Thought Catalog


14 Men Reveal The Little Things Women Can Do That Instantly Trigger Thoughts Of ‘Wife Material’

Posted: 26 Dec 2016 08:00 PM PST

Thought.Is
Thought.Is

1. A lot of little things

Listening to me when I speak. Making me feel wanted; not necessarily in a sexual way, but in a way that you actually are enjoying the time we spend together. Smile into our kisses. Rub my back when you hug me. Tell me you are going to miss me. Tell me that I mean something to you. Lay your head on my chest when we sleep; not all night, but long enough that I get that comforting wave over my body. Randomly sit on my lap when we are watching TV.

Let me have the last scoop of Half Baked Ice Cream. Hold my hand when we walk the dog. Hold my hand in the mall. Hold my hand around your friends. Remember to introduce me to people I don’t know and you do. Don’t care about Facebook/Instagram relationship status. Don’t look at your phone when we are at dinner, lunch, breakfast, watching our show, having a conversation. PICK A FUCKING PLACE TO EAT EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE. Share the covers.

— MrUniversity

2. Take a little initiative

Put some effort and initiative into the relationship. Don’t make us feel like we’re 100% responsible for everything.

Be the one to plan a date. Don’t wait for a good morning text every morning – be the one to send it now and then. Once in a while, be the one initiating sex.

— jacobmo

3. Hold me (please)!

Seriously though there seems to be a weird imbalance in hugging. I ask my GF to hug me all the time, but it’s like she still doesn’t quite get it. We might be cuddling with my arms around her, and I ask her to hug me back, to which she replies “…but I am here”.

Yes baby, but I am the one doing the spooning, petting and comforting. I mean I don’t mind giving, and it’s nice to just hold her but sometimes I want to receive a hug as well! :)

Also hanging on my neck is not a great hug. Actually take your arms and wrap them around the person you like and squeeze!

— kissapuu

4. Letting me nap on you

Let me nap on her. I don’t know why, but laying my head on my gal’s lap knocks me right out.

— KhaosElement

5. Any signs of affection

Any freely given, unsolicited affection. Nothing makes me feel more special than walking down the street with the lady and getting a kiss out of nowhere while waiting for the pedestrian traffic light, or similar situations. In most of my relationships, I’ve had to initiate the intimacy, even when it comes to the small stuff like hugs snuggles and non-sexy kisses.

Obviously it is nice that it is reciprocated, but when it spontaneously given it makes me feel like for once I didn’t have to do something to earn the affection, that the affection is just there because I am who I am and she loves me. I think in a lot of cases girls get to feel that way all the time – they’re constantly validated whether men are pursuing them or keeping them happy in a relationship – it’s extra special when I get to feel that way.

— admiralfilgbo

6. Getting physically close to me

I like being touched and being physically close to the people I love. So anything from sitting up against each other to cuddling etc. really make me feel loved.

— Demyk7

7. Seeing a pattern? Do something proactive.

I can count on one hand the number of times a GF has ever proactively done something nice/thoughtful for me or initiated intimacy or even complimented me.

And that’s from about 15 years total relationship experience, co-habitation, and 1 marriage.

— Negative-1

8. Make me feel appreciated

Leaving me little handwritten notes randomly saying thank you or I love you. Suggesting to me that I can play a video game and she’ll just sit/lay on me and just watch. I’ve seen it mentioned here already but I’ll just echo, when she initiates sex.

I don’t mean start lightly kissing me I mean like grab me and throw me on the bed, rip my clothes off and just get after it. Also doing household chores for me when I don’t have time, and a home-cooked meal when I’m expected to do nothing, just enjoy. It’s really not hard to make a guy feel loved and appreciated, it’s the little things.

— nikefresh3

9. Silence together

I like being hugged… but more than that, I like it when she shuts up while we hug. I wanna lay on the bed with her for an hour in silence. Just happy in each others arms.

Ideally just after work, let’s just unwind & release all that shitty tension and then get to real life afterwards. But please, no talking… it ruins it…

— quartilius

10. Little signs of appreciation

You say that you’ve been able to observe the instances where guys put in effort to make their ladies feel happy, right? As a guy, all I’d want is some form of appreciation for that effort.

It doesn’t have to be massive or anything. But as a guy, something within me compels me to “take care” of the girl I’m dating. Make her feel safe, protected, happy and taken care of. Not that I’ll baby her or coddle her, but I like the idea of acting as a man who makes the girl I’m dating feel like she’s with someone who takes care of her. I like actions or words on her part that make me feel like I’m doing just that.

Whether it’s a random kiss, an “I love you”, a moment to just hug me and feel close to me, a cuddle session; whatever the case may be. If I’m making her feel loved, let me see in her actions that she feels loved. If I’m making her feel happy, safe, turned on, content, whatever, let me “see the fruits of my labor”, if you will.

— sykilik101

11. Anything

Literally anything. Some girls still act like their only responsibility in a relationship is granting the guy permission to date them.

— Kenny-Fucken-Powers

12. Texting us first

I loved the way my ex used to text me or greet me by saying “Hey Handsome”

Still warms my heart to this day

— RiskyClickardo

13. A few things to keep in mind

Be vocally thankful and use the things he provides/does. Brag about the things he does subtly to other people while he is around or to him way after he has done something. IMO people love praise as long as it doesn’t become pandering. Thank him right after but go into more detail later/while you are using it.

Understand his shortcomings and try to fill the gaps without being asked. Keep a list of the things he complains about and try to fix them.

Buy him things related to his hobbies the same way guys buy jewelry and flowers. Another option is to buy stuff that makes his life easier. Attach a note about making life a little bit easier for your favorite hard working man.

Be attracted to him and show it. Always try to hold his hand, feel him up, whisper what you are thinking in his ear, initiate sex, ask him to do manly things in a sexualized way and watch like a creeper.

Value his opinions and emotions. Let him be “weak” and give him a safe place to do it. For me the difference between talking to people I like and people I love is how vulnerable I’m willing to make myself. Make it known that his opinion matter more than anyone else’s.

Love notes are great. You don’t hear about it but guys love that shit especially when it isn’t expected. Be detailed. Use a pen and paper. Make it so good we will actually feel bad about even thinking about throwing it away. Leave them in unexpected places.

This is a specific one: If you get pregnant ask if he would be okay naming the kid after themselves. Tell him that you want the kid to be named after the best person you know or something along those lines.

