Thought Catalog


30 ‘Slutty’ Things Every Woman Should Do Before Hitting 30

Posted: 03 Nov 2016 08:00 PM PDT

Brooke Shemaria
Brooke Shemaria

1. Orgasm in public. On a dance floor. In a bar bathroom. In your car. Anywhere outside of your own home.

2. Find the dirtiest erotica you can and read it in public (preferably on your Kindle). That way, you’ll be horny AF and will have to wait to get yourself off.

3. Give a blowjob when you shouldn’t. Like when he’s driving or when he’s on the phone with his boss.

4. Shave your pubic hair into a ridiculous design, like a heart.

5. Have a threesome–with two people that mean nothing to you. You don’t want any feelings involved or things might get messy.

6. Take an after sex selfie. Come on, you know you look sexy with your hair tousled.

7. Hook up with a complete stranger. Maybe that means sharing a few drunken kisses during a party or maybe that means going back to his apartment and banging with a ballgag stuffed in your mouth. Whatever you prefer.

8. Join Tinder. And actually meet up with someone from Tinder for a meaningless fling.

9. Get drunk and hit on someone you consider way out of your league.

10. Snap nude pictures. Take them with your own phone or get them done by a professional photographer.

11. Buy the most revealing lingerie you can find. Leather. Lace. Velvet. Whatever will make you feel the most beautiful.

12. Lather a guy up with lube and try anal.

13. Kiss another girl (or, if you’re a lesbian, try kissing a guy).

14. Travel to another country, so you can have sex with someone with an accent. Don’t forget to talk dirty the entire time.

15. Make a sex tape. And then delete it as soon as you watch it.

16. Orgasm more than five times in one day. Do it with a partner or by yourself. Either way, it’ll be worth it.

17. Visit a nude beach with a group of close friends.

18. Throw a passion party, where you invite all of your friends over to buy sex toys. It’s like a tupperware party on steroids.

19. Go to a club and see how many numbers you can get from hot guys. Hit on them before they have the chance to hit on you.

20. Go on a shopping spree at an adult store. Buy all the things you’ve dreamt about trying. Blindfolds. Handcuffs. Flavored lube. Dildos. You name it.

21. Sext while you’re at work.

22. Visit a strip club with your friends and get a lap dance from the sexiest guy there.

23. Have sex outdoors. In a park. On your college campus. In your own backyard. Anywhere without four walls and a roof.

24. Wear vibrating panties in public.

25. Play a game of strip poker with a large group of friends.

26. Masturbate in front of someone. And ask them to masturbate in front of you.

27. Write your own erotica and publish it on your blog.

28. Go skinnydipping.

29. Take a pole dancing class and then install a stripper pole in your bedroom to put on private performances.

30. Find the person you want to fuck for the rest of your life. TC mark

My Hometown And The Rise Of Donald J. Trump

Posted: 03 Nov 2016 07:15 PM PDT

Flickr / Gage Skidmore
Flickr / Gage Skidmore

A long cornfield separates the only two cities I have lived in my entire life.

The first, a sleepy suburb of Cincinnati. It is sprawling township nestled between an IKEA and popular amusement park Kings Island. Originally a farming community built around a gas station and Long John Silvers on the corner of Ohio interstate I-75, the town is now primarily populated with America’s upper middle class. The parents of my childhood friends were engineers, lawyers, doctors, mid-level corporate executives, and small buisness owners. Few new home constructions sell for under $300,000.

In my formative years, I had the impression that my family and I lived in a fairly large house. We had not only a living room, but also a “family room” in the basement. We had not two bathrooms, but three. We had a garage that my dad always planned to covert to an extra bedroom. We had a large window overlooking our large yard.

But as I grew older, a new world began rising around me. The expansive Dudley Farm which had for so long stretched the length of Tylersville Road was bulldozed for a shopping center. A stretch of street surrounded by ancient, lofty trees that we fondly referred to as the “tree tunnel” was sequestered in favor of a new subdivision. Property values skyrocketed as families moved in to take advantage of our exceptional school district (and then subsequently failed to vote for tax increases that would keep said distract afloat). What it meant to be “middle class” was rapidly changing, and not in a good way.

My mom has spent her entire life here — she lives in the same neighborhood she was born into — and each year the place becomes more foreign to what she remembers. The new neighborhoods that rise out of the dirt these days have fancy names like “The Blah Estates” or “The Acres at Whatever” or “Wetherington.” Our neighborhood doesn’t have a name, and it’s specifically neighborhoods like mine where the message of Donald Trump has caught fire.

When I talk to the parents of my friends who grew up in the fancy subdivisions with fancy names, they voted for John Kasich in the Ohio Primary and they balk at the notion of a President Donald J. Trump. Many of them are actually breaking a Republican voting streak and casting their lot with Hillary Clinton. Others are voting third party or writing in a name they find more suitable. And a few, of course, are holding their noses and voting for the Republican nominee — but not happily.

When you drive through the streets near my old house, you feel a radically different energy. “Trump / Pence” signs dot every other house. Giant homemade posters proclaiming, “Lock Her Up!!!” proudly stand nailed into the ground. Many boast unflattering pictures of Hillary Clinton behind bars. The passion for Trump’s message on these streets is insatiable, because the feeling of betrayal is universal.

Because — at the core of it — the message of Donald Trump is that someone has stolen something from you, and he’ll get it back.

During the 2008 economic collapse, my neighborhood was dotted with an endless display of foreclosure signs that match the “Trump / Pence” signs seen today. The pain of recession was felt by nearly everybody, but the relief of recovery was felt by only a few. The people without college degrees who lost their jobs never found good ones to replace it. My dad is one of many who now works far too hard for far too little money. It wasn’t the deal that the American dream promised them.

And, just a few miles away, in gated communities in the same township, many people have come out ahead. People who had college degrees, who had never laid brick or hauled freight in a warehouse. People who are perhaps perceived to have learned the rules of life in a classroom rather than in the “real world.” People who often put a priority on social issues (“who cares if men are allowed to make out with each other or not, I need a job!”) rather than the pains of the working man. For them, the crude comments of Donald Trump are undesirable and crass, but simply don’t hold a candle to the greatest swindle in our history: that there are families who live within a square mile of each other who got vastly inequitable outcomes to their American dream.

