Thought Catalog


What To Do When You Can’t Sleep At Night

Posted: 07 Jan 2017 09:00 PM PST

jessie essex
jessie essex

Start by tossing and turning. Rearrange your pillows twelve times. Try laying on your left side, then right, then back to left, then on your belly, then vampire style, then back to the left. Kick the blankets to the edge of the bed and then discover you’re freezing so pull them back up to your chin and burrow. Stare at the clock. Wonder how it became 2:15 AM so quickly and why you’re not even tired. Mentally retrace your steps. Did you have coffee later than you should’ve? Would you still be in this position if you’d gone with your inner old-person gut and asked for decaf? Is the coffee really to blame at all? Is espresso responsible or is it just you? Get in your head. Wonder if anyone else is as awake as you are right at this second. Wish you had someone to talk to even though you would have zero idea what to even say to someone when you’re in an insomniac state and are feeling lonely. Deflect. Find lavender essential oils somewhere in your apartment and try to go homeopathic with it. You can get to sleep. You know you can. Breathe in deeply. Close your eyes. Exhale slowly. Curse yourself when you’re still sitting there, breathing like you’re in labor but are no closer to actually being able to drift away. Wander to the fridge. Bask in its weird light for a second. Repeat that Charlotte’s Web quote you’ve never forgotten over and over. “When your stomach is empty but your mind is full, it’s very hard to sleep.” Wonder if your mind has just been too full for 20-some odd years and that’s why you’re always awake. Reach for a wine bottle. Only take a sip. Put it back and immediately brush your teeth because you don’t want to be that person. Scroll through Instagram on your phone. Compare yourself to the girls in face masks with dewy skin and no dark circles. Internalize your insecurities about your appearance and blame that pulsating anxiety for why you’re still awake. Set three alarms because you know you’ll sleep through at least the first. Wish you were different. Wish this was different. Wish everything was different. Remember the times when sleep was easy. When going to bed was your favorite part of every day. When snuggling up in bed wasn’t a chore. Wasn’t something else you failed at. Laugh at yourself for being such a masochist that you consider your inability to sleep a failure. Still wish you could talk to someone. Even just to say, “I’m tired of being tired.” Curl back into bed, around that twelfth pillow, under those blankets, and turn on your computer. You might as well face it; the only company you have is the glow of a MacBook. And that’s just the way it’s going to be until everyone else wakes up. Swear to yourself that tomorrow, you’ll try to go to bed early. Know that it’s probably another lie. Swear it anyway. TC mark

36 Men Confess The Kinky Sexual Secrets They’ve Never Told Anyone

Posted: 07 Jan 2017 08:00 PM PST

Illustration by Daniella Urdinlaiz
Illustration by Daniella Urdinlaiz
Found on AskReddit.

1. I walked in on my sister practicing her oral sex techniques on a banana.

"I walked in on my sister practicing her oral sex techniques on a banana."
WhisperingCuntFarts


2. I wound up in the hospital after I tried to eat her ass out in the shower.

"My S.O. had to take me to the hospital because I had a large amount of fluid (water) in my lungs because I tried to eat her ass out in the shower and the water funneled down her butt crack into my face and drowned me."
gianmahko


3. I like to put things in my butt, but I fucked up my butthole and now it’s more difficult to poop.

"I like to put things in my butt, but I fucked up my butthole and now it’s more difficult to poop."
HatKid-IV


4. My best friend is secretly my boyfriend.

"My best friend is secretly my boyfriend. We’re both guys."
PiePirate69


5. Sometimes I dress in drag and go to Victoria's Secret dressing rooms and jack off in the panties.

"Sometimes I dress in drag and go to Victoria's Secret dressing rooms and jack off in the panties. I buy them of course (I'm not a sicko)."
Crispy_socks241


6. I was recently fucked in the ass by two black sisters with a dildo.

"I am a Caucasian male.

I was recently fucked in the ass by two black sisters with a dildo. The younger one was training my nicer online 'date.'

They made me shout 'Obama is my master' and 'I am a proud black man.' I didn’t shout loud enough so cray-cray threatened to make me go out onto the hotel balcony.

It was horribly uncomfortable because it was a big dildo. I think people heard us and were weirded out.

I’m going to try to get together with the sane one, but fortunately the younger one won’t be there. She was a bit crazy."
thrawaydnsthindxy


7. Virgin underage asshole, meet gigantic dog cock.

"I’m male, and when I was much, much younger. -7 year old then, 23 now.- I accidentally stumbled upon a porn site, with nothing but gay bestiality videos, and being a curious little twat. I immediately went and found my weird.. abomination of a dog (was a mutt, nothing but generations of large breeds that usually don’t go together) and stripped down, got down on all fours. And tried to get him to 'make me feel good like the weird men.' And after a few minutes of him licking at my ass, which.. upon reflecting on the act.. felt absolutely incredible. He mounted. Virgin underage asshole, meet gigantic dog cock. And for reference, imagine.. say, a soda can with a grapefruit at the base. I squealed like a bitch. Never did that again. Until.. like.. 10 years later. Taboo, but legal where i was."
bushwookie01


8. Fapped in the Vatican City.

"Fapped in the Vatican City, yes, I fapped in the holiest place on earth."
razorpigeon


9. Jerked off in a mosque.

"Jerked off in a mosque."
kirlisabun


10. Routinely sucked off one of the guys on the football team behind the bleachers in gym class.

"Routinely sucked off one of the guys on the football team behind the bleachers in gym class freshman year in high school. Found him back there fapping one day (basically, what’s that noise? crawled behind the bleachers and saw a beautiful sight) and managed to ask if he needed help. 15-year-old me was very happy I did and we spent most gym classes behind the bleachers with him feeding me his cum. Some days twice in the same class."
cajunrajing


11. I used to bang my aunt.

"I used to bang my aunt. I was around 25, she was 35 and hot as hell. We used to chat about stuff online and one night we were both drinking, and it turns out she gets uncontrollably horny when you talk dirty to her. She was wild. I don’t know if she ever told anyone. I didn’t."
KevWill


12. I was banging a daughter and her mother at the same time.

"I was banging a daughter and her mother at the same time. I met the daughter in OKC and the mom in casual encounters. I woke up after spending the night at mom’s house to discover pictures of her daughter."
threepandas


13. I made a makeshift Fleshlight using a cut-off Pringles can, two sponges, a condom and lotion.

"When I was 14 years old I made a makeshift Fleshlight using a cut-off Pringles can, two sponges, a condom and lotion.

It didn’t stop there, though. I wanted to reach nirvana so bad thad I disassembled a table fan, removed the fan blade and attached the Pringles can to the axis. My idea was that this would make that shit rotate on my dick in 120rpm, and believe me, it did.

After 20 seconds of action, the Pringles can skewed a but and my dick slipped out. The Pringles can then slinged lotion all over my walls, my ceiling, the cat and even my monitor."
Cismonova


14. When I was beating off I accidentally squirted shit on the floor.

"When I was beating off I accidentally squirted shit on the floor. I panicked and had no idea on how to start cleaning. I ended up getting the carpet cleaner out, waking my mother up and blaming it on the dogs."
Twerk4moneY


15. I broke my best friend's toilet having sex on it with my girlfriend.

"I broke my best friend's toilet having sex on it with my girlfriend. It flooded the room."
derangedraptor


16. I was a very sexually unaware kid until my best friend’s babysitter made us an offer when we were 12.

"I was a very sexually unaware kid until my best friend’s babysitter made us an offer when we were 12: If we behaved ourselves all day she would show us her tits. I wasn’t that excited to see them but my friend was thrilled and immediately agreed. When she removed her bra, it was my sexual awakening; my brain shouted Eureka!

And when I say my brain I mean my penis."
SageRiBardan


17. I Scotch-taped my foreskin.

"I Scotch-taped my foreskin. I was 17 years old and was unhappy with the size with my junk. I had learned in sex-ed that puberty stops at around 18, so I figured that I had roughly one year for my penis to reach full growth. I was never circumcised, so I came to the brilliant conclusion that the reason my dick is so small is because my foreskin had been stunting its growth all these years. I grabbed some Scotch tape, pulled back my foreskin, and taped it. I figured if I kept it pulled back for a few weeks, I would probably grow a couple inches to compensate for all the years it hibernating inside my foreskin. I kept it up for about 10 days, having to reapply new tape 2 or 3 times a day…It didn’t help my size."
CharlieBrownShirt


18. Gave myself a money shot.

"In my younger years, I got back from a two-week trip oversees and my GF at the time gave me my first BJ. We were each other’s firsts so everything was a new experience and when I finally came she stopped going down on me moved my member away from her…and pointed it right at my face. Gave myself a money shot. Should’ve been impressed at how much there was shooting out."
CosmicNoire


19. I was a virgin 19-year-old student off for the summer, and she was a 36-year-old divorcee with a hysterectomy.

"I worked at a landscaping place one summer. It was a failing business, so for most of the time it was just the manager and I. I was a virgin 19-year-old student off for the summer, and she was a 36-year-old divorcee with a hysterectomy.

The business closed, and she was going to move to a different town. I went to help her move, and she started telling me that she had some boxes in the bedroom that needed moving. As soon as we get to the room, she throws herself at me. We banged 4 times that day.

She moved out of town, and would fly me to her new place for sex. Every weekend I went, I would come home with a penis that was so sore it hurt to walk.

I visited her all the way up until I started dating my wife. I still have a friendship with her, but it's no longer physical.

TLDR: lost my virginity to my boss."
whtwebb


20. I snatched up my female friend's panties and gave them the biggest sniff imaginable.

"I was at a female friend’s house when I was 16. We were just friends. Not even particularly close. Anyway, I popped into her bathroom to take a piss before rolling out, and saw a pair of her panties in the hamper. Being a piece of shit, I snatched them up and gave them the biggest sniff imaginable.

