Thought Catalog

I’m Going To Leave You Behind In 2016

Posted: 31 Dec 2016 11:00 PM PST

If I were to leave this year honest,

I'd admit that a part of me is still wishing you would come back.
Not forever, or for years or even for one night,
But maybe just for a cup of coffee.
We could sit in the corner booth beside frosted cafe windows and just talk for a little while.

I’d remember one milk and two sugars, and how your chin creases when you’re trying not to smile. I’d take note of the way you still run your fingers through your hair every time you get nervous. I'd listen closely to the rhythm and cadence of your voice as you talk lightheartedly about the past year, and I would label that song something like Peaceful Nostalgia at Last.
I would put it on repeat until it no longer ached my bones, then once I knew all the words, I would break the record in two.

See I would like to hear your laughter as nothing more than simple laughter. I would notice how it fills the room, not in its once ever-expanding universe kind-of-way, but rather as a lovely, simple noise.
I would like to breathe it in deeply, letting it fill my lungs like a drag from the last cigarette before a midnight resolution.
I would like to exhale your happiness one last time to prove to myself it has no control over mine.

I promise we can keep our glances at a safe enough distance.
When the icy blues in our eyes collide, I want to make note of how weak the gravitational pull has become.
I want to feel the fluttering weightlessness of gazes that once fell deep and heavy.
I want to break the intimacy and feel next to nothing.

Because this new year will be the first in so long that does not know you at all.

You will not be a name that is wrapped into its slow, brisk Spring mornings or hazy, drunk Summer nights. You will not wait up until midnight to wish me a happy birthday or to call me when the ball drops.

So if I'm being honest,

I want to sit there with you for just a moment. I'd like you to tell me about your family and school and how your dreams have shifted shape since we last spoke. I want to have a conversation that doesn't become consumed with the melancholy of our relentless failure to love one another right.
I want to know you at the end the way I knew you at the start, so pure and untainted.
I want to remember you here.

I would like to meet with you one last time to see you as a person, not my person, just a person, in a café at the end of a beautifully heartbreaking year. And this, my old friend, is where I would like to leave you, wrapped in peaceful nostalgia- at last. TC mark

4 Lessons I Had To Learn The Hard Way In 2016

Posted: 31 Dec 2016 10:00 PM PST

2016 will come to an end in just a handful of days and it's this time of the year where in people usually look back and reflect on how much of a shitty year they've had. To be honest, I actually thought 2016 was great—if I exclude the lonely moments filled with thoughts of regret, the sleepless nights filled with tears and heartache, the people I've lost, the friendships that faded and the things that went downhill.

But I guess that's all part of a year and I can't separate the good from the bad in order to define my year.

Speaking from an optimist's point of view; I believe that from the bad things this year brought me, I was able to learn from them and in the best yet most painful way possible: experience.

1. Don’t lose yourself trying to keep someone.

This year I found myself doing a lot of things I was not comfortable doing or things I felt wasn't right, all because of the fear of losing or disappointing people. In the end, I ended up losing both myself as well as the people I tried to keep. If anyone in your life ever leads you to do something you don't want to do for him or her, let him or her go – they never really cared about you in the first place.

2. Get over something or someone before you start moving on.

Think of it as unnecessary baggage or weight on a journey. How will you reach your destination with so much weight and baggage on your shoulders? That's right, let go and drop it.

3. Don’t keep it all in; find someone who cares and understands, then let it all out.

I've had my fair share of horrible things this year, which lead to the lonesome late nights of crying myself to sleep and usual moping in the corner. I was never one to talk about my problems and feelings because I always had the perception that it would make me seem weak to actually open up about these matters to someone. But this year changed that perception; I found people who went through similar bullshit and opening up to these people made everything automatically better. Also, a bonus was that talking to these people strengthened my friendships with them. Bottling up emotions is toxic.