And to people for whom civil rights, and basic American liberties are not under attack or siege, there might not be a clear reason to not back Donald Trump. If you are white, male, heterosexual, cisgender, there is no obvious risk to backing a man who promises to retrieve the past and give it back to you in the present. Maybe they should know better, but maybe it’s hard to know better.

**

The second town is the seat of Ohio’s governance — the city of Columbus. I attended The Ohio State University for four years, and after graduation now still live in the city — sandwiched between my old college campus and the downtown area.

Columbus cringes at the notion of a Trump Presidency. Down every street there are Clinton / Kaine signs sticking out of tiny urban yards. For many here, the election is about values — and whether you have them or not. For a city that has been characterized as the gay Mecca of the midwest, boasts not only a diverse population — but one of refugees — this election isn’t about the issues. While perhaps some of the Franklin suburbs will show up for Trump, on November 8th our county as a whole will be colored bright ruby blue for the former Secretary of State.

It is easy to go an entire day here without encountering any supporters of Donald Trump. Sure, there are certainly some working class whites and boozed up frat boys who will cast their vote for the TV businessman, but they are hard to find. And so it becomes easy to characterize anybody who supports Trump as clueless, “uneducated,” or even evil. Maybe it’s too easy.

“Racist,” “Sexist,” “Homophobic,” “Transphobic,” among others, are words used daily to summarize Donald Trump’s supporters. But maybe we need to move beyond summary? Maybe casual summary and dismissal of “deplorables” are what cause them to become deplorable in the first place?

The left preaches tolerance, but it does not necessarily preach compassion.

**

As the polls have tightened over the past week, I have slowly been trying to get my mind prepared for the idea of Donald Trump ascending to the office of Washington, Roosevelt, and Lincoln. I’ve begun bracing myself for the gloating Twitter pepe trolls, the normalization of bigotry, and my right to marry get thrust back into public contention.

But I’ve also begun to consider the idea that perhaps the rise of Trump is not a result of our country being evil. Rather, it’s a result of having two radically different Americas in one whole.

One neighborhood is filled with people who attained a college degree, is more insulated from economic turbulence, benefits from globalization, and too often sees itself as intellectually superior. Then another neighborhood, filled with people who have worked just as hard, for just as long (or perhaps longer) but has seen their economic security melt below their feet.

And then some half-rate billionaire tells them that they’ve been had, and there are specific people they can blame. He tells them that the world is unraveling, and they believe him, because their world is unraveling — and nobody else seems to care. TC mark

This Wife Kept Getting Texts Looking For Hookers, So Her Husband Decides To Start Responding

Posted: 03 Nov 2016 07:00 PM PDT

via Imgur
via Imgur

There is nothing more annoying that someone who calls you with the wrong number. And like, mistakes happen and we all screw up dialing a phone number every now and then. But this woman kept getting calls and texts from people looking for hookers and escorts. It was funny at first, but eventually got SUPER annoying.

So, after a while, her husband decides to start responding to these unsolicited, unwanted texts — and it’s hilarious.

He gets this text message, and instead of ignoring it, decides the time is ripe to respond:

via Imgur
via Imgur

And then he sends a picture:

via Imgur
via Imgur

And then another:

via Imgur
via Imgur

And for some reason, he stops getting responses?

via Imgur
via Imgur

I wonder why??

Maybe the calls & texts will finally stop? Or maybe, as a commenter on Imgur suggested, the husband is destroying his wife’s secret escort company? TC mark

What Makes Someone A ‘Keeper’? 33 People Share The Little ‘Green Flags’ That Let You Know

Posted: 03 Nov 2016 06:00 PM PDT

@chantylove / Twenty20.com
@chantylove / Twenty20.com
Found on AskReddit.

1. When you miss them even after a few hours.

"You miss them. I miss my husband even when I know I’ll see him in a few hours. I just love being with him."

crazycatlady45


2. When they try to keep you warm on cold mornings.

"I was about to leave for a long trip one cold morning when she stopped me and gave me a scarf and a warm hat. She put it on me and made sure it looked right, gave me a nice smile, a kiss, and told me to stay warm. I still remember that moment fairly often, especially on cold mornings. It’s kind of a reminder when times get bad that somebody really loved you, at least for a little bit."

mynameisplurp


3. When they tell you they love you in the middle of a fight.

"My boyfriend and I were having a huge argument and he had to leave for work. He still came up to me, gave me a kiss and said 'I love you.' I gave him a weird look… he then said 'We’re fighting right now, but that doesn’t change how I feel about you.'

Big green flag right there."

mat145


4. When they pass you the crayon you need even though they were using it.

"When you’re coloring but you don’t have the color you need and she passes you the crayon even though she was in the middle of coloring with it."

SmashBusters


5. When you never dread seeing them.

"You never dread seeing them. If you want to hang out and do things with your SO that’s a for sure 'green flag.'"

sexualfannypack


6. When they see all problems as a team project.

"When you’re having a rough time with a situation and they say, 'Tell me what is on your mind so we can fix it.' No you, not I… we."

RedditsInBed2


7. When they give you the last bite.

"Willing to give you the last bite of anything."

USCplaya


8. When they never make you feel embarrassed that you’re with them.

"They never make you feel embarrassed when you’re with them. I’ve told my bf so many embarrassing stories about myself and I’ve asked so many stupid questions but he has never made me feel embarrassed OR stupid about these things at all."

jyuunbug


9. When they try to understand why you’re upset.

"Taking the time to (at least attempt) to understand what you’re feeling when you are upset. The ability to empathize with someone you are arguing with is a skill not many people have, and it is one to be treasured."

Lumi61210


10. When you can share honest opinions without worrying that they’ll get offended.

"When you can comfortably start a conversation knowing that the judgment of the other person won’t be petty or defensive. Just honest opinions shared."

JELLOSTAIN


11. When they show actual care about your well-being.

"IMO to me the biggest sign of 'green flags' that give me an indication that someone is a keeper as a friend or otherwise is by the way they reciprocate effort and show actual care about your well-being.

Relationships aren’t one-way streets. You shouldn’t expect someone to be your friend/partner if all you do is give and get nothing or nearly nothing back. That’s not* how real relationships work. If you want to receive you have to give. Period.

