spend less time on TV and internet, especially social media. Two years ago, we decided to live a TV-less life and my life has never been this peaceful. I have also drastically reduced my internet screen time and this has helped me in staying more focussed.

33. Seek quality. In everything. Not just in clothes, accessories, gadgets and other tangible things but also in the more important non-tangible things. Seek quality in relationships, in thoughts, in conversations and in the way you spend time.

34. Appreciate the good in others. If you like something in somebody, go over and tell him. It will only do good to both of you.

35. Dress gracefully. Eat mindfully. Sleep soundly. Walk briskly. Smile heartily. Act kindly. Listen actively. Live genuinely.

Learning is a continuous process. As life goes on, it teaches us lessons. I am still learning and un-learning some lessons from this teacher called life. But I feel it is wise and practical to pause and look back at the journey and repeat some of these to ourselves.

What are your most important lessons in life? TC mark

Here’s The ‘Starter Home’ Grace Helbig Bought With Her YouTube $$$

Posted: 18 Nov 2016 06:06 PM PST

Grace Helbig Instagram
Grace Helbig Instagram

In 2007 Grace Helbig started vlogging because she was bored. 7 years later she cashed in some of her earnings for a starter home in Los Angeles’ hip Silver Lake neighborhood. She paid just under $1 million dollars. Considering that YouTube stars can earn that in one month, it was a steal.

She just put the home on the market for $89,000 more than she paid for it (new price: $989,000). The listing on Trulia gives us an awesome peak into her clean hipster-y style.

From the street:

Trulia
Trulia

The front door:

Trulia
Trulia

The kitchen:

Trulia
Trulia

The dining room:

Trulia
Trulia

The living room:

Trulia
Trulia

The master bedroom:

Trulia
Trulia

The master bath:

Trulia
Trulia

Guest bedroom:

Trulia
Trulia

Her backyard:

Trulia
Trulia

And of course, her vlogging studio:

Trulia
Trulia

The listing notes that Moby and Sia have also purchased homes in the area. TC mark

The One Powerful Secret To A Loving Relationship

Posted: 18 Nov 2016 05:31 PM PST

Jena Postma
Jena Postma

There are many factors that go into creating a loving relationship. Certainly it helps if two people have some things in common regarding how they like to spend their time. It also helps if they have common values around religion or spirituality, around politics, the environment, abortion and personal growth. It helps if they both eat junk food or both eat organic food. It makes things easier if both are neat or both are messy, if both are on time people or both are late people. Physical attraction is also quite important. It’s great if they have common values around money and spending.

Yet a couple can have all of these and still not have a loving relationship if one element is missing. Without this essential ingredient, all the other wonderful attributes will not be enough to make the relationship work.

This essential ingredient is about INTENTION.

The Power of Intention

At any given moment, each of us is devoted to only one of two different intentions: TO CONTROL OR TO LEARN. When our intention is to control, our deepest motivation is to have control over getting love, avoiding pain and feeling safe. When our intention is to learn, our deepest motivation is to learn about being loving to ourselves and others.

The motivation to get love rather than be loving can create havoc within a relationship.

Let’s look at a typical relationship issue and see what happens regarding the two different intentions. Jason and Samantha are feeling emotionally distant from each other, and they haven’t made love in a month. The problem started when Samantha stated that she wanted to take an expensive vacation and Jason objected. Samantha got angry, Jason gave in and they have been distant ever since.

Samantha’s intention was to have control over getting what she wanted. She equates an expensive vacation with love—if Jason does this for her, then he proves his love for her. She used her anger as a way to have control over getting what she wants. She wants control over feeling special to Jason.

Jason’s intention was to avoid pain. He gave himself up to have control over Samantha not being angry with him. He hopes that by giving Samantha what she wants, she will see him as a good and loving husband.

However, because both Jason and Samantha were trying to control each other rather than be loving to themselves and each other, their interaction created emotional distance.

What would this have looked like if their intention had been to learn?

The Intention to Learn

If Samantha’s intent had been to learn, she would not have gotten angry. Instead, she would have wanted to understand Jason’s objections. If Jason’s intention had been to learn, he would not have given himself up. Instead he would have wanted to understand why this particular vacation was so important to Samantha. Both Samantha and Jason would have been caring about themselves and each other, rather than wanting to get love or avoid pain. In their mutual exploration about why they each felt the way they did, they would have learned what they needed to learn about themselves and each other to reach a win-win resolution. Instead of Samantha ostensibly winning and Jason losing, they would have come up with something both of them could live with. With some exploration of his financial fears, Jason might have decided that the vacation Samantha wanted would be fine. With understanding of Jason’s financial concerns, and of her own need to feel special, Samantha might have decided on a less expensive vacation. In either case, both of them would have felt fine about the outcome.

No matter how much Jason and Samantha have in common or are attracted to each other, their love will diminish when their intent is to control rather than learn. It’s amazing how quickly love vanishes when one or both partners have the intent to control. It’s equally amazing how fast it comes back when both partners have the intent to learn. Through a consistent Inner Bonding practice, each person can gradually learn to stay open to learning more and more often, even in the face of conflict. TC mark

27 Men And Women Reveal The Excruciating Details Of Their Most Heartbreaking Relationships

Posted: 18 Nov 2016 05:00 PM PST

@krissana_renae / www.twenty20.com
@krissana_renae / www.twenty20.com

1. Engaged Three Months

I met Stephanie at a party in 2004, and we were together for 7 years. It was perfect, she was the love of my life. I asked her to marry me and she said yes. She was my best friend, my partner in crime, my teammate, my soul mate. We even had a dog. We were engaged only 3 months when Stephanie was murdered by an unstable person at her job at a mental health facility. Enter hell on earth. Now all I have left in my life is our dog, Dutch, the dog that probably saved my life.

Patriot420

2. Supportive Wife

Sticking by and supporting my husband of 7 years through his depression & alcoholism…only to have him tell me tonight he is leaving me. Pretty heartbroken.

geishagirlshuffle

3. The Best You Can Is Good, Good Enough

Knowing that my best wasn’t good enough.

needz

4. She Disappeared And The Reason Why Was Crushing

I engaged in a long distance relationship when I was 15. Though several states away, we managed to talk several times a day, every day. Her name was Sara and she was the first girl I ever told, “I love you.” Through countless phone cards and several months (I remember making a big deal of our 6th month), we spent would talk for hours at a time, just laughing at the stupid stuff we would say. One day the inevitable happened and Sara broke up with me. She cited several vague reasons and I finally asked if there was someone else. She said there was, which I found comforting. At least there was someone to be there with her like I couldn’t.

