Thought Catalog

I Offered A Co-Worker A Ride Home, But Then She Offered Me A Chance To Peel Her Panties

Posted: 18 Jan 2017 08:00 PM PST


Producer’s note: Post originally appeared on R/GoneWildStories and is told by Reddit user PM_ME_UR_PANTIES

When I started my new job as a single 27 year old, finding romance in the workplace was the furthest thing on my mind. My entry level position at an insurance company placed me in the center of a room full of cubicles populated mostly by women. Most are well above my age demographic and the few that could present possibilities were married.

After a few months I found myself in a budding new relationship with Natalie who I met at a friend’s wedding. What she didn’t know was I had been, not so innocently, flirting with a married coworker named Jamie. Jamie was a sweet, innocent, and beautiful 24 year old that had been married since she was 19. At 6′ 1″ I rarely went for girls on the shorter side, but Jamie became my addiction. She was 5 feet and 1 inch of pure sex appeal. Her curly dark blonde hair bounced as she walked. I could tell that both of our faces would light up when we saw each other.

Jamie started to seem a little less bubbly each day. We began to talk less as the weeks went by and I couldn’t help but eventually wonder and feel compelled to ask why. It was then that she told me she was getting a divorce. She said they were both unhappy and had gotten married too young. I decided to keep my distance since I’m sure she had a lot on her mind.

One day, after a few weeks went by, I felt someone standing behind me. When I turned around I was greeted by thick yet toned legs tightly held back by thin grey slacks. As I am partial to a female form that fills out a tight pair of pants even more tightly, my heart started to pound. Her perfume had a faint smell of cinnamon and the grin that crept across her face exuded a sense of confidence.

She said she dropped her car off to have her windows tinted and was wondering if I would mind giving her a ride to pick it up after work. I told her yes as calmly as I could, but I have no doubt she noticed my excitement.

We walked out of the office together after work and hopped into my car. The conversation on the way there quickly turned to exercise as she knew I worked out and her newfound independence prompted her to do the same.

She tells me that she’s glad she’s not wasting her newfound confidence on her ex. She says she’s especially happy that he never saw her in the new panties she bought to try and spice things up. Taking this as an invitation to pry, I ask her what she had bought. She starts to describe a rainbow of different panties…thongs, cheekies, lacey, g-strings… I can’t help but smile and let the “teenage boy” inside of me speak.

“I’d like to see a few of those one day.”

Before I could even finish my sentence I see her smile and pull her pants down a few inches at her hip revealing the lacy blue waistband of her Victoria Secret thong. Just at that moment we are pulling into the parking lot of the glass company when she notices the sign saying closed. We just missed the cutoff time by 5 minutes. I offer to driver her to her parents house where she was staying temporarily. She accepts but feels terrible that i’m going out of my way.

By the time we get there she is apologizing and says she “owes me one.” Feeling pretty confident I tell her she should send me a picture of her in that blue thong.

She asks if I’d rather just see it in person.

I reached over and unclasp the top of her pants hoping I wasn’t moving too quickly. I stop after and look at her for a reaction when she says, “You’ll have to unzip them if you want to see more.”

I couldn’t control myself. I leaned in for a kiss that felt like my first one all over again. My heart was pumping so furiously I thought I’d have trouble catching my breath. I feel her hand on my knee. She slides it up slowly until she has a delicate grip on the bulge that has formed under my thin slacks. My cock has never been this hard. I start running my left hand up her back until I have a firm grip on her curly hair. Her hand leaves my zipper to tend to hers. She unzips and slides her tight grey pants off in one smooth motion.

I wasn’t anticipating the moment she slipped out of the passenger seat and straddled me. She was panting and so was I. She unbuckled my belt and my slacks and boxers were immediately around my ankles. She started to tease me. She was gently rubbing her wet panties up and down my shaft. Even in the dark driveway of her parent’s house, I could see how freshly shaved she was. My hands were uncontrollable. I wanted to touch every inch of her body all at the same time. Her ass and thighs were the smoothest and softest thing I have felt to this day.

When I pulled her panties aside to see her lips glistening, she grabbed my cock and sat back onto it and let out to most satisfying moan I have ever heard. It was as if her soul was itching and she finally found a way to scratch. She rocked her hips back and forth on top of me, digging her nails into my skin. I could tell she was close. I felt her grip tighten and her breathing get shallow. When I felt her warm pussy start to contract around my cock I couldn’t hold on any longer. Knowing how good she felt turned me on beyond imagination.

We came together for what felt like 10 minutes. As she slumped over my shoulder, my lips were against her ear. I whispered, “You’re so fucking amazing.” I could feel her smiling. She hopped back in the passenger seat and took off her panties before putting her pants back on. She put her blue thong around my rear view mirror, kissed me passionately and said, “See you tomorrow.” TC mark

14 Women Talk About The Worst Dick Pic They Ever Got (And What Made It Particularly Awful)

Posted: 18 Jan 2017 07:00 PM PST



“All the unsolicited ones.”

— MostlyALurkerBefore


“One time a dude sent me a dick pic but he used the mirror filter so that it looked like a dick was growing out of a dick. That was odd.”

— pinkpixy


“All of them I didn’t explicitly ask for.”

— Sabuleon


“Anything with a visible toilet.”

— tc88


“I once had been kik messaging with a guy I’d met online for a couple of days, when he asked if I’d be his girlfriend. I replied that I wasn’t ready after two days, after which he continued to pester me. I then started ignoring his messages, as it had become clear that he wouldn’t accept even the nicest way of saying ‘no.’

A week after I last talked to him, the asshole sends me a close-up video of him jerking off, which I unfortunately ended up receiving while out for a nice dinner with my parents. At least I made the right call not to open it then.

What a charmer.”

— salomeveil


“If they’re standing over the open toilet. It’s like they were about to take a piss but had morning wood and…what, thought it was a good idea to share? Ugh.

I call those “dick turds” by the way, that’s what they look like to me.”

— zugzwang_03


“My ex sent me a picture of his dick from the taint/butthole up with his balls and face visible. He looked really proud of himself in the picture.”

— Shodia


“I got sent a video of him peeing in the toilet with a very clear view of his dick.”

— Brittanyeva22


“I once got a dickvid of a guy popping/cracking their penis.”

— nicoleluvzya


“ALL of them. Dick pics are nasty. Want to send me something sexy? White t-shirt, blue jeans, James Dean look is hot as hell. Mid-t-shirt-removal is hot as hell. Lady likes to have a little left to the imagination.”

— NotAnotherWhatever


“All were bad and unasked for…but the untamed herpes dick was a bit much.”



“I’ve also received one before. Went out on quite a few dates with this guy but eventually we had to break up after a month because I found him to be too self-centered but he didn’t take it too well. A few days later, I got a whatsapp message from him “You know you want this” with a few dick pics. What’s worse, I happen to open his message in a crowded train, and I don’t know if anyone saw it. I exited at the next stop out of embarrassment.”

— serene_risa


He was my superior at work and had a fiance, and I was really not interested

— RavenousVageen


“I had a coworker, and we both opened up the restaurant. He didn’t always have a ride, so sometimes I would pick him up on my way. We traded numbers for this reason of course.

Anyway, he does some shit on my day off and gets fired. After about 2 months he starts texting me, and we are just talking about what we’ve been up to, friendly conversation. We start talking about video games, and mid conversation BOOM dick pic. Cmon dude. We weren’t even being flirty or anything.”

— VioletViola TC mark

39 Cheaters Confess Why They Did It

Posted: 18 Jan 2017 06:00 PM PST
Found on AskReddit.

1. I was horny, end of story.

"I was horny, end of story."