Real friends/partners will happily give you a slap on the face to set you straight or sit down and have that talk with you if that’s what needs to happen for you to realize your mistakes. I get it, none of us are perfect and we all make mistakes but I’ll be damned if I let one of my friends do something really stupid that they’ll regret for a long time."

deathaddict


12. When they give up their weekend to be with you while you’re sick.

"When I first met my wife I had to cancel one of our first dates because I was really sick with a sinus infection. I called her to tell her and she said 'hold on, I’ll be over in a little over an hour with the cure”. She showed up with homemade chicken noodle soup (that tasted like my grandmom used to make) and a copy of X-men First Class (which she knew I hadn’t seen yet). She spent the night by my side taking care of me. She gave up her weekend to be with me while I was sick. That was the moment I fell deeply in love."

trm382


13. When you can have a full conversation with just a look.

"This is going to sound odd, and it’s probably just my experience, but when your minds go to the same place at the same time, and you can have a full conversation with just a look… or one person thinks it and the other person says it. my husband (12 years together) and i have been doing that since the night we met.

when they make sure to actively show appreciation and don’t just get lackadasical. tags on facebook, random butt gropes as they go by, snuggles in the morning before you both have to get up… just little things that let you know they’re happy to be around you."

kaett


14. When they follow through on promises.

"Instead of playing games, they follow through. Call when they say they are going to call. Show up to things they said they’d go to, and on time. They make you a priority."

1robotsnowman


15. When they take your side in public and tell you that you’re wrong in private.

"• asks your opinion

• remains calm in unpleasant situations

• takes your side in public

• tells you when you’re wrong in private

• is enthusiastic about your interests, but doesn’t copy them

edit for nuance:

• points 3/4 – there is nothing wrong with a polite correction or disagreement. but you don’t want someone who is constantly picking a fight or bad mouthing your thoughts or opinions.

• point 5 – to clarify it is great to have interests in common, but there are some people who basically want to steal your aesthetic or they confuse being close to you with being the same as you."

motelcheeseburger


16. When they’re at peace with their past relationships.

"Someone who’s at peace with their past relationships and doesn’t feel like they need to make up for something that went wrong with you. When you’re with someone you want to take along the ride, all your past bad experiences stop being mistakes and they just become…experience."

madkeepz


17. When they don’t nag.

"1. If they are consistently nice to everyone. That includes people of lesser socioeconomic standing, people who have different beliefs, etc.

2. When they get angry they can still be reasoned with and don’t just lose their shit. Also, that they don’t get angry easily or consistently.

3. There are not a lot of people who will truly listen to someone else and not interrupt them while they speak. When you find someone who does this you will realize what a great trait it is in a person.

4. They don’t nag. It used to bother me that my wife would take things out of the fridge and forget about them. An hour after we’ve eaten and the mustard and pickles are still on the counter. I put things away immediately. I told her it annoyed me. She still forgets. It wasn’t a deal breaker, so now I put the mustard and pickles away without saying anything. I do this because I realize I have my own flaws and she never nags me about anything, which is one of her many awesome traits. Come to think of it, she passes all of the things on this list.

I think I’ll keep her."

Joab007


18. When they understand the concept of alone time.

"Understands the concept of alone time and isn’t 'hurt' because you want to go to be early or go spend time with a friend or something. Gives you the benefit of the doubt if they think something is up and asks you about it. Not accuse you or decides what up before knowing facts."

Im_a_lion_babe


19. When they can make fun of you and it feels good.

"They can make fun of you and it feels good. That’s when you know."

cyclopsrex


20. When they do little things with you in mind.

"I’ve found that the best green flag about my current relationship is that he does stuff for me. Now I don’t mean grand gestures, just little things like getting me a glass of water, leaning over for something that’s out of my reach, that kind of thing. He’ll clean my dish after we’ve eaten, and he genuinely seems not to mind. The most selfless thing I’ve witnessed him do for me is going into a trash can to retrieve the pill bottle my dumb ass had dropped in there."

samthetov


21. When they get enjoyment out of making you happy.

"I don’t have time to read through all of these and I know I’m late enough that very few will see this.

I think that what makes 'the one' is different for everyone. I knew I was going to marry my now wife 10 days after our first date. We are both the 'make everyone happy' personality type. We both want to take care of everyone. I think the thing that makes us click so well is that we both think of each other constantly. If either of us are shopping, we will text the other to see if they need anything. We both like to get each other little things that we think the other will like just to surprise them. Our 'competition' between us is who can make the other one more happy.

Today, I came home and she had picked me up a bottle of my favorite whiskey. Last week, I brought home 12 of her favorite antiperspirant that has been discontinued. It makes my day to make her day.

We both get enjoyment out of making the other happy. I’m not saying this is for everyone. We both get pleasure from making the other’s day. If you find someone like that, I would say you’ve found 'the one.' Try to find someone that you care about more than you care about anything or anyone else (including yourself) and that you feel cares about you even more.

That whiskey is going to my head. Hopefully this makes some sense to the 6 people that see it. I feel like I’m rambling."

44ml


22. When you can have as much fun without sex as you do when having sex.

"When you can have as much fun without sex as you do when having sex. When sex is simply a product of your happy relationship and not a focal point or core piece of it. When you can laugh in the middle of sex and then continue having it. These things are super green flags."

Sailor_Venusaur


23. When they comfort your sick child.

"For me it was when my then boyfriend was staying over and my young son got sick in the middle of the night. He vomited in his bed and was crying. My bf beat me to his room, comforted him, and then helped him get cleaned up. He tucked him back in to a clean bed and sat vigil so I could get some rest. We’ve been married almost 17 years and have a son of our own….which he has never treated differently than my 2 boys. That moment is when I knew he was it for me."

katgib13


24. When they treat everyone with dignity and basic respect.

"Best buddy had an aneurysm 2 years before I met my wife. Has had to relearn basic fun motor movements. The weekend I met my wife, she engaged my best bud in conversation and asked him his story rather than be weirded out or think he was drunk (no joke 80 percent of people do that to him). She looked right in his eyes and talked to him for 20 minutes as he shook and had trouble getting his words out. Meant so much to me. She doesn’t even remember doing that which is funny now. But she lives up to that billing. Treats everyone with integrity and genuine respect & care. Won the freaking lotto with her."

