Thought Catalog


15 Students Their Craziest NSFW Experiences With Actual ~Teachers~

Posted: 20 Jan 2017 08:00 PM PST

Pixabay / xusenru
Pixabay / xusenru

1. Teacher feud gets very raunchy

Anatomy teacher glued a giant rubber penis to a remote control car and then drove it down the hallway and stopped it under the really bitchy bio teacher’s skirt. He was shortly after that suspended for a month and then his classroom was moved to the opposite corner of the building.

— raeshin

2. Young teacher tried to sleep with me in locker room

My junior year of HS we had a mid 20’s female teachers-aid take over ‘teaching’ a conditioning/training class we had to take if you were on a sports team. She was only there for the last 6 weeks because the coach that taught it normally had a bypass or some kind of surgery.

After that class one time, I and two other guys stayed late on a Friday to practice in the pool while the kids swimming classes came in to use it. We were showering in the locker room after when she walked in but clearly announced herself first ‘Coming in guys, I need to get into the office’.

I didn’t think anything of it, I showered in my swimsuit but usually took it off for a final rinse briefly before grabbing a towel. A couple minutes went by and as I’m finishing my shower I looked over and through the big clear window of the office I could see she was sat at the desk working in there.

I went to get dressed when she walked over and started talking to me. Asking about my weekend, how training was going, glad to be done with the year etc etc all while I was standing there in my towel getting my clothes out of the locker. At one point I had to drop my towel and I turned away from her to put my boxers on and as I was putting my shirt on she walked over and told me ‘wow [my name] you’ll have to stay in good shape over the summer. Does your girlfriend love your abs?’ and she touched my stomach then traced a finger down one side of that ‘V’ that men get if you get pretty lean. I told her I didn’t have a girlfriend, put on my shoes without socks, grabbed my backpack and left pretty quick.

Looking back on it I’m not sure why I reacted like that. I wasn’t a virgin then and she was reasonably attractive, guess it was just weird in the moment and startled me.

— b8le

3. Gold-digging teacher making out in the woods?

A gym teacher at my high school was on Maternity leave every year or two. She had a husband and family but there were always rumours of her sleeping around the school with teachers and that she was a gold-digger though it seemed unfounded other than teenagers noticing she was pregnant a lot. (Why people thought sleeping with people that have a teacher’s salary would be considered gold digging, I have no clue)

That is until our weekend trip to a summer camp type place for a senior gym/outdoor ed trip. There was a new young male gym teacher who was filling in for a semester who was the other chaperone on the trip. We all started noticing the flirting between the two all weekend. One night after they sent us all to our cabins after the camp fire, a group of us decided to double back and see what was going on since they stayed down by the lake. Came through the trees to find her dry riding him as they made out. We all took off and made a bit of noise so we heard them stop and start whispering as we ran. This was 2 months after returning from mat leave.

— GlazedReddit

4. She wasn’t wearing a bra

Small private school, one of my classes just happened to be all guys. Had a substitute teacher one day who had a fatal combination of no bra, a loose shirt, and a habit of bending over. The camaraderie was incredible. Aside from knowing glances between us, no one said a fucking word about it until we were out.

Sorry I didn’t bang the art teacher, it’s the best I’ve got.

— PM_ME_LEFT_BOOB

5. Hot box shop

Shop Teacher was a well-known stoner and every Tuesday would get a Toonie Tuesday box from KFC and sit in his car in the back of the parking lot and munch out. If you got in his good books he would invite you up to his cottage after graduation to smoke mad weed, do shrooms, etc. and help him do renovations/projects/shop shit

— GlazedReddit

6. Teacher or wrestler?

A theater arts teacher suplexed a girl through a desk and put her in the hospital during a power outage. He was fired on drug possession charges after a drug hound found his stash.

— SheZowRaisedByWolves

7. Planted the seeds, and watched them grow

Male gym teacher at my high school was notorious for laying foundations with senior girls and had quite the reputation for building on said foundations once they graduated.

— GlazedReddit

8. Showed a teacher my tits

My favorite teacher in high school asked to see my nipple ring after I had gotten it pierced. I showed her. I got away with showing my tits a lot in high school so it was kind of my thing.

— SatanMD

9. Banging in the closet

Once of my buddies from high school nailed one of the young female E.A’s (Educational Assistants) in a closet in the special needs classroom when she was supposed to be watching over an autistic student in the next room.

— GlazedReddit

10. Principal was f*cking a student — didn’t work out

My high school principal was having an affair with a student. It was the worst kept secret, everyone knew, including the administration, and her parents, and no one seemed to really care because he didn’t get fired, just eventually reassigned to a different school.

On her 18th birthday, he served his wife with divorce papers and they got married soon after she graduated. That was about 14 or so years ago, last I heard they’re now divorced too, seems he traded her in for a younger model.

— t-poke

11. Asking my coach for advice on how to not get hard

9th grade english teacher/wrestling coach. My crush started practicing with the team few days a week, despite me being a heavy weight and her being like a 105 he has me practice with her. After a couple of weeks I was getting to my limit of thing to think about to not pop wood and stopped by his office at lunch for a chat about about it.

His first suggestion was have you tried jacking off. Then immediately backing off that because at my age it wouldn’t matter I could get it up again in a few seconds anyways. He said all this while laughing and started laughing harder when I said it was the first thing I tried. We then had a serious discussion about there were reason she was with us that he couldn’t go into but the reason why he put her with me is he knew we were friendly, and he would trust me with his daughter so he knew he could trust me with her. In today’s day and age I just can’t imagine a teacher feeling comfortable enough to suggest jacking off to a student as a viable solution to a problem or just mentioning it at all.