I instantly regretted it.

That shit was rank, y’all. Like 'I've been wearing these and sweating into them for five showerless days' rank.

I got what I deserved."
Jrubas


21. I have succeeded in sucking my own dick.

"I have succeeded in sucking my own dick. Many times. But every time I did it, I regretted it because my chest and back REALLY fucking hurt the day after.

No, I didn’t finish in my mouth.

Yes, it felt like getting your dick sucked, as long as you focus on that part and not that you have a dick in your mouth…"
1neverusingthisagain


22. I slipped nude Polaroids of me into women's books at the library..

"When I was a teenager, an elderly neighbor lady asked me to house-sit and take care of her dogs while she went on vacation. It was great, I just sat around and smoked pot most of the time. One day I noticed she had a Polaroid instant camera and lots of film sitting around, and I got naked and took a bunch of nude pictures of myself in the mirror, mostly full body pics except for my face, and always with a hard-on, and a bunch of pics of my hard dick (this was in the late 1970’s BTW, it wasn’t like today when you could just take a cellphone pic). So days later, I was sitting home with this stack of selfie nudes… what should I do with them? I was too worried that my parents, my sister, a burglar- who knows- would find them and know what I looked like naked (I was still a very shy virgin at the time). I didn’t want to just throw them away, that would be a waste of such sexy pictures. I wanted someone to see them ( a woman, of course), but not anyone who knew me.

So I went to the local library, and I started browsing through books women usually read- sewing, knitting, baking, etc.- and I’d slip one of the pictures in each book until the stack was gone. As I finished placing the pictures in the pages, I remembered that one of my hot MILF-Y neighbors frequently checked out books like that from the library, I’d seen them in her house many times. I panicked, and I almost went back to try and remove the photos, thinking that she’d somehow recognize me, or the interior of our mutual neighbor’s house. But after thinking about it, I got incredibly aroused thinking that she just might see those pictures, and even if she didn’t know it was me, that she’d get turned on by them and pleasure herself to my pictures, that became a regular masturbatory fantasy for the next few weeks.

This happened 35 or 40 years ago, and I still wonder if any of those pictures are still out there, either saved in someone’s nightstand drawer or still tucked away in a book about how to crochet a sweater."
mythr0waw8y


23. Classrooms at my church wasn’t used outside of Friday Bible study and Sunday school so it was my go-to spot for sex during HS.

"Classrooms at my church wasn’t used outside of Friday Bible study and Sunday school so it was my go-to spot for sex during HS, often with girls from the same Sunday school group."
badassmthrfkr


24. I had sex in public while homeless guys jerked off.

"So I read about how to score with girls, took CBT courses for anxiety, went on an OKCupid date. Dinner, bar which previously gave me anxiety. Conversation going well. Brush up against her, she likes it. Hand on thigh. Oh yes. She asks if I live in the city, I say no I drove here. She says let’s go to your car.

So we’re busy in the car, having sex in the front seat and homeless men approach. I tell her there are people and she said that’s hot. I turn around but she says no and we resumed sex.

That is how I had sex in public while homeless guys jerked off."
yoohoodoodly


25. I jerked off to the Rockettes at Radio City Music Hall.

"I jerked off to the Rockettes at Radio City Music Hall. Class trip in 6th? Grade. The theatre was cold and my whole class was using their jackets as blankets. I had a huge down bubble jacket that was like having an invisibility cloak. I was nearly caught by my friend to my right who asked if I was OK and said he could feel my shaking elbow on our shared armrest. I told him I was freezing. He gave me his coat on top of mine. After I came I told him I wasn’t cold anymore and gave him back his jacket."
Jellyeleven


26. I sucked my brother's dick.

"I shared a room with my older brother for most of my childhood. When we were pretty little, we used to stay up together when we were supposed to be in bed. Most of the time that involved me going in his bed and watching him play Gameboy all night.

One night, however, when I was probably 4 or 5, he asked me if my dick ever got hard randomly. I told him yeah, and something about how I thought that meant it was growing. Somehow this slowly escalated to him showing me his dick and I have the vaguest memory of him convincing me to suck on it. I sucked my brother's dick."
ChewsOnRocks


27. I was an unknowing facilitator of a cuckold fantasy.

"I was an unknowing facilitator of a cuckold fantasy. I met a girl on a dating site who was in an 'open relationship.' We pretty much established we were going to hook up and fuck because I had been dumped recently and was in a total man whore, gonna get my freak on rebound phase. We met at a bar and she said her boyfriend was at work but he knew she was on a date. Went back to her place and started banging and turns out he was actually there in the other room jacking it to our sounds. He ended up making noise after I was done and getting ready to leave and I inquired and she opened up about it. I wasn’t hurt or felt used or anything (I mean, it was a straight up let’s banging it out and say goodbye meet up). The ultimate NSFW is that I wished he’d come into the room and watched me dom the hell out of his girlfriend ;)"
ohmygramsci


28. I used to have sleepovers with this one girl and I used to lick her asshole.

"When I was younger I was exposed to pornography. I didn’t know what it was but I was intrigued

(I’m gonna blame my shit father for allowing his 6 year old son to find this)

So I noticed the man was going down on the girl. But I saw it as he was licking her bumhole.

So I used to have sleepovers with this one girl and I used to lick her asshole, her ass, and once, her vagina (outside of it).

I realized as I got older how fucked it was.

I regret it so much because I literally molested her in her sleep.

Never told anyone and never will because of how fucked up it is."
ThrowMeAwayWenUrdone


29. As a kid I use to go in the woods and masturbate 'til I couldn’t cum anymore then eat it.

"As a kid I use to go in the woods and masturbate 'til I couldn’t cum anymore then eat it. I’m a guy.

I also use to 'fuck' the leather chair we had and what did I use for lube? My parents piƱa colada lube. I fucked that chair up."
Pm_Me_Ur_Fun_Buns


30. I defiled the innocence of Disney World.

"My girlfriend blew me on Spaceship Earth at Disney World.

During my senior of high school, my girlfriend and I went on a school trip to Disney World. I was 17 and used to getting off at least day, but was unable to because there was basically no privacy or time for sex or masturbating. My pipes were backed up.

On the 5th and final day, we were at Epcot. There was basically no one in the park and we headed towards spaceship earth. It is a dark and slow moving ride that is constantly moving in a circle. With no one in our line of sight, we start making out and she goes down on me. Within 30 seconds, I blow the biggest load of my life. She lifts her head with her cheeks puffed out and her hand cupping all my extra jizz. She turns and spits SPLAT and flicks her hand SPLAT. She slowly turns back with an incredulous look and says, 'Oh my god. That was. So. Much.' :)

I defiled the innocence of Disney World."
Whatsgoodbro


31. I fucked my landlady when I was 21 and knocked her up.

"I fucked my landlady when I was 21 and knocked her up. She aborted and I was sad. Her daughter moved in with her downstairs and I started a sexual relationship with her too. This is a tiny part of an epic long story involving 3 pregnancies 2 abortions and a lot of bad choices (I am in my 40s now, and have grown up since I was 20.)"
misery_man


32. My sister and I used to play a game called 'I bet you won't.'

"My sister and I used to play a game called 'I bet you won't.' The game mostly consisted of us doing things that would piss our parents off… but seldom it would be a game of exploring our sexuality. We were around 8 and 9 years old at the time and probably didn’t know any better. during these progressive times, we would flash our genitals at each other and 'bet' that the other would not +/-touch parts of out bodies…I still masturbate to those memories to this day."
Icum4theMustache


33. I gave a guy head and liked it.

"I gave a guy head and liked it. I’m a guy."
easyalpha4fun


34. One time I jizzed on my girlfriend's mom's dog.

"One time I jizzed on my girlfriend's mom's dog. It was like between the 3rd and 6th blowjob I had ever gotten, her parents were not home and I was on the edge of the bed while she was on the ground, anyways she is blowing me and right when I am about to burst she just matrix bullet dodges my load and it shoots like 4 feet back all over the dog that I didn’t realize was watching."
youtrikkin


35. I got my first blowjob from my stepsister.

"I got my first blowjob from my stepsister. On the night of our parents' wedding, down the hall from them."
budgybudge


36. I love inserting things in my butt.

"I’m a completely straight, recently married dude, but I love inserting things in my butt. I started off small as a child. I’d put bobby pins in to make sure they’d come back out. Then I graduated to marbles, bouncy balls, etc. I kept going bigger, eventually putting lemons, apples and the like. I finally could fit whole soda cans. Then my fist, and this large glow in the dark dog toy. Pro tip, dog toys are totally sex toy copy cats. I use to bleed sometimes when I’d find a new object that stretched me to new limits, but not anymore. My wife knows about it, although it makes her slightly uncomfortable when I do it behind her back. She agreed to experiment with me later, she just wants to enjoy some less kinky stuff in marriage first. Not a single other soul knows about it."
Trumpology TC mark

Read this: 36 Women Confess The Kinky Sexual Secrets They've Never Told Anyone

13 People Tell Their Most Hilarious ‘I Didn’t Expect To Have Sex Today’ Story

Posted: 07 Jan 2017 07:00 PM PST

Pixabay / sasint
Pixabay / sasint

1. Her best friend had just died.

Her best friend had just died and we went to the showing. Sitting in her car afterwards, I was trying to console her while she was crying. I reached across and hugged her then realized she hadn’t hugged me back but had actually slipped her hand into my pants while still crying. Weirdest boner I’ve ever had.

