Thought Catalog


30 Real Naughty Texts That Will Make You Horny As Hell

Posted: 15 Dec 2016 08:00 PM PST

Flickr / Neto Baldo
Flickr / Neto Baldo

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12 Times To Give Him A Spontaneous Blowjob If You Want To Drive Him Absolutely Wild

Posted: 15 Dec 2016 07:00 PM PST

Thought.is
Thought.is

1. When he’s playing a video game, sit on the couch beside him and start rubbing his junk through his jeans, but don’t let him press pause. Say something innocent like, “Don’t let me distract you,” and see if he’s capable of beating the level with a hard-on. And if he can handle that, get on your knees and start sucking.

2. Reach over and grab him while he’s driving and you’re in the passenger seat. But once things get intense, make sure he pulls over safely to the side of the road, so you don’t end up in an embarrassing crash.

3. Give him oral during half-time. Or, if you can’t stand the sport he’s watching, you can make time move faster by sucking him in the middle of it. He can still look up to check the score if he wants, so there shouldn’t be any complaints.

4. When he tells you he’s going to take a shower, ask to join him. It’s much easier to blow him in the tub than to have traditional shower sex. And, if you’re worried about his personal hygiene, you can help him wash up before you go down.

5. Instead of waiting until you’re in the bedroom to initiate anything, kiss him when you catch him in the kitchen getting a drink. Then unzip his jeans and go down on him while he’s still standing.

6. If you wake up before he does, pull his dick out of his pajama pants and give him an early morning surprise (as long as he’s given you permission to do so ahead of time). That way, instead of waking up with morning wood, he’ll wake up with an orgasm.

7. When you’re at a party together, find an empty room to pull him into. It can be a bathroom, a broom closet, or your best friend’s bedroom. Just make sure that you’re quick, so you don’t get caught.

8. When you play Mario Kart or Monopoly or strip poker, make it worth your while. Tell him that, if he wins, you’ll reward him by giving him a blowjob. And of course, if you win, he has to go down on you.

9. The next time a sex scene pops on television, tell him it looks like fun and then rip his jeans off. If you’re into roleplaying, then you can even act like you’re the two characters on the screen.

10. Blow him as soon as you walk through his door. He’ll be expecting a hug or a kiss on the cheek. He won’t expect you to drop right to your knees and tell him you missed him with your lips.

11. If you’re willing to take a risk, give him a blowjob the next time you visit a bar or a restaurant. Ask him to walk you to the bathroom and then pull him inside of it to have a little fun.

12. Whenever the hell you want. If you ask your man, anytime is a good time for a blowjob. TC mark

23 Women Reveal The Absolute WORST Sexual Experience Of Their Lives

Posted: 15 Dec 2016 06:00 PM PST

Illustration by Daniella Urdinlaiz / lookcatalog
Illustration by Daniella Urdinlaiz / lookcatalog
Found on AskReddit.

1. His orgasm was like an epileptic convulsion.

"His orgasm was like an epileptic convulsion. If he were on top when he came, he would lose all control, fall and flop about like a fish. It was as dangerous as it was a turnoff."

AmazingGraced


2. He bit my clit. Hard.

"I’ve said this before but he bit my clit. Hard."

Dial-1-800-ANGEL


3. He had a micropenis. I had no warning.

"He had a micropenis. I had no warning."

JezebelleFiona


4. Humping a snake would have been hotter.

"I think he was trying to be a sexy snake of something. When he was moving down from my face to my twat, he kept swaying side to side in some fashion that I think he thought was sexy. After that the oral was bad, his dick was about an inch wide and maybe four inches long, didn’t feel much. I think humping a snake would have been hotter."

AugmentedOnionFarmer


5. He proceeds to make his cats 'talk' to me in a high-pitched voice for an uncomfortable amount of time.

"I have plenty of 'bad sex' stories, but this is my favorite: It was my first time hanging out with this guy I met online. My car was in the shop so he picks me up and we go out. We have a bite to eat and he seems like a pretty chill guy/not a psychopath, so we head back to his house. As soon as we walk through the door he tells me that he needs to introduce me to his cats. I like cats so I thought it was kind of sweet… But then he gets real serious and tells me that if his cats don’t like me he’s taking me right home. Alright, fair enough…? Then he proceeds to make his cats 'talk' to me in a high-pitched voice for an uncomfortable amount of time. Like I said, I love cats but this was awkward, not to mention a major mood killer. Apparently the cats approved, because we ended up in the bedroom….

…and that’s when I broke his dick.

The car ride home was uncomfortable, to say the least."

a_tiny_bug_irl


6. He’s still wearing his ribbed tank-top. And his socks.

"When I was about 13, I had a huge crush on this guy. He wound up dating my cousin, and my best friend, all while ignorant of my huge crush. He moves, and we really only vaguely connect back on Facebook. Until one day he messages me, saying he’s going to be in the city I had recently moved to for the weekend, and he wanted to meet up and get some drinks.

Long story short, the next night I’m in his shitty motel room, having sex with this guy I’d been in love with ten years before, and I realize something. He’s still wearing his ribbed tank-top. And his socks.

Not to mention, he’s really not very good at all.

My 13-year-old self was extremely let down."

OpheliaDrowns


7. Diarrhea pours out of me onto the bed mid-pounding.

"I’d been a bit sick for a couple of days beforehand. Just a cold; some lightheadedness, a bit queasy, but I was getting better. We’re having missionary sex with my legs wrapped around him. He’s bouncing on me to go all the way in and out quickly each bounce.

I’m feeling gassy, trying to enjoy the sex without my body distracting my hormones too much. I figure a fart isn’t too bad but I still work to hold it in for the sake of sexual atmosphere. Then one of his deep thrusts knocks away my control.

Diarrhea pours out of me onto the bed mid-pounding.

