Thought Catalog


If You’ve Procrastinated About Christmas Shopping Until The Last Second, You Might Be Able To Save Yourself At Walgreens

Posted: 23 Dec 2016 09:22 PM PST

Unsplash
Unsplash

It's the night before Christmas and all through the house not a creature was stirring…except you who totally didn't realize this was an extended family Christmas. Now, you need five more gifts in about as many hours. Don't sweat it! Here are five gift ideas that won't break the bank but will convince everyone they've been on your shopping list for weeks.

1. For the new baby

Walgreens
Walgreens

When your mom mentioned your cousin Cindy was showing up you totally forgot she had had a baby. Now, between trying not to slam your shins on the playpen and avoiding Cindy telling you about how her baby definitely spoke Russian the other day, you've got to come up with a gift. The baby will like it, because it makes noise, and Cindy will like it because she will think you believe her child is going to be first chair in an orchestra someday.

2. For the uncle that runs a small plot soybean farm

Walgreens
Walgreens

Uncle Randy's nice, just- eccentric. No one can send him out to buy anything for holiday dinners anymore after the Thanksgiving he brought a live turkey into the house. (The year before he offered to bake bread, without mentioning it was going to take two weeks to make). Now, faced with the options at Walgreens you're going to need to find something without chemicals or "synthetic color". You're in luck, this soap is pretty much non-everything except being good. Finally, a gift that won't result in a lecture.

3. For the aunt who definitely bought all her gifts off QVC

Walgreens
Walgreens

Well you know you're getting a birthstone necklace for Christmas, but why not give her a gift she'll actually appreciate? Clapper lights both seem like they're more expensive than they really are and they have a certain level of weirdness your aunt is sure to appreciate.

4. For the sibling who hasn't consumed anything but protein powder at every meal

Walgreens
Walgreens

You're brother got kind of into fitness when he was a college sophomore. Then, his senior year, he got really into fitness. At this point his folk heroes begin and end with the WWE. Give him the gift of more ways to work out, and maybe a forced smile when you unwrap the shake mixer bottle he bought you.

5. For the younger cousin who hasn't looked up from Snapchat yet (it's been three days)

Walgreens
Walgreens

Your cousin may not have spoken to a single person existing around them in the physical realm so far, but it doesn't have to stay that way. Yes, playing cards might look less expensive than some of the other gifts, but you are going to offer to show them how to play that family card game every family seems to have. And, when all your other relatives get involved, and you're all laughing and joking around three tables you shoved together to fit everyone you'll realize you brought the Christmas spirit, the most important gift on any wish list or gift guide. TC mark

22 Women Confess Why They HATE Sucking Dick

Posted: 23 Dec 2016 08:00 PM PST

Thought.is
Thought.is

1. Even when it doesn’t take forever, it still feels like it’s taking forever.

"Even when it doesn’t take forever, it still feels like it’s taking forever. How long have I been doing this for? Forty minutes? No? It’s only been 10? Well, in blowjob minutes, that’s like an hour and a half, so I stand by my original point."

Lane


2. If I never suck another dick again, I definitely won't miss it.

"If I never suck another dick again, I definitely won't miss it."

Kerry


3. The taste and the smell are unbearable.

"I hate giving head. It’s not from lack of trying, though! The taste and the smell are unbearable, even if my boyfriend’s just stepped straight out of the shower! Just thinking about it makes me retch."

Claire


4. It makes me want to throw up.

"It makes me want to throw up so I never do it, much to my boyfriend’s dissatisfaction. I try to find other ways of satisfying him, like using my hands."

Fiona


5. Too physically demanding.

"I generally don’t like it. Too physically demanding. Gag reflex, etc."

MollFlanders


6. It triggers off PTSD and makes me feel very uncomfortable.

"I too dislike giving head. It triggers off PTSD and makes me feel very uncomfortable. There is rare occasions like once every year I do feel like doing it usually when I’m very drunk and comfortable with the guy. I find it a little silly when guys are like…well I’m not going down on you then. I just move on if that’s the case. I have many other sexual skills that others don’t so bjs…not a big deal."

suchmehclit


7. I can’t stop visualizing it as a penis sneezing in my mouth.

"I don’t mind blowjobs, but swallowing is just the worst. I can’t stop visualizing it as a penis sneezing in my mouth. I am not really that keen on tasting other people’s body fluids."

