Thought Catalog


In Case You’re Curious, Here’s How To ACTUALLY Have A Successful Friends-With-Benefits Relationship

Posted: 29 Dec 2016 08:00 PM PST

Matt Popovich
Matt Popovich

1.

Do: Ask yourself if you’re game in this kind of game. If not, it’s okay. This kind of set-up is not for everyone, especially to hopeless romantics.

Don’t: Jump in the relationship if you’re in doubt. Many people jump in this FWB thing without any preparations whether they can handle this kind of messy, fucked-up relationship-but-not-really-a-relationship relationship. You know what I mean?! Some people think that after several hook-ups they can change their partner’s mind and you two will be like Justin Timberlake and Milla Kunis at the end of the day.

2.

Do: Pick a guy/gal who’s not your type. This will save your ass in the future. Dating someone your type will inevitably result in *cough* falling in love. Just pick a hottie and that’s enough. Oh! and Be SAFE!

Don’t: Feel like you need to know everything about them. Just their latest HIV test result and their criminal records are enough. Knowing their birth date and their favorite childhood memories will only feed your fantasy and will only destroy you in the future. Trust me.

3.

Do: Lay your ground rules on the table. Talk it out. This way you can have a clear view of what is going to happen between the two of you. Most FWB has it’s expiration date, like a pizza which you can only eat for a few days before the maggots starts crawling in. You don’t wan’t that maggots crawling in your heart, do you?!

Don’t: EXPECT. Friends-with-benefits are the kind of relationship where you don’t want to expect anything. Don’t expect for a thank you after a hook-up, or expect them to offer you to spend the night with them, or a ‘good morning! Did you have your breakfast already?’ kind of text. No cuddling! No netflix and chill! No ice cream and pizza together! The only expectation you can have towards your ‘friend’ is an orgasm. Nothing more.

4.

Do: Meet other people. Not necessarily sleep with them but still continue on your pursuit for a real relationship if you want. If you don’t want relationship, you should still hang out with your friends, go to bar with them, have a real friendly sleep-over with your friends and do things you do when you’re single (which you still are). Nothing should ever change!

Don’t: Fantasize. Fantasizing only leads to a delusional romantic scenario that will probably never going to happen. It will only  clog your judgement and make you more romantically attached with your partner. It will make goodbyes hard.

5.

Do: Understand that this relationship only satisfies your sexual need as no other people can (or at least in the moment). Therefore; they have no utter obligations on making you feel special on your birthday or comfort you on your down moments as they are not your romantic partner or even a real friend. They are not obliged to treat you out, share an ice-cream with you when you’re sad or go to movies when you’re uncomfortable on going on your own. They’re not obliged to fix you nor they are the missing puzzle in your life.

Don’t:  Make things complicated. The set-up itself is pretty clear.

6.

Do: Prep yourself. Just because it’s a friends-with-benefits kind of thing, means you’re excused on not preparing yourself up. Do yourself a favor and your partner. Be as presentable as you can but not too much. You don’t want them to stick up for too long…. or maybe you do?

Don’t: Prepare too much. Don’t over decorate your room, filled with scented candles and fresh washed curtains. Don’t stock too much food on the fridge. The least thing you want after a bang is them to rummage on your fridge and eat your favorite jar of nutella and spend the whole morning till afternoon with them. It’s a lover kind of thing. Ain’t nobody have time for that!

7.

Do: Be open on what’s going on between the two of you. If you feel like you’re having these unsure feeling of *god forbid* ‘falling in love’, open it, share it with them. Maybe you can both agree on ending it or maybe you can discuss on how you can put a stop to it.

Don’t: Drunk text them! It’s the worst idea EVER! Don’t give flirty comments on their facebook, or tweet them or post an instagram pictures together! You two should remain as incognito to other people as much as possible. You don’t want other people to meddle with it and make things worse. Also, Stop giving sexual innuendos such as; ‘Hey, You want to come over, I just ordered this hot chinese food, want to come and eat with me? or I’m just going to do it alone. *wink emoticon*’ come on! really?!!

8.

Do: Respect their decisions. If they don’t want to text you for two weeks, Okay. If they ghosted you, Okay. If they don’t want to hook-up with you anymore, Okay! there’s nothing to be taken seriously in this kind of set-up. You signed up for this, deal with it!