Heartbroken, but consoled, I told her she was welcome to call me any time she wanted. Two months and as many conversations with her later, she calls me. I’ll always remember it. My family and I were eating dinner and my mom answered the phone. She looked at me and said “It’s Sara.” I was a little shocked and excused myself from the table. I ran around the house to find a chord-less that worked and took it upstairs. I hadn’t spoken to her in at least a month and was anxious to hear what she had to say. When I picked up and my mom hung up on the other end, I could hear that she was crying. She told me that she was in the final stages of her battle with leukemia. There was no other boy, she told me, she had only wanted to spare me the experience of losing her. She explained very little, just that she wanted to talk to me again and say goodbye. After hanging up the phone I just sat there and cried.

I’m 24 now and I still have trouble dealing with this. I have no idea what actually happened because I couldn’t get a hold of anyone at the number or the address. It’s possible that she was just trying to sever contact with me by feinting a terminal illness (sounds like a bad sitcom now that I say it), but to 15 year old me she died in a bed and I couldn’t be there for her. My imagination was consumed with the feeling of loss. To this day, I can’t watch A Walk To Remember. Fuck that shit. It’s 6 in the morning and I’ve just gotten off of work 2 hours prior. I’ve had a couple of beers and under any other circumstances I wouldn’t have shared this story. For some reason I thought it would be therapeutic. It wasn’t really.

Kilroy420

5. In Love With Amanda

When I was 14 I fell in love with my best friend Amanda. We were together 24-7. We were adorable, we’d never leave each others side. A few years pass and we get a call that her mother had overdosed and passed away. We were 16 and my parents let her stay with us. We planned out our entire life together, we were going to move when we were 18 get married and have kids, we were going to be together forever. Well….that did not happen. It was the day after her 18th birthday…..I got a nice room at a hotel in Reno and figured we could walk around and see everything (we were from a small town). My mom decided that we could take her car and we started the long drive.

About 3 hours into the drive I got rear ended on the free way..the car spun out side ways and the front driver side slammed into a ditch causing the car to comletely flip. I didn’t have a seat belt on and went out the back passenger window. I woke up…there was dust everywhere…I didn’t see her. I look back and see the car upside down and tires still spinning. I ran over and crawled back into the car and tried to get her to wake up. There was blood and broken glass everywhere, I can still smell and taste the dust of the airbag and the blood in my mouth. She never moved….I layed there by her side until I passed out….I woke back up in the hospital with everyone around me. They kept having to push me down and tell me not to move. I had to find her I had to know she was ok. No one would answer me they told me to stay calm that I had fractured my skull and I needed to be still. They gave me a shot and I was out.

Four days later I woke up I could barely move. Thats when my parents came in and told me…she had died right then and there in the car. The first response team told my parents that I had been found inside the car holding her hand. I have prayed every night since then (3 years ago but it feels like yesterday) for god to give her back to me. To this day I know that it wasn’t my fault but I still can’t come to terms with it. I lost more than a girlfriend that day. I lost part of my own life along with her.

exp010713_

6. From Two Different Faiths

My boyfriend & I broke up over religion. We were in a relationship for 4 years and a couple of months ago, both his parents (who are Jewish), and my parents (who are Hindu), made us break up with each other because both families believed that there was no future for both of us.

His Jewish parents didn’t want a Hindu daughter- in- law and my parents felt the same about him. Although we had tried for the past 4 years to get our parents to accept the other, they never did, which always led to arguments.

We continue to remain friends now & it breaks my heart everytime I see him because I still love him immensely.

honeycomb29

7. His First Crush

When I started high school…I went from one private school to another across town. I didn’t know anyone, and was pretty alone. Didn’t have any friends, and I wasn’t making any fast.

Anyhow, I walked into my home room class, and saw this absolutely stunning girl across the room. She had this auburn hair that was impossible not to admire. The teacher started assigning seats, and sure enough…he puts her right next to me.

I was such an awkward kid, I had no hope that I would ever say more than a word to her. Homeroom was a 15 minute period of announcements and socializing, though. It took her all of 30 seconds to introduce herself to me.

Every day, I would look forward to that 15 minute period in which all I would do is sit and talk to this bright-eyed beauty. She was my first real “crush” I’d say..and it became pretty apparent that the feeling was mutual. Most days she would grab my hand as soon as I sat down and write some sort of flirty nonsense on it. I loved every second of it.

Before I knew it, the homecoming dance was approaching. I’d never been to a dance like that, certainly never asked a girl to a dance, but I made up my mind…I was going to take this girl. Every day, I’d walk into that short period of my day, determined I would ask her to the dance. And every day, I’d chicken out.

Then, one day, she asked me who I was going with. I said I didn’t know yet, and asked he who she was going with. She told me about some other guy who asked her that morning. I felt entirely defeated, but I figured it was a lesson learned…a mistake I would never make again.

But, that date she went on turned into another date, and then into a relationship. She ended up spending the rest of the year dating that guy.

The next year, my dad was laid off and I had to go off to public school. I did much better in that school, I found a group of friends the first day. I also had a few girls chasing after me, so I must have grown into myself a bit.

I still had a lot of friends in private school, and I went to the homecoming dance at that school the following year. She was there, and my heart stopped in its tracks when I saw her. She ran up to me, gave me a big hug…and we spent a good part of the night dancing together. She was single again, and came to the dance on her own as well. I wasn’t sure what to make of it, but I figured I would be sure to get her phone number or something, and maybe get together with her.

Toward the end of the night, though…she went to talk to some friends and I went with mine. I turned around, she was gone. No idea where.

A few weeks later, a friend of mine told me that she’d asked about me. But by then, one of the girls who was chasing me had caught me, and I’d be in that relationship for a solid two years.

Three years later…I’m single again and in college.

I’m driving down the freeway in a snowstorm with a friend, and a car spins out in front of me, flipping into the ditch. I stop to go see if the driver is OK and call for help. As I walk up to the car, I see that bright auburn hair that stopped my heart four years earlier, draped over the steering wheel.

Sure enough, it was her. I know that since this is a “heartbreaking” thread, you’ve probably got an idea of where this is going…but don’t worry, you’re wrong. She came too as soon as I walked up, and it turned out she wasn’t hurt too bad. She had a concussion, and a few bumps and bruises, but altogether not in bad shape. I helped her out of her car and she came and sat with me in mine while we waited for the cops/ambulance to come. We talked a little bit, she was in a bit of a daze. Then, the ambulance showed up, the whisked her away and before I knew it, I was standing in the snow by myself, then telling a state trooper what happened.

