Thought Catalog

14 Sexy Ways To Ride A Man That’ll Give Him The Best Sex Ever (As Told By 14 Real Guys)

Posted: 04 Jan 2017 08:00 PM PST

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Thought Catalog Tumblr

1. Be very careful when sitting

One thing nobody mentioned so far is make sure you position yourself on him so that he is comfortable. Some bloke’s equipment may not be very flexible. Sitting on it wrong, with a forced awkward angle, while pressing down with your full body weight will end up with lot strain and pain. This is especially true if it’s long. Find his natural angle and tilt your pelvis to match his. Everybody is different, so you’d have to suss it out.

And if you do ride a bit more enthusiastically, make sure it won’t slip out, as that could lead to painful injuries in the worst case scenario.

— AntiProtonBoy

2. Motion of the ocean

Lying flat on top of me, close hugging, lots of kissing / eye-contact / resting cheek to cheek, moving slowly and gently, making sure not to let me slip out. A rolling, steady rhythm – motion of the ocean, not duracell bunny pantomime.

— middaysun

3. “Lean down a little”

When you’re on top, you have to do all the work of insertion to make it go smoothly. After that, just do what makes you feel good so long as you’re not hurting your partner. We love it when our lovers get off on us.

Also, lean down a bit so your tits are in his face. That’s double plus good for me, and he may like it too.

— factsmakeyoumad

4. Eye-contact is key

I want to stare at them/you/her while the action is going on. For some reason, the vast majority of the time, having her on top doesn’t do much for me. I need the mental stimulation to actually make it work. having a little cheek-to-tit contact doesn’t do that.

— Tremulant887

5. Take care of the guy, but also take care of you

Up and down feels better for me.

But grinding back and forth will feel better for you.

— Rockyrambo

6. Keep his dick inside you

You know how when I’m fucking you my dick goes in, then it almost comes out, then it goes in, over and over and over again? DO. THAT. 90% of the girls who have ridden me just plop on top and gyrate a bit until I start to get soft and have to ask for a different position.

So, fuck yourself. Just with my penis.

— Ragnrok

7. It’s in the hips and tits

It’s all in the hips. I like the motion when a girl will move up and down on my dick while fondling my balls. It’s the tits.

— BigIrishBalls

8. Make the full “in and out” motion

I want to answer “Enthusiastically!”, but then I remember this one girl…

Just make sure you’re getting a good in-and-out motion. Don’t just wiggle around, expending a ton of energy without actually affecting his penis. Even a grindy, high friction, sort of sideways in-and-out motion can feel amazing; it doesn’t have to be precise.

— DeadFoyer

9. Don’t just grind — bounce on him

I guess for me, the thing I like most is when she’s bouncing up and down, rather than grinding. For me, though, more than how it physically feels, it’s just hot to see and think “This girl is bouncing up and down on me.” The mental aspect of a girl riding me is a huge part of the appeal.

— sykilik101

10. Relax and enjoy it!

Honestly, when she’s on top I want her to do what feels best for her. I want her to relax and enjoy it. If you’re not used to being on top (and I’m assuming he knows this) then take your time, try a few different angles, positions, and motions, figure out what hits you in all the right places. If he’s the vocal sort, then listen for the moaning, if not, then you’ll have to communicate with him on what, explicitly, worked for him and what worked for you.

Also, it’s not always bad to be a bit selfish in bed. It’s ok to chase your own orgasm and then come back to his (provided you come back and work on your partner’s).

— TheDarkHorse83

11. Take control!

A girl being on top is more visually arousing for me than it feeling good. I like it cuz I can last longer and my gf can cum really easily. But take control, and its gonna be a work out so be prepared.

— laxbroskiee

12. Be confident (also grinding can be good)

Ask your man, be confident and just have fun. New positions are great and It’s only awkward if you don’t both communicate what you do and don’t like. Try all variations on top. Some you’ll like more than others. His size, your size, all these factor in. Nothing is sexier than learning how and what to do and the next time you go at it will be better with more experience.