Don’t: Make them feel guilty. Just because it doesn’t last (which it really doesn’t) you’re going to have an ill-will towards them or say words that will make them feel guilty or make them feel they betrayed you.

9.

Do: Remind yourself all the ground rules you both agreed. When things become out of hand, always check the guide-book. When you accidentally bumped into each other in the mall and decided to watch a romantic movie together, go home and contemplate. This will save you from your fantasy. A relationship like this should remain platonic as possible.

Don’t: Be afraid to say goodbye. You should have known from the start that these kind of things doesn’t last. When feelings are inevitably crawling in, talk it out or end it. Why? because there’s a 99.9% chance that they don’t feel the same way… or risk the .1% expecting that they also feel the same way and feel your world crushing in your head.

10.

Do: Be thankful for the experience. Applaud yourself for an experience that not all people can ever have or the guts to do.  It was an eye-opening experience and now, you know better.

Don’t: Do it AGAIN! Now you know better. Never do it again. You now know that it’s a complete waste of emotional and physical energy and time. Is it worth it? The orgasm, heck yes! everything else? maybe, maybe not. The only thing you should think of right now is how you actually going to move on with your life and actually LIVE life. Your mama didn’t raise a sexual deviant who lives only for hook-ups or sex! Work and be successful! Ain’t nobody got time for a lame distraction. TC mark

This Is What Depression Feels Like And This Is How You Beat It

Posted: 29 Dec 2016 07:00 PM PST

 Jenny Bunny
Jenny Bunny

If I had to describe to people what living with depression is like I would say is its kind of like watching a movie reel of someone's else's life. And you're waiting for something good to happen. You’re always waiting. Always watching. Always wanting something you don’t have. It’s that happiness that seems to come so easy to other people.

It's struggling to go to sleep at night because your mind takes you to all these dark places and never shuts off. It's like no matter how tired your body is physically, mentally, you don't stop. It's finally getting to sleep at 3 am and it physically hurting opening your eyes at 6 am.

It's waking up and you lay there for a moment because for a few seconds you're kind of mad you had to wake up. It's like you'd rather be in a dream state then have to face the realities of what awaits you for the day.

You muster the strength to get up and put yourself together, the best you can. And no matter how good you look that day, in your heart you know you're kind of lying to the world about how you feel. Because if you dressed the way you actually felt people would know.

Depression is about the art of deception.

It's smiling when you feel like crying. It's cracking a joke and brining joy to others, even though you can't bring it to yourself. It's being positive and upbeat on the outside because you know what it's like to be in darkness. It's being kinder to everyone than normal because you know they too could be putting up a front. It's knowing defeat and watching the world knock you time and time again but never staying down. It kind of feels like there is the dark cloud over you and everyone is out to get you. It's knowing struggles you don't speak of but silently fight every day. It's knowing loss. The loss of yourself as you're trying to figure out who you are while struggling to accept the parts of yourself you don't like and can't seem to change. It's wanting just to be normal but you don't even know what that is.

It's appreciating the little things… A kind word from someone or a smile. It's clinging to the good days because those are few and far between. It's looking forward to something on your calendar even if it's something that's not that big of a deal. Seeing it written there gives you something to work towards and get to. Because if you fight through three really bad days maybe that fourth day won't be as bad.

It's understanding people and being overly observant. It's looking at someone smile and knowing they are having a rough day. It's being the light for them that some people have been for you. It's having compassion and sensitivity at a level that seems not normal to most.

Depression is getting handed really shitty cards and learning to play the best f*cking game you can.

But it's also that feeling like you are always losing. Like everyone is happier and winning and one step ahead and all you're trying to do is keep up.

Depression is standing in a crowded room and you just want to be as happy as everyone appears to be.

Temporary highs with drugs, alcohol and medication are only that. It makes the pain subside but it never makes it go away for good.

Depression is going through a newsfeed and comparing yourself to everyone's highlights and your good moments just aren't enough.

Depression makes you feel inadequate. It makes you feel weak. It makes you feel like part of you is missing and you're trying so hard to find anything to fill that void. You try anything to not feel so empty.

Depression does not discriminate. It does not tell you when it'll sneak up. It can stay hidden within shadows but in your heart you know it's there, lurking waiting to ruin your next best moment. Waiting to ruin another night of sleep. Waiting for you to break down in tears at 2 AM because you're never felt so lonely. And you look at reflection with bloodshot eyes you don't even recognize.