I didn’t see her for another two years. The next time, it was in a grocery store. I saw her, and immediately noticed a gigantic diamond on her finger. For whatever reason, I didn’t say anything to her that time.

We’d run into each other maybe 4 or 5 years later, both of us with babies in our arms.

Nothing ever happened between us, and I know it’s not as bad as it could be. It’s more of a story of what felt like fate constantly pushing two people together, and nature/circumstance pushing them apart.

And while I don’t regret where my life has gone, I’ll always wonder what would have happened if I would have mustered up the courage to ask her to that dance.

rugtoad

8. “As Perfect As Heartbreak Could Be”

We dated for over a year and were each other’s best friends, we completely understand each other, and we are still madly in love with each other, but it was best for us to break up because we weren’t in the same place. She’s 20 and wants to be married and have kids soon and I’m 21 and wanted to date her for a while and get married and have kids around age 30.

It was mutual and we both knew it was best for us so we decided on day to break up. On the last day of our relationship I decided to take her out on one last date night. We spent the entire date thinking back and talking about favorite times together, things we’ll miss about each other, how we’ve affected each other’s life in so many good ways. I bought her flowers, took her to a nice romantic restuarant with live music, and went to see The Hobbit through all of which we held hands. It was one of the most perfect, romantic, happy, and yet heartbreaking date we ever had.

At the end of the night, we said our goodbyes as we hugged and kissed passionately for one last time and went our seperate ways, never to see each other again. It was the hardest thing I’ve had to do to this date, but I wouldn’t want it to end any other way. It was as perfect as a heartbreak could be.

hamdalore510

9. Losing Any Chance

Developing a crippling mental illness in front of the girl I had a crush on over a period of about 4 years.

I went through 4 years of treatment at the local psychiatric clinic, various doses and flavours of anti-psychotic drugs, but due to a lack of an apparent “thought disorder” never received a diagnosis. That is to say I suffered and still do suffer auditory hallucinations and my inner monologue is not my own voice but the voices of others saying things to and about me but I was and am not “deceived” by it I guess is how I’d put it. It’s the difference between a person who sees aliens everywhere and believes that they are there and a person who sees aliens everywhere and knows he is hallucinating. It’s probably something like schizoaffective disorder.

It took me 3 years just to train myself not to react physically. When I say react physically I don’t mean talking to them I mean not bashing my skull and begging for it to end or having severe twitches because of immense frustration. It’s like being constantly tormented by something that you can’t ever avoid.

anonymickymouse

10. Losing Touch But Not Losing Love

Some years ago now back in school there was a beautiful, lovely and kind girl in the year above me who for some reason I don’t think I can ever fathom took a shine to me

We started hanging out a bit and talking a lot and I was infatuated with her, we ended up getting romantically involved. She was the first girl i ever really cared about, I lost my virginity to her and although the relationship eventually fizzled out we would still talk loads for some time after

Fast forward a year or two and we hadn’t spoken for a while. I come in from a nights drinking and decide to see what she was up to on Facebook

She’d died in a car crash because of a drunk driver the day before and i found out in a stupor at 2am on a Saturday and proceeded to bawl my eyes out till the morning.

As we hadn’t spoken for a while I thought it inappropriate to go to the funeral.

Still think about her sometimes but it’s a tough story to tell people so i just mainly keep it to myself

jb361

11. A Shattering Betrayal

I had a bit of a thing for this girl, lets call her Caitlin because that’s her name, for over a year back in school. I used to speak to her whenever I could, I’d help her with her English homework, sit next to her on the bus etc. The typical teenage romance crap.

Caitlin and I both had a liking for this local band who had made it relatively big, so, for her birthday I got two tickets to see them at a homecoming show as a way of asking her out. I put the tickets in her card and wrote some crap about looking forward to taking her.

Her birthday comes around, I give her the card, watch her open it, get a hug and a massive thank you etc, but that was about it. Meh, didn’t think too much of the lack of comments regarding the “asking out” part.

Concert day rolls around, I text her asking when she wants to get pick up. She doesn’t understand what I mean, tells me she’s already on her way there with *****.

Turns out she went with another guy, they started dating for a year or two.

MrAmsterdammit

12. Being Told This

“you deserve better.”

deleted

13. Too Late

Not asking her out, then after she moved away having her say “I loved you to.”

ImNotACreativeMan

14. Never Forgotten

I was 16 and had just gotten my license, was in a great relationship with a wonderful girl of the same age. Her name was Emily. We were on our way to the movies to catch a late show, when crossing through an intersection we were t-boned on the passenger side of the car. Her side of the car. She was killed instantly… And I survived… I still wonder how and why I survived. Why was she taken at such an early stage in life? I’ve moved on since then, but I’ve never forgotten her.

skipmadrid

15. An Unsettling Feeling

Met a girl at work. Not really interested in her, but she was cool. She was troubled a bit, but I didn’t know this. She gets my number, I get hers, she kinda blows me off. Never calls me, but we text a few times.

Anyway, she contacts me a month later, after I’d blown her off for Halloween, and she asked me if we could hang out b/c she’d been depressed lately. I said sure and thought this could be cool. She comes to my work to meet up with me and she’s talking guy problems. I’m like “wtf”, but I listen.

We get to my house, watch some movies. Hours later, we’re making out. We hook up, date for 2 years. I meet her friends, family, all that. However, along the way, she says she’s got this “unsettling” feeling. Not sure wtf, but w/e, I try talking about it, not much explanation. She doesn’t even really understand it. So I eventually propose, she doesn’t seem that excited, I come home one night, 3 months after our engagement, she and all her shit is fucking gone.

ibaOne

16. An Autumn Summer

A whole summer gives new meaning to life. You had few months of perfect, until the day he had to leave. I love you, I love you too, you cry, he drives away to the airport, and you know you'll see him again. It's autumn and the flamingos fly to another county too. 3500 miles away, but you talk every day. You miss him so much, it's pathetic, every evening you leave the light on, what if he comes, what if he'll knock at the door, what if… Winter's not too bad, and he begs "You have to come and see me", you trust him, and you say fuck it, why not! You buy a plane ticket from the little money you've got, pack your stuff, leave your job and tell your boss and friends "I'll be back".

They're all gobsmacked, but everyone else are the last thing you think about. The airport has new rules, no smoking; in the cafeteria you have a coffee and not one but few cigarettes before the flight. Plane's always late. 5 hours and you're there, finally embrace him so dearly. You feel you've waited so long for this, and yet you have a month to show him just how much you want to spend the rest of you life with him. He knows it. It's Christmas, it's New Years Eve, with his family, but you feel left out, because it's not your family, no matter how much they try to make you feel like home. The month's over, you tried, no actually you haven't, you didn't know what to do, neither did he. It's your last night together, and this time he holds you so tight and sais "Maybe I'm getting old, but I wish I could hold you like this forever". You're silent, your heart has found "home" finally.

