Thought Catalog

50 Hot Sexts That Will Instantly Get Your Girlfriend Horny

Posted: 19 Dec 2016 08:00 PM PST

1. Can I come over, just to eat you out?

2. I’ve never been so turned on, just by looking at a woman’s lips.

3. All of my friends are so jealous I get to fuck you.

4. I’d do anything to see your orgasm face again.

5. I get so fucking hard whenever I think of you.

6. Come here. I want to lick you.

7. I’m not going to let myself cum until I’ve taken care of you first.

8. I want to flip you over and slap that perfect ass.

9. I’ve been dying to tie those pretty little arms to my headboard.

10. Picture me sliding your underwear off and sliding my tongue across your clit.

11. I hope you’re in the mood for multiple orgasms.

12. I’ll do anything you want me to do, as long as you wear that thong I love.

13. I want to watch you orgasm in my bed.

14. I’ve never fucked a goddess before.

15. Put your hair in a ponytail tonight, so it’s easy for me to pull.

16. I can’t sleep without your naked body pressed against mine.

17. I’m horny, but I don’t want porn. I only want you.

18. How much longer until I get to kiss your neck?

19. I want to run my fingers across your wet pussy.

20. I’m going to cum, just from the thought of you going down on me.

21. I’m going to treat you right. In bed and in life.

22. I want you to orgasm against my lips.

23. Your ass is sexy AF.

24. I miss the taste of your pussy.

25. I want you underneath me, moaning and panting.

26. I’m wearing those boxers you think my ass looks good in.

27. I always hated my name — until I heard you screaming it.

28. I had a wet dream about you last night. And the night before that.

29. I want to fuck you in front of a mirror, so you can see how sexy you are.

30. I can’t stop thinking about those long legs of yours.

31. You deserve every single orgasm I’m going to give you.

32. Everything you do turns me on. Way more than I want to admit.

33. Wait until you see all of the things I’m going to do to you tonight.

34. I want to feel those perfect tits pressed against my chest.

35. Whenever I think of you, I reach for my cock.

36. I’m going to make you so wet that you’ll be begging for my dick.

37. I want to watch my cum squirt into your mouth.

38. Want to make out for a few hours?

39. I’m touching myself, but I’d rather be touching you.

40. Would you rather be punished with handcuffs or with a spanking?

41. Your pussy is beautiful. Do you realize that?

42. I want to fuck you. Soft and slow.

43. I don’t need nudes. Fully clothed pictures of you are enough to make me hard.

44. I want you. Now. Don’t keep me waiting.

45. I never knew a girl could be cute and sexy and beautiful at the same time.

46. What do you want me to do to you? I’m giving you total control tonight.

47. I wish I was inside of you right now.

48. Your tits look as delicious as your lips.

49. Why aren’t you in my bed right now?

50. Your naked body is the most beautiful thing in all of existence. TC mark

10 Things People Don’t Realize You’re Doing Because You’re Horny AF

Posted: 19 Dec 2016 07:00 PM PST

1. Reaching out to exes.

Thanks to social media, it's virtually impossible to resist the temptation to reach out to an ex now and again—especially in the midst of a sexual dry spell. When you need sex, it's natural to start thinking about all the sex you've already had and to long for the people you've had it with. Of course you're going to send a seductive selfie or a suggestive sext to an old flame when you need to get laid, hoping for a little attention from someone who once gave it to you. You'd be an idiot not to!

2. Flirting with literally everyone (including the people you probably shouldn't flirt with).

You can't help yourself. Your internal barometer for assessing if and when it's appropriate to flirt with someone is totally out of whack because it's been too damn long since you've gotten any action. The boundaries that typically prevent you from engaging people who should be off limits for reasons of human decency—your best friend's boyfriend, your sister's husband, your boss, etc.—are disintegrating with each passing day that you fail to get some.

3. Making (and prolonging) eye contact with total strangers.

You're radiating that "fuck me" glow and you're proud of it. With each passing day that you don't have sex, you're more and more likely to stare down strangers because you're desperate for some form of human contact. If interlocking eyes with a total stranger on the subway is the only semblance of intimacy you can get, you'll take it.

4. Winking at anyone who gives you the time of day.

When you aren't flat-out eye-fucking, you're winking coquettishly at everyone you interact with. It doesn't matter whether they're male or female, 20-something or 50-plus. You're craving connection and your peepers might just be your best shot at a tiny little helping of love these days.

5. Licking your lips.

Subconsciously or not, you're doing everything possible to draw attention to yourself, especially the more sensual parts of your body. As you sit at your desk or stroll down the street, you lick your lips more frequently than usual, secretly hoping that an attractive man or woman will catch your tongue gliding across the rim of your mouth and approach you for an impromptu romp in the nearest bathroom because they just can’t resist the idea of those plump, juicy lips of yours.

6. Playing with your hair.

Hair play is another one of those flirty acts that tends to become second nature when you're dying to get laid. On autopilot, you twirl your hair as you ponder the day ahead during your morning commute and as you listen to your colleagues go on about blah blah blah during the morning meeting, gently brushing the tips of your locks against your mouth, caressing your own flesh just provocatively enough, letting others imagine what it might be like to kiss you and to have your hair graze their body, tickling their skin until they develop those near-orgasmic shiveries.

7. Masturbating whenever possible.

If no one else will show you any tenderness, you'll show yourself some love, thank you very much. Of course you're touching yourself down there at least daily. Sometimes the masturbation is purely utilitarian, but sometimes it's actually quite satisfying. As your dry spell continues, you invent new and exciting ways to get yourself off and discover new layers of your own sexuality along the way.