Depression tries to turn you into someone you aren't while convincing you this is your fault. And while depression tries to take you deeper you fight it. You try and go back to sleep and wait for the morning. Wait for that alarm that tells you, 'we have another day to fight' but it's a battle even on your worst days you won't give up.

Depression hurts. It's a pain that most can't see. It's a struggle many who suffer can't quite understand why they are.

So how do we beat it?

Through love and people and through connections. Depression is wanting to be alone but you know it's in that moment we need people most. It's looking for those certain people we come across that spark a little life into our dull and sad eyes. It's finding those that understand without words the battles we face daily. And without saying it, it's a hug, a nod, a smile that says 'me too.'

Depression can be beaten. It’s just one of those battles you have to fight every day. TC mark

16 Signs His Mental Attraction To You Is As Strong As His Physical Attraction

Posted: 29 Dec 2016 06:00 PM PST

Thought.is
Thought.is

1When he compliments you, he mentions more than your eyes and your butt. He mentions your kindness. Your intelligence. Your laugh.

2. If you spend the entire day together, and don’t end up having sex, he won’t complain. He’s just happy to spend time with you.

3. Once in a while, you have fun sexting, but normally, you have unsexy conversations about work and television and alien invasions. You two could talk for hours without growing bored.

4. He loves when you send him pictures — and not just nudes. He’d be happy with a selfie where you’re donning acne cream and are flaunting your double chin. He just likes to look at you.

5. His favorite dates are the ones where you have the chance to interact — not when you’re sitting in silence and cuddling, like at the movie theater.

6. He thinks you look the most beautiful when you’re talking about you career, your hobbies, or whatever else you’re passionate about.

7. There have been times when you were both naked in bed, but continued your conversation about the environment or the economy, because you enjoy talking as much as you enjoy touching.

8. He plants a kiss on you whenever you tell a hilarious joke or use an extra long word.

9. He enjoys playing mentally stimulating games with you, like Scrabble and Scattergories. Or just lounging on the couch and watching Jeopardy.

10. When he gives you gifts, they aren’t superficial pieces of jewelry that he could have bought for anyone. They’re personalized presents that reference a movie you watched or a conversation you had.

11. When he talks to his friends about you, he does more than show them pictures and brag about your sex life. He also brags about your job and what a success you are.

12. He actually listens when you speak. And if you’re being quiet, he’ll encourage you to talk more by asking detailed questions about your life and your opinions.

13. He gets the horniest when you’re the happiest — when you’re playing with your dog or reading a book or laughing with your friends.

14. He doesn’t care if you’re makeup free and dotted with pimples. He’s still going to initiate sex with you.

15. He gets excited when he introduces you to new people, because he knows they’re going to love you. That you’re just as sweet as you are pretty.

16. When he lists out the reasons he loves you, your beauty is just an added bonus. All of his other favorite things about you are pieces of your personality. TC mark

Strong Girl, You Don’t Need Him

Posted: 29 Dec 2016 05:00 PM PST

Jean Gerber
Jean Gerber

You don't need him.

I've learned the hard way that you can love someone and be blindsided by your strong attraction to them and eventually mistook it for love. I was beginning to latch onto an idea of someone up to a point where it became unhealthy. I would always think of that person and think of how he's doing every day. That's normal up until all I do all day is think more of how can I be attractive in his sight that I began to lose my own identity.

I know how it feels. I know how it goes. I know how you'd overthink and overanalyze scenarios in your head before they can happen even before they do (but most of the time they don't).

I know how much you want to learn to speak their language, how to cook their favorite food and even try to eat it even if it upsets your stomach or how you eagerly want to watch their favorite movies just so you can relate whenever he talks about it. I know how you would lose sleep or wake up in the middle of the night to check if they're online so you can talk to them. And I know how you make those little efforts of making them little gifts, or buying them souvenirs from your recent trips, or even surprise them just to make them smile.

Doing these things can present new experiences and growth if handled carefully but if you're obsessing over that person, this can be damaging. Especially if you feel that you're the only one trying.

Loving someone doesn't have to come with the expense of losing yourself. But let's admit that we're only humans and sometimes, when we love someone, it's all or nothing. We want to make them feel appreciated and loved, but what if you don't get that in return? What happens when you realize you don't mean as much to them as they did to you? It hurts, doesn't it? But there is no one to b lame because people love differently. They may love you, but not just the way you want them to.