Buy him things you like him in. You like his ass in those pants? Buy more. Buy those sexy boxer briefs. Dress him like his favorite movie star/character (I like modern James Bond, I know you go through my comments). Express why you like the things you are giving him.

Don’t make anything about what he should be doing for you. Valentines day shouldn’t just be a day for him to show how much he loves you. Weddings should be about him too.

If you see his porn history, use it for his benefit. Don’t question it, at all, ever.

Ask him for nudes or send him some (be safe and learn about encryption) and security). If you can afford it, get professional shots done and get it printed out in a book. My leather bound book of porn from my wife is amazing.

Tell him you love during normal times. Anytime you feel comfortable or at ease give him a quick kiss and “I love you”.

— elementsofevan

14. Have our back in all situations

Make me feel that you’ve my back because I’ll always have yours, that when shit hits the fan I can count on you being by my side as a rock solid wall of support because I will be there for all the times when you’ll need me, give me that feeling that I can trust you with my life because you can trust me with yours.

If a woman could give me that feeling, there’s nothing more that I ask for.

— 22SAS TC mark

50 Sexy Questions To Ask A Girl If You Want To Know What She’s Like In Bed

Posted: 26 Dec 2016 07:00 PM PST

Thought.is
Thought.is

1. What does it feel like when you orgasm?

2. What do you need to happen for your orgasm to be absolutely mind-blowing?

3. What's one thing that's made you feel unexpectedly good in bed?

4. What's one thing that you hesitated to try during sex but ended up loving?

5. Are you a screamer? A moaner?

6. How did you learn to masturbate, and how old were you when you first succeeded?

7. What's your favorite method for getting yourself off?

8. What types of props have you used during sex?

9. What’s your favorite kind of foreplay?

10. Have you ever repurposed a regular household item as a sex toy? If so, which one(s)?

11. If you had to choose, would you be a dominatrix or a submissive?

12. What's the nastiest thing you've ever said to get someone off?

13. What's the dirtiest thing you've ever sexted someone?

14. Do you like taking naked photos of yourself?

15. What’s your personal record for the number of times you’ve had sex in one night?

16. What's the most daring place you've done it in public?

17. What sexual position makes you feel most like yourself?

18. In what position to you orgasm most reliably?

19. What's your favorite way to get a man off?

20. What’s your favorite blowjob technique?

21. What makes you wet without fail?

22. What's your favorite strategy for getting him to cum asap?

23. How many different ways have you orgasmed?

24. What, if anything, makes you feel vulnerable when you're naked with someone?

25. What makes you feel comfortable when you're naked someone?

26. What's your favorite part of a man's body?

27. What's your favorite part of your own body?

28. What's the dirtiest dream you've ever had?

29. Have you ever made an erotic fantasy come true?

30. If you had one day left to live, how would you want it?

31. Who's the one person in this world you wish you could fuck?

32. What's the dirtiest thought you've ever had?

33. What's the sexiest compliment you've ever gotten?

34. What's the sexiest compliment you've ever given?

35. How do you like your pussy to be licked?

36. Do you like it rough or gentle?

37. What's the most sexually daring thing you've ever done?

38. What's the naughtiest thing you've ever asked someone to do to you?

39. How would you describe the taste of your own vagina?

40. What does your ideal penis look like?

41. How seriously do you take your sex life?

42. What turns you on the most about the opposite sex?

43. What is your hottest sexual memory?

44. What's your biggest sexual fear?

45. If you could take on any fictional character's personality in bed, who would you be?

46. What’s your favorite sex toy to play with?

47. Have you ever had sex with two different people in one night?

48.  How good are you at faking an orgasm? Show me…

49. How many different people have you had great sex with?

50. What's the one sex act you want to try before you die? TC mark

Real Sex Stories book cover
Read more writing like this in Mélanie Berliet’s book Real Sex Stories That Will Make You Really Horny here.

37 Straight Guys Confess The Gayest Thing They’ve Ever Done

Posted: 26 Dec 2016 06:00 PM PST

Illustration by Daniella Urdinlaiz
Illustration by Daniella Urdinlaiz
Found on AskReddit.

1. My friend told me he was gay…I was so surprised I nearly choked on his penis.

"My friend told me he was gay…I was so surprised I nearly choked on his penis."

roy_cropper


2. Full anal but made sure the balls didn’t touch.

"Full anal but made sure the balls didn’t touch."

The_Alderman


3. Pissed on each other. He started it.

"Pissed on each other. He started it."

11AWannabe


4. I shared a pizza with one guy. Never again.

"I shared a pizza with one guy. Never again."

SteamedHams123


5. I did over an hour of naked karaoke duets with another dude at a nudist resort. There were a lot of Elvis songs.

"I did over an hour of naked karaoke duets with another dude at a nudist resort. There were a lot of Elvis songs.

I also made out with a bisexual guy at a swinger party. My wife and some other women said it would be hot. It didn’t do anything for me but the women were into it. That was less gay than the naked Karaoke."

SecretSinner


6. I accidentally touched a guy's hand while I was giving him his change. I guess you could say Im a flaming homosexual.

"I accidentally touched a guy's hand while I was giving him his change. I guess you could say I'm a flaming homosexual."

AresPhobos


7. Butt sex but I said no homo so it wasn’t gay.

"Butt sex but I said no homo so it wasn’t gay."

Immortal_Azrael


8. Drunk naked rollerblading in a park with erotic posing with my best friend, Peyton.

"Drunk naked rollerblading in a park with erotic posing with my best friend, Peyton. I was very drunk."

Corvus_Alendar


9. I told my buddy, 'That’s a nice tie' once, but what I really meant was put your dick in my mouth but in a platonic sort of way.

"I told my buddy, 'That’s a nice tie' once, but what I really meant was put your dick in my mouth but in a platonic sort of way. No homo."

BartoSan17


10. Watched the first four episodes of Gilmore Girls.

"Watched the first four episodes of Gilmore Girls."

permalink


11. I showed a crowd of dudes my dick for a snow cone.

"Either when I kissed a dude or the time I showed a crowd of dudes my dick for a snow cone. Both at Burning Man."

5pt


12. In high school my and my friend put little Barbie-sized cowboy hats on our erections and had a stand off at high noon.