2. I was amazed that guys wanted me and selfishly let myself enjoy it.

"I was amazed that guys wanted me and selfishly let myself enjoy it. Until I was cheating for months at a time and realized that if someone told me about a girl doing what I was doing, I’d think she was the scum of the Earth. Broke off both relationships that day and worked on feeling good by myself."


3. Why the fuck do you think? Because I was a piece of shit who wanted to have sex.

"I cheated on my first serious girlfriend with another girl for a period of about four months, even after she found about it. She fucking called me or whatever almost every night and screamed and cried and whatever and I still kept doing it.

Why did I do it? Why the fuck do you think? Because I was a piece of shit who wanted to have sex. Everyone in this thread is going to have long, drawn-out explanations about their mental state or whatever, but the fact remains that it’s fundamentally about a lack of self-control. It’s like someone who drinks too much, eats too much, whatever. It’s just being a greasy piece of shit. It’s not that complicated or interesting.

I ended up dating the girl I cheated on my girlfriend with for about 5 years without cheating, then she dumped my ass and was engaged about 6 months later (so, she was probably cheating on me in other words) in case anyone wanted to get some karmic justice out of this story."


4. Because she withheld sex for a year and a half.

"I cheated on my ex for a long time because she withheld sex for a year and a half. Obviously, she has a right to say no to sex, as does anybody, but she purposely withheld it for a year and a half because I forgot to clean the shower one day. I don’t know why I stayed with her to be honest and I'm not even sorry about it."


5. After five years without a woman’s touch, it does get lonely.

"I cheated once. I put myself through the wringer for months. I’ve never cheated on anyone since. I had right too during a bad marriage, I never did. After five years without a woman’s touch, it does get lonely."


6. I love meeting new women and making them orgasm.

"I really wish I could settle down with one woman. I have cheated on every single GF I have ever had and two wives. The only woman I never cheated on was married! It lasted 2.5 years and her husband never found out. I am not a sociopath and I feel guilty as hell but I love meeting new women and making them orgasm. After all the practice, I have gotten quite good at that. Still, wish I could stop…"


7. I cheated because I like sex, and my husband is not always around to provide it.

"I cheated because I like sex, and my husband is not always around to provide it, being away with work (USMC) for months at a time sometimes. I don’t deny being weak willed. The same reason I’m a smoker I imagine."


8. Because I was a terribly selfish person.

"Because I was a terribly selfish person. Why I am that way is presumably a combination of genetics and upbringing. Now that I’m older I’m a much better person with much more self-control.

But basically I was young, attractive, and women would basically just offer to sleep with me. Honestly I’m not sure unattractive men can appreciate how hard it is to resist women when they purposefully make themselves available."


9. They were boys and I needed a man.

"I cheated on both my boyfriends before I met my husband, who I never cheated on. Why I cheated on the two first ones? They didn’t give me what I needed, despite me asking for it. They were boys and I needed a man. Found someone who fucked me like a man and went for it. Then I met my husband and never looked back."


10. It helped my self-esteem enough to give me the confidence to leave my abuser.

"Woman here, was in an abusive relationship that I was frightened to end. Confided in a close friend and we had a short-lived intimate relationship that showed me how kind and respectful people can be and helped my self-esteem enough to give me the confidence to leave my abuser.

I am so thankful that I slept with that friend, it turned my life around for the better."


11. I lost all attraction to my ex (little to begin with).

"I lost all attraction to my ex (little to begin with). Didn’t brush his teeth, didn’t want to work out with me, cried a lot over nothing, didn’t shower sometimes or forget to wear deodorant. Then wanted to cuddle or have sex and get mad at me for being disgusted by him because his dick would smell bad….

So after 2 years of that I met my current boyfriend we were friends at first but the attraction was definitely there. At first I just really wanted to fuck him but then I fell for him. Tried to suppress that shit given my ex tried to kill me for talking to my female friends but thought … fuck it.

We were talking one night and I guess he got me to admit that my ex was abusive. He at first didn’t want to be a home wrecker but the 'fuck it I want you' though was his too and holy shit… I knew I wasted 5 years of my life but my current boyfriend showed me everything I was missing.

Then I planned out to get my shit together and leave, he tried to kill me again and stalked me for a while but I think he’s stopped. We are hundreds of miles away so I feel better about it.

Was it right? Probably not, do I care … nope."


12. I was in a bad marriage.

"I was in a bad marriage. He refused to get a job and was an emotionally abusive man and always blaming me for the problems we were having. (the big problem was we didn’t have enough money) I suffer from depression and due to all of this fighting it was getting worse.

Out at a gathering of friends I meet a guy and he’s funny and we have lots in common and it was a start of something. And I cheated. I told this guy that I was married and that I was conflicted but he said he wouldn’t push me and that he was interested in me, but wouldn’t do anything I wasn’t comfortable with. But I did it and he was so different from my selfish husband.

This guy helped me get the guts to leave my husband. I told him that I wanted a divorce soon after and this new guy helped me in any way he can. I’m still with him over 4 years later.

I know that what I did wasn’t the best way to go about it. I know I hurt my husband when he found out that I had been cheating, but finding the right person to get me out of the situation and finding someone who really cares about me is the real story."


13. I have come to understand that I am not someone who can be happy in a completely monogamous relationship.

"I have cheated in previous relationships. I have come to understand that I am not someone who can be happy in a completely monogamous relationship. And there’s nothing wrong with that—as long as I don’t make monogamous commitments to others that I know I won’t keep.

So while I don’t think I would cheat again, I also wouldn’t enter into a monogamous relationship again. Monogamy makes me feel trapped and anxious and amplifies all my desires to stray. The idea of it (for myself—it works just fine for others) honestly makes me feel sick. When I’m in an open relationship, I feel much more relaxed, and I don’t actually pursue other partners very often. It makes me happy just to know I could if I wanted to.

If you’re looking for an “excuse”—I guess I forgive myself for my past cheating partially because it’s so ingrained in our culture that relationships must be monogamous. When you’re growing up and starting to explore sex and romance, you’re never encouraged to stop and think about whether monogamy works for you or makes you happy. It’s just the way things are. So I can understand why it took me a while to figure out that it didn’t work for me, and that that didn’t mean I was broken or immoral—I just needed a different type of relationship in order to be a good partner. Yes, it would have been better for me to figure that out without cheating, but I honestly don’t know if I would have. Still, I do accept some responsibility."


14. I cheated on my last partner because he was a piece of shit who didn’t let me break up with him.

"I cheated on my last partner because he was a piece of shit who didn’t let me break up with him because if I did he would have committed suicide and I didn’t want to feel like it was my fault."


15. I started cheating because I felt trapped.

"At first I simply didn’t think about it, when I first started early high school. I was always real nerdy and awkward. Girl showed an interest in me? I jumped at it because it was so rare. Then I grew into my head a little bit more, got some coordination and confidence, and more girls showed interest. So I jumped at those chances too. I didn’t get caught, so I never saw the hurt it could cause. I guess it was just the innocence that I didn’t know what I was doing.

Until I did, I got caught, and I’m sure it hurt her. She became paranoid and eventually abusive and toxic. I’ll never know why we didn’t end it there. I started cheating again because I felt trapped. She threatened to kill herself when I tried ending it, it was my only way to feel like I still had control over my life. This continued for years. I cheat, she gets paranoid, abuses me, I go out and cheat again to reassure myself that I’m still my own person.

I finally got tired and left her and figured that if she killed herself… Well at least I’d be free. She was bluffing though. We went our separate ways.

Now I’m with someone I consider to be the love life, there’s no urge to cheat anymore, but I’m still forever paranoid that karma is going to rip this away from me. But honestly tldr I just didn’t have self-control, and I think that’s what it boils down to in the majority of cases."


