Thought Catalog


16 Ways To Give Her An Explosive Orgasm While You’re Inside Of Her

Posted: 08 Dec 2016 08:00 PM PST

Thought.is
Thought.is

1. Instead of straddling her without warning, try cuddling with her first. If you’re the big spoon, then it’ll be easy for you to play with her hair, reach a hand under her shirt to massage her breasts, and kiss the back of her neck. Get her relaxed.

2. After a few minutes, turn her head to face you and then kiss her. On the lips. Softly at first, and then add tongue. If she’s into it, then it’s your sign to initiate sex. Otherwise, back off, so she doesn’t have to come up with an excuse about having a headache.

3. Take her clothes off bit by bit, so you have time to focus on each aspect of her body. When her shirt comes off, kiss her shoulders and compliment her belly. When her bra comes off, cup her breasts or suck on them. Take your time, because women take a while to get turned on.

4. Once her pants are off, reach down to rub her clit. Don’t move your fingers too hard and fast at first (and don’t insert any fingers into her vagina yet), because if she’s not turned on enough, the roughness could hurt. Feel her to see if she’s wet enough before you go crazy.

5. If she’s not wet enough for sex yet, or if you want to give her a special treat, go down on her. You don’t have to make her orgasm. Just make her horny enough for penetration.

6. When you’re finished eating her out, straddle her. Then rub your dick back and forth against her clit.

7. Slowly enter her. Don’t ram yourself in.

8. Kiss her while you’re inside her — and not just on her lips. Kiss her chest. Her neck. Her goddamn forehead. Make her feel beautiful.

9. Compliment her. You get to decide whether it’s best to dirty talk about how fucking tight her pussy feels or if she’d prefer to hear a heartfelt compliment about how her lips are soft and taste delicious.

10. Get her into a position that she likes. You might want to try spooning again, so you can reach around and rub her clit while you thrust.

11. That being said, don’t forget to rub her clit. It’s not just a foreplay move. It should be done during sex. It’ll automatically increase her chances of having an orgasm.

12. Pay attention to her moans. To how deeply her nails are digging into your back. To how much she’s squirming. She might not come out and say if she likes a certain position, but her sounds and movements will let you know.

13. Moan. She’s probably more worried about whether you’re enjoying yourself than if she’s enjoying herself. So make it clear that you’re having the time of your fucking life.

14. Touch her everywhere. Grab her hair. Hold her waist. Spank her ass. Run your hands over her back. Toss her legs over your shoulders. Do it all.

15. If she doesn’t look like she’s going to orgasm anytime soon, take out the toys. Blindfold her. Attach a collar to her. Put nipple clamps on her. Figure something out, because every woman secretly has a kinky side.

16. Look her in the eyes whenever you get the opportunity. And, if you genuinly love her, say those three little words during sex. It’ll make her feel all fluttery inside. TC mark

25 Intimate Questions To Ask Yourself If You’re Debating Whether To Stay Or Let Them Go

Posted: 08 Dec 2016 07:00 PM PST

Thought.is
Thought.is

1. Does my partner make me want to be a better person?

2. Am I scared to live without them or am I more scared to be alone?

3. Am I only staying with them because we have too many ties?

4. Am I actually in love with this person or do I just love them?

5. Do I like them, not only love them?

6. Do they want to be with me whole-heartedly, or are they only half invested?

7. Does being around them drain me or recharge me?

8. Am I making out our relationship to be better than the reality of it is in my head?

9. Would my life improve and would I achieve more if I were to walk away?

10. Are they holding me back from achieving the life I really want or am I holding them back from living out their dreams?

11. Are we growing together or growing apart?

12. Are they my biggest support system and number one fan? Or do I struggle to get them to engage in my life? Do I enjoy supporting them in their life?

13. Do I have to sacrifice more than I should for this relationship with little to nothing in return?

14. Do they make me feel good about myself?

15. Do I actually love them or do I love the person I want them to be and the person I've idealized them to be in my head?