4. Don’t force pieces that don’t fit – the importance of being open-minded.

It's pretty self-explanatory. Why force something that was never meant to be in the first place? I understand that not forcing pieces that don't fit is something easier said than done because of the expectations we make by ourselves and for ourselves, but if we are open-minded we will learn to let go and be open to new possibilities. TC mark

‘She Took My Pants Off And Said *Wow*’ And 19 Other Real Sex Stories To Read In Bed This Weekend

Posted: 31 Dec 2016 08:00 PM PST



I was lazing in bed one Sunday morning with my SO. We’re lightly fooling around and chatting about sex. I love nipple stimulation and mention how I liked them squeezed really hard. We get an idea and he nips downstairs to the kitchen and comes back with two different types of clothes pegs. We try the wooden ones first but they hurt too much, the plastic ones still cause intense pain but I can just about take it. We’re lying next to each other and I’m feeling pretty good about being able to take it when I notice that I’m insanely turned on, I mention this to him and he slips his hand down there to check for wetness. I’m soaked!

He immediately gets the hardest boner ever. Feels like I can barely get my hand around it. He tries to finger me but I can’t wait. I throw him on the bed and jump on his magnificent cock. I cum almost immediately, really hard. Hard enough to push him out of me but I’m on top so I use my bodyweight to keep him in. I can feel my pussy contracting around him, he has this huge grin on his face. Almost as soon as I finish orgasming I’m aware of the clamping pain on my nipples, it sets me off again so I fuck him a bit more. It takes virtually nothing before I cum again. Over and over I repeat this cycle, I cum five times in five minutes. It’s insane, my body has become some kind of orgasm machine. I can’t take any more and ask him to take the pegs off me. Bloody hell that hurts!

I lay down to recover while he massages my poor abused titties with this dopey ear to ear grin on his face. I needed a bit of time to compose myself but then fair’s fair I suck him off until he cums (it doesn’t take long, he was so turned on). Afterwards we lay in each other’s arms wallowing in our love for each other.


Enthusiasm. I once hooked up with a girl who had it in spades. When I replay that night over in my head there’s not really anything physical about her or the sex that stands out.

But, my god. This woman was enthusiastic. She made me feel like a God damn porn star from the moment when she got my pants off and said “oh wow” to later when she was saying shit like “your cock is so deep inside me.”

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t consider myself to be anywhere near a sexual God our anything, but this girl sure made me feel that way.


50 “Never Have I Evers” That Will Help You Spot The Most Sexually Experienced Person In Your Friend Group

Posted: 31 Dec 2016 07:00 PM PST

Processed with VSCOcam with m3 preset
via Amyatkins

1. Never have I ever slept with siblings.

2. Never have I ever repurposed a common household item as a sex toy.

3. Never have I ever slept with someone on account of their impressive social media following.

4. Never have I ever had to delete provocative email exchanges or text threads out of fear that my partner would find them.

5. Never have I ever hit on someone after spotting their wedding band.

6. Never have I ever fooled around with a really close friend just to see what it was like.

7. Never have I ever performed oral sex on someone without ever kissing them on the mouth.

8. Never have I ever called someone the wrong name while hooking up.

9. Never have I ever required medical attention because there was a foreign object stuck inside me.

10. Never have I ever had sex with someone I wasn't attracted to because I wanted to get laid that badly.

11. Never have I ever blown a line of cocaine off of someone else's body.

12. Never have I ever received a noise complaint immediately after sex.


50 Raunchy ‘Truth Or Drink’ Questions That Will Get The Entire Party Wasted

Posted: 31 Dec 2016 06:00 PM PST

Truth Or Drink is a very simple game.

First, a member of the group poses an extremely personal question to the rest of the players. Then, everyone who’s participating must either answer the question honestly, or drink.

There’s only one rule to keep things interesting: Questions cannot be “Yes” or “No” in nature, as drinking usually indicates the more scandalous of the two answers.

If you’re stuck for open-ended questions, here are 50 sexy starters that will get the game rolling:


If you had to sleep with one person in this room, who would it be?


What's the raunchiest porn you've ever watched?


What's the hardest drug you've done?


What's the most degrading thing you've ever done during sex?


Who's the most inappropriate person you've ever fantasied about?


What's the most embarrassing thing you've ever done while drunk?


What's the biggest lie you've ever told a significant other?