"In high school my and my friend put little Barbie-sized cowboy hats on our erections and had a stand off at high noon."

ArmbarMike


13. I once had a guy lick cream off my chest while I was wearing a bikini.

"I once had a guy lick cream off my chest while I was wearing a bikini."

Filthybeing


14. In a matter of minutes we’re both jerking off on the couch next to each other.

"Jerked off with a friend.

It was in high school. I was spending the night at my friend’s house. It was a sweltering summer night, so my friend and I were in just our boxers, hanging out in his back house.

Porn somehow comes on TV (I can’t remember if he put it in a DVD or what). We’re just talking about the girls and next thing I know my friend is obviously hard and rubbing himself. I start to do it too. In a matter of minutes we’re both jerking off on the couch next to each other. He cums really fast and I immediately feel awkward. I finally end up cumming…into a sock. It was weird because we just acted like nothing happened. He turned off the porn and we started playing Mario Kart. Never talked about it again and we were friends for years."

SchlongPrincess


15. My mother looked out the window to check on us and saw us both dicks in the air.

"One time in high school me and a buddy were swimming in my pool and for reasons unknown my buddy floated on his back, stuck only his dick out of the water and made the jaws duh-nuh noise repeatedly. So I did the same for a good ten minutes. My mother looked out the window to check on us and saw us both dicks in the air. That was a weird conversation with her later that day."

1quick69


16. Me and a friend one time raced to see who could jerk off faster.

"As drunk teenagers me and a friend one time raced to see who could jerk off faster. He won, I was a little weirded out that he came in like 12 seconds. Another time he held my dick while I took a piss. I was holding his too if you’re wondering."

dBob


17. I had to hold my friend's dick for a good minute whilst he pissed in my parents' garden.

"On New Year's Eve my friend got extremely drunk and got somebody to duct tape two liter bottles of cider to his hands so that he couldn’t use them until he finished the bottles. I was outside in the garden and he came up and said in the most desperate voice ever “i really need to piss, please man..” so i helped him pull his pants down to his ankles. He just looked at me with that same sad desperate look and said “i’ll piss on my shorts, you’ll have to..”

I had to hold my friends dick for a good minute whilst he pissed in my parents' garden because he taped alcohol too his hands."

80sHaze


18. Me and a group of friends used to put porn on the TV and jerk off with each of us in different chairs in the living room.

"In middle school me and a group of friends used to put porn on the TV and jerk off with each of us in different chairs in the living room. We never really looked at each other or talked about it to much.

Sometimes you gotta run one out right?"

AC-Stark


19. He jacked me off. I nutted.

"Took a shower with another guy. He jacked me off. I nutted.

Never again."

BIOJTTIA


20. He slipped money in my shorts to give me a HJ.

"Gay for pay story: Close friend in HS apparently liked me the entire time. Shouldn’t have been oblivious after the times he tried to get my girlfriend and I to be physical for him to watch.

Anyway, kept asking questions about my masturbating, for details of my dick and eventually slipped money in my shorts to give me a HJ. I laid back and accepted, with my friend eventually trying to turn it into a BJ.

Years later, we both messed around."

YoungCosmo


21. Accidentally went on a date with a dude.

"Finally, I can tell this story.

I am a standup comedian, and one Saturday night, I did a show for about 200 people at a club in Cincinnati. After the show, I get a Facebook friend request from a dude who was at the show, and he talks about how I was funny and he said that I was the cutest guy in the club that night. I was on such a comedy high (it was my first paid weekend) that I thought nothing of it. We talked for a little bit through Facebook IM.

Thinking he was just a fan of comedy, I accepted his offer to get lunch with him at a restaurant near where I lived at the time. We go, eat, and have a pretty decent conversation.

Afterwards, we shake hands, and go our separate ways. The moment I pull up to my apartment, my phone buzzes, and it’s a text from that dude. The text said (and I quote) “Do you have any interest in being more than friends?”

Everything hit me at once. I felt like a moron.

TL;DR – Accidentally went on a date with a dude."

alexschubs


22. I had gay sex with a Russian, he called his mom during said sex and felt horrible about it.

"When I was in Uni, I experimented with my dorm mate, an exchange student from Russia in my freshman year.

We didn’t do anything besides hold hands and cuddle for awhile, then the ‘incident’ happened.

We were wrapped in a blanket, watching god knows what in the dead of night and I wanted to do more than just kiss.

I looked at him and he knew what was up. I bent over the couch and he stood behind me.

But wait! There’s more, everything was going normally until he pulled out his phone. He started yelling in Russian, which was a total boner killer for me but he was still going at it.

The yelling went on until he came and starting crying.

Apparently, he felt so guilty having gay sex, he called his mom and told her what was happening then hung up before she could respond (and presumably disown him).

After that we just drifted apart, he switched to a single person dorm and I got a new dorm mate after that.

No homo, I think he’s alright now.

TL;DR – I had gay sex with a Russian, he called his mom during said sex and felt horrible about it."

SaeedShabazz


23. He fucked me and it was pretty good.

"Hung out with a guy I sort’ve knew through someone else. I knew he was gay. We would hang out a few times, just chatting and watching TV at his place.

At some point we went quiet and he moved closer to me. We made out for a while. Then our hands moved to each other’s crotches and so soon enough we blew each other. His dick was pretty big. It was a lot of fun to give head.

On that basis I figured, “why not?”. He fucked me and it was pretty good. After a while it started to hurt but I insisted he finished first. Gotta see it through if you’ve agreed to have a dick in your ass.

After all that was over we cuddled for a bit and watched some more TV then I went home. Saw him a few times after that with mutual friends but never hooked up again, but it never got weird. Just had some fun. I’m with a long time girlfriend now. She knows about it and is cool with it.

10/10 would recommend."

ShowMeYourCreampies


24. I’ve gotten brojobs before.

"I’ve gotten brojobs before.

I’m not attracted to men and cannot see myself in a serious relationship with a man but I like brojobs just for the pleasure. I’ve also gotten bjs from women. Men are much better at it and seem to like it more than most women."

SirGanjaSpliffington


25. We were ‘those girls’, but with dicks.

"Drunken makeouts with other guys at parties for laughs. We were ‘those girls’, but with dicks. Way creepier."

trandaddfk


26. We were all sweaty and completely naked, grunting while lifting huge weight.

"Three of us. All big, pretty hairy guys. Got drunk at the pub. Went back to one of our houses to carry on drinking in his backgarden.