16. Do they make me feel safe and secure?

17. Do they make the ordinary seem extraordinary and even more special for being by my side?

18. Can I look in the mirror and honestly say I'm happy with them and the life we've been living?

19. Do they make me laugh and cheer me up when I'm down? Or just push me down further?

20. Do I feel excited to return home to them after work? And excited to start the day with them by my side?

21. Is my partner my best friend?

22. Do I feel they accept me for who I am? Or can I sense they're always trying to change me to be someone I'm not?

23. Does the future excite me? Am I picturing them in my future with me or not?

24. Have I been able to truly love and accept my partner for their flaws and bad habits or do they still make me want to rip my hair out?

25. Do I love myself enough to walk away if that's what I need to do for myself? TC mark

17 Totally Shallow Ways To Look (And Feel) Sexier

Posted: 08 Dec 2016 06:00 PM PST

Natalie Allen
Natalie Allen

1. Search for beauty gurus on YouTube to learn how to apply your makeup the correct way. Hint: Dab some powder onto your lips after applying your color to make any lipstick look matte.

2. Buy a push-up bra to create the illusion you’re a cup size bigger. Or shell out some extra cash at Victoria’s Secret for a bombshell bra, so you look two cup sizes bigger.

3. Accessorize. Wear a long necklace that draws attention to your cleavage and wear belts to make your waist look smaller.

4. Buy fishnets. You don’t have to wear them with a mini-skirt or a dress that climbs up your thighs. You can place them underneath your shorts if you want. They’ll still look stylish.

5. Get a tattoo on your hip or a piercing in your belly button, so you feel like you have a sexy little secret. Just make sure it’s something you really want.

6. Wear high waisted jeans and shorts and skirts. If your ass normally looks flat, high waisted items will change that. If your ass normally looks fantastic, high waisted items will make it look even better.

7. Learn how to walk in heels. High ones. Sexy ones.

8. Part your hair a different way than usual. It’s a super small change that’ll take you two seconds to do, but it can make you look entirely different.

9. Get your nails done. Sure, you could paint them on your own, but the professionals will add a design too complicated for you to pull off at home. And don’t forget that massage.

10. Find a perfume that smells sexy. It doesn’t have to be expensive. If you want to save cash, buy body spray, instead.

11. Buy something made of leather. A leather skirt, leather pants, or just a leather jacket. It’ll make you feel badass.

12. Get a wax done by a professional. You’ll be happy that you don’t have to worry about shaving for a few weeks. 

13. Wear matching underwear. Nothing can make a woman feel more powerful than wearing black on black.

14. Exercise. Decide if you want abs, a tighter ass, or more muscular arms, and then work your hardest to get them. There are plenty of fitness channels on YouTube, so you don’t even have to join a gym.

15. Figure out how to fill in your eyebrows or just leave them alone. Natural brows look much better than super heavy, intimidating brows.

16. If you wear glasses, make sure you pick up a pair that flatters your face shape. Or, if you can’t stand wearing them, invest in contacts.

17. Get to the hair salon. Dye your hair a new color to feel like a completely new person. Or at least get your dead ends chopped off and your roots touched up. TC mark

The One Weird Trick That Will Actually Help You Stop Fighting With Your Significant Other

Posted: 08 Dec 2016 05:30 PM PST

Kaboompics // Karolina
Kaboompics // Karolina

Do you find you and your spouses fight often get quiet heated?
Which sometimes result in you shouting at your spouse?
And making things only worse?

In order to avoid falling into the trap of yelling at your spouse during an argument, you first need to understand one thing about arguments themselves. One of the things that cause arguments to escalate beyond where they should… is our inability to control our emotions during those arguments.

Arguments naturally arouse our emotions. And when we don't know how to control those emotions, this is what can lead to arguments that ultimately result in yelling at the other person.

And not only do shouting matches not resolve the core issues at hand (ie what you both were arguing about)… but such arguments only degrade your relationship further. A lose-lose scenario.

So what can I do?

A very useful relationship program that came out a few years ago was called "Tapping Great Intimacy: Rewire Your Brain For Great Relationshipsby Dawson Church P.H.D. I highly recommend you have a look at it if you want to know how to stop fighting in a relationship or marriage. This is because it's not based on the usual superficial "feel-good" advice you'll find out there… but rather is based on sound behavioral and psychological science.