How many people in this room would you willingly bang?


What's the most embarrassing item you've ever used to get yourself off?


What was the last thing you masturbated to?


What's the #1 thing you would never want your parents to find out about you?


What was the worst sex you ever had?


What's the kinkiest thing you've ever done?


Which of your exes would you still be willing to sleep with?


What's the biggest secret that you're keeping from everyone in this room?


What's your magic number?


What's the biggest age difference you've had between yourself and a sexual partner?


What's the kinkiest sex toy you've ever used with a partner?


What's the most scandalous location you've had sex in?


What's the most disgusting habit you have?


What's the most embarrassing thing that's ever happened to you during sex?


What's your biggest turn-on?


What's your biggest turn-off?


How long has your longest dry spell been?


What – if any – amount of money would you be willing to have sex with a stranger for?


What's the most embarrassing TV show that you watch?


What's the furthest you've gone sexually with a member of the same sex?


Which sexual act are you best at?


Which sexual act are you worst at?


Are you more dominant or more submissive in bed?


What's the dirtiest thing a partner's ever asked you to do?


What's the most illegal thing you've ever done?


Where's the most inappropriate place you've ever masturbated?


What's the most desperate thing you've ever done because you were horny?


What's your most outrageous sexual fantasy?


What was the last thing you cried over?


How many sex toys do you own?


What's the longest you've gone without showering?


What's the most embarrassing thing you've ever been caught doing?


How often do you fake orgasms?


What's the hottest sex you've ever had?


What is your biggest sexual regret?


What's the dirtiest sext you've ever sent?


What's something you've done while drunk that you would never do sober?


What's the closest you've ever come to cheating?


Who's the most scandalous person you've had sex with?


How many of the people you've slept with did you meet online?


What's the least amount of time you've known someone for before sleeping with them?


What's the most bizarre sexual role-play you've ever participated in?


Which of these questions would you be the most mortified to answer? TC mark

The Stupid Shit You Do While Drunk, Based On Your Zodiac Sign

Posted: 31 Dec 2016 05:00 PM PST

Twenty20, aniamisyyy
Twenty20, aniamisyyy

Aries: March 21st – April 19th

After you’ve had a few drinks, some crazy shit will come out of your mouth. You’ll make big plans, plans that you’ll never follow up on. You’ll talk about how badly you want to climb Mount Everest and how you’re going to skinny dip in the nearest river. You’ll even text some of your old friends and make plans to see them the next day. But when morning comes and you sober up, you’ll wish you’d never contacted them.

Taurus: April 20th – May 20th

You’re the type to get drunk and get into a pointless argument with your buddies. It’s nothing major, like who should become our next president. It’s stupid stuff, like if cheese tastes better with crackers or with pretzels. You’re stubborn, so you’re not going to abandon the argument. You’ll fight tooth and nail until everyone else admits that you were right all along.

Gemini: May 21st – June 20th

Alcohol never has the same effect on you. Sometimes, it turns you into a bubbly, social butterfly who floats around the room and jokes around with everybody. Other times, it makes you want to lock yourself away in your room and shut off your phone. You’ve bursted into tears while drunk once or twice, but you’ve also had some of the best nights of your life while drunk. Your reaction to the alcohol depends on the day.

Cancer: June 21st – July 22nd

Drinking is all fun and games–until you reach a certain point. Then you get touchy. If someone looks at you a certain way, you’ll start to wonder if they secretly hate you. If someone spills a drink onto your new dress, you’ll act like it’s the end of the world. You get paranoid after having a few too many drinks. Your mind turns into a dark place that you’re actually a little afraid of.

Leo: July 23rd – August 22nd

When you get wasted, you get even louder and more talkative than usual. You don’t hold back your opinions, no matter how controversial they might be. That’s why you’re used to waking up with a hangover and several friends that are pissed off at you. Of course, they always end up forgiving you, because they know that you weren’t trying to upset them. You were just being brutally, unapologetically “you.”