Personally I love the grinding on top, if she’s in control and doesn’t give me time to mentally prepare for the long game I’ll come very fast. Something about not controlling the tempo, the deep wet, grinding, warmth combined with me just focusing on her sexy body just does it for me.

— Xcruciate

13. Up-and-down, please!

Up-and-down is important for him to come, most likely, but he’s happy to be there for whatever while you work on getting off, as long as you don’t leave him too far behind. However, too much altitude on the up-stroke means that he can slip out and then you come down hard on his penis at a bad angle. If he’s close to slipping out of you, calm it down, sister. You don’t want to be donkey-punched by his penis, and he really doesn’t want a leg or buttcheek crushing his penis end-on.

You’ll also have to moderate for your endurance, ability to sustain a position, your motion, and support your own weight. If you need to knock it off or take a breather, slow down, make eye contact, touch hands, and, well, interact (sorry, not a great word for sexy times, but it covers what I’m talking about) with him.

— Sunfried

14. Teamwork makes the sex work

I really enjoyed her being cowgirl on me. we would wait till we were sweaty from other sex till we did this so that she easily slid back and forth on top, I pushed and pulled her hips and she and I got a good rhythm going and that was always a lot of fun… remember teamwork is the key, if something isnt working talk about it so that you can fix it for next time.

— Tetragonos TC mark

This Mother’s Love Advice For Her Daughter Is The Perfect Litmus Test For EVERY Relationship

Posted: 04 Jan 2017 07:18 PM PST

Pixabay / Greyerbaby
Pixabay / Greyerbaby

Imgur user  was going through some tough times in her relationship, weighing whether she should give another chance to her boyfriend who cheated on her. She texted me mom, hoping for some advice, and the feedback she got is applicable to every single relationship.

This is a message my mom sent me back in 2012 when I was trying to figure out whether or not I could forgive my ex after he cheated on me. My mom and dad have been together for 37 years now, and this is honestly the best relationship advice anyone could ever give/receive.

Does your relationship meet these very high, but very important, tests?

via Imgur
via Imgur
via Imgur
via Imgur
via Imgur
via Imgur
via Imgur
via Imgur

This is such good advice! TC mark

I Don’t Care How Fucked Up You Are Because You Still Deserve Love, Effort, And Respect

Posted: 04 Jan 2017 07:00 PM PST

I don’t care if you consider yourself forever alone. If you’ve never had a real boyfriend — only a series of almost relationships where the kisses never became official. Where you were led on and tricked into believing that you’d become a couple and then felt like a fool when it all fell apart.

You deserve more than an almost. You deserve a real relationship with a real man that puts in real effort. You deserve someone that introduces you to his parents and texts you every morning and invites you over during the holidays. You deserve true love instead of an imposter love.

I don’t care if you have anxiety or depression. If you have trouble leaving the house, because your brain is warning your body to stay inside. If it’s hard for others to understand your changes in mood, because your mind works in a different way than everyone else’s does. If you feel alone and scared and hopeless.

You deserve to be loved by someone that understands your illness doesn’t make you weak. It gives you a unique type of strength. If you can get through the day with your disorder — if you can get through life with your disorder — then you can find love with your disorder. And your forever person won’t even mind it. To them, it’ll be a tiny piece of you — not what defines you.

I don’t care if you feel like you’re lost. If you’re unemployed and can’t figure out which career path to follow. If you’re stuck between going after your dreams or your practical aspirations. If you don’t know what the hell you’re doing with your life.

You deserve someone you can figure out the future alongside. Someone that appreciates that you’re a work in progress. Someone that listens as you rant about how confused you are and helps you make the best decision possible. Someone that’s there for you.

I don’t care if you grew up with parents that were fueled by toxic love. Parents that were incapable of sitting at the dinner table without sharing awkward silence and exchanging subtle insults. Parents that made your fingers shake whenever their voices raised, because their fights weren’t normal couple spats. Those fights got bad.