16. Took me a long time to learn that monogamy wasn’t really my bag.

"I’ve cheated on multiple partners, multiple times. Mostly just because I wanted someone and I could, sometimes because I was lashing out at problems in the relationship. Took me a long time to learn that monogamy wasn’t really my bag. Then got into an open relationship and didn’t enjoy it as much as I thought I would. So basically I’m now pretty confused about what I want."


17. I just felt like I was trapped.

"I cheated on my ex of three years. It was a toxic and abusive relationship. He got me to move hours away from my family and I had no one. He had cheated on me before and put me down the whole time, like I just felt like I was trapped. I started confiding in a friend from back home and got very emotionally attached to him without even realizing at first what I was really doing. Then it became obvious I was a lot happier when interacting with said friend than the boyfriend I lived with. I finally ended the relationship, moved back home and started dating him.

We’ve been together for almost 8 months now and let me tell you, it feels so great to even breathe without someone yelling at me about it."


18. I ventured towards a friend that gave me attention, and it was refreshing.

"I take full responsibility for cheating and fully understand what I did was terrible and poorly handled. My boyfriend of two years was the center of my family’s whole world. I was severely ill during this time and felt as though his attention and the attention of my family should have been on me, selfish I know. So I ventured towards a friend that gave me attention, and it was refreshing. Our relationship became intimate and lasted for a few months. I ended up telling my bf and we split shortly afterwards."


19. Primarily because there is an instinctive urge to.

"The same reason people eat. Not because they need to do that to survive and have energy, but primarily because there is an instinctive urge to. The amount of urge to eat, and cheat, is different for different people.

Cheating in all forms can give someone an advantage over others.

In males, sperm is cheap and it leads to more offspring being left behind.

In females it can allow you to create offspring with the traits you find attractive, while having someone else provide for you or the child that is more capable at that job.

Is this what goes through people's heads? Of course not, people use contraception. But just as you don’t eat food to stop yourself from dying—instead because it’s an impulse with an urge and a reward—cheaters are acting on an impulse with an urge and a feeling of reward.

People that feel that urge greater than others might end up overweight, or more promiscuous, and if asked to explain why they do it, they’ll probably try and rationalize it, and maybe there are some real triggers, but it boils down to the feeling they get from it.

That feeling has been naturally selected for. Other social animals cheat, too.

Part of cheating in a social group that remembers faces and gives them reputations is to not be caught. It is advantageous to not be caught. It makes sense you’d get a rush from knowing nobody knows what you’re up to; it means you’re doing it right.

What it’s not is a conscious decision to hurt someone and be selfish. Does it hurt someone, and is it selfish? Yes, but that’s not why it exists or why people do it. Just as obese people don’t eat to destroy their bodies and the lives of their enablers. They do it because it’s an impulse that they don’t control, for whatever reason.

Other animals without the capacity to think in the capacity we can about concepts like ‘hurt’ or ‘selfishness’ do it too."


20. Sometimes because of crazy attraction, sometimes because of the thrill of it being ‘wrong’ and perverse.

"I’ve done it multiple times. In each case, there was someone else that I met and had sexual energy with (But not much energy of any other kind)—sometimes because of crazy attraction, sometimes because of the thrill of it being ‘wrong’ and perverse, sometimes because of something else—and we acted on it. Never prolonged, usually just a few times at most. Multiple times, the other party was also in a relationship and cheating as well and in every case, they knew I was in a relationship.

In all cases, no one ever told anyone and no one ever found out. In all cases, it had literally zero affect/impact on my existing relationship and didn’t alter the way I felt about my SO or how we interacted. It just happened and myself and the other party would move on and go back to our relationships and be happy.

Given what I had read and seen in media and online and elsewhere, I kept waiting for some kind of crushing guilt to come down on me or for it to come out or blow up or something. It never did. Didn’t even alter my existing sex life with my partners. Life moved on, it felt good, and then…nothing happened. The reality, which I think most here would find it hard to swallow, is that most adulterous relations are probably like my situation and not like the ones you read about. I think most people who cheat completely get away with it, they keep their mouths shut about it and never bring it up, and nothing ever comes of it."


21. Emotional protection. But it backfired.

"Emotional protection. But it backfired.

I had been cheated on by two different people in my life, I got bitter and thought 'Every woman cheats.' So I got into a new relationship (with the best-looking woman I have ever dated) and decided to cheat so that WHEN she cheats I can just be like, ‘ha-ha, I cheated a long time ago.’ So about a month into an “exclusive” relationship I got together with an old GF, then drive right to my new GF’s house and had her do oral on my still dirty self.

She turned out to be he girl of my dreams. I fell in love and got engaged. Things went south 2 weeks before we were to get married….She found out, then cheated on me with her ex-boyfriend—2 weeks before I was moving to her city (120 miles away) and getting married….

More and more I realize how amazing of a woman I lost."


22. I like validation and pulling intimacy out of people.

"I like validation and pulling intimacy out of people… After a while I know enough about the person I’m with that I get bored and find someone else for fresh validation and intimate knowledge.

I’ve had three long-term relationships that lasted four years each and a lot of experiences (single time, week duration, even months in a few cases) within those three big relationships. Only one of the three do I regret messing up.

Having matured some, I can recognize I’m better off not in a relationship. So far I’ve been good at avoiding getting into a new one for the last 11 months but I know it’ll be easy to slip into old patterns when I reach a lull in life.
It’s also exciting to juggle more than one person at a time. I tried an open relationship once, but that gutted a lot of the enjoyment of it. Kind of rambling so

Tldr: manipulative asshole with habitual cheating tendencies 10/10 would do again. Felt bad once, still haunts me 0/10."


23. I was feeling neglected and angry with my boyfriend of three years.

"I cheated once, and will probably never do it again. I was feeling neglected and angry with my boyfriend of three years, so I went out and had a fling with some guy I met online to feel empowered instead of doing the decent thing and breaking up. I still cared about him and wanted to make it work but was too scared of being alone.

I felt bad about it for a while, but four months later we did break up, and it came out that he had been cheating on me for the last eight months of the relationship. She thought she was his girlfriend and confronted me, not knowing that I had the prior claim to that title. She dumped him for a week and then took him back."


24. I wasn’t getting his attention because he just discovered World of Warcraft and spent his whole time on that.

"I cheated on my partner after being with him for a year. I think I did it because I wasn’t getting his attention because he just discovered World of Warcraft and spent his whole time on that. Me and this other guy just flirted through texts and msn but then we ended up having sex after 6 months of talking I would texted him when my partner had left my house and mum was out. I regretted it and only happened the once and I cut off contact with the guy a few days later. My partner knew something was going on but denied it all. The guy knew nothing could be said but yet he told his ex who lived 8 hours away and she looked me and my partner up on MySpace and told him everything… it turned out the guy had made a bunch of BS up about us which worked well in my favor because I got to deny it all. I hated myself for what I did I still do. It was a stupid reason to cheat on the guy who I love and who I now have a beautiful child with. I know in the back of his mind he knows what I did. But he got me back kind of by flirting with so many girls but never going to far well that’s what he says but how do I know look at what I did and covered up but we were kids then now we are adults with a child, a house and a wedding coming up. It was 9 years ago now but I think about it and question myself what if this blows up in face. Sometimes I blame my partner sometimes I blame my mum and sister who both cheated. But all I have is to blame myself and my stupid teenage actions. I hope one day I can him what I did that I hated every moment of it but he would never forgive me. I know I could never forgive or forget if he did it to me.

Wow I feel better after bottling it up all time. Thanks."


25. I wasn’t physically attracted to him and I didn’t think that mattered, but in the end, surprise! It does matter.

"I cheated on my ex for a lot of reasons. We were engaged and things moved really quickly. I wasn’t physically attracted to him and I didn’t think that mattered, but in the end, surprise! It does matter. My ex drank a lot and refused to help around the house. He was constantly talking to his ex-girlfriend. He never cared about me. We moved to a town that I completely and utterly hated. It just became a prison. I was unhappy all the time. Then I met someone at work who gave a shit. Or seemed to, anyway. I only technically cheated once. Then I felt so bad that I ended things."