8. 'Accidentally' touching people whenever possible.

At a certain point, you shamelessly start grazing co-workers as they pass in the hallway or insist on holding hands with a friend as you watch a movie together. Maybe you even find a reason to lay your hand on a hostess’ shoulder before they guide you to your table. You're seeking a hint of physical connection, that's all. You don't mean to creep people out, but you also can't risk going too long without human contact of some sort.

9. Lowering your standards.

You'll take what you can get! As the days go by, you're more and more likely to forgive the mustache you would've considered a dealbreaker three months prior. Bacne? Who cares! Total asshole? It's not like you have to date them! You just wanna bone. You're likely to see more and more potential partners through rose colored glasses, as if you're drunk on horniness morning, noon, and night.

10. Rethinking your sexual limits.

If you don't have sex for long enough, you're bound to start reconsidering your overall outlook on doing the dirty. You might even open up to things you once considered off limits, like a same-sex makeout sesh, or anal. Desperate times call for desperate measures, after all. Who are you to turn down phone sex with the guy you once called a stalker, or sex with a high-tech robot? Survival sometimes demands a little flexibility. TC mark

27 Subtly Suggestive Sexts That Will Have Him On Your Hook All Day

Posted: 19 Dec 2016 06:00 PM PST


1. Guess which part of your body I dreamed about last night?

2. I can’t stop thinking about what I want to do to you later.

3. Too bad you didn’t sleep over, we would have had just enough time before work.

4. Forgot to wear panties today.

5. Work is boring so I’m thinking about how sexy you look instead.

6. I thought about you this morning in the shower…

7. I miss having your hands all over me.

8. I think my desk is just about the right height for us to fool around on.

9. You looked so fucking sexy last night.

10. I wish you could have joined me in the shower this morning.

11. I wish your cock was in my mouth right now.

12. I wish I could tell you what I’d do to you if you were here right now.

13. I need to give you a BJ under your desk one day.

14. I keep blushing at work because the dream I had about you last night was so dirty.

15. I have some special plans for us tonight.

16. Have you ever been blindfolded?

17. Is it wrong that I get turned on at work just from remembering how good you smell?

18. I can’t sleep, I just keep thinking about all the things I would do to you if you were here.

19. I picked out my panties today because they match the color of your eyes.

20. I literally can’t stop daydreaming about your cock.

21. Have I mentioned lately how turned on you get me?

22. My mouth misses you.

23. Guess which part of you I’m missing right now?

24. What clothes are you wearing today? I want to know how much time it’s going to take to get you naked when I see you.

25. Have I told you lately how sexy your body is?

26. Looking forward to having my hands all over you later.

27. I can’t believe how turned on you make me when you’re not even here. TC mark

What I Mean When I Say I’m In An ‘Open Relationship’

Posted: 19 Dec 2016 05:30 PM PST

Life Of Pix
Life Of Pix

I love talking about open relationships, and no one understands them.

So are you some sort of hedonist?
Does that mean you're not really serious?
Why get married then?

Sometimes it can be overwhelming, because once someone finds out you're in an open relationship it's all they want to talk about.

But I don't mind.

I don't mind because understanding non-monogamy has given me an insight into why we struggle so much in relationships, and I'm not just talking about sex with other people.

In fact, saying polyamory is about sex is like saying mountain climbing is about the view. It can include sex, but if that's all you knew you would miss the whole point.

When I talk about open relationships I'm also not talking about cheating. In a strange way, cheating actually belongs to monogamy. In a monogamous world, cheating is part of the system. It's a pressure release value. It's more normal to cheat behind someone's back than to consensually arrange being sexual with someone else besides your partner.

What I came to understand through my experience of open relating is that multiple relationships require a completely different approach to relationships, and that's why they are worth talking about.

Here are a few of the biggest lessons I've learned from open relationships.

Possession Isn't Love

Consider this scenario. You meet a friend for dinner and ask how his weekend was. He replies:

Dude! It was incredible, I went on a date with a girl Saturday night and we had an amazing time. We ate food at my favorite restaurant, went out dancing then had sex and stayed up all night together!

How would you feel? You'd be happy for him, right? He's your good friend so when he's happy, you're happy. It's simple.

Now consider the same thing happens, but it's on a first date. You ask your date how their weekend was and they reply:

Oh my god! I had an amazing weekend. I went on a date with this incredible man/woman. We went out to eat then we went back to his/her place and ate dessert of each other's bodies then made sweet love all night. I never thought sex could be so good.

How would you feel?

Awkward huh? If you're like most people, you'd be upset. You might choose to show it, or maybe stuff it down inside, in hopes that your date won't notice. You might even shame them.

Why would you tell me something like that? What's wrong with you?

This is a terrible way to begin a relationship, but it's what we do. We possess each other's happiness from day one.

Don't get me wrong, I understand where that person is coming from when they say "what's wrong with you". In my teens and twenties monogamy wasn't just the norm, it was the only option. I would have had the same reaction.

Just as an experiment, let's take a closer look at your date's response to the question "how was your weekend". Here are the facts:

  • That person demonstrated traits like honesty and transparency by not withholding information out of fear.
  • There were no agreements in place that this person broke by having sex with someone else before their first date.

So what's the real reason that response makes us upset? It has to do with insecurity. We don't feel special and instead of admitting it, we choose to blame the other person and raise moral objections.

If we were really honest, what we would say when setting up a date is:

I'd like to take you on a date next week, and by agreeing to that you are also agreeing to not see any one else romantically from this moment forward, until the completion of our relationship as determined by me. How does that sound?