You deserve someone that reminds you what healthy love looks like. Someone that holds your hand during an argument, because they aren’t yelling just to yell — they’re trying to compromise with you so your relationship can stay strong. Hold out for that person. For someone that proves you aren’t destined to become your mother or your father.

I don’t care if every single one of your exes cheated on you. If you’re so used to being used, being discarded, that the disappointment doesn’t even phase you anymore. When boys sleep with you, you don’t expect them to stay the night. And when they ignore your texts, you shrug and text them again. You don’t find it unhealthy. The pain has become normalized.

You deserve someone that looks you in the eyes, swears he’ll remain loyal, and actually follows through on his promise. Someone that shows you that monogamy is real. It’s possible. And it’s beautiful.

I don’t care if you have serious baggage. If you’re dealing with lingering grief over a death. If you have jealousy issues that you’re unable to control. If you have trouble falling asleep at night and can’t pull yourself out of bed in the morning.

You deserve someone that will help shake you out of your misery. Someone that will convince you to stop playing the victim and to move on with your life. Someone that will make you realize there’s more beauty in the world than pain, as long as you train your eyes to see it.

I don’t care if you’re fucked up beyond repair. You still deserve respect. You still deserve effort. You still deserve love. TC mark

I Have To Forgive Myself For Loving You

Posted: 04 Jan 2017 06:00 PM PST

Alessio Lin
Alessio Lin

You were intoxicating, you were mysterious – and I made the grave mistake of falling. It felt electric where your skin met mine, when our gazes locked. There was this deep-rooted connection – it felt like we gravitated toward each other, much like two people dancing this endless tango. But to this day, I do not know – it might have been all in my head. It might have meant something more or it might have just been me. Maybe all you needed was someone to get by while you weren't with her and I was too naïve to interpret your kisses, your banter, your touch as real. The messages you sent got lost in translation – but I was the only one left confused. I turned my back on better things, only to see you turning your back on me.

Now here I was in square one – painfully sober and heartbroken. It's 11:28 in the evening, and just like every other evening I am writing about you. I hoped, over and over again, that if I write about you then I would get the feelings out of my system and I'd be okay. After all, I was just an afterthought, someone to fill the spaces in between where she cannot fill them – you should have been the same to me. But as I wrote endlessly about you, I realized it wasn't that easy. You just don't fall in and out of love like some switch turned on and off.

You left me angry and hurt. You left me feeling like I was used and vulnerable. And you left me feeling like I was the only one to blame. Maybe I was. You didn't ask me to love you – it was my decision, an error on my part. I never thought loving would feel so wrong, but here I was anyway.

I am in love with you. And I have to forgive myself for that. I have to stop being angry with myself for being human. It was a mistake that was both terrifying and beautiful, but a mistake nonetheless – something to learn from, something not to repeat.

So I hope the next time I see you, I could meet your gaze without feeling so heavy with the thought that your eyes are the most beautiful ones I've ever seen. I hope that when I hear you laugh, it won't sound like music to my ears anymore. I hope that when you are deep in your thoughts, I won't feel like you are this intricacy I am dying to understand. I hope that the next time I see you, it won't feel like you are mine – because you were someone I never had. TC mark

When They Tell You To Stay Busy So You Can Forget

Posted: 04 Jan 2017 05:00 PM PST


They look at you and they tell you to stay busy, they tell you to distract yourself and focus on your career, they tell you forget about it and focus on the better things in life — in other words — they ask you to do anything other than feel.

And worst of all, they tell you that it will come when you least expect it to, they ask you not to even expect it, they ask you not to expect love.

But they don't know that even if it comes when you least expect it to, it may still break your heart.

And they don't know that even on your happiest days, you still look sad, that even on your busiest days, you still go home and sleep alone in an empty bed, that even when you're with people who love you, you still wish you could be loved in a different way, you still wish you had a little romance in your life.

Because the truth is 'busy' will only numb the pain, it won't heal it. It will only conceal the scars but the wounds are still there.