In one section of it, he reveals a secret on how to kill shouting matches before they even begin… by killing the emotions that cause those shouting matches in the first place.

So what’s the secret?

What you need to do is… relax your tongue. Let your tongue rest motionless on the bottom of your mouth. That's it! Now, with your tongue lying motionless – try and get angry. Think about the last fight you yelled at your spouse. Try and get mad (but keep your tongue loose on the floor of your mouth).

You'll find very quickly that it's very difficult to feel the same angry emotions towards your spouse as you had when you were fighting with them.

Why does this work?

You see, you can't get angry with your tongue on the floor of your mouth. Your tongue acts like an unconscious signal to your subconscious about your current environment and how it is making you feel.

  • A Relaxed Tongue: When you are feeling safe, well and happy… your tongue naturally becomes relaxed and sits on the floor of your mouth. This in turn, over the course of your life to date, has set up an anchor in your mind that a relaxed tongue signifies that all is well.
  • A Stiffened Tongue: When you are feeling apprehensive or angry about something, your tongue naturally becomes stiff and rises in your mouth. This in turn, over the course of your life to date, has set up an anchor in your mind that a stiffened, pensive tongue signifies that all is not well.

In this exercise, when you relaxed your tongue on the floor of your mouth, what you were doing (without realizing it) was sending a signal to your nervous system (which in turn informed your subconscious) that all was well.

You were programming yourself that you weren't mad… even though at that moment in time you were thinking about an argument with your partner. In effect, you created a bypass of the stressful emotions that you had normally associated with thinking of arguments with your partner.

This "bypass" allowed you to program your mind that you were safe, there was no need for a "flight or fight" decision… and that all was well.

Why is this important?

Very simple. As I went through at the beginning of this article, one of the overriding things that cause arguments to escalate out of control… is our inability to control our emotions during those arguments.

What this technique does, is it allows you to control those emotions at that specific moment in time. And when you can control your emotions during an argument like this… it opens the way for you to discuss the problems you're arguing with your spouse about… in a far more controlled manner.

Yelling at your spouse solves nothing… and only makes things worse.

When you can approach arguments like this, your partner in turn is much less likely to become emotional because they can see that you are not becoming emotional. You set up for them the same “safe and well environment” that you were trying to create for yourself using the tongue relaxing exercise. A win-win scenario. And one that facilitates your arguments to be handled in a constructive resolutory manner. TC mark

If You Can’t Say ‘Yes’ To These 10 Questions, You’re Settling

Posted: 08 Dec 2016 05:00 PM PST

@LPKPHOTO
@LPKPHOTO

1. Are you proud of them? You should feel a little urge to brag when the subject of them comes up — not the urge to complain about them or hide parts of them that you don’t think are ideal. If you don’t admire them, you shouldn’t be with them.

2. If you were in a major accident, do you know without hesitation that your partner would be there to nurse you back to health? It’s easy to have a great relationship when you’re young and healthy and nothing bad has happened to you in life yet, but you need to be confident that they’ll be good during the dark times too. Could you count on them to help you use the bathroom if you had knee surgery and couldn’t sit/stand easily?

3. Do they fight with both your interests in mind? Or do they selfishly push their own agenda, as if they lose by letting you have something they way you want it? A good relationship is a good team, and if you’re fighting against each other instead of with each other neither of you is going to be happy.

4. Can you say where the two of you stand? You deserve someone who isn’t afraid to define the relationship. They need to be open with you about their intentions and where they are at, not keep you waiting for whatever scraps of a relationship they’ll allow you to have.

5. Are you able to tell them when they do something that annoys you? When you’re not secure in a relationship, you hold back. You don’t want to be annoying or a burden so you let things build up. In a good relationship, you don’t have to share about every little thing that you don’t like, but you should be comfortable pointing out the things that matter.

6. Do they fundamentally like you as a person? They can’t be waiting for some future change in order to love you — or worse, settling themselves. They have to love you as you are, they way you your best friend.

