Thought Catalog

If Someone Asked Me Where I Hope I Am In 5 Years

Posted: 02 Jan 2017 08:14 PM PST


I would probably start by saying that I hope I have an exposed brick wall in whatever home I’m inhabiting. Something about me has always wanted my home to have an exposed brick wall. Ideally painted white but hey, I’m crafty so I can make anything work. And there are window ledges large enough to sit on and I stack books there that I always say I’m meaning to finish but only get around to finishing them on my occasional weekends off where I’m not sprinting around. The books get a little dusty from not moving as often as they should and I perch succulents and cacti and trinkets on top of them in some sort of weird, knick-knacky display. There are plants sporadically around. I don’t kill them. They survive and thrive and make my home feel like one part hipster heaven, one part artisan coffee shop, one part greenhouse from Harry Potter. And it’s serene and sweet and cute and everyone who is in it feels instantly calmer and welcome and safe. I hope my mugs never match. And that there’s a mug in my cabinet for every mood. If you’re in my home and you want something to drink, there’s an applicable mug for your beverage that makes you smile and makes you say, “Oh my god this mug is amazing.” And I think about letting you keep it for a split second because there’s something so kismet about feeling like an object gets you. My furniture will always have a light dusting of dog hair. Some of it black and stubborn, because at that point Nukka will be 11 and at that age she’s allowed to do whatever she pleases. Other dog hair will probably be lighter and more spritely from whatever new dog is in our lives that she tolerates and I adore while also whispering in her 11-year-old ear at night that she’ll always be my number one. I’ll apologize to guests for the forest of dog hair they’re agreeing to subject themselves to by entering my house. But I’ll still never vacuum as often as I should because I secretly like the way my dogs smell and don’t mind it because it’s their house too. I’ll still be writing. A box of books will be sitting in the corner that I send to people I like and that I hide out of awkwardness because I don’t want to seem like I’m showing off. I’ll have told the stories from college and after, and some of the ones from before. None of them will likely be the next memoir that everyone’s banging down their doors to get, but they will find a home in kitschy shops and on the shelves of girls who never quite got it together. There will still be sticky notes abandoned on mirrors and the fridge and my walls with things like, “That time you and B went midnight floating,” and “Talk about how not to blackout on a first date,” and “Write about the best wines to pair with therapy realizations,” scattered around because I will still try to run in 9 different directions all at the same time. I will have tried stand up. I will decide it’s not for me but will say I’m glad I did it. I will still talk to Katie basically every day. Katie will have agreed that stand up wasn’t for me but she’ll have made me feel better about the travesty of it all. Ari and I will live closer together and she’ll come over for dinner on random weekday nights. We’ll sit on my porch or balcony or whatever outdoor space I have sipping red wine in candlelight laughing at how stupid we used to be. We’ll talk about Brooklyn and LA and we’ll remember my blue hair and my pink hair phase and she’ll still look great with or without bangs. She won’t stay the night because someone will be waiting up for her to come home. Chrissy and I will probably always have projects in our back pockets. Always be brainstorming the next best thing. Always be moving and working and grinding and pushing each other. But then we’ll just decide to go to the beach for a weekend out of nowhere and spend days just writing in the sand and not talking for hours because we know how to be around each other. And there will be someone new in my life. Someone who doesn’t mind that I hog the blankets or that sometimes I stay up until 4 AM without even realizing the impracticality of that but will find my go-go-go charming as hell. They will be able to tell you where the three moles on my body are and won’t ever call me intimidating like it’s a compliment. They’ll be able to give me space without worrying and be able to fill a void that I at one time thought was endless. My friends will love them. Greg will talk to them almost more than he talks to me. They’ll walk the dogs together and Greg will never hesitate to tell them embarrassing stories about me from college. They’ll be my emergency contact and I’ll never worry about them not showing up. They’ll have their own toothbrush in the apartment with the succulents and the brick wall and the books that I’m meaning to get to. And the plants will never die because I’ll make sure they’re in sunlight, and they’ll never forget to water them during the week. TC mark

29 Extremely Awkward (But Hilarious) True Stories Of BAD SEX

Posted: 02 Jan 2017 08:00 PM PST

1. She covered herself in ketchup and mustard and told me to eat her like a Hebrew National.

"Drunk. Climbed on the counter. Had put ketchup and mustard on her everything. Told me to eat her like a Hebrew National. In her defense, I do love hotdogs."