Oh god.
.
…Oh god…"

noisypeach


8. Thought my clit was going to be disfigured for life.

"The worst sex I had didn’t involve penetration but it was oral sex. I was on the receiving end and this guy was being really rough. I tried to tolerate it but after just a minute I had to stop him. What was he doing? Chewing down there? Sucking the life out of my clit? I never felt anything like it but it sucked.

Whatever it was he did had my clit swollen up 10x its normal size. Like it was flowering out of my labia like a balloon. I couldn’t wear pants. Took a sick day from school the next day since I couldn’t get dressed and even walking was making me miserable. Thought my clit was going to be disfigured for life, but it went down in a few days."

Yogadork


9. After maybe 2 minutes in, he came all over my leg. Didn’t even get to the penetration!.

"Guy was grinding and rubbing on my leg kissing me. After maybe 2 minutes in, he came all over my leg. Didn’t even get to the penetration!"

MotherGaysha


10. After about five minutes he abruptly stopped and said, 'I finished, like, a while ago.'.

"After about five minutes he abruptly stopped and said, 'I finished, like, a while ago.'

I was like, '…what?'"

jilliefish


11. He whispered 'I have a penis!' into my ear.

"Asked my shy boyfriend to talk dirty to me during sex, and after getting him going with all the filthy shit I could think of, he moaned, grunted, worked up the courage and whispered sexily and in total earnest, 'I have a penis!' To be fair, this is totally not the worst sex I’ve had. A good in-the-act laugh, however unintended, can be fun. But it’s still one of my favorite stories."

isladecuba


12. I ended up covered in puke and blood…and it wasn’t even my own.

"The sex was pretty meh beforehand but really took a turn when he puked all over me, I jumped up and my elbow connected with his lip busting it open. So not only did I have unfulfilled and unsatisfactory sex, I ended up covered in puke and blood…and it wasn’t even my own."

RKola


13. He was done in three thrusts and obviously used a too-big condom as he LEFT IT INSIDE ME!

"I’d been chatting to a guy online and discovered that he literally lived about 4 doors down from me, so we decided to hook up. I was 18 and still living with my dad, so we figured his place since he was 26.

I wander round, he answers the door and we head straight to the bedroom. He undresses and is already hard and 'suited up,' which really should have been my first hint that it wasn’t going to be fantastic. But oh well, I’m horny and fairly inexperienced, so let’s go.

Well, he yanks my skirt up and just goes right in, no foreplay, nothing. Three thrusts later as I’m still trying to work out what the fuck is happening, he abruptly stops, pulls out and says, and I quote here, 'You’re obviously not that into it. You should just go home. Now, because my mum will be back any minute.'

Whatever, I am totally done here even without him mentioning the m word, so I don’t even stop to put my underwear back on, just walk out the door. A few steps into my walk home I’m thinking it feels a bit weird down there, so I reach down and pull out… a condom. A FULL condom. He was done in three thrusts and obviously used a too-big condom as he LEFT IT INSIDE ME! Then tried to cover up his slight issue with premature ejaculation, by claiming I was the problem.
0/10 never again.

TL;DR: He came in three thrusts and left the full condom inside me…"

tigerjess


14. He was not well endowed. Look at your pinky.

"I am not a size queen by any means but, sex is not just about penetration. if you aren't gifted in some areas, be willing to participate in others.

He lived across the hall in rez, he was funny, we flirted, we hooked up. he…was not well endowed. look at your pinky. he also wouldn’t do any foreplay. nothing. not even fingers. then he pulls out FUCKING Magnums. and this is when I knew I was just drifting down the river of denial and my final destination would be sad vibrator orgasm city. so, no foreplay, way too big condom, I try and say I really just want to suck him off, try to save the evening and make something of it. NOPE in he goes! Three thrusts, tells me I'm too loose, I must be a whore. so I noped out of there."

Zorrya


15. I got to walk home with toilet paper shoved up my nose.

"I was getting face fucked in the shower when the guy got a little overconfident and slammed my head down hard onto his dick. My nose slammed into his pubic bone and when I moved my head back blood was pouring out of my nose. Needless to say, he made a quick excuse of being tired and I got to walk home with toilet paper shoved up my nose."

gaybadger


16. I didn’t cum. I cum if you look at me right, so that says a lot.

"He wanted to watch anime before and after. His room and place was filthy and I got no foreplay. He had a big dick but no clue how to use it and finished early. I didn’t cum. I cum if you look at me right, so that says a lot. I left as soon as it was polite."

mistressfluffybutt


17. At one point he whispered, 'It hurts more than you thought it would, doesn’t it?'

"The first time. He was 8 years older than me and basically talked me into it when I was in a deep depression. I was dry af and it really hurt and I started crying during the sex (don’t worry, it didn’t ruin things for him). Heh. At one point he whispered, 'It hurts more than you thought it would, doesn’t it?' Bonus lame point: when he was dropping me off, I was all 'does this mean I’m not a virgin anymore?' Also he didn’t call me after. Of course.

Double bonus: He was a pedophile who later did time for child porn charges. He liked ’em young! (I was 17, so legal in my state, but looked younger). One of his friends even said I was older than the girls he usually went for."

Paisley_hippo


18. He leaned over, whispered 'I love you,' and I felt a wet spot on my leg.

"Clingy not-quite-boyfriend, wanted more than I did out of the relationship. One afternoon we were hanging out, he kept edging closer to me. I wasn’t sure if he was cold, wanted a cuddle, or what; he never said a word, just kept staring straight ahead at whatever PG-13 teen movie we were watching and sitting uncomfortably close. Every once in a while he’d sort of rub on my leg; I thought he was just trying to get comfortable. Nope.

He leaned over, whispered 'I love you,' and I felt a wet spot on my leg.

We didn’t talk much after that day."

my_random_thots


19. When I didn't cum he said, 'You came close though, right? That's what counts.'

"There was this really gorgeous Brazilian guy on the soccer team at my college. We knew each other and were really friendly for about a year and a half before things happened. He came over, and I was really, really excited to get with him. He stumbles in a bit drunk, but still smiling and he seems excited too. We start making out on my bed.