He had weights and a bench in his garage. We were at the stage of drunk where you have the burning desire to prove your masculinity. It was a really hot, humid summer night, so we dragged the bench out into the backgarden.

One thing led to another… And before long, we were all sweaty and completely naked, grunting while lifting huge weights and shouting deliberately campy slogans like ‘PUSH IT!’ and “FEEL THE BURN!” Apparently, his neighbors never looked at him the same again.

To this day, the gayest thing I’ve ever done. And I’ve done a guy in the butt."

nousernameusername


27. Stopped him when his penis touched my butt.

"Thought I might be gay. So I and my best friend at the time tried having sex. I went bottom. Stopped him when his penis touched my butt."

Scutum


28. Guys give the best head, generally speaking.

"I’ve had my dick sucked by a handful of men.

Maybe I’m not totally straight, but I’m at the far, far end of the bell curve in terms of female sexual partners. I’m 37 and have been tending bar my whole adult life, so it comes with the territory.

I used to be totally open about my hetero-flexibility with the girls I dated, but one who I really liked got super freaked out about it and now I just keep my mouth shut. But I’m not ashamed at all. It’s true: Guys give the best head, generally speaking. :D"

NotRevealingGayStuff


29. We would play the boner game with the goal of achieving the fastest boner.

"Join the Marines…

Boot camp, 97 guys lined up naked, ass to balls, and then we have to run through the shower room to take our shower…

While in France, there were 6 guys to a room. Every night we would play the jerk off the game and with the goal of all of us choking the clown at the same time until we came. The winner went to sleep first.

In Korea, while waiting we decided to play gay chicken… the gay guy won.

While in a formation for a change of command ceremony, we would play the boner game with the goal of achieving the fastest boner. Once a boner was achieved we would make a clicking sound. We did this to pass the time."

CubanDevil13


30. I played 'gay chicken' in the Navy.

"There is an unspoken rule in the Navy. 'Never let anyone know that something bothers you' There is also a game known as 'gay chicken.' Basically, do everything you can, just shy of actual penetration, to make the other guy cringe or give up. In the interest of not having dick in your face constantly you do your best to not react when someone pulls some gay moves on you. In that context I have done, or had done to me, just about everything except bj, hj, and sex. Never had another guy get me off, nor have I assisted a guy in getting off. Not gay underway, not queer at the pier. edit Totaly straight, married with 2 kids. Just not bothered by gay guys. Not into it, not against it."

Uckheavy1


31. One time I sucked this guy’s dick in the woods.

"One time I sucked this guy’s dick in the woods. There was something just so primal about it. Two sapiens rubbing each other in the wild… no homo."

grate_speller


32. Shared a straw with a friend.

"Shared a straw with a friend. We were at a movie, Suicide Squad I think. Crappy movie, the straw tasted nice though.

Oh, and rubbed my ass against his crotch."

brickmack


33. Friend and I had heard of 69ing so we decided to try it out.

"Friend and I had heard of 69ing so we decided to try it out. Pretty fucking great. I’m straight but I’ll suck some dick every now and then."

GrumpySarlacc


34. He used his mouth to blow air into my butthole so I could fart really loud.

"When you are a man and you have a best friend you would take a bullet for no questions asked, many questionably gay things can occur with no questions or explanation. I’m only 23 and I have had the same 2 best friends for 11 years. One of them is a dad of twins now. The one who is a dad has used his mouth to blow air into my butthole so I could fart really loud."

DozingWoW


35. We decided it would be hilarious if someone got slapped in the face with someone else’s dick.

"In high school I used to have weekly sleepovers with my friends. There would be upwards of 12 people sleeping over at my house. It was chaos and my parents are angels for putting up with it. Quite a few things of questionable sexual orientation happened at these sleepovers but I’ll pick out a couple highlights.

The first one that came to mind was when we decided it would be hilarious if someone got slapped in the face with someone else’s dick. Don’t remember how we decided who was going to be the slapper and who would be the slapee, but eventually we decided two people would get slapped. So they did. And we recorded it. In slow motion. All videos were deleted because nobody could bear to have them on their phone, but I wish I had the video still because the slapees deny it ever happening. I wasn’t the slapper or one of the slapees, but I was still there and encouraging what they were doing. There was a foreign exchange student who was hanging out with us that night. Never talked to him again.

The second thing that came to mind happened as a result of our first trip to a sex shop. Most of us were 18 now and so we went and bought a dildo for the hell of it. We got it back to my house (At one of our sleepovers again) and one of the first things someone did with it was put it in their pants and stuck it out their fly. Don’t remember who it was, but someone grabbed a fat wad of Vaseline, slapped it on the dildo and started giving him a few strokes. So naturally, we all gave it a few strokes. While it was still in the guys pants.

So yeah, I guess the gayest thing I’ve ever done is jerk off a dildo while it stuck out the fly of another mans pants."

bravecanadeah


36. I think all the gay jokes and dick drawings me and my friends made over the years totals to one giant gay orgy.

"I think all the gay jokes and dick drawings me and my friends made over the years totals to one giant gay orgy."

thisisntevenmyreal


37. Made out with another bearded dude for thirty seconds for free drinks.

"This club I’m Barcelona has this thing sometimes that if you and another straight guy make out for 30 seconds you get free drinks all night.

So this Norwegian guy and I made out so we could have free drinks. I didn’t like it. We both had big beards and I didn’t like feeling his hair in mine.

But hey, free booze."

Kolipe TC mark

25 Things You Do NOT Have To Do Before Turning 25

Posted: 26 Dec 2016 05:30 PM PST

@caitlin_connell
@caitlin_connell

1. Complain that you’re getting old.

Say it with me now: 25 IS NOT OLD. And in all honesty, neither is 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, or anything this side of half a century. You’re only ever as old as you feel; and even though you might feel more than slightly pressured to complain with your other twenty-something friends about the fact that you’re like, “now a total grandma,” please just remember that you’re actually not. Yet. Old. At all.

2. Go full grandma status.

In that vein, there is no reason to suddenly become a hermit just because you’ve officially hit your mid-twenties.

If you’re all about the introverted thing and haven’t actually enjoyed a night out since college (and didn’t really even then), that’s another story. But even if that is the case, there’s nothing wrong with getting out of your comfort zone sometimes.