2. He moved his leg to grope my boob with his foot.

"My boyfriend was fingering me, and then he moved his leg to grope my boob with his foot. In his mind, having two hands down below and another 'hand' up top was an effective idea. It was just really weird."


3. He started singing 'Closer' by NIN and my vagina cried softly.

"He started singing 'Closer' by NIN and my vagina cried softly."


4. Sprayed air duster on my nuts…with the can upside down.

"Sprayed air duster on my nuts…with the can upside down."


5. She thought it would be hot to whimper like a wounded puppy while I was doing her doggy style..

"A girl I was banging for a while thought it would be hot to whimper like a wounded puppy while I was doing her doggy style. I actually told her if she kept it up I would pull out and leave."


6. 'Fill me up, Mr. petrol pump.'

"'Fill me up, Mr. petrol pump.'"


7. He dumped a bag of dildos on the bed next to me.

"Not my SO, so I’m not sure if this counts but last night I was mid hookup with a guy (no penetration yet) when he reached over to his nightstand and produced a bag of dildos which he proceeded to dump out onto the bed next to me. One was literally flashing because it had lightbulbs in it. So I’m like 'uhh what is happening' and then he loses his erection and immediately gets out of bed and puts his clothes on because, and I quote, 'this isn’t working out.' I’ve never gotten dressed so fast in my life."


8. She leaned in and whispered, 'I want that fire cock.'

"She leaned in and whispered, 'I want that fire cock.'"


9. I dated this guy for a few months who actually spoke to my vagina.

"I dated this guy for a few months who actually spoke to my vagina. We had a few drinks, started fooling around a bit, and he did the typical kissing trail down my stomach in preparation to go down on me. Once he was down there, his face inches from my hoo-ha, whispered, 'yeah… you want me to eat you? you really want to feel my tongue?'

It was pretty obvious that he was not talking to me. I couldn’t suppress the giant fit of laughter that came afterwards. Needless to say no more sex was had that night."


10. Nibbled on my left testicle.

"Nibbled on my left testicle. I feel like I developed PTSD from that experience."


11. Girls keep putting their freezing cold hands down my pants.

"Had a couple different girls who have put their freezing cold hands down my pants and then seemed confused and offended that this did not result in an instant erection."


12. Biting. Hard. Broke the skin..

"Biting. Hard. Broke the skin. Wasn’t sexy, just painful, gross, and frightening."


13. 'You can either be spanked or lick the Stick of Discipline.'

"Not my current SO, but an ex. He was trying to act more kinky, something that he had no real experience in, and he said something along the lines of 'You can either be spanked or lick the Stick of Discipline.' There was no licking of the Stick of Discipline that night."


14. Making the loudest, fakest, whiniest moans imaginable.

"Making the loudest, fakest, whiniest moans imaginable. I cringed every time."


15. My ex would constantly say I was 'swimming inside her' when we were having sex.

"My ex would constantly say I was 'swimming inside her' when we were having sex…. I wasn’t sure if she was calling me very tiny or herself very wide. Either way it was not sexy and always ruined the mood for me."


16. He kept slapping me while kissing me.

"We were making out, and he slapped me. Then he kissed again, slapped again. Kissed again, slapped again. Then he noticed my baffled expression. Then it was just weird and he apologized, and we each went home and never spoke of it again. I’m not even entirely sure he was trying to turn me on, but it’s really kind of the only way I can make sense of it."


17. Farted during sex. She thought I would 'like the vibrations.'

"Farted during sex. She thought I would 'like the vibrations.'"


18. My girlfriend thought it would be fun to quietly quack in my ear like a duck.

"One time while getting into it, my girlfriend thought it would be fun to quietly quack in my ear like a duck. Unfortunately I’m into rubber ducks, not real ducks, so the quack was just bizarre and off-putting."


19. Shoved her unlubricated finger in my asshole.

"Shoved her unlubricated finger in my asshole. It was terrible."


20. 'I like your dick better than my other boyfriend’s.'

"Me and my current SO we’re having sex a few months ago when she moaned, 'I like your dick better than my other boyfriend’s.' I stopped mid thrust and just stared at her in disbelief. She thought it was the funniest thing ever. A few weeks later I’m three strokes in and fake an orgasm. The same thing played out but in reverse, she was in disbelief and I laughed my ass off."