No one would actually say that because it sounds possessive, and for good reason… it is! Possession of our partner's happiness has become a standard practice in romantic relationships.

We treat each other like property and call it love.

What I'm talking about when I talk about open relating is taking a closer look at how we choose to possess each other, because the current system leaves us no other choice. What if we could be a bridge to our partner's pleasure instead of a roadblock?

Wanting for your partner's happiness often brings up a lot of insecurities, so it's simple, but not easy. It takes self-awareness, support and a commitment to expansive love. It's not just a touch up job, it's a complete home renovation.

Being Attracted To Other People Is Normal

Here's a situation most people would find bizarre.

I'm at a party talking to an attractive woman. We're flirting with each other and it's getting hot. Then I think to myself "I would love for my wife to be here and experience this".

For most of my life, I had the opposite thought. I would hide attraction to other people at all costs, then lie about it if confronted. Why did I do this? I believed relationships had to be exclusive, meaning if I was in a relationship I had to exclude other people.

When my former monogamous-trained self would be put in a scenario like the one above, my habit of exclusion would kick in. In that case, I would exclude my partner, then I would go be with my partner, and exclude the girl I was flirting with.

Excluding Others vs Including Them

Inclusion is a choice to act from a different place. It's a choice to not buy into the conditioning that told us we should only feel sexual desire for one living being our entire life. It's a choice to include your partner in the experience of your world, even if that goes against what some people might consider "normal". It's a choice to include them even if you feel ashamed.

Especially if you feel ashamed.

When we hide our attractions to other people it's because we are ashamed, and as a result the desire gets repressed, stuffed away and given power. It's the repression that causes us to act out, not the desire.

What I'm talking about when I talk about open relationships is simply saying "yes, it's ok to be attracted to other people, and let's talk about it". Being monogamous is a choice to not act on those feelings, it doesn't have to be a choice to repress them.

You Don't Have To Be Polyamorous

I began learning about open relating several years before I practiced it, and simply being exposed to it radically changed the way I did all my relationships.

The choice to be in an open relationship isn't about one being better or worse, it's about looking at your current situation and asking honestly if that would be a good fit. Without a community to support, open relationships are not the best fit for the majority of couples, and that's ok.

Simply having a conversation about who you're attracted to and sharing honestly and explicitly what goes on inside your head (and your body) can be incredibly liberating.

When you create a space of non-judgement in your relationship, you can begin to pull out the things from your closet that have been hiding in the dark for years.

Watch porn together.
Share your fantasies, especially the weird ones.

Go to a strip club together.
Go to a sex party together and just watch.

What I'm talking about when I talk about open relationships isn't so much about relationships.

It's about being open. TC mark

How This Girl Treats Her Grandpa When They’re In Line Over Her iPhone Will Break Your Heart

Posted: 19 Dec 2016 05:16 PM PST

Uploaded on the 17th, the video shows a teenage girl freaking out at a mall in Canada over the possibility that she’ll miss her iPhone appointment at the Apple store. The man who appears to be her grandpa is being amazingly patient with her while they wait in a long line for Chinese food.

“Now I’m not going to get my fucking phone fixed.”

He even tolerates her screaming and dropping f bombs over and over and crying before he agrees to take her phone to the Apple store for her so that she can stay in line and get food.

The Christmas season is stressful for everyone but can we not scream at Grandpa’s over small things like phone appointments? TC mark

A ‘Below Deck’ Producer Just Answered The Big Question We’ve All Wondered About The Show

Posted: 19 Dec 2016 05:11 PM PST

Kelley Johnson Instagram
Kelley Johnson Instagram

Mark Cronin, the TV producer who created Below Deck stopped by Reddit to do an AMA on the beloved boat series. He answered a lot of the show’s mysteries that have always bothered us non-yachties:

1. Yes, the crew gets paid outside of tip money. The crew typically makes $1-2k in tip money per charter (charters last 3 days). They get a “small sum” for appearing on TV but generally their “salaries are in line with what they would make anyway as a yachty”. Here’s a helpful article that breaks it down further (Captain Lee could be making as much as $20k per month).

2. No, Bravo doesn’t pay for the guests trip for them. They are given about a 50% discount in the cost of renting the ship for 3 days and asked to tip 15-20% of the cost before discount. The full costs range according to which ship the crew is on, but it’s $150-200k for the week.

3. No, Bravo doesn’t screen the guests. Because the world of yachting is so small (and expensive) they have to go with “whoever’s check clears.”

4. There’s no reunion because Bravo didn’t want to pay for one. The regular shows get better ratings, so they’re focusing their money on producing more regular shows and less reunions. They did film 14 episodes this season, the most they’ve ever done.

5. Yes, the drama is real. Cronin says “The contract between the cast and me is: “Please make us a great show that people will love – and please be fair in portraying who we are and what we do.” I try to keep to that – and for the most part all of my former cast members – literally hundreds of them – feel that I kept that contract. I do feel bad when someone is shown to be horribly flawed – the only thing I can hope is that they learn from seeing themselves as the world sees them.”

6. No really, it’s real: “All reality shows are different. There is a spectrum from the very fake to the very real. I think though, that reality TV tends to be more real than you think. The skeptical audience is giving us too much credit for being masterminds.”

7. The “season” is six weeks long.

8. You see all the guests that come on that season. They’ve never had a group “too boring” to show.

9. Shockingly, it’s really rare for the guests to feel they got a “bad edit” and complain. “It’s actually rare – but not completely unheard of. The ones who complain in public are just trying to defend their bad behavior and blame us. But again, it has only happened twice in like 50 charters.”