Clothes come off and he starts eating me out. I lay back and relax, closing my eyes and focusing on the sensation….except it feels….off? Like, really blunt and not enough pressure or something. I look down and see he’s closing his eyes just drunkenly dragging his face back and forth over my entire pussy. Real turn off.

I should have sent him home, but I honestly didn’t even think about it in the moment. He somehow gets it up and after like, two minutes he’s apparently done and jumps off my bed, starting to put his clothes on. I’m really disappointed, I ask him 'you’re leaving? Really? At least help me finish…' And he responded with 'Oh, my friend is waiting for me. You came close though, right? That’s what’s counts.' And walked out.

Texted my roommate that she could come back not even 20 minutes after I let him in the building. Really embarrassing.

Fucking jocks."

TractorPants


20. We had awkward sex while his roommate cried next door.

"I’ve had lots of bad sex, boring or tiny penis you can’t feel at all… but the worst was when I started dating this guy who was older than me and a 'scientist.' It sounded so cool to me that I put up with his weirdness. He lived in this house where he rented a room and had weird roommates. One roommate he told me was morbidly obese and never left the house. I never met them. Anyway, dude I was dating had a big schlong but had zero idea how to use it. His tiny room was mostly a computer and clothes, and he slept on a foam sheet on the floor. He would only have sex missionary and super slow. I was miserable each time. But the worst sex was we were slowly going at it and I start hearing this weird sound from outside. Sounded like a cat meowing, or maybe a baby crying. I ask him if he hears it and he says “oh that’s bob (roommate), he’s changing the dressings on his legs and it’s so painful he cries while he does it.” Didn’t stop his weird slow thrusting at all. I noped out of there. Ended up dumping him for a multitude of reasons a little later on, but that awkward sex while his roommate cried next door will always be remembered."

dat_taffy_butt


21. He had talons for nails, so everything hurt.

"Ughhhhhh! this guy. his penis was long but quite thin and he just didn’t know what he was doing….He had talons for nails, so everything hurt."

LadyGaga_luvs_U


22. I wound up just hurling all over him.

"My boyfriend and I have been into BDSM basically since the day we got together. He’s usually a dom, I’m usually a sub, and we do the Daddy Dom/little sub kink. This was a couple of years ago, so we couldn’t have been together long. He made me a grilled cheese and homemade tomato soup for dinner (I like comfort food), and I was very full. We were horny little assholes, so we fucked like an hour later. At the end, he had me get on my knees and be ready for him to cum in my mouth. Before I could swallow, I had to hold it on my tongue to show him how much cum I could take. In a moment of horrific inspiration, he decided to add on to the cold load on my tongue by spitting in my mouth. I immediately projectile puked tomato soup, grilled cheese, cum, and spit. In a moment of panic, my boyfriend shot his hands out to catch the puke mid-air and I wound up just hurling all over him.

As soon as I realized what I did, I screamed and ran to the bathroom and sobbed for like half an hour while he cleaned up. Eventually I let him into the bathroom, confident he was going to dump me and tell me to get out. Instead he sheepishly apologized for being a huge idiot and we had a great laugh about it."

smutwitch


23. I accidentally pushed him into the pond.

"Was at a party at a friend’s house and hooked up with a guy in the yard out back by the koi pond. A cop car with its siren on drove past (turned out to be something totally unrelated) and we freaked out thinking we’d get busted for indecent exposure or something. We were having sex with him sitting in a lawn chair and me straddling him, and in my hurry to get off him and look like we weren’t doing anything I accidentally pushed him into the pond."

Petronella23 TC mark

Read this: 23 Men Reveal The Absolute WORST Sexual Experience Of Their Lives

When He Asked If He Could Touch Me In Public

Posted: 15 Dec 2016 05:00 PM PST

thought.is
thought.is

Please let me, he begged,
his hands grasping my inner thighs, bare, sun-kissed.
I scrunched my turquoise dress with my fingers,
turning my knees inward,
telling him, soundlessly, not yet,
my feet dangling, sitting, contently, on the splintered wooden beam,
the roaring ocean hundred feet below.
I peered over his shoulder,
looking toward the shore,
at the end of the quarter-mile-long pier,
desolate and dark, only the moon illuminating the pathway.

I peered over my shoulder,
out, into the vastness
and then down below,
the moon’s light sparkling against the ocean’s surface,
begging us to stay right here,
to enjoy this moment.

I pulled him in again, grabbing onto his shirt,
kissing, tasting him, the fish and chips on his mouth,

and then opened my legs.

The 90-degree wind tousled my hair.

I watched him between my legs,
his hold firmer,
listening to my directions,
and I clenched the beam harder with my feet
with each moan,
one hand over mouth,
trying not to scream,
trying not to let the pier’s security guard know I was here,
against the rules,
with a man between my legs.

I looked out into the dark sky again,
the wind picking up as I felt it build,
and the smirk on my face grew into oblivion. TC mark

10 Things You Don’t Realize People Are Doing Because They’re Ridiculously Insecure

Posted: 15 Dec 2016 04:00 PM PST

 Lesia.Valentain
Lesia.Valentain

1. Putting other people down.

Show me a person who is constantly finding fault with other people and I will show you someone who is absolutely riddled with insecurity.

Truly self-confident people aren't threatened by the shortcomings of others – they like themselves just as they are, so they don't need to pit themselves against others to feel better about themselves. In the words of Mark Twain, "Truly great people make you feel that you, too, can become great."

2. Failing to ever surrender control.

Self-confident people know that they can adapt to most situations, even if it feels a bit uncomfortable at first.

It's only people who lack self-esteem who feel as though they have to control every miniscule detail of their environments. They need to create a situation that they know they'll feel confident in, because their confidence is context-dependent, rather than an internal trait.

3. Shoving their lives down your throat.

People who have the recognition that they believe they deserve don't need to endlessly boast and brag. It's the people who feel as though they're going unnoticed who are the loudest and the most relentless about their accomplishments.