21. GF saying 'oh my' during sex in a George Takei kind of voice..

"GF saying 'oh my' during sex in a George Takei kind of voice. She didn't mean to, it just kind of came out wrong. We both laughed at the time but now I jokingly say it to her randomly for fun. :)"


22. I thought it would be hot to literally spit on her pussy.

"Well, something I did definitely ruined sex once. I was having pretty rough sex with my girlfriend and for some reason I thought it would be hot to literally spit on her pussy. She looked at me like 'oh no you did not.' I still think some women could find that hot, but I’m not doing it again unless someone asks me to."


23. The girl bit the ever-living hell out of my thigh, right below my junk.

"The girl bit the ever-living hell out of my thigh, right below my junk."


24. I’ve had a few girls try and choke me.

"I’ve had a few girls try and choke me. That isn’t something I find remotely sexy and more so puts me into fight of flight mode."


25. She figured I’d like if she dug her nails into my balls.

"Ex-gf 15 years back. She figured I’d like if she put her nails into my balls like she’d seen women do on dudes backs in shitty rom-coms. My squeal of horrified panic cured that idea. In fairness, we were like…14, so experience was limited."


26. 'Chik chicky boo chicky boo WOO HOO!'

"My wife tried to be sexy for me this one time… she hummed her own music tune while giving me a lap dance. It just did not work for me.

I recognized it from a Looney Toon cartoon with Daffy singing 'chik chicky boo chicky boo WOO HOO!'

When I showed her the clip, she got embarrassed, saying that she knew it from something, but didn’t remember where.

She had issues about not being sexy enough for me, but I reassured her that she didn’t have to work so hard to do so. She felt better, and we both learned that I like lingerie.

But now every time I think of lap dancing, I think of Daffy Duck."


27. Ended up pretty much sucking a ball right out of my sack. Beyond painful.

"Once dated a girl who was REALLY good at giving head. So good, that she would only do weird shit to try and get an extra rise out of me. Ended up pretty much sucking a ball right out of my sack. Beyond painful. No more sexy time."


28. Should I tell her I’m not into necrophilia?

"After 11 years of marriage my wife lies motionless. Should I tell her I’m not into necrophilia?"


29. Her sandpaper hands tried to jerk my dick like a stick shift.

"Wife grabbed my dick and started trying to jerk it hard while it was dry. Like full-on trying to use a stick shift with the head of my penis. She has eczema so her hands are like sandpaper some days. Soon after, we had a talk about proper foreplay and what is probably not a good idea during foreplay."