10. Yes, it’s pretty common for someone to get fired or quit mid-season in the yachty world. It’s not just Captain Lee who’s fond of handing out plane tickets. As Cronin says these “are people who don’t appreciate being tied down. Most of them don’t even have a proper address on land!”

11. Yes, Unreal can be considered an “accurate” portrayal of working in reality TV. “I think that show is accurate – for some reality shows. Other shows are less heavy handed. Below Deck is much less heavy handed. I’m proud of that.”

12. Yes, everyone else loves Kate Chastain as much as we do. Cronin says he’s currently his favorite cast member.

13. No, there’s not a spinoff with Ben in the works. (Though Cronin says they’d love to make one!)

14. If you want to get cast on a reality show, you have to step your game up from just trying to play a trope: “These days, your characters can’t be stereotypes. The audience is too sophisticated to believe in the old types (the purely mean girl, the dumb muscle head…) now you need to show more complexity in your people. Now if someone is cruel, you have to show either the reasons behind that cruelty, or balance it with the contradictory kindness in places.”

15. It’s not related to Below Deck but this tidbit about Cronin’s career and the Rock of Love bus was too juicy to pass up: “We had one crew member start dating Janice Dickinson after she was on Surreal Life. I once had a cameraman make out with one of the girls on Rock of Love bus DURING the shoot. We fired him immediately.” TC mark

25 People Describe The Night They Should Have Died, But Somehow Made It Out Alive

Posted: 19 Dec 2016 05:00 PM PST

Pexels, Life Of Pix
Life Of Pix

1. He tried to rape and murder me

“Ever hear those stories about people who get spied on through their webcams? It actually happens. And it happened to me.

It went on for about a month, until I guess the guy couldn’t contain himself and started sending me emails saying he could see me. In GREAT detail he explained what I was wearing/doing etc. He said he knew where I lived and was waiting outside. I thought it could be a bluff, but I called the police immediately. Dude had handcuffs, mace, condoms, and a knife on him. He was immediately arrested. I don’t know if you would define that as a ‘close call’ but it’s the closest I’ve come to getting killed. It still scares me to even think about.” — ithurtslikehell

2. I was trapped in a burning car

“Car accident. Car caught fire and I was trapped. Someone passing by stopped, broke the window with his fist, and pulled me out while other by standers stood and watched.” — Jona479

3. I fell off a cliff and shattered my skull

“I was hiking when I was 11 with my brother, and ended up falling 100 feet off the side of a cliff. I shattered my skull, broke most of my ribs, which punctured my lung, broke my jaw and my pelvis. The shards of bone from my skull went into my skull causing a traumatic brain injury. My brother tried to save me but fell also and died on site. I’m alive because people in he valley below thought we were mountain sheep and got out their binoculars and called 911. I was in a coma for a week and had to relearn how to walk, talk, read, ect.” — hiimnatalie

4. A stranger shoved me onto train tracks

“I was drunk and stumbling around the street when this guy offered me a lift home, I was so bad I didn’t even question who he was and never even told him my address, drove to a train track and he stopped and we just talked for ages. When he heard the train coming he thought it would be cool to get out and watch it, I agreed and as it came close he pushed me onto the track, I fell onto the other side just as it went passed. I laid there shocked until it has gone past fully and he was driving off in his pickup. Never saw him again.” — JackGrey

5. I fell through shattered ice

“I was hiking alone in Sweden last easter holiday in a national park and wasn’t able to reach a cabin before nightfall.

Pitched my tent next to a frozen lake in the middle of a forest, well hidden away from the road since it’s illegal to camp in tents in the national parks.

Since I was running out of water I went to the lake to break off some ice to melt. Foolishly went trough some water plants and on the ice to find a good spot. Next thing I know I’m chest deep in the cold water with my boots stuck in the mud.

My instincts got the better of me and I started breaking of ice around me to get back to the side while cursing profoundly. I eventually got out, took some of the broken ice with me and made some asparagus soup.

Next day I walked back into civilization in frozen boots, got on a bus and drove to a big city and checked into youth hostel. Only when I was standing in the shower I realized what might have happened.” — Yarrson

6. I inhaled toxic fumes for seven hours straight

“My boyfriend and I went out one night and got super drunk. When we came home I bolted for the bed and immediately fell asleep. The last thing I remember is that he was getting water from the kitchen. Fast forward to 7 hours later I wake up and notice the smell of gas in the bedroom. I get out of bed and open the door and a wave of even stronger gas smell hits me. I see him sleeping on the couch with vomit around him. I’m still not sure what’s going on so I run into the kitchen and notice that one of the burners on the stove was “on” and emitting gas. I guess when he went to get water he was so drunk that he could barely walk so he probably ran into the stove and accidentally turned the burner knob. I have never freaked out so much as I did at that moment. For a second I didn’t even know if he was asleep or dead from asphyxiation. I immediately woke him up and opened all the doors/windows in the apartment and called the fire dept just to be safe. Everything turned out fine but just thinking about it now makes me cringe so much.” — damien_shallwenot

7. A car almost crushed me to death

“Alright, the time is my freshman year. Place, my school’s automotive’s lab. I was the only kid in my grade willing to jump through all the hoops needed to get into auto servicing as a freshman. Due to the prerequisite class, generally you don’t get in until 10th grade. Anyway, freshman in auto’s. Yeah, that’s it.

Anywho, being the only freshman meant I was also the smallest, both height and bulk, in the class. Anything in a tight, awkward spot was my kingdom. One day, we had to replace a sensor on a transmission. Unfortunately, both of our hydraulic lifts were in use. So we jacked that little two door up and crawled under. As i’m watching, I hear my teacher call out from under the car, ‘Godolin, get under here. We jacked up the wrong side and I don’t feel like fixing it.’