26. I have poor self-control and a lack of respect for his feelings and I’m a coward.

"Why did I cheat? I have poor self-control and a lack of respect for his feelings and I’m a coward.

The long version is that we’d known each other for years through an online game, I was 16 and attention starved, quite an ugly duckling. He was funny, he made me laugh and I liked him.

We start dating, but it’s long distance. Through the years we only saw each other twice. The first visit was at my place; I wasn’t a social butterfly but I did like to go out and do things. Go to the occasional bar. Go for a picnic. He had anxiety and didn’t want to do much. Whenever I asked it was “I don’t know” with a lot of reluctance. So we stayed inside all summer playing games.

Sex was near impossible, I think it was his anxiety medication but he had a lot of trouble maintaining an erection. I was immature and not very understanding, I took it as an insult against myself.

The second visit was at his and it was just more of the same. I was in university at this point and studying, he was four years older than my 18 and had never had a single job. His life consisted solely of playing video games all day into the am, repeat. No license, no job, no drive.

His personality was a reflection of the limited media he consumed. Everything just went stagnant.

Months passed and I stopped making the effort to talk, he never initiated a conversation, always had an excuse for not even trying to look for a job. I was bored.

But I didn’t do him the courtesy of telling him this and breaking it off. I just cheated and waited till he found out. I couldn’t even bring myself to regret it, I still don’t."


27. I used cheating as an excuse to get out of a relationship instead of just dumping them.

"I’ve cheated during five of my seven long- term relationships.

It wasn’t right but I used cheating as an excuse to get out of a relationship instead of just dumping them. I’d cheat, tell them immediately, and then I could just disappear from their lives with little confrontation. Why fight to keep a cheater around?

It was always with this girl I had loved since I came out as a lesbian in grade nine and I couldn’t let her go. This summer while I was single, I made out with her at a party and for the first time in almost 8 years I felt absolutely nothing for her. I’m in a relationship now with someone who treats me way better than she ever did and hopefully I’ve grown up enough that I can talk about relationship issues with my partner instead of just falling into bed with a long-time ex."


28. My ex-husband was a lazy guy who cared more about games and comics than me, the dog, paying bills, etc.

"My ex-husband was a lazy guy who cared more about games and comics than me, the dog, paying bills, etc. On top of that, I am an extremely monogamous person, yet he told me I could have sex with another girl (bisexual here) and I could pretend to be a couple with a male friend for cosplay, including kissing.

5 years later I met a man who I could not stay away from. From the moment I met him I was in love, and realized I hadn’t been in love with my husband for years, we just existed in the same space. I became friends with the other guy over a half year period until one night I cheated. The next day I left my ex and have been married to the guy I cheated with for 7 years. I am extremely insecure and while I regret the way I ended my marriage, I would not have left otherwise. I still feel like I just met my SO and love him more every day. I no longer feel bad about it."


29. Because somebody else was also appealing.

"Because somebody else was also appealing. There are different things that I was attracted in people, but only with age/ learning about myself/ choosing/ being with a great person I understood that there will always be some small thing I’m attracted to in someone, but I have this great guy at home that satisfies me with sex better than I could have imagined. So now I realized that I was very sexually curious and was looking for different people to satisfy it in different ways. Now, I can just tell my partner that I have this crazy idea or scenario, and I want to try it, and he is totally cool with everything. Communication is the key. I’m open to his offers as well."


30. I simply was bored with them and loved the attention of other guys.

"Until my current relationship, I cheated on pretty much every guy I ever dated. I simply was bored with them and loved the attention of other guys. I had a serious problem with being alone. I would have rather been with someone, even if I didn’t like them at all, than be alone. There was only one other guy that I ever dated that I adored. Never cheated on him. He was a total shit bag who cheated on me very frequently so I got everything I deserved for what I did to others. Then, when I met my SO, everything changed. He made me want to be better as a person. I was never bored, I felt loved and just completely content. I can’t even pinpoint what changed. I just know that I have never felt a desire to cheat on him. I’ve never looked back. I was just a piece of shit, attention hungry cheater. No real reason. I was just awful."


31. The thrills, the suspense, but mostly bored and the exciting feeling of conquest.

"Why? The thrills, the suspense, but mostly bored and the exciting feeling of conquest."


32. Since he had such little faith in me, I did it anyways.

"He told me, 'I know you’re going to cheat on me. I just know it.' Even though I had NEVER done anything to make him think I was. So since he had such little faith in me, I did it anyways."


33. I might lack some basic emotions.

"I’ve cheated on all of my girlfriends with multiple girls. Excuse? None really, I enjoy the hunt and succeeding, the sex part is pretty cool too.

I never feel bad, either. I might lack some basic emotions."


34. Some of it is about rebellion, unable to accept love, want validation blah blah blah.

"I’ve cheated on probably everyone. I have issues, naturally, some of it is about rebellion, unable to accept love, want validation blah blah blah. But getting caught up in the moment is a thing, often I’m so in the here and now that really nothing else exists."


35. I have antisocial tendencies, which is why I pick up, use, and drop women so easily.

"I have cheated on multiple partners in the past without care. It's almost as if when a girl gives me a bit of attention I feel I need to see how far I can go with her, even if I have no feelings or genuine intention of being faithful. This has led to me picking up multiple partners at once, convincing them all that we are 'soul mates,' promising them everything they’ve ever wanted, then manipulating and using them for various things. I realized when I was very young that I do not feel guilt for my actions unless I know there is a strong possibility I could get caught. Even then, it's not really even guilt, it's just kinda anxiety about getting caught. I have looked into things like Antisocial Personality Disorder, Conduct Disorder, and have read up on Psychopathy & Sociopathy because I feel like am able to relate to those disorders with my thoughts and feelings. I have never been diagnosed with anything but I, as well as some close family have suspected I have antisocial tendencies, which is why I pick up, use, and drop women so easily. It would make sense, because ever since I started dating it just felt natural to hide the real me in relationships, and put on a front of a 'perfect lover' in an attempt to get as much out of the partner as possible."


36. It honestly scares me that I’ll just never be faithful.

"I’ve cheated on pretty much every girlfriend I’ve had other than my first 'adult' relationship. I have no clue why I do it. It isn’t some power thing, or control, or just a want for something new, I just do it. I’m always on Instagram or some other site where I see nothing but pictures of women all day and I slowly start liking all their pics, they’ll like mine, then starts the DMing, and eventually turns into, 'Oh let’s just chill and smoke,' and then the rest is history. I don’t enjoy doing it, and since my most recent breakup (due to cheating) I’ve been trying to avoid relationships for this reason. I really hope it’s just a phase or something because it honestly scares me that I’ll just never be faithful. So I guess I never answered your question because I don’t really know. It just happens."


37. I’m afraid that she’ll do it first.

"I’m afraid that she’ll do it first. So I do it as a sort of insurance that if something goes wrong or she lets me down, I can always be like, 'Yeah but I didn’t care anyway.' But I do, meh."


38. Why should I stop having sex with new people just because I have a girlfriend?

"Because why should I stop having sex with new people just because I have a girlfriend? I would say 60-70% of the guys I know have cheated. I strongly believe the other 15-20% would if they could pull it off. I also know a lot of women who have cheated multiple times on their boyfriends but not nearly as many as the men."