50 Tiny Ways To Tease Him Before Having Bed-Shaking Sex With Him

Posted: 02 Jan 2017 07:00 PM PST

1. Let him catch you masturbating.

2. Take your bra off while you’re still wearing your shirt.

3. Perform a striptease.

4. Whisper something seductive into his ear.

5. Put on a porno.

6. Sit on his lap.

7. Let him reach under your skirt, so he can see how wet you are.

8. Send him nudes.

9. Rub your butt against his crotch when you cuddle.

10. Play an adult board game.

11. Caress his thigh while you’re out at dinner.

12. Tell him everything you’re planning on doing to him.

13. Bend over in front of him, so he gets a good view of your ass.

14. Bend forward in front of him, so he gets a good view of your cleavage.

15. Have an extra long make out session with him.

16. Walk around his apartment in your underwear.

17. Ask him for a massage (that you’re going to be completely naked during).

18. Lick icing (or really, any type of food) off of his fingers.

19. Slap his ass when he walks past.

20. Give him a hug from behind and kiss his neck.

21. Get undressed in front of him.

22. Put on your favorite lingerie and then casually walk around the house in it.

23. Unzip his jeans without saying a single word. 

24. Give him a lap dance. 

25. Send him the most inappropriate sext you can come up with. 

26. Flash him. 

27. Put on dance music and grind against him. 

28. Ask him to join you in the shower. 

29. Leave toys out on the bed (or at least a box of condoms).

30. Give him a full body massage.

31. Play with his hair.

32. Tell him about one of your secret fantasies.

33. Let him catch you reading an erotic novel.

34. Compliment him on how sexy he looks (don’t be afraid to sound crude).

35. Leave him a note, asking him to meet you in the bedroom.

36. Tie him to the bed.

37. Dim the lights, so he realizes you’re in the mood.

38. Put on sensual music.

39. Tell him how horny you are.

40. Cook him a romantic dinner.

41. Pour him a glass of wine (or hand him his favorite brand of beer).

42. Rub lotion on your chest while he watches.

43. Light candles and place them around the bedroom.

44. Wear a skintight dress that reminds him of a romantic night you shared in the past.

45. Play strip poker.

46. Slip into your old Halloween costume so you can look like a sexy cop or nurse.

47. Put on your sexiest perfume.

48. Give him a passionate kiss with tongue.

49. Give him a handjob while you’re relaxing on the couch.

50. Get on your knees and give him a blowjob. TC mark

6 Bedroom Mindsets That Make Men Go Wild

Posted: 02 Jan 2017 06:00 PM PST

A great sex life – and being the woman of his dreams – starts well before you enter the bedroom.

The mindsets you bring to sex determine not just how much your man enjoys sex with you, but more importantly – how he feels about sex with you.

The better he feels about his bedroom capabilities, the more he's going to see himself as god's gift – and will want to keep coming back to prove it.

Most women don't realize how much their attitudes to sex can make or break their partner and their relationship. So for his sake, and yours, here are 6 bedroom mindsets men love to find in a woman.

"I won't pressure my man"

If you were struggling to climax or get turned on, and a man kept telling you to "hurry up", do you think it would help?

Men care about pleasing you – a lot. When they feel like they can't, they're already freaking out in their own heads.

When you're with a guy who's struggling to get it up or finish, piling on the pressure will NOT do you any good. In fact, it will have the opposite effect.

Just like you, men need to be relaxed to enjoy themselves. If you help him get comfortable and show him you don't mind, you're a much better chance of getting things going again.

"I'll never say never"

Does he have a fantasy that you could never imagine yourself doing?

Despite how against it you might feel, you may want to be careful with the language you use, steering clear of the word "never".

When a man offers up some sort of sexual fantasy (from a dress up to anal to involving someone else), the use of the word "never" puts him in a quandary.

By telling him never, you are essentially saying to him "You will have to be with another woman if you ever want to experience that".

Is that something you want to be emphatically communicating?

I know what you're thinking. "But Mark, I would never have a threesome. Why is it wrong to say so?".

What's important to understand is, men often bring up fantasies not because they actually want to do them, but because they are testing to see whether – if they did – they couldn't with you. They are testing to see how trapped they are… if they are literally choosing to never experience those fantasies by staying with you.

It's male instinct to want to break out of traps, so why verbally put him in one every time he brings up a fantasy?

When you give an answer with softer language, "I wouldn't totally rule it out, but we'd have to have a lot of talking and it would be quite a way off in the future", he doesn't feel like he's choosing to lose out on that fantasy forever by staying with you. It's virtually a no, but without all the trappings that come with saying "no" outright.

The amusing part is, he usually then forgets about the whole idea.

If he's really serious, he'll persist, and you can cross that bridge as a couple if you come to it. Counseling and good communication can happen if he's really passionate about making a fantasy you're uncomfortable with a reality.

For the most part though, men don't actually want to live out these fantasies for real. They just like feeling safe in the fact that maybe, one day, you would be the woman with whom they could.

"I'm going to be really f'in dirty"

The more you enter the bedroom with an attitude that you're going to let it all out, the more your man is going to love the fact he's the only one who gets to see it.

I've never met a man who complained about a sexual experience where a woman was too raw, primal or uninhibited. Yet I've heard hundreds of complaints from men about women who they felt were inhibited, shy, and seemed afraid to let go.

A man knows deep down that if he's truly a man, he'll be able to bring out the raw, sexual woman inside of you. He literally feels like a failure if he can't.

So go in with the attitude that once the clothes are off, so are all bets. You're going to be as dirty as you want to be – and he's going to unleash something other men aren't privy to.

"I love my body"

You know those insecurities you have about your body?

Leave them at the bedroom door.

If you're in a man's room, especially for the first time, it means he's already played out this moment multiple times in his head. He's touched himself to thoughts of you naked. He's imagined taking off your clothes. He's fantasized about having you every moment since the two of you walked in the door.

So once he starts taking off your clothes and unwrapping the goddess, don't ruin his fantasy for him.

Some women at this moment get nervous. Cover themselves. Dart under the covers. Turn the lights off. It's instinct. But it's an instinct you want to put aside, because it causes all of the build-up and excitement in his head to turn to dust. He thinks to himself "I guess this won't be as good as I thought".