Show me a person who is constantly talking about themselves and I will show you a person who secretly feels small and unloved.

4. Refusing to admit that they've made a mistake.

People with a strong sense of self know that from time to time, they mess up. They can humbly admit it, and move on.

Insecure people, on the other hand, need to cling to the idea they have of themselves as morally flawless. They can't bear to face the thought of having done something wrong, so they point the finger at others when they've messed up and refuse to ever say that they're sorry.

5. Guilt-tripping you.

People who are self-confident don't need others to concede to their wishes – because their self-worth doesn't rest on external validation. When someone is constantly requiring you to prove your love for them, chances are they don't have a whole lot of love for themselves. And so they need to guilt and manipulate others into paying attention to them.

6. Making excuses for not going after the things they want.

Insecure people never want to take responsibility for their circumstances – instead, they look for excuses to keep themselves small. If they can chalk all their misfortune up to bad luck, it saves them from having to take responsibility for it – and therefore from having to try to actually change things.

7. Deliberately engaging with things that make them unhappy.

You know that co-worker who endlessly complains about their job but never quits, or that friend who's unhappy in their relationship but will not leave? It is almost definitely a lack of self-esteem that is keeping them stuck.

Confident people simply walk away from the things that do not serve them. Insecure people, on the other hand, continue to engage with the things that drive them crazy – because those things feed into their hostile worldview and provide them with an extended opportunity to feel sorry for themselves (see point #6).

8. Chasing perfection.

Truly confident people know that perfection is an impossible (and ever-moving) target. They look at situations through the lens of reality, rather than idealism.

Insecure people, on the other hand, chase perfection at all costs. They decide that they'll be 'enough' for themselves and for the world once they've reached it – not realizing that they're simply creating excuses for themselves not to try (because they are not prepared to deal with a potential failure).

9. Closing themselves off to new situations.

Insecure people keep their worlds small, so that they never have to feel overwhelmed. They don't trust themselves to handle major changes, so they refuse to entertain them – and instead they stay right where they're sure they're comfortable.

10. Constantly exaggerating the differences between themselves and others.

Perhaps the single most sure-fire sign of a person who lacks true self-esteem is their need to point out differences between themselves and others.

Those who are truly confident search for connection – they identify traits and experiences they have in common with other people and they bond over them. They understand that connection and love are at the core of their human needs.

Those who are insecure seek to keep themselves distanced from others at all costs. They want to show that they are vastly unlike everyone around them – because some part of themselves (wrongly) suspects, deep down, that if everyone else saw them for who they really were, everyone else would hate them as much as they hate themselves. TC mark

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22 Shady ‘Bachelor’ Secrets To Keep In Mind If You Think Nick Viall Is About To Find Love

Posted: 15 Dec 2016 03:42 PM PST

Nick Viall Instagram
Nick Viall Instagram

ABC does a lot of painstaking work to make The Bachelor look like a fairytale. They show us limos and helicopter dates, beautiful people with overprotective families whose biggest flaw is that they’re a single parent or have a glass of wine too many on camera. What they don’t show is the seedy underbelly: how producers provide copius booze and little food to get ‘the best’ storylines (re: drunk contestants), how short the ‘seasons’ actually are (they refer to each date taking place in a different ‘week’ which, lol, no), and how non-romantic and manufactured the whole process is. Read on for the juiciest behind-the-scenes insights I’ve gathered from the most loose-lipped members of #BachelorNation.

Before getting engaged, you spend ‘max 72 hours’ with the person you pick

“You spend so little time with the person you choose before the final rose ceremony. I would say you probably spend about 72 hours tops with the person you wind up choosing, and 12 of that is spent ‘sleeping’ in the fantasy suite. You can’t really get to know a person in that time frame.” — Ali Fedotowsky

Life after the show isn’t always that great

“I lost hair, got down to 92 pounds, and formed an anxiety disorder.” — Jillian Harris

Ben Flajnik Instagram
Ben Flajnik Instagram

Sometimes the bachelors are actually just assholes

“When we were in Panama, we visited a poor local village and hung out with the natives. It was cold and rainy that day, and we all infamously wore skimpy bikinis adorned with beautiful beads made by the tribal women (Ben wore a loincloth with nothing underneath). Well, all the ladies were cold and miserable but sucking it up. I'll never forget what Ben said right in front of these wonderful people, as we ate cold sandwiches in one of their huts, which had no indoor plumbing. "I can't wait to get back to the hotel and take a hot shower and have a warm meal," he moaned. I was totally grossed out and he became so unattractive, I didn't care about getting a rose. "I like these cold sandwiches," I shot back.” — Jamie Otis, Ben Flajnik’s season

The contestants really aren’t there ‘for the right reasons’

“People think, we’re desperate to find love, we have a hard time [dating] in real life, so we’re going to go on a reality show to find love? Give me a break.” — Sharleen Joynt, Juan Pablo’s season

“I go work the next day, and I realize working really sucks, and a free vacation sounds really good right now. So that was my motivation behind getting on The Bachelorette.” — Sean Lowe

Producers secretly ‘date’ the contestants

“There are more of these producer/contestant relationships than viewers realize—they’re always kept hush-hush.” — Jamie Otis, Ben Flajnik’s season

Jojo Fletcher's Instagram
Jojo Fletcher’s Instagram

You need serious $$$ to be a contestant — you must bring 14 evening gowns with you

“I know that there are women in the past who cashed out their 401(k)s for the show… some have gone into serious credit card debt.” — Dana Weiss, Bachelor fashion recapper

“I had re-mortgaged my house and I spent something like $8,000 on clothing” — Jillian Harris

“I’m the girliest of my friends, but when I joined The Bachelor, I was like, “I don’t even compare to these girls!” I met Michelle Money in Paradise, and when she arrived, she showed up with three suitcases full of makeup and accessories alone. It was all categorized and labeled in Tupperware. I was like, “What am I getting myself into?” I had a breakdown because the girls put so much effort into their appearance and I do not. It’s not my thing.” — Sarah Herron, Sean Lowe’s season