— fireinvestigator113

2. Healthy expression we are still alive?

My first sexual experience was when a friend went down on me when I drove him home from a wake. Mutual friend had died in a pretty bad car accident, foggy morning, pulled out in front of an 18 wheeler she couldn’t see.

I brought it up with a therapist in college and he said it was a healthy expression that we were both still alive. Thinking of it that way, not too weird.

— jaesin

3. Study buddies

Asked girl in class if she wanted to study. I ate her out for a hour or so. She sucked my dick for 30 seconds. Got B on exam.

— SemiProPainter

4. Wanna “walk the dog??”

A girl I knew but wasn’t real close friends with one day texted me asking if I wanted to go walk her dog with her.

I got there, was invited in, got a doobie pushed in my hands with a beer. Turns out she didn’t have a dog, we watched a movie, about halfway through she starts giving me a blowjob.

Best walk ever.

— Octosphere

5. A very NOT boring night shift

Working the night shift in a hospital. The delivery room services was quiet and calm, so I decide to stroll around the hospital. Found a female intern, which I hang out with and have a smoke during boring night shifts.

As we’re smoking outside the hospital, we started making out. She mention that the classrooms on the top floor are, sometimes, open and are private. We go to the top floor. One empty classroom is open. We bang on the floor. Wasn’t expecting to bang that night.

The floor was cold and hard, my knees hurts after being done, we didn’t get enough sleep cause we were fucking. Still, 10/10. Would have hospital sex again.

— DR_PM_ME_UR_MAMARIES

6. Old flame magically appears

It was a random Saturday in the summertime, around 1-2 am, and I was home alone just enjoying a night in when from out of nowhere someone’s ringing my doorbell.

I freak out before realizing that it’s an old fuck buddy who I hadn’t seen in a few months, completely trashed off his ass. he said he was driving through my neighborhood and really needed to pee, and my house was the closest place he could think of.

I took his keys, let him do the needful, and afterwards suggested that he hang out with me in my bedroom watching tv until he sobered up (not a ploy, my bedroom was the only room in my house with decent AC at the time)

we watched Netflix, we talked, and eventually we passed out in bed together. I woke up a few hours later to him going down on me, which escalated pretty quickly into fucking. we went back to sleep and fucked again in the morning.

afterwards, we showered together, had breakfast, and that was the last time I ever saw him.

— loki8481

7. “Shut up and just fuck me”

I had a girl over and we started talking about making blanket forts as kids, so naturally, I grabbed a bunch of blankets and pillows and we made one! I went and got some flashlights and turned off the lights, then next thing I know we start making out, clothes start coming off, I asked, “Is this actually happening?” and she replied, “Shut up and just fuck me.”

— ParanoidBlanketFort

8. “It’s not like we are going to have sex”

Went on a first date with this girl in college. She lived in the nice housing complex on campus and it was the Friday before spring break. All her roommates had gone home already for the vacation. We were sitting on the couch having a semi-deep conversation after we got back. She excused herself to go change into her PJ’s. She invited me into her room and joked when she saw me take her desk chair while she was in bed: “it’s fine you can sit on my bed, it’s not like we’re gonna have sex”.

Literally like 3 minutes later, we started having sex.

That was the only time I’ve ever had a FWB/fling situation, lasted about a month, but god dammit it was the highlight of my life.

— echtav

9. The power of a good suit

I gave a presentation in one of my classes and after the day just went back to my place. My GF had never seen me in a suit before, so when she came in she just said “you’re going to fuck me, damn it!” I never realized the power of a good suit until then.

— koenigseggfire

10. Best work shift ever

I was working as a server at a restaurant and we had a beautiful new hostess start working there recently. We both happened to be closing one night when I told her that she looks how I would describe the perfect woman. One of the hostess closing duties is doing the mirrors in the bathroom. I walked into the mens room as she was cleaning them. I turn to walk back out and she tell me not to. It was a blur before both our pants were down and I was inside her.

I came to work expecting tips but I didn’t expect to be giving anyone mine.

— kevik72

11. Fucked in the office before coffee (basically)

I was an adult entertainer for a couple of years. Having sex with the patrons was obviously illegal but as you can imagine it happened. The one time it surprised me is I was first in for an early spot. It was 4:30 and a pretty girl walked in, and sat in a dark corner near one of the smaller satellite bars. I just had gotten dressed hadn’t even been on stage yet and the DJ had probably played one or two songs since we opened. I was sober (rare when dancing and hadn’t taken any G which was my go to drug of choice.)

She ushered me over and asked for a table dance. Fine. I begin moving and she immediately spreads her legs on the bar stool and she has a shaved and pierced pussy. I go rock hard, but keep dancing. She then tells me she is also a dancer and has a 6:00 shift at the Pink Pony.

“Was on my way to work and got horny…” So before you could say hump and grind I was in her… We quickly finished up, thankfully no waitresses were on the floor, doormen were elsewhere getting ready for the night and my manager was probably doing lines in the office. We cleaned up, she tipped me well and she was gone. All in the space of 10 minutes. It was like getting fucked in the office before your first coffee.

— Just1morefix

12. Car sex with new friend

My buddy asked me to hang out and meet his friend Sabrina. We were hanging out driving around when Sabrina starts getting frisky with me. We were going down the 91 freeway with music blaring and this girl I met about an hour ago riding the shit out of me in the backseat. Great day, Noah your the best wingman.

— Mikester245

13. I fucked a married woman on her husband’s cousin’s car

Probably the time I went to a beach party at my friend’s place, as the only single guy. Her friend’s wife was excessively hot to me, and was in a bikini top, which was difficult for me because I don’t wanna be ogling some married woman. I’m looking for a place to sit and she offers me a spot on the towel next to her, I act like I don’t notice because I don’t wanna end up making moves, but my completely oblivious friend is like “Dude she’s making a spot for you right there.”

So I sit down and we start talking, she is very very obviously interested in me and within ten minutes I excuse myself to go back to the cars parked a ways away to “check my phone”, she says she has to use the bathroom, few minutes later I’m nailing her doggystyle on the hood of her husband’s cousin’s car, about 500 yards from the party.

I thought I was the shittiest person in the world for a few minutes after, until I figured out that she and her husband were into that and he completely knew what we were doing.

— Unconfidence TC mark

50 Truly Terrifying Creepy Stories That’ll Scare You Into Perpetual Insomnia

Posted: 07 Jan 2017 06:00 PM PST

Tony Ciampa
Tony Ciampa

1. Creepy passenger on cruise tries to break down my door

So I’m female, late thirties and I’m a travel counselor for a large tour company. We are pretty well known so I’m not going to be dropping any names for anonymity sake. That being said what occurred here is 100% for real, and yes I know everyone claims that on here but you’ll just have to take my word.

So as a travel counselor (fancy schmancy way of saying travel agent) I book many cruises, both my company and the many cruise lines offer us in the industry what’s known as a fam trip, to familiarize us with what the cruise line offers. So I was approached two weeks before the holidays with the chance to take such a trip on a four night cruise to the Baja peninsula, it left the day after Christmas. Since my husband had a big guys trip with his BFF lined up I thought perfect! My in laws have been begging us to watch our seven year old daughter so she went to grandmas and I went on a free cruise. What could go wrong? A little sand, surf, sun and while it’s winter 66 degree days are much warmer than the teens and below zeros we have up north.

The flight was perfect, the embarking went as smooth as butter. The lovely balcony room I was put on was wonderful, so far so good right? That night I’m at dinner and a Indian man sits next to me, now this struck me as odd as there were several empty seats available. He strikes up conversation, introduces himself and says he’s traveling with his elderly parents, sister and her family. He’s 26, works in communications and attended college in London. He seems nice, we have a lovely conversation and I throw in their that I’m happily married, have a child, etc.

Finally his family arrives to eat and we part ways, I figure I’ll never see him again. The next day I get off at our port, I signed up for a Segway tour and who do I see in line my new friend and his father and I assume his oldest nephew. He of course waves at me, and we make simple chit chat before starting our tour. After the tour there was the opportunity to walk around.

I chose to browse the shops and get some pizza however I felt I was being watched or followed. I turned around a few times but didn’t see anyone, I shrugged it off and went about my day.

I go back to the ship change into my bathing suit and go lay out on the deck, it’s a perfect seventy two degree day and my skin loved the vitamin D, I order a drink and put in my wireless headphones. I’m dozing when I feel hands roughly shake me, I jolt sitting straight up. It’s my “friend” although he’s frowning, staring at me disproving, he angrily tells me I’m not allowed to show off my body and that I’m disrespecting him and his religion by acting like a slut. By now I have two cruise employees I’m friends with (I have taken many cruises and get to know the employees) who hear the commotion and are telling him he needs to leave me alone. Never mind I’m embarrassed, I tell him I’m a married woman, and what I do isn’t any of his concern. As he stomps off, he informs me if I was his woman I’d be sorry.

I figure I won’t have to deal with him and the next day is perfect, no sign of him we are at sea and I hang out on my balcony sunning and dozing.

That night after a few martinis at the piano bar I settle in my room for the night after talking with my hubby through Facebook messenger. I’m about to doze when my door starts shaking, it sounds as if someone is violently running into my door. I throw a robe on and look out the peep hole. It’s the Indian guy, he looks crazed. It was formal night so he’s in formal wear, hair mused, red faced screaming profanities at me. Luckily the guy across the hall a pretty big guy opens his door and tells the creep to get the hell out of the hall before his kids were waken up. Indian guy gives one last profanity and then leaves.

The next morning the guy across the hall tells me something terrifying he swears the guy had a steak knife in his hand.

I inform the cruise director but I’m not sure what happened after that.

