Thought Catalog


Here’s What We Can Expect From Nick Viall’s Upcoming Season Of ‘The Bachelor’

Posted: 19 Nov 2016 06:31 PM PST

The fist sneak peek of Nick Viall’s season of The Bachelor just dropped, and it looks ~*~JUICY~*~. ABC still hasn’t released the names, photos, and bios of the women who will be competing when the show premieres January 2, but we can make some predictable guesses from this new footage:

ABC is going to whore out Nick’s jacked-up Crossfit body

ABC's The Bachelor
ABC’s The Bachelor

Not that anyone’s complaining.

Chris Harrison will remind us over and over that Nick has had his heart broken by Andi

ABC's The Bachelor
ABC’s The Bachelor

And Kaitlyn

ABC's The Bachelor
ABC’s The Bachelor

And Jen Saviano (technically he broke up with her, but whatever)

ABC's The Bachelor
ABC’s The Bachelor

Last summer Nick appeared on his third Bachelor Nation show (yes, that makes this season his FOURTH) to woo Jen Saviano on Bachelor in Paradise. He dumped near a beautiful beach-side gazebo. He was then named this season’s Bachelor.

The twins will make an appearance — because you know they will

Nick Viall Instagram
Nick Viall Instagram

And…. lots and lots and lots of tears and roses and champagne and helicopter dates and — if we’re lucky — hot tubs. You can watch the full video here.

Meanwhile life has gone back to normal for cowboy model Luke Pell

Luke Pell Instagram
Luke Pell Instagram

And medical sales rep model Chase McNary

Chase McNary Instagram
Chase McNary Instagram

Hmmm it’s almost as if they weren’t on the show for the right reasons. TC mark

25 Tiny (But Critical) Things You Need To Unlearn In Your Twenties

Posted: 19 Nov 2016 06:15 PM PST

unsplash.com
unsplash.com

1.

That your dream job will be easy and effortless.

2. 

That anxiety and/or depression are things you should be ashamed about.

3. 

Or that you can ‘fix’ your mental illness by simply ‘trying to be happier.’

4.

That relationships should be completely smooth, simple, and unchallenging every second of every day.

5.

Or that if someone’s treating you poorly in a relationship, that it’s somehow your job to stay and fix them.

6.

That there is an exact right time to get engaged, married, or to start a family.

7. 

That your friendships will always be as easy as they were in college.

8.

That success can only be measured by a corner office or an extremely high salary.

9. 

That being too busy for anything besides work is somehow admirable.

10.

That getting five hours of sleep every night is totally healthy.

11.

That it’s normal to be at a job that is stressful to the point of affecting your health.

12. 

That friendship is just about telling them what they want to hear, instead of what they need to hear.

13.

That you are supposed to explain and defend your choices and decisions to other people, instead of just doing what you know is right for you regardless of what other people have to say.

14. 

That failure is something to be ashamed about (when in reality, it’s something that you learn from and grow from).

15.

That making poor diet choices right now is fine because you’ll fix it ‘someday’ when you have more money or more time or more everything else.

16.

That any issue between you and your roommate will just ‘work itself out’ and that there’s no need to discuss it face-to-face.

17. 

That you have to stay friends with someone who only brings toxic energy into your life.

18.

That it’s too late to switch careers and go after what truly makes you feel alive.

19.

That putting yourself down is the only way to make other people feel more comfortable.

20.

That your education stops after college.

21.

That badmouthing others will make you feel better about yourself and your own failings.

22.

That you can’t make a difference as one single person.

23. 

That a kind word to a friend or even a stranger will have no effect on turning their day around.

24.

That you’re the only person in the world who feels crippling self-doubt, anxiety, insecurity, uncertainty, and every other uncomfortable and paralyzing feeling that comes with being a complicated human.

25.

That happiness can only be found with the attainment of things in the future, instead of just finding it right here, right now, no matter how far you are from what you think you need to be happy. TC mark

10 Post-Breakup Reminders You Need To Hear Right Now

Posted: 19 Nov 2016 05:15 PM PST

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unsplash.com

1. Put yourself first.

You resent him for wasting your time. You put everything you had into the relationship, so when it ended, you felt lost. If you gave yourself half of what you gave him, this breakup wouldn't have destroyed you the way that it did. Get your nails done. Make time for friends. Go to the gym. Eat right. Focus on your career.