Outside it is snowing and you haven't seen snow in years. At Heathrow busy, people, you cry, let's say goodbye, let's pretend we'll see each other again. On the plane you cry the entire flight. Back in Cyprus, it's warmer, you're broke, you spend the last money on the cheapest cigarettes, have one until someone's picking you up from the new rules non smoking airport. You're at home, but you don't want to ever spend one day here alone. You feel sick, you feel tired, lonely, depressed, you cry again so much you throw up. Finally sleep falls over you heavy. It's morning and it's brighter today. Welcome back but heartbroken, friends see the sadness in your eyes, you pretend everything's fine, get your job back, some money, you can't eat, you unpack, and every day's the same: work, home, cry, sleep, time forms a pattern and part of it is you writing like mad and writing and writing.

One day you get the phone call you've dreaded the day for it, at the other end someone's telling you "I'm giving up, I can't go on like this, it's too painful , I have to give up, you know the reasons", "but I love you"… well it doesn't matter anymore. And it's the day the whole world collapses, everything inside you turns inside out, upside down. You wish you die, but you're too confused and don't know how to do it, so you give up on that too. You're still sleeping alone in your home, you don't want to go there, but it's where you end up every night. In the dark the radio plays the same song as every other night, and whatever song it is, it's a love song and they're all about you two that used to be, but aren't anymore.

April, your birthday, presents, friends, everything, everyone. One thing missing, so you dial a number, a voice you love to hear and maybe for the last time. Stomach butterflies. You talk about small things and then you forget what you want to say and fall silent, just listen. Not words, but a voice. You're happy he's OK. Few tears and you hung up; the best present you got that day or any other day. So much to miss him yet somehow keep that special place in your heart for him.

redmagicwoman

17. It Wasn’t Me

Fell in love with a guy. In an attempt to get closer to him, we became best friends. I fell harder and harder in love with him. We shared everything; went on trips together, he taught me how to change the oil on my car, I introduced him to some great books/movies/music.

I watched him marry the girl of his dreams. It wasn’t me.

whengaysattack

18. Looking Back And Seeing How You Screwed It All Up

Knowing that it was my fault we split up.

A few years back, I was in a comfortable relationship with a girl we shall call C. Been together for over a year and a half, but then things started going wrong. I used to get really annoyed that she never came out, all she did was complain, and then get in a mood when I complained.

Eventually, enough became enough, and we split at the start of September 2007. It was at this point the truth started to become clear.

The reason she never came out, is that I never invited her out.

The reason she seemed to always complain, is because I rarely listened (something I still do now)

The reason she used to get upset when I complained, is that by the end it seemed to be all I did.

In short, it was my fault that the relationship ended.

About a month and a half previous to these events, my best friend had moved to live in my parents house with me, while we finished organising, and we waited for the house to be ready. During this time, my relationship with my girlfriend became very one-sided. I never made the effort to call her or text her anymore, we'd only see each other at most 2 times a week, when we only lived 10 minutes walk away from one another. My reasoning for this was that "I'm spending time with David, sorry." That was my answer almost every day, even when he wasn't there (Don't ask why, I still don't know).

I was under stress at the time, but it's no excuse (Was lining up to get my first house away from my parents)

At this time, an old internet friend of hers started to flirt with her again, it wasn't something that ever bothered me, he lived in America, and didn't stand a chance with her. However, there was one major difference between me and him. He was there for her, I wasn't. I only found out that they were talking again through a mutual friend who didn't want us to split.

When I heard, I decided to take a chance, and went up to her house with a bunch of flowers, to try to show that I could still be a good boyfriend. For that day, I was. However, the next day, things just went back to the way they were before.

We lasted just shy of another 3 weeks, which made things a little difficult as we were organising a panto together, which was uncomfortable for a while.

revolut1onname

19. Did She Get My Ring Or Her Own?

Hearing my enlisted fiance married someone else when he was supposed to be in the field for exercises. Insult to injury: His mother was the one to tell me when I called her about some wedding plans. He and I were friends for six years before we started dating, “best friends” according to him.

I have been told about his wife, who seems near prefect and she has posted about “I married my best friend.” They knew each other less than a month prior to the marriage. I always wonder if she has the ring he said was for me or did she get her own?

bluejeanprincess

20. She Was Once A Woman I Felt very passionate about

She went through what therapists later described as a “quarter life crisis” and experienced a psychotic break, tried to kill herself, spent some time in the hospital, went batshit crazy, refused treatment, won’t admit she is sick, parents won’t help, started exhibiting other manic / BPD behavior, compulsive eating, got all fat … I hung in there for a year, but there was an “incident” in front of … all my friends … where she ended up trashing our entire house, breaking anything made of glass, all the plates, my computer, her computer (which I paid for), injured the pets … man you name it.

I hung on for a year, I did my best. We begged her parents (mom was a social worker for fuck’s sake!) to help. Nothing worked. I failed. My best friend is out there, broken, sick, unhappy, experiencing the world through a veil of lunacy and dysfunction.

Hurts me to think about it. What a waste. Once she was a beautiful, smart, lovely woman whom I felt very passionate about.

deleted

21. It Could Have Ended Differently

My girlfriend and I had been together for two years. We lived together for a year, then I got a new job and moved 6 hours away for the second year. That definitely wasn’t good for our relationship, and we were fighting a lot towards the end. So, the last day I texted her (Monday), she told me she was going to a sorority event (she was pledging a pre-law sorority), so I said “Okay, have fun.” Her last response was “Thanks.”

The next day (Tuesday), no response from her when I asked how it went. I thought nothing of it, and even thought maybe they had taken her phone during the pledge process. However, her mom texted me that night and asked if I had heard from her, which didn’t sit right with me. The next morning, she didn’t show up to work, and that’s when I called the police. It was only then that I found out that she didn’t come home Monday night as well as Tuesday night. I was at work that day, and I couldn’t focus at all. I had no idea what had happened to her or where she was. Her phone was dead, and the police couldn’t trace it (they could only trace the last cell tower she was near).

I felt so helpless being six hours away. I was in constant contact with her mom and sister. They were putting up fliers, I was putting up pleas for help on Facebook, Twitter, etc. The next day, I didn’t go to work and spent the whole day on the phone with family, friends, police, anyone that I could think of. Everything went through my head. She was kidnapped, she was in a car accident. Everything but suicide.