And you don’t get paid to be a contestant (though you do get something to be the bachelor/bachelorette)

“You don't do The Bachelor to make money, I will say that. There are opportunities post-Bachelor sometimes, but as the bachelor they really just match whatever you'd be making in the real world during the months that it tapes. And then you have the experience that kind of pays for the rest.” — Ben Higgins

Ben Higgins' Instagram
Ben Higgins’ Instagram

Producers don’t show un-romantic conversations — like those about religion and money

“I would never have proposed to Lauren if our faith wasn't talked about before our engagement. But I think I get it when I watch the show back. Yeah, it'd be great to have that shown, but as far as the overall storyline, the overall storyline is that we fell in love, and that's a beautiful thing. And that's what was shown. But yeah, those conversations are definitely had, but a lot later. Not had with every woman there. They usually take place a couple weeks down the road.” — Ben Higgins

Getting a rose means making a fool out of yourself

“And the seven episodes I made it through were torture for me. I had zero friends—I was the unpopular outsider who never found a clique. I was scared and anxious and lonely. Ben barely knew I was alive and even the producers started giving up on me. I'd never been a quitter so, as Courtney would say, I pulled on my big girl panties and decided to try hard one last time to capture Ben's heart. Chris Harrison encouraged me to "open up" and in Bachelor terms that meant two things.

1. Open up about something traumatic…
2. Do something sexual. Ben had already made out with everyone in our house, except for me. As we all know by now, this would be difficult because I was still the most awkward person on the planet sexually. But I wasn't a quitter and Ben didn't deserve Option No. 1 so I decided to go with Option No. 2.” — Jamie Otis, Ben Flajnik’s season

Filming the rose ceremony takes all night

“We didn't start until 7 at night and we didn't finish until 8 in the morning!” — Leslie Hughes, Sean Lowe’s season

You don’t actually get to eat any of the nice food on the fancy dinner dates

“Before we [he and the girls] went on the date[s], the producers sent food to our hotel rooms. We ate in our rooms and then went out for dinner.” — Sean Lowe

The psychological testing is actually insane

“They lock you in a hotel room for three days and give you a psychological evaluation.” — Jesse Csincsak, Deanna Pappas’ season

Lauren Bushnell Instagram
Lauren Bushnell Instagram

You have to stay together for two years after the show — or give up your Neil Lane diamond

“The Bachelorette's standard contract specifies that the ring remains the property of the show's producers unless the couple remains together for two consecutive years. They do not have to marry within that time period.” — Radar Online

The fantasy suite isn’t as sexy as it seems

“It's the first time that you can put your guard down in terms of just turning things off. Lauren and I sat in silence for the first time on our fantasy suite date. Having just even that night with her allowed me to see, like, I would just love to spend every night with her. I think there's a stigma behind the fantasy suite date that's sometimes correct, sometimes isn't, but really that is an important date. It should be a week during The Bachelor that fans look at and say, there's gonna be a lot that happens that can sway a decision.” — Ben Higgins

Courtney Robertson Instagram
Courtney Robertson Instagram

But people **are** having sex on the show

"To answer your question, yes. Ben and I did have sex in the ocean. On-camera. It was immediate but it was only for about 20 seconds and, um, it was just the tip.” — Courtney Robertson, Ben Flajnik’s season

and also this gem:

“We did every position under the sun, but I believe I sealed the deal when we successfully completed the reverse cowgirl.” — Courtney Robertson, Ben Flajnik’s season

Producers make the girls redo their date looks to interview them after the fact

“They want to make it seem like we’re on that same location with a similar background, so they would tell me what my outfit was and what my hair and makeup was like and I had to do it. This was annoying when I wanted my hair to be straight for the night but had pickups during the day.” — Catherine Lowe, Sean Lowe’s season

Sometimes the bachelor/bachelorette decide long before the final rose ceremony

“There are a lot of special moments that the camera doesn't capture. My favorite was when Sean [Lowe] slipped me a note during our flight to St. Croix. He did it secretively so no one else could see. He had crossed out the destination on his airline ticket and written 'Snugglesville' instead…letting me know he wanted to cuddle with me and no one else.” — Catherine Lowe, Sean Lowe’s season

The women still find time for… personal exploration

“Luckily, most of us had brought vibrators. Some of the girls would names their sex toys and sing songs about them when we were going to bed. I highly advise all future contestants to pack a vibrator. You're going to need it!” — Lacy Faddoul, Juan Pablo’s season

Andi Dorfman Instagram
Andi Dorfman Instagram

The hometown dates aren’t always their actual homes

“I have heard that some people will do their hometown in a different house…like an uncle's house or a rich grandfather's house.” — Andi Dorfman

You’re not allowed phones or internet access, or even magazines or books

“Well, you can’t leave the mansion or hotel you’re staying at. We’d sometimes get 30 minutes of gym time. Actually, there was one time they allowed us to get our nails done, and it was a big deal. There are these things called “dark days” on the day after the rose-ceremony taping. Rose ceremonies last until 4 a.m. or 6 a.m. so the next day is dark. One time, they allowed us to watch movie. Another time, we went to a spa and could get two things done.” — Catherine Lowe, Sean Lowe’s season

“When the cameras aren’t rolling, they don’t want you to talk to anyone. And there are no phones, computers, newspapers, nothing. Only producers. Your body becomes starved for a connection with anyone, which makes it easier to fall in love. You’re starving for that intimacy. It was like Stockholm syndrome, but it’s a TV show.” — Jillian Harris

Jillian Harris Instagram
Jillian Harris Instagram

Producers will try to make participants lose ‘undesirable’ accents

“Apparently they didn’t like my Canadian accent so they had me go to speech therapy, but after three or four classes, the producers realized I was losing my quirkiness so they cancelled the classes. I wasn’t offended because I was the show’s first out-of-country person. They were just afraid Americans wouldn’t be able to connect.” — Jillian Harris