He really wants to see you naked and does not care one bit about that thing you're insecure about with your body. Even if it is a big thing – own it! The more you show you love your body and believe you're as sexy as he thinks you are, the more you reinforce his fantasies, subtly reminding him how lucky he is.

"Even when I'm not in the mood, I still find you sexy"

This may shock you to hear, but… men have egos.

And a good chunk of a man's ego revolves around sex.

Which means, if you're the only woman he's having sex with, you control most of that ego – and therefore – how he feels about himself.

Why is this important?

You're not going to be in the mood for sex all the time. But how you communicate this can either bolster, or chip away, at his precious male ego.

Every time you reject your man harshly – every time you tell him "Go away, I'm not horny right now" or "Stop pestering me, I'm not in the mood", you take a tiny chip out of that ego. Once or twice won't hurt him, but chips eventually become cracks and cracks lead to collapse. It sounds extreme – but repeated damage over months and years will eventually destroy him as a man.

The better you communicate that you still find him sexy despite your rejection, "I would LOVE for you to take me right now, but I really can't tonight, I have to sleep. Later this week I want you though!", the more you preserve that precious male ego. Even if he's not getting sex, he still walks away feeling like a man.

"I'll show him what I like, not tell him what I don't"

Remember, the male ego as it relates to sex is VERY delicate.

If he feels like he can't please you, he literally feels like less of a man.

Criticism ("Stop, what are you doing??" "Ow! Don't do it like that!!") won't go down well if you're after positive change. Give feedback to a man the same way you would give feedback to a scared puppy. Positive reinforcement, rather than verbal criticism. Physically show him what you enjoy "I love it when you do it like this" and give positive feedback when he gets it right. By showing him what you love, you'll have him wanting to do it more rather than shying away.

Having the right mindsets towards your man and sex won't just result in better experiences for the two of you – It can literally be the difference between him fantasizing over the next time he gets to please you versus him feeling like he can't.

Be fearless and open with him and understand his ego, and in return you'll have a loving, loyal partner who wants to fulfill your every fantasy. TC mark

2017 Is The Year To Say Goodbye To Fuckboys And Hello To A Better You

Posted: 02 Jan 2017 05:00 PM PST

Timothy Paul Smith
Timothy Paul Smith

I spent these last few weeks of 2016 swiping left and right for fuckboys. As 2017 is quickly approaching, I realized that 2017 is the year I will be saying goodbye to these fuckboys. These are the lessons I've learned, and I thank my best friends wholeheartedly for drilling these into my head, which have now become my daily mantras to welcome my best self yet.

You can't ask someone to be in your life; they have to be there willingly.

There is no need to chase people. A relationship is a two-way street, where both parties are required to put in their solid 100% effort, but you are only required to put in your 50% of that 100%. If he doesn't reply your texts, then leave it. You deserve more than someone who doesn't have the decency to take 5 seconds out of their day to tell you that they're busy or unavailable to you.

If someone is sending you mixed signals, a snap over here and an Insta like over there, but doesn't reply to your messages or phone calls, they aren't serious enough for your time and affection.

If someone doesn't reply when you ask to hangout or for something more, leave them. You deserve someone who will give you definite answers. You deserve someone who doesn't play games with your head and heart or toy your emotions. There is no need to beg. The moment you start to realize that you become desperate and yearn for any reaction out of them is the moment you walk away. Your self-worth is more than spamming texts and snaps in hopes they'd reply. Either you stay or you go, and most likely it's time for you to go.

Never settle.

Stop making excuses for why he doesn't reply in exchange for those dumb and meaningless likes on your latest Instagram pic or Facebook post. Stop feeding into those drunk snaps at 1am on a Wednesday. If he wanted you, he would have said so. He would have taken every moment he had to get to know you, the real you, at 1pm in the sunlight. You don't have to compromise his inconsistent attitude, even if he is good eye candy. You sat on the floor crying for a reason.

You deserve a better man, one who cares about every single part of you, and thinks your humor and passionate heart is more beautiful than the color of your hair or the makeup on your face. But sometimes there is no better man, so why waste time on all these flaky and inconsistent fuckboys when you can spend time on yourself instead?

2017 is the year to say goodbye to boys who simply do not appreciate and respect you.