I only saw him one more time on the cruise as we were disembarking, he was carrying one of his nieces and luckily didn’t see me.

— Bigbadnastywoman

2. Craigslist roommate almost slits my throat

When I was 21 I transferred to a college in San Francisco. I checked out a room for rent on Craigslist. It was in a really nice two bedroom apartment. It was cheap rent and close to campus, so it was the ideal spot.

The girl who lived there was 29 and her name was Beth. She was tall and wide, and she had jet black hair and wore pale makeup. She seemed nice, although a little quiet. But she seemed to like me, and agreed to let me move in. So far, so good.

My first night there we went out for pizza, and that’s when I could tell that something was a little bit off with her. Throughout dinner she kept telling me how much I look like Shia LaBeouf. I didn’t know what to say, so I just shrugged it off with a – Thanks? I mean, I look nothing like Shia LaBeouf, so it just didn’t make any sense to me.

When we got back home she asked if I had seen her room yet. I said no, and so she took me to see it. Her walls were covered in posters of Shia LaBeouf. She even had printed out photos of him all over her mirror. She owned all his movies. I didn’t know what to make of it. It was creepy. The whole night she had been saying I look like him, and now it’s obvious to me that she’s obsessed with the guy.

A few weeks passed, and I never really saw her that much. We didn’t spend any time together really. She would come home from work and practically run to her room. She would spend the whole night in there. She had this creepy high pitched giggle, and I would hear her giggling through the walls all night. I wondered what the hell she could possibly be doing.

Occasionally she would come out and talk for like 2 minutes, and she would always be slurring her words – so I suspected she was drinking a lot. Sometimes she wouldn’t say anything and she would just stand in the hallway and watch me in the living room. I would turn and see her and be surprised and say “hello beth” and then there would be this long awkward pause and she would give out her creepy high pitched giggle. It was uncomfortable being around her. She gave me the chills.

One night I woke up at around 2am because I heard what sounded like the front door being unlocked. I came out of my bedroom, and all the lights were off, but I could still see Beth standing at the front door. She had her face against it, and she was turning the lock back and forth over and over again. And every time she turned the bolt she mumbled my name!!! “Max Barker….Max Barker…Max Barker…”. Seeing her standing in the dark, and mumbling my name, really freaked me out. And it doesn’t help that she kinda looks like a bigger version of the girl from The Ring. I just quietly went back to my room and tried to sleep.

One night I was watching Gladiator and she stumbled out of her room and turned on the living room light, forcing me to pause the movie – which was annoying. She then asked me if I wanted to hear about her ex-boyfriend. It was an uneasy segue into the topic, but I just said sure and then awkwardly sat back to listen to her.

Ten minutes into her story and she was so riled up. She was screaming at the top of her lungs about their breakup. I was worried that the neighbors were going to call the cops – and she wasn’t listening to me when I was asking her to lower the volume. Amidst all of her screaming, one thing she said really freaked me out – she was in such a fit and yelled: I’ll slit his fucking throat.

That was a big game changer. Suddenly I had no idea what this girl was capable of. She was practically a stranger, and everything I had seen was becoming alarmingly disturbing. After a few more minutes she told me thanks for listening and she startled doing her giggle.

I got out of there pretty fast, and went to my room to go to sleep. I had a pretty unsettled feeling about being in the house with her, and what’s worse is that there was no lock on my bedroom door. I pushed the edge of my dresser in front of it, to act as a little barricade.

I woke up in the middle of the night to the sound of my dresser scraping against the floor. Beth was pushing the door open! I turned on my light – shouting at her to stop. I could see her through the opening of the door. She was so drunk, and had this insane look in her eyes.

I pushed the door closed, and yelled at her to go to bed. I could hear her walk back to her room, but I couldn’t fall back asleep.

The next morning when I went out into the hallway my heart dropped. I saw one of her steak knives was on the floor by my door. I got goosebumps all over my arms. All I could think about was her saying she would slit that guy’s throat. I confronted her about it, and she said she didn’t remember trying to push my door open. She said she didn’t even remember telling me about her ex.

I had enough. My lease was month-to-month, so I found a new spot and moved out. About a month after I moved out she contacted me. I was at the movies, and my phone was off. When I got out I turned my phone on – and to my shock I received in 40+ text messages that she had sent me over the past two hours. They were all just insane texts that ranged from everything between “Hi how are you?” to “I fucking hate you!”. It was insane. I didn’t respond, and I never heard from her again.

I always wonder if I hadn’t set my dresser in front of my door, would she have quietly come into my room and slit my throat? It freaks me out.

— Mac1187

3. Creepy neighbor Keith

At the age of around 6/7, I lived next door to an old (60 or so) year old man named Keith. He would often go running around the streets as he was very fit for his age. At the time, I lived with my grandmother, she was friends with him and would often invite him round for a cup of tea and to gossip. Things were fine for a little while, until one day, I looked out of my window in my bedroom, from my window I could see clearly into his garden. He was laying on a deck chair masturbating, as I was a child, I didn’t understand, of course. I assumed he didn’t know I was there. The next day, I went to open the curtains in the morning and saw him, doing the same, again. He looked up at me and smiled, then carried on.

A few weeks later, with me not mentioning it to my Nan, incase she thought I was lying about it, I continued to see him almost daily, I started to realise it wasn’t right when I noticed he would make an effort to make me look, by doing things such as making loud noises outside and shouting my name.

Soon after it was my birthday, my nan invited him round to my party as most of our neighbours had been invited too. I was alone in the kitchen getting a glass of water when I heard the kitchen door open and saw him walk in, he was wearing gold cycling shorts which very clearly showed off everything. At the time, I thought it was just a fashion choice but now I see that he wanted people to look.

He said to me “If you were my daughter I would never let you leave the house looking so sexy. Thank you for keeping our secret.” I don’t remember my exact answer but it was something along the lines of “sexy is a bad word.” He started to pull down his shorts and I panicked and called my nan, she rushed in to see him standing over me, quickly pulling his shorts up and with an erection.

Thankfully I never saw him masturbating after this. My nan called the police and he got a warning. In my opinion this wasn’t enough for what he did. I lived next door to him for another 6 years.

— BabyAngel242

4. Thank God our house has shitty wiring

A few weeks ago I was moving some stuff around in my room and accidentally broke the glass on my window. It was a small crack, and didn’t fully break, but it was enough that cold air and condensation were getting in and making my window ice up. So i threw a space heater in my room to try warming the place up. Now, we have an old house and if we have two heaters on at the same time the fuses blow and shuts off power to the back side of the house.

The other night got particularly cold so I plugged in the heater to the outlet closest to my bed. This outlet was controlled by the light switch so when I turn on the switch the heater goes on. (its one of those ones with dials not power buttons)

When it got time for bed my room was sufficiently warm so i turned out my heater. I told my parents my room was warm enough so they put their heater on for the night. Fast forward to about 2 AM and I hear some noise in my brothers room. I think nothing of it and just shake it off. I just laid there and the noise had stopped so I lay back down and try to fall asleep. Then I started hearing noises in the kitchen, which was odd as nobody would be rummaging through the kitchen drawers at this time of night.

I start to get a little worried and check my phone- I see a snap from my brother from about 1AM and he was out getting wasted with friends, so I calm down and think he just got an uber. I was wide awake at this point so I checked my texts and email, and got back on snapchat. This is when I really started freaking out.

On the stories, there was my brother, posted 13 minutes ago at a buddies house who lived more than 20 miles away. It wasn’t him in the house. Reading too many LNM stories I had put an old broken hockey stick in my room in case of emergencies. Not the best weapon but it’s what I got. So i quietly get out of bed to turn on the light to find it. I had forgotten my heater was plugged in so as soon as I flipped the switch the light went out. But so did the rest of the power. It also just so happens that on that end of the house is where our CO detector is, and when power is cut it beeps. LOUD. Whatever the case was this startled whoever was in my house and the kitchen door opened quickly. I woke up my parents and let them know what happened.

Once we got power on we noticed my brothers bedroom window was wide open. We saw footprints beneath my window, but thankfully the ice had frozen the window shut from the outside. Whoever was in my house climbed into my brothers room, and was rummaging around the house. The bags left over under the Christmas tree had been torn through and all the kitchen drawers were open.

We contacted the police who took down the information and said this kind of behavior is normal around holidays. People find empty houses and look for gifts/cash things of that sort. I don’t know what would have happened if I had come face to face with this guy.

— Brandnewthrowaway10

5. “You know exactly who this is Darlin’…”

When I was 22, I moved 1,000 miles away from my Midwest home to the beautiful foothills of Tennessee. I had a new job, new car, and a nice apartment, but didn’t know a soul outside of work.

If my phone rang, I expected to hear a far-away family member or my long-distance boyfriend – still in college. This was a landline; no cellphones yet. Despite being very alone, I was managing well with the excitement of all the new things in my life. I had only lived there about 2 weeks when the unwanted calls started.

The first call: A man’s friendly voice asked what I was doing. I couldn’t place him, and thought maybe it was one of my cousins or uncles. (I have a huge extended family.) I ask his name; he laughs a little, and his tone gets dark, a bit angry. He says, “You know exactly who this is, Darlin’.”

I pause, deciding if this guy simply called the wrong number or is a creep. I choose the former, laugh, and politely tell him he has the wrong number. He then recites my brand-new unlisted/unpublished phone number AND my name. WTF?! An intense chill races through me. I’ve only given my new number to my parents, sister, boyfriend, apartment manager, and employer. I’m new to this city and this lovely southern state.

He does NOT like it when I tell him he called the wrong number, and starts yelling at me, then tells me in a much calmer voice the many vulgar things he’s going to do to me. I hang up and brush it off. He calls again around 1:00 AM; I tell him to f** himself and hang up. He keeps calling, so I unplug the phone and return to sleep.