39. The relationship was dead in the water.

"I cheated once when I was 19. We’d been dating for almost a year. It got very serious very quickly. He wanted to talk about kids and marriage, where we would live after graduation. We fought about this quite a lot because I felt we were too young and too far away from those things to talk about them. He’d picked out names and wedding venues. He was very introverted, I’m very extroverted. Over time we just stopped going places or talking about anything besides TV shows to watch that night. The relationship was dead in the water, but he was such a sweet guy and he worshiped me. I couldn’t quite pull away because there was nothing really wrong. I’d been in a miserably abusive relationship prior to this so in my mind if he wasn’t hitting me or screaming at me, the relationship was great and I needed to buck up and deal.

I spent the summer traveling around and interning for an NGO, and then one day while laughing and talking with friends over breakfast, it hit me: I was feeling happy. And I had not felt this happy in a long time. This weird glow-y, free feeling was because for the first time in months I was actually enjoying my life.

I kind of glossed over the realization. I had a loving boyfriend back at home who was ready to put a ring on it and call it a day at a moment's notice. I decided I just needed to see him again and I’d feel better. We’d work it out and go on.

Then to celebrate at the end of our trip we went dancing—and rum happened. And not a little rum. The quantity of rum that makes you beg for the sweet embrace of death the next day. A guy on our trip and I started dancing and one thing led to another. We didn’t have sex, thankfully. But we were making out pretty hot and heavy for a while. The next day I knew that I’d crossed a line and I felt awful. But I also felt all this clarity. Not only did that relationship need to end, I didn’t even feel sad that it was ending. I didn’t love him anymore. We were never going to work out and I’d let it go on too long as it was.

So when I got back to town, I went to his house and explained all that to him in person. Not the cheating, but what led to it. He wanted to jump behind that white picket fence so badly and keep me as close to home as possible, and unfortunately it took me doing something I said I’d never do to realize how much I resented that plan."

WinedUpDoll  TC mark

The Top 10 Defining Traits Of An Empath

Posted: 18 Jan 2017 05:30 PM PST

Léa Doubedut
Léa Doubedut

The trademark of an empath is that they feel and absorb other people's emotions and/or physical symptoms because of their high sensitivities. They filter the world through their intuition and have a difficult time intellectualizing their feelings.

As a psychiatrist and empath myself, I know the challenges of being a highly sensitive person. When overwhelmed with the impact of stressful emotions, empaths can have panic attacks, depression, chronic fatigue, food, sex and drug binges, and many physical symptoms that defy traditional medical diagnosis.

But an empath doesn't have to feel too much and be overloaded once they learn how to center themselves. The first step is to acknowledge that you are an empath. Here are the top 10 traits of an empath from my book, The Empath’s Survival Guide. See if you can relate to them.

1. Empaths are highly sensitive.

Empaths are naturally giving, spiritually open, and good listeners. If you want heart, empaths have got it. Through thick and thin, they're there for you, world-class nurturers. But they can easily have their feelings hurt. Empaths are often told that they are "too sensitive" and need to toughen up.

2. Empaths absorb other people's emotions.

Empaths are highly attuned to other people's moods, good and bad. They feel everything, sometimes to an extreme. They take on negativity such as anger or anxiety which is exhausting. If they are around peace and love, their bodies take these on and flourish.

3. Many empaths are introverted.

Empaths become overwhelmed in crowds, which can amplify their empathy. They tend to be introverted and prefer one to one contact or small groups. Even if an empath is more extroverted they prefer limiting how much time they can be in a crowd or at a party.

4. Empaths are highly intuitive.

Empaths experience the world through their intuition. It is important for them to develop their intuition and listen to their gut feelings about people. This will help empaths find positive relationships and avoid energy vampires.

5. Empaths need alone time.

As super-responders, being around people can drain an empath so they periodically need alone time to recharge their batteries. Even a brief escape prevents emotionally overload. Empaths like to take their own cars when they go places so they can leave when they please.

6. Empaths can become overwhelmed in intimate relationships.

Too much togetherness can be difficult for an empath so they may avoid intimate relationships. Deep down they are afraid of being engulfed and losing their identity. For empaths to be at ease in a relationship, the traditional paradigm for being a couple must be re-defined.

7. Empaths are targets for energy vampires.

An empath's sensitivity makes them particularly easy marks for energy vampires, whose fear or rage can sap their energy and peace of mind. Vampires do more than drain an empath's physical energy. The especially dangerous ones such as narcissists (they lack empathy and are only concerned with themselves) can make them believe they're unworthy and unlovable. Other vampires include The Victim, The Chronic Talker, The Drama Queen and more.

8. Empaths become replenished in nature.

The busyness of ever day life can be too much for an empath. The natural world nourishes and restores them. It helps them to release their burdens and they take refuge in the presence of green wild things, the ocean or other bodies of water.

9. Empaths have highly tuned senses.

An empath's nerves can get frayed by noise, smells, or excessive talking.

10. Empaths have huge hearts but sometimes give too much.

Empaths are big-hearted people and try to relieve the pain of others. A homeless person holding a cardboard sign, “I’m hungry” at a busy intersection; a hurt child; a distraught friend. It’s natural to want to reach out to them, ease their pain. But empaths don’t stop there. Instead, they take it on. Suddenly they’re the one feeling drained or upset when they felt fine before.

As an empath myself, I use many strategies to protect my sensitivities such as fierce time management, setting limits and boundaries with draining people, meditation to calm and center myself, and going out into nature. Being an empath is a gift in my life but I had to learn to take care of myself. Empaths have special needs. It's important to honor yours and communicate them to loved ones. TC mark

Winning The Lottery Changes Less Than You’d Think — 5 Things I Learned After My Parents Won Big

Posted: 18 Jan 2017 05:16 PM PST


Alright. So many of you are going to begin reading this and think to yourselves, holy sh*t. How is this spoilt, rich b*tch complaining about her parents winning the lottery? Well, you're right. I'm spoiled. But I've always been spoiled. I'm an only child, and my parents tried for 15 years to have me! I am their miracle, and ever since the day I came into this world, I have been spoiled. The lottery money has not changed anything regarding that.

Full disclosure, I am no writer. Especially one that has had anything published before. However, after reflecting on the past year and how my life has changed since the winnings, I can say that I am still a shitty writer. But a confident shitty writer at that. Money has given me a new perspective on "putting myself out there." If I write something based on my "new-and-improved-life" and send it to be published, what is the worst that can happen? It doesn't get published? That just leaves me back where I started before I started writing this shitty writing. So please excuse my writing.

There have been many quarter life crises happening, considering I turned the big 25 this year, so it is technically allowed, even though my parents did win the lottery and all. And so, whenever I find myself in a crisis, I find it easy to blabber on and write about it! So here it goes.

1. Money doesn't change people, it just enhances the flaws that people already have.

My mom loves buying coats. It is her biggest flaw, and ever since I can remember, her closet has always been at least half filled with coats. Now, my mom has even more coats. Her addiction to buying coats has really spiraled out of control. And her closet isn't half filled with coats anymore, because she has more than one closet now, so her growing collection can continue to grow. The point I'm trying to make here, is that when my mom used to get her Christmas bonus every year, she would always spend it on a new coat. Now, she just has more money, and every day is Christmas bonus time, so she can buy more than one new coat. For all those math nerds out there that missed the point of me rambling, 1 coat for every $200 is equal to 3 coats for every $600. Or is it? I don't know, I suck at math.