Like, for happy hour with the friends you’ve just made in that new neighborhood you just moved to. C’mon, live a little!

3. Feel guilty for going full grandma status.

On the other hand, there’s so much to be said for those Netflix and chill nights – just you, a glass (or two, or three) of wine, and your bed, baby.

4. Get engaged or married.

Nope. Forget about all that weird societal pressure that is piled on via Facebook and other forms of social media. You don’t have to get engaged or married now, or ever, if you don’t want to. You don’t even have to hop into a serious relationship until you’re ready for one. Aren’t modern gender norms just fabulous that way?

5. Start trying to have a baby.

Oh, and not to mention the fact that everyone you know and their mom (no pun intended) is starting to pop ’em out like saving for your kid’s college tuition won’t actually be a major setback in the financial scheme of things.

And for the record, I have absolutely nothing against babies. I happen to think little human beings are the cutest things short of Hello Kitty stuffed animals and puppies. I just don’t want to even think about creating a life myself until I’ve got mine more than a little figured out – and I happen to believe that most of the people my age who are starting to have babies should feel the same way.

So just do yourself a favor and realize you don’t have to start freaking out about fertility medication right at this very moment. Trust me.

6. Live on your own.

There’s no shame in the roommate game.

7. Drop everything to travel the world.

Just like traveling alone, taking off in your early twenties to travel the globe is not for everyone. Though I’d never advise against traveling for the thrill of it (and to experience new people, places, and experiences), because the wanderlust struggle is oh so real – I am also a fan of working hard to get what you want… and not so much a fan of dropping everything without at least some idea of how you’ll pick it back up after the thrill of travel has slightly worn off.

8. Have already found the career of your dreams.

And if you do still feel totally unsure about how the rest of your #careergoals will play out, that’s okay too.

9. Still feel totally unsure what you want to do with your life.

Just like it’s okay to feel a little lost in your mid-twenties, it’s also okay not to. (Pro tip: Do what you love, and everything else will eventually start to fall into place.)

11. Eat your veggies all the time.

Similarly, while fruits and veggies and a balanced diet are all well and good, you’re an adult. And sometimes that means Funfetti cake and cheap champagne are what’s for dinner, because you’re in a Marie Antoinette mood and guess what? You can afford to be decadent like that – your body will bounce back.

11. Enroll yourself in a strict diet and fitness plan.

Similarly, even though I’m a huge proponent of clean eating and working out, sometimes you just have to indulge in a cupcake. Or cookie. Or eclair (because I can never resist French pastries). Whatever tickles your fancy.

12. Cut alcohol completely out of your diet for “health reasons.”

SOS. Need wine.

13. Be Instagram famous.

You also don’t need to start a blog, whether it’s fitness or foodie or fashion-related. It’s not for everyone.

14. Cut yourself off from social media.

You certainly don’t have to get 100+ likes on a picture or have more than 500 Facebook friends, but it’s not a bad thing to want to document the important things that happen in your life. Or, you know, just everyday activities. Because who doesn’t want to see photos of you and your fabulous friends at brunch?

15. Stay in touch with all your college friends.

You’re probably better off without that sorority sister who has always been more of a frenemy than an actual friend.

16. Nail down a strict budget. 

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen this splashed all over the Internet, but there is NO unspoken life rule that says you have to cut down on your caffeine intake to save money. Do it for health reasons, sure, if you feel the need; but don’t do it to “save money”! Talk about inhumane.

On a similar note, it’s a good idea to get your finances in order (re: actually start a savings account) by the time you hit 25, but I am here to tell you that there will never be a need for you to stop buying coffee. Ever.

17. Nix all your bad habits.

While loving yourself and being body positive are both things I’m fully on board with, they’re also part of a process, one that takes some people their entire lives to wrap their heads around. If you’re not fully and totally confident in yourself, your body, and your abilities yet, don’t let yourself lose fragile self-esteem points over the twenty-something struggle.

Note to self: “Be gentle, you’re still blooming.”

18. Regret the “one who got away.”

If they walked out of your life, they were meant to.

19. Listen to someone else’s advice about making a major life decision.

Whether it’s that of your parents, close friends, or a significant other’s, ultimately, your life decisions are your own to make as you see fit. If you want to go to grad school, do it – but don’t feel pressured to because your parents think you should. If you want to get married before 25, don’t let me tell you otherwise.

Just don’t base your life decisions around a need for societal validation, because that’s just wrong.

20. Your own taxes.

That’s what an accountant is for – or, you know, your dad. Or S.O. Whoever, just not you.

21. Stop waking up hungover on Sundays.

This will never be necessary in your twenties, though I can’t say it isn’t is oh so refreshing on the odd weekend when it does happen.

Also, you will probably never stop dreading Monday mornings, even if you spent all day Sunday laying in bed watching Netflix. True story.

22. Get up at the crack of dawn to work out.

Because people who wake up at 5 AM to get up and exercise are clearly inhuman. And without coffee?! Ugh, morning people.

That is not to say I don’t salute you for all that you do, because I do. Imagine… Doing real life things. In the world. Before 7 AM. *shudder*

23. Suddenly become a DIY aficionado.

If you’re not a naturally crafty person, I hate to break it to ya, but no amount of Pinterest scrolling is going to make you suddenly transform into one.

24. Become a pro at fixing ordinary household items.

Leaky sink? Flat tire? As awesome as it would be to be able to fix these things on our own, the truth is that you hire people to fix said things for a reason. Namely, so you won’t screw things up further in your quest to become an independent and by all means handy woman. And that is all I have to say about that.

Just like you don’t have to be a pro at fixing all the things, you also don’t need to know how to cook all the things either. Throwing a last minute get-together? Order some form of takeout, then just add wine to the mix and I promise, everything will be fine. (Mostly because wine is the answer to any and all issues in life. Whatever the question, wine is the answer.)

25. Have the next 5 or 10 years of your life all planned out.

By all means, write down your career and life plans. You should feel good about it, because at the end of the day, life is so much better when you have lofty goals and plans to look forward to and work towards. Just try not to feel exceedingly frustrated when things don’t go according to plan – because it’s bound to happen. TC mark

Here’s Why You Need To Let Yourself Be Vulnerable In An ‘Almost Relationship’

Posted: 26 Dec 2016 04:30 PM PST

Yoann Boyer
Yoann Boyer

You know those relationships that aren't even technically a relationship? You know the one- it's the one you want to work out more than anything in this world and you don't know how to go about doing it.