He’s my teacher and I’m eager to prove my worth, so I roll right under there and start fixing. Since the teacher was no longer there, the group of kids slowly dwindles until it’s just me and my pal Alfonso. He’s talking with me as I try and get this little piece of computer into place. In the middle of our conversation, we hear an echoing BANG. ‘Whatever,’ we think to ourselves, ‘we’re in an autoshop. Bangs happen.’

A minute or two later, Alfonso leans against the handle of the car jack. And it rolls straight under the car, bumping my elbow. After a couple seconds, everything clicks. That jack wasn’t there before. It’s supposed to be holding up this car. The car whose transmission was DIRECTLY OVER MY STERNUM. Swallowing slowly, I look over to the safety stand we’re required to put under the frame. It had caught the car by just barely a quarter inch. If the frame had been one pinkie width closer to me, that transmission would have been a foot lower. Roughly halfway into my chest cavity.

Noped the fuck out from under there and didn’t work for the rest of class. Teacher was understanding once I explained. 5 years later, I still haven’t told my parents.” — Godolin

8. I was kidnapped as a child

“I was kidnapped from a supermarket when I was 6 years old by a middle-aged man, taken to a stream and almost drowned. I passed out and have no idea what prevented him from finishing the job, I guess maybe he panicked and ran off at the last minute. My parents found me about an hour after I went missing.

I have little-to-no memory of the event, apart from the fact I was perfectly happy to take this stranger’s hand and walk right out of the supermarket’s front doors. I used to be a very trusting child apparently, not really sure what happened there.” — FeelsLikeSex

9. I almost drowned after taking acid

“A couple of years ago I took some acid with some friends. The acid was fairly strong, but we managed to decide that we should get into our buddy’s outdoor hot tub. Did I mention we were surrounded by trees as my friends house was located in the woods and that there was quite a thunderstorm happening at the time? Anyway, this hot tub was pretty cool. It had a fountain and strobed different colors, so it was only logical that we dunked our heads under the water to get our faces as close to the color changing lights as possible since we were on LSD. This got a little out of hand. We began going under for extended periods of time because it was pretty fucking trippy and when you were under it didn’t really feel like you were holding your breath. So, I went under at one point for maybe 20 seconds and when I went to surface the back of my head hit something hard. I tried to gasp for air, but couldn’t and I began to panic. For one reason or another my friends had gotten out of the hot tub and had zipped the cover on… with me still inside. I did manage to hulk smash my way out, but god damn if that wasn’t one of the most intense experiences of my life.” — mushroomassburgers

10. A stone cracked my head open

“Hit on the head by a thrown stone, knocked out and cracked skull. Fell into a river and drowned. Dragged out and given CPR. I was dead and now I’m not. My memory is fucked though, especially short term and can remember very little about my childhood.” — forte2

11. Someone shot out our back window

“As a rowdy high schooler who’s hockey team just won a huge game, I decided to throw an apple at an oncoming car from my friend’s backseat, in a bad neighborhood. I hit their windshield. They quickly caught up to us and started following us. We tried many diversion tactics, even going into oncoming traffic at one point… Driving through a park, things like that. Eventually, our back window gets shot out. There was four of us in the car, they peel off after they shot. Everyone was safe. The next morning, we find the bullet lodged in the dashboard. Tracing the entrance point to where it ended, it had to be within an inch or two from my head.

Looking back on this, it is seriously haunting how dumb we were… But we are all alive so that’s good.” — Duhawk

12. I fell from twenty feet in the air

“I was up on a ladder 20+ feet in the air cleaning a window for my summer job. It is worth noting that the ladder was on a hill, against a house with siding not stucco, the base of the ladder was against a fence that was in the way so it was at about an 80˚ angle also. Oh and the biggest factor was this happened on July 8th of 2013 in Calgary AB, you know, during the time with massive flooding, so it was pouring buckets. Literally every condition you don’t want I had.

So I finish cleaning this window which was over 20 feet high, I take my first step down and the ladder shifts. It does this because it is raining and the house was siding so it was very slippery. I had 2 choices as soon as I realized I was tipping.

  1. Go with the ladder as it falls, but if I did this I would have landed right into a big AC unit on the side of the house and probably died or have been very badly injured.
  2. Jump off the ladder into the neighbors yard hoping to not land on anything sharp.

I chose 2 and thank jebus I did. I landed on hard gravel, broke both bones on the right side of wrist, my arm and chipped the bone in my hip while ripping tendons in my hip also. The impact on my hip was so hard it split open my skin, and ripped tendon that I don’t think have ever healed thus I can’t feel anything there.

What makes this story so much scarier for me was that as I hit the ground I banged my head and passed out for about 15 seconds. The person “spotting” the ladder for me jumped over the fence to help me and said where I landed was about 2 inches away from a big metal box a foot high. If I landed 2 inches farther back, I would have 100% cracked my head open on that metal box and most likely died. Thinking about it now, if I waited half a second longer to jump off the ladder it would have put me in the falling position to hit my head on that box. I have never been so lucky in my life.

