Thought Catalog


20 Juicy Sex Details Your Partner Is Probably Spilling To Their Friends

Posted: 09 Dec 2016 08:00 PM PST

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Pexels

1. If you’ve had sex yet. Once you do, her friends will know about it, because she’ll be wondering what it means. Are you official now? Are you friends with benefits? Are you just seeing where it goes? She needs her BFF’s opinion.

2. The type of protection you two use. She’ll want to know if her friends are using condoms in addition to the pill or if they’re just sticking to the pill or if they’ve tried out that IUD thing. No offense, but she doesn’t want to end up pregnant with your child.

3. What her pubic hair looks like. She’s curious about what her friends’ situations are, so she can decide if she should shave it all off and if she should encourage you to manscape.

4. If you’ve made her orgasm. Unfortunately, women are usually so neglected sexually that other women will actually be impressed when they hear their friend has been finishing. So if you make your girl orgasm, you bet your ass she’s going to brag about it.

5. What you sext each other. She might even show her friends the sexts you two have sent each other in order to brag or to get advice on how to take it up a notch.

6. How often you’re fucking. She wants to know if her friends are having more or less sex than she is. It’s not a competition. Except it kind of is.

7. The size of your dick. She’ll let her friends know if it’s thicker or longer or thinner or shorter than the guys she’s been with in the past. Don’t get self-conscious. She’s probably making you look good.

8. What erotic novels she’s read. This isn’t exactly about you, but if your girlfriend tells her friends about the naughty things she’s read about, she might end up asking you to do those things to her in the future.

9. When she had a pregnancy scare. Even if you don’t realize it, your girlfriend has had at least one pregnancy scare in her life. She might’ve kept it a secret from you to keep you calm, but she’s going to tell her friends all about it.

10. Where you’ve done it. If you’ve been naughty and have had sex in a park or a classroom, then she’s going to brag about how adventurous she is.

11. What type of lingerie she owns. If she’s found a super sexy outfit, she’ll tell her friends where she bought it and how much it cost. She might even show it to them (while it’s on the hook).

12. How long sex lasts. She’ll either complain about how quickly you come or how long it takes you. There is no in-between.

13. If you’ve tried any toys. If she’s had a life-changing experience with a pair of handcuffs, she’s going to give the news to her friends, so they can try them out as well.

14. What type of underwear she wears. She’ll talk about how uncomfortable thongs are and how comfortable cotton is. And she’ll talk about whether you wear boxers, briefs, or boxer briefs.

15. What your cum tastes like. Is it the best thing she’s ever swallowed or does it make her gag?

16. How often oral is happening. She wants to be assured that you’re going down on her often enough and that she’s going down on you often enough.

17. How she feels about being on top. She’ll either complain about how much she hates riding you or she’ll offer her friends some pointers.

18. What porn she’s watched. If she’s seen any ridiculous adult videos recently, she’ll laugh about them with her friends.

19. When she has to visit the gynecologist. She’ll complain about how she has to schedule an appointment soon to get fondled by a stranger. No woman is happy about her trips to the gyno.

20. How amazing your cuddling sessions are. She can’t talk about sex without talking about what comes after. TC mark

14 Men Reveal Their #1 Sex Tip For All Women Who Want To Be The BEST In Bed

Posted: 09 Dec 2016 07:00 PM PST

@m__cart
@m__cart

1.

If your mission is to finish me with a bj than don’t stop 5 times during to ask if I’m almost there. It adds 5 minutes each time.

— AgentCookie

2.

talk to me, tell me what you want, don’t make me guess. if you want your asshole licked TELL ME!! i’ll do it.

— Drunk_Grandpa

3.

Don’t fake orgasm. I enjoy your pleasure as much as you do mine, but it kind of ruins it if I have to wonder if what I’m experiencing is authentic. And I don’t like being lied to when I’m naked.

— awayaway3141

4.

Put your hands on me.

Does it feel good when I touch your chest, hips, thighs? When I kiss your neck, lick your nipples? IT FEELS GOOD WHEN YOU DO THAT TO ME, TOO!

— IS_THIS_POST_WEIRD

5.

While I love doing things to your body, I like that shit too. Fuck back!

— RevRaven

6.