2. Money doesn't change the fact that I'm still perpetually single.

For some reason, when my parents won the lottery, I immediately thought that boys would be flocking towards me. Even if they were using me for my new found money, I was cool with that, because hey, who doesn't love attention from people that have rejected you in the past? I had this vision of me walking into a bar, and super sexy men just seeing my winnings written on my face, without me even telling them. Well, I can clarify that at first, this was definitely the case. However, it was very short lived. People get over it. Which brings me to my next point…

3. Money doesn't result in long-lived happiness.

Now here comes the part where if you're reading it you're going to be really judgmental. You're probably thinking to yourself, "if this was me, and my parents won the lottery, damn right I would wake up with a big smile on my face every single morning." This statement was true for the first couple months. Every morning, I did wake up, without a doubt, feeling like I was dreaming. I couldn't even begin to comprehend that I was lucky enough to quit a job that I hated, and travel for as long as I wanted. The sad reality of it is that, money does run out. I began to lose that feeling of having a purpose in life. And now, I have found myself back in school, completing a Masters degree in teaching. Because, (insert cheesy line here), having an education is a richness that lasts longer than money.

4. Money changes the little things in life, but not the big ones.

Full disclosure here, if someone asked me if I could go back in time and change the numbers on my dad's lottery card so that he didn't win, would I do it? HELL NO. Money does change the little things in life. To my friends that have not treated me differently since the lottery winning, I am now able to treat them for a beer, because I have that extra beer money now. Remember how I said that my mom loves buying coats? Well I love buying flowers. Now, I am able to buy flowers for myself at the store (because I'm perpetually single and I don't need a man to buy me flowers) instead of rummaging through a stranger's garden for free flowers. Totally kidding I never used to do that…but what I'm trying to say here is now I buy more flowers. And buy more beer for my friends. But you can also do that too! Even if your parents don't win the lottery! Because flowers and beer really aren't that expensive.

5. Money has taught me that you can't win if you don't try.

Lastly, my parents winning the lottery does make (some) people jealous. Overall, I would say that the majority of the reactions from family and friends have been positive. Celebrations occurred, and my family felt an overload of support. However, there are a few sour apples in every bunch that just can't get over the fact that they weren't the ones who won the lottery. I do realize that my family is astronomically lucky for this to have happened to us, and statistics show that for $5 you're buying a one in 28 633 528 chance at winning at least $15 million. That's not a high chance.

However, my father has been buying lottery tickets for his entire life. He has been dedicated to this low-level gambling problem for about 50 years now. Those that did react in an unfavorable way towards my parents' winnings, or maybe even felt a hint of jealousy towards my family should remind yourself that you can't win if you don't try. You can't have an article published if you don't write…even if you are a shitty writer. How are you ever supposed to win the lottery if you don't buy a ticket? TC mark

*I said go out and buy a ticket. Meaning one ticket. Meaning don't take all of your life savings and go out and buy all the lottery tickets.
*Even though I don't have to, I am currently working at a thai restaurant as a waitress because waitressing is fun and I love it!

I Decided To Start Actually Taking Care Of My Skin After 15 Years Of Terrible Acne, And Here’s What’s Actually Worked

Posted: 18 Jan 2017 05:13 PM PST

I have a confession to make, internet.

After years of writing online, a couple of books that detail some of the more personal parts of my life, going viral, doing Facebook Lives, and everything in between, I’ve still never been as vulnerable online as I’m about to be. This article is about to be the scariest thing I’ve ever posted, the most raw, the most honest, and reveal my maybe, number one insecurity to the masses.

I am about to show you all pictures of myself with no makeup, no filters, and no retouching.

But let’s back up.

Talking about skincare, beauty regimes, and makeup in general is something that is either SUPER fun for you, or something you completely dread.

For me, I was in the latter half for a long time.

And that, friends, (I’m going to call you friends, pals, buddies, comrades etc for the rest of this article to make myself feel better about what I’m about to show you. Deal with it.) is because since I was about 12/13, I have had really terrible, awful, no good, very bad skin.

My first memory of acne is when I was about 12. I was in a school play and my mom was helping me apply my makeup prior to the show starting and I had a massive, angry zit right on the bridge of my nose. Now to me, this was slightly embarrassing, but I was a preteen and a tomboy and frankly, didn’t really care. But then, all of a sudden, my mom started to squeeze my nose between her two index fingers.

“What are you doing?!” I remember yanking back and looking at my throbbing nose in the mirror.

“You have a pimple,” my mom explained calmly, tissue in one hand and a makeup sponge in the other. “I’m trying to get it to pop so it won’t be as big.”

What followed for the next 15 years was an all out battle between me, myself, and my skin. To give you an idea of what I’m working with, this is me:

Instagram Photo

This photo is also filtered and retouched, unlike the rest will be. Just wait.

I am super pale, have pores that suck everything up, have oily to combination skin with bouts of eczema, breakout like crazy from certain types of makeup and skincare lines, breakout during my period, am working on my struggles with dermatillomania and anxiety, wear makeup almost every day out of insecurity, and lemme tell you! It’s been a journey.

I have tried  l i t e r a l l y  everything.

Proactiv? Tried it. It took a layer off of my skin and I looked like I had suffered a chemical burn.

Birth control? Tried it. It did nothing for my skin but did kill my sex drive and make me gain 10 pounds.

Regular facials? Tried it. They absolutely are lovely and therapeutic and help but they’re expensive and not regularly maintainable.

Every drugstore product under the sun? TRIED EM TRIED EM TRIED EM.

At this point I bet you’re probably wondering,

“Hey Kendra, why didn’t you just go to a dermatologist?”

And fair question, bud! I did. But for as shitty as my skin was, it was never cystic (thank gawd), and never bad enough that I reached the point of wanting to pump my body full of medicine for something that arguably could be cured with the right skincare regime. There are crazy side effects with medication, and if they could be ultimately avoidable, I would very much like to avoid them.

So! That brings us here.

In 2017 I set out to actually, for the first time in over a decade, really truly take care of my skin. I consulted with my friend Cristina (a literal goddess with no visible pores who also has a great Twitter account – follow her), a super sweet lady at the downtown Seattle Sephora named Eileen, and some lovely people at Sunday Riley who had some great suggestions. And with that dove headfirst into the skincare swimming pool.

And here’s how it’s going and what I’ve been using.

Buckle up kids, it’s going to be a bumpy (pun intended) ride.

Disclaimer: THIS POST IS NOT SPONSORED. Every product in this post I purchased myself. I am not being paid to tell you about this stuff. I just like these things, and I’m starting to feel okay about my skin like Anna from Frozen said, for the first time in forever.

What I’m Using That Has Worked


Soy Face Cleanser by Fresh


Fresh’s products are lovely. That’s the best way to describe them. They’re all natural, suuuuuper gentle (which is a MUST for sensitve skin like mine that panics at the sight of too thick a moisturizer), and remind me of what I would envision throwback skincare to be like. The Soy Cleanser is gentle enough that it doesn’t shock my skin in the morning, but still does enough that I feel like I’m getting a good cleanse in the AM, and will dissolve anything that held on overnight. It’s not a super frothy cleanser, which took some getting used to, but I really like it. I also like to (as I have found out) keep a travel sized version in my purse when I’m flying so I can wash the recycled air and neighbor breath off of my face when I’m flying. This is my morning cleanser or my “just need a refresh” cleanser.

Checks and Balances by Origins


I’m SUCH an Origins fan. I feel like their products actually do what they say they’re going to do and come at a pretty reasonable and fair price point. Checks and Balances was my go to even when my skincare regime was “wash face, go to bed” and that was it. It’s thick, it’s creamy, it gets all of my makeup off. It leaves my skin feeling exceptionally clean, which is what I want from a cleanser. I absolutely recommend this. Keep it in your shower or just around. It’s my must have. I use this at night before everything else to give my skin a great clean before diving in with anything else and honestly, I would be hard pressed to find another staple cleanser. I love it that much. I cut my last bottle of this open to scrape the rest out. Seriously. Not exaggerating. With scissors and everything.