acts1727


25. When they offer to cut a bitch for you.

"When we first met, I was getting harassing phone calls and zillions of texts from an ex. I tried to keep it from my new GF bec it was embarrassing and I didn’t want to deal. Finally, when it was impossible to ignore, my quiet, super-smart, introverted GF looked me in the eyes and said, 'Am I gonna have to cut a bitch?' Honestly that’s when I knew…"

dammit_mcnulty


26. When you get weak in the knees when they look at you.

"My husband and I have been married for twenty two years, I was 18 when we met, married a year later. For me it wasn’t a certain thing he did, it was a look. One day when we were dating and he was sad he looked at me like I was the one and only thing he saw, that nothing else was in the room, there was so much expression and pain in his eyes. People say they get weak in the knees when someone they love looks their way, I get weak in the heart. Twenty two years and that mans smile brings me more happiness than I can every tell him, his face is perfect, his voice, his body, we’ve aged but he looks as he did the day I met him to my eyes. He and I have been through a hell a time or two, a son’s death, our parents passing, losing jobs, homes, me being sick since the day he met me (Bad pancreas and various other things. My body likes to be an asshole) but I knew as long as I had his eyes to look into and his face next to mine I would be okay. Even when things were worse than we could imagine, the green flag for me was just truly him."

Argyleskin


27. When they show up with soup and movies when you’re sick.

"When they know you don’t feel well/are sick/are sad, they show up. I vividly remember being sick as a dog and looking/feeling like crap. He showed up with soup and movies, and let me sleep on his lap while he watched the movies alone. Then he told me I was pretty, even when we both knew I was dirty, smelly and full of snot. I locked that shit DOWN."

FreckledBaker


28. When they call you from the gas station to see if you want anything.

"Before you’re supposed to meet up, they call you from the gas station to see if you want anything."

stirKrazy11


29. When they remember what kind of tea you like.

"When they pick up on the little things you love, and incorporate it into their life.

The first night I stayed the night at my (now) wife’s place, she made us tea in the morning. She asked me what kind I liked, and I mentioned I like Darjeeling, but anything was fine. She said she only had Earl Grey, and she hoped that that was OK. I said of course it was, and that was that. She had the day off, and I went to work. I ended up going back and spending the night that night, and when I got up to make us breakfast the next morning, there was a new box of Darjeeling tea in the cupboard.

It was such a small gesture, but I knew then and there that there was no way I was letting this woman get away."

BuffHagen


30. When they keep a list of your favorite things.

"When I met my fiancé he handed me his phone while driving and asked me to pull up his notes app and jot down a quick list of things we needed for a weekend trip. There was a note already open…it was a list of things about me such as my favorite flower and favorite color, my siblings names…I thought it was just about the sweetest thing and as a forgetful person I thought it was a really great idea. We have been together 3 years now and are trying for a baby. He’s the best."

CLWsucks


31. When they literally fight for you.

"She fought for me. Like literally. A guy had cut in front of me at the theatres, and she immediately got up in his grill. swooon."

murkycoffee


32. When they claim your fart so you don’t get embarrassed in front of their friends.

"My husband (then boyfriend of 2 months) claimed my fart so I wouldn’t be embarrassed in front of his friends. If that’s not love, I don’t know what is."

teachingandbeaching


33. When they quit their job to take care of you.

"A few months into dating my wife, I had to get surgery and spent some time in the hospital. My wife-then-girlfriend happened to lose her job so she spent the week in the hospital with me, then day and night when I was immobile at home. I thought that was pretty amazing itself until a couple years later when she finally told me that she had actually quit her job to take care of me."

restless_dad TC mark

Start Your Holiday Lists! Here Are All Of Oprah’s Favorite Things For 2016

Posted: 03 Nov 2016 05:05 PM PDT

It’s the most wonderful time of the year: Oprah has released her favorite things:

Tarte’s ‘Kissing Squad’ lip set — $34

Tarte
Tarte

A colorful lip set from one of my (and apparently Oprah’s!) favorite brands.

The Kindle Oasis — $289

Pom pom hats! — $60

Fitbit Alta — $129

Fitbit
Fitbit

The newest version of the Fitbit, it’s now waterproof and comes in much cuter colors!

A smart and chic kitchen scale — $59

Alexander Valley holiday wines — $99 each

A beautiful salt and pepper set — $37 each

Mini bluetooth speakers shaped like animals — $24

Essential for Play
Essential for Play

These are so cute and incredibly useful!

Cozy Sunday sweaters — $112

Grow your own herbs kit — $26

Toni Morrison book set — $250

Fringe key chains — $16

Em John
Em John

So perfect for all your friend gifts!

A cross-body cell phone case — $24

Oprah + Deepak Chopra’s meditation CDs — $80

An anti-stress coloring book — $28

DROP bottle — $40

DROP bottle
DROP bottle

BPA free plastic bottles you can infuse with your favorite fruits!

A classy and classic long pajama set — $150

Wireless Beats by Dre — $199

An “airfryer” — $308

Phillips
Phillips

This little buddy uses a tablespoon or less of oil to fry your favorite foods. Seems like witchcraft.

Stackable handmade cuffs — $99

Colorful shoe laces — $17

A potato chip gift crate — $35

RBT Rabit wine decanter

RBT
RBT

It’s like a science experiment for your wine. Instant conversation starter.

Vera Bradley cross body bags — $168

Brouk + Co sunglasses box — $63

A fancy spice collection — $82

Brain Science coloring book + pencils — $20

Brain Science
Brain Science

Oprah’s pick of all the trendy coloring books that have come out this year.

A box of fancy Southern grits — $45

Burt’s Bees family jammies — $39

The perfect Fossil zip wallet — $85

Animal slippers for the little ones in your life — $24

Yikes Twins
Yikes Twins

I don’t know any kid who wouldn’t be obsessed with these.

A William Faulkner book set — $250

A griddle, grill, and waffle-maker in one — $299

Oprah’s cookbook — $31

A fancy english muffin and preserves set — $40

360 Cookware Kitchen Cutter — $199

360 Cookware
360 Cookware

This handy tool suctions to your kitchen counter and come with stainles steal cones for chopping, grating and slicing.

Maya Angelou book set — $195

Peoni La Crème — $195

Sintra XL bowls — $138

Over-the-knee outdoor boots — $128

the original Bialetti pasta pot — $29

Bialetti
Bialetti

A must-have staple in new cute colors.