Guide us in. Our dicks feel sensations differently than our fingers do and we may not know we’re pushing against something that’s not an opening. We like being guided in.

— TooBadFucker

7.

Drop the inhibitions. It’s a turn off. And I don’t mean you have to be willing to hang from meat hooks while I throw jello at your butthole, I just mean a girl who is comfortable with sex and her own body is leagues sexier than a chick who’s inhibited or self-conscious.

Some of the best sex I ever had was with a big fat chick in college because she just didn’t give a fuck. Loved fucking and didn’t constantly make little self-depricating comments about her body.

— Landlubber77

8.

If you want me to do anything to you …literally anything …all you have to do is suck on my penis.

— penisstuckinazipper

9.

Don’t tell me you like stuff if you don’t. I’m listening, and I’m going to increase the frequency of things you say you like, and some day down the line you’re going to have to tell me that you actually hate doing all the things I like, I’d rather just find out right away and make an informed decision about being compatible.

— Cptejcltr

10.

Don’t try too hard and do things you don’t want to do just to satisfy the man.

If you are going to have my meat stick down your throat but you hate it, don’t do it. It might feel great for me, but I’m more concerned with your breathing struggles than being pleasured.

— Kohev

11.

Confidence. If she isn’t confidence with herself you’re going to have a bad time. My wife has issues with her body and it as taken a huge toll on our sex life.

— what_it_is322

12.

Cup the balls.

— biolar

13.

Be enthusiastic. Don’t just lie there. Have sex because you want it too and show that you’re enjoying it.

— askholeZeke

14.

No. Teeth.

— MagicPen15 TC mark

The Unedited Truth About Why People Cheat (And What Couples Should Do About It)

Posted: 09 Dec 2016 06:30 PM PST

@fematology
@fematology

Megan contacted me for counseling because she had just found out that her husband, Jim, was having an affair. Although she was feeling hurt and angry, she didn’t feel justified in getting too hurt and angry because she had also been having an affair.

Megan told me that she and Jim still loved each other and they didn’t want to break up their family, but her discovery of his affair took her out of denial. She had been able to rationalize her affair to herself, but she couldn’t rationalize Jim’s. She had to acknowledge that something was really wrong. She was worried that this meant the end of their relationship.

I assured Megan that the affairs were not the problem but a symptom of the problem. It did not need to mean the end of the relationship. She and Jim could decide to learn about the deeper problems in their relationship and eventually create a much more satisfying relationship.

As a counselor, I hear this story over and over. Why is there so much infidelity?

Megan and Jim entered their marriage, as most people do, with the expectation that the other person would make them happy. They entered feeling some emptiness, unworthiness and insecurity, hoping their partner would fill them, validate them and complete them. Yet as time went on, neither felt happy, secure, filled or complete. They began to look elsewhere. Perhaps someone else – someone more attentive and more emotionally available, or sexier, or more playful would fill the emptiness, validate their worth, and make them happy.

The problem lies in how most people in our society view what makes them happy. Any TV commercial will illuminate the underlying problem:

  • Get this car – it will make you happy.
  • Get this house – it will make you happy.
  • Wear these clothes. Then you will look good and get approval and that will make you happy.
  • Go on this diet – then you will look good, find your beloved and then you will be happy.
  • Take this pill – then you will be happy.
  • Go on this vacation – that will make you happy.
  • Get this toy, this appliance, this new gadget – then you will be happy.

But Megan had the house, the car, the husband, the children, the money, the job, the antidepressants – and she still wasn’t happy. So, she went looking for another person to make her happy.

The problem is that as long as Megan and Jim believe that something external will make them happy, they will be unhappy, and they will keep looking for another person, better sex, a bigger house, and so on to make them happy.

Infidelity generally comes from the same inner emptiness as does alcohol and drug abuse, food addiction, gambling, spending, shopping, and so on. In the case of infidelity, the addiction is to attention, approval or sex – using another person to fill the inner emptiness and take away the inner aloneness. Rather than end the relationship, taking their emptiness and aloneness with them into their next relationship, Megan and Jim have the opportunity to do some inner healing work.