So to all the girls who loves someone or who has loved someone and lost themselves in the process, you can find your way back again. Remember: YOU DON'T NEED HIM.

You don't need him to feel beautiful.
You don't need him for self-validation.
You don't need him in order to grow.
You don't need him to know that you are worthy.
You don't need him to know that when you love, you love too much and there's nothing wrong with that.
You don't need him to like you or love you more.

All you need is yourself, and sometimes that's more than enough. Love someone but at the end of the day, love yourself more because when all else fails, you still have yourself. The world may come crashing down and it will put you down on your knees but only you will have the strength to get back up and begin again.

Don't blame love, it's a beautiful thing. It's just that sometimes life happens and things doesn't turn out the way we want them to. But hey, that's okay too. And should you ever feel that no one will ever love you in the future, don't go there. There is someone out there who will be strong enough to brave our storm and will stand by your side while you fight your demons.

Strong girl, you don't need him. You may want him but you don't need him.TC mark

Losing You Didn’t Kill Me

Posted: 29 Dec 2016 04:00 PM PST

Timothy Paul Smith
Timothy Paul Smith

I was dumped via a text message, right after my girlfriend had spent two days in my home where she slept in my arms. Apparently we're too different – the same reason she told me she liked me in the first place. It was such a humiliating experience. But I have already forgiven her for that.

I agreed to the breakup immediately. I was in shock; I wasn't thinking straight.

What followed was hell. I cried. And cried some more. I couldn't get her off my mind. I kept thinking back to our time together. What could I have done better? Was my love not enough? Did I love her enough? What did I do wrong? Is she serious about this breakup?

Two days later I wrote down all I needed to ask her, and all I needed her to know about me. The things I thought were the reasons behind the "we're too different" line. I felt better after I sent it. The clutter in my mind was cleared, and that allowed me to finish off an overdue report for work. I felt great. I told myself that whatever her response was, I would be okay to accept it.

I prepared myself for her response. I read articles online about people's breakup experiences. I listened to Etana's "I rise", such an empowering song. I prayed. I said "God, whatever her response is, please help me to accept it".

She replied about 12 hours later. The tone of her message was full of hate, anger, contempt. In her mind the relationship had finished. Apparently for her, the relationship finished a very long time ago.

I was angry, I was hurt. Was it all a lie? Was I imagining her role in the relationship the past three months? All those "I love you's", all those kisses… Why? How do you look a person in the face and tell them you love them knowing deep down you don't? How do you return someone's kiss with such passion, knowing very well it meant nothing to you? How do you let someone hold you so close, knowing very well you will leave them for good the next day?

I don't get it. All I know is, it's painful. It hurts so so much. Why? How could you? Am I such a terrible person? Did I deserve this?

I re-read her message one more time. Yep, it really is over. She wanted nothing to do with me. I sent her an acknowledgement reply. I told her I appreciated her response, and I will now leave her life. I purposefully didn't tell her I was letting her go. No. My mind was, but my heart wasn't ready.

I could've begged her to reconsider. I could've sent her angry messages. I could've told her mean things to hurt her. But I didn't. I just sat there and stared into space.

I took one last look at her Facebook profile. I went through our pictures. I went through her posts about me. I looked at her face. Her beautiful face. I wanted to feel it one last time, the softness of her skin. I wanted to hug her, kiss her, hold her and never let go. But I couldn't. It's over. "She doesn't want you back", I reminded myself, "she's made her decision, respect it".

With tears streaming down my face, I clicked the 'Blocked' button. It's over. There's no hope. I accepted it. And then I cried. I kept crying. I didn't know what to do. I just sat there and cried. Then I remembered God: "Lord, please help get through this. I can't do this without you".

Suddenly, in the midst of all those tears and the pain – I found respite. I was hurt, but it felt beautiful. I felt proud of myself for crying, for sitting there and allowing the emotion to take over me. I didn't want a quick fix, I didn't want an escape. I just wanted to sit there and feel the hurt. I didn't want to rush it. I just wanted it to take it's course.

You see, I've been here twice before. The first time I literally felt an emptiness in my stomach. I remembered how much I wanted to scream, but couldn't. I wanted air; I was suffocating. My whole world was dark. I hated it. I wanted it to end. I wanted a quick fix. Eventually I gave up and moved countries.