— tdasnowman

12. Sexy party with teachers

Party with some teachers involved. Lots of alcohol. (Not yet openly) Gay teacher hugs me and comes out. Shows me pics of him and his boyfriend in bed. Later he has to pee and pulls out his dick in front of me and my friends. Luckily (I guess) he was still in his 20s and good-looking. So we didn’t want to rip our eyes out.

Although it was tough being serious around him after that little… Incident. Fast forward in the evening. Another teacher shows me a pic of his wife’s tits and asks me whether they look normal. … I suppose, man?

— Emumo

13. Principal’s wife having sexy times with minor student

Our school football coaches (and consequently our entire town) found out the principal’s wife was banging a minor in his own home. She also happened to be the mayor. What made it worse is that I even heard the student bragging about it in my Spanish class (it’s how the football coaches originally heard about it), as the case was being investigated.

They even had a slot on 20/20 where she even said “it’s kind of like when a kid keeps asking for candy, eventually you just give it to them.” (I’d find a link but I’m at work and too lazy.)

I felt the most for the principal. He is a genuinely nice guy, who already had a poor history with spouses. His previous one was also discovered to have been cheating on him back in the early 90’s or something. Now he had to go through the whole thing again with one kid with Downs Syndrome, and another who was just starting college. It’s a real rough life.

She ended up making a big deal (which made the news) about not being able to go to her daughters swim meets, which on one hand is like “oh yeah that sucks, your kid might want you there” but on the other is “except you can’t go for the exact reason that the last time you were around high schoolers there was a problem”.

— americansomnium

14. Teacher put gay porn on his iPad

One of my brother’s teacher filled his tablet (gave by the school) with hardcore gay porn. My brother and his friends found it one day, when they (wrongfully and without permission) messed with his tablet during recreation time. The school kept it cool and just told him to delete it, but he resigned after weeks worth of jokes.

I feel bad for him.

— TommyLindo

15. Handy from teacher

We had a “sport-day” (i don’t know if other countries do this too) and i was too late, so my hot gym teacher had to drive me to the place. She noticed that i kept looking at her so she asked me if i wanted something. I said “nothing”. She then just stopped the car and gave me a handjob. It was also my first experience with a woman.

SamirdeWit TC mark

Here’s What Happened When I Slept With My Best Friend

Posted: 20 Jan 2017 07:00 PM PST

Hernan Sanchez
Hernan Sanchez

Neither of us intended for it to happen.

Katie had been my best friend since childhood. It was a friendship first orchestrated by our parents. We ran around in our diapers and watched Barney, or whatever it is you do when you’re a very small human. We attended each other’s birthday parties and continued having playdates, even when we learned about cooties.

I don’t remember a time in my life when Katie wasn’t part of it.

There’s this thing that happens when you’re a heterosexual guy and one of your closest friends is a girl: you think about fucking her.

I know that sounds gross. Sometimes we men are gross. It doesn’t mean you ever act on it. It also doesn’t mean you aren’t capable of a genuine friendship. But yes, it’s something that you think about at least once. It’ll cross your mind.

The first time I looked at Katie differently was during puberty. I could blame the hormones, but Katie’s also just an obscenely beautiful person. And not just physically. Katie is kind and sweet and everything that equates to perfect Girl Next Door.

But she was my best friend and any inappropriate thoughts I had I learned to control. That’s just what you do when you have a super hot friend. You train yourself to not focus on the hotness.

I was sort of the Gordo to her Lizzie McGuire.

Yeah, I thought she was cute, but most importantly, she was my friend. We survived high school together. Instead of attending our prom, we held our own very 90s movie inspired Anti-Prom Prom. She wore all black and I wore my converse. We ate popcorn and watched shitty movies all night. It was perfect. I couldn’t have imagined a better night.

When it was time for college, we landed at schools in different time zones. I was accepted to NYU and she went to The University of Texas at Austin. It was the first time we’d been apart for that length of time. We promised to stay in touch and Facetime and text. But college happens and we got sucked into our new lives.

The contact became less frequent. We weren’t talking on the phone anymore. It was a ‘like’ here or there. Someone would send a text about something crazy that happened, but the conversation would quickly fizzle out.

During our sophomore year, we were both home for winter vacation. The previous year she’d gone away with her family and spent the summer break in a study abroad program. We’d barely seen each other since leaving for college. But we were both home for a month at the same time so she texted me about catching up. I picked her up from the airport and was pleasantly surprised at how quickly we fell back into a familiar pattern. It was like no time had passed. She was still the same Katie that had been my best friend my whole life.

One night, whatever was left of our group of high school friends congregated in our stoner friend Paul’s garage. His parents were always pretty lax about what we did and unless something was on fire didn’t even check in. Katie made everyone screwdrivers and we spent the night reminiscing and being obnoxious.

By 3 am, people were starting to fall asleep or call Ubers to go home. Despite being bartender for the night, Katie wasn’t drinking. Her mom was a recovering alcoholic so Katie preferred to stay sober. I was a shade under tipsy. Wouldn’t have driven but definitely wasn’t drunk. Katie offered to drive me home.

During the drive, she told me about a guy she met in one of her classes. They’d apparently hooked up a few times and she liked him, but wasn’t really sure what he felt. I gave her my standard advice (“Guys are terrible, don’t trust them”) and she laughed.

“Why can’t they all be like you?”