Megan and Jim decided that it was worth trying to save their marriage. They came to one of our Inner Bonding Couples Intensives and learned about all the ways they were making the other person responsible for their well-being and happiness. They learned the powerful Inner Bonding process for taking responsibility for their own feelings and for connecting with an ever-present source of love and wisdom to help them learn to love themselves. They discovered that they had no love to share with each other until they learned how to fill themselves with love and to be loving to themselves. They learned:

  • To stay focused inward, on their own feelings and behavior, rather than have their eyes on the other’s plate.
  • That their intention is the most powerful thing they have, and that they are either in the intent to protect against pain or the intent to learn in any given moment. They discovered that the intent to learn about themselves and each other creates intimacy while the intent to protect against being hurt creates distance.
  • They learned to explore their own fears and beliefs rather than keep trying to get the other to change.
  • They learned how to connect with their personal source of inner/spiritual guidance to help them know the loving action toward themselves and with each other and they learned to take loving action for themselves rather than try to get the other to take care of them.

They then continued their learning and received much support by joining the Inner Bonding membership community. By being willing to do their Inner Bonding work and learn how to take emotional responsibility for themselves, Megan and Jim were able to create a much more intimate and fulfilling relationship. The affairs, rather than ending their relationship, led to creating a whole new and satisfying relationship. At this point, neither Megan nor Jim has any desire to have an affair. TC mark

To The Girl He’s Cheating On With Me – I’m Sorry

Posted: 09 Dec 2016 06:00 PM PST

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Unsplash

I can bet you probably hate me. I'm sure words like slut and whore have gotten thrown my way or will in the future, if you don't know yet. But one day you will find out. And when you do, he's gonna try and sweet talk his way out of it, like he tends to do so gracefully.

But I'm sure you've suspected something for a while now. Maybe I carelessly left something at his house or in his car that he swore was his sisters. Maybe you got a wiff of my perfume even though he changed clothes every time.

You know that itch you can't scratch but you'd rather be in denial than face the truth? I've been on your side of this, for so long I hated the girl. But what I didn't realize until I became her was it's him that's at fault, it wasn't her and it isn't fully me.

Sure it takes two to tango but I couldn't help that I fell in love with someone who wasn't mine but I wanted so desperately for him to be. I believed his lies as we laid in bed and talked about a future I knew would never be. He talked about the day he'll leave you but I knew they were just words because he went home to you every night saying 'I love you.' I believed it when he told me that too.

And I know I should have had enough self-respect to walk away sooner but love has a way of making you do stupid things. Love makes you believe these lies. Love allows you to see exactly what you want and blinds you to what you don't.

It was the calls late at night that gave me something to hold onto. But deep in my heart I knew if he did like me as much as he said, he would be with me and he isn't. It was him spinning this web of lies he so beautifully crafted and me falling for it.

It's was all a game. He told me the rules and I played by every one of them.

It's the pictures we weren't allowed to take. The places we weren't allowed to go. The people I wasn't allowed to tell. It's the name changes in his contact and the fact I could only call him on his work phone. It was the defeating feeling at 3 AM as I watched his car drive away and all I ever wanted was for him to stay.

But more than anything I'd like to take the time to apologize. Not just for participating in such a triangle of self-inflicted heartbreak but I'm sorry he doesn't respect and love you enough to stay loyal. I'm sorry you're dating someone who isn't worthy of you. Because if he was, I wouldn't be in the picture. The truth is though, if it's not me, he'd be cheating with someone else. That's the way cheaters are.

I love him very deeply and it took everything in me to walk away because I wanted someone who wanted only me.

I didn't want to be someone's side chick. I was tired of being his best kept secret. But more than anything I realized I didn't want to participate in something that would cause you the same pain it caused me when I was in your shoes.

It's common for girls to get pinned against one another but the truth of the matter is we're both simply in love with the same man. While I'll own up to the mistakes I made I couldn't have controlled that happening. I wish it hadn't because now my definition of love is one which is tainted.

If you guys do stay together I wish you the best and from the bottom of my heart I am sorry for the pain I've caused you or will cause you when all of this comes out. The thing about the truth is it always does reveal itself and the bigger the lies the more it'll hurt someone. While all of this hurts me I know it will hurt you more and you don't deserve that neither of us do. TC mark

I Miss Having Someone To Miss

Posted: 09 Dec 2016 05:00 PM PST

Bianca des Jardins

I miss having someone to kiss goodbye to in the morning before we head our different directions to start the day. I miss having someone to send embarrassingly cute and corny texts to throughout the day because they’re the only person that’s on your mind.