Finally, I get a call from her sister Thursday night. They found her in her car two towns over in the middle of a field, and she had lit a gas grill in the back of her car and died from carbon monoxide poisoning. I was all alone hearing this news. I called my parents, and they couldn’t even understand me. This was the worst night of my life. I flew home the next morning and stayed there until the funeral.

Now, the story doesn’t end there. As soon as I get home, my dad tells me that he heard from the officer he talked to that my girlfriend was sleeping with someone I thought was my friend. I had no idea what to feel. Sadness, anger, disappointment? I felt like I still couldn’t be mad at her. I even called the guy, and I told him that there’s nothing I could say to make him feel any worse than he already does. He had a fiance, and she had already moved out.

I think the fact that my girlfriend knew she could never actually be with him was the last straw for her. But here’s the worst part. SHE TOLD HIM WHAT SHE WAS GOING TO DO THE DAY BEFORE SHE DID IT. We got her cell phone back, and read through their last messages, and she told him. She didn’t say where or when, but he still didn’t tell anyone. He basically said nice knowing you. I called him back, and he said he was “too drunk” to remember. Meanwhile, he had just driven home. I told him to not come to the funeral, because I didn’t know what my friends or family would do if they saw him. I haven’t heard from him since.

That was 13 months ago. I have a great group of friends and family that have been so supportive over the past year. I still talk to her mom weekly, and I still think about her every day. There are still some tough days, but I feel like having a daily routine has helped me get to a better place than I was at.

FJRRulz

22. I Loved Everything About Her

My ex of 7 years left me, we had been best friends since she was 14 and I was 13, now her 26 and me 24. She met new friends, wanted to stay out late and I became the “suffocating, abusive” boyfriend that just wanted her to stop lying to me.

That’s seriously all I wanted, because she did. The day she left she hit me. She made plans to get a boob job, started dressing trashy and started hanging out with people at a restaurant/bar she used to work at. She left me, her stuff, our animals, everything.

That’s not sad, that’s typical bitchy girl stuff. Here’s what got me in the feels:

So I’m going through my stuff. Not her stuff, I had packed up her stuff for her. I come across a box with some VHS tapes, and as I go through it, I come across one labeled “Missouri 95/Oregon 96”. I know exactly what it is, it’s a family movie her family made years ago. I asked to see her when she was a kid, and she contacted them to send it over. What I didn’t explain is that my ex had a fucked up childhood, and has ran from literally every familial relationship in her life, so contacting them was a big deal.

I remember being so anxious about watching it: I never liked her family. But then I remember watching the video, and it panning to her, this beautiful little quiet tomboy, skin so dark from a summer tan, reddish-brunette hair and the most adorable smile I’d ever seen. That was Oregon. In Missouri (she was 10, summer of 96), she was a pretty little girl, still tan, sitting eagerly for a birthday dress being made by her grandmother. She was beautiful in a way I could never describe: so quiet and reserved, but sweet, curious, genuine.

These are just the memories of me watching it. I remember watching it and falling for her in a way I never could have considered. I now loved everything about this girl’s life, I realized it then, when I looked at her in that video.

I don’t know what broke my heart more, the fact that my ex left that tape without even considering or remembering its existence, or the idea that I was so bad, that she’d rather lose the tape and part of her childhood if it meant getting rid of me completely. I’ve considered sending it to her, but I don’t have her address or new phone number, because she refused to give them to me.

I’m getting over her, just not the shit she put my through, and I don’t think I can ever trust anyone again.

ThrowawayTrainGuy

23. He Thought Only Of Her

Fell for one girl that lived in another city. Chatted and used cam every day and she knew my feelings towards her and I thought she had the same. Visited her as often as I could. This was going on for 6-7 months. One day she came home from a trip and told me that she fell for another guy and that she is sorry. I felt horrible but tried to show her that everything is alright. Talked to her about him and I even talked to him about her. Told her that she needs to tell him her feelings and to get out with him and do stuff. They both got together after i talked with her for nearly 4 weeks. It really hurt… But he lived near her and he could be there for her every day.

I talked to her for 3 more months and she told me how fine everything is and how sweet he is… At some point it hurt so horribly that i cut the contact to her. I told her what was going on in my head and stopped everything.

Never talked to her again. Still sad for me to think back. Even after 5 years.

libPhoto

24. My First In Every Possible Way

I’ve always been a…passionate person. This is a nice way of saying I am emotionally retarded and unable to aim or work my feelings in any proper sort of way. I had spent my entire romantic life leading up towards my Sophomore year of High School desperate for love, male or female. I had (and still have) some serious issues.

Then I meet Shannon. Shannon is a thick, beautiful, amazing, broken girl, and we identify on so many levels. Where I spent the years before longing for any chance at love, she took every chance. Her list of ex’s, male and female, was more vast then than mine is even now, 8 years later. She filled her loneliness with sex and hope and I just identified with her longing so much. We were best friends for a long while, but eventually I was emboldened in a way I never would be again. I became forward and she was very accommodating.

Shannon was my first in every possible way. Sexually, emotionally, just everything. She made me a better person, but she couldn’t fix me. I was so insecure, so broken, so afraid of losing this incredible, amazing thing, and after two and a half years of just struggling and trying and failing, it all fell apart. We were toxic for each other, and everyone seemed to know it. Both of our sets of parents refused to allow us to be together, so there was almost entirely sneaking around. School ended, she went off to college and I didn’t, and I was left behind.

Today, Shannon is a lesbian, and I’ve been living life as a gay male ever since. I can’t form any kind of meaningful relationship. Everything I do I compare to her and it’s just terrible. I’ve dedicated my entire life to just loving myself, so maybe some day I can be less broken for someone else, but I really don’t believe it’s possible. I live in her shadow, and I’m sure she never even thinks of me anymore.

Shannon, wherever you are, I still love you so very, very much.

Mmmslash

25. She Didn’t Give Me Butterflies, She Gave Me Pterodactyls

My Freshman year of high school. (I hate telling this story but I didn’t go to work today so I might as well tell it) It was the middle of June, I was at my best friend’s graduation party. All of his family was there, a bunch of people from school, and of course I am too. I’m shooting the shit with some of his uncles or whatever and I happened to glance away from the group, and a girl caught my eye. There were attractive girls there, but nothing like her. Making eye contact with her took my breath away. You know how people say they get butterflies? She didn’t give me butterflies, she gave me pterodactyls. I walked over to her and introduced myself. It turns out she’s my friends cousin, he walks over and does the whole “Oh I see you’ve met Jessica”.