Mischa


8. Some of them will definitely end up wedged in sad little sperm graveyards between your teeth.

"He finishes. (Which is just a nice way of saying that he explodes 1 billion little wriggly sperm into your mouth, which immediately begin gasping for air, racing towards an egg they'll never find). Grouped together, they have the consistency of warm snot and the taste of broken dreams. And it doesn't matter whether you spit or swallow; some of them will definitely end up wedged in sad little sperm graveyards between your teeth."

Rosie


9. 'I love you and, although committed to our mutual satisfaction, would prefer not to suck you off anymore.'

"I told my boyfriend of eight months that I hate giving head. We were past the early stage of our relationship—the part where girls will do anything to appear low—maintenance, casual, and DTF—and we'd even the dropped the L bomb. If there was ever a time to be honest, this was it.

What sounded totally rational in my head—'I love you and, although committed to our mutual satisfaction, would prefer not to suck you off anymore'—received a less than gracious response. The conversation turned into an instant negotiation in which we both probed the other on the various aspects of sex that mattered to us.

First on the list? If he wasn't getting any, he wasn't giving any. (He was pretty terrible at cunnilingus in the first place, so I could get on board with this.) But unfortunately, the conversation only went south from here. My boyfriend couldn't get past the idea that hating blow jobs didn't mean hating sex, and seemed to feel he was signing up for a lifetime of blue balls and late nights in front of the computer screen. It was apparent that he, too, identified fellatio as the beacon of a sexually liberal woman—like some sort of slutty bat signal."

Anonymous


10. I fucking hate it. I’ve never enjoyed cramming a penis in my mouth.

"I don’t suck dick. That’s the deal, plain and simple. I know this statement is sure to enrage heaps of men, and even women, who consider blowjobs a mandatory part of anyone’s sexual repertoire. I totally get that. Here’s the thing, though: I fucking hate it. I’ve never enjoyed cramming a penis in my mouth. Now, before you go and report me to the MRA, I want to clarify that this does not at all mean I hate penises. I don’t think they are ugly, or gross. The standard penis has quite a practical and sleek design, which I greatly admire. As much as I love my vagina and all its parts, I do often find myself jealous of how worry—free the penis seems to be. If you tried talking to a penis about daily discharge, menstruation, pH balance, or pap smears, the penis would have nothing to say in return. Mostly because it’s a penis, and penises can’t talk, but also because it doesn’t have to deal with these things. Not only that, but it doesn’t even require a wipe after urination. Kudos to you, penis. All I’m saying is that I despise the act of putting one in my mouth, and forcing my mouth to partake in the motions my hand or vagina could perform instead."

Alison


11. I honestly don’t want your genitals in my mouth.

"I am not a fan of giving oral sex. I hate it. A lot of guys just expect it. I honestly don’t want your genitals in my mouth. Especially if the guy is one of those ones who push the head down and try to force you. Never works. However, I have come across two guys, and two only, that I have had absolutely no problem doing it for. It usually means I’m very, very, very into them.”

Hannah


12. I can’t stand them!

"I can’t stand them! I know guys love them though. I think it’s probably the feel and size of my partner’s penis that puts me off. He’s massive!"

Olivia


13. I find that degrading and not very romantic.

"My boyfriend often insists that I head south of his belt, so sometimes I’ll force myself because I know he likes it but I feel like an object and I find that degrading and not very romantic."

Sophie


14. I don’t like facial ejaculation and nobody’s going to force me to endure it.

"I don’t like facial ejaculation and nobody’s going to force me to endure it. It’s my body and I find that sort of thing too degrading!"

Becky


15. I always end up gagging and ruining the moment.

"I hate blowjobs… it’s not the act exactly, it’s just that I can’t do the deep throat thing and I always end up gagging and ruining the moment. My husband loves it though so I try and use my hands and just put my mouth round the tip—it’s just about bearable. "

Caroline


16. The taste of sweat grosses me out. Hair in my mouth grosses me out.

"I hate it because I have a very weak gag reflex. Semen in my mouth grosses me out. The taste of sweat grosses me out. Hair in my mouth grosses me out. I’ve never had a partner who understood this (I’m okay with oral as foreplay, and on MY terms) so most of my experiences have been bad. I’ve also never been in a relationship where I get anything back, which makes me a little resentful, because if I’m shoving your dick in my mouth, can't you at least return the favor with a little tongue action?"