When people ask you to stay busy when you're telling them you have a broken heart, it makes you question humanity, it makes you question if they really understand what you're going through and it makes you feel like you're the only one suffering, like no one will ever understand your heart.

But you'll never able to forget when your heart is longing for someone who's not there, you'll never be able to forget when your mind still can't comprehend why things ended before they could even start or why they ended at all and you'll never be able to forget when you're closing a deal or celebrating a promotion or a birthday and you wish you shared this moment with someone because you know that they have the ability to turn the good into great and the normal into extraordinary.

The only way to truly forget is when you're ready to move one or when someone else comes in and shows you what you've been missing or maybe when you get all the answers to the questions you were left with.

When they tell you to stay busy so you can forget, ask them if busy ever cured their loneliness or how they truly feel when they're not busy anymore and how they truly feel before they go to sleep. TC mark

This Is How To Turn Him Into Your Boyfriend, Based On His Zodiac Sign

Posted: 04 Jan 2017 04:00 PM PST

Aries: March 21st – April 19th

Stop sending him subtly flirty messages. Stop mentioning how you miss him and then never actually planning a date. Look him dead in the eyes and tell him he’s taking you to the movies and picking you up at eight. To him, straightforward women are sexy women.

Taurus: April 20th – May 20th

Buy him a gift. Something small that shows him you’ve been paying attention. His favorite flavor of milkshake. A DVD of his favorite movie. A phone case in his favorite color. It’ll make him realize how lucky he is to have someone like you.

Gemini: May 21st – June 20th

He’s going to be turned on by your talent, so use that to your advantage. If you play an instrument, invite him to a performance. If you write, send him your latest story. If you sing, bring him to a karaoke bar. Let him see you in action.

Cancer: June 21st – July 22nd

Cancers love love. If he’s single, then he’s probably wishing he was in a relationship. That’s why you should tell him that he’d make a great boyfriend. That any girl would be lucky to have him. That you wish you had someone like him. Amp up his ego.

Leo: July 23rd – August 22nd

Leos want to feel attractive. That’s why you should compliment him on his physical appearance. Tell him how sexy his muscles are and how his eyes pop when he wears blue. Make it clear that you’re sexually attracted to him.

Virgo: August 23rd – September 22nd

Virgos are shy, so you have to make the first move. Just don’t do anything too extreme and scare him off. That means you shouldn’t invite him over to your apartment and walk him straight to your bedroom. Start by hanging out one-on-one at a coffee shop or a diner.

Libra: September 23rd – October 22nd

He’s active and loves the outdoors, which is why you should invite him on a run or at least a walk. While you stroll around the park, you can trade stories and get to know each other better. The more time you spend together, the faster he’ll realize you’re the girl for him.

Scorpio: October 23rd – November 21st

Kiss him. I know, I know, it seems drastic. But it’ll get your point across. Scorpios aren’t interested in talking about feelings or defining relationships. They’re affected by actions more than words. So, if you want him, show him.

Sagittarius: November 22nd – December 21st

He’s impatient, so you don’t want to wait too long to make your move. Invite him over to your place. Watch a movie with him. And if you’re not ready for a kiss, at least lean on his shoulder so he knows you’re interested in him.

Capricorn: December 22nd – January 19th

He’s independent, so don’t make him feel suffocated. When you ask him to hang out, act casual. When you text him, don’t send ten messages in a row. Give him room to breathe, so he doesn’t freak out and run off.

Aquarius: January 20th – February 18th

Men like him enjoy grand, romantic gestures. So after you get to know him, write him a poem. Learn his favorite song on guitar. Serenade him through his window. Do something elaborate. Something so crazy that it appears genius.

Pisces: February 19th – March 20th

Pisces are social, which means he probably has a lot of female friends. That’s why you have to make it clear that you’re not just being friendly — you’re being flirty. If you don’t make your feelings abundantly obvious, then he’s never going to get the hint. TC mark

I Hope In The New Year You Quit

Posted: 04 Jan 2017 03:00 PM PST

I hope in the New Year, you quit being afraid and finally go after that thing that scares you.