2. Always trust your instincts.

It's like you have a 6th sense for infidelity. For a while before the truth came out, part of you knew he was sleeping with someone else. But you ignored it. Never asked the questions you were too afraid to have answers to. You thought that forgiving him would be easier than losing him, but you were dead wrong.

3. Know your worth.

Don't accept a half-ass love. It's okay to have expectations from your partner. It's okay to voice those expectations. If he doesn't call for three days, and that bothers you, say something. Don't try to play it cool. Be with someone who shows up for you. Choose someone who chooses you.

4. Don't blame yourself for his mistakes.

He didn't cheat because you were a bad girlfriend, he cheated because he's selfish. You don't need that shit. Don't waste time wondering what you could have done differently.

5. Don't ever think you weren't enough.

Okay, so he's dating someone new a week after you broke up. Maybe he never took a photo with you, and pictures of them together are circling your newsfeed. Maybe you never went on a real date and he's taking her to the upcoming Charity Formal. That doesn't make you inadequate, that makes him a dick. Some guys want the trophy. Others want a teammate, and you were the one he told all of his secrets to.

6. You can't be friends with someone who broke you.

You can't rewind the time you spent as lovers. Maybe you were really good friends before everything, but too much has happened to go back to that type of relationship. This is how things are now, broken. Give yourself space. Delete him off social media, hangout with non-mutual friends, avoid the grocery store on discount day when you know he'll be there. Cut all ties.

7. Healing takes many forms.

Maybe you cried on the phone for hours with your best friend. Maybe you got really drunk and made-out with a guy you never learned the name of. Maybe two. Maybe you went for a run in the rain. Maybe you stayed in alone on a Friday night binge watching Grey's Anatomy while eating copious amounts of junk food. Maybe you made a breakup playlist consisting of Dashboard Confessional and The Spill Canvas and Third Eye Blind. It's okay. Do what you need to do. Keep moving forward.

8. Don't let this define you.

Don't let him define you. Just because he doesn't appreciate all that you are doesn't mean that no one else does. Feeling like no one cares doesn't actually mean that no one cares.

9. Don't give up on all men.

I know you're cynical because your past relationships have all gone up in flames. Trust that not all men will hurt you. Try to understand why in the past you've attracted the type of man who doesn't treat you right. Ask yourself the hard questions. If you want someone who respects you, you have to respect you.

10. Forgive yourself.

Forgive yourself for staying when you knew you should have left. Forgive yourself for the times you sacrificed your self worth for the sake of the relationship. Forgive yourself for loving someone who can't love you back. TC mark

I Hope She Isn’t Like Me

Posted: 19 Nov 2016 04:15 PM PST

Vince Perraud
Vince Perraud

I hope she makes a good wife. I hope she cooks and makes you food. I hope she loves dogs and kids. I hope she takes good care of them. I hope you all have a happy family. I hope she gets along well with your parents. I hope she shares the same beliefs as them. I hope she makes a good daughter-in-law.

I hope she’s caring and concerned. I hope she accompanies you to the doctor. I hope she takes good care of you when you’re sick. I hope she visits you. I hope she takes the initiative. I hope she brightens your day and makes you feel better. I hope she has endless things to talk to you about. I hope she’s an extrovert like you. I hope she expresses her love to you openly. I hope she comes up with a cute nickname for you.

I hope she’s polite and isn’t rude. I hope she’s truthful and doesn’t keep anything from you. I hope she’s thankful and appreciates you, for who you are and whatever you do for her. I hope she doesn’t make you angry. I hope she accepts your bad temper and flaws.

I hope she tolerates you. I hope she's willing to eat whatever you crave for. I hope she suggests what to eat when you can’t think of anything. I hope she doesn’t enjoy horror movies like you and enjoys the same genre of movies as you. I hope she’s willing to watch them with you even if she doesn’t. I hope she doesn’t complain or bring these up during a fight. I hope she's willing to give in to you at all times.

I hope she enjoys doing anything and going anywhere with you, like working out at the gym. I hope she keeps herself fit. I hope she doesn’t put on weight. I hope she doesn’t get complacent in the relationship.

I hope she’s financially stable to be able to surprise you with gifts and food. I hope she gives you a simple yet memorable birthday celebration without spending a bomb. I hope she likes whatever gifts you get her and uses them. I hope she gets a sincere card from you for her birthday, which you didn’t forget about.

I hope she has the same interests as you. I hope she’s a gamer and joins in your card games. I hope she gets along well with all your friends. I hope her friends and even their mums like you. I hope her friends get along with you. I hope you all go out for double dates. I hope her friends don’t gossip about you.