Name Withheld


17. It’s no fun telling a guy that I do not enjoy putting their gonad central in my mouth.

"I have never liked giving blow jobs. Long before I ever tried one I knew innately it was something that did not turn me one. Twenty—two years of being sexually active has not changed my mind. There are lots of other sexual activities that I enjoy, that totally turn me on to the nth degree. But putting a penis in my mouth is not one of them. Do I wish I liked it? YES. It would make my sexual life that much more fun and easy. It’s no fun telling a guy that I do not enjoy putting their gonad central in my mouth. On the other end of the oral sex spectrum, I love receiving cunnilingus from guys. But I don’t expect it. There are lots of guys who don’t enjoy going down on women. And you know what? That’s okay. I really wish all guys would have the same attitude about fellatio."

boatierra


18. Can’t handle it. Too many smells, too many fluids.

"My OCD will not let me perform oral. not on anyone. guys, girls, anyone in between. no. no. can’t handle it. too many smells, too many fluids. but for whatever reason my fiancĂ© still likes performing oral on me, which makes me feel guilty in a very confused way, like—he ENJOYS it so I should not stop him (I don’t object to it!) but I’m not EVER going to reciprocate, so is that right or just at all? it’s been seven years, so i guess he really must legitimately enjoy it even though he really, really gets that I’m really, really not ever going to reciprocate, but that weird guilt is still there."

cynophilist


19. Yucko! Gag. Grody to the max.

"Ewwww! I hate giving bj’s. Uh uh. Nope. No way Jay. Everyone has their own sexual likes and dislikes. That doesn’t make you an oddball prude. That’s normal. I’m not fan of men’s junk and I definitely want nothing to do with the stuff that comes out of it. Yucko! Gag. Grody to the max. But….other women love all things peen. Go figure. ; ) Just do what you enjoy and don’t worry about what anyone else likes, says, or thinks. I’m grossed out just seeing or hearing the term “blow jobs.” That term conjures up all kinds of blergh—y grossness for me. Partially because of the act itself and partially because of the people that LOVE to use it (and probably coined it). Like rape—culture dudebros and mainstream misogynist porn."

alakazoo


20. No one is worth almost throwing up over.

"It's not at all newsworthy to get a bit in your eye: we know all about that. Eyes, hair, face, mouth, we've had it all. Going down on a guy is not exactly a treat. Porn may say otherwise, but honestly, getting your hair stuck together with semen right before I'm supposed to go out is not a good look. Cameron Diaz may not have been phased by it in There's Something About Mary, but I am.

In my experience the thing boys always complain about is how going down on a girl doesn't taste good. I feel as a bisexual girl I have some kind of balanced opinion on this: It's a vagina. It's not going to taste like strawberries or mangoes, it's going to taste like a vagina….Actually, it doesn't taste half as bad as a guy's cum (which is pretty awful). The pineapple juice myth is a lie, it's always awful, and swallowing makes me gag and retch. There always seemed to be this unspoken rule about having to swallow cum (for some reason), and despite it almost making you feel like you were about to throw up afterwards, you still did it. It wasn't until I grew up a bit and realised that it didn't matter if it wasn't 'sexy'" to swallow, I wasn't doing it. No one is worth almost throwing up over."

Amelia


21. Playing the flute isn't fun.

"Playing the flute isn't fun. 'They don't call it a job for nothing.' To any men reading this, I invite you to take a banana, and leaving the skin on it, stick it into your mouth. Make sure your lips are covering your teeth, and keep them wet enough to slide down the surface of the banana easily. Shove it as far into your mouth as you possibly can without gagging. Now shove it in farther. Kind of hard to breathe, right? Now start sucking. I promise if you continue for a few minutes, you'll be in some serious jaw pain. That is what taking a giggle stick to the mouth feels like—except imagine it with someone's hand on your head and the pressure to make sexy eyes. It's not pleasant. "

Veronica


22. That shot be so nasty and freaky.

"That shot be so nasty and freaky I won’t never do that for lots of money."