I don’t know if it was all the time away from each other or the fact that I’d been awake for nearly 24 hours, but I couldn’t stop imagining what it would be like to kiss her. She has these heart shaped lips that always form such a perfect pout. I wondered if they were soft. I could kiss her gently. I could slam her against the wall, if that’s what she wanted.

A mile or so from my house, Katie suddenly veered left. To get to my house, you go right. I asked if she forgot where she was going.

She shot me back this smile I hadn’t seen from her before. Never intended for me, that is. If I didn’t know any better, I would have thought she was flirting with me. And turns out, she was.

She pulled over on a street that dead ends. There weren’t any streetlights and I assumed everyone in the nearby houses were sleeping, so it was practically total darkness. We were both silent.

I wanted to kiss her and had she been anyone else, I would have made my move instantly. But this was Katie. The girl I had sleepovers with when I was nine and brought me soup and the homework I missed when I was out of school for a month with mono. This was Katie.

I awkwardly fumbled and started talking Netflix’s TV model and how eventually cable will be a thing of the past because apparently that was worthy of mentioning?? But Katie stepped in. She kissed me. And I kissed her back. It went from there.

I’ll spare you the details because hooking up in a car is never as sexy as it’s advertised to be. But there was something undeniable about it: Katie and I had something. Whatever our relationship had been, well, it was different now.

I could tell you about what happened after. I could tell you about the nervous giggling and the week of pretending nothing happened. I could tell you about going back to college and missing her. I could tell you about the phone call at midnight. I could tell you about deciding we were going to visit each other. I could tell you about flying to see her in Texas. I could tell you about the confessions and the kissing and the sex in places that weren’t cars. But that would take far too long. And you’re not interested in hearing years worth of stories.

But what I will tell you? Katie and I effectively ruined our platonic friendship that night.

Because we’re getting married this summer. TC mark

35 People Share Hilarious True Stories About The Time Things Went WAY Wrong During Sex

Posted: 20 Jan 2017 06:00 PM PST

Illustration by Daniella Urdinlaiz
Illustration by Daniella Urdinlaiz
Found on AskReddit.

1. Middle of sex this girl goes, 'I can’t believe I’m cheating on my boyfriend for this.'

"One night stand in college. Middle of sex this girl goes, 'I can’t believe I’m cheating on my boyfriend for this.' That put a damper on things."
datboitaw


2. She looks up and says 'Have I ever told you how much you remind me of my brother?

"She’s in the middle of giving me head, pauses for a second, looks up and says 'Have I ever told you how much you remind me of my brother?' She proceeded to get very upset that I lost my boner."
dubious369


3. As I was climaxing, her Rottweiler licked my butthole.

"I was having sex with my ex-girlfriend on her parents kitchen counter and as I was climaxing, her Rottweiler licked my butthole. Buckets."
thegenuineartificial


4. She said, 'Mmmm….I’ve always wanted to fuck a black dick….' as she was on top of me. I’m a pale redhead with a red beard.

"She said, 'Mmmm….I’ve always wanted to fuck a black dick….' as she was on top of me.

I’m a pale redhead with a red beard.

She just apparently figured that moment was the perfectly right time to let me know she’s always wanted to have sex with a black guy."
JinDenver


5. He ended up yawning during his orgasm.

"A previous partner of mine was really tired while we were doing it but wasn’t really showing it until he ended up yawning during his orgasm. Never once before did I think someone would do their best Chewbacca impression to me while ejaculating."
RontoRockGirl


6. Screamed, 'make me a baby!' This was gay sex.

"Screamed, 'make me a baby!' This was gay sex."
exackerly


7. 'You want a taste of this pepperoni?' No. No, I don’t.

"Old FWB liked to dirty talk (so do I ), but in one of our sessions, he kept referring to his penis as his 'pepperoni.'

'You want a taste of this pepperoni?' No. No, I don’t.

Dried me up like the Sahara Desert."
maebytonight1


8. At the moment of mutual climax she moans out her ex’s name.

"Had to be at the moment of mutual climax she moans out her ex’s name. God, that’s a memory I wish had stayed buried.

There were tons of 'I’m sorrys' and 'I feel so bads,' etc. etc. etc. but for me it was like pulling the sword out after having not meant to run me through with it."
Otto_Maller


9. She interrupted sex to see of the old lady she was caretaking was still alive.

"One-night stand. She just stops in the middle of the act, goes to the adjacent room naked and starts yelling “Mrs X, helloo… Are you alive? Are you breathing?”. Returns promptly and continues as if nothing happened.

Turns out, she was hired to take care of an elderly woman so she could live with her rent-free.

The old lady was found dead a day or two after that."
boiler_drum


10. He screamed as loud as he could into my butthole.

"My husband spread my ass cheeks…and got face real close to my butthole and just screamed. Like screamed as loud as he could. It was so violating for a second and then i died laughing."
Purplegreen23


11. I once dated a guy who giggled when he…finished.

"I once dated a guy who giggled when he…finished. That was definitely unexpected the first time we had sex."
TheLadyInReddit


12. It was like having sex with an auctioneer.

"My girlfriend is a talker. However, at one point, mid gasping orgasm, 'I always assumed I’d have a wide variety of sexual partners but if this is what you do then I don’t see it as a high priority!' It was like having sex with an auctioneer."
thelaw316


13. She just broke down crying.

"She just broke down crying. And it wasn’t just a few tears, but a full-blown crying. I held her tight telling her if everything was alright but she still cried for the next ten minutes. This was during fairly vanilla sex and we’ve done a lot rougher BDSM stuff before so it was confusing. I asked her if she forgot her safe word: 'No.' Did I hurt you? 'No.' What made you cry? 'I don’t know.' It’s a mystery to this day and she can’t figure it out either."
badassmthrfkr


14. She was on top and we were having a really good time when she says, 'I think we’re better apart.'

"She was drunk and we had just gotten back from a party. She was on top and we were having a really good time when she says, 'I think we’re better apart.'