On the upside, I know have a I almost died story better than the time I accidentally mowed over a active extension cord and got shot back through the handle with electricity.” — DudeWithAHighKD

13. My unstable friend held me under water

“In swim class in Middle School my two friends and I would goof around in the deep end during free swim time and play a game where we would grab the other person’s shoulders and push off shooting us out of the water. One day one of my friends grabbed me by the shoulders and pushed me down, but I didn’t come up, he kept holding me down. I didn’t know it at the time but he hadn’t taken his medication that day. Since I was used to the game I didn’t grab a breath before I went under because you normally pop right back out of the water. By the time people realized what was going on I was gulping water trying to breathe. I didn’t have the best lung capacity (asthma and being indoorsy) so I’m not sure how much longer I had before I’d black out when my other friend pulled him off of me. I came up coughing out water. The kid who tried to drown me was suspended and got kicked out of the class.” — Sloosh

14. I worked in a store that was leveled in a tornado

“I worked at a grocery store in high school that was completely leveled in a tornado. I always worked on that night of the week that it came through. Turns out I quit less than a week before on a dare. I never saw that $20. Since I was only 18 I didn’t tell my mom I quit. She thought I was there and was pretty sure I was dead. That made it a hell of a lot easier to tell her I had quit.” — Crs3050

15. I came down with a tropical disease

“When I was about 2 or 3, me and my family went to the zoo. Whilst we were there I apparently pet a whole bunch of animals and as a 2 year old child does, I put my hand in my mouth. Anyway, when we got home I started throwing up everywhere and couldn’t hold down any food or liquids. So my Mum took me to the Doctor, who apparently didn’t study very hard at medical school, because they said just give it a day or two and I would be fine. So we got home and I of course wasn’t fine and my Mum decided to call the Ambulance and we went to the emergency room. After a few hours at the hospital, the Doctor came out and said I had some sort of tropical disease and if my Mum hadn’t called the ambulance when she did, I would have been dead.” — CrazayTaylor92

16. A truck smashed into me

“It was around 4:00pm the summer of 2011. I was driving into town to buy a new toilet seat, as a drunken party guest had broken it somehow and noped the fuck out. Anyway, I’m about to merge onto the highway into a construction zone. Namely, there were concrete barriers on either side of the road. There was a stop sign instead of yield one, so I stopped and saw a white semi-truck maybe five hundred feet back in the left hand lane. I merged into the right hand lane and sped up to the 50mph speed limit as I was letting the truck pass me. Right when his right rear wheel was just dorsal to being flush with the driver side door, he tried to pull into my lane. Now, being that there was a concrete barrier to my right, all I could do was honk and try to keep the wheel straight as I heard the hiss of metal grinding on metal. Luckily, I was driving my Subaru Tahoe, which is a relatively giant car. I was able to keep the wheel straight, the truck backed off me (I can’t really say how long the wheel was grinding against my car.

The truck driver finished passing and we both pulled over to the side of the road (the concrete barrier on the right side of the road ended pretty quickly after the merge ramp). Despite my left mirror being gone, the left side of my car being torn up, and the driver door being mostly caved in, my car could still drive. I got out of my car on the passenger side, and I see a hindu man in a turban walk out. He could barely speak english. He offered me water, which I falteringly refused (I was having trouble speaking coherently). He claimed to have lost me in the sun. Shorly thereafter, a man (I forget his name) pulled over and gave me his info as a witness and expressed to me that I was lucky to be alive before pulling away. I got my dad on the phone after a few minutes and he came to pick me up and take care of the insurance info of the truck driver. My dad drove my car home while I drove his home. After that, we shot hoops and reflected on how wonderful it is to be alive.” — MyKrusty

17. I was sucked into the undertow

“I was sucked into an undertow when I was around twelve at the water park Schlitterbaun. To this day I still don’t know what was in the black void that was behind me as I frantically swam towards the only source of light I could see, and I don’t think I ever want to know. My Dad, luckily, noticed me beneath the surface and pulled me up by my hair.

Another is having a catastrophic wreck on an ATV the day of my 8th grade graduation. I rolled the ATV around seven or eight times and when I stood up to check myself for injuries I could feel something warm dripping down the back/side of my neck. I reached up to find my ear had been completely ripped in half, of course in my shock I obviously thought my brain was hanging out of my skull. Ended up completely missing 8th grade graduation and having plastic surgery on my ear. It now looks surprisingly normal.” — karma2q

18. I had my stomach pumped after taking the wrong meds

“As a kid the pharmacist gave my parents the wrong medication/dosage. I OD’d and had to get my stomach pumped. I went through the frequently mentioned ‘death’ experience prior to waking up in a hospital bed. I could hear my mom screaming and crying as she held me, but I felt like I was in a dark/cool but really peaceful place.” — huazzy

19. She was trapped inside of a fridge

“Not me but this happened with my sister.

She was about two years old and I was seven.

We’d just bought a new fridge. Remember this, it will be important later on.

So its about dinner time and my sister’s nowhere in sight. All of us start looking for us but we just can’t find her anywhere! So we start calling her name out loudly, I remember literally shouting at the top of my lungs.

That’s when I hear a muffled response, I’m pretty sure I heard my name called out! And then, nothing.

We’re all freaking out now, looking for her frantically when I hear another sound, this time its knocking. While running around, I clumsily knock into the fridge and the knocking sound grows furiously loud.

I open the fridge door and there she is, sitting inside the empty fridge.

Apparently, the magnet on the door was so strong, she was unable to push the door open. The utter darkness inside didn’t help either.

If she’d been inside for longer, makes me shudder to even think about it.” — pokemonsforlife

20. I almost got hit by a bus

“I was crossing the street in Jinan, China. The light had turned and I started to cross at a crosswalk, keeping a close eye on the intersection for anyone turning onto the street. About halfway across someone behind me gasped, I slowed up and turned around to look at them. Just then, a bus going about 40 plowed into the intersection from my blind side crossing about two inches in front of me.