I hope she doesn’t complain about you to her friends. I hope she doesn’t secretly tweet about you. I hope she doesn’t quarrel with you over the littlest things. I hope she doesn’t ignore you when you say something insensitive. I hope she doesn’t expect you to figure out what you did wrong yourself. I hope she’s direct enough to tell you about it.

I hope she doesn’t get anxious when you don’t reply her after hours like typical girlfriends do. I hope she has her ways of motivating you when you’re stressed out in whatever aspects of your life.

I hope she makes you a better person.

I hope she isn’t insecure. I hope she doesn’t mind you following hundreds of girls/models/etc on Instagram and liking their photos. I hope she’s confident about herself and her body. I hope she satisfies you. I hope she doesn’t constantly stalk and compare herself to your exes. I hope she knows her worth.

I hope she knows guys will always be guys. I hope she knows how to spice things up after your honeymoon period. I hope she doesn’t always think everything is fine and you will love her for whoever she is, like what you claim. I hope she’s a strong and optimistic woman. I hope she doesn’t cry easily. I hope she doesn’t overthink. I hope she doesn’t get treated the same way as me.

I hope you don’t break her heart. I hope your relationship won’t get monotonous. I hope your feelings for her won’t fade.

I hope she makes you happy. I hope she’s the one you marry. I hope she’s your forever. I hope she's different.

I hope she isn’t like me. TC mark

This Is What Triggers Someone’s Attraction To You, Based On Your Zodiac Sign

Posted: 19 Nov 2016 03:15 PM PST

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unsplash.com

Aries

(March 21st to April 19th)

Your unshakeable thirst for adventure and the sense that, if they ended up with you, they would never be bored.

Taurus

(April 20th to May 21st)

Your ability to make anyone feel like the most fascinating person in the room, and the aura you give off that makes people just want to tell you things they’ve never told anyone else.

Gemini

(May 22nd to June 21st)

The fact that nothing throws you off and that you can make yourself seem comfortable in any situation (even if you’re not).

Cancer

(June 22nd to July 22nd)

Your ability to read people and pick up on subtle hints about people’s moods and feelings that everyone else seems to miss.

Leo

(July 23rd to August 22nd)

Your tendency to think about things that no one else thinks about and that you’re warm to everyone you interact with.

Virgo

(August 23rd to September 22nd)

The fact that you’re a difficult nut to crack, that it’s impossible to ever know what you’re thinking, and that you’re not an open book, unlike most people in the world.

Libra

(September 23rd to October 22nd)

Your ability to make literally anyone laugh, even the grumpiest of grumps, and your ability to click with anyone in any situation.

Scorpio

(October 23rd to November 22nd)

Your magnetic energy and your refusal to give up on the things that you care about.

Sagittarius

(November 23rd to December 21st)

Your easy, pleasant laugh and your tendency to always look on the bright side of things.

Capricorn

(December 22nd to January 20th)

The fact that you can take on any task with seemingly minimal effort and little trepidation, and that you have a very surprising silly side that few people see.

Aquarius

(January 21st to February 18th)

Your authentic sense of originality, your loyalty to the people you care about, and the fact that people seem to trust you easily.

Pisces

(February 19th to March 20th)

Your expansive imagination, the sense that your mind is moving a million miles an hour, and your easy ability to sympathize with others. TC mark

I Think It’s Time To Admit I Don’t Want You

Posted: 19 Nov 2016 02:15 PM PST

Thomas Griesbeck
Thomas Griesbeck

It's so easy to go back to you because you still feel safe. You still feel safe because I've been there, I know what to expect. I know exactly how your joy will taste and I more than ever know how your everlasting bitterness will feel when it does eventually come back around. Yes, going back to you would be easy because I know I could deal with the hurt, the scars and the pain you would leave. I did it before didn't I? And it made me into a much better person. But that's the thing; I made me into a much better person. I made me into a person who is now far too strong to go back and let the same love bite me twice.

I know now you only want me because I no longer have any interest in you. It's only natural and I don't blame you for that. We all want what we can't have.

I know now you only want me because I am happy with someone else or by myself. And even though I am scared to death of being hurt by someone new, someone I probably don't even know yet, getting hurt by you would be just three steps backwards into a book I swore I closed forever.

I know now you only want me because you are bored and it's been a while since something grabbed your eye and yes. I'm an easy target. It would be easy; maybe it wouldn't hurt as much as a new love. I know it wouldn't. That's a fact, you can get stung twice and it can still hurt but not half as much when you know it is coming, and with you, I would always know it was coming.