7. Does the distribution of chores feel equal? I’m not just talking about housework. Even if you don’t live together there are unpleasant tasks that need to be done in every relationship like organizing vacation details, planning dates, cooking meals, and figuring out how you’ll spend holidays.

8. If you had to start over, would you pick them again? It’s easy to give a quick ‘yes’ to this question, but really spend time thinking about it. This will help you determine whether you’re with them out of ease and habit, or whether you actively want them in your future.

9. Are you happier now than you were at the beginning of the relationship? External circumstances aside, the whole point of being with someone is that they add something to your life. If you’re not happier with them than you were on your own, that’s a pretty big red flag.

10. Would you be happy for your hypothetical future children if they ended up in a similar relationship? Sometimes we’re harder on ourselves than we are on others. Think of someone you love and want the best for and consider whether you’d be ecstatic (or disappointed) if they ended up in a similar relationship. If it’s not good enough for them, it’s not good enough for you. TC mark

The One Thing Women Fail To Realize About The Men We Fall For

Posted: 08 Dec 2016 04:31 PM PST

CreateHER
CreateHER

I think we’ve all fallen for the wrong guy at least once–some of us are professionals at picking the wrong one, but the majority of us have definitely done it at least once. As I dig deeper into this idea let me be clear about one thing, I am not talking what we fail to realize about the guy who is NOT for us.

As we approach 2017, dating around literally couldn’t be any harder. What with catfishing, hatfishing, and bold face liars the pool gets shallower by the day. Still, we desire companionship and take the risk anyway–and we should. The way I see it, you don’t know whether or not a watermelon is sweet if you don’t cut it and taste it–and relationships are just the same. So don’t feel bad about falling hard when the opportunity arises. Taste the fruit, girl! If it’s bad, throw it out and if it’s sweet enjoy it to the very last bite. Whether you’re knee deep in love or just getting your feet wet in the dating pool, don’t be naive to the one thing women fail to realize about men we fall for. Let’s get into it!

Men are simple.

The older I get the more I realize just how different women are created than men. As women (most of us) have a natural instinct to be caretakers and because we think that way we often desire that same thing from the man we give our time to. Yes, there are some men who reciprocate that well, but most of them need the reminder. Again, men are simple.

What I mean by that is this, instead of coming in from a hard day’s work and expecting him to know you want him to rub your back or fix you a glass of wine–tell him. Instead of wanting him to know that you really want that necklace you showed him when y’all walked the mall together–tell him. If you need him to take the trash out more often–tell him. Whatever that one thing is that you keep expecting him to know, but he just keeps missing… you have to tell him. It’ll make things a hell of a lot easier.

In my experience, asking for what I need or want gets me much better results than expecting someone to read my mind or ‘know’ what I’m feeling without me telling them. It’s unfair, too. Although there are some of us that do it well, not everyone does–and that isn’t just with romantic relationships.

Many of us ruin a good thing because of what we expected someone to do as opposed to what we asked someone to do.

We say communication is key in any lasting relationship, but we neglect the importance of actual dialogue. When you’re mad, don’t signal–tell him. Do it calmly, but you’re a grown ass woman. USE YOUR WORDS. If we realized just how simple men are, we would see that clear direction and suggestions will get us a lot farther than hints and subliminal messages. It doesn’t mean that he doesn’t care when he can’t “figure out” what’s wrong with you, but it says a whole lot when he responds (verbally and physically) to what you’ve actually said to him.

Actions speak louder than words, but don’t forget that words make a little noise too.

To the men reading, I wrote this piece for my ladies, but it could be the same for you! The next time you expect your partner to ‘know’ something based on what you did but didn’t say, assume good intent. Men are simple and the more communicative we are when building or maintaining a relationship, the smoother things are likely to go. Remember though, all is fair in love and war. Don’t expect to be able to keep things open and honest about your needs and desires without offering the other person the same courtesy. Tough skin gals, tough skin–but that’s for another day.