The second time I was here, I felt the same dark cloud surrounding me and the pain in my chest. I cried a lot, most probably after every 5 minutes. I looked for him in all the people around me. I missed him terribly. I missed his love, his affection. I missed the way he looked at me, the way he held me, the way he kissed me, the way he made love to me. I missed his skin next to mine, his breath, his taste. I missed his text messages. I missed how he would have a smiley face for each emotion he wrote. I missed how he would double text me if I didn't reply.

But I missed our conversations the most. We talked about our dreams, the things we would do, the places we would visit, and our beautiful kids that would have 'my smile' and 'his beautiful eyes'. The eyes I loved the first time I looked into them. The eyes that drew me in and showed me a glimpse of his soul, that I eventually loved. I miss him, even til this day I still think about him. But we can't be together, it wasn't right. They were right, sometimes two people can be so right for each other but time won't allow them to be together.

I left him and moved countries. I couldn't bear the thought of living in the same country as him and not being able to have him. I still remember the day we said goodbye. We cried, we kissed, we hugged, we let go.

He will always be in my heart, and I'll always be in his. We will look for each other in the next life, and we will fall in love again, only this time – we won't have to let go.

My current breakup… tears, lot's of tears. Some dark moments, but they faded away quickly. There was no physical pain. There was no emptiness, no suffocation. Just beautiful tears and a sense of relief. It hurt, but it was a beautiful kind of hurt.

I was proud of myself. I was proud of the way I loved her when we were together. I was proud of the way I supported her when she needed it the most. I was proud of the way I opened myself up to her, despite knowing she may not feel the same way in return. Now I know she didn't, but that's okay. I was proud of the way I handled our conflicts, I never once put her down with hurtful words. I was proud of the many times I fought for our relationship, trying to make it work. She was worth it. I am proud of myself for the way I handled our breakup. I was angry, I was hurt, but again, I never put her down. As soon as she said it was final, there is no future, I told her I will let her leave. I am proud of myself for all of these things because it shows character, respect, and dignity. I did the best I could, but sometimes it just isn't enough.

I dried up my tears, smiled at myself, and welcomed the rest of the day and all the days ahead. I changed the sheets and the pillow cases that had her smell from the previous 5 days when she slept in my arms. I opened all the windows to let her smell out. I cleaned the house to remove any remaining traces of her.

Afterwards I walked out of the house and into the bright sunny November afternoon. I welcomed the new air. I welcomed the beginning of a new chapter in my life. I was ready to channel all this pain into my work.

My dearest third love, thank you for allowing me to love again. Thank you for the heartbreak. Thank you for giving me the inspiration to do my work to the best of my abilities. My heart is now ready to let you go. I want to free up the space for someone deserving of it. I wish you well, my love.

Love has no guarantees. Adele was right, 'sometimes it lasts in love, and sometimes it don't'. I will always be proud of myself for being vulnerable. To quote Brenee Brown:

"Vulnerability is the birthplace of love, belonging, joy, courage, empathy, and creativity. It is the source of hope, empathy, accountability, and authenticity. If we want greater clarity in our purpose or deeper and more meaningful spiritual lives, vulnerability is the path."

To feel is to be human. I want to feel love again. I am ready.TC mark

Here’s The One Thing You Should Change In 2017, Based On Your Zodiac Sign

Posted: 29 Dec 2016 03:00 PM PST

Happy New Year! Friends look strange together
Thought.is

Aries

(March 21st to April 19th)

Stop being so impulsive and learn to think your decisions through thoroughly. You will feel less regret that way.

Taurus

(April 20th to May 21st)

Work on finding you balance through yoga, meditation and relaxing. You’re allowed to put yourself first and you should.

Gemini

(May 22nd to June 21st)

Spend more time with your true friends and less time trying to get in with the ‘cool’ people.

Cancer

(June 22nd to July 22nd)

This year don’t allow your feelings to take control over your life. Do what you want and don’t let others opinions cloud your decision making.

Leo

(July 23rd to August 22nd)

Read more books this year, especially books that will challenge you to push yourself in different ways.

Virgo

(August 23rd to September 22nd)

This year change the motto to “work smarter, not harder” and find a good balance in your life to keep you from slaving away at your desk. The work will still be there without you and the company won’t collapse if you only work 8 hours a day.