You play it cool and you let it ride out, hoping that one day that person will realize you've been putting your effort into them and hoping that they see straight through the lie of you being okay with just "being friends" … they're the ones that you hope will turn around one day and tell you "I've been loving you for the longest time" … but, it never seems to work out that way, does it? These non-relationship- relationships have the ability to cause the most heart wrenching heartbreak and it's the worst kind too – it's the kind you can't really be upset about… because you weren't dating that person, right?

I'll admit, recently there was someone who broke my heart and I mean he tore it to shreds. We never dated and he broke my heart more than someone I dated for a multitude of years. The situation was unique, we spent a great deal of time together, we went through some personal things together, we had mutual friends, etc etc etc. Although a lot of this was a situational type of thing, for months on end – that was my person that I talked to day in and day out. I will never forget the day I realized our "situation" was officially coming to a close, the day I realized that I wasn't going to be talking to him day in and day out, the day I realized that one day I'd have to face seeing him with someone else.

With the way I'm talking, you would think these feelings would be two sided, right? I mean what kind of person can feel so strongly for someone who does not feel that way towards them? I wish I knew the answer. It's hard to be on the "feelings" side of things, it's hard to be the one who can see things so clearly, it's hard to have your heart occupied by someone who has no idea that they're all you think about. It's even worse when your non-relationship- relationship ends because:

1. These things never really have a clear cut ending, most of the time they just fade and you spend your days wishing things could be different, wondering if maybe you gave up too soon.

2. You're stuck dealing with a broken heart that you can't explain, you can't talk to that person about it because you never had enough courage to tell them they had to ability to break it to.

In a situation like this, it always seems to be that we're frustrated with that person because THEY didn't see what you were seeing. But did you ever think, maybe they did and you were both too scared to talk about it? I have to wonder how many great loves have been passed by or postponed because of our inability to talk to others about feelings.

I know it's scary, I know it's vulnerable – there's a chance that it is really one sided, I'm not saying that it's always going to turn out in your favor, and I'm honestly in no place to give advice on this topic. But, I know that at this moment, my heart is broken in a way that breaks me to my core and I'd give anything to tell this person just how important they are to me.

A lot of the time, when you're the one with the feelings, it's because you've seen something in this person that you know a lot of other people haven't seen. It's because this person has opened up a unique part of themselves to you , this person has allowed themselves to be vulnerable around you.

Once you've seen that part of a person, you can't unsee it, it will forever be engrained in your memory of what kind of person they CAN be. I have to wonder; did they show you this because they're testing the waters of opening up to you?

If you're anything like me, vulnerability is just not something that happens. I do not vocalize my feelings if I think there's even a slight chance that they're one sided. I've been told that I have my guard up so high that I wouldn't know how to let someone in if I wanted to.

I disagree, I think when the right person comes around, that guard comes down. That's what happened with me, anyways, I let my guard down and this person has probably seen me at my most vulnerable. So why was I able to let him in, yet not communicate how much he meant to me? I'll never know the answer to that and most likely, this is something I'll be thinking about for a while.

If you have someone: someone that you know is a part of your life for a reason, someone that just gets you, someone that you're not afraid to apologize to when you've screwed up, also someone who is forgiving when you've made a mistake. If you have a person that has stolen your heart, tell them. Don't end up, sitting up at 12:30 in the morning, missing someone so bad that it hurts. Be honest, be vulnerable, say what you feel – because guess what? In the end, you can't say you didn't try. TC mark

What Your Zodiac Sign Says About How Good (Or Bad) You Are With Money

Posted: 26 Dec 2016 04:00 PM PST

Twenty20, @coundsheck
Twenty20, @coundsheck

Many of our spending habits are influenced by our upbringing. If you were brought up in a household that counted every penny, you may find yourself monitoring your cash flow and being very cautious with your investments as you get older. If you grew up in a house full of spendthrifts, you may carry on that tradition by "treating yourself" quite a bit.

While early spending habits may play a role in the current state of your financial health, your zodiac sign may also be a factor in your financial prowess. Some zodiac signs are better than others at conserving cash or making smart investments. Others are a bit more free with their spending. Take a look and see where you fall in the astrological spectrum!

Aries

Aries balances intellect with a wild streak — which seems to apply to this sign's financial prowess. Aries is the sign most likely to save a substantial pile of cash, and then proceed to spend it freely. This sign typically puts limitations on themselves, not allowing their bank balance to dip below a certain level no matter how wild their spending spree may be.

Taurus

Taurus's love of the finer things in life makes this astrological sign the spendthrift of the zodiac. Not only does Taurus love luxury, their generous nature makes it easy for them to plunk down some serious coin to give loved ones extravagant gifts, too. "Share the wealth" is Taurus's motto. While Taurus certainly spends hard, they work hard, too — earning every penny they make and spend!

Gemini

The financial health of Gemini is as unpredictable as this astrological sign itself. Gemini has the ability to save a tidy pile of cash without ever being tempted to spend it on something unimportant. While you may not find Gemini squandering their money on knick-knacks or trivial goods, Gemini is prone to gambling with their cash. Whether it's playing the stock market, hitting the casino, or engaging in a game of cards, some of history's biggest risk takers — such as Donald Trump and Wild West-era gunslinger / gambler Wild Bill Hickok — were born under the sign of Gemini.

Cancer

Despite being ruled by the moon and affected by shifting tides, Cancer is actually pretty even-keel when it comes to their financial health. They save quite regularly and spend on just the essentials. When Cancer does open their wallet, they do it with travel in mind. Whether it's a road trip or an exotic vacation, frugal Cancer enjoys using their savings to see the world.

Leo

This driven sign will discipline themselves to save for a big ticket item and have zero guilt about making the big purchase once they've saved enough. When it comes to financial prowess, Leo is the king of the astrological jungle and unparalleled in their ability to budget, save, spend, and bargain hunt — all while still looking like a million dollars. Homemaking mogul Martha Stewart is a shining example of Leo's entrepreneurial spirit and well-balanced sense of saving and spending.