Virgo: August 23rd – September 22nd

You’re the queen of storytelling. When you get drunk, groups of people will gather around you in order to hear what you have to say (even though your stories are clearly dramatized). Of course, in order to tell stories, you have to create stories. That’s why you’ll do asinine things when you’re drunk, like scream out of windows and hit on strangers, just so you have something to talk about the next time you get wasted.

Libra: September 23rd – October 22nd

You hate making decisions, even if all you have to do is choose between taking shots of Jameson or grabbing a Bud Light. You also hate paying such high prices for drinks that you gulp down in two seconds. Luckily, your friends usually offer to pick up the tab, because they know you’re going to be the one holding their hair back later on.

Scorpio: October 23rd – November 21st

When you’re drunk, you become self-destructive. Even though you know better, you’ll pick up your phone and text your ex about how much you miss them–or about what a complete and utter ass they are. Either way, it doesn’t do your reputation any good. It just forces you to relive the past when you should really be enjoying the present.

Sagittarius: November 22nd – December 21st

When you get drunk, everybody assumes that you’re high instead. Why? Because you go on philosophical rants about life, the universe, and everything. You’ll ask questions that no one else would think to ask. Questions about why some coasters are square instead of round. Questions about why clowns always look so sad when they’re meant to act like they’re happy. You won’t settle for casual conversations. You ask the real questions.

Capricorn: December 22nd – January 19th

You like to flaunt your intelligence. That’s why you’ll have a few drinks and then sit down at the computer to write a screenplay, see how many answers you can get right on Jeopardy, or try to beat a video game you’ve been having trouble with. You want to prove that you’re so smart that you can do what other people can’t, even when you aren’t in your right mind.

Aquarius: January 20th – February 18th

Going out to the clubs might sound fun at first, but after you get a few drinks into you, all you’ll want to do is go back home and flop onto the couch. The thought of mingling with strangers while alcohol is swimming through your stomach makes you sick. You just want to recline your feet and watch Netflix with a bag of chips on your chest. Drinking isn’t time for socializing. It’s time for relaxing.

Pisces: February 19th – March 20th

You go with the flow, even when you’re sober. So once you get a few drinks into your system, your friends can convince you to do pretty much anything. It doesn’t matter if they say they want to sing Karaoke up on stage or if they say they want to slash their ex’s tires, because you’ll tell them that it sounds like a great idea. You’re up for anything, and sometimes, that spontaneous mindset gets you into trouble. TC mark

12 Stages Of Getting Drunk With Your Best Friends

Posted: 31 Dec 2016 04:00 PM PST

2012 SAG Awards
2012 SAG Awards

1. Planning The Pregame

Ahhh, the pre-pregame. A magical, marvelous time full of anxious questions like, “DO YOU THINK DEREK IS COMING?!” and discussing how much everyone plans on drinking…while being fully aware that those estimates will probably change.

2. The Pumped Up Pregame

Probably the most vital step of the entire night. You’ve raided each other’s closets, swapped outfits multiple times, and now you are ready for greatness. This is the time you get EXCITED AND DANCE AND CANNOT WAIT TO HAVE THE BEST NIGHT EVER!!!!

“This one?”
“Yasssss! GOD, I LOVE THIS SONG!!!”

*plays it on loop for the next hour*

3. Photographic Evidence

It’s the beginning of the night and you all look fabulous. And let’s be honest…it probably won’t last. So trust you’re going to want visual evidence. Bonus points if you put it on social media with a caption like, “with the bests” or “my team.”

4. The Dancing Fool

Every group of friends has that ONE person who can’t stop dancing. A little liquid courage hits them and BAM, they are Footloose all over the place. Doesn’t matter if you’re at a bar or just in the living room, they are putting Shakira to damn shame.

5. “I love you soooooo much”

At this point, the drinks are overflowing and so is the love. You start handing out compliments left and right. It’s like a smorgasbord of affection.

“You are my best friends and I love you so much, and you’re going to be my bridesmaids. You are the prettiest, smartest, most wonderful humans and I love you sosososoosooooooo much!” *Cue the crying*

6. The Ex Files

The alcohol has HIT full force and someone starts talking about an ex or maybe even a current love interest. And everyone else jumps in, ready to say whatever to ease the pain and get them back on track.