Aneysha

Read this: 17 Men Confess Why They HATE Going Down On Women

15 Post-Sex Snapchats People Took Of Their Bad Hookups That’ll Make You Laugh Your Ass Off

Posted: 23 Dec 2016 07:00 PM PST

1. Can you guess?

1

2. He seems to have even made himself a cup of coffee

2

3. Multi-snap complaint

3

4. What happened last night??

4

5. This will be an awkward conversation later…

5

6. “Who is he?”

6

7. Do you really not remember any of this?

7

8. He’s not even awake and she wants him out

8

9. He doesn’t look very happy

9

10. SOS SOS She’s trapped

10

11. She seems to have made herself comfortable

11

12. His face says it all…

12

13. This guy can’t take a hint

13

14. A hookup of a different type

14

15. And the most accessible hookup of all…

15

21 Real Things I Have Done Because I Was Very, Very Depressed

Posted: 23 Dec 2016 06:00 PM PST

12983860_10154947022868438_2366186135494937815_o

1. Skipped my own birthday dinner.

2. Left text messages and emails unread and unanswered for days.

3. Texted everyone in my contacts.

4. Slept for 12 hours a night, and then took naps throughout the day.

5. Decided 3 hours of sleep a night was more than enough for me to just exist.

6. Taken Adderall to fake some kind of basic motivation to do work.

7. Not showered for a week. Multiple times.

8. Showered twice a day for a week. Multiple times.

9. Consumed an entire box of Strawberry Pop-Tarts in one sitting while binge-watching Freaks and Geeks in the dark at 12pm.

10. Decided that a spoonful of peanut butter would be a sufficient meal.

11. Avoided going out with friends

12. Harassed my friends into going out with me and staying out with me until the very early hours of the morning (against their will).

13. Watched videos of veterans reuniting with their dogs to make myself cry/feel something.

14. Not get out of bed or change my clothes for days.

15. Exercised for five hours a day to avoid human contact and to also, again, try to make myself feel something.

16. Gotten irrationally angry with everyone for not paying attention to me.

17. Gotten irrationally angry with everyone because they're paying too much attention to me.

18. Hysterically sobbed (feat. snot and hiccups) in my therapist's office before asking her what she's been up to these days.

19. Apologized to my diary, an inanimate notebook, about how bad I’ve been about writing in it regularly.

20. Lied down on the bathroom floor at work for 30 minutes, contemplating what my purpose in life is.

21. Considered whether I'm just doing this all for attention. TC mark

It’s Time To Stop Settling For The Kinds Of Lovers Who Do These 6 Things

Posted: 23 Dec 2016 05:00 PM PST

yeahitsronald
yeahitsronald

Attraction can come packaged in many ways, but we all know sugar isn’t good for you.

I haven’t had my share of ‘lovers’, per se, but I’ve definitely had my fair share of failed ‘whatarewe?’-ships. Getting to know someone on an intimate level–spiritually and emotionally–is a journey in itself. Sometimes it blossoms, other times…it just doesn’t work out. One thing I’ve definitely learned through all of these interactions with other partners is that shit ain’t always pretty. Unfortunately, I’ve found myself deep in situations where I was extremely unhappy. all. of. the. time. I would be on the phone telling my friends, “Gir, I’m SO done with his ass! Fuck him!” But a text or a phone call later, a half-ass sorry and I’m over at the crib Netflix & chillin’. But not really chillin.’ (Cough) It’s funny now, yes–but when you’re in this sort of situation you don’t realize the perpetual cycle you are creating for yourself. The more you forgive him from his faux apologies, the more you keep feeding the toxic meter, the more you find yourself getting upset about everything the individual does, the more you find yourself falling into this fuckboi/(girl) abyss. It’s deadly.

If you find yourself constantly making excuses for the limitations of your happiness or the hostage of your smile, I need you to read this. If you find yourself compromising you for the sake of another, I need you to read this. If you find yourself constantly wanting to cut someone off but you don’t because of time or fear, I need you to read this. If you find yourself confusing the right to have human flaws and someone who just isn’t right for your internal peace, I need you to read this. In cases like this, it’s possible that we can simultaneously be the culprit and the victim of the black magic holding us back from our utopias. Instead of falling back into the cycle of deceit, I’ve dressed it up and made it real for ya:

Beware of a ‘lover’ who…

1. Has a quick tongue, a faster trigger finger, and a slow conscience. One of the biggest tests of a relationship, or of compatibility for that matter, is going through the rain with another human being. In times of critical stress, it’s important to surround yourself with people who are supportive, patient, kind or who have the willingness to want to learn to be these things. Dealing with someone who falls under pressure and is quick to cut someone with their tongue, or points the finger in times of stress, is just not a good quality of a partner. Why would you want someone who kicks you when you’re already down? Everything can be orgasms and giggles and stardust until there’s a rough patch of some sort, then it’s the realization time. Becuase it’s in moments of rain where the growth shows its perseverance.