Libra

(September 23rd to October 22nd)

Spend more time doing things that make you happy and less time doing things out of obligation. It’s okay to say no if you really don’t want to do something.

Scorpio

(October 23rd to November 22nd)

Sign up for a class that will keep you expanding your knowledge. Whether it is a writing course, a foreign language or a cooking class, try to do something that keeps things exciting and your brain engaged.

Sagittarius

(November 23rd to December 21st)

This year is the year to let down your walls you guard your heart with, letting people in doesn’t have to lead to heartbreak, and it will help you become one step closer to finding love. And if you’re already in a relationship work on deepening your relationship by forming a better relationship with yourself and practice better communication.

Capricorn

(December 22nd to January 20th)

Make this the year of fun and the year of “yes”! Lighten up on yourself and do something daring – book a plane ticket, go out on dates with strangers and have fun with the people in your life. Make the most of it, you’re only this young once.

Aquarius

(January 21st to February 18th)

Work on being alone and getting to know yourself better, you don’t have to be with other people all the time. Be alone, eat alone, sleep alone, grow alone, it will only make you stronger.

Pisces

(February 19th to March 20th)

Use your creativity to launch yourself further in your professional field and in your life. Start doing more things that inspire you and less things because someone asks you to. Turn your passion into a paycheck and live the life you always dream up in your head. It might be a long journey, but it will be worth it. TC mark

You Were The Best-Worst Thing That Ever Happened To Me

Posted: 29 Dec 2016 02:00 PM PST

 Apricot Berlin
Apricot Berlin

When I met you I had this dumbfound belief that love could overcome anything. I thought if you love someone hard enough and work at it just maybe they will love you back. Just maybe it'll all work out for the better. I thought giving the best of myself would result in it reciprocated. I thought I could love you into liking me and maybe we'd be together. I thought that would be enough.

There was no doubt I fell in love with you in the moments you were good to me. I fell in love with the person I knew you would be one day and I thought if I loved you hard enough you'd become him fully. But the result of giving the best of myself to someone who didn't deserve it, not only hurt me but it tainted what I defined as love.

I couldn't dismiss the fact there was another side to you. The you that ignored every call only to return it at 3 am. The you that made sure your read recipe was on, just so you knew it would get to me. The you that would know exactly what to say and when to say it, just to ruin a night out that hadn't even started yet. The you that kept me walking on eggshells. The you that kept me close but not close enough to be yours. The you that always ended things but how can something end if we weren't even together? The you snuck around like I was some best-kept secret. The you that needed to control me because there were factors in your life you couldn't.

I became this punching bag of yours when all I did was try to love you.

Screaming and fighting and tears and you putting me down inflated your ego. You thought how far can I push her? What can I get away with? When will she crack? And it might have seemed like I was weak tolerating such mistreatment but it was really strength. Strength because I still saw good in you. Strength because I still believed in you. Strength because in the moments you tested me I never once raised my voice. I never once cursed. I never gave you a taste of your own medicine. Instead, I held onto the belief that if I just keep trying and loving unconditionally that maybe it would be enough.

Because despite how much pain you put me through, I never stopped believing love could save you. I never stopped trying to be enough.

What I didn't realize was I was enough for someone but that someone wasn't you. What I realized was no matter how badly I wanted you and loved you and tolerated your shortcomings, the cost was complete self-destruction in the process. You took pieces of me to make you whole and it left me empty.

You were the best worst thing that ever happened to me.

You taught me how far I'd be willing to go for someone. But more than that you taught me what I'll never do for someone again. You taught me exactly what I didn't deserve and what I'll never tolerate again. You showed me that as much as we fall in love with someone, it's isn't some magical thing we've come to believe watching movies and T.V shows. Love is a choice but you can't be the only one making it. You taught me to only ever go half way for someone. But more than that you taught me to love myself. You taught me to put myself first.

For all those things, I thank you. And it seems a little odd to be grateful for what seemed like a whirlwind relationship, gone so wrong with a little bit of right but I walk away with confidence and strength that I gave my best. I walk away knowing not everyone deserves that. I walk away loving even harder, believing in it even deeper and knowing the love I gave to you, will one day be mine. TC mark

He’s Never Going To Be Your Boyfriend If These 11 Things Keep Happening

Posted: 29 Dec 2016 01:00 PM PST

Brandon Woelfel
Brandon Woelfel

1. You feel confused. You have no idea where he stands. Does he want to date you? Does he want to sleep with you? Does he want to stay friends? You don’t know if you’ll ever get a straight answer out of him.