I completely froze and asked what she meant. She then explained why we 'work better apart' while riding my completely still and rapidly deflating penis."
AsksAmazingQuestions


15. Her mom called mid-sex.

"Her mom called mid-sex. She was expecting the call because of some family issue so when the phone rang while she was riding me, she looked at the caller ID, got off me and just said 'I have to take this, wait' (she explained after the fact who it was and why she was expecting it, on the moment it was really unexpected for me).

The call lasted around 30 minutes and we were both sitting naked on the bed, her talking about something serious to her mom and me just awkwardly there with my now flaccid penis hidden in a cold and wet condom.

After she was done, it was clear for both of us that the mood was gone but she told me 'you should have finished without me.' Yeah, I would have felt really weird jerking off right next to her while she was on the phone with her mom…"
JustJoeB


16. My tooth goes through my lip and I’m pouring blood all over us.

"I met a girl on Tinder, and we went out a few times, she was honestly amazing and I fell for her pretty hard.

The last time we saw each other, it was late, like 3 or 4AM, and we were having sex in her room. She tells me she has a fighting fetish, and asks if I’m comfortable with it. I agree and we start getting a little rough, slapping and what not.

Out of fucking no where she winds up and punches me directly in the mouth. My tooth goes through my lip and I’m pouring blood all over us.

I freak out and run into the bathroom naked and covered in blood, and run into her roommate in the hall.

They start fighting and I grab my shit and slip out. Once I get to my car she calls me saying shit like 'I thought you could handle it' and 'don’t be a pussy.'

Haven’t talked to her since.

Edit: She saw this and messaged me. Fuck."
theghostofbillcosby


17. She said to me, 'Pretend like you love me.'

"My first time with her (I had known her for all of two days), she tried to finger my butt hole, bit my dick rather hard, and said to me (as we were having sex) 'Pretend like you love me' and 'I just want to pretend like someone cares about me.'

Absolutely none of those things were turn-ons."
71704031808


18. She came really hard and then sharted.

"She came really hard as I did too, her vagina clenched really hard (that felt like heaven) which then pushed my penis out and she sharted."
viberight


19. I told my girlfriend I love her dick.

"Well it was something that I did… Was having sex with my girlfriend and I had an extreme head cold I kept saying the wrong thing all day and sneezing and all that gross shit.

But during sex she kept talking about how good my dick feels, that dirty talk kind of stuff I got close to her ear and just said in the most absolute serious tone 'I love your dick.'…She just stopped and looked at me and started bursting out laughing almost crying from how funny and serious I sounded. I sat there in disappointment of myself she just kept saying dick so the word dick came out of my mouth instead of vajayjay.

Not proud of myself.

TL;DR Told my girlfriend I love her dick.

Edit: My first majorly up voted comment thanks Reddit. And P.S. I did laugh along with her I was just dying inside as well. But it's all good now."
Cerbercre


20. One of my first girlfriends screamed 'harder daddy' in the middle of sex once. We were both women.

"One of my first girlfriends screamed 'harder daddy' in the middle of sex once.

We were both women."
partofbreakfast


21. I managed to smash her mouth off the headboard.

"When I got together with my (now ex) girlfriend we went back to hers quite drunk. In an attempt to show off my strength and sexual prowess I hoisted her up onto my face so I could eat her out and managed to smash her mouth off the headboard. Still finished tho, thank you drink."
meesterdave


22. Mid-fucking, she said 'I fucked Chris yesterday, too,' with a huge grin.

"Mid-fucking, she said 'I fucked Chris yesterday, too,' with a huge grin. I don’t think I’ve ever exited a bed that fast. She forgot that it was her /previous/ bf who was ok with her fucking other men, women etc. How one forgets that you're not with the same person, I will never know. She seemed to remember Chris from yesterday lunchtime well enough though. Epic unamused face."
hereticxander


23. The most ridiculously thunderous QUEEF you could imagine lazily spat my previous cum back into my own mouth.

"Me and my ex had been going at it for a while, I was nearly ready for round two so I thought I’d buy myself some time and go down on her quickly. As soon as my face was fucking aligned with her fanny, the most ridiculously thunderous QUEEF you could imagine lazily spat my previous cum back into my own mouth, my nose and in my eyes. Was NOT in the mood for round 2."
CoutinhoWizard


24. A fly, out of nowhere, swooped into my mouth.

"One time my fiancée was going down on me when a fly, out of nowhere, swooped into my mouth. I coughed loudly but didn’t want to ruin the mood. She looked up and saw… that I had coughed up the fly. There it was. On the side of my face, a dead fly covered in my saliva.

She started 'Wait is that a fl-' I told her 'No' and pushed her head back down.

Later, I would tell her the truth, and she found it hilarious."
MarcianTobay


25. While I was in the bathroom, he had gone to the kitchen and rubbed salmon on his dick.

"He had initiated things and I took a moment to get ready in the bathroom. He wanted to start things off with a blowjob, so I get down on my knees and pull my hair back and lean in, and it hits me. This pungent smell. I’m like 'wtf is that?' but I’m a trooper and I try to go for it anyway. But it reeks, it’s like the worst fish ever. Literally fish. Salmon. So I lean back and I’m like 'I don’t know what’s going on, but something’s wrong.' He fucking bursts out laughing and yells 'GOT YOU!!!!'