Examples of this fuckboi/girl language includes “Well, if you hadn’t done_____, this wouldn’t have happened, would it?”

My advice: Steer very clear. Very, very clear.

2. (Whose) number one fault is not acknowledging their faults.
there’s beauty in flaw. there’s art in imperfection. but dealing with someone who doesn’t acknowledge the fact that they have flaws is unbearable. which brings me to my next point…

3. Unconsciously drinks from Denial river…meaning they are perpetually deflecting their actions. I suppose this ties into the first and second bullet of ultimately being that fucking stubborn to take a step outside of yourself and see that there are others in this universe. (This was something I had to learn with a quickness.) It’s repulsive to encounter another individual who never sees the wrong in what they do or that, yes, you can hurt others without being unintentional. those Mr. Unintentionals are the ones you have to watch out for.

4. Lacks an apologetic tongue. Being a highly-sensitive individual, one of my tests was to learn that not everything requires an apology. Some things I just need to get the fuck over. However, I will not tolerate someone who thinks that a kiss on the neck is always going to mend an issue. You aren’t that poppin’ to make me forget the respect I have for myself. I have the right to be angry and I deserve a partner who will understand the compassion in realizing and taking responsibility for their actions. saying sorry is something we all learned as a toddler. Lezzbehonest. Dealing with someone who never takes the time to apologize but tries to get in where they (used to) fit in, is a sign of a fraudulent “lover”. run.

5. Fails to communicate. Uh, they have an app for that, you know. a plethora. So there is no reason why we shouldn’t be able to find a resolution. communication is key. If you can’t hold an open dialogue with your lover and discuss what’s on your mind, your goals in life, why you feel a certain type of way, what you both need to work on, etc. It’s time to cut it. Point blank period. If they’re the type to become irritated or annoyed when you are genuinely trying to talk and discuss the state of your relationship, they don’t deserve your energy to begin with. Quite frankly, one who fails to communicate is disregarding your basic rights to speech, and therefore, disregarding your existence. Keep your gold for yourself, boo.

6. Limits your being. Ask yourself who you were before this situationship with “x”. Are you happier now? Are you full? Do you feel like you’ve grown out of positive, intentional watering? or are you being forced to learn a lesson? is your heart’s glass emptying? Are you lost in the sauce? When I say someone limits your being, this is what I mean. there have been countless times where I felt like I couldn’t be myself around someone, so I was harvesting resentment. Ultimately I was saving my full self for someone else. At that point, what is the point? Does the person you’re with encourage you to be you, or are you finding yourself dimming your light for the sake of their shine, or the shine of the “relationship”? Quite frankly, if this person isn’t lifting you up on a pedestal, they aren’t worth your sacred energy. Someone who brings you down constantly is not watering you. Toxicity is real, and it will stunt your glo-up. The only person you need to concern yourself with is the person who makes you believe in a second sunrise.

As the great Eartha Kitt said, “Compromise? Compromise for what? I want to fall in love with myself and have someone share it with me.”

Maybe after you read this you sat there like, “Okay, Liv. This was common sense,” or maybe you’re going through a situationship with someone where these signs have your balance all the way off. And hopefully, this is your WAKETHEHELLUP moment. Then I want you to know you aren’t alone, and stay tuned for my next blog articles about how to stay sane through a rough relationship and then healing & moving on with your bad self. You deserve it. TC mark

This Is Your Poem For 2017, Based On Your Zodiac Sign

Posted: 23 Dec 2016 04:01 PM PST

Twenty20 / HOWWLS
Twenty20 / HOWWLS

Aries: So the world readies once more to try to break your spine and it feels like you are losing the same war with yourself over and over again. Stand tall, stay hunched, or crawl – it matters not as long as you reach each season's end. Your dragon heart knows better than to fall prey to a sunless sky. Remember – in times of battle, the conscious decision to keep breathing is already, in itself, an act of defiance against your biggest enemies.