However, as days go by the calls continue, and escalate. He starts mentioning personal things about me… said he liked the white quilt on my bed, knew what was in my fridge, that he’s allergic to cats (I had one) and then asked me if I was in love with Mari.

As I listened to his words, I was standing in my kitchen looking at the calendar taped to the fridge. It had “Mari” written in pink on the 17th with a heart around it, because Mari is my sister and the 17th is her birthday. I started shaking and crying, because suddenly I realized this creep has been in my apartment! I was alone, with no friends or family to run to for the night. It was me versus a creepy mystery man.

I didn’t sleep much that night. Early the next morning, I talk to the apartment complex manager before heading to work, telling her what happened and that I want the locks changed that day. She gets a weird look on her face, and after a long pause, says SHE KNOWS WHO HAS BEEN IN MY APARTMENT, and that “it won’t happen again.” WHAAAT???

Turns out she had a creepy, rapey maintenance guy who noticed a young woman moving into an apartment alone, and thought I was his new pet. She had the locks changed immediately, and promised that she would personally keep the other key.

Although the calls stopped, I was paranoid for a year as I came and went from my apartment, because I never even knew what this guy looked like. I moved out the moment my lease was up.

Only after thinking about it years later did I realize that her weird expression likely meant that it had happened before. Plus, she didn’t even fire him. I regret not calling the cops; I was young and naive.

— runandkickgirl

6. Creepy man who drugged female friend stalked us with a metal pipe

I am sometimes too nice to my friends. I tend to do favors for my friends even if they seem pretty ridiculous as long as it’s not terribly out of my way. Most of the time it’s “halp I’m drunk and need a ride home.”

Well one night at like 1:30AM I get the call, a very very drunk friend of mine, Claire, is begging me to come pick her up and give her a ride home soon, the bar is closing soon and she’s too drunk to drive home. The bar she is at isn’t too far from my house, about a 10-15 minute drive, but the issue is that she lives like 35-45 minutes on the other side of town. Claire has been extremely nice to me in the past and I did owe her a solid so at about 10 to 2, I grab my keys, and my concealed carry, and leave the house.

I get to the bar at around 5 past 2, and she’s sitting outside on a bench by the doorman. I pull into the parking lot, which was pretty empty since the bar is closed and I assumed that the cars remaining were the workers who had yet to leave.

I get out of the car and start walking to Claire who is kinda slumped over. I was hoping she wasn’t passed out drunk, and when I got to her, the doorman asked me if I was her ride, lmnthrowaway222. I told him yes, showed my ID for proof, and what he said next was of some concern. He kind of pulls me in and says (I’ll leave out where I interjected, and just write what he said),

“Hey, I was supposed to leave when we closed but I have a strong feeling your friend was roofied. She’s been on the porch drinking all night and some guy kept hovering around her. I assumed it was a boyfriend or whatever but she never turned to talk to the guy. She was either drinking or chatting with other girls around her. Well anyways, she chugged her last drink, came up to me and told me you would be coming to pick her up, and she asked me if she could sit by me, she told me she felt very dizzy and sick. I told her ‘sure’ hoping she just drank too much and she passed out right after she sat down. After that I couldn’t see that guy anymore but I didn’t want to take any chances.”

So visibly concerned, I thanked the guy profusely. And he even helps me carry Claire to my car. Mid way to carrying her, she’s kind of coming to, like someone just waking up after a surgery. That really groggy, not knowing where they are, talking of nonsense kind of talking. I don’t remember exactly what she was talking about, but I’m sure if I wasn’t on high alert about her possibly being drugged, it was some funny shit.

So we get her buckled in, I thank the guy again and he just says he hopes she gets home safe. So now, hoping my friend is only stupid drunk and not drugged, I start driving to her house. The whole time I’m trying to keep an eye on her, and an eye on the road. She’s now snoring asleep, which puts me at ease a bit. But, about half way to her house, my fuel light comes on. Cursing the fuel economy of a sports car, I pull into the next gas station.

It’s one of those small gas stations that doesn’t have 24 hour store. So I’m on extra high alert while I start to pump gas. The Gas Station is about a block from the freeway, and right at the corner of the intersection. The street itself is pretty dark, with lonely lamp posts shining very pitiful lights at large intervals. I get that really dead feeling, like this place is just abandoned.

To give an idea of positioning(because this is important); The gas Station is at the corner of the intersection, the Store front would be facing ‘South’ and we were right in front of it where the pumps were. The ‘East’ would be where there are the air pumps and tires and parking spaces and the ‘North’ would be a diesel fuel pump right behind the store accessible from the street behind the gas station.

I drive a corvette so the filler is on the rear end of the car, and I’m leaning against the rear looking around. To me left I hear this weird metallic scraping sound. So I turn and see this guy, about 15-20 feet from me, come around the corner dragging a long metal pipe on the ground.

I immediately sense that I’m in a possibly dangerous situation now, the guy looks almost possessed but he’s not looking at me, rather like he’s trying to look into my car.

I’m on the defensive, but hope I can get him to leave so I call out, “Hey, everything alright?”

Without looking at me he answers back, “You took my girlfriend from me, I’m here to take her back.”

Now he turns to look at me and he’s got blood in his eyes. Before he begins to take a step though, I start yelling, hoping it’ll get him to back off. I’m a little over 6 feet tall and not exactly skinny, but not exactly bulky either, but I have a really deep voice.

“Back the fuck off, turn around and leave and no one has to get hurt!”

He takes a step towards me, clearly unimpressed. So almost automatically, I pull my handgun from my inside-the-waistband holster and draw a bead on him.

“BACK THE FUCK OFF, YOU DON’T HAVE TO DIE!” I start yelling louder. Pretty sure my voice cracked because A. I’m scared shitless. No amount of self defense classes and time at the range prepares you emotionally for this kind of situation. B. Even though I carry, I’m really against violence and killing someone is not something I want to do. C. Did I mention I’m fucking scared?

Anyway, in a panic the fucker throws the pipe at me. It whizzes by (thankfully not towards my car but to my right) and I dive behind my car for cover (I have no idea if he has a gun himself or what, but I was going to put some kind of cover between me and him) and by the time I kneel up and aim over the rear of my car, he’s booked it. I hear a car door slam and tires screech, and he launches off the curb on the ‘East’ side of the lot and is tearing down the road, swaying all over the place.

In a my own panicked hurry, I pull the pump out of the car, screw the cap on, and tear out of there myself. Claire, however is still passed out in my car, and now I’m afraid because I’m convinced she’d been drugged and we were followed by that guy. Me being more concerned about her earlier and keeping on the road, I must not have noticed being followed.

The whole way back to her house I’m wary of any car that’s behind me. I’m also driving very aggressively (read: speeding like a jack ass) and when I get to Claire’s neighborhood, I circle a separate block that’s not hers 4 times to make sure no one followed me.

When I was satisfied thinking I wasn’t being followed anymore I pulled up to her house and tried to shake her awake. She’s doing that groggy waking up stuff from before, but now she’s able to get up. I’m able to walk her (thankfully, I was worried I was going to have to call an ambulance if she didn’t wake up) and I get her keys from her bag.

I managed to walk her inside, and this point she’s kind of coming around, asking me what’s going on, where she is, etc. I tell her she’s home and get her to lie down. She’s completely lost looking, and her eyes start welling up. She clings to me and starts sobbing, she’s still very out of it but I’m guessing she realizes something bad was going on or attempted on her.

I was able to get her to lie down, and she get her to sleep. I write a note for her which pretty much said “hey I’ll be in the next room, we’re going to the hospital in the morning to get you checked out.”

Fast forward to the morning, she’s sick as a dog, and after she expelled some demons from her stomach, I drove her to the hospital where she got tested and treated.

I still shudder to think what might have happened had I not had my CCW with me. I do know martial arts, but that’s not something I want to take against a crazy person with a pipe. Claire still doesn’t remember much from the night except calling me and wanting to sit next to the doorman.

My advice for your guys on this sub, either be with friends you trust when you go out or at least be vigilant if you’re by yourself. That night could have ended badly in a thousand different ways but thankfully even luckily, everyone made it out safe.

— lmnthrowaway222

7. Customer tried to kidnap me after my shift

For reference, I am a 20 year old Hooters girl and encounter creepy guys all the time but never likes this. I occasionally get asked for my number and to go on dates by older men but always politely turn them down without really upsetting anyone. (Anyone who says anything perverted or uncomfortable gets kicked out by the way so thats a rare occurrence.)

I was working the night shift the other night and had a forty something year old man sit at my table by himself. I greeted him the same way I greet all customers; lots of smiling, laugh at their jokes, ask about his/her day etc. He was really irritated and didn’t seem to want to talk to me at all, so I assumed he was there to eat and go without all the chatting customers expect from the waitresses.

I offered a box and dessert at the end of his meal, but he just paid and got up to leave. When I brought back his change, he grabbed my arm and pulled me close and said “I want you so badly,” before letting go and walking out the door. I was so uncomfortable that I just stood there until he left. This was around 8 p.m., so I told the other girls then got over it.

We close at midnight on weekdays so by the time I was ready to go, it was about 1:30a.m. I carry a stun gun in my bag and normally have someone walk me to my car, but it was so late that nearly everyone had already left and those that were still there were busy trying to clean up so they could leave. I had parked right in front of the doors leaving my car only five feet away, so I decided to quickly get in my car without being walked.