While I was in the bathroom, he had gone to the kitchen and rubbed salmon on his dick.

I still can’t even fathom why he thought that would be a good idea."
Kittybongo


26. She started choking me and telling me she hates me right after telling me she loves me.

"My GF started choking me before she came and started getting angry saying 'you fucking piece of shit, I fucking hate you.' Immediately after she told me how much she loved me. This basically became our form of conflict resolution for about a year until it got a little out of hand…"
trunamke


27. He pulled out a razor kid and wanted to do bloodletting during the middle of sex.

"I was having a one night stand with this guy from the bar. Everything was fantastic until he pulled out a razor kit and wanted to cut/do bloodletting during the middle of sex. I noped the fuck out of there."
nah_saat


28. She cuts one of the smelliest farts I’ve ever experienced

"First date. She’s kinda drunk. I am going down, just chowing her box. She cuts one of the smelliest farts I’ve ever experienced. With my nose so close to her sphincter, the 'pure vinegar' of it went straight up. It was like smelling salts, but worse. For a minute, I thought I was going to puke in a pussy. It was tough, but I powered through. Got laid."
HotKarl_Marx


29. Mid-thrust he turns to the screen and points out a continuity error on Friends.

"He and I love background noise, so we put on Friends. Something easy to ignore, or so I thought. He loves friends, can quote the show. Mid-thrust he turns to the screen and points out a continuity error. 😡"
collind8


30. I whispered the word 'squirrel' in her ear.

"Alright, this is what I did to my wife, so she did not expect it. Hope that’s OK, because it’s been years, and she is still a little pissed.

So, we are in the middle of things. Nothing crazy, missionary position, but having a good time. She’s about to orgasm, and it’s obvious. So, I get an idea, because I’m a special kind of asshole.

I keep going, and when I can tell she is just on the verge, I lean in like I’m going to kiss her neck, and whisper directly in her ear, 'squirrel.'

She is immediately 'WHAT THE FUCK?!' and pushes me off of her. Apparently, the surprise and awkward nature of the situation completely killed her 'progress,' as well as her mood. No orgasm, just confused anger.

I fully admit, I laughed my ass off, and I am a horrible person for it.

I have never done it sense. She is still a little peeved."
Mewing_Raven


31. I have never gone soft quicker in my life.

"About 8 or so years back I was a party hosted by a couple of good friends of mine. The wife of the couple tells me she wants to introduce me to her sister and heavily implies that a one night stand thing is probably on the table, so I bite and chat her up. She’s pretty cool, definitely into the one night stand thing and that's where the night heads. We are both pretty drunk in one of the spare rooms when I realize I don’t have a condom. Fuck. Her response was 'Don’t worry I’m a good mother' and tries to get on top and mount me. I have never gone soft quicker in my life. I went and slept on the floor in the living room while she passed out on a princess single bed in my shirt."
Throwawayxcore


32. The sex was going well and then the Ambien kicked in.

"My ex used to get very horny on Ambien. I would always take it as well. One time the sex was going well and then the Ambien kicked in and I forgot what we were doing while I was inside her and couldn’t make sense of what was going on and she started talking about Mickey Mouse and orange ice cream trucks. Needless to say things went from good to weird very quickly. After that first wild experience, we used to play a game where we both take like 5 and see how far we could get before everything fell apart. Had some interesting nights with her doing that."
chemicalmonkey


33. 'Oh shit my wife is home.'..I’m a guy and the chick turned out to be a lesbian.

"'Oh shit my wife is home.'..I’m a guy and the chick turned out to be a lesbian….this was years ago…definitely an experience."
jessh90


34. We both immediately realized she had also lost bowel control in the peak of the experience.

"One of my exes, years ago, was on top and REALLY feeling it. Way more than usual and usual was always impressive. She started like, spasmodically wearing it out and I watched someone literally have an eye roll back and show the whites orgasm…I was like 'I am a God' until we both immediately realized she had also lost bowel control in the peak of the experience…

So, that was an awkward shower… there was no talking. I was ready to laugh my brains out, but if I did I knew she would cry for days. Poor thing."
genmischief


35. She takes the full water bottle and pushes it deep up my butt.

"I met up for a one night stand with a girl from Tinder; we were doing some pre-sex foreplay when she stopped completely to tell me that she likes to use strap-ons. I thought OK maybe I’d like it and why not give this thing a try, I tell her I’ve never done it before. She says I’ll need to work more up to it before we try this, so in order to see if I can handle it she takes a water bottle that was nearby and instructs me to turn around. She takes the full water bottle and pushes it deep up my butt, crunching and spreading its way up there. I will never look Aquafina the same ever again."
Seany686TC mark

15 Sex Tips For Insecure Girls That Don’t Realize How Beautiful Their Bodies Are

Posted: 20 Jan 2017 05:00 PM PST

LookCatalog.com
LookCatalog.com

1. Keep a nude photo of yourself on your phone — one where your body looks highly fuckable. Glance at it before sex to remind yourself of how hot you are.

2. Pick positions that make you feel more attractive. If you’re worried about him staring at your belly, then flip over so he can fuck you doggy style. And if you don’t like your butt, then stay on your back for missionary.