Virgo

In terms of finances, Virgo tends to err on the side of frugality, knowing how to pinch a penny until it screams. Virgo has very few vices that put a drain on their wallets, limiting themselves to one "treat" per month. Virgo can be a bit of a foodie (coincidentally, this astrological sign actually rules the stomach and intestinal organs), and often, their "big treat" involves a delicious gourmet meal. Cerebral and outgoing, Virgo does very well with real estate — whether it's selling real estate, investment properties, flipping houses, or acting as a landlord / landlady.

Libra

Libra, represented by the scales, takes a very balanced approach to their finances: Spend a little, save a little. Libra is always saving for a rainy day, but also knows when it's time to take a step back and enjoy the fruits of their labor. Libra has a wild side and loves to use their finances to bankroll their next adventure and drag a loved one along with them on their journey. Like fellow air sign Gemini, Libra is a calculated risk taker, and like Taurus — also ruled by the Venus, Libra's planetary influence — this astrological sign enjoys using their savings to orchestrate surprises for their special someone.

Scorpio

The always-intriguing Scorpio always has money on his or her mind. Saving isn't necessarily Scorpio's strong suit. However, their inventive minds make them financial wizards when it comes to get-rich-quick schemes, or using their keen sense of analysis and preternatural intuition to observe market trends and make a few quick wins.

Sagittarius

Sagittarius has a strong work ethic and zero qualms about rolling up his or her sleeves and putting in a hard day's work. This fire sign is passionate about what they do for a living. They spend judiciously,purchasing items of quality or great usefulness. The financial health of Sagittarius is typically good since they are quite good at socking away a sizeable amount of cash and make careful spending choices.

Capricorn

Grounded earth sign Capricorn is almost always financially well-off. They save smart and spend smart, thinking before they leap. The words "impulse purchase" do not exist in Capricorn's vocabulary. They do, however, have a love of luxury and will not hesitate to drop some dough on a tasteful item of apparel or furniture. Capricorn is a hard worker with a sense of community responsibility and a strong, charitable streak.

Aquarius

Aquarius has the rare quality of being a visionary and an entrepreneur. Don't let their dreamy, poetic side fool you: Aquarius has a way to take their passion and carve out not just a career for themselves, but to create opportunities around them for others, too. This sign can make and stockpile money like Ebenezer Scrooge, but they also happen to be very generous with those around them. Oprah Winfrey exemplifies this generous, entrepreneurial aspect of Aquarius — taking her drive, ambition, and love for sharing with others to form a media empire.

Pisces

When Pisces puts their mind to it, this zodiac sign has the potential to amass a sizeable amount of cash. However, this "go with the flow" sign is prone to impulse shopping. Of all of the zodiac signs, Pisces is the one that may benefit the most from a financial advisor. Given some direction, they can learn to rein in their spending habits and create a small fortune / tidy retirement fund for themselves. TC mark

Don’t Waste Your Time With Someone Who Makes You Question Your Worth

Posted: 26 Dec 2016 03:00 PM PST

Jesse Herzog
Jesse Herzog

I know what it's like to think you've found the right guy. It's like you build someone up in your mind as feelings grow within your heart. You see them and only them and you think that's it. You take every good moment dismissing the bad ones. You judge them for the good you wish they would posses all the time and in return, you give your best hoping your best will be good enough. But what you aren't seeing is you're giving your best to someone who doesn't deserve it.

Then suddenly as you're falling harder and faster; there is the slightest shift within him. Those texts that used to be answered really quick you finding yourself waiting for minutes that seem like hours. The times when you never had to think about what you were going to say, you now find yourself censoring things or overthinking things. You replay scenarios in your mind as he begins to pull away all you’re left with are these questions you don't have the answers to. Because it makes sense to you how you feel but he left you wondering if those feelings can even be reciprocated or if you simply made this all up in your head.

You find yourself tossing and turning at night because you remember a time when things weren't so complicated.

It's like one second you're sure he likes you then the next minute it's an entirely new story you aren't even a part of.

And you give your best friend the play by play hoping you've missed something, hoping that maybe it's just a fluke. But you know they are confused too because the only thing you can make sense of is the fact that none of this makes sense.

But the one thing no one is telling you is if he liked you and was interested in you then there wouldn’t be an ounce of confusion.

Then technology only adds fuel to a confusion fire because he's looking at your snap stories but not opening your snap. He's read your text and started to type only to delete it, and you’re watching as nothing is sent. Because he knows he has you. He liked your last post but ignored your last call. And it's like you're doing this dance to a song you didn't even agree to. And he's calling every move because he can and you're letting him.

But if I can tell you anything about relationships or this game everyone seems to be playing and no one wants to be a part of, it's this: if someone even for a second makes you question your worth, it is them who isn't worthy of you. Even if someone for a moment ignores you then don't give them any more of a heart they don't deserve. If someone allows you to go to bed upset because you haven't heard from them, don't answer in the morning when you finally do. But most of all if someone walks away don't chase them. Don't try and prove you deserve them. Don't try and be good enough. Don't try and make them jealous. Don't play their game. Just quit.

I can bet you don't want to give up. I can bet you think with one more try maybe they'll turn out to be the person you know in your heart they are. And I can't sit here and argue that he's not a good guy. But what I can say is anyone who treats you less than you deserve isn't good for you. And there's no justifying that. There's no trying to tell me about his good moments compared to the bad. Because the right guy will fill your life with only goodness and never doubt.

If anyone makes you question your worth, they aren't sure of you. You don't want to waste your time with someone who isn't 100 percent sure 100 percent of the time that they want to be with you and only you.

He's out there but you won't find him trying to turn someone who isn't worthy of you into that guy. He's a guy that can't be created. He's a guy that will cross your path and you'll simplistically know. And when you find him and when everyone sees you happy getting what you deserve, it'll be in the moment that person you thought was, 'Mr. Right' will realize what he lost. But the real person worthy and deserving of you won't need all that time to realize it. Because the right guy won't play games with you. The right guy will take your hand and you won't look back and you'll know in that moment you've finally won. TC mark

To The Girl Who Deserves Better (From A Man, With Love)

Posted: 26 Dec 2016 02:00 PM PST

@dashapats
@dashapats

Now now, baby girl. Look at you, you're a beautiful mess. Sure the ending wasn't the one you wanted, but we can blame the movies, the fairy tales and the make-believes for getting our hopes up and believing in the ever-so-popular cliche of "happy ever after.”