Techloom running shoes — $165

“Cocoon” memory foam mattress — $399

A travel cord organizer — $15

Lumberjack Sorel boots — $173

Bamboo Chic Cardis — $116

Barefoot Dreams
Barefoot Dreams

They come with equally comfy lounge pants!

Fancy pound cakes — $39

Soft touch tees — $135

Personal theater goggles — $435

Whitten stud earrings — $72

Addison Weeks
Addison Weeks

24k gold plates featuring tons of pretty colors.

Orthaheel women’s slippers — $49

Smart luggage set — $295

Barrel aged infused maple syrups — $69

Chic Italian throw blankets — $128

Lands Downunder
Lands Downunder

What’s a better present than a cozy blanket?

A super warm puffy jacket — $189

A digital picture frame — $399

Rose foot treatments — $105

A cake that looks like a poinsettia plant — $132

Made in Heaven Cakes
Made in Heaven Cakes

A chocolate cate with vanilla mousse made to look like your favorite holiday plant. Serves 8-10 people.

A travel pillow that also organizes your stuff — $34

A flexible security camera — $200

“Jellycat” animals for kids — $22

Organic Rose + Lavendar sachets — $20

Bloembox
Bloembox

Beautiful feminine scents for your drawers, a little affordable hit of luxury for someone you love.

Farmshop holiday cookie collection — $80

The classic Talbots mom vest — $119

A toxin-free skincare line — $60

Talbots
Talbots

Order this in your mom’s favorite color!

Grapeseed pantry gift set — $90

Gordon Ramsey knife block set — $96

Gloves that let you text without taking them off — $38

Custom Dog blankets — $395

Charles Fradin
Charles Fradin

Send them a picture of your pup, and their face will grace this cozy blanket for them to call their own.

Michael Kors high tops — $195

A sorbet maker — $94

A security camera that sends movements to your phone — $179

These beautiful ceramic marbled salad plates — $54

Glitterville
Glitterville

You will never have a dinner party where someone does not comment on how cool these are.

A “chocolate storybook” — $88

A modern meditation book — $29

A pear almond tart — $60

Essential oil candles — $52

Village Common
Village Common

A fusion of pine, cedar, and burch. They’ll make anyone’s home smell like a cozy forrest.

Bright striped scarves — $59

A travel jewelry case — $59

Tropical clutches — $250

Biggie’s tower of toffee — $50

Biggies crack toffee
Biggies crack toffee

This is called “crack” toffee for a reason.

Colorful bone china mugs — $49

A gift bucket for a furry friend — $48

A stain that works for cheeks and lips — $65

A luxe biscuits and honey gift set — $22

Big Bottom Market
Big Bottom Market

A yummy treat for anyone who loves comfort food.

Kyboe “power” watches — $230

A beautiful filtered water pitcher — $29

Convertible cowl-neck sweaters — $128

Super cute holiday totes — $56

Crab + Cleek
Crab + Cleek

I really want this dog one!!!

Extremely comfy robes — $198

Scented fire starters — $49

Truffle zest holiday set — $35

A bluetooth key finder — $29

HButler
HButler

Attach this to your keychain and you’ll never lose your keys again.

Funky reading glasses — $22

The Book of Joy — $14

John Steinbeck book set — $195

Butter London polish set — $150

Butter London
Butter London

Every color your heart desires.

Floating pearl earrings — $80

Snag free hair ties — $24

A baby sleeping set — $54

TC mark

28 Newlyweds Confess What They Didn’t Discover About Their SO Until They Were Already Married

Posted: 03 Nov 2016 05:00 PM PDT

via Unsplash - hieu le
via Unsplash – hieu le

1. She’s Faithless

That she will watch shows we started together without me. It’s so hurtful.

Nick357

2. He’s A Living Methane Rig

How gassy my husband is. The moment we got home from the courthouse he let one rip and hugged me saying I have to accept this now. He’d never farted in front of me before.

He farts so much.

CosmetologistToBe

3. He’s A Morning Person

After dating for seven years and well-establishing that I like to sleep in when I don’t have plans, we got married. Suddenly, idk why, apparently “we” had a bedtime AND in the morning, it was suddenly “time for us to get up.” Had to have a stern conversation with my morning-person husband about that real quick. If there’s stuff we have to do, yeah sure, but if it’s a lazy Sunday, leave me alone and go play video games alone.

nfmadprops04

4. She’s A Secret Clown

My wife can make balloon animals and I never knew it. One day were sitting at home with the kids and after I brought home the wrong type of balloons out of nowhere she twists up a dog, then a monkey.

DiNAMiK

5. She’s Food Jealous…Possibly Food Aggressive

My wife turned out to be extremely food jealous. If I am eating something that looks and tastes better than what she is eating, she gets pretty upset if I don’t offer her any.

KCFirepower

6. That He’s Basically A Puppy

That rice crispy treats are his favorite “baked” good. He had never so much as mentioned them before to me. Two years married and suddenly- this bombshell! Out of the blue!

But seriously: after we got married I realized that he wasn’t as calm as he seemed.

He can actually get very anxious (like a normal human being) and if he doesn’t do something active for a few days (work out, run, etc) he gets hyper like a 3 year old on a sugar high- manic, can’t sit still, loud singing….

It’s quite something to behold.

NewEnglandlovah

7. He’s An Opener And She’s A Slammer

I found out my husband leaves everything open. So every drawer, door, cabinet, etc. that he opens will stay open.

He also found out I’m even clumsier than he thought and on my way to close one cabinet or drawer I will definitely hit my head on an open cabinet or trip over a drawer.

Now he only leaves a few cabinets open at a time… Progress!

thedollgirl

8. He Is A Llama

He’s very much like a llama. Upset him at just the right time and he’ll completely lose his appetite and refuse to eat for a while.

IxamxUnicron

9. That Their Hates Perfectly COmplement

He hates grocery shopping, like would rather clean the toilet than pick up more than 2 things at the grocery store. It kind of works though, because I hate cleaning the bathroom.

Khaotic1987

10. He Takes Husbanding Very Seriously

That he takes the title of “husband ” very seriously. It’s almost like I married a different person that’s way more responsible than the person I dated. He dragged his feet to get a job and contribute when we were dating, and now he’s kicked it up ten notches.

aggiechicken

11. That He’s A Secret Saint

That he supported his buddy’s family financially while his buddy spent a year in federal prison, not “England” as everyone else was told. My husband kept his buddy’s employment open by doing his buddy’s job as well as his own job during that year.