I always lock my doors out of habit and went to check my phone which was dead. I have one of those crappy chargers in my car that only charge at a certain angle and was trying to get my phone to charge when a truck pulled up behind me blocking me in. I couldn’t pull forward because the restaurant was in front of me, and I couldn’t back up because of this truck. At first I thought it was my roommate who will sometimes come check on me if I get home too late to make sure I’m okay. It was a silver truck which is what my roommate drives, but when I turned to look at it, it was a different model which made my heart sink.

This person then proceeded to honk their horn at me over and over for a good five minutes trying to get me out of my car. When I refused because momma didn’t raise an idiot, he pulled up next to me, started knocking on my window and yelled at me to get out of my car. It was the same guy that was at my table five hours earlier. My phone wouldn’t turn on, so I switched into reverse and fast and furioused my way out of the parking lot. He started following me with his truck, so I ran a red light and started speeding. He stopped at the light, and I drove for a bit before going home in case he caught up and tried following me to my house.

I checked my car when I got home in case he hit my car and was trying to let me know, but I didn’t see any marks. I don’t know whether he was trying to rob me or kidnap me, but creepy man who waited five hours in the parking lot for me, I really hope we never meet again.

— feedingtheheartless

8. Once you read this, you’ll never want to make new friends…

Ok so a little info about me I’m 21 now this happened 5 years ago when I just started my job as a scaffolders labourer after recently leaving school I’m from a small city in the north of England on the border of Scotland bit of a nowhere place really

So anyways I started my job and as any young lad I was eager to make friends at my new work place and sure enough I did his name was jay he was a couple years older than me and we hit it off really well so after a few weeks he ended up coming round to my house where I lived with my Mam and younger sister (she was 13) in a bungalow (single story house)

Everyone liked jay he started to become a permanent fixture round the house he would normally pop round and I would go round his place a lot after a while my sister and Mam started to notice things going missing normally underwear but no one thought much of it as things often get misplaced.

In the next few weeks things got creepier my sister screamed out one night that there was someone outside watching her so I raced outside with my Mam to find no one there but we where all majorly creeped out we rang the police but they just advised to close all the curtains and lock al windows and doors after that we went and stayed at my grandmothers house for a few days until we all calmed down a bit

So we had been back at our home had cctv installed and the works jay helped us put it all up and he was a great help to be honest more than happy to help us feel safe in our home again

So a few weeks have passed the past incidents have been pushed to the back of our minds as best we could (it’s not healthy to torture yourself) I went outside one morning to find some footprints in the mud we went back and checked the cctv and the creepy fuck who ever it was managed to get in and out the only way cameras where not facing (I know we should have put all the facts together )

So once again we where creeped out and all a bit on edge that very same night my sister seen someone in the garden again and screened we rushed to her and I caught a glimpse of the guy we rang the police again they arrived 45 mins later ( absolutely terrible response time ) they did a check of the garden and found a phone

They brought it inside to see if it was one of ours..it wasn’t but we all recognised it to be jays the police later arrested him and upon a search of his home they found a box in his attic with my sisters and mothers underwear and lots of pictures mainly of my sister but some of my Mam he ended up being jailed for 2 years and he moved away after it

So I guess the moral of this story is don’t trust everyone.

— ScaffoldingMonkey

9. Forced to kiss a man to escape his disgusting clasp

I was always a very introverted girl, And all of my close friends were over the internet. And I was dating (and still am) a lovely young man from Scotland. I lived in the South of a England at the time, and after 5 months of dating ldr I’d finally get to meet him in person. I knew he was a legitimate person, but being the anxious ball of nerves I am, I made sure to do it in a very public place. He was exactly who I knew him as, and was not the one who tried to kidnap me on that day.

He had to catch the train back to London where he was staying late that evening, and I, knowing the area like the back of my hand and having walked around it thousands of times before at much younger ages, walked HIM back to the train station, and said my very tearful goodbyes to the boy I loved. I left, crying, not knowing when I’d see him again, and made my way toward the bus stop that’d take me home. That was, until a very tall Indian man (About 6″, Roughly in his 40s) came up to me as I was crossing the street, and hugged me.

Now, I was beside myself with sorrow at my love’s departure, and the hug made me cry even more, despite all the red flags going off in my head. People in this area had been known to be quite friendly, even with strangers, and I just had to pray he was one of them. He took my hands and held my wrists so I could not walk away. I began to panic at this point, too weak to break the mans hold on me, too choked up to call for help. He asked me what was wrong and told me “A sweetheart like you shouldn’t be on the streets crying. Come with me, I can make it all better.” I immediately declined, saying that I had just had to say goodbye to my boyfriend (big mistake to tell the man I was definitely alone, I know now.) and that I just wanted to go home.

He wouldn’t let go of my wrists after that, and tightened his grip to a painful amount. He told me he would give me things that would make me feel better, and that I needed to come with him. I continuously declined, praying someone would walk down that street (usually very busy, but not at 8pm when the shops in that area are all closed.) and to my luck, nobody did. The man eventually started demanding that I give him a kiss and he’d let me go. Keep in mind, I had only just had my first kiss with the boy I loved earlier that day… and now I was being made to kiss this disgusting man, or else who knows what would’ve happened to me. I did, as much as I hated it with every bone in my body, and he did let me go, to my surprise.

I hurried away from him and ran as fast as I could to the bus stop, immediately calling my boyfriend and telling him what happened. He still beats himself up to this day about it, saying he should’ve made sure I got home safe first. I always tell him there was no way he could’ve known that would happen, and having walked that route so many times in the past I didn’t think that something like that would ever happen to me.

It still troubles me to this day, and I’m still very nervous going anywhere alone. Granted, I use the event as a comedic point towards the common statement “Never meet strangers off the internet.” But the whole ordeal definitely makes me very uncomfortable still.

— Sparkei

10. High AF people driving up and down our rural street

So, about four years ago my husband and I decided to do some work on out house. The first thing we decided to do was fix our front steps. We had worked on them all day and as it go dark we sat up some shop lights and went inside to eat dinner. My sister, her husband, and my baby niece were all living with us at thee time.

We ate dinner and myself and my brother in law stepped out on the porch to smoke. The neighbors across from us ( we live in a very rural area on a mountain) were on vacation. We see this car pull up at their house and just sit there for a while. The car only had one head light which I noticed right away. After a few minutes and nobody getting out the pulled out and left.

So about five minutes pass and we are still on the porch this car comes back and pulls in my driveway. This scruffy, nasty, bearded man gets out and so does his wife who was twacked out on God knows what.

They come to the porch and ask if we have seen an explorer for sale. We say no and they proceed to tell us that they had directions but left them at the motel they were staying in.

I asked if he remembered their name or even some of the directions. He says they said to turn RIGHT off of the exit, which we live left of the exit. I told him this and he says..maybe it said left. Ok, maybe so. So I asked what the vehicle looks like, he says he don’t know.

Meanwhile his wife is telling me about her house which is in the same twon as the motel they are staying in. She is telling me all about it which makes me wonder why they are staying in a motel so I asked. She looks at me weird and says they aren’t staying anywhere but home.

As she is talking I see someone in the car light a lighter and see two more people in the car. At this point nothing they say makes any sense and she is high as hell. She keeps glancing into my sunroom when she thinks nobody is looking at her.

After a few minutes my husband walks outside with his pistol in his hand and asked if he could help them. When they see this the ones in the car open the door and yell at these two to come on. They say thanks and walk really fast back to the car.

For the next hour we watch them drive back and forth up and down the road. A few days after this our neighbors house was broken into and a few things were stolen. A pistol being one. I have to wonder if they were casing my house and maybe thought it was just me and my brother in law here. I haven’t seen the car since then and hope I don’t again. I told the police about them and they said they would check it out but nothing ever came of it.

— parrott_ashley

Still want more scares? Proceed to page 2 here!

If He Won’t Commit, It’s Time To Move The Fuck On

Posted: 07 Jan 2017 05:00 PM PST

Thought Catalog Tumblr
Thought Catalog Tumblr

Fear of commitment is a real thing. Not everyone fears it, but most people do. The worst part is that most people don't know they're afraid of commitment until the opportunity — or request, rather — presents itself.
I've been there. I've been convinced that a serious, meaningful relationship is what I want and need, even when I feel like I can't commit to it.

I'm sure plenty of you have been there before. You put in effort to convince someone to go out on a date with you. You fall in love. You spend happy months or years together, creating memories and growing together. Then, as if out of some blind spot, you realize where things are headed.

They're headed where you thought you wanted them to head, and that scares the sh*t out of you. Who thought that getting exactly what you wished for could cause you so much confusion, sadness and pain? I didn't understand it back then, but I get it now.

I, like most of you reading this, love ideas more than reality. I love concepts. I love the constant search for something — anything — better. I base my life and reality on one simple, gnawing question: "What if?"

What if, you wonder, this person isn't the one? What if this is a mistake? What if you really don't know better? What if you're going to miss out on something perfect? Something better?

What if he isn't enough for me?

The truth is that as soon as you ask that last question — as soon as you ask, "What if he isn't enough?" — you've stumbled upon your first undeniable, unrelenting truth: You are not enough.

It's a difficult idea to fully comprehend. We feel like we're enough until the moment we realize what's missing. You are alone in this world until you're not. And the only way to not be alone is to be connected. You need to be connected to things and ideas, sure, but most importantly, you need to be connected to other people.

Not all of us are ready to make such a connection — and I'm not just talking about romantic relationship. More often than not, the people who have difficulty committing to romantic love are the ones who have a difficult time creating and maintaining other relationships. I mean, what's the point of keeping and maintaining connections when you plan on cutting them as soon as something better comes along?

I was honestly planning to give you a list of all the signs that a guy isn't into you. But I decided not to. I have two reasons: One is that I've already written plenty on the topic before. And the other is that it ultimately doesn't matter whether or not a man is into you.