Taurus: You are Persephone coaxing riverbeds of lush green to flourish from each man's desolate home and as romantic as this seems, if something isn't your burden to carry, you have no obligation to. You may be tempted to pick up other people's trash to spin them into gold, but save some of that compassion for a rainy day. You've got enough of your own baggage to deal with. Heal yourself before you heal others.

Gemini: When was the last time you took a chance on someone that wasn't you? Most days you're great at being simultaneously the sun and the moon, but if ever you reach a new low so far down you can't even see the horizon, allow people the chance to help you rise again.

Cancer: Not all trees grow at the same pace. Some grow slow, some grow fast – but they all grow regardless. As sure as the leaf sprouts again after winter, so will you. During this process cultivate the grace to let go parts of you that have wilt and rot. While you may wish to repair them, find out if it's in your best interest to walk away instead.

Leo: Patience may be a tough pill to swallow, but it's better than choking on your pride later. You don't always have to be in the driver's seat in order for things to turn out for the best. Once in a while, try to sit shotgun and relinquish control. In the road-trip of life you'll be surprised to discover the view might be nicer from the passenger's side.

Virgo: Destroying yourself may seem like the only way to get out of your own skin. Do not believe this lie. When inconveniences big and small crash on you like a waterfall on your bare back, stay calm. Be stubborn, be resilient, be alive. Your existence is a revolution.

Libra: Once again, you manage to be the radiant master of balance! You are both sunrise and sunset, chondrite and constellation. However, be wary of people's darkness erasing your light.

Scorpio: Happiness is an emotion and not a constant state of mind. It is imperative you not chase it lest you lose yourself along the way. Slow down, you'll get where you need to be. I promise.

Sagittarius: When children ask the sky who they should be like when they grow up, the clouds spell out your name. You're too much of a celestial being to fool anyone to think you're anything other than holy, but still – don't forget it's okay to be human.

Capricorn: Crack open your skull until you find each and every demon that has made home in the crevices of your brain. Get to know them, become their best friend, take them to church, to the gym, to class, to work, to the supermarket ten blocks away just so you can have an excuse to spend a bit more time with them. You are the demon of your demons, the lord of perseverance.

Aquarius: Angels sing about you. Snowflakes compete to be as one-of-a-kind as you. With the planets falling into place like head-over-heels suitors at your feet, there's really not much else to say except – you don't know what hidden gifts still sleep betwixt your joints. If you wake them up, the world is yours for the taking (and you deserve it).

Pisces: You may be one of the only dreamers left willing to float past society's meticulously drawn outlines. Paint the ocean with your laughter. Graffiti the sidewalk with your smile. There's still magic lying somewhere in the streets of this old city and you are not afraid to find it. Go! TC mark

It’s Time To Let Go Of The One That Got Away

Posted: 23 Dec 2016 03:00 PM PST

Adi Constantin
Adi Constantin

We all hold onto that one person. The one that (we think) was perfect. He is the one that we still think about today – the one that crosses our minds in moments when we least expect it. We wonder if he still thinks about us. When we think about him, those feelings of "what if" and "why" resurface. Of course we still wonder if he still thinks about us – if he still remembers how good we had it. And even if we try to hide it, he is the one that we still picture in our fantasized future, flawless and unscathed.

He is the one that got away.

Now that he’s gone, we wonder how we could have let him go. Why did we let him go…what were we thinking? The "could’ves" and "should’ves" eat away at us and our thoughts begin to move in circles. Could we have fought harder? Should we have stayed together? Why didn't we realize what we had when we still had it? As we go down this road, we start to wonder – should we reach out again? Maybe he was worth fighting for.

We romanticize him because we cared for him in a way that we hadn't cared for someone before. We romanticize him because we are only remembering the good parts – the butterflies, the button down shirts, and the late night walks and phone calls. We remember what we fell for and how our hearts felt.  We remember feeling that he was our forever boy.

But we don't like to remind ourselves of the reasons why things didn't work out.

We try not to remember all of the things that could've been better, and all of the ways that we weren't meant for each other. We brush these realizations aside because these are more painful. These don't bring us back to that same warm and safe place. Instead we just focus on the good times. We forget about the way our connection slowly died. We forget about the way he closed himself off, little by little, then all at once. We forget about the ways we became distant, and the ways our lives began to split into our own separate paths.