2. You replay all of your interactions with him in your head. It’s not for fun. It’s research. You’re trying to decipher everything he’s said and done. Trying to figure out if there’s some hidden message you missed.

3. You play games. You hate playing hard to get and all of those other ridiculous games. But with him, it feels like you have no other choice. You have to hold yourself back from texting him. You have to act casual. Otherwise, he’ll lose interest.

4. You overanalyze everything. When he texts you, you have to read the message three times before you can figure out what to say, because you don’t want to take his words the wrong way. He’s hard to read. You can never tell what he’s thinking.

5. You get irrationally jealous. You go through his social media and freak out when you see him posing with some other girl. Who is she? You can’t just ask him, because that’s not how your relationship works. So you just come up with worst case scenarios in your head instead.

6. You ask friends for help. You talk about him to anyone that will listen, because you can’t figure out what the hell he wants and are hoping someone else will be able to help you figure it out.

7. You feel guilty. Whenever you call him out on his BS, he gives you a sob story that makes you feel like a horrible person. He might by lying through his teeth, but you don’t consider that possibility, because you don’t want to. You want to believe that he had a good excuse for his behavior.

8. You’re left missing him. When he’s actual around, he makes you feel like the luckiest woman alive. But when he leaves, he’s gone for weeks without explanation. He spoils you. Leaves. Spoils you. Leaves. The cycle keeps repeating.

9. You wait for him to speak first. You hate initiating conversations with him, because you never know which side of him you’re going to get. Will he be flirty? Or will he be standoffish? You let him set the mood.

10. You cry over him. More than you’d ever admit. He’s just so damn frustrating.

11. You actively try to get over him. If you’re trying to move on, then there’s a part of you that knows how dangerous he is. That nothing is ever going to happen between you. That it’s pointless to keep hoping for him to change. TC mark

10 Hilarious Text Convos That’ll Make You Laugh Your Ass Off

Posted: 29 Dec 2016 12:00 PM PST

Pixabay / JESHOOTS
Pixabay / JESHOOTS

1. Are you sure that’s what you mean?

2. But is it really?

3. It distracted me from sex

4. What is freedom?

5. I wonder why she stopped replying…

6. Mom…

7. This one is kinda weird

8. No no no no

9. What?

10. A revelation nobody wanted to know

A Woman Was Killed And Put In A Tub Of Acid After Refusing To Have Sex With Her Tinder Date

Posted: 29 Dec 2016 11:15 AM PST

Facebook / Miriam Ramirez
Facebook / Miriam Ramirez

26-year-old Francia Ruth Ibarra was reported missing on December 3rd from her Leon apartment. Her remains were later found at the home of Emmanuel Delani Valdez Bocangegra, a man she was dating after meeting him on Tinder. The discovery of her body has been confirmed by local Attorney General, Carlos Zamarripa Aguirre.

Bocangegra and Ibarra had met up several times over the months after “matching” on Tinder in late fall, but Ibarra was apparently very quiet about the fling. Indeed, many of her close friends only found out about the relationship between the two from social media after her disappearance.

Her friends actually were the first to sound the alarm about after Ibarra didn’t show up to a movie as planned. It was then that they dug into her social media accounts and discovered her connection with Bocangegra. About a week later, on December 10th, police got a search warrant to look through his home. It was then that it became obvious that Ibarra would not be coming back from her last date:

Clothes and a bag similar to the one Ruth wore on the day of her disappearance were found in the apartment.

On the roof were several black plastic bags containing human bones. There were also bags with caustic soda and muriatic acid where the girl’s body was dissolved. (Source)

Apparently a confrontation broke out between the two after Bocangegra proposed that they have sex. Ibarra refused, and that’s when Bocangegra killed her. He then tried to hide the evidence of his crimes by dissolving her body in a bag of acid — which apparently belonged to his father, who was a chemical engineer.

Bocangegra was arrested in Mexico City where, when confronted with the charges, is said to have been “indifferent” about the crime.

Be careful on dating apps, friends. TC mark