Thought of another one. We were married about three years before I found out he had once given his cousin a stack of signed, blank checks because she was a single mom and struggling to pay her bills.

gerenspeil

12. She’s An Audience Of One

She only laughs at her own jokes. Like, she’ll laugh after I say something, but it’s only because she’s thinking something funnier in her head. She’s her own best comic.

conkub

13. That He’s Not Human

He had never had a peanut butter and jelly sandwich in his life, and I found this out when we were married for more than five years. I made him his first pb&j when he was 30, and he was blown away by how good it was.

pam_poovey_

14. He Sleep Talks

About to celebrate 2 months of marriage, so I’m still part of the newlywed club. My husband and I didn’t live together until after we got married and I discovered his sleep talking…which happens almost every night. He’s had full conversations with me thinking my name was Steve-o, yelled “two players now, who’s going down,” but my personal favorite is when he rolled over and said, “I just know it’s gonna be a Happy Halloween soon.”

alli-oop

15. That A Girl’s Hair Claims Territory

The shedding. My god, the shedding. I’d like to put a long sleeve shirt on without getting one of her hairs stuck between my fingers on the way through the sleeves. Man, I remember what that was like.

FerrisWheelJunky

16. That They’re Both As Boring As They Seem

That she leads a pretty boring life. Just like me. I expected everything to change, but instead it was just pretty much the same as before we got a piece of paper.

Everyone else told me things would change but they haven’t. I also suspect that my children will be pretty boring people as well.

Prof_V

17. That Birthdays Died For Him When He Was Eight

No one came to his 8th birthday party after his dad died and even now he gets too much anxiety over birthday parties to have them for himself.

effieokay

18. He Didn’t Know How To Clean

He’s literally never cleaned a thing in his life. No idea how to vacuum, clean a toilet or a shower… it was interesting.

He’s much better now.

this_isnt_amy

19. That Her Parents Would Do Anything To Destroy Them

I knew her parents didn’t like me because of my race, but I underestimated her family’s aggressiveness towards our marriage. She went from very close to her family to estranged in a matter of weeks. Even her mother and cousins stopped speaking to her.

Her father threatened that she would be dead to the family if we got married and actually followed through when we did. The amount of psychological terror they unleashed upon her appalled me. We were 100% compatible in a vacuum but the stress that was pushing on us from every side was enormous.

We divorced just short of 18 months of marriage.

Nevermind04

20. Fog Horn

That her butt functions as a low level fog horn some mornings.

jumjimbo

21. That She Was Gay

That she was gay. This is significant because I am straight and assumed she was as well.

Jabez77

22. He Had A Taint Mustache

He has a really hairy taint. Like a mustache. But he has relatively sparse body hair everywhere else.

We tried to wax it once.

lunchesandbentos

23. Farts Are Her Whole World

The extent to which she thinks farts are funny. She let on that they were humorous before we got married, but now I realize she thinks they’re goddam hilarious. A good fart can always put a smile on her face.

VEAVERHOOTER

24. She Became The Crunchiest Mom Who Ever Crunched

My wife has very strong opinions on natural foods, added sugars, preservatives, and organic growing methods. After we got married I noticed that several staples of my diet were slowly being phased out. The other shoe didn’t fully drop until we had kids, at which point everything was evaluated for content before purchase, and many things were just barred from being brought into the house.

This isn’t a bad thing, I’m healthier than I have ever been in my life, but she didn’t show any of the signs of being this crunchy before we got married.

ReverendSaintJay

25. That Anxiety is Real

I’d known that he’d struggled with anxiety and depression throughout his life, but about 5 months after the wedding it really hit hard. We’d just bought a car because he’d been doing well at his first full time job. The stress off needing to work or else crashed down so hard that had to stop completely. The panic attacks were so severe and frequent that he nearly couldn’t leave the house. He couldn’t drive to work because he’d shake so violently and his arms and legs would go numb. Every morning around 4am he’d wake up to try to go to work and I’d stop him. We’d sit in the dark until he calmed down enough to play a video game for a while. These attacks would happen around 5 times a day. They’ve dissipated since he formally left the job and we decided that my income was technically enough. I had no idea that anxiety attacks could be that severe, and I wish I could take them away for him, at least so that he could get more out of life. Since we decided he won’t work outside of home, we’ve started a family and he’ll soon be a stay at home dad for our son. Instead of filling my husband with anxiety or terror, I’ve never seen him so excited and confident in himself.

Inky_Blinky_Bean

26. That He Was One Of Those People

That he has a THIRD middle name.

He gets a pass though, because he didn’t know either. And his amazing pinnacle of love and devotion, his mother, also forgot, and when shown the birth certificate showing a third middle name, wondered aloud, “Now why did I do that?”

wimwood

27. She’s Not Sarcastic, She’s Mean

Before we got married I loved how sarcastic she was. After we got married I realized she wasn’t sarcastic at all, just mean. We’re still happily married, though.

Reinhold_Messner

28. You Learn Lots Of Things When You Share A Car

My wife and I discovered horrifying things about each other, because after we married we shared one car.

I will drink a coffee that has been out all day. It’s normal for me to put a giant jug of iced coffee in the car and then sip from it intermittently for many hours.

My wife, it turns out, often feels congested. She’ll discreetly hock a gigantic loogie into any discarded coffee cup nearby.

I would drive the car in the morning, then we’d switch midday and she’d take it for the afternoon, then I’d take it back in the evening.

Twice I picked up my neglected coffee and took a loooong draw. The straw was blocked, needed lots of suction, and then something icy and slimy slithered into my mouth.

We have two cars now and I keep them both stocked with tissues at hand.

screennameoutoforder TC mark

10 Things Your Parents Do That Make You Disproportionately Crazy

Posted: 03 Nov 2016 04:30 PM PDT

Thought.is
Thought.is

1. They follow you on social media.

You know they're lying there in bed before they fall asleep, scrolling through your feeds, trying to understand you better. You really wish they wouldn't because any information gleaned from these cybersnoop missions disguised as good parenting is inevitably misinterpreted. You're tired of explaining that you're not dating so-and-so just because you tagged them in a photo and that you're not gay just because you hashtag #love all your girlfriends so much.