7. Inside Jokes

Here comes the stage when you all start strolling down memory lane, sipping on nostalgia nectar. Every joke you’ve ever had makes a way into conversation, even though it doesn’t even make sense.

8. So Many Blurry Pictures

Vision is a bit impaired at this point, and hand-eye coordination is not the sharpest it’s ever been. Someone shouts, “I’m fine! I’m not drunk! Lemme take the picture!”


Mmm, you’ve probably looked better. But that’s okay, it’s about the memory, right?


You were going to stop drinking, but then someone suggested another round for the BFFs and you were NOT going to turn that down. There’s a lot of toasting, cheers, and “TO US!” heard around the room. You’re probably a little insufferable to anyone around, but who cares. You’re together. That’s what matters.

10. “I’m doing this for your own good!”

A good friend will tell you to not text that one douchebag. But a best friend will physically remove the phone from your hand and refuse to give it back, no matter how much you beg and plead.

11. The Delivery Order

Food. The night is winding down and now you are all ravenous. Must acquire food. The greasier and fattier? The better. And maybe whoever delivers the pizza will be cute. In a perfect world, right?

12. Netflix And The Couch

You’ve made it back in one piece and are two seconds away from all passing out. You make sure everyone drank some water, and maybe even popped an Advil in preparation. You plug in a laptop and put on Friends. And let’s face it, you’ve got the best friends and Friends anyone could ever ask for. TC mark

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50 “Would You Rather?”s That Will Destroy You Forever

Posted: 31 Dec 2016 03:00 PM PST


1. Would you rather lose your sex organs forever or gain 200lbs for the rest of your life?

2. Would you rather have sex with your cousin in secret or not have sex with your cousin but everyone would think you did?

3. Would you rather get explosive diarrhea every time you meet your boss or every time you meet your SO’s parents?

4. Would you rather have a head the size of a tennis ball or the size of a watermelon?

5. Would you rather have the best house in a shitty neighborhood or the worst house in a fancy neighborhood?


Let 2017 Be Your Selfish Year

Posted: 31 Dec 2016 02:00 PM PST

Amy Humphries
Amy Humphries

Let 2017 be your selfish year. The year you stop listening to the screaming insecurities in your head, the year you stop listening to the whispers of everyone else around you, and the year you stop trying to please everyone but yourself.

Let 2017 be the year you stop telling yourself you can’t do it. The year you stop telling yourself that you aren’t worth that job, or that boy, or that life.

Let 2017 be the year you decide that you are worthy.

Let it be 365 days of focusing on you. 365 days where every minute and hour can be spent turning off your negative thoughts, even when times get tough. Let it be the time where you can look at yourself in the mirror every damn day and appreciate your body for surviving, and for working. And it let it be the time in your life where you can look at yourself and say yes, ‘I am something to be seen and I am someone worth being looked at’.

Let 2017 be the year you stop being so afraid of shining your own light. Let it be the year you start listening to your gut instincts, instead of ignoring how you truly feel. Let 2017 be the year you start putting yourself first in line. And let it be the year you shut out the echoes of your past, telling you you aren’t good enough.

And let 2017 be the year you become deaf to negativity.

Let 2017 be the year you do what you want. Let it be the year you drop everything and travel, let it be the year you move to a new city and start your life over, let it be the year you kiss girls and boys without any hesitation, let it be the year you start a new job with glowing confidence, let it be the year you tell those people to get lost when they point out your flaws, and let it be the year you tell the people who have always been there for you, that you adore them.

Let 2017 be the year you raise your middle finger high in the sky at everyone that calls you trash.

Let 2017 be the year you wash away your regrets from years before. Let it be the year you finally can begin again, awaken your dead bones, and restart your heartbeat. Let it be the year you stop looking back, and start looking forward.

Let 2017 be the year you do things for yourself. Let it be the year you walk strongly and loudly towards your goals, and towards a better life. Let it be the year you stop your doubts from even entering your mind as you rise to new occasions and new challenges. And let it be the year you climb that mountain, without fear that you will fall.