Chris Harrison gives good beauty tips

“Chris Harrison, who became a good friend, taught me this one: Midol with caffeine. I’d take one on days that I was tired and bloated. It’s a diuretic. If my face was puffy, it would debloat me, and it has a painkiller so it made my feet feel better in heels. Now, before I go out at night, I’ll take one an hour before. It’s really no different from taking Advil.” — Jillian Harris TC mark

11 Men Reveal Exactly What It’s Like To Propose To ‘The One’ And Get Flat-Out Rejected

Posted: 15 Dec 2016 03:00 PM PST

Sean Kobi Sandoval - www.instagram.com/seankobisandoval/
Sean Kobi Sandoval –
www.instagram.com/seankobisandoval/

1. At Least She Was Truthful

I asked her 3 months after she got out of hospital, after a serious car crash (just herself, at a highway which nearly killed her). We had been dating for 4 years and it was in the park. She said no in a small voice, amidst the squirrel chirping.

I won’t lie, it did sting big and it did suck for a while. But I don’t hold it against her. Better to get a truthful ‘No,” then a lying “Yes,” which sets it up for divorce later. We broke up after a few days. Haven’t spoken to her in years, but I hope she’s healed well from the trauma.

2. He Wasn’t Rich Enough

Not me personally, but my roommate moved to Alabama for a while and dated a chick for 2 years. Her family was super rich, she was gorgeous, so of course he fell head over heels for her. He dropped 5 grand on a ring, proposed to her at a Bama game, and she straight up told him no, and that he should actually move away because he had no future where he was living, which he did the very next day.

3. Sometimes Cold Feet Freeze Over

When I asked my ex to marry me, she said yes. It would have been better if she had said no.

We’d been together since our late teens, for 10 years. By the 5 year mark I knew I wanted to marry her. I had convinced myself she would say no if I didn’t have my career together, or even my own mind right. So I spent sometime focusing on progressing in those areas. Even progressed in us, mostly. A few times she said that if I had asked her to marry her she’d say no. Sometimes she wasn’t ready, sometimes I wasn’t.

Then she started dropping serious hints that she needed it, so I started planning. I spent months budgeting out a ring (we were always pretty broke), figuring out HOW. I could never keep a secret from her, so I didn’t ask any of her friends things. I knew her, I didn’t need to know anything else about asking her to marry me. I had to own this, this had to be a strong commitment.

So is asked her. I gave her the best ring I could afford, and she said yes. We went out for a fabulous dinner. This was just after our 10 year anniversary.

She didn’t want to tell any of our friends. Any of our family. That should have been a clue.

7 months later we broke up. She’d been having doubts since before I asked her. I actually broke off with her because I found out shed been lying to me for months, and betraying me for at least one.

Of all the times in our relationship that she had more balls than me, they apparently went away that one night.

4. She Left For An Older Man…Then Called Me After He Dumped Her

We had been together off and on for about 4 years. We were in our longest and best on-period, and I proposed. Told her I wanted her to be my wife and the mother of my children, etc.

She frowned and said, “Well…I’m kinda dating [guy friend I met once] and I think he’s the one.”

[Guy friend I met once] was in his late 40’s. She was in her mid-20’s. She called me up a few months later after he got bored of her. I laughed at her.

5. If She Says No Then It Basically Ends The Relationship

We’d been dating for about 4 years, with plenty of good times and plenty of bad times, but with the assumption that we were in it for good. We were about 25-26. Unfortunately I wasn’t the best at communicating (this whole experience really kicked me into gear working on that), and so I asked the question before we had flat out discussed marriage. I asked while we were at home, nothing special but it just felt like the right moment (yes, I did have a ring, it was well planned in that regard).

Initially, her answer was yes, but by the next morning she’d had time to think about it and decided that she wasn’t ready yet, which I understood and so we put the ring on a shelf and I told her that the ball was in her court, to just let me know when she was ready. In retrospect, I think her answer was always yes, and she was just waiting for me to bring up the conversation again, but as the months and years went by without anything happening (remember that whole being bad at communicating thing?), I felt the distance between us growing, I formed some resentment, but mostly I just stopped feeling that way about her. I felt stuck and trapped and didn’t know how to fix it. I’ve had a couple years to think about it now and I really do think a lot of it came down to that looming marriage thing that made me feel like nothing was moving forward with us, but at the time all I knew was that it didn’t feel right.

So unsurprisingly in the end we did break up, and while we were talking about it when the issue of the proposal came up it came out that she was waiting for me to bring it up just as I was waiting for her. Too late at that point, and I’ve since found a girl I do love, but I still get irritated about that relationship, partially because after all the time I put into it nothing came of it, and partially because as I gain more distance and understanding of what happened, it was such a stupid reason for things to end, that could have been remedied so easily if we’d just talked. Not to say we didn’t talk, but never about what we needed to.

6. She Felt She Was Living A Lie

I asked my SO to marry me after out 2 year anniversary. We had talked about marriage extensively, and I was sure she was going to say yes. I spent about a grand on a ring, which was a lot for my income. I proposed when she came home, and she said yes. I was overjoyed. I was going to marry my first girlfriend, and my best friend I’ve ever had. I told my family and friends, and immediately started planning the event. We were just going to have a small wedding, and not spend much money. About a month before the wedding, she told me she didn’t love me anymore, and was living a lie by staying with me. I moved out that day, and haven’t quite been the same since. Suffered severe depression and anxiety for months after. I would’ve preferred a simple no.

7. To Love Is To Want What’s Best For Them Even At Your Own Expense

I proposed to a girlfriend of a few years. Wanted so much for it to work. It was in public but I was discreet. She didn’t give a super emphatic yes and just kind of went along with it, which worried me but I wasn’t going to raise an issue if she was going along with it. She did seem happy about it and told some people.