I know now you only want me because you think I'm not strong enough to say no. It would be easy to go back but it would be weak, and I did not build myself up to become strong against you. Only to have you kick down those walls because of your change of mind. Yours, not mine.

I know now that you only want me because you think I'm scared of a new love. Yes, a new love is scary. A new person brings with them new emotions, perspectives and ideas. Everything could be different with them and that is why they are the scarier option.

I know now you only want me because you're scared yourself of blank pages, you were never much good at filling them with the right sentences and now you've lost your whole plot line.

I know now you only want me because you're sick of the adrenaline of uncertainty and I am a calm harbor for you to call home. I am not your home. I am an old habit and being human we are slow to change.

I know now you only want me because wouldn't it just be so interesting to see what happens, you're curious and that I understand. It's tempting, tempting to taste the same cake twice. And yes, I won't deny I am tempted.

But somehow not enough.

Because I know now you want me, but sweetie,

I know now, I don't want you. TC mark

This Time I’m Being The Carefree Girl

Posted: 19 Nov 2016 01:15 PM PST

Courtesy of Sabrina Must
Sabrina Must/@byrdphotography

I told myself to be carefree
to just have fun
to enjoy you because I could
because I wanted to
but I’m back at my place
minutes after we kissed goodbye on the street corner
and the taste of your mouth lingers
I can feel your hands wrapped around my neck and face
pulling me closer
hugging me tightly

saying this feels so amazing, thank you for my birthday present, you in particular, those cowboy boots are just so sexy
and those moments when you kiss my forehead and stare at me with longing
I want you to say it
say you like me
say you want more

don’t hold back cause you’re scared
but I told myself to be carefree
to just have fun
so I’m deleting your number so I don’t reach out until you text first
and I’m putting myself to bed to dream a sweet dream of you and your touch
so I can feel carefree instead of the longing for more
more
more

and then you text goodnight. TC mark

I Know I Don’t Need Anyone (But That Doesn’t Mean I Don’t Want Someone)

Posted: 19 Nov 2016 12:45 PM PST

thought.is
thought.is

I've never been like other girls. The girls who are so terrified of being alone, always in search of someone to fulfill them. It's like they can't stand the sound of their own thoughts and silence. Being still is like torture. So staying busy is the only way they can deal with it because it keeps them distracted from themselves, from their insecurities, and from the truth that they don't know who they are at all.

But that's never been me. I've never known what that kind of void feels like. I've never needed other people like those girls did in order to feel complete. I've always known myself. And I've always been happy, confident and content being alone. The sound of my silence was comforting to me. It's how I made sense of the world. And I was proud of that, to be so different than such thin-souled girls who were always too scared of themselves and what they might feel if they were alone for too long.

But I felt everything. I granted myself permission to. I never saw it as weak, depressing or selfish. Everyone needs to give in to themselves like that. It's what builds your character, makes you stronger. Was I happy to be alone all the time? No. But it wasn't something that would ever break me. Just because I didn't want to be alone didn't mean that I couldn't be alone.

I just think about it, sometimes. Of course while in the thick of my silence and stillness, drinking wine and playing songs. I think about what it would be like to have someone in my life. I've been alone for so long. I know myself so well.

And what I want now is to have someone.

I want someone who knows how I take my coffee. I want someone who knows that I will always want more wine. I want someone who isn't afraid of being quiet with me. I want someone's body to interrupt mine. I want someone to go places with, have their hand at my back, and know what my expressions mean. I want someone I can kiss for hours. I want someone to cook dinner for, wear lingerie for, and listen to. I want a partner in crime. I want someone to complain to when the day is awful, tell them I miss them, and make plans. I want someone I can introduce as mine. I want someone who can introduce me as theirs. I want someone to make fun of me. I want someone to laugh with until we're both crying. Someone to give advice to and know that they value what I have to say. I just want someone to make choices with.

And I don't want all those things just because I'd lose myself completely if I didn't have someone in my life. I could never lose myself like that just because I was alone. I just think about it, sometimes, and how nice it would be to have someone to share my life with.

Life's been strange lately, I guess. But I'll figure it out. I always do. That's just the realistic, steady core of me that I've always appreciated about myself. I guess sometimes I just want someone to look at me so hard with their hands around my face and their body pressed up all warm against mine and say:

"Shh. It's ok. I know you can deal with it. But you don't have to do it alone. I am here for you. I am yours. And I love all of you."