Keep your head up, princess, you're stronger than that. Let the tears flow, but don't let your tiara fall. This isn't the end of your fabled love story. In fact, it's a new chapter.

In a world where reality will slap your greatest fantasies, perhaps this is a wake-up call. A wake-up call that you're better than what you are now, that you deserve someone better than that frog you kissed that never turned into a prince.

It's time to write a new story, one that you'll be proud you flipped the page on and turned into something legendary. And now is the right time, my dear. You have to believe that you deserve better.

Forget the guy who took you for granted. Forget that sorry ass of a man for not treating you the way you deserve to be treated. It's his loss, and someday he'll realize what he had, but it's a little too late now.

Listen carefully my dear because this is very important. In order to believe you deserve better, you have to make sure that the next man who'll walk into your life deserves you. It's about knowing your self-worth. Who you are, what you can do, and how much you can give.

This is the perfect time to rebuild yourself. Go out there and explore the world. Do what makes your heart flutter. Learn from the past mistakes and gain wisdom during the process so that the next time a man comes to sweep you off your feet, you won't fall. You'll stand up, head-high and proud of who you are and what you have become.

Live your dreams, don't lose sight of what you really want, focus on what really matters, and let time heal the past scars. All I can say is that time almost always heals all wounds. Don't rush it girl, you’ve got this.

It is you and only you who entirely knows what you deserve. And I'm sure once you've realized your self-worth, you won't even bother trying to settle for less like you did before.

He's not worth your tears, the 3 a.m. thoughts, hell he doesn't deserve a place in your palace.

So pick yourself back up again and believe me, the right guy will come along and prove to you why he not only deserves a chapter in your book, he deserves to be the title.

Sincerely,
Someone who believes that you deserve to be happy. TC mark

What You’re Like As A Best Friend (In 5 Words), Based On Your Zodiac Sign

Posted: 26 Dec 2016 01:00 PM PST

unsplash.com
unsplash.com

Aries

(March 21st to April 19th)

You’re always down for anything.

Taurus

(April 20th to May 21st)

The ultimate foul-weather friend.

Gemini

(May 22nd to June 21st)

You get excited about anything.

Cancer

(June 22nd to July 22nd)

You always know what’s wrong.

Leo

(July 23rd to August 22nd)

Endlessly generous; proud of everyone.

Virgo

(August 23rd to September 22nd)

Overthinks everything. Worries about everyone.

Libra

(September 23rd to October 22nd)

Everyone’s favorite to be around.

Scorpio

(October 23rd to November 22nd)

Magnetic, but hard to read.

Sagittarius

(November 23rd to December 21st)

Gives great, uplifting pep talks.

Capricorn

(December 22nd to January 20th)

Always pulls out unexpected jokes.

Aquarius

(January 21st to February 18th)

Incredibly loyal. Gives honest advice.

Pisces

(February 19th to March 20th)

Very purely compassionate and kind. TC mark

This Is How You Compliment A Strong Woman

Posted: 26 Dec 2016 12:00 PM PST

Verne Ho
Verne Ho

Talk about her eyes.

How they show determination. How they can pierce through your most guarded exterior, or soothe you when your mind is conflicted. Talk about their fierceness. Talk about their kindness. Talk about how those eyes are a window to her soul, how they tell her story, how they share so much about who she is with a single look. Talk about the color, the brightness, the power. Talk about how those eyes empower you, fascinate you, and make you want to learn more.

Mention her smile.

Tell her that it is not her looks that make her beautiful, but her smile. The way it brightens even the darkest of rooms, or how it unconsciously makes a grin spread across your own face. Talk about how that smile can change the direction of a conversation, can make an angry heart lose its bitterness, can make something broken feel whole again. Tell her how that smile drew you in; tell her how it was that smile, most of all, that showed her strength.

Tell her you love the way she carries herself.

See, for a strong woman it is never about beauty. It is never about her exterior, her physical self, or her looks. It is about the way she stands, about the way she presents herself, about how she walks and speaks and interacts with others around her. Tell her you love the way she stands tall. Tell her you love how she walks with her shoulders back and her head high. Tell her you love that she is self-assured and confident, never cocky, but always classy and poised. Tell her you love the woman she is, because she is proud of her.

Admire her sass.

She is level-headed and opinionated. She is vocal and perseverant. She speaks with boldness, and she is sometimes sassy. Admire this. Tell her you love the way she doesn't back down when she knows she's right. Tell her that you love the little crease in her forehead she gets when she's fighting fiercely for someone/something she loves. Tell her you admire her resilience, the way she doesn't let herself get walked over, and how she speaks up for what she believes. Tell her that you love her sass because it makes her, her.

Tell her that she is strong.

Mentally. Physically. She is empowered by her ability to be her own person and to be able to take care of herself, and you recognizing that is important. Tell her that you admire how she has gotten through tough times in her life and still managed to keep her head high. Tell her that you love her physical strength, how she pushes herself and sets her own goals. Tell her that you admire all that she is and stands for. Let her know that her strength in no way intimidates, or outshines yours. Let her know that you can be strong together.

Appreciate her independence.

She has built a life based on her own sense of self. She can do things on her own. She can manage herself well. She doesn't need someone to take care of her, but of course she might want that, at least a little. Recognize this. Recognize her passion for being her own person. Recognize that she loves to be on her own, to do her own thing, and to sometimes be selfish with her time and attention. Tell her that you love this about her. Tell her that you admire her ability to be independent. And remind her that you want to take care of her, too.

Admire her mind.

Her best characteristic is her strong mind. She is guided by both her heart and head, but it is the way she thinks that is the most powerful thing about her. She thinks more deeply than most—tell her you love this. Tell her you love unfolding all the layers spinning around in her head. Tell her that she's not wrong for overthinking. Tell her you love the way her mind works; that you find her brain the most attractive thing about her.

Tell her you love her passion.

Her passion is beautiful. She is wildly passionate about the things and people she loves. She is emotional and in tune with those emotions. She has no fears about being herself, expressing herself, or giving love. Show her that you love this about her. Show her that you see her passion, and you are willing to give that same passion in return. Show her that you admire her big heart and strong mind. Love her in spite of the fact that she may be too much at times. Love her because she might be too much sometimes. Love her because she is a deep-thinking, emotional, good-hearted, strong woman. And show her that she should never be ashamed of that. TC mark