A close second was on my honeymoon in Peru. My wife and I decided to take a local bus from Cuzco to Lima. We were told the bus ride should take about 19 hours; the driver made it in 12. This is a trip on narrow mountain roads with no guard rails. Old ladies had their rosaries out praying. Nearly everyone on the bus was sick. The one time the driver slowed down was to pass another bus that had collided head on with a logging truck.” — matchles

21. I was mugged in another country

“Drew a knife on five guys trying to mug me in Hungary. I was very drunk, don’t know where I got it and had no way of using it properly. Ninety nine times out of a hundred that will get you killed. I was VERY lucky.” — domesticsuperpoo

22. A wrong-way driver sped past us

“On the drive back from the Charlotte Motor Speedway we were in the left lane and my Dad noticed a lot of honking and people switching lanes. He got into the right lane and maybe 4 seconds later a wrong-way driver flew by us. He killed someone a mile behind us…” — DrAgOn__HeAt

23. I almost died at birth

“Umbilical cord was suffocating me when I was born.” — heytherehandsome

24. I was trampled after crowdsurfing

“I was at a music festival and, of all things, I was watching a polka band. Everyone was dancing around and having a good time when a pit started… At a polka show, weird. So i started getting into it as well and decided to crowd surf. I ended up being dropped and a bunch of people started falling and piling up on top of me. I was struggling and fighting, someones knee was on my throat and they had people on top of them, my ribs were being crushed and my arms and legs were pinned. I struggled to get free for about 30 seconds but the whole ordeal lasted for about three minutes. I remembered letting go and thinking ‘this is how it ends, crushed to death at a polka concert…’ then I passed out. I woke up to people dragging me by my arms to which I reacted immediately and violently because i had no idea what was happening.” — boom_wildcat

25. He drove straight through the intersection

“At a four way intersection. My turn to go but I see a approaching car and because I am a overly cautious person I wait for him to stop before I go. He went straight through it because he was texting.” — dantheladiesman6 TC mark

The Brutal Truth About Why An Affair Will Never Work Out

Posted: 19 Dec 2016 04:00 PM PST

I'm Priscilla
I’m Priscilla

Affairs with married women are never a good idea. There is a morality issue in having affairs with married women but even if this doesn’t bother you, you should know that it time taking part in such a thing will damage your self image and confidence.

Sex with married women can seem exciting, dramatic and more intense than with someone that’s single. However with what appears to be an upside there is an equal and opposite down side – damage to your self worth.

Married women who have affairs have the affair for themselves – not because they think you are “the one”. You’re a means of escapism to them. And even if you believe you can’t be hurt and you’re just in it for the sex – your dignity will be chipped away at slowly, bit by bit.

The problem of affairs with married women is that you’re going to stay single all during the affair. You may act as though you’re a couple in the privacy of the hotel room but once you walk out on the street, you can’t act the same way. This may be ok in the beginning of the relationship but if you start becoming emotionally attached to her, this will hurt.

The number of “dates” reduce in time
In affairs with married women, you might see each other often in the beginning. However slowly, the excuses start to creep in:

  • They’re visiting the in laws this weekend
  • One of the children is sick and needs looking after
  • They have to run an errand for their husband etc

And you’ll find yourself hanging around hoping she can make some time for you. The fact is, even if she has decided to stick with her husband she may still give you the impression she’s not interested in him so that you’ll stick around in the sideline for her as her comfort blanket.

Even if you are of the opinion that the relationship between you both is special and she’d never lie like this to you, the fact remains that she’s lying to her spouse, so she’s not going to have much trouble in lying to you.

The fact is that in affairs with married women, you’re dealing with a cheater…and cheaters are liars. You might make excuses for her like her marriage was a big mistake and she should be with you, but the fact is you’re just her means of escapism – nothing more. Both you and her are lying so as to avoid this reality.

Your social life
If you’ve told friends that you’re seeing a married woman, they’re not likely to think much of you for it. In the unlikely event that they give you support, you can be sure it’s only on a superficial level and that they’ll be thinking and talking ill of you behind your back.

If however, you’re like most men who have affairs with married women, you probably haven’t openly told your friends about it. This is ok? You might be thinking. Unfortunately it isn’t, the problem is that such men often find themselves becoming withdrawn from their friends and social circle because they can’t talk about their other life to them and show off their girlfriend.

The responsibilities of an affair with a married woman
The fact is she’s almost certainly never going to want to leave the stability of a marriage (albeit a dissatisfying one) for you. In the event, they did leave their husband for you; I assure you, you wouldn’t want this responsibility around your neck.

Anytime things wouldn’t be going perfect between you both, you’d essentially be silently held accountable for the way things are.

In addition, if they ever get a fleeting moment of looking back longingly at their former marriage, they’d secretly resent you for making them leave.

While affairs with married women can seem exciting and dangerous, these upsides will in time be replaced with equally opposite downsides. Ones you’ll wish you hadn’t brought on yourself. TC mark

Stop Dreaming And Start Planning: Here’s Inspiration For Your Next Weekend Away

Posted: 19 Dec 2016 03:05 PM PST

Weekend vacations are all about creating memorable moments, outside the routine of the week. The stories you share with friends, family and colleagues on Monday should be about the incredible experiences you had, not the opportunities you didn't have time for. We've compiled ideas and inspiration to help every type of traveler get the most out of their weekend getaway. If you book directly with Hilton between now and January 31 you'll receive more bang for your buck with the Double Points promotionso start planning your next break!


The Adventure Seeker – Whitewater rafting the Colorado River, hiking the Grand Canyon or scuba diving the Florida Keys are once in a lifetime experiences – that you can do in a weekend. You can still be an Adventure Seeker if you don't enjoy getting your adrenaline racing. Why not pick a destination but leave the itinerary unplanned, and follow any spontaneous opportunities that come your way?