3. Keep the lights off — or at least dimmed. And if you don’t have a dimmer switch, place candles around the room. It’ll create a romantic glow that’ll make your body look heavenly.

4. Focus on his body. Instead of thinking about the way your face looks, think about how his face looks. Instead of thinking about how your moans sound, focus on how his moans sound.

5. Accessorize your naked body by wearing something you won’t have to remove before sex. A necklace that’ll dangle between your breasts. Cute earrings. A choker. Something that’ll make you feel a little less naked.

6. Ease into sex. Get used to the way his hands feel over your shirt. Then under your shirt. Then when your shirt is off. Take as much time as you need.

7. When he initiates sex, playfully ask him why he wants it. Yes, you’re technically fishing for compliments. But he should be happy to list out the reasons why you look sexy and it should be a quick confidence boost for you.

8. Buy silk sheets. When your naked body is pressed up against them, you’ll automatically feel sexier.

9. Tell yourself that he’s lucky to be in bed with you. That you look like a goddess. That you’re going to make him orgasm hard. If you keep telling yourself these things, you’ll eventually start to believe them.

10. Wear lingerie. If you’re worried that your boobs are too small or stomach is too big, then the right lingerie (a babydoll) will cover up your supposed ‘problem areas.’ Besides, it’s impossible to feel ugly in lingerie.

11. Keep on as much clothing as you’d like. You don’t have to take off your shirt if you’re super self-conscious about your stomach. And if you own crotchless panties, then you don’t even need to remove your underwear, and can cover up your bikini stubble.

12. Put on background music that makes you feel empowered. Attractive. Sexy as all hell.

13. Find your alter ego. The girl that comes out when the sun goes down and your clothing comes off. Or just roleplay. When you’re pretending to be someone else, it’s easier to let go of your inhibitions.

14. Before sex, shave your legs. Spray on your flirtiest perfume. Dance around to your favorite song. Pose naked in front of the mirror. Whatever it takes to raise your confidence.

15. Only sleep with men that make you feel completely comfortable. Men that you know aren’t judging your every move. Men that remind you that you’re beautiful. TC mark 

This Is Why You Shouldn’t Wait For Someone To Make Up Their Mind

Posted: 20 Jan 2017 04:00 PM PST

Twenty20 nadinenarciso
Twenty20 nadinenarciso

I used to think that waiting for someone you love to be ready is the ultimate form of flattery and the ideal declaration of love.

It's how all epic love stories unfold and those who waited are finally rewarded for their patience when their lover comes back to them, then I had a very simple epiphany- the most epic love stories start when two people decide they like each other, they want to be with each other and they want to make the relationship work. Love is not always going to be easy and there will always be compromises, but having to wait for someone for months or years to finally decide to give you a chance should not be one of them.

Admit it, you don't know what you are waiting for. Are you waiting for a declaration of love? Are you waiting for someone to change? Are you waiting for someone to recognize how loyal and patient you are? Are you waiting for a sign? Whatever it is you are waiting for should not keep you waiting if it's truly worth it and you should always ask yourself if you are waiting for something that may never happen.

Waiting for someone means that you are okay with that person treating you like you are not important or that you don't deserve their time.

Waiting for someone means that you don't value yourself enough to realize that if someone cares enough, they will not keep you waiting or wondering. You are choosing to blind your own eyes from seeing the truth that will eventually blindside you.

Waiting for someone is not a sign of strength or loyalty, it's a sign of denial and ignoring what you already know to be true. You will continue putting them on a pedestal they don't even know they're on, you will continue investing your all on nothing.

Waiting for someone means that you are pouring salt on your own cuts and acting like it doesn't burn. It means that you have agreed to be the person they "settle" for after exploring all other options. It means that you are surrendering yourself to rejection over and over again and acting like it's the natural process of waiting.

Waiting for someone means you are pushing away people who are willing to give what you are waiting for and they are willing to give it to you immediately. It means you are telling the whole world that you do not deserve the respect and love that you give others, that you are willing to compromise the most precious parts of yourself for someone who doesn't even try to give a little bit more.

As much as you deserve to be rewarded for your patience and as much as you deserve someone who comes back and finally claims you, this is not always the case. You shouldn't set aside yourself for anyone else, because when you lose a person for whatever reason you are going to realize that you are on your own, and that you waited months or years for someone who didn't end up fulfilling the prophecy you created for them. Sometimes patience is a waste of time.

If you must wait; wait to be chosen every day, wait to be reminded that you are special, wait to be loved in the way that you constantly love, wait to be taken seriously and wait for someone who doesn’t keep you waiting, because you know that you deserve better than waiting around for someone to make up their mind. TC mark

Rania Naim is a poet and author of the new book All The Words I Should Have Said, available here.

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If I Could Write A Letter To My Anxiety, This Is What I’d Say

Posted: 20 Jan 2017 03:00 PM PST

 ievaurenceva
ievaurenceva

You've been with me for longer than I can remember. Every irrational fear growing up. Every thought that was so far from reality. You were the shadow always lurking.

You were the friend I didn't want but you'd never go away. And as I grew up, you weren't something I just grew out of. We grew together and you continue to try and ruin my life.

But I won't let you.

You keep me tossing and turning at night as the familiarity of 3 am welcomes me.

You play out scenarios that will never come true but try and convince me of the worst.

You try and ruin my relationships and there a few that couldn't beat you.

You try and convince me to hate myself while telling me everyone else does too.

You tell me everyone is going to leave so maybe you should beat them to it.

You lie to me over and over again trying to convince me it's the truth.