2. They think your use of Internet abbreviations is cause for concern.

Instead of appreciating the time a good abbreviation saves you from typing out lengthy messages (time that’s better spent, say, doing your homework), they express concern for your grasp of the English language when you accidentally pop one in a text to them. As if your vast lexicon of useful abbreviations means your vocabulary is somehow less good than that of a person who can't decode a simple lmao, wtf, or imo.

3. They don't get memes or gifs.

They don't even know how to pronounce these terms correctly, let alone understand why any particular meme or gif is can be such an effective, valuable means of self-expression. You're tired of trying to explain why a specific image is hilarious, or going viral. You're even more tired of spelling out what going viral means, exactly.

4. Their enthusiasm for emojis gives you second-hand embarrassment.

They overuse them and you know it’s because they assume that by doing so, they're speaking to you on your level or something. The problem is that they routinely misuse them, which is sometimes hilarious but usually just super annoying. In their eyes, the praying hands emoji is two people high-fiving. And the crying tears of joy emoji is devastated instead of elated.

5. They try (and fail) to adopt your slang.

They see a Beyoncé video or an episode of some reality TV show and suddenly feel empowered to drop terms like "bae" and "OG" into conversation. Within a day they've forgotten what their favorite new word means, however, so they call you (not text, because they're actually still programmed to pick up the phone when they have a quick question) for a reminder. Reluctantly, you provide the definition, then you send a follow-up text using the word correctly in a sample sentence, but within half a day they're mucking it up again in a Facebook caption.

6. They're extremely worried about the dangers of "hookup culture."

They've read countless studies and forwarded you several articles on the dangers of hookup culture. None of these articles reflects your actual reality, like, at all, but you'd really rather not talk about sex with your parents. So you reply to each and every single email with faux gratitude (Thanks Mom!!! Didn’t realize sexual assault was such a big deal on college campuses!) to confirm receipt and then pray that they don’t mention the whole thing later.

7. Ditto to the "pornification" of your generation.

They don't want you watching porn because they've read all about how porn warps young peoples’ minds, turning innocent women into Brazilian bikini waxed sluts and their male counterparts into sex addicted predators destined for early onset erectile dysfunction. You let them believe those parental controls have actually protected you from pornography, but you've obviously seen it all anyway. The thing is, you've seen just as many of the raw, amateur videos that are widely available free of charge as the big budget, over-produced pornos, so it's not like you're confused about what sex really looks like.

8. They've also awkwardly warned you about sexting.

As if you need your parents to explain the risks of sexting. You've watched enough Lifetime movies and seen enough hacked celebrity new stories unfold to know that you have to crop your face out of every naked shot you send. Somehow you doubt that mom and dad are privy to the same basic sexting 101 tips, but you’ll keep your knowledge to your self.

9. They endlessly glorify the pre-Internet past.

They think their childhood was so much more pure than yours just because "screen time" wasn't a thing. They also think they were so brave just because they had to ask people out irl, as if sending a text and having to wait for a reply were somehow any less nerve wrecking than saying a few words out loud.

10. They dismiss time spent online as completely wasted.

They're always telling you to sign off or to put your phone down, as if every single second spent online were wasted. You dream of the day you're old enough to get out of the house and off the family phone plan so you can sign up for unlimited data and be done with all the nagging already. Sigh. TC mark

I Am A Rape Survivor, Not A Rape Victim

Posted: 03 Nov 2016 04:00 PM PDT

Brooke Cagle
Brooke Cagle

Two weeks into the start of my second semester as a college student of the University of Georgia, I was raped. For months, I pretended that I was okay. I wanted to believe that I could deal with what happened on my own, but everything just became worse. I realized that the only way I could get better was to tell someone.

One of the first questions I was asked by my family when I told them was why hadn't I reported what happened. The honest answer was that I was terrified. I was afraid that my friends would turn away from me, that my university would brush it under the rug, that the police would blame me, that his fraternity would come after me, but mostly I was afraid that I would be forever labeled as the girl who was raped. I just didn't want to believe that my life was forever changed.

When my sophomore year of college began, I started it with the hopes of putting what happened behind me. I thought I knew how to handle it… that is until my rapist showed up at one of my sorority's date nights. I was at the venue with my date talking with friends when I looked over and saw him walking in with one of my sisters. He knew what he was doing when he agreed to be her date. He walked straight over to where I was and smiled at me. Until that moment, I hadn't known what pure fear was. I sprinted to the bathroom and hyperventilated for about twenty minutes until I was finally able to pull myself together. After that experience, I knew that I had made the worst mistake of my life by not reporting it when I had the chance.

So now, almost two years after my rape occurred, I'm finally telling everyone. My purpose is to let others know that they are not alone. I never realized how many women and men were rape survivors until it happened to me. No one should be ashamed of what happened to them because we did nothing wrong. No matter what society tells us, we did not ask for this.

We are rape survivors and not rape victims because we will not be victimized. We are strong. When I was raped, there was a part of me that died and for the longest time I felt that death. I have realized that where that piece died, something even better and stronger is being born.

Do not be afraid to seek help. Do not be afraid to report. Stay strong and remember that you are not alone. TC mark

7 Things My Son Taught Me In 7 Years

Posted: 03 Nov 2016 03:30 PM PDT

@jo.maycock1
@jo.maycock1

When my induction date was set for 09/09/09, I knew that that day would be a lucky one. I was 20 years old and had absolutely no clue what I was doing, how the day would go or what to possibly expect. I didn't even know how much this day would change me as a person until I finally saw your face. You were 6 lbs. 12 oz. and had dark hair and dark eyes just like your birth father. You were the most beautiful boy I had ever seen in all of my days. I was filled with an overwhelming feeling to protect you and do anything in my power to see you grow into a happy, successful human being. Little did I know that you would teach me much more than just how to be a mother.

1. You taught me to not put up with BS because I knew you were watching.

I was notorious for dealing with things that I didn't deserve. I didn't seem to care as long as it was me that was hurting but when things affected you, I knew it was time to leave. You were my reason for pushing forward and understanding that I (we) deserve better, and I was going to find it for us.

2. You taught me that I was a person worth saving.

I thought that I was young, wild and free. I thought that I was doing whatever I wanted because I could. Really, I was masking all of my hurt with drugs and alcohol because I honestly felt like I wasn't someone that was worth being on this earth. When that plus sign showed up on the first test, all of a sudden, I had someone that needed me to live. You needed me to take care of myself so that I could take care of you. You showed me that I am important in this world because I am important to you. I've always called you my lifesaver, and one day, I hope you realize that I truly mean it.