Ceramic Slip by Sunday Riley

Sunday Riley
Sunday Riley

I’ll be honest, I wasn’t sold on this cleanser at first. It’s a very slippery, almost watery consistency and it doesn’t take makeup off as well as I would have expected from a $45 cleanser. BUT, that being said, it is a life saver when I’m breaking out. The clay works its way into your pores and helps with angry spots and reduces them almost overnight. That’s no joke. After getting all of my makeup off when I’m having a tougher day or week, I wash my face with this at night and it helps immensely.

Serums, Creams, and Oils

Good Genes by Sunday Riley

Sunday Riley
Sunday Riley

So if you want to know what’s been saving my skin, it’s this. Does it smell like a dentist office? Little bit. Does it make me cry when I have to buy a new bottle? Yep, sure does. But does it work? 100% absolutely no questions asked. Good Genes is solely responsible for helping to fade the marks that every zit leaves behind on my skin, helping my skin retain elasticity, making my overall complexion brighter, and so much more. I am just mad at myself for not biting the bullet and trying this stuff sooner. It is basically gold in a bottle. My skin is sensitive, like I mentioned, so I only use this once per day. I like to use it in the mornings, but may try it at night for a week to see how it goes. But regardless, this is a new staple for me. HIGHLY RECOMMEND.

Luna by Sunday Riley

Sunday Riley
Sunday Riley

The idea of putting OIL on my already OILY face honestly made me want to vomit. I initially just got a tester of this because I was certain it would make me breakout like crazy and force me to rethink all of my life choices. And at first…well, it did. As with any other major skincare regime shifts there was an “it gets worse before it gets better” period that made me so frustrated I cried. But then seemingly in a matter of days, it got better. Now at night when I put on Luna I can feel my skin cells rolling around like they’re in a rap video being rained on and bathing in it. My skin drinks this stuff up and is so so grateful.

Pep-Start by Clinique


I am 27, okay? Even thought I don’t fully know what eye cream does and thankfully don’t really deal with puffiness and dark circles, I should still be using it…right? Anyway, Clinique products have always been around me since I was little (my mom was a big fan) so I’ve been giving this a try for the last few weeks. And honestly, I like it! It gives me a little bit more of that “I’m up!” look in the morning, which is what I assume eye cream is supposed to do.


Cosmetic Warrior by Lush


If you aren’t impressed with the smells from Good Genes, you’re really not going to be into this mask. Comprised of garlic, eggs, honey, and tea tree oil, she’s not exactly the belle of the ball. The consistency is real funky, the smell is bizarre, and it can leave a film on your face if you don’t rinse thoroughly enough. BUT I have it in my fridge at. all. times. Because it works. Garlic and tea tree oil are natural bacteria fighters and cleansers, while the eggs and honey don’t leave your face so dry that you feel like you’re in a desert. It works. Your face is happier after using it. Plain and simple.

Ten-Minute Rescue Mask by Origins 


I have never met a zit this couldn’t punch in its zit face. What I mean by that is that I have never used a mask that so effectively calmed and healed trouble areas. Not Proactiv, not pure tea tree oil, nothing. I leave this on while watching YouTube videos on trouble areas or while I’m soaking in a bath and then just rinse before finishing my night routine with Good Genes and Luna. It’s ridiculously effective. I will absolutely always have this on hand at all times moving forward.

TonyMoly ‘I’m Real’ Sheet Masks


Sheet masks are admittedly, kind of weird. You sit there looking like Leatherface for 20/30, and leave with some goo still there only to pat it in? Like I said, weird. But they’re so hydrating, and can be basically customizable based on what skin issues you’re looking to solve. My favorite thing about the TonyMoly pack is that there’s a mask in there for anything. Breakouts? Check. Just need some extra hydration? Check. Pore shrinking? Check. Plus they’re really cheap. I like to toss them in the fridge for a little cooling action on top of the mask. Super ~* luxurious. *~

Face Wipes

Sephora Collection Wipes in Rose


Not gonna lie, I tried REALLY HARD to stick to a strict skin care regime for almost 2 months. But I like wine, and I stay out late sometimes, and sometimes I just binge TV shows and don’t WANT to do 4 steps before sliding back into bed. In the past? I would’ve paid for that by having 6 new zits by morning. But these wipes are actually incredible. They cleanse without drying, they brighten and hydrate, and they didn’t cause me to breakout. I have a pack on my nightstand, in my bathroom, and in my bag. I love them.

And On The Next Page We Have The Unfiltered Results!

How To Tell If You’re Falling For A Fuckboy

Posted: 18 Jan 2017 05:00 PM PST

Fineas Anton
Fineas Anton

Sometimes life is hard. I get it. You’re lonely and you’ve acquired one too many cats. Then suddenly this mostly-good-looking, seemingly-nice guy wanders into your life and BAM! You start falling hard. But be wary my lady-friends, for he could be a fuckboy. Here are some helpful identifiers:

1. He only wants to see you after dark.

Dinner dates are all well and good, but if he only wants to see you after the sun goes down, he probably only has one end game. And it involves nudity. And you probably being mostly unfulfilled at the end of the night. So make sure to order that steak at dinner, girl, so at least your belly will be happy.

2. He sends you really romantic texts….at 2am.

My mom always told me that nothing good ever happens after midnight. So those seemingly-sweet texts that he sends you that late at night means he’s probably drunk and really horny- and he’s hoping he said just the right thing to get you to come over.

3. He ignores you when you’re around his friends.

I get it, we all need friend time, and sometimes you forget about the odd person out…but that odd person out shouldn’t be your beau. If he acts like you aren’t there when you happen to hang with him and his friends, run screaming.

4. He’s show-offy around your friends.

Dimwitted men think that beating their chest (showing off) is a good way to attract mates. If he does that crap around  your ladies- you’re falling for a fuckboy.

5. He apologizes way too much.

It’s sweet when a guy says sorry for being a douchebag- which everyone is every now and then. But if he is doing it all the time- he clearly just wants to make sure he still has you wrapped around his finger until he gets bored.

6. His personality changes a few weeks in.

He’s super sweet and caring for the first few weeks. He texts back right away. Makes sure you know how much he likes you. Then all of a sudden he gets distant. And you allow it because he started out so great. So it must be a phase right? Nope. He’s a fuckboy. (And a manipulative prick.) You give him space, and run to him when he calls all because you hold out hope that things will go back to how they were at the beginning. *SPOILERS* They won’t. He’ll ghost. And you’ll be left with six more cats* to fill the void he left. TC mark

22 Things That Happen When An Empath Falls In Love With A Narcissist

Posted: 18 Jan 2017 04:00 PM PST


1. The empath enters the relationship wanting deep, unconditional love. The empath is attracted to the narcissist, and feels their need for affection is being met even if the narcissist isn’t doing anything to develop the connection. The empath feels fulfilled and “in love” just from being around them.

2. The empath begins to believe that they have a “once in a lifetime” kind of connection with the narcissist, and the narcissist affirms it – what they have is special. This is what makes it seem impossible to just walk away.

3. The narcissist can, at times, seem to want the relationship as much as the empath does. In reality, the narcissist wants nothing but constant validation, and someone who is always willing to give it is a perfect match.

4. Over time, the empath will be made to feel incompetent. Even if not stated directly, the narcissist will imply that they have the power by saying they “don’t want to hurt” them, or by looking down on their interests, or maybe not letting them handle the day-to-day bills or anything else that’s a symbol of control. This will leave the empath feeling reliant on the narcissist, believing that they “need” them, or at least that nobody else would want them.

5. As their bond grows, the empath will find it unbearable to see the narcissist in any kind of pain. They will want nothing more than to talk to them, help them, cheer them up… do whatever it takes so they can feel better again. They subconsciously want to “fix” the narcissist, or at least change their lives.

6. What the empath does not realize is that the feeling or idea of healing their partner’s deepest, most unresolvable wounds, feels the same to them as healing their own. However, it is not the same thing.