Let 2017 be the year you make mistakes and learn from them. Let 2017 be the year you fail, but never ever stop trying. Let 2017 be the year you stop being so afraid of messing up, and let those mistakes become days of regrowth and rebirth. Let 2017 be the year you look at mistakes as new opportunities to succeed.

Let 2017 be the year you let go. The year you let go of self-hatred. The year you let go of that one person who won’t ever love you like you love them. Let it be the year you let go of your self-shame and body insecurities. Let it be the year you let go of broken promises from the past, and let go of those people who were never there for you.

Let 2017 be the year you learn how to love yourself. Let it be the year you can look yourself in the eye and see the beauty that everyone else sees in you. Let it be the year you treat yourself how you truly deserve to be treated.

And let it be the year you truly live, for yourself. Not anyone else. Just you. TC mark

You Might Also Like: 101 Essays That Will Change The Way You Think by Brianna Wiest, available here.


24 Powerful Ways To Finish The Year Off Right

Posted: 31 Dec 2016 01:00 PM PST


1. Donate twenty-five personal belongings.

By the end of the year we have accumulated a lot of junk. Pick twenty-five items: be they books, articles of clothing or household objects that you can live without, and donate them to a good cause. You won't miss the clutter heading into the new year, and you'll rest easier knowing that someone else is putting them to good use.

2. Make a list of the fifteen best things you did this year.

365 days is a long stretch of time – long enough for us to forget our own accomplishments and triumphs throughout. Sit down and write a list of every tiny victory you've encountered in the past year – fifteen at a minimum, infinity at a maximum. You may be surprised at all the tiny mountains you've conquered over the past twelve months, without ever recognizing them as such.

3. Make a list of five things you wish you'd done this year, but didn't.

Just as we have to take notice of our triumphs, we also ought to take notice of the places where we sold ourselves short. Make a list of what you meant to accomplish this year, but never got around to. And then ask yourself how you're going to make sure you make it happen now.

4. Extend a genuine and heartfelt 'Thank You' to the people who got you through the year.

Think of all your lowest points throughout the year. Ask yourself who was still standing beside you in those moments. And then let those people know exactly how much they've meant to you. Those who help us with an open heart often aren't aware of how much of an impact they have – so it's our job to let them know. And to give them the thanks they deserve.

5. Sever the ties you know you ought to.

The person you need to let go of. The job that you need to stop working. The situation that has been dragging you down throughout the year – it's time to make the affirmative decision to let it all go. Why bring your baggage into the new year? If cutting off ties is going to hurt, let it hurt now. And let the new year be a place where you start over.

6. Apologize for all of the mistakes you made this year.

There's no time like the year's end to take accountability for what you did wrong along the way. Take this opportunity to own up and make amends with anyone you hurt over the past twelve months. It's never to late to say you're sorry. And you may just be giving somebody the exact closure they need heading into the New Year.

7. Forgive others for the mistakes they made this year.

Forgiveness doesn't mean welcoming someone back into your life. It doesn't even necessarily mean contacting them again. It just means making the conscious decision to let go of any anger, resentment and blame that you've been holding onto. It means accepting that we're all fallible people, and allowing ourselves to head into the new year with peace in relation to that fact, rather than fury.

8. Accept the failures you encountered this year.

It's tough to make it through the year without a single failure. But rather than dragging that beaten horse into the New Year alongside you, have the strength and the audacity before this year ends to let it go. To accept that you have failed. To let disappointment sink in, but also to revel in the freedom it allows you. We can’t fight new battles if we’re still waging war on the past. And there are so many other battles left to win.

9. Make a list of things that are going to get better.

Once you've let go of the pain, disappointment and resentment from the past year, you're finally open to acknowledge all the amazing things that could replace them moving forward. Make a list of those things – and then make an active plan to achieve them.

10. Update your resume.

Which new skills did you pick up this year? Which do you still need to work on? Make a concrete plan to fill in those gaps in the New Year (or before the Year's end) – it'll remind you how far you've come in a year, and how much more you have left to learn.