The Foodie – Explore secret hotel roof-top gardens, pull on an apron for a private cooking session with a hotel chef or discover a city's cafes, bars or breweries. If you're from the Midwest or the East Coast, consider a visit to Cleveland, which is attracting some top culinary talent. While there, try the Burnham Restaurant at Hilton Cleveland Downtown where famed chef Zack Bruell invites guests to try concept dishes. If this whets your appetite and you want a taste of other gastronomic adventures, watch YouTube stars Simon & Martina eat their way around Hawaii.

The Urban Explorer – More personal and efficient than web searches, hotel concierges know all the must-dos and are often the most connected people in any given city – which is particularly helpful if you're only visiting for a weekend and didn't make your theater or restaurant reservations early. Many hotels offer real-time chat through their loyalty apps where you can ask hotel employees questions even when you're out and about. If you're more of an independent traveler, Uber Local Scene on the Hilton HHonors app lists the top restaurants and nightlife venues in your area based on their frequency with Uber riders. If you want to feel like less of a tourist, stay an extra day so you can see how locals spend their Sunday afternoon and evening.

The Romantic – If diamonds are a girl's best friend, hotel concierges are the romance-seeker's. Whether you're celebrating a special occasion or just spending quality time together, a concierge can help arrange everything from special touches to extravagant gestures. Start (or end) an evening with a bottle of champagne and strawberries in your room, which can be ordered with just a few taps on the Hilton HHonors app.


The Fitness Junkie – Does your go-to packed bag contain yoga pants and sneakers? Consider choosing a weekend retreat at a hotel with heated lap pools, tennis courts or yoga. Most full-service hotels offer a variety of excursions and activities that will immerse you in your surroundings, while still giving you that fitness fix – from hiking, surfing, bike riding or paddle boarding. Some, like the Hilton Sedona Resort at Bell Rock, also offer unique location-based experiences such as the hotel's outdoor Warrior Pit workout facility.

The Super Parent – A weekend escape with the kids doesn't have to be overwhelming. Many hotels offer family packages that are often themed for a season or event, like the upcoming breakfast with Santa at Hilton Anatole that includes gingerbread cookie classes and a holiday scavenger hunt. To impress the older kids, check out the Hilton HHonors Auction platform where you can use Hilton HHonors Points to bid on concerts, sporting events, chances to meet your favorite celebrities and much more.

The Zen Queen – Reconnect with yourself on a staycation. It's likely there are spas and cozy cafes in your local area where you can indulge or even finish that book you put down weeks ago. Or stay in your pajamas and order room service all weekend – with the Hilton HHonors app you can even choose a room facing a Zen-worthy lake or park. TC mark

This Post Brought to You by Hilton HHonors.

Read This When You Feel So Incredibly Alone With Your Depression

Posted: 19 Dec 2016 03:00 PM PST

Clay Banks
Clay Banks

27 pills.

I count them twice. I then calculate how many I'd have to take in order to not wake up. The deeper I go down my depression the more I wonder why the hell I'm still here. The pills that are supposed to make me feel better can only work if I believe they do. I had stopped believing in their powers weeks ago but I don't want to tell anyone that.

Every day I wake up and I think to myself, “Fuck.” I don't want to wake up anymore and still be trapped in a mind that's so sick it is literally calculating how many pills it would take to overdose. I don't want to be that burden on my friends and family who even though they say I'm not draining them, I am. I can see it's not only emotionally gruelling, but it's physically and mentally exhausting trying to convince someone they're OK.

I never used to be this person. The one who counts the hours until they can be alone again. The one who does not want to have any conversations with anyone anymore. The one who doesn't want to get her sad all over everyone else. Unfortunately, this is my cross to bear and explaining it to people who don't get it becomes a task I no longer want to partake in.

I thought I was alone in my depression. I thought that no one else could understand exactly what I was going through until I started talking about it. I started to do the things I didn't want to do and admit my demons. I didn't want people to think about the things that go on in my head as crazy but I, myself, thought I was crazy. I thought that having invisible angry self-hatred conversations with myself would dub me insane until I found out there are people out there just like me.

The second I started opening up to people, they started opening up to me. I heard about struggles from people I had always assumed had it together. I started to realize that even when people think everything is going well for others, that often times we're wrong. Society convinces us that being weak and expressing vulnerabilities is a bad thing. It's really not.

I wake up most days wondering why I'm still here. What could I possibly offer the world that people whose lives were taken too short couldn't? I still don't know the answer to that. I don't know if my pain and anguish will lead to something good or to my own demise. I don't know if I'll get through the day without counting my pills and instead of taking just one, take the whole bottle.

The thing is though that I am still here. I am still here and have a purpose, just like you.

Even though you don't know where you're heading or what life has in store for you, you're still here. Are you struggling? Absolutely. Do you pretend that your depression isn't a part of you? Most days. Do you even really remember the last time you were truly happy? Not really.

So you get through the day based on what little faith you have left. At least that's what I do. Even though I'm completely bruised. I'm completely defeated. There's still a part of me that has faith in something bigger than myself. I don't know what it is and I'm not here to convince to you believe in something you don't.

All I do know is this, you are bigger than your depression. You are bigger than whatever the fuck has got you down. You have made it through all of your bad days and you are a fighter. Anyone who manages to wake up another day and battle through life is a warrior.

So talk about it. Talk about your struggles. Tell people. You will connect with other humans on a level you didn't know existed. We all go through pain but if you can keep the faith you will prevail. TC mark