The fact is that he isn't ready to commit. There's absolutely nothing you can do to change a man's mind. I know that's the last thing you want to hear, but you need to hear it. When a guy isn't ready to commit, nothing on earth can change his mind.

Think about it: You'd have to figure out a way to convince a man to commit to something that he doesn't want.

You aren't capable of convincing people that they're wrong, and you shouldn't even try. And that's not because he's not worth fighting for; it's because you shouldn't have to convince anyone that you're valuable. If he doesn't already know that — if he doesn't already appreciate you, love you, miss you, and wish for nothing more than to be by your side — then the only thing that will ever convince him otherwise is losing you.

You could give him time, and maybe he will come around to his own senses. Maybe he's closer to being ready than I was, and maybe holding out will get you what you want. The choice is up to you.

What I will say, however, is this: Be sure that you fully understand your own worth. There's a reason why the best negotiation tactic in the world is walking away from the table. In this case, it's not so much about negotiating as it is about helping him realize that you're with him only because you choose to be. You're dedicated to the relationship only because you want to be. And you're around only until you choose not to be. TC mark

Read This If You’re Unhappy

Posted: 07 Jan 2017 04:00 PM PST

unsplash.com
unsplash.com

It's so consuming, isn't it? Like a dark gas that fills up your entire body and makes you wonder if you'll ever feel normal again.

Sometimes it lasts for a day. Sometimes, two. Sometimes it's a bad month or a bad year. Sometimes it's because someone broke your heart. Sometimes it's just because it's winter and it's dark all the time. Sometimes it's because your friend just got promoted at work or experienced an incredible success in one way or another, and you're still just sitting here, being plain old you, wanting to feel happy for them but instead feeling panicky about how much worse this makes you feel, and then feeling even more awful because what kind of person are you if you can't even be happy for your friend?

But whether it's because of a friend's success or because of your own broken heart or because you miss the long and warm days of summer or because of no reason at all – and whether it lasts for a day or three days or 246 days, you're not the first person to feel this way and you won't be the last.

I wish I could write you a list. A step-by-step guide of exactly what you need to do to stop feeling unhappy. But I can't, because that's not how unhappiness works. There are certainly things you can do to try to brighten your days a little bit – to make your home cozier and to do things that make you feel less alone and to find ways to help you keep your head above water until you can climb out of this hole. But there's no trick to simply get rid of unhappiness, to wet your fingers and extinguish the flame in an instant.

But what you can do, in the meantime, is be kind to yourself. And being kind to yourself means a lot of different things. It means being gentle with yourself, and doing everything in your control to keep yourself comfortable and healthy – getting enough sleep, taking time to rest when you need it, going for walks, eating well, leaning on loved ones when things are really hard.

But being kind to yourself, especially when you're unhappy, can also mean being hard on yourself. Refusing to let yourself wallow. Getting out of bed and making yourself go to work, no matter how cold or dark it is outside, or how sad you feel internally. Forcing yourself to exercise, even if it's the last thing you want to do, even if all it means is walking outdoors for twelve minutes. Taking your friends up on their offer to spend time with you, even when all you feel like doing is hiding under the covers and being alone – because you know, deep down, no matter what you feel like doing on the surface, that what you really need is to be in the company of people who love you.

You have to do these things, these harder things, when you're unhappy. You have to be strong, you have to take care of yourself. You have to tell yourself you are tough, repeatedly, every single day, even if you don't believe it. You have to keep moving, you have to keep going.

The people who got out of these dark times before you weren’t better than you, or stronger than you, or less burdened than you. They felt weak and sad and like they were barely hanging on – just like you. BUT, they kept going.

You're not wrong for being unhappy. You're not a freak or a failure. You're not lazy or seeking attention. What you are is a person. And when you're a person, sometimes you experience painful, almost-crippling bouts of unhappiness. Sometimes there is a reason for it, sometimes not.

But all you need to remember is that you're human, you're okay, you're not wrong for feeling this way. You have to be kind to yourself, you have to be kind enough to be hard on yourself. And most of all, you have to remember you're not alone, you're never alone, and this is exactly what connects you to every other person in this world. TC mark

You Don’t Know Who A Girl Really Is Until You See Her In These 12 Soul-Baring Situations

Posted: 07 Jan 2017 03:00 PM PST

Brooke Shemaria
Brooke Shemaria

1. When she’s drunk. When all of her inhibitions, her insecurities, and her innocence flutters away. When she isn’t thinking over her words — once, twice, three times — before she speaks. When she says whatever pops into her intricate mind and moves with a clumsy grace.

2. When she’s with her best friends. When she laughs hard at nonsensical jokes, without worrying about her snort or the attention she’s attracting from passersby. When she’s simultaneously a childish, carefree young girl and a twenty-something woman with a mature elegance. When she’s completely and utterly her.

3. When she’s grieving. When her pet, her parent, or another person she felt extreme love for is taken away from her. When she stands over their grave, counting the memories that they shared. When she digs her head into your shoulder, because the tissues aren’t enough to stop the tears and she’s hoping your body can soak the remainders up.

4. When she’s making love. When she lifts her dress and reveals the skin reserved for men of a certain class. When she looks in your eyes and wordlessly tells you how much trust she has in you. When she gives you a glimpse into her private world and prays you don’t take the experience for granted.

5. When she’s watching her favorite TV show. When she doesn’t even hear you speaking, doesn’t even feel your hand clasp on hers, because she’s so immersed in the plot. When the season ends and she cries, because to her, the show isn’t pure fiction. She sees herself reflected in the characters. The show mirrors her life.

6. When she’s with her pet. When she drops to the ground to get covered in sloppy kisses. When she slips into her baby voice, because that’s what her pet is to her — her child. When she doesn’t even realize the outfit she took hours to pick out is sprinkled with fur, dotted with lick marks.

7. When she’s tired. When all she wants to do is smash the snooze button and crawl back under her cotton covers. When she snaps at you, just for speaking, because she isn’t fully awake yet, isn’t ready to start the day. When a cup of coffee isn’t even enough to quiet her crankiness.

8. When she’s on her period. When she’s cranky. When she’s whiny. When she doesn’t want you to touch her and then climbs up on your lap five minutes later. When she doesn’t know what the hell is wrong, but that her back is killing her.

9. When she’s arguing with you. When she’s pissed and unable to contain her rage, despite her love for you. When she struggles to deal with her emotions, so every word comes out wrong. When she slams the bathroom door and turns on the sink to muffle her crying.

10. When she’s singing. When she unexpectedly hears her favorite song and lets out the tiniest squeal. When she doesn’t realize you’re close enough to hear her cracked voice and watch her gangly body glide around the kitchen. When she lets the music transport her to another place, another time.

11. When she’s working. When she’s on the phone with her boss, speaking in a professional voice reserved only for colleagues. When she’s practicing a speech that could make or break her career, and has cultivated such a strong focus you can’t help but be impressed.

12. When she’s in love. When she looks at you like you’ve solved life’s greatest question. When she kisses you with a level of intensity and degree of passion you’ve never experienced before her. When she promises you forever and does everything within her power to make her oath come true. TC mark 

You Can’t Control All That Happens To You In This Life, But You Can Control How You React To It

Posted: 07 Jan 2017 02:00 PM PST

Eutah Mizushima
Eutah Mizushima

You can’t control everything that happens to you. And just like you can’t control what happens in your best friend’s life, or your sister’s life, you sometimes, don’t have any say in what happens in your world.

You could be doing a wonderful job at work one day, and the next day you might have to leave because your company is downsizing. You could be in a completely wonderful and loving relationship one day, but the next day, it might end because of long distance or timing. You could have everything you have always dreamed of today, and have it all gone by tomorrow.

You never know what could happen to you. And no matter how on top of everything that you are and no matter how in control you may think you are in the present moment, tomorrow could change everything.

Life hands us all tragedies and losses. Life hands us all trauma and heartbreak that feels like it could truly break us. Life can hand us all of that and more, without asking. And without getting our permission first.

You can’t control your life. You can’t control where you will be in five years. You can’t control where your path will take you tomorrow. I wish you could. I wish we all could. But we can’t. 

We are all just living in the constant unknown. A constant question mark. And in the constant wonderful, beautiful, and terrifying mystery of today and tomorrow.

So, what do we do? What can we do? If we can’t control the viruses that attack our bodies, or the cancerous cells that attack our veins, what can we control? And if we can’t control the country we were born in, the skin color on our bodies, and the dysfunctional family that we grew up in, what can we control?

We can only control one thing. We can try to control our thinking. Our reactions. And our mind. We can try to control how we look at our lives, and how we look at the world. We can try to control how we view our tragedies and hardships. And we can try to hold onto the good things, to the better and brighter things.

We can try to see a brighter tomorrow, when today is melancholy and grey. We can try to daydream today, in order to make all of the pain go away for a minute. We can try to think good thoughts, no matter how fucking terrible our lives seem.

We can try to see the good side of things. We can think about our breathing, and how right now, at this very moment, we are surviving. We can think about what we do have. Our friends, our family, and hopefully a roof over our heads.

We have to see the light. We have to hold onto hope. No matter what. Because honestly? That is all that we have. 

Because while we can’t control the shit that is going on; while we can’t control the fact that Donald Trump is America’s president, while we can’t control our sexual preference or sexual orientation and while we can’t control the type of family that we have been blessed with, we can control something.