There is a better version of you waiting to be explored, strengthened, and grown. 2017 is the year you'll find that you are the most worthwhile; there is simply no fuckboy better. TC mark

I Won’t Let You Break Me Again

Posted: 02 Jan 2017 04:00 PM PST

Pexels, Nickol Hykl
Nickol Hykl

I bet you’re trying to figure out another way to break me, but I'm sorry, it's not going to work anymore.

No matter what you do, you are not going to hurt me again. Because I am a girl who felt the pain of love in every way possible and still survived.

I still don't know whether your love was a blessing or a curse, but the one thing I do know is that it made me a better person.

I don't know why you expected me to be so perfect when you were not even close to perfection. You were the drug I was addicted to, but now there’s no one around, except myself.

At first, I was scared to leave the house, worrying that I might see you and burst out crying, but now I dare you to walk in front of me and watch how I pass you by like a total stranger.

I've realized that I can't water a dead flower and expect it to grow again, so I’ve finally let you go. If you think this imperfect girl is never going to feel loved again, it's okay. I'm willing to wait for the right person.

The love I had for you was my biggest weakness. Try using it to break me again and you will see how strong I've become.

Today, I looked at the mirror and saw how beautiful my smile is and realized how ugly you made me look for the past year. You took away the most precious thing I've ever had, my self-respect, but now I have it back. Now I shed tears — not for missing you — but for being happy and free.

I've started loving myself to the extent that I loved you and realized how much I miss being loved. That’s why, despite what you’ve done, I'm going to take a chance at falling in love again. I’m willing to take the risk of being heartbroken again. But this time, I promise to take care of myself.

I’m grateful for the pain you put me through every single day. I’m thankful for the sharp words and the lies. But the memories are not important to me anymore.

I'm sorry if seeing my smile is going to disappoint you, because if that’s the case, you are going to get tortured every day.

Thank you for all the times you made me feel so small, so useless, so worthless. Thanks to you I've learned how to live. TC mark

It’s Important To Embrace Your Pain And Remember What It Taught You

Posted: 02 Jan 2017 03:00 PM PST

Ecila Ecila
Ecila Ecila

Nobody’s perfect—that’s the usual words we often say when we make mistakes. We all have our own fair share of mistakes which we have done in our lives—mistakes that we thought we are never capable of. And just because we make mistakes doesn’t mean that we are bad or terrible people. It only means that we aren’t perfect. We are flawed human beings who weren’t handed a life manual when we were born into this world.
It’s hard to admit when we are at fault. Our mistakes will haunt us for the rest of our lives.

Karma is a B*tch. And I am terrified of it.

In these moments, we tend to shut ourselves off from people. We never talk about it. We choose to let these mistakes consume us and define us. We just want to bury it with the hopes that it will go away.

But the longer we ignore and try to forget it, the more it will haunt us. We have to acknowledge it. We have to own up to it. We have to forgive ourselves for these mistakes and we have to seek forgiveness when we have hurt someone.

Saying sorry is the hardest thing to do but we have to do it before it’s too late.

Who would want to live life full of regrets and what-ifs? You won’t have peace of mind. It will eat your brain.

2011 and 2013 were one of the not-so-good years of my life. And yes, I still allow the memories to haunt me every day. I still cry whenever I think about everything that I’ve been through. It’s hard to forgive others but it’s harder to forgive yourself.

This year serves as a chance for me to correct my mistakes, heal wounds and find closure to most of the things which kept me awake at night.

Most, if not all, of my questions were answered. All the assumptions were corrected. I have explained and cleared everything from my side.

I was living all these years in fear and guilt. I don’t want to be happy or I’d rather suppress my emotions because I feel like I don’t deserve happiness.

If you are lucky enough to get a second chance at something, don’t waste it. Everyone deserves a chance to clean up their mistakes.

Nobody is a lost cause—every day is a new beginning to begin again.

If I meet my younger self today—I would want to tell her that life is not about rainbows, butterflies, fairy tales and happy-ever-afters. And that skinned knee is incomparable to the pain that she has to endure for her to live life.

But, no. I wouldn’t tell her that.

I want to tell her that she will commit a lot of mistakes along the way and it’s going to be okay.

I want her to strongly believe in fairy tales and never allow pain to ruin it.

Because after almost thirty years in this world, the universe knows what I would give just for me to view life through my younger eyes again.

But then again, there’s nothing that I can do about it.