11. Cancel the subscriptions and memberships that you never use.

Was your last visit to the gym LAST January 1st? Get real with yourself and cancel the memberships you no longer use before the year rounds up. You'll be pleased with the financial liberation, and you can use the newfound money to put towards this year's resolutions.

12. Get a head start on your New Year's Resolutions.

January 1st is no day to begin resolutions – it's cold, everything's closed and there's a significant chance you'll be hungover as hell. Whichever habits you'd like to kick-start in the new year, kick-start now. By the time January 1st rolls around, you'll be accustomed to your new routine, which means you'll be infinitely more likely to stick with it.

13. Kiss somebody.

Is there any better time than the holidays to let someone know how you really feel about them? Take the opportunity to go out on a limb before the year ends – at best you'll form a fantastic new relationship. At worst, you'll have closure heading into the New Year.

14. Miss somebody.

Use the last of the year to get all the pain, heartache and strife of missing someone out of your system. Stop denying yourself the pain and allow yourself to indulge in it one last time. Get those tears out of your system and get ready to start anew in the year that follows.

15. Go visit that person you kept saying you'd visit this year, but didn't.

Think back to the beginning of the year. Who did you promise yourself you'd catch up with, go visit or not lose touch with as the year progressed? Did you follow up on that promise? And if not, there’s still time to book a plane ticket.

16. Ask yourself the hard questions you've been putting off.

It's all too easy to settle into a routine and let the little things slide – like our happiness, health and overall sense of wellbeing. Use the year's end as an opportunity to check in with yourself about whether or not you're really where you want to be in life. And if not, what you could be doing to start turning things around.

17. Unlearn a toxic belief.

Write down three negative beliefs you've been holding about yourself, other people or the world that surrounds you. And then challenge the hell out of all of them. Which of your negative perceptions are just that – perceptions? And what can you do see the other side of them before the year draws to a close?

18. Visit the doctor.

Don't carry any anxiety over your health into the New Year. Visit the doctor, psychologist or any other professional you've been putting off visiting before the year draws to a close. You'll learn what you could be doing better and you can begin implementing those changes before the New Year arrives.

19. Visit a financial advisor.

If finances were a significant source of stress for you in the past year, visiting a financial advisor is a fantastic way of alleviating some of that stress heading into the New Year. Since December is often an expensive month, it never hurts to check in on how you could be managing your finances better, and to establish what you can do differently heading forwards.

20. Make a list of all the things that you want, but are too afraid to ask for.

That raise. That relationship. That opportunity that has been dangling just out of your reach. Write it all down and then ask yourself – honestly – why you haven't directly asked for any of it yet.

21. Make an action plan to ask for those things in the coming year.

Now that you've outwardly admitted what you want, make a detailed action plan that will make phrasing those questions a reality. Write down the speech you're going to present to your boss, the text you're going to send that person, or the application you're going to send in that will make you eligible for that opportunity. Refuse to keep letting your dreams be dreams.

22. Ask your loved ones how the year has been for them.

There are years where we're very in touch with those around us, but there are also years where we get so caught up in our own struggles that the challenges of others slip into our periphery. Before the year ends, make a point to catch up with the people you care about and learn what's really been going on with them. They may appreciate it more than you could possibly know.

23. Make a list of ten things that surprised you in the past year.

Hindsight's 20/20. None of the incredible things that happen to us seem unbelievable in retrospect, but when you look back over your year, what situations have you encountered that would have surprised yourself at this time last year? Make a concrete list of all the places life has taken you in the past year that you didn't expect – and let it serve as a reminder that the coming year will likely be full of surprises, too.

24. Make a list of everything you're still afraid of going into the New Year. Set the list on fire.

If there's anything you don't want to bring into the New Year with you, it's uncertainty and fear. You may have a few apprehensions going forward. You may have some doubts. But you also have the power to realize that none of that has to stop you. As you draw this year to a close, let your fears for the coming year go up in flames. You won't let them dictate your future. And your future doesn't start with the New Year. It starts now. TC mark

Heidi Priebe explains how to manage the ups, downs and inside-outs of everyday life as an ENFP in her new book available here.