Whether we think about the good times, or we think about the broken times, nothing changes in the story.

Whether you let him go, or he let you go, he still got away. No matter how it ended, something changed or something was missing. Something happened. Maybe you truly felt like he was perfect for you. Maybe you still loved him long after it ended. But you have to remember the truth and the facts. There was something that got in the way – something that was stronger than the relationship. Something just wasn’t meant to be.

You see, he’s the one that got away for a reason. He was never here to stay.

No matter what, he was never going to be “the one.” If he was really meant to be in your life, he would be. As simple as that. He wouldn’t be the one that got away – he would be the one that stayed. He wouldn’t be the one in the past, he would be the one in the now. Whether he left you or you left him, whether the timing just was never right, or whether one of you fell for someone else, he still left. Or you still left. Whether he fought for you or whether he walked away, he still stopped fighting. Or maybe you stopped fighting. But either way, he still got away.

This doesn’t mean that you can’t still think about him, or that you can't love the parts of him that changed you. This doesn’t mean that you need to forget about him – he became a part of who you are today. This doesn't mean that he didn't love or that you shouldn't have been together. You don't need to be torn up by regret.

But it does mean that you can release your sadness and relieve your regrets. In the moment, the situation was perfect for you. But now you are in a new moment. Now you are in a new stage. And he is no longer for you. He wasn't the one for you.

You see the one for you is still out there.

Maybe you’re with him now, or maybe you’re not. The one that is worth it is the one that stays; the one that you hold on to. The one that is worth it is the one that is worth fighting for and the one that thinks you are worth fighting for.

Let yourself remember the one that got away, let yourself think about him. But understand that you don’t need to delve back into the past – you don’t need to try to do it all over again. He got away for a reason. You don’t need to pine for him or wait for him to come around again. He got away because he isn’t your forever boy.

Wait for the one that is.

Wait for the one that stays. TC mark

This Is What I Mean When I Say I Have Trust Issues

Posted: 23 Dec 2016 02:00 PM PST

Thought.is
Thought.is

When I say I have trust issues, I don’t mean that I’m unwilling to take a chance on love. That I’m going to refuse to date, because I’m too terrified of the potential that I’ll get hurt. That I believe I’m better off on my own and am never going to give relationships a shot.

I mean that I’ve watched so many different relationships collapse that I don’t see how any manage to stay standing. I mean that I’m a realist who understands how often people lie, how often people cheat. I mean that I’m scared, but I will take the chance. I will let myself love. It just won’t be easy for me.

When I say I have trust issues, I don’t mean that my paranoia has complete power over me. I don’t mean that I’m going to restrict you from hanging out with female friends or burst into tears when you fail to notice my new haircut.

I mean that I’m wary of being replaced. That I don’t think as highly of myself as I should. That I’m worried about you finding someone that gets you better than I do, that treats you better than I ever could.

When I say I have trust issues, I don’t mean that I’m going to invade your privacy. That I’m going to search through your bedroom drawers and try to crack the code to your iPhone. I don’t mean that I’m going to be suspicious of everything you do.

I mean that I’m going to expect open and honest communication. That I’m going to ask you questions about work and your family and your exes, so I feel like I’m in the loop. That I’m going to come to you when I have doubts about us, so we can work things out instead of letting my fears fester.

When I say I have trust issues, I don’t mean that I’m going to unfairly accuse you of cheating on me. It doesn’t mean I’m going to act irrationally and spark needless fights. It doesn’t mean that I’m giving myself permission to be an asshole and treat you like a liar, even though you’ve done nothing to betray me.

I mean that there are going to be moments when my insecurity overshadows my intellect. When a pretty girl walks by and I get quiet, because I’m comparing myself to her. When we have a fight and my crying is uncontrollable, because I’m worried you’re about to leave. When I doubt our relationship for silly little reasons.

When I say I have trust issues, I don’t mean that I’m against the idea of marriage and children and moving in together. I don’t mean that I’m going to keep my secrets to myself and completely shut you out. I don’t mean that I’m going to act like a stranger, instead of your teammate.