In the meantime, the next time you come home from work and want your feet rubbed, don’t hint–just ask. TC mark

To The Next Guy I Love, I Refuse To Promise You ‘Forever’

Posted: 08 Dec 2016 04:00 PM PST

 Thought.is
Thought.is

I don’t know where you are right now. And honestly? That’s better. If some magical Genie appeared and offered me a road map to your exact location, I’d pass. And if I’m being really truthful, I’d ask for cash instead. Ya girl’s got bills to pay, babe.

I don’t need to find you right away. I don’t need you to consider myself complete or to experience genuine love and enjoyment in life. Sure, it’s comforting to think you’re out there. It’s a nice thought. And when our paths do cross, I bet I’ll be writing so many terrible poems about how grossly, over-the-moon in love with you I am. Because, fair warning, I write poetry. I know, dude. I know.

When we first fall for one another, we’ll probably be tempted to profess some grand things. My mouth reacts before my brain has a moment to catch up. My heart controls more of me than I like admitting.

In the past, I’ve been told (and also made) some empty promises. The biggest one being this murky, overhyped idea of forever.

At the risk of sounding entirely unromantic, forever is bullshit.

We don’t have forever people. The only REAL forever we’re sure to have is the relationship we have with ourselves.

So, no, I won’t promise to love you forever. I won’t promise to stay the same woman you met. I won’t promise to never change my mind about what I want, my goals, my hopes for the future.

Instead, I’ll love you in the present. I’ll love you in the moment, in the here and now. I might say something like, “Somehow, I love you today even more than yesterday.” And I’ll be telling the truth. I won’t lie just because it sounds pretty.

But I’m not going to say forever.

Forever doesn’t account for life, for all the curves and unexpectedness. Forever doesn’t usually think about tragedy or hardship, or maybe most common, how time can push two people apart without either person being at fault.

Yes, I’m going to have days when I look at you with goofy stars in my eyes and call you my Honey and want to kiss you until the sun explodes. Yes, I can almost guarantee when I’m so consumed with how lucky I feel to be with you, I’ll get a little melodramatic about my love.

But I won’t say forever.

Forever isn’t fair. And more than anything, I want my love to be fair. I want my love to be durable, steady, understanding. I want my love to grow and evolve and always get up willing to try.

Forever is what kids promise. Forever is what you whisper in the backseat before you lose your virginity and don’t know how much more you’re going to eventually learn.

We don’t need forever to know how good we’ve got it. We don’t need forever to appreciate this love. That, I promise. TC mark

Here’s A (Probably Made Up) Story Keira Knightley Told About Her Daughter’s Reaction To Trump

Posted: 08 Dec 2016 03:33 PM PST

Say When
Say When

In the wake of Trump’s election there were a lot of stories from Facebook Parents about how their kids were ‘scared’ or ‘terrified’ or ‘angry’ when Trump got elected. These stories were pretty eyeroll-worthy because until a certain age kids just believe what you tell them. If your kids are terrified of Trump, it’s because you told them to be terrified of Trump which, honestly, is the kind of thing you should insulate your kids from, not milk for Facebook likes.

To be clear, there’s plenty for kids to be scared about when it comes to Trump and the future, it’s just that it’s not really their job to be worried. Parents are there to worry on behalf of their kids, so they don’t have to. If you’re worried about paying the mortgage, you don’t confide in your 2-year-old.

Anyway, Keira Knightley just told viewers of The Jonathan Ross Show what her 19-month-old daughter did while they were watching Trump coverage the morning after the election:

“She's like this watching the television, completely silently and totally still for about four minutes and she rolls over onto her back and she closes her eyes and she goes, 'Fuck!'”

Again, it’s possible the story happened exactly as Knightley described, but do the events have any connection? Does she think her baby daughter saw a man on the television, realized the television show was a non-fiction current news program, made a rational decision that she doesn’t like the person pictured and then chose the f-word on purpose as her reaction? Keira has to know that there’s no meat in this story, it’s just a child repeating a word it’s heard her parents say.