I hope you quit hanging on to the past and letting it interfere with the present.

I hope in the New Year, you quit settling and wait for what you deserve, even if that means waiting a long time.

I hope you quit hating yourself and fixating upon flaws you can't change. I hope you look at your reflection with the admiration it deserves.

I hope in the New Year, you quit doing something that doesn't make you happy even if you don't know what does yet.

I hope you quit a job you hate even if that means you'll be broke for a little while.

I hope in The New Year, you quit bad company and begin to surround yourself with people who enhance your life and make it better.

I hope you quit that relationship that isn’t going anywhere.

I hope in The New Year, you quit living up to other people's expectations of how you’re supposed to live your life.

I hope you quit killing yourself to makes others happy and start trying to make yourself happy.

I hope in the New Year, you quit lying to yourself about what you really want and find the courage to go after it.

I hope you quit comparing yourself to others and start by comparing yourself to the person you were yesterday.

I hope in The New Year, you quit running from love and let it find you.

I hope you quit thinking you’re in a rush to get somewhere and learn to appreciate the moment.

I hope in The New Year, you quit walking down the path of someone else's choosing and go after your dreams, no matter how crazy they might be.

I hope you quit being stressed. You quit feeling pressure. I hope you find the core to what is causing these feelings and simply quit.

I hope in The New Year, you quit holding onto your ex because it's over and you need to quit thinking he'll come back.

I hope you quit needing people and learn to love yourself and your company.

I hope in The New Year, you quit going out when you'd rather stay in and not feel bad about it.

I hope you quit looking back and dwelling over where you were and start focusing on where you are going.

I hope in The New Year, you quit waking up unhappy and find what it is that will make you want to get out of bed in the morning.

But most of all I hope you quit holding yourself back.

Quit tolerating less than you deserve. Quit settling. Quit living someone else's life. Simply quit.

Quit until you’re leading a life that fills you with such joy and happiness you wish you found the courage to quit sooner. TC mark

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This Is The Pain Of Missing You

Posted: 04 Jan 2017 02:00 PM PST

Seth Doyle
Seth Doyle

Today I woke up, the dream of us lingering like a fog over my thoughts and skin, until the sun breaks. And then, degree-by-degree, the peace of us together burns off, and I remember the pain. You are gone. And I am missing you.

I drank my coffee black this morning, only to hold on to the warm cup that you would have held, sipping in the bitter you would have, even though I always preferred mine with cream.

I forced myself to eat. Fruit has been the only thing that I can manage. Everything else feels stuck, as if I swallowed concrete. I can't tell if I am hungry anymore. It doesn't seem to matter against the grey.

Today I am missing you. Tomorrow feels much the same. A hole is there inside of me, where the memory of you sits, stark against the black.

How does one stop the missing? Does it fade? Or do people find a way to busy their thoughts so much that it becomes lost in the noise of living? Right now the noise of my living is still quiet. But the quiet is deafening with your loss. Maybe my living isn't loud enough.

3 months later.

I tried to live loud. I danced until my feet hurt. Drank until my head spun. Ate new foods. Went to new places. Met new people. Learned new things. Worked. God, I worked. The days and to-do lists and have-done lists grew and filled time. But when the world goes quiet, there you are, the missing still as sharp as ever. Can you ever forget the love of your life?

12 months later.

I met someone new. He is much like you… except that he isn't. Maybe I am just trying to replace your memory with a simulacrum of another. I still see you in my dreams. You still linger. I am missing you. It isn't fair to him to still be holding on to you.

18 months later.

The quiet is getting easier. But you still remain.

24 months later.

I can sit in the stillness of morning and remember you and smile. Somehow you have become a part of me, incorporated into my skin and blood and bones. I am still missing you, but I am not crippled by it. I have realized I will always be missing you. Time has just made it easier to accept. Time has allowed me to learn to be okay with that. TC mark

I’m Deleting Snapchat, And You Should Too

Posted: 04 Jan 2017 01:00 PM PST

Saulo Mohana
Saulo Mohana

Snapchat is the prime example of what happens when you don't have enough people of color building a product.