7. Somewhere along the line, the empath begins to feel afraid to advocate for their true needs – it is more appealing to them to remain more likable (but secretly less happy).

8. The more love, care, devotion, affection and work the empath puts into making the relationship work, the more powerful the narcissist becomes. At this point, it can be difficult to see that there are any real issues in the relationship… that is, until the empath reaches their breaking point.

9. Eventually, the empath begins to adopt the traits of the narcissist. Because their emotional needs are not being met (and they’ve been confusing their partner’s emotional needs with their own) they start to seem “selfish,” or at least predominantly concerned with their own well-being. They are essentially declaring: “My feelings matter,” and the narcissist does not like this.

10. What neither party realizes at this point is that the narcissist’s needs will never actually be met (that is, until *they* wake up and choose to meet them). They will move on to other partners, other hobbies, other big business ideas and creative pursuits, travels across the world… and they’ll still be as miserable as ever.

11. The narcissist will make the empath feel “crazy” for responding the way they are. They will say they are being over-dramatic, and that their concerns are unfounded. This kind of dismissal is the most obvious way they exert power and mind-control over the empath.

12. The empath begins to blame themselves. They start to wonder if they’ll ever be worthy of love, or what it is they did that got them into such a horrible situation.

13. What the empath does not realize is that there’s nothing *wrong* with them, there’s something exceptionally *right* with them, they were just manipulated and used and lied to. They have a feeling capacity that outshines many other people’s – this isn’t a bad thing, it’s just something that must be protected.

14. Even if the empath tries to communicate authentically with the narcissist, it will be to no avail. They will be deflective and use shoddy logic, they’ll make excuses and find ways to pass the blame, if not convince the empath that it’s at least partially also their fault.

15. At this point, the empath will have to do some serious self-evaluation. They’ll be left no choice. They’ll recognize what happened in the past that led them to be so defenseless, and it will be the beginning of their transformation.

16. The empath will always identify as a “healer,” and in finding their inner strength, they will likely focus on their life’s mission of helping other people in healthy, constructive ways (perhaps through a job or calling).

17. The empath must realize that not everyone you fall in love with can be trusted. Not everyone has the same intentions they do, and not everyone thinks they way they do.

18. The empath must also realize that they were just as wounded as the narcissist was – and that the point of their relationship was a teaching opportunity, a moment for them both to wake up and see how they must heal themselves. (The empath will come around, the narcissist usually doesn’t.)

19. The empath will consider the experience a painful catalyst of their awakening.

20. The narcissist will carry on acting as though nothing’s wrong and as though nothing happened. They will deny and almost seem to “forget” about the intense, powerful connection they once had with someone, and they will go pursue it elsewhere. After a bit of time, their issues will come to a head, and they’ll have to cope with the fact that they can’t connect with themselves, let alone other people.

21. The narcissist will walk away looking for their next victim.

22. The empath will walk away wiser, stronger and more careful about who they give their time, energy, love and life too. TC mark

Brianna Wiest is the author of 101 Essays That Will Change The Way You Think, available here.


Here’s How You Deal With Heartbreak, Based On Your Zodiac Sign

Posted: 18 Jan 2017 03:00 PM PST



(March 21st to April 19th)

You operate by the “out of sight, out of mind” mentality. Meaning, you keep yourself as busy as possible so you don’t dwell.


(April 20th to May 21st)

You keep things to yourself. Even though you’re hurting, it’ll be hard to tell to the outside world. You seem like everything is fine, but are emotionally reeling on the inside.


(May 22nd to June 21st)

You fluctuate. Some days, you act like it’s not a big deal at all and you’re better off. Others, you’re angry and keep talking about how much your ex is gonna regret breaking your heart.


(June 22nd to July 22nd)

You’re an incredibly sensitive soul, so heartbreak deeply affects you. You seek comfort in your friends and probably listen to a lot of Adele.


(July 23rd to August 22nd)

Heartbreak is doubly upsetting to you because you hate when your pride takes a blow. You’ll look for someone hotter to have rebound sex with.


(August 23rd to September 22nd)

You are highly critical and have probably been expecting to be let down in some way for a while. To you, heartbreak just seems like an inevitable outcome when two people become seriously involved.


(September 23rd to October 22nd)

The master when it comes to balance, you do equal parts crying and healing things, like yoga or journaling.


(October 23rd to November 22nd)

You don’t get heartbroken. You break hearts.


(November 23rd to December 21st)

You’ll be sad for a bit, but bounce back pretty quickly. You enjoy your independence and know there are plenty of other fish in the sea.


(December 22nd to January 20th)

You’ll wallow for a bit, but not in any dramatic way. You give yourself permission to be disappointed for a short period of time and then fully commit to moving forward.


(January 21st to February 18th)

You’re a bit of a mystery. You usually don’t develop super deep feeling for people so heartbreak for you is rarely as intense as it is for other signs.


(February 19th to March 20th)

You write so many poems. TC mark

This Is What Concealed Anxiety Actually Feels Like (Because It’s Probably Not What You Think)

Posted: 18 Jan 2017 02:00 PM PST

Concealed anxiety. You can’t see it. You can’t touch it. You can’t smell it. But you can feel it on every inch of your body.

It comes out from hiding when you least expect it. It’s a ghost that you never invited inside your brain. It’s a skeleton in your closet, that won’t go away no matter how many times you smash it to pieces. It’s a monster under your bed, who comes out to play at the worst possible moments.

It can even show up in your dreams, taunting you and telling you that you aren’t enough. It whispers to you as you fall asleep saying, ‘You are a fuck up. No one likes you anyway, so you might as well stop trying‘.

And as soon as you open up eyes to greet the new day, there it is again. Showing up inside your head, making your mind spin in a million different directions. It makes you want to sleep. It makes you want to hide away. It makes you want to stop trying, because what’s the point, right?

Concealed anxiety shows up through the way you grind your teeth. It shows up through the wringing of your hands, and the casual way you bite your lips so hard that they bleed. It shows up through the way you tap your foot almost as if it’s a dance. A dance to make it go away. A dance to try to get all those thoughts out of your head.

It shows up through a hundred questions all at once that pound at your head without warning. Am I good enough for this job? Am I good enough for him or for her? Will she ever forgive me? Is this mistake going to cost me my career? What if I never succeed? What if all I ever do is fail? 

Will I ever be enough? 

Concealed anxiety shows up through the way you have to take an extra breath of air before your morning starts. It shows up through the way you constantly yawn, in a desperate attempt to get more air into your collapsing lungs. It shows up in the weight in your chest, making you feel like an elephant is standing on your heart.

It creeps up to your brain, at the happiest of moments. On the most beautiful days. It can start so quietly, that it almost doesn’t exist for you. But all once, you become it’s victim. It’s prey. 

Concealed anxiety can leave from time to time. You may think it’s gone for good. You may think it will never come back, but it just might. It comes and goes in waves. Some, more powerful than others. Some quieter, more gentle.

But let me tell you, there is nothing gentle about concealed anxiety.

Concealed anxiety is viscous. Not only does it attempt to hide away in the channels of your brain for months at a time, it leaps so suddenly back into your mind and shows itself off so abruptly.

It likes to show itself through the biting of your cuticles. Through the chattering of your teeth. Through picking at your fingers and bumps on your skin. Until you bleed. Through the plucking of your eyebrow hairs and eyelashes. Through your heart rate sending you through a 26 mile marathon. Through your lungs threatening to shut down. Until all you feel like is an exhausted piece of meat.

Concealed anxiety is a ferocious animal. And just because you can’t see it so clearly. Just because you aren’t having panic attacks everyday. Just because other people don’t notice it written on your face, doesn’t mean that it’s not there. And it doesn’t mean that what you are going through, isn’t truly petrifying. TC mark