I mean that I’m going to prepare myself for a life without you. That I won’t let myself rely on you to pay every bill and wash every dish. That I’m going to sustain my independence, just in case things end. Just in case I end up on my own again. TC mark

11 Things You Need To Understand About Anxiety (That Most People Aren’t Aware Of)

Posted: 23 Dec 2016 01:00 PM PST

Thought.is
Thought.is

1. Anxiety is not just ‘worrying’.

Worrying and being stressed out are completely different animals than having anxiety and being diagnosed with a mental illness. While of course stress and worry can do damage on your health, anxiety is not just biting your nails or freaking out about exams during finals.

2. Having anxiety is truly a chemical imbalance in the brain.

Anxiety is a true illness. It is not like a broken leg where you can put a cast on it, and let it heal. It takes therapy and medication sometimes to help symptoms, but that doesn’t necessarily mean those symptoms will go away permanently.

3. When someone is having a panic attack, telling them to ‘calm down’ won’t help.

When someone is having a panic attack, you can’t reason with them or give them orders to just ‘relax’ or ‘breathe’. Panic attacks have a mind of their own, and they are truly powerful.

4. If someone takes medicine for anxiety, that doesn’t mean that they are unstable.

Because there is a chemical imbalance in their brain, medicine is the key to some people for effectively taking their symptoms to a level where they can about their day to day life without a high level of worry.

5. Anxiety does not equal weakness.

Just because someone struggles with anxiety or any mental illness for that matter, doesn’t mean that they are smaller than you or weaker than you in any way. Their brains are wired differently. There should never be any shame in having anxiety, just like there should never be any shame for having a cold or for having a broken arm.

6. Most people with anxiety are braver than most people.

People who struggle with this illness are incredibly brave and strong. They have to go about their day to day lives, and on top of everyday challenges, they have to try to conquer their own demons. For some, it is a battle every damn day.

7. Panic attacks and anxiety can happen out of nowhere. There doesn’t need to be a reason for it.

A lot of the time when people have panic attacks, others will try to come up with a reason as to why it happened. But sometimes, there isn’t any reason. There doesn’t have to be a reason.

8. Having a panic attack is not a dramatic cry for help.

Many people who don’t understand anxiety, don’t understand how someone could think they are dying when they realistically are fine. What you need to know, is that, when people have panic attacks, there is no connection between reality and what they are truly feeling. Panic attacks make individuals truly think that they are taking their last few breaths. To know that feeling and to have experienced it, is not dramatic at all. It’s just scary.

9. You aren’t any better or stronger than someone who has a mental illness.

We all have obstacles to go through in this world. We all have our struggles and our personal issues that we have to deal with. If you know someone who has a mental disorder, don’t treat them as if they are any less of a beautiful person than someone who doesn’t have a mental disorder.

10. Anxiety comes and goes as it pleases.

Anxiety can leave just as often as it can come back to you. Some days, you can feel on top of the world, and some days you can feel utterly miserable with anxiety and panic raining down on you.

11. Anxiety is a not a laughing matter.

Anxiety is not a joke. Anxiety is not funny. Anxiety is not something to ever laugh at. Period. TC mark

I Have No Interest In Being Your Manic Pixie Dream Girl

Posted: 23 Dec 2016 12:45 PM PST

(500) Days of Summer
(500) Days of Summer

I’m in a record store, blunt bangs sticking to my forehead. I probably look like Walmart Zooey Deschanel, dress not perfectly vintage, just old. Holes in my leggings from my dog jumping up on me whenever she sees me.

A man approaches, starts with, “Has anyone ever told you who you look like?” And I smile, do the appropriate blush and feigned interest. He could be nice, sure. No doubt. The compliment of comparison is appreciated.

But this is somehow not enough. It’s not enough to look like your schoolboy crush, you’ve got to craft my personality into hers too, fictional. Make me one-dimensional.

You got some lines for me to recite? Drop them off at my door.

“You look like *INSERT WHOEVER YOU WANT*”

Always the same story, different characters.

A dude I went to high school with DMs me, “I just think you’re so interesting,” without even knowing me. Never had a single conversation in school, just sees my face and body and sailor mouth. Sorry, not interested in being your Penny Lane.

I’m not gonna be the one to save you, when I’m depressed and anxious and trying to just keep my fucking head above water without the added pressure of someone making me their fantasy.

I’m not gonna dance in a field to Florence + the Machine while you sketch me, while you figure out your deep-seated issues.

You’ll get to know me and it will be a disappointment when you discover I’m nothing like your TV screen. TC mark