Keira says of the story “I’m very proud.” TC mark

5 Drunk Texts We’re All Guilty Of Sending (At Least Once)

Posted: 08 Dec 2016 03:30 PM PST

1. The classic “you up?”

In case you live under a rock, this is code for, “I’m horny.” It’s usually sent between the hours of midnight and 2 am. And gotta say, to its credit, at least this text doesn’t pretend to be anything other than what it is: a booty call.

2. The wrong person.

Brandon, Brendon – how were you supposed to tell the difference after multiple tequila shots? Just hope there weren’t any pictures attached. Because that’s one awkward, “sorry I meant to text this to someone else!” conversation.

3. The ex.

Oh, the ex. What would Drake even write about if drunkenly texting an ex wasn’t a thing? We’ve all been there. Blame it on the liquor. Or, just put your phone away. Tomorrow you will be thankful.

4. The extra letters.

You’re just so full of joy and a warm, fuzzy feeling has taken over your body. You must contact everyone you care about to let them know:“i loooveeee youuuuuuuuu.”

5. The unintelligible.

Nobody knows what you were trying to communicate. And when you look at it the next day, neither do you. TC mark

A Letter To Assholes: Here’s Why She’ll Never Come Back And You’ll Never Forget Her

Posted: 08 Dec 2016 03:00 PM PST

 Omar Yassen
Omar Yassen

Congratulations! You're the unluckiest man on earth. The woman who loved you with her whole heart, waited for you and fought with you has left. Was she a choice, an option, or just a random mistake?

You disappointed her over and over again. You've done it so much that you became a bundle of disappointments. You always said you'll be there but canceled last minute. You kept acting like you had some place better to be. You broke your promises and so you broke her heart. Every time you said no, every time you rejected her.

Every time you gave her some lame excuse. Every time you were flakey. Every time you said you didn't know or you didn't remember. Every time you didn't put in effort. Every time you looked at her like you were guilty of something. Every time you hurt her on purpose. Every time you referred to the future like she didn't exist. Every time you treated her as if she was ordinary, you killed the love she had for you.

You took her for granted. You treated her as she will always be there. And you were so arrogant you couldn't look past your ego. So, when she made time out her busy schedule to see you or when she chose to be with you than to be with people who she hasn't seen in a while, you thought she did it because she had a weak spot for you but she did it because she missed you and wanted you around.

You've mistaken her giving nature for weakness and that's one of the major areas where you fucked-up. You wanted to keep her around for as long as you could until you became sure she was the one after you gave it a shot with all of the other women out there who weren't her. She was there for you all of the time but you never were there for her that one time she needed you.

You prevented her from being who she really is. You kept emphasizing on how you wanted things to be and where you wanted them to go that she literally had no room to be herself. She stopped feeling safe with you. So, she stopped trusting you with her heart, body, and thoughts.

You kept her on the surface when she is like a tree that strives on roots. She began hiding her feelings. She stopped sharing with you what she was thinking. She started wishing she hasn't met you in first place because you became troubling instead of comforting.

You betrayed her trust. One way or another you lied where she was testing your character and you failed. You withheld important information. You only told her things after she found out. You were sorry because you got caught. Instead of thinking how she wanted to surprise you next, she was questioning your intentions. When she looked at you, she wasn't sure if she was looking at a dream or a living nightmare..

You've exhausted her. She got so tired of your melodrama and crap that she couldn't take it anymore. Your insecurities, your past experiences, your lack of initiative, your misery, all of it became too much. She waited patiently and kindly. She was the sunshine, a wild card. Yet, all that was not enough for you.

She wanted magic and you gave her the illusion of it. She wanted to be lost in your world and she wanted you to be lost in hers. She fell in love with you. She fell in love with all of you especially the way you move. She found you imperfectly perfect and you didn't believe her.

She wanted the good, the bad. She wanted your ugly and the beautiful. She wanted to witness your dark side. She wanted the weak, the vulnerable you. And she wanted the romantic, sincere you.

What she felt for you was that feeling you have when you're running on the beach or surfing, feeling the air at night brush against your skin, that perfect amount of sunshine, hugging a baby, the anticipation as a dog runs towards you, grabbing a fresh towel straight from the dryer, looking into the eyes of the person you love and seeing one galaxy after the other. TC mark