We can control our outlook on life and the thoughts that we put into our heads. We can control the hope that we carry within our bones and our bloodstream. And we can try to smile. Despite the sadness, despite the tears, despite the deaths, and despite the tragedies. We can try our hardest, to just keep believing. And to try to be happy, despite the darkness. TC mark

Your One-Word Answer To These 50 Questions Will Reveal Exactly Who You Are

Posted: 07 Jan 2017 01:00 PM PST

Allegra Messina
Allegra Messina

1. What’s the first thing you grab for in the morning?

2. Who is your biggest inspiration in life?

3. What do you think people notice most about you?

4. Who do you hope people notice most about you?

5. What is your biggest weakness/fatal flaw?

6. What is your biggest strength?

7. What to you is the perfect, most ideal age to be?

8. High school. Awesome or terrible?

9. Cats or dogs?

10. Adjective that best describes you when you’re drunk?

11. Why do you love your best friend so much?

12. Where do you want to go more than any other place in the world?

13. Beaches or snow?

14. What is your absolute, number one, biggest pet peeve?

15. What is one personality trait you simply have no time for?

16. Zodiac, MBTI, or Birth Order? Which is the one you lean towards?

17. Do you believe in something after death?

18. How does someone instantaneously get on your good side?

19. How about your bad side?

20. How do you hope you’re described by people when you’re not around?

21. What is your least favorite attribute about yourself?

22. Is it okay to sleep with socks on?

23. Coffee or tea?

24. How many dates until you feel like it’s okay to have sex with someone?

25. What is your love language?

26. Do you or do you not believe in ghosts?

27. What’s your vice?

28. Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram?

29. Favorite artist?

30. Odd numbers or even numbers?

31. Do you believe in organizing or life or letting things just happen?

32. Are you more right brained or left brained?

33. Which do you prefer, logic or creativity?

34. Do you think opposites truly attract?

35. What is your Hogwarts house?

36. Ask for permission or ask for forgiveness?

37. Do you think chemistry is instant or grows with time?

38. Do you trust someone until proven otherwise or do you think trust has to be earned no matter who with?

39. Are there situations in which you think lying is okay and understandable?

40. Comfortable silences or non-stop conversation?

41. Do you believe in fate or do you think we’re in complete control over our circumstances?

42. Love or money?

43. Impulsive or methodical?

44. Are you pro-technology/constantly connected or do you think digital detoxes are super necessary?

45. Do you think it’s better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all?

46. Do you question things even if it will bother someone or do you try to not rock the boat?

47. TV shows or Movies?

48. Books or Magazines?

49. Which is more preferable — being nice or being fair?

50. Describe what would bring you the ultimate happiness in life. TC mark

Here’s A Review Of Every Order I Made On Grubhub In 2016

Posted: 07 Jan 2017 12:20 PM PST

1.

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I vaguely remember justifying the purchase of Mozzarella Sticks because it was New Years? This was certainly a pivotal moment for me, because it’s when I first discovered the Pizza Fresca Buffalo Chicken Salad. The concept of this salad is brilliant, because to cover up the fact you are ordering shitty wilted-ass lettuce from a takeout joint, they smother the whole thing with cheese and buffalo sauce and it takes basically like your dad’s BBQ sandwich (not really). 8/10

2.

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Here I am, just a few weeks later, returning to the Buffalo Chicken Salad. Having started my (failed) New Years Resolution, I ditched the mozo sticks this time. Unfortunately, Pizza Fresca has some arbitrary delivery minimum designed so that no reasonable order could efficiently reach it, so I had to buy two different drinks I didn’t really want.

Apparently the con totally worked. 6/10

3.

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Oh look, it’s the same order again, from the exact same place? Was my life really this boring in 2016? Did I do anything of consequence or meaning? This article is really putting my life in perspective.

I actually had a really bad experience with this order, because the food never, ever actually came. So I called the restaurant, and immediately opened my mouth to start bitching about how hungry I was and how my lawyer friend named Brick (who looks over lease agreements I think?) would totally get me some pain and suffering $$$ out of this. Right before my tirade of hanger began, however, the gentleman on the phone informed me that I had put down the incorrect cell number when I placed the order and that the delivery guy had spent the better part of 15 minutes trying to call me / knock on my door desperately.

I finally got the food, and considered whether I was smart enough to use this service any more. -2/10

4.

screen-shot-2016-12-08-at-10-54-27-am

This order is remarkable because it was actually made at my friend’s place when I was hanging out with him, instead of in the dark solitude of my own room. The driver was really confused about where to go, however, and ended up in a parking lot across the street where I had to meet him. 3.5/10

5.

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For like a hot second I managed to expand away from Pizza Fresca. I remember this tasting really good, but I think the place went out of business not long after? 9/10

6.

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I remember only eating one of the mozzarella sticks because I felt so guilty after consuming the super greasy gyro salad. I think they were pretty good? 6/10

7.

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Apparently, I finally decided it was time to shake it up with my Pizza Fresca order. I decided to merge pizza rolls with a Caesar salad. Interestingly, I actually gave this order a rating at the time (five stars). But I also remember feeling disappointed that I got the Caesar, so idk. 5/5 (apparently)

8.

screen-shot-2016-12-08-at-3-47-40-pm

Another order, another attempt to find something else to eat at Pizza Fresca. I think that the reason I keep ordering from here is that the delivery fee is so freaking low compared to other places. I’m pretty sure I was still unhappy with yet another non-buffalo chicken salad. 2.7548/10

9.

screen-shot-2016-12-08-at-5-04-33-pm

This was actually the first order I made via the Grubhub App. I was walking back from a 10 mile run with one of my best friends. In what has now become a broken ritual for us, we would run far beyond what our physical limits should be, switching back and forth between talking about the shit we would never dare to bring up in real life. As if we were both hoping that we could throw our pain out into the open air, and then simply run past it.

This night — while basically sprinting through downtown Columbus — I talked about an old flame who had casually tried to slide back into my life. He had ghosted on me a months ago, and I had finally gotten over him, when he texted me and asked to “buy me coffee and apologize” for ghosting on me. I agreed, and we met later that week.

As it turns out, he didn’t buy me coffee, and he didn’t apologize. But after an hour of idle chatter, and sincere laughter, I felt good about rebuilding a connection. We made plans to reconnect before he left for his glamorous job in a glamorous city and I parted ways to nurse my hangover from the night before.

A few nights later, I was getting ready to go to bed when I got a “u up?” text from him. I couldn’t do this again, I wouldn’t do this again.

The food arrived to my house almost exactly as I got there. But I guess I had pushed myself too hard on our particular run that particular night, because after eating only one of the mozzarella sticks I threw up in my bathroom sink. 0/10

10.

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After my graduation on May 6th, I had returned to my hometown where was no Grubhub until August. I made this order on my first day back, desperately trying to set up IKEA furniture in my new apartment because none of my straight friends were around to do it for me.

“Looking at your car and putting together furniture is why you have straight friends,” — Marilyn Monroe (probably)

I was excited, because moving just one mile south from my old place had opened up almost a dozen new GrubHub establishments for me. I ordered a gyro platter, which to this day, is the only order I’ve ever made at the Happy Greek.

I hadn’t eaten all day, but even if I had, I’m sure it tasted good. It was new, it was exciting. 10/10

11.

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I remember this order really vividly because three days later I was still being a lazy fuck and refusing to go to the store. I didn’t get the water bottle because I hate the earth, but because of the fucking order minimum for delivery. Damn you, King’s Pizza. 7/10

12.

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I remember getting this delivery when everything was changing.

I was spending another year in my college town after graduating — I had just settled in actually, and I had been so excited to go back. I was hoping that it would be an extension of my college experience. That I would have all the fun and excitement of college without the coursework and never-ending commitments.

Instead, I felt like I had my nose-pressed to the window of my previous life. Stuck, motionless, isolated. I was surrounded by friends — many of whom I was quite close with — but nothing quite felt the same. Now that I was outside the general flow of people’s rapid-paced lives, I started to realize that we were all too busy to hang out. And we would all stay too busy. 1/10

12.

screen-shot-2016-12-29-at-11-18-12-am

I ordered this on a lazy Friday before Labor Day weekend. All my roommates were leaving town to go camping together, leaving me to an empty apartment. Apollo’s platter is decisively not as good as the Happy Greek’s, but it was a little cheaper and a shorter delivery time. Something about $18.25 feels much more indulgent than $12.65.

Later that night I was going to get a drink with a boy who I had met on a dating app. I had spent the past year waiting on a series of different guys to decide to give me a shot, and it had totally tanked my self-esteem and confidence.

My date was a few blocks away from me, so we decided to meet up and walk down to the bar together. I was nervous, but almost apathetic, ready to embrace the next bitter, dark, disappointment of my romantic life.

Instead, as hopped between bars and rooftop patios that night I stumbled into a man who made me want to ditch my angsty #ForeverSingle facade — perhaps forever. 10/10

13.

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I ordered this after getting back from the gym and being too lazy to cook. I think I really like Greek food. 7/10

14.

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I’m actually amazed that I didn’t order anything from GrubHub for almost a month.

I was still talking to the guy I had met Labor Day weekend, as a matter of fact, I was now calling him my boyfriend. He had just gotten a “cannot refuse” job offer across the country, and I was picking away at my Gyro while texting him and watching the West Wing.

We were going to stay together. I should’ve felt scared, but I didn’t. I felt like the greater improbability was me finding someone I loved, not having that love survive across 2,000 miles. 9/10

15.

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I got this for lunch after my boyfriend had left town for the last time before heading out to his new job in a new city in a new timezone.

We had spent the entire day together before. Going to various mall stores and looking at expensive furniture that cost more than my entire hometown (probably). As we fell asleep together that night, I felt a quiet sense of calm and contentment that I cannot recall every feeling before.

The pizza itself could have used a little more sauce, but otherwise not bad. 8/10. TC mark