Eventually I saw the writing on the wall and could feel the conflict within her, because she knew how much I loved her, how much I’d done for her, how I selfishly expressed that I needed her. I broke things off and let her go. To love is to want what’s best for them even at your own expense, I live and die by this.

8. Proposed For All The Wrong Reasons

In hindsight it was a pretty jerk move for me to propose.

I was 26 and had been dating this girl (let’s call her Mona) for 9 months. She had moved to my town for work and we’d met when a friend of mine had brought her “new colleague from out of town” to a BBQ another friend was having. I had just come out of a relationship in which I had strong suspicions I’d been left for another guy (turns out I was wrong). I was keen to date in general, as in it didn’t have to be a specific girl, just anyone, to prove to myself I still “had it” and to prove to my ex she’d made a mistake.Mona was just keen to meet people in general, I think.

Looking back the nine months we spent together was nice but that’s about it. There was no deep closeness, the kind you feel when you find someone you think is “the one”. We were just comfortable, our lives and friends supported the existence of the relationship.

A few things combined led to my proposal:

  • Mona was offered a promotion at work that would move her back interstate – she was going to take it.
  • We attended two weddings together which had been fun and romantic in the way that makes you forget that weddings are really stressful for the people involved.
  • People in my life (friends and siblings) were all pairing off and I was scared of being alone.

When I started to plan the proposal I guess I was doing the whole thing with blinders on. In my head there was no option for a negative response. You don’t hear about that very often and I guess I thought that just me making the decision was all that had to be done. It’s almost as if I completely erased her from the equation. In my foolishness I thought the timing of the proposal was romantic and grand but really it was the worst timing ever.

I proposed to Mona at her own farewell party. Most people she knew were my friends and they were all there (about fifteen people). I didn’t tell anyone I planned to propose. Mona and I hadn’t even discussed how we would manage our relationship once she left. I’d bought a ring at a sale at the local mall (I later discovered she only wore silver and the ring was gold). As I’m writing this I’m getting really annoyed at myself for not hearing all these alarm bells.

So, after a nice group dinner I got up for my big moment. I had a bit to drink for the nerves which didn’t help. I rambled for a bit, I guess it just seemed like a bad farewell speech. A friend later told me he didn’t know why I was trying to be so formal, he thought I was farewelling her like a colleague. Mona was politely smiling for the whole thing but wasn’t particularly moved. It occurred to me as I neared the moment that in order for me to do the down on one knee thing I needed her to stand up. So I asked her to stand and she just shook her head and said, “no no I’m fine” or something like that (I still wonder whether at that point she sensed what was coming). Her girlfriend sitting next to her kind of shoved her up to standing. I was a bit lost at this stage trying to fumble the velvet box out of my pants pocket and in my pause she started to raise her glass in order to wrap me up I guess. The others at the table started to raise their glasses too. I got the box out and dropped down on one knee, knocking over my chair with my back leg as I did so a waitress came over to pick it up.

What I remember then was me saying “marry me?” but in this weak kind of quiet voice. One of my friends started to clap but then stopped. Mona kind of looked horrified, she still had her glass up and was craning her neck to look down at me. Then she bent down to me and said in my ear, “is it ok if we talk about this later?”. She didn’t even look at the ring. I had not prepared for that. I just got up awkwardly from my knee, using my hand to push me up on the table which tilted in and a spilled a few drinks that people tried to save. Mona sat down then quickly went to the bathroom with her girlfriend.

The rest of the night passed in a weird haze. I drank a lot more. No one was talking (at least to me) about what just played out. I had a long rambling discussion with some guy I barely knew about the war in Iraq. Mona came back to the table but we didn’t talk.

Mona called the next day. To her credit she wasn’t cruel. She just said she wasn’t ready, she was moving, she didn’t know I felt that way, she apologised. I was pretty numb. I knew we were breaking up. Even though I had thought I would spend my life with her the day before I didn’t put up any fight. We only saw each other a couple of times after that just to exchange belongings. We didn’t speak about the proposal.

Only a few friends have ever brought it up with me and no one has tales about it for years. I don’t see or hear from Mona anymore, as far as I know neither do my old friends. Thankfully, no one has ever brought it up with my now wife (whom I proposed to alone, after we talked about it and from whom I received an ecstatic yes much to my complete joy). I think I haven’t told her because I realise it was such a jerk move. I was proposing to trap Mona into staying because I didn’t feel like being alone. It wasn’t about her or wanting a family with her. The idea of a wedding sounded nice, not like a massive commitment. It was so different with my wife, and I never wanted to taint her view of how important that moment was when we decided to marry with this completely foolish thing I did.

9. Just Devastated

I’m still trying to figure out what to do. It was 3 months ago – I’ve been depressed in a way that I don’t really understand. Normally after a breakup or some tragedy, I am able to redirect my negative energy into something constructive. This time is different. This time I don’t even have negative energy to do anything with. It’s just sadness. We had an incredibly strong bond – the kind that you’d hope to have with someone you would spend the rest of your days with. It’s incredibly difficult to break; it’s exactly what you’d want with a partner. I miss her like crazy.

She says I know where to find her whenever I feel better, without even considering what it would do to me. This is what happens when you fall in love with someone who is emotionally stunted; medicated or otherwise.

10. Unbelievably Awkward

It was really awkward. I wanted to do it with all of our family around because I thought it would be super romantic so I did it during a party at a lake (our fathers work together and the company owns property on a lake nearby). We were out in a row boat with her parents and my parents. I asked her to marry me and she said no. About a minute later my mother started crying. And then one of the fucking oars fell into the water and I had to swim after it.

11. He Thanked Her, Eventually

We broke up.

To be fair, my proposal was an inexplicable, knee-jerk reaction to her concurrent attempt to dump me at the time. For me, it was truly a “What the hell were you thinking???” moment.