You taunt me with simple texts or emails of messages that go unanswered and try to tell me I’m the one who has done something.

I get sick and you’re the one googling every sign and symptom which ends in death every time.

And sometimes, I laugh it off but other times I’m paralyzed with complete fear of some of these thoughts becoming reality.

You convince me I need to apologize when in reality no one noticed or cared I messed up. No one cares but you then you try and get me to.

You're the paranoid voice that doesn't shut up. And that dark shadow that turns positives into negatives.

You’re the one beside me as I wait. Because you and I are always waiting.

You make me second guess everything I say and do as I triple read texts and emails.

You drive my friends crazy as they tell me to relax, as they tell me I'm overthinking. You counter every one of their voices with two words, ‘what if?’

You make me question my relationships and doubt really good people just because I don't trust myself when it comes to you.


Every time I put my faith in you, it leads down one of two roads, trying unbelievably hard to the point I look bad or turning the other way out of fear because I’m so convinced I’ve done something wrong that I retreat.

You want to control everyone and everything and so far the only thing you've been able to is me.

It's that exam you tell me, if I don't get an A it's over.

It's perfectionism that brings me to tears because I’ve always been good enough for other people but the reality is, it’s you that’s the problem. You make me my own worst enemy.

It's my mind never being able to shut off. Overthinking. Overanalyzing. Caring too much. You convince me that caring too much is a character flaw when in reality it’s my strength.

You try to find solutions that are only problems you made up in my head.

It’s the hangover from hell as I overthink the previous night because I’m either quiet and nervous, not wanting to be there or taking vodka to the face to ease my nerves and not shutting up. Everything resulting in someone hating me and an unnecessary apology.

It's emotionally draining. It's waking up tired because with you there's no off button.

There's no trying to escape. Even when I do run, you're with me. Haunting me in a sound that is my own voice.

It's the love I have for sleep if I can even get there. Because that’s the one place you’re not with me.

It's doing my best to hide you because if anyone actually knew what it's like to deal with you, I don't know it they'd have sympathy or fear because thinking as much as I do isn't healthy.

It's my heart racing only no one can see it.

It's sweating and nerves and fears overtaking my entire body but instead of rolling up into a ball and crying, I smile.

It's the cuts around my fingers people say are just a bad habit. But it's the most visible sign you’re there and with me.

And you know you think I hate you. Yes, it would be easier to live my life without you.

It'd be nice to have a relationship where I'm not questioning everything. It’d nice not to need someone, I’m dating to constantly tell me, ‘It’s okay.’

But of the things I could thank you for is the success when you told me I'd fail.

You've taught me about patience as we waited.

You've taught me about acceptance both in myself and others.

You've taught me about trust. Because I don't trust you and these scenarios you make up for fun. But I've learned to trust myself a little more.

Thank you for the relationships and people you swore would walk away because they are still here.

It's love within myself, as I look in the mirror with the confidence you tried to strip me of.

You haven’t won and I will never let you. TC mark

You Are Worth It, Don’t Let Another Broken Heart Convince Your Otherwise

Posted: 20 Jan 2017 02:00 PM PST

Life Of Pix
Life Of Pix

"I will not be another flower, picked for my beauty and left to die. I will be wild, difficult to find, and impossible to forget."
-Erin Van Vuren

Trust me, I don't understand it either.

You wake up to that "Good morning, beautiful" text and each night you close those innocent eyes thinking maybe just maybe this is it. This one is different.

Wrong.

As quick as the words fell from their lips, they are gone.

It's as though you've begun to anticipate the hollow hopes. It's like you know when the feeling hits that it’s not going to end in your favor. It ends with no apology, no notice, no emotion, nothing. It's a vicious cycle.

But you do it over and over again.

You keep downloading those dating apps thinking it will be a different outcome when deep down you know the brutal truth. The brutal truth being that as much as you don't want to believe it, it’s just not your time.

You now have to tell your best friend and parents that once again "It just didn't work out." Like a broken record they reassure you, "It's him, not you." As if that's supposed to hinder the hurt. But pain of another loss covers you like that stained white tank top you can't wear anymore and suddenly you can't help but shame yourself.

You begin to question your every move. Is my hair not long enough? Or should I cut it? I knew I should have worn those pink shoes.. Am I not skinny enough? Did I say something wrong? Maybe, I should have called him…

What the hell is wrong with me?

There is nothing wrong with you

Do not question your appearance to gain acceptance from another person. Do not allow anyone to make you feel as though you have to do that. If he doesn't recognize your worth, then he's not someone worth fighting for. If it was meant to be then there wouldn't be any questions or any doubts. If it were real then you would be fully accepted.

You are unique in your very own special way. Start working on what's happening in your mind and heart. Beauty is not about having the perfect body, or the perfect face, or the perfect hair. It is about having a beautiful heart and a pure soul; it's about being able to let go of the ones that don't encourage you to grow, It's about loving life and accepting it for exactly what it is.

And if nobody told you today – you are so incredibly worth it. TC mark

Here’s The Hidden Message That Someone Discovered In Trump’s Inauguration Speech

Posted: 20 Jan 2017 01:15 PM PST

via YouTube
via YouTube

Immediately after President Donald Trump gave his inaugural address today, a transcript of his speech was released and someone on Twitter found it seemed to contain a bizarre hidden message.

via Twitter
via Twitter

Reading straight down, as if in a crossword, are letters spelling out the sentence “Bernie Would Have Won.” What do you think? Was this an accident or is it Trump trolling the Democratic Party?