All I’m interested in is her. We start talking and we don’t stop. At first a couple awkward minutes go by but then our conversation gets flowing. Hours pass by in the blink of an eye and it’s time for her to leave. I get her number and text her. We talked until the next day that night, neither of us went to bed. A week later, we went on a date. And guess what I did. Classic Schmoesby. I told her I loved her. She said she loves me too. We hugged goodbye and we started talking more. A few days after our first date my band was playing a set at a local cafe, she came out and had a good time.

This became a regular thing, I would pull her on stage and serenade her and she would smile and cry and whatever. Then softball started for her, and I went to her games and cheered for her team. This went on for the 2 best months of my life.

Then it happened. My band was playing a set on a Wednesday night. She couldn’t make it because her sister had to work and her parents didn’t want to drive her (She lived 20-30 minutes away) I didn’t mind, it was just whatever. Well, She just told me she couldn’t make it to surprise me. We’re in the middle of a song and the stage manager runs up on stage and hands me a phone. We stop playing and he says “Dude. Emergency” I’m pretty pissed off until I take the phone.

It’s her mother. They were at a red light, the light turned green, and a semi T-boned them on the passenger side. Jessica took most of the impact and is being flown to a hospital ~45 minutes away. I’m bawling my eyes out and I don’t know what to say. The stage manager and I hop in his car and rush to the hospital. When we get there, she’s in surgery. I pace around the waiting room while we wait. an hour goes by then a few more.

Nine hours after we got there, she’s out of surgery and for the most part stable. I go and sit in her room by her side. All of her family’s there with me, nobody is saying a word. I grab her hand and I take a knee and start praying. I’ve never been really religious but her family was and I respected that.

For the next 48 hours I sat by her side holding her hand, feeling her gentle heartbeat struggle to hold on. She moves a little bit and makes a little bit of noise…she’s conscious. I can’t help but smile and tear up at the same time. She starts to tear up too. What came out of her mouth next are words I’m never going to forget. “Garrett, I love you. But I don’t know if I can do this.” My heart dropped, I knew she wanted to let go but I never want to lose her ever. I can’t believe what I’m about to say. “I love you too. And no matter what happens here, you’ll always be with me. Forever and always.”

Now we’re both bawling uncontrollably. I kissed her one last time and held her hand for another 22 hours. Every moment of which is burned into my memory. Listening to her suffer is one of the worst thoughts I could imagine, I still have nightmares about it 6 years later. Needless to say, she passed away. Since then, I have dated other girls but none of them have been able to live up to where she set the bar.

MilkshakeG

26. Her Last Words Still Haunt Me

I was 18 and I met Sandra who I think was my soul mate. I’ve never felt so connected to anyone before or since. We dated for over 2 1/2 years, and during that time we laughed and loved and cried together. When I think back about the best times of my life I usually think about those days.

But I was an arrogant ass and when things got a little stagnant I dumped her and began dating another girl. The new girl and I dated for a couple of months but during that time Sandra and I still got together. The day after Christmas I went for a coffee with Sandra and we confessed to each other how much we still loved and missed one another. We discussed marriage. She forgave my arrogance and said we could work on our relationship. It was amazing of her. I promised to call her the next day. On the 27th I tried calling all day but got no answer. I must have called 30 or 40 times that day. I worked night shift and when I got to work I tried calling again. At 1am I finally got hold of her. She was panting and sounded odd, and she told me to “fuck off and stop calling me, I’m sick”. She then hung up on me. I called back and her mother picked up and her mother also told me to stop phoning. She died at 2:58 am of meningococcal meningitis. I cried for 3 days non stop after that happened. I am 40 now and I still think of her every single day.

I’m glad I called because I think my phone call is what got her mother out of bed to be with her. The worst thing about it is that the last words I remember her saying to me were to fuck off.

lookingbacksucks

27. He Was Living A Double Life

My boyfriend and I who were together for just over 2 years (we are gay, and we were young, so that’s a lifetime!)

We got together when I had come out of an abusive relationship, so this guy, let’s call him Dave, really supported me and helped me get my shit together. He was the first and last person I ever felt “I love this guy so much!”

About a year and a half in, he started modelling for extra cash, which is fair enough.

Everything was perfect, we had such a good relationship.

To cut a long story short, eventually he confessed that he cheated on me probably about…five times throughout the relationship. Then, one evening, a friend linked me to a Gay Porn site with the words, “You should see this…”

I clicked, and lo and behold, Dave’s modeling was actually porn. I had no idea. I can’t describe the feelings when I saw that website, I went light-headed as though I was going to faint. I numbly just walked out of the house and went to a pub, phoning a close friend with “Drinks, now.”

So yeah, that sucked. I genuinely thought he was “the one” and I even had considered proposing to him (ah, the folly of youth.)

To add insult to injury, he was really supportive of me when I spent time in a Psych Ward, when a lot of people had turned their back against me because of it. It was a pretty heavy mind-fuck…to be with someone so supportive and caring whilst…being like that behind my back.

deleted TC mark

10 Signs You’re An Extroverted Introvert With Anxiety Issues

Posted: 18 Nov 2016 04:00 PM PST

Pexels
Pexels

1.

The world will try to convince you that the shy voice in your mind is nothing but a delusion because of your infrequent break downs, because, with a voice this bold and opinions this strong, you cannot struggle with articulation.

The world will tell you that they envy how easily your skin and bones can merge with a crowd and yet your thoughts stand out, they will tell you that they have never seen anyone be so "chill" and spontaneous, so unafraid of opinions and side talk that for a moment you want to believe all of this.

Their words sound so convincing that for once you WILL believe that you were born for the spotlight even though your frame is always lurking in the shadows, so scared and so afraid.

2.

You're the loner surrounded by friends, each of whom know funny excerpts from your life like how you played with your Barbie Tea Set until you were 15 and how you sold your father's Ray Bans for 250 Rupees at a fair you organized with your sister.

But they will never hear about the time you stayed awake until 5 am listening to The Cinematic Orchestra drowning in the loneliness that follows you around like a shadow on cold nights. They will never know that your biggest inhibition is initiating conversations, how you shut your eyes every time someone opens your Facebook news feed, because it spirals you into anxiety just seeing how happy people are, genuinely happy.

They might not even notice how you sit on the side during dinner and stare at your plate of food with a half lost appetite, because the NOISE of laughter slowly starts to drive you insane. They will never hear the silence of your deafening thoughts as inadequacy rings through your mind.

They will never hear any of this, primarily because the extrovert in you cannot handle this much emotion. Come on. you wonder, as you snap out of your thoughts, "Where the fuck is my chill?"