I miss being excited to have someone drive to my house and pick me up for a date. I miss singing along in the car with someone and belting out the chorus together. I miss having someone to lie in bed with and talk when one of us has had a shitty day.

But more than anything, I miss having someone to miss.

I miss pulling someone a little closer when they're about to pull away from a hug because you don't want to let them go.

I miss spending a night together after sleeping alone for a week and feeling so safe and at home with him that nothing could ruin your mood. I miss counting down the days until you could see each other again.

I miss hearing, "I miss you, too" from someone and knowing they actually miss me.

I miss having someone who actually gave a shit about me. Someone who asked me how my day was, someone who knew I was lying when I said everything was fine, but had tears building in my eyes. I miss someone just being there more than anything. Someone to sit next to me and tell me we can get through this crazy life, together.

I have no interest in someone being half there, I don't want someone who is half there and that's all I get these days. Someone who is half there, half invested, but never fully, not incase someone better comes along then he can take his leg out of my life and run full sprint ahead into someone else's life.

That isn't the kind of love I'm interested in.

I don't want the half-assed love, the love that is born out of convenience, I've done it before and I hate it. And there are times I might miss having you around, but the missing is only temporary because you didn't have that much of an impact on my life.

Your memories won't linger in my head like a bad whiff of perfume, like the ones who truly loved me.

Thoughts of you will pass; they'll come and go like ripping off a Band-Aid, quick and only with a little bit sting.

I miss having someone to miss, someone who is head over heels for me, someone who is a little wild and crazy for me because that's how I am.

When I fall, I fall hard. I can't control my feet and I get all tripped up. I tangle and I fall, and the harder I fall the harder it is to get up. And I haven't fallen in a long while. These days my feet are doing a pretty good job of keeping their balance, but I also wouldn't mind falling again sometime soon because more than anything, I miss having someone to miss. TC mark

This Is Why He Ran Away When You Started Getting Close Based On His Zodiac Sign

Posted: 09 Dec 2016 04:00 PM PST

Thought.is
Thought.is

Aries

(March 21st to April 19th)

The Aries man loves his independence, and he also loves to flirt. He runs away when his partner becomes possessive or controlling (the Aries man does NOT like to be controlled). Don’t complain about how he stared at the attractive waitress every time she walked by, and don’t act like you need him 24/7, if you do, he’ll most likely run the other direction.

Taurus

(April 20th to May 21st)

Taurus men are extremely trustworthy, but they aren’t quick to trust others. Becoming too close too soon for a Taurus scares him because he doesn’t feel like he knows who you truly are yet, and whether or not you’re worth it for him. Give a Taurus man time before trying to tie him down. Let him get close to you first.

Gemini

(May 22nd to June 21st)

Unfortunately a Gemini man is very indecisive. He likes to keep his options opened because he wants the best, and he continues to question whether you’re it. He is fueled by thrill and excitement so when you start becoming close he’s afraid being with only one person will become monotonous and boring.

Cancer

(June 21st to July 22nd)

Cancer men are sadly insecure, and they love it when you make the first move, but it’s the moves that come after the first that make him run. The Cancer man becomes scared when you start getting close because he has an overwhelming amount of emotion towards you and he’s worried you might break his heart.

Leo

(July 23rd to August 22nd)

The Leo man is confident and he knows exactly what he wants, which is your attention, time, and energy. His confidence often leads him to believe that he’s the apple of every woman’s eye, which then leads him to becoming a perpetual bachelor. He runs when you attempt to get closer because his greatest fear is settling.

Virgo

(August 23rd to September 22nd)

Virgo men are notorious for wanting to take their time. They need to analyze and dissect every aspect of what you two have going on, and when you try to rush it they haven’t gathered all of the information they need. A Virgo man needs you to be patient.

Libra

(September 23rd to October 22nd)

Libra men are pretty superficial and they’re also very charming. Ironically, their charming personality makes you think they’re a perfect person to have a relationship with, but as soon as you start expressing the desire for anything ‘serious’ the Libra man becomes distant. He doesn’t like to deal with deep emotions and will avoid confrontation at all costs, so when you start getting closer he will slowly begin to move in the opposite direction without much notice or explanation.