Here’s the original tweet that pointed this out:

I mean, knowing the internet it’s probably edited but still, it’s a hilarious idea. TC mark

Your Brain On Facebook: 4 Studies On Why People Who Don’t Use Social Media Are So Much Happier IRL

Posted: 20 Jan 2017 01:00 PM PST

Screen Shot 2015-12-04 at 11.20.36 AM

Social media, like anything else, is only destructive when we use it in an unhealthy way. That much is obvious. But what probably isn't as obvious is the fact that most of our "unhealthy involvement" with it is subconscious, or at least, outside of our control. That is to say, social media may be what you make of it – but "what you make of it" is also usually a product of inherent cognitive function. Your digital life may be a major instigator of the less flattering aspects of human nature, or an inappropriate solution to some long-withstanding emotional issues that have gone unaddressed.

Do we have the kind of self-awareness and discipline to know when we're seeking validation more than we're just posting a fun series of photos? Do we have the kind of self-healing capacities to be able to address these problems, and not simply seek the immediate relief online? Do we have the discipline to teach ourselves to disconnect from the Internet and reconnect to our actual, real lives? Research seems to indicate that the answer is no, and that when people are forcibly removed from their online lives, their mental and emotional states significantly improve. Here are a few interesting studies that back this up, and may make you reconsider how benign your online time is after all.


1. People who go without Facebook for just one week report being significantly happier overall simply because they are more present

The study divided two groups of people who first rated their lives on a scale from 1-10, and then half went without Facebook for a week, and the other half continued as usual. The former group's overall contentment went from an average of 7.75/10 to 8.12/10, while the latter group actually decreased from 7.67/10 to 7.56/10.

The speculated reason is that simply, the people who weren't allowed to use Facebook were more present in their real lives. Presentness, as we know, is a fundamental component of happiness.


2. We now get our daily news via our social media feeds, but what we don't consider is how we are picking and choosing what news we consume, and it is shaping the way we see the world.

Essentially, we turn to Twitter more than we ever turn on a TV station (at a rate of 61%, specifically) and while this is likely increasing our awareness of what's happening in the world, it is also decreasing our open-mindedness, as we insulate our worldviews and reinforce our ideas based on who we follow and what perspective they present of the issue at hand.


3. Facebook use is heavily linked to depression – and it's largely attributed to social comparison theory.

Studies had shown for a while that depression was spiking in correlation with an increased use of social media, but the theory as to why was only understood not so long ago. Essentially, we're being constantly probed to engage in "social comparison," and we're addicted to it because as much as the "upward comparisons" make us depressed, the "downward comparisons" make us feel better, if not high with validation. ("Upward," meaning comparing to those perceived to be "better," and "downward" meaning comparing to those perceived to be worse-off.)


4. Social media use has been linked repeatedly to overall lack of mental health.

According to researchers above, heavy social media users are more likely to have overall poor mental health, psychological distress (anxiety and depression) suicidal thoughts and unmet mental health needs. Essentially, social media users forego pursuit of their own self-esteem, health and validation in favor of what they perceive to be social recognition and acceptance. Yet, they do not ever receive it from a screen, so it spirals into an addictive-like tendency.

While there's no doubt that social media is not maliciously intended in nature, there is significant doubt that we as humans are able to resist not playing out our deepest issues through them – and as it turns out, it seems to be hurting far more than we realize. TC mark

Brianna Wiest is the author of 101 Essays That Will Change The Way You Think, available here.

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To My Fellow Women, Don’t Treat Him Better Than You Treat Yourself

Posted: 20 Jan 2017 12:00 PM PST

freestocks.org
freestocks.org

He isn’t God. He isn’t Hercules. He isn’t a saint. He is just a person.

I know right now you think he is your everything. You think he is the sun. You think he is your gravity, the thing that keeps you from collapsing. The thing that is keeping you from breaking. You look at him and you see your future. You look at him and can’t help but smile, because he is yours.

But please, know that he isn’t what is holding you together. He isn’t what is making your life worth living. He isn’t what is letting you breathe. He isn’t your oxygen.

He isn’t what defines you.

You treat him like gold. You hold him so carefully, so lovingly, with your tender hands wrapped around his body. You tell him how lucky you are that he chose you. That he decided on you. You treat him like a king, as if there is a paper crown on top of his head.

But my dear, you’ve got it all backwards.

He isn’t the royal one here. He isn’t the one who needs to be so carefully taken care of. He isn’t the one that needs those affirmations, the one who needs all that love. He isn’t the one who should ever hold power over you.

Please, do not let him be your universe.

The way that you hold him each night? You need to hold yourself with that same compassion and tenderness. The way you list off things that you love about him? You need to give that same amount of love to your own heart. The way you look at him with bursting compassion and adoration? You need to look at yourself in the same light.

He is not your future. He is not your savior, or your knight in shining armor. That’s you. That is all you.

Do not let a boy become the centerpiece of your life. Do not let a boy become more important than you are to yourself. And do not let a boy take your whole heart, while he gives you nothing in return.

You are the center of your own life. You are your own hero. You are the one to save yourself. You are the one to take care of yourself. Don’t let someone else take that title. Be your own heroine. Be the one to pick your own self up. Be the one to rebuild your own heart.

Be your own light and your own candle when it gets too dark to see.

You can do it, I know you can.

He isn’t the star of your galaxy. He isn’t the main character of your book. That’s you, sweet girl. And don’t you ever forget that you are worth more than just being someone’s girlfriend. And you are worth so much more than being just another storyline. TC mark