3. You taught me that the little things matter the most.

It's so easy to get caught up in the hustle and bustle of everyday life. Most days, our days are so jammed packed that we're just trying to make it to bed time and already stressing out about tomorrow. Your innocence has helped me see things that I've been too busy to notice. You see the beauty in everything and remind me to take a step back and look at the big picture instead.

4. You taught me that my own mother knew what she was doing, even when I thought she was always wrong.

People always told me that I wouldn't appreciate my mom until I became a mother myself, and that was true. I thought my mom was strict as a child until I started using the same methods to teach you, as well. Now, I have so many people coming up to me telling me that you are so well-behaved and well-mannered. I couldn't be more proud of you or more thankful to have had a mom that knew what she was doing when she raised me, too.

5. You taught me that material things don't matter.

I was one of those people that thought that I needed name brand things to feel important. Obviously, when you came along, those things weren't as easily accessible because like they say, babies cost a lot of money. I had never seen anyone be as excited over a $1 pack of bubbles or a 50 cent pack of chalk. We have had fun for hours with the smallest amount of money. I know now it isn't the cost of things that matter but it's really all about who you're spending your time with, and that in itself is invaluable.

6. You taught me that everything is a learning experience.

I spent too much time complaining about things when they didn't go my way until I realized that you were listening to everything I had to say. I learned how to turn every situation into a lesson for you so that you would grow up knowing how to handle certain situations and how to make the best out of everything, even if it sucks at first. Everything that I used to do with no second thought, I now wanted to slow down and show you how to do it all. I pray that I do a good job at preparing you for life. I pray that I am someone that you can look to for advice and comfort.

7. You taught me what it means to love.

It is so cliché to say but I honestly did not know love until I had you. I didn't know that my heart was capable of such a thing. After being hurt for so long, it's hard to believe that a love so pure could exist from anyone. You look to me for everything, and I hope that I am always what you need. You bring more joy into my life than I ever thought possible. I hope I bring just as much joy into yours. TC mark

What Kind Of Man You’ll Have The Most Chemistry With, Based On Your Chinese Zodiac Animal

Posted: 03 Nov 2016 03:00 PM PDT

Twenty20, anniejanssen
Twenty20, anniejanssen

Rat (Born in 2008, 1996, 1984, 1972, 1960)

You’ll have the most chemistry with an intellectual. You have a big brain of your own, which is why you value personality over appearance. You can’t date someone that you deem stupid, even if they’re drop dead gorgeous. It would never work. You need someone that’s as smart as you are.

Ox (Born in 2009, 1997, 1985, 1973, 1961)

You’ll actually have the most chemistry with your polar opposite. Since you’re such a hard worker, and rarely find time to relax, you need a man that’s a dreamer. A man that loves to have fun and will push you outside of your comfort zone. Someone that will take you on spontaneous adventures and bring some excitement into your dull life.

Tiger (Born in 2010, 1998, 1986, 1974, 1962)

You’ll have the most chemistry with an athlete, because you’re passionate and are always on the lookout for adventure. You need a man that is just as outgoing as you are. You want to have insane stories to tell, so you can’t be with someone that holds you back. You need someone that pushes you forward. Someone that’s just as psychotic as you are.

Rabbit (Born in 2011, 1999, 1987, 1975, 1963)

You appreciate the simple things in life, which means you’ll have the most chemistry with someone that makes you smile, no matter what situation you’re in. Someone that will lounge on the couch with you during the week and take you out on a picnic on weekends. Someone that keeps it simple, but still puts in effort.

Dragon (Born in 2012, 2000, 1988, 1976, 1964)

You get along best with the “class clown” type. Why? Because you’re brutally honest and a lot of people aren’t able to handle that. But jokesters will appreciate your honesty and your teasing. They’ll be happy to have you around to keep them grounded and you’ll be happy to have them around to make you laugh.

Snake (Born in 2013, 2001, 1989, 1977, 1965)

You’re a sensual person, which is why you need someone that’s touchy feely. Someone that won’t be afraid to hold your hand while you walk through the mall or get frisky with you in a public place. That’s why you’ll have the most chemistry with players. With flirts. You just have to find one that’s willing to settle down and commit to you and only you.

Horse (Born in 2014, 2002, 1990, 1978, 1966)

You need a down to earth guy. One that you’re comfortable wearing sweatpants and your glasses in front of. One that you trust, even when another girl has been texting him nonstop. Basically, you need to find a best friend. Then you need to turn that best friend into your boyfriend.

Goat (Born in 2015, 2003, 1991, 1979, 1967)

You need a family man, because you’re ridiculously close with your relatives. You also love the holidays, because it brings everyone closer together, so you can’t be with a Grinch. You need a guy that loves his family as much as you love your family. A guy that’s excited to start his own family with you.

Monkey (Born in 2016, 2004, 1992, 1980, 1968)

You need a hard-working, independent man. Why? Because you’re the type of person that would give a guy the shirt off of your back. It’s easy for you to get taken advantage of, but you don’t want that to happen. That’s why you need a guy that’s self-sufficient. A guy that doesn’t need you, but wants you, so you know you’re not being used.

Rooster (Born in 2017, 2005, 1993, 1981, 1969)

You have the most chemistry with people that are nasty to you. Not actually nasty. Someone that teases you as a way to flirt with you. Someone that isn’t afraid to make fun of your cockiness–because you are cocky. You think you’re the greatest, and they think so too, but they aren’t going to let you know they think that. They’re going to play around first.

Dog (Born in 2018, 2006, 1994, 1982, 1970)

You have the most chemistry with “misunderstood” men. For whatever reason, you’re drawn to the underdogs. To the people that seem like they don’t deserve a second of your time–but you see past those tough exteriors. You’re sweet, and you can see their sweet sides, as well. You can tell that they’re pretty damn amazing, deep down.

Pig (Born in 2019, 2007, 1995, 1983, 1971)

You need someone that’s a kid at heart. He shouldn’t be too immature to fold his own laundry. He should just be a fan of Disney movies and pillow forts. And he should be willing to make a fool of himself in front of you, whether it’s while he’s singing in the car or is up on stage during Karaoke. Basically, you need someone as silly as you. TC mark