Scorpio

(October 23rd to November 22nd)

The Scorpio man is very assertive, and competitive. He will most likely run away when you start getting close because he enjoys a challenge. Unfortunately, games are something the Scorpio man loves to play.

Sagittarius

(November 23rd to December 21st)

Sagittarius men love adventure and live for exploration. They imagine every possibility and want to experience them all. The Sagittarius man doesn’t want to get too close to you because he can’t remain in one place for very long. It takes a while for a Sagittarius man to let someone tie him down, and usually it’s after they’re convinced they’ve experienced every adventure the world has to offer.

Capricorn

(December 22nd to January 20th)

The Capricorn man is relentlessly practical, and his practicality often leads him to expect the worst, especially when it comes to relationships. He runs away when you start getting close because he fears you won’t be as serious as he needs you to be if he were to really let you in.

Aquarius

(January 21st to February 18th)

Aquarius men are allergic to emotions. He runs when you start getting close precisely for that reason, because you’re getting close, and he needs to detach himself as quickly as possible.

Pisces

(February 19th to March 20th)

The Pisces man loves love, but he loves it in a way that is unrealistic. He becomes distant when you get close because he has this idealized image of love that he doesn’t think you fit. TC mark

For The Nights That I Miss You

Posted: 09 Dec 2016 03:00 PM PST

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unsplash.com

I'll sing. I'll sing my favorite songs, the ones you didn't really like, the ones that deeply touched me but never made sense to you. I'll sing off key, I'll sing without perfection, I'll sing without trying to impress you. I'll sing because I have a voice and I want to use it, even if you never liked it.

I'll dance. I'll shake your memory off, I'll move my feet to the music and just get lost in it, for the first time, I'll get lost in the dance, not in you. For the first time, I'll dance for myself. I'll dance for my freedom.

I'll write. I'll write openly and honestly about our love, about my heartbreak, about your faults, about our fights, I'll write about you and I'm not going to worry about what you might think or what you might say. I'll write everything I wish I'd told you and everything I wish I had done and I'll write about you because this is how I heal, this is how I remember to forget you.

I'll cry. I'll cry about losing you and wanting you more than you ever did. I'll cry about the plans I made for us that never happened, about all the dreams I built around you that never came true. I'll cry because it hurts to convince myself that it's for the better. I'll cry till my tears run out.

I'll smile. When I remember our good times, when I remember how I loved you and how you made me feel. I'll smile because at least, at one point in time, you were everything I wanted and I saw a glimpse of what could be, a glimpse of us. I'll smile because you're no longer worth my tears.

I'll let go. When I remember that you could've had me but you walked away, when I realize that you could've fought harder but you gave up and when I look back on all the times I've missed you but you didn't miss me.

I'll stop. I'll stop missing you, I'll stop thinking about you, I'll stop caring about it all and I will stop dreaming and finally wake up.  TC mark

Rania Naim is a poet and the author of the book All The Words I Should Have Said.

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All The Words I Should Have Said is available as a physical and electronic book. You can buy it here

The Truth About The Girl That Acts Like She Doesn’t Care

Posted: 09 Dec 2016 02:01 PM PST

Unsplash, Tamara Bellis
Unsplash, Tamara Bellis

Let me let you in on a little secret. She cares. She cares a lot. She cares a painfully ridiculous amount. She probably cares more than you deserve. She just doesn't let it show.

Why?

Because that would make her vulnerable to you. That would put every feeling and emotion out on the table for the world to see. It scares her to know that at any moment, she might be the only one caring. She might be the only one with feelings and emotions.

So instead, she acts like she doesn’t care. She never lets her feelings show.

Where does that leave you? Should you question what she says? Is she sincerely being nice? Does she secretly want to be with you? Does she even like you? Does she even care? All valid questions that you may never know the answer to.

The problem with the girl that doesn't care is that she's fine on her own. She supports herself, she comforts herself, and she can take care of herself. She's so used to being by herself that she can't help but stay that way, even when she's not alone.

It's hard for her to let you in, because everyone else has always left. She's adjusted to "goodbye" and "we tried."

She knows what it's like to love harder and fall harder and land harder, because no one was ever there to catch her. She knows what it's like to be the only one trying, the only one caring.