The only thing that I can do now is embrace all the pain and turn it as my greatest strengths and remember what it taught me. TC mark

There Is Literally NOTHING Wrong With Being Single

Posted: 02 Jan 2017 02:00 PM PST

Allegra Messina
Allegra Messina

We are a world that loves to find things to hate on and for some reason being single is at the top of that list.

I don’t know about you but my social media feeds have been bombarded with “Not Engaged” posts lately like people are trying to prove something. Maybe they’re intending on only poking fun at themselves because they might be the last one in their friend group to be engaged or whatever, but it’s a joke that has been a bit worn out in my opinion.

Being single is as good or as bad as you make the experience out to be.

You have the ultimate freedom when you’re single and you have no one holding you back from achieving anything you want. The world is literally at your finger tips all you have to do is take the opportunities in front of you and if there aren’t any, then create your own!

Being single to me is my identity, it’s something that I’m just known for and I don’t think that’s a bad thing at all. No one expects me to have a boyfriend and I don’t expect to either, I’m so happy living my life on my own that having a boyfriend would throw everything off.

But here’s the thing: I wasn’t always like this. In fact, I used to throw myself at anyone who showed the slightest interest in me because I didn’t want to be alone, especially not after my relationship ended with my ex. I thought being alone was awful, I felt like I needed someone in my life, but the truth is I don’t need someone and I never did. I just didn’t know who I was when I was alone and I felt like I needed someone there to guide me.

I started taking all the energy I put into trying to get other people to love me into myself and my entire world changed. I became a happier person, I became more self-sufficient and I became (what I believe is) the best version of myself.

Being alone can be challenging especially after you’re so used to having someone by your side, but it has made me stronger. I’ve been alone and now I can appreciate it. I can appreciate myself more and enjoy my own company.

You have to find the balance in your life, and just like there’s nothing wrong with being in a relationship there is also nothing wrong with being on your own.

We as a society are so wrapped up in finding someone to call our own; we want to be completed by another half instead of trying to complete ourselves. We want to find someone to inspire us instead of inspiring ourselves. We want to jump into bed with someone, sometimes anyone, so we don’t have to sleep alone. We are so uncomfortable with being alone that we let it take over our lives, and love shouldn’t do that.

Love shouldn’t turn you into a person you’re not proud of, it shouldn’t degrade you and make you question yourself. Love shouldn’t make you feel alone in a relationship and it shouldn’t tear you away from the things you love or try to control you. That isn’t love, but sometimes that’s what we convince ourselves it should feel like because that’s better than being alone, right? No.

Being alone is a good thing. It teaches you how to appreciate yourself, how to trust yourself and stand up for yourself. It helps you learn what you deserve and it makes you understand the importance of not settling just so you can stop showing up alone.

If you are in a relationship that you are truly happy in I am very happy for you, really, I am because unfortunately that’s rare these days. But if you settled just because you didn’t want to be alone do you understand how short you are selling yourself? There is an entire world out there for your to fall in love with, yet you decided to fall into the arms of someone who is only half invested in you.

Which brings me back to my point that there is literally nothing wrong with being single. Being single is when you learn about yourself, it’s where you discover who you are and what your interests are. It’s where you grow a better understanding of the world, including relationships and love.

Don’t allow yourself to be so focused on becoming somebody’s that you forget to first become somebody. TC mark

Here Are All The Horror Movies We’re Excited For In 2017

Posted: 02 Jan 2017 01:03 PM PST

The Bye Bye Man — January 13

A take on modern urban legends (hello Slender Man murders), The Bye Bye Man follows three college students who find themselves haunted by this subject of lore.

Split — January 20

We may not have been excited for an M. Night Shyamalan before last year’s The Visit but it seems the director has gotten his groove back and he’s ready to scare the crap out of us. Split is about a man with 23 different personalities (and the ability to change his body along with them) who holds three young girls hostage for what he refers to as “the beast”. As one of his personalities warns the girls: “He’s done awful things to people and he’ll do awful things to you.”

Rings — February 3

The highly-anticipated third movie in The Ring franchise is here, and it looks like it will be just as terrifying as the first two. Set 13 years later, Rings deals with what happens after Samara “gets” you.

A Cure For Wellness — February 17

A Cure for Wellness follows a future where fitspo gets out of control. There’s a secluded “wellness spa” in the mountains where a lone man is sent to bring back his boss — before he’s diagnosed with the same “illness” as all the residents.