In recent history, in the Audacity of Whiteness: Snapchat released a blatantly racist yellowface filter, which excessively slants your eyes, rounds cheeks, and adds buckteeth for good measure. The company maintains this filter is "anime-inspired."

Buuuullshit. Anime characters are known for their angled faces, spiky and colorful hair, large eyes, and vivid facial expressions.

This is quite literally yellowface, a derogatory and offensive caricature of Asians.

Chin-Kee, a character illustrating this stereotype from Gene Luen Yang's American Born Chinese.

Snapchat faced a similar controversy in April, when they thought it was a good idea to create a Bob Marley filter on 420, which gave users dreadlocks and digital blackface.

And even for those filters that aren't as overtly offensive, they subtly reinforce white superiority and reveal the lack of diversity in the product's creators. Many of the lenses (flower crown, butterfly crown) whitewash users' skin and lighten their eye color.

All of these examples, while baffling, do not come as a particular surprise. Snapchat's CEO Evan Spiegel, spoke on the company's diversity in an interview with Recode last summer:

Mossberg: Can you describe your diverse group of people? I mean, what are some of the percentages, if you have them?

Spiegel: Again, this is sort of the challenge, and I should have exact percentages for you but we just don't think about diversity in terms of numbers that way. And I think that one of the perks of being a really small company is, from the beginning, we got to think about diversity, so we didn't end up with a situation where, 10 years down the line, "Oh my gosh, I need to fix my numbers." Because it's not really cool to think of people as numbers. We think about people and diverse skill sets. We're 300 people now; we were 30 people a year and a half ago. We've been really mindful that, as we grow, we need to hire diverse folks, and so I'm sure we'll have specific numbers to share at some point, but it's been a part of our growth.


I've deleted Snapchat. I'd urge you to do the same. They've repeatedly demonstrated their blasé attitude towards issues of diversity, inclusion and representation. I don't know what their diversity numbers look like, but even if there are people of color working there, they're clearly not (a) in positions where they feel comfortable speaking up or (b) their input isn't valued at the same level as some white male exec who says: hey, you know what would be chill? A yellowface filter but let's call that shit anime.

Thankfully, Instagram now has a Snapchat Stories clone so I'll still be able to take mundane pictures of my day to day life.

Tech is full of white male elites, and without people of color both present and occupying positions of power and decision-making, our future will only continue to get more white. TC mark

This Is How I Will Love You

Posted: 04 Jan 2017 12:00 PM PST


I won’t call you beautiful only because of your stunning body, but because I see what other people don’t see and experience, that which is on the inside.

I won’t say that I love you only when we share our most intimate and special parts, but because I truly and deeply love you.

I won’t ever tell you the things that light you up because I feel obligated to do so, or because they make you feel good, but because I really do mean every single word.

I won’t ever feel bad when we are in public and people notice you.I’ll squeeze your hand and pull you in for a kiss, for I will never be ashamed of you.

I won’t ever give up my love for you.

I won’t ever try to change you, not in any way, because darling, you are perfect just the way you are.

I won’t ever allow anyone to call you names that are quite degrading or insulting because they don’t know you like I do. For you I’ll go to war, literally.

I won’t allow anything and anyone come between us for the love that we have is too good to give up.

I won’t take chances with you. You are too precious for me to lose.

I won’t think of you only when I’ll be in desperate need of your body, but because I’ll be really missing your company, your warm smile that makes everything go away. The smile that creates a whole new world.

I won’t ever hesitate to introduce you to my family and friends because what I feel, what we have, is far greater than what anyone thinks.

I won’t ever take your love for granted.

I’m still learning to love someone like you and no matter how long it takes me, I’ll take my time. I’ll learn you. I’ll learn how to love someone like you.

Now take my hand, let’s walk this journey called love. TC mark