We became friends again later, and after I married the woman who really was the perfect fit for me, I sincerely and gratefully thanked my ex for saying “no.” And she smiled and told me, “You’re welcome.” TC mark

Read This Next: ’19 Women Describe The Time They Turned Down A Wedding Proposal And The Insane Sh*t That Happened Afterward’

Your Best Attribute Summed Up In 5 Words, Based On Your Zodiac Sign

Posted: 15 Dec 2016 02:00 PM PST

unsplash.com
unsplash.com

Aries

(March 21st to April 19th)

Your bottomless thirst for learning.

Taurus

(April 20th to May 21st)

Your limitless warmth and tenderness.

Gemini

(May 22nd to June 21st)

Your animated and contagious spirit.

Cancer

(June 22nd to July 22nd)

Your ability to understand anyone.

Leo

(July 23rd to August 22nd)

Your fearless creativity and curiosity.

Virgo

(August 23rd to September 22nd)

You’re dependable no matter what.

Libra

(September 23rd to October 22nd)

You make connections with everyone.

Scorpio

(October 23rd to November 22nd)

Your magnetic and unstoppable energy.

Sagittarius

(November 23rd to December 21st)

Your genuine sense of joy.

Capricorn

(December 22nd to January 20th)

Your unexpected sense of humor.

Aquarius

(January 21st to February 18th)

Your unique way of thinking.

Pisces

(February 19th to March 20th)

Your pure sense of compassion. TC mark

10 Reasons You Should Be Glad As Hell You’ve Got A Big Booty

Posted: 15 Dec 2016 01:00 PM PST

khloekardashian
khloekardashian

1. You’ll always have a built-in seat cushion. Chair uncomfortable? No worries. You came prepared.

2. Even if you’re not a great dancer, your butt will still jiggle without too much twerk – I mean, work required.

3. You’re easily recognizable from behind. Which is good, you know, in case you get separated from your group of friends.

4. Your butt can double as a drum. No equipment needed!

5. People will always be happy to see you coming. And going.

6. Apparently, there’s a chance you might be healthier just by having that blessed booty.

7. You take one 🔥🔥🔥 belfie.

kyliejenner
kyliejenner

8. It’s thought that having a larger derrière can help keep your body balanced during pregnancy.

9. And there’s never a shortage of boys in your yard.

10. In summation, THAT ASS THOUGH.

TC mark

12 Things To Know Before You Start A ‘Friends With Benefits’ Relationship

Posted: 15 Dec 2016 12:00 PM PST

Joel Sossa
Joel Sossa

Friends with benefits (FWB) relationships are seemingly popular, but they don’t always end in both parties favor. They can get messy, they can lead to tension and they can lead to heartbreak. But starting a FWB relationship with someone in your friend group is a whole different story. Before you hook up with someone you’ve previously built a friendship with make sure you keep a few things in mind. 

1. Make sure you start with ground rules.

Deciding you want to be FWB with a friend in your group can get messy, it could potentially ruin your friendship and ruin your whole friend group's relationship in general. That is obviously the last thing you want so make sure you both understand what you're after to avoid self-destruction in the friend group and between yourselves.

2. Honesty is key.

You need to have open communication between each other. You need to make sure that you're on the same page, if one of you develop feelings you need to cut it off. If one of you starts seriously seeing someone else, cut it off. You need to make sure everything is out in the open between the two of you.

3. Don't tell your other friends about it.

The last thing you both want is gossip spreading like wildfire. It will only lead to them asking questions and potentially getting upset about it.

4. But don't be surprised if they find out.

Even if the two of you somehow actually keep it a secret from all your other friends, they aren't dumb. Your friend group will start noticing little differences in your behaviors in general and towards each other. They might even walk in on something so keep where and when you hook up in mind.

5. If and when they find out, be honest with them about it.

You don't want to make tension in the group if people feel like you're hiding something from them, so just be honest at this point. Let them know what is truly going on and that you didn't tell them because you didn't want it to become a big deal because to you two it isn't.

6. Realistically, there is a decent chance one, if not both of you, will develop feelings.

You didn't start out as FWB you started out as friends, so you are already comfortable with each other. You know what makes them laugh, what irritates the shit out of them and what they like in a person because I'm sure you've heard them bitch about all the people who have come and gone in their life while you've been friends. There is nothing awkward between you, you’ve already proven you can get along, now you're just adding the one thing that was missing from your relationship. Sex. It could be a dangerous mix if you’re not looking for a relationship.

7. Make sure you're emotionally stable for a FWB relationship.

FWB is supposed to be purely hooking up with no emotional attachments, if you're serious about pursuing a FWB relationship with someone you already have a relationship with make sure that you're emotionally ready to handle that. FWB means there is no good morning texts and someone to bring you ice cream when you’re sad.

8. Make sure you're able to handle it if or when they start talking to others.

Being FWB with you means they are still out looking for someone who could potentially satisfy their needs in a romantic way, and you should do the same. Don't get too comfortable with them and don't close off other's because as you've agreed with your FWB you're just FWB.

9. Don't start trying to control them.

Don't start thinking of each other as in a relationship, unless that is what you're after. Don't tell the other person you're down for FWB when you've actually got hidden feelings for them. That will only end up hurting you in the end. Don't cling to them and try to control or influence their decisions, they should still be your friend more than anything and you should still treat them as so.

10. Remember how it could end.

Before you agree to being FWB remember that you are unsure of how your relationship will turn out with them and if you aren't willing to potentially risk the loss of them as a friend maybe FWB isn't the right relationship for the two of you to have.

11. Know what kind of person you are.

If you fall really easy and often let your emotions clog your judgment, maybe a FWB relationship with a friend isn’t the right relationship for you. Really think about what kind of person you to make sure you can handle a relationship like this, it isn’t for everyone and that’s okay.

12. Respect each other.

You obviously care about this person in some way so don’t do anything to intentionally hurt them and don’t agree to it from the start if you can’t handle it when it comes to an end. Ultimately, you just want to respect each other’s wishes and boundaries. After all they were your friend before anything else, you should already be looking out for their best interest. TC mark

Check out Becca’s new book, You Are Enough, available here!

you-are-enough-print