That's all I really want, these days. TC mark

This Is How You Heal From Your First Heartbreak

Posted: 19 Nov 2016 12:15 PM PST

Vince Perraud
Vince Perraud

Remember that person you were so in love with? The one that you vowed to never stop loving. The person who made you feel as though you were the only person in the world. They were your first love, your best friend and your partner for everything. But then as quickly as they came, they went. You were forced to pick up the pieces of your heart.

You were forced to learn how to live again without them.

So you spent weeks trying to get over them. You spent months pretending you were OK. Then one night, after a few too many drinks, you found yourself on their Facebook. You see them with their new love. You see them smile that very same smile they had with you. They look happy. They're life has continued on without you; a realization that hurts like hell.

There was a time when you couldn't live without each other. It was late nights. It was stupid fights. It was loving someone like you had never known before. It was putting someone else's needs ahead of your own. It was everything you had heard love was going to be. But it didn't last. It wasn't meant to last. They were meant to show you what love is so that the next time you do it, you know what it means to give your heart fully to someone.

It's not going to make sense to you if right now you still miss them so fully it hurts every time you hear their name. It's not going to seem like you'll ever be able to be open with someone else the way you were with them.

You're not going to be able to believe that love will someday again find you. It's going to be something that is meant for everyone else except you.

Sometimes those people circle back. Maybe it's a quick text to see how you're doing or an Instagram like. It's something that makes you wonder if they too are thinking about you. They're also nostalgic for the good times and it's naïve to think that nostalgia is one sided. It doesn't mean more than that which you figure out. The hurt then sets in for one more round even though you feel like your heart can't take anymore.

Then you meet someone new. It's going to hit you hard and fast. It's not going to be on your timeline. It might feel too soon. It might feel like it took forever. No matter what it's going to feel different.

It's almost like someone turned the lights on. You're going to finally understand why people write so much about love. You're going to understand why all of your friends told you not to give up. You can just feel it, really feel it, deep down in your bones. You know that it's something special, just for you, and you're so ready for it.

It's then that it's going to make sense. Why you had to say goodbye to someone you thought you truly loved in order to meet the one you actually do.

That's not to say you didn't love before, it's just going to be different.

This new person is going to scare the shit out of you. You have built this tall and impenetrable wall that no one was allowed to knock down but they did. A part of you wants to hate them. You want to hate them for making you feel things again. You want to hate them for making you scared of losing them. You're going to hate the fact that they have shaken your entire world that you had neatly put back together.

The new person isn't going to be perfect but you don't care. You don't care because all you care about is keeping them and they make damn sure you know they want to keep you too. You don't have to guess where their head is at because they tell you. You don't have to play all the games you had to before. It just feels right.

So when this happens. When you meet someone after heartbreak, it's going to all feel brand new again. It's going to make you remember those first time feelings and it's going to be better. You'll have no proof of forever but you'll have enough to know that this is worth the risk. So take the jump and don't look back. TC mark

I Love You, But I Have To Let You Go

Posted: 19 Nov 2016 11:45 AM PST

Christopher Campbell
Christopher Campbell

I used to think I had it all while I was with you, but today I realized I was never your priority while you were mine. It's okay, because I have self-respect and I deserve to be happy.

Today I decided I should let you go. I am happy that you're happy with her. Even though at times I feel like I could've treated you better, you're happy with her and that's all that matters. She might've been the best thing to happen to you, but you're the best thing to have happened to me. And I thank you.

Thank you for making me realize that I deserve so much more than the heartache that you never knew you caused. Thank you for all the memories that we've made together, and thank you for the comforting words you said when I had to cry.

There is no doubt that you're the greatest and kindest person I've ever met, and I have no regrets knowing an individual like you.

You're a gem, and there should be more of you in this world. I am not saying this just because of the feelings I never realized I had, but you are genuinely the nicest person I've known and I want you to know that.

I want you to also know that I'm always here for you on days when you can't sleep, or when you just need a friend. You'll always be my favorite person, and I will not want to forget an amazing person like you.

Know that I'll never stop loving you, but I have to move on and live my life.

I don't want to be held back being sad and unhappy while I see you smiling. I deserve to be happy and I know it is going to be hard but I am trying my hardest to not fall again. The road's a little steep but I know I can hold on. I deserve this self-respect that I've lost a long time ago, and it's finally time for me to find myself and be who I am.

Thank you, for everything. TC mark