3.

Social gatherings and parties are your worst nightmares, yet your escape from boredom. The social side of you experiences an adrenaline rush every time the shy, dimpled guy comes up to speak about Indie Folk with you. But the reserved part of you shies away from this, giggles interspersed with forced smiles, while secretly hoping that he will leave so you can go back to enjoying your solitude.

This conundrum — what you should do and what you want to do is enough to leave you jaded whilst you silently curse the next person who comes up to discuss poetry and drunken adventures with you.

4.

The world will try to understand the dynamics of your mind. But the world never will.

5.

Your "this is why I have no friends," and "I am going to be single forever" jokes are not concealing your image insecurities, loneliness, and your lack of self-love. Someday someone will notice the realization that settles on your face every time you shut your lips after making one of these. You will never make it too obvious, but remember, it always will be.

6.

The clearest thing you will be able to see is that people REALLY are blind. They will not see through you. What you are and what the world sees are two different people coexisting within the same frame.

7.

You are the most "chill" lover the world has ever come across. Your words are laced with confidence and inklings of indifference as you speak about your cruel intentions with a grace that would make Ryan Phillippe blush. Little do they know that you're like Reese Witherspoon, who hides behind pages of journal entries and listens to his favorite songs on repeat even though reggae never interested you.

I know you want to talk to him about how, if you could, you would never let him leave from the warmth of your arms, how you want to hold him close and read poetry out to him, each word unraveling a story your lips have hushed in moments of inhibitions. I know you want to tell him that he is the only bible your infidel heart accepts, however you're too much of a vagabond.

"Homes" have always terrified you. Permanence terrifies you. I know you want to tell him that the only reason you answer his texts instantly is because his contact is the only one with customized notifications enabled. I know you want to tell him that even though you believe in being selfish, his needs are the only ones you would ever place above yours.

But you? Nah. You're the "chill" girl. So you wrap your words in presents and address them to the void in your stomach every time you speak to him using hollow words and causal promises.

You were not made for this anyway.

8.

You do not hate people. You do not hate people. You do not hate people. They just terrify you. They always have. The words they say, throwing them around like used, chewed gum, stick to the sole of your feet only creating a mess you now need to get yourself out of.

It's your fault. You should have watched your step.

9.

Your panic attacks are real. Your anxiety because of an influx of messages is real. Anxiety can be paralyzing. Just because you do not stay quiet through heated debates and speak about your day with people you do not know, does not mean that you are not hiding behind yourself.

You've just mastered the art of pretense and social interaction.

Your problems are real. THIS is real. This is happening. You are here.

10.

You feel like both the problem and the solution. You want to be you, genuinely, be you, or at least the person people perceive you to be. Perhaps if you were, this wouldn't be a problem.

You are so tired of being yourself and still feeling like you're hiding in the skin of a body you never belonged in, like your actions are defiant and sometimes so foreign that you can hardly believe in the reality of yourself. You're always struggling between who you are and who you can be.

Perhaps, you are the person you think you can be.

Perhaps, we are part-time living the lives of people we were never meant to be.

But darling, I know that your thoughts will make sense one day, and I goddamn hope you're brave enough to believe in them. TC mark

Here’s What Triggers Overeating (And What You Can Do To Break The Cycle)

Posted: 18 Nov 2016 03:30 PM PST

Thought Catalog Tumblr
Thought Catalog Tumblr

If you've ever accidentally finished a whole bag of chips when you only meant to have one or two, you're probably quite familiar with overeating. Maybe you were absent-mindedly snacking while in the middle of a good movie, or you were served too much at a restaurant and felt like you had to finish it. Either way, there might be a reason why you felt powerless to resist.

You might be surprised to learn there are deeper reasons as to why we overeat. While it's easy to feel guilty and blame yourself for giving in, it's important to consider why it's not just hunger driving you to snack. Today I'm going to talk about some of the reasons for overeating and how you can avoid it.

What pushes us to overeat?

It's not lack of willpower. Yes, there are ways to break the cycle of overeating, but the reason we sometimes eat more than we intended has a lot more to do with chemistry than our ability to say no to those cookies.

When you eat food with sugar, fat or salt, your brain records a unique feeling of pleasure. This can trigger it to release the "happy chemicals", dopamine and serotonin – a combination that can leave us feeling amazing. As our own in-built "reward system", this chemical reaction can cause us to keep chasing that good feeling.

Because we feel rewarded after these foods, that craving is reinforced. This is why we always want another biscuit, even when we're not hungry. Our brains are so sophisticated, they associate particular cues with achieving the reward as well, leading you to crave a particular treat. That sudden craving for something sweet as you walk past a bakery is response to both a physiological urge and to the environment.

Why do we crave 'junk' food?

The high levels of sugar, fat and salt in processed foods can kick our brain into overdrive producing those "feel-good" chemicals.

Our brain learns that foods with sugar and fat can give us a bigger "reward" than eating veggies. We may begin to focus on the fact that eating those foods gave us a moment of pleasure, which drives us to reward ourselves again. The desire for that reward can become more important than sticking to a healthy eating plan.

Overeating junk food or highly processed foods can become a cycle. The more we eat the foods that feel like a reward, the more we crave them. That's why when you stop eating junk food, after a while it becomes easier to resist.

How your surroundings can increase overeating.

The way food is marketed to us is almost a science of its own! Generally, the most indulgent foods are full of bad fats, salt and sugar. These additives are cheap to produce, leaving more money to use on marketing.

All those fancy marketing words are often there just to appeal to our emotions — letting us believe we deserve a treat because our lives are so busy or as stress relief. Of course, I'm not saying you can't have the occasional treat every now and then. I'm simply recommending that you enjoy them in moderation.

What can we do to break the overeating cycle?

While there's no way to completely stop our brain from chasing that feeling that comes from foods high in sugar, fat or salt (this is a completely natural process, after all!), there are ways you can slow the urge to overeat.

Overeating is a complex matter, so it's important to acknowledge you may not be able to kick the habit straight away. It takes patience and a change in mindset to help you break the cycle.

You may be able to reduce overeating by:

  • Learning to recognise your triggers — do you overeat while in front of the TV? When stressed? Understanding what triggers the desire can help you address and avoid it.
  • Reduce your exposure to cues. For example, take the confectionery-free checkout at the supermarket, as it reduces the chance of buying a chocolate bar on impulse.
  • Empower yourself by retraining your brain to think of how you feel after overeating. Eating a handful of cookies won't help you feel less stressed or tired, instead you're more likely to feel guilty or even sick.
  • When the desire hits, try to distract yourself with another activity or simply say no. The urge to binge may pass in just a few minutes.
  • Find other ways to provide that feeling of reward that you're chasing. For example, exercise releases endorphins as well!