She's good on her own, and nothing you say or do will change that. You can tell her a thousand times that you care about her, you're there for her, even that you need her. None of those things matter. She won't ever believe it.

Take it from the girl who doesn't care. She really does.

She values your presence, your opinions. She values you one hundred percent. She wishes she could do more to show it, but that's not who she is.

You'll catch a glimpse of it on rare occasions. It won't necessarily last long, but when it's there, you'll know. Don't take it personally when it goes away. Don't think that just because it's gone away, she's stopped caring.

She'll always care, even long after you stop. TC mark

To The Boy Who Broke My Heart, You Should Be Afraid Of Me

Posted: 09 Dec 2016 01:00 PM PST

 Allef Vinicius
Allef Vinicius

No, I will not stalk you 24/7 like you expect me to. I will not send you hate mails or "accidentally" drop by your house on a random day and "accidentally" break your window. You may think I'm that type of girl, and honestly, I think I can be just that. But I won't. You're not worth the effort and the time, and I will not give you that satisfaction.

But here's the thing, you should be afraid of me.

You hurt me. No, scratch that, you destroyed me, after all the bullsh*t you put me through. And what you don't know about me is that I don't let anyone trample on my feelings and get away just like no damage was caused. So let me be the one to say that I will destroy you, guaranteed. I will hurt you back, and you wouldn't even see it coming. And my revenge won't be delivered with sharp knives and sharper words. No, that's not how I play.

Say goodbye to the miserable girl who used to throw her self-respect out the window just to chase after you, even when you clearly don't seem to even give the slightest damn about her. Because when we meet again, that girl will be nowhere to find, and all that you're going to see is a woman toughened by the horrible moments she had to endure after you ran away like nothing happened.

And I promise you, she will be happy, and it will no longer be because of you. You'll realize that she managed to be happy, really happy, without you.

And it will destroy you so badly, because she used the remnants of her broken soul to make herself so much better than who she used to be.

I promise you, I will make sure that, at that moment, I have learned to love again. And it won't be you. Not anymore. The woman you will meet wouldn't be the same girl who gave you her entire heart and every good thing that came with it. You wouldn't even recognize her. I destroy you with the way you'd want me back, exactly like I want you to, but I would no longer be yours.

And when our eyes meet and you finally say hello, I will reply with a "thank you" instead. And that's when it'll hit you, that it has always been a game, and you lost.

That one person who was willing to love every unlovable thing about you. You lost her.

Trust me, you should be afraid of me. Because my success will be your destruction. My weapon will be myself. TC mark

What Makes Your Partner ‘Secretly Happy,’ Based On Their Zodiac Sign

Posted: 09 Dec 2016 12:00 PM PST

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unsplash.com

Aries

(March 21st to April 19th)

Doing about twenty different things (successfully) at the same time, consistently having purpose and a full schedule.

Taurus

(April 20th to May 21st)

Anything that inspires comfort: loose, relaxing clothes, being in their bed, candles, good wine, not being on a diet.

Gemini

(May 22nd to June 21st)

Dinnertime conversation that’s even better than the food, a new wardrobe, haircuts, any social event whatsoever.

Cancer

(June 22nd to July 22nd)

Small signs of physical affection – handholding, rubbing their back, a long hug, even just a reassuring squeeze of their fingers.

Leo

(July 23rd to August 22nd)

Hosting dinner parties and having all of your friends over, cheering other people up, good booze.

Virgo

(August 23rd to September 22nd)

Cozy nights in, being around down-to-earth people, books, cuddling with animals.

Libra

(September 23rd to October 22nd)

Giving toasts, coffee shops, everyone getting along, walks through nature.

Scorpio

(October 23rd to November 22nd)

Flirty teasing, reunions with friends, having an important hobby, lighthearted debates.

Sagittarius

(November 23rd to December 21st)

Being blunt, trying new restaurants, being invited to things, going on trips.

Capricorn

(December 22nd to January 20th)

Having time to themselves, dark comedies, putting together logistics for anything and everything.

Aquarius

(January 21st to February 18th)

Service work, being green, listening, small acts of kindness.

Pisces

(February 19th to March 20th)

Learning a new instrument, supporting the arts in any way whatsoever, exploring spirituality. TC mark