Get Out — February 24

An interracial couple spend the weekend at one of their family’s estates for the weekend. Things are definitely not what they seem.

The Belko Experiment — March 17

A modern day dystopia, The Belko Experiment could be the most unsettling movie of the year — just watch the trailer. It follows a group of 80 “non-profit employees” in a skyscraper in Columbia. The building is secured from the outside and the employees are ordered to turn on each other, or be killed.

Alien: Covenant — May 19

The trailer promises to live up to the hype of the original, and despite naysayers, we say reinventing iconic franchises is fun. Let’s just hope it delivers on the scares.

The Dark Tower — July 28


Stephen King fans are hyped that this is finally going to be released after a decade of Hollywood drama. The film is based on his 8-book Dark Tower series and stars Matthew McConaughey as the Man in Black. The movie better be good because it will be followed with a Dark Tower TV series out in 2018.

Annabelle 2 — August 11

The sequel to actually terrifying psuedo-based-on-a-true-story Annabelle. The sequel will actually be an origin story that tells us exactly how Annabelle became such an evil doll.

It — September 8

Entertainment Weekly
Entertainment Weekly

Definitely the most hyped horror release of the year. We’ve been waiting for It since the first look at the new Pennywise was released a year ago. We’re all wondering if this iteration will be able to scare a new generation of kids the way Tim Curry’s version scared us.

God Particle — October 27

The third Cloverfield movie, this JJ Abrams movie has a horrifying premise: a group of astronauts are aboard a space station when earth disappears.

Murder on the Orient Express — November 22

The Agatha Christie classic whodunnit comes to life with Johnny Depp as the victim.

Safe Neighborhood


A “far from normal” home invasion movie starring Virginia Madsen as a babysitter trying to keep her charges safe for the night. TC mark

50 Questions That Will Make You Fall Even Deeper In Love With Your Person

Posted: 02 Jan 2017 01:00 PM PST

Brandon Woelfel
Brandon Woelfel

1. If you could speak to anyone in heaven, who would it be?

2. What memory do you replay the most in your mind?

3. Do you have any reoccurring dreams or nightmares?

4. At what age did you learn the most about yourself?

5. When was the last time you were disappointed in yourself?

6. Is there someone that you’ll never forgive?

7. Which time period do you like the best, aesthetically speaking?

8. In what ways have you grown over the course of your life?

9. Do you think your parents are proud of where you are in life?

10. Is there a teacher that you wish you could call up and thank?

11. What’s the worst physical pain that you’ve ever suffered through?

12. What couple (that you personally know) do you look up to?

13. What scent reminds you of your childhood?

14. What don’t you regret that you probably should?

15. What’s the most intimate thing a couple could do together?

16. Which song lyric has had the biggest impact on you?

17. Do you believe in ghosts, aliens, or any mythical creatures?

18. When do you feel the most attractive?

19. What’s the nicest thing you’ve ever done for someone else?

20. What unanswerable question bothers you the most?

21. What do you think the best part of being married is?

22. Have you ever had a premonition that came true?

23. At what age did you start to consider yourself an adult?

24. What is the meanest thing your inner voice tells you?

25. Do you consider yourself a spiritual person?

26. What do you think your purpose in life is?

27. Were you ever tempted to cheat on a past partner?

28. What do you do when you’re feeling lonely?

29. What type of animal would you like to be reincarnated as?

30. Do you believe every life has an equal value?

31. Do you daydream more about the future or your past?

32. What would instantly make you fall out of love with someone?

33. Do you believe you’re going to be a good parent?

34. What scares you the most about growing old?

35. Do you like the sound of your name?

36. Which celebrity do you think you’d be BFFs with?

37. Do you believe in fortune tellers and tarot cards?

38. How long did it take you to learn to love yourself?

39. What do you think the afterlife consists of?

40. Have you ever manipulated someone to get what you wanted?

41. Do you believe in love at first sight or do you think it takes time to grow?

42. Which celebrity death impacted you the most?

43. Do you write in script or print?

44. Which wild animal do you wish you could keep as a pet?

45. Do you believe in destiny?

46. If you had to get a tattoo to honor someone, who would it be?

47. Do you feel like anything is missing from your life?

48. What’s the most childish thing you still love to do?

49. What bad habit have you managed to break?

50. Do you believe success comes in the form of money or happiness? TC mark