It can get easier to break overeating patterns once you know when it happens and how you can avoid it. In order to make a positive change, you need to stop feeling guilty for overdoing it in the past and focus on being mindful in the future. While you might have been frustrated with yourself in the past for giving in, know that you can take control of the situation.

Now that you have an understanding of why overeating happens, hopefully you are better equipped to make healthier choices for your body. TC mark

11 People Share The Greatest Heartbreak They’ve Experienced In Their Entire Life

Posted: 18 Nov 2016 03:00 PM PST

Flickr / chelsom
Flickr / chelsom

1.

My wife was diagnosed with terminal brain cancer 5 weeks before our 1st wedding anniversary. That wasn’t the greatest heartbreak.

She went through 5 surgeries, 6 rounds of radiation, and 3 years of constant chemo. I had to be her rock and be strong for her every day of those 3 years. I had to be brave and tell her that we were going to kick cancer’s ass, even though I was dying inside. That wasn’t the greatest heartbreak either.

She died on July 1st (3 weeks before my bday) and we buried her on the 4th of July. Neither of those were the greatest heartbreak either.

The greatest heartbreak was sitting with her every night the three weeks or so leading up to her death, holding her hand, talking to her, and knowing that she had no idea who I was, where she was, or what was happening to her. That’s what hurt the most. I lost her well before she died.

— redditdrunkeditsober

2.

I was married to my first wife for twenty years. We started having issues in our marriage that every couple has, I suspect. Then one day, she goes to her gynecologist. She calls me in tears… She has cancer. For two years, I stood beside her, shaved my head when she lost her hair to chemo, held her hand while the doctors pumped poison into a cath-port in her chest. The most heartbreaking day? It was the evening when she and I sat at the kitchen table with our youngest. I had to tell her that mommy was going to die. She was twelve. That’s an age when a little girl needs her mommy. And mommy wasn’t going to be there. All she had was me, and as a father, I’m okay. As a mom, I’m piss-poor. I tried everything I could to console her, but how can you console a little girl when you’re the asshole who just told her mommy’s going to die and no amount of begging or bargaining with God or whomever can change it. Her mother died August 31, 2013 at the age of 42. Too young.

Three months later, my mom died of undiagnosed cancer and finished destroying me and my daughter.

— thehumanscott

3.

Was dating this girl who i gave my whole heart to. Found out she cheated on me. When I asked her why she said it was none of my business. Never got a reason. She never talked to me about it ever.

— ScubaNoname643

4.

It was 2008. I was 21. My pregnant girlfriend died in a head on collision a month before she was due/our anniversary.

— KaleyCuocosFeet

5.

The second relationship I was in went on for three years, and basically ended with her moving to Europe. It was rough, but we left on good terms, and it had to be done. For a while after that, I just didn’t want a relationship. In fact I dodged it like the plague.

Just recently had a girl who is an absolute 10 start talking to me after a while. We had hooked up once before but nothing serious, she starts talking about being in a relationship, and like an idiot I agreed.

After three months of talking everyday, hanging out on weekends (she lives an hour away at her college) I come up to visit and find out she pulled the exact same shit to two of my closest friends. Fed them the same bullshit, fucked both them, and carried on business as usual.

While it wasn’t like we were a thing for very long, its honestly crushed me. I feel completely emasculated and used, and it only adds to this feeling that Ill be alone in a new city forever. I know its not the case, but I think about it daily and it fucking sucks.

— forumdestroyer156

6.

My dad died when I was 4, I never knew him. My mother raised my older sister and I as a single parent but slowly slipped into alcoholism. The more she drank the less responsibility she wanted. She threw me out onto the streets when I was 15. I haven’t spoken to her since then, I’m nearly 30 now. She is alive somewhere drinking herself to an early grave and I can’t do anything to fix it.

— SixReasons

7.

My BF neglects my needs, but tells me he loves me, wants me in his life, wants a future with me, etc. All the buzzwords/phrases I want to hear. The actions do not match the words however, and it hurts so much to feel so alone in a relationship.

I want to do nice things for him, but stopped going out of my way to be caring and special towards him since it wasn’t reciprocated. I want to cuddle and be told that I’m beautiful. He doesn’t do either anymore. He has me hanging on to the “guarantee” that things will get better once he has his needs met (getting more alone time, less stress, etc).

I’ve been cheated on and gone through other heartbreaks, but this is by far the worst; feeling absolutely alone, needy and powerless in a relationship with someone who is selfish and misleading.

— girrrlll

8.

My grandfather died alone, by himself, no family or friends around him. Breaks my heart every time I think about him.

— Boopadoopeedo

9.

Had to bury a cat yesterday. My wife feeds the local herd so they’ve started getting attached to us, bringing us their kittens, hanging out on porch, and greeting me when I come home. So though I wouldn’t consider them “ours” I still feel responsible for and connected to them.

Some assholes tear up our street as fast as they can and my wife got home yesterday to find one of the girls in the middle of the road, so I buried her beneath her favorite climbing tree. She’s the third cat from that herd that I’ve had to bury, I’m not sure how many more graves I can dig.

Thankfully the local rescue has started a TNR program, so hopefully the herd won’t be getting any larger.

— Twin_Brother_Me

10.

I could go with how my dad died. I could go with why I’m living 600 miles from my family, all the crap with my one ex. Maybe go with pet deaths, including a young me seeing some brodozer speed up and swerve just to hit my cat.

But the number one was when my friend’s daughter said “I wish you were my daddy.” I love the kids dearly and it’s apparent they love me. I can’t provide anything more than friendship to them, and their mom is currently getting them wrapped up in her stuff.

So the best I can do is just be a good role model whenever I am around. And if I am still over late enough, I carry the little girl to bed and tuck her in. They already have two men they call dad and both are deadbeats who aren’t around. I grew up without a dad too, I know the feeling.

— illogictc

11.

developed feelings for a friend and after a year of trying to bury it, I swallowed my pride and asked her out (felt pressured to do it because I was leaving the country)

She said, “no, but we can still be friends”

We continued to hang out for a couple weeks, and had a nice talk the night before my flight left.

It was the last time I ever saw or heard from her directly.

Those first few weeks of confusion and sadness really tore through me. What’s worse though, is the feeling of no resolution towards our friendship. It was the most abrupt cut off I’ve ever experienced.

Also the sinking feeling that she probably hates my guts doesn’t make my day sunnier either